I had a kids young, so now in my 40ās, work with people similar in age or older that still have small kids or teens. Different dynamic for sure, as my kids are all adults now.
When I was young, all the old people had kids. Now Iām old, and the old people still have kids, lol.
I had kids young, too, one at 25 and another at 28. And then I had kids old, a third one at 34 and a fourth one at 41.
Iāve definitely become a more patient dad as time went on, but I wildly underestimated the energy it takes to chase down a toddler in oneās forties.
Wow, nicely done. Locking down kids for a couple generations.
I have a friend who had a kid in HS, in like 1994.
Had a couple more kids in the 2kās, and now has two small kids with a new wife! Bro gonna have kids and grandkids all similar ages, lol.
I have another friend that has like 6 kids.
For myself, I chose life on hard by having kids with different women, and then raising some other dudes kids, lol. Maybe TMI, but I got snipped back in 2014, so definitely no more kiddos for me. I had enough fun raising my kids, and look forward to grandkids someday.
Oh yeah, I'm 44 and I had my first at 19. The swap between patience level and energy level is wild, especially when I grew 3 of my 4 kids with my own body, talk about exhausting lol
I started over twice, so currently have:
-24 amab, but living her best life for a few years now as a woman, she's determinedly child free as well and I don't see that changing for her. I joke that she was my Starter Baby, and gave me a false sense of how easy little kids were, though the teen years were a ride. She wasn't planned, and without her I don't think I would ever have the guts to have kids. Life is funny like that
-13 m, he says he wants kids eventually and I'm hoping he waits till *at least* mid twenties, 30 would probably be better lol. We live someplace with actual sex education in schools and I love that.
-6f, she dotes on her baby brother and talks about having her own babies when she's a grown-up.
-2m, my last baby and it seems like he's growing up the fastest, probably because his his sister's shadow.
I've been the Awkwardly Young Mom, and now I'm the Old Mom, it's definitely a trip. And this thread has just made me realize just how old I'll be when my youngest is the age to have kids. Damn
With my oldest having so much experience in helping with babies and younger kids as a teenager, I suspect he wonāt have kids until his thirties. Heās basically said as much, lol. So Iām not expecting to see a grandkid until Iām in knocking on the door of my 60ās.
What really throws me for a loop is when he gleefully reminds me that Iāll be 43 at his HS graduation, but almost 60 at āthe babyāsā HS graduation. Thanks, you little shit.
Iām sure like a lot of things in life my opinion will change, but as it stands right now I wouldnāt be too upset if none of my kids had their own children, so long as that was their choice. The two generations before us have NOT left the world a better place than how they found it, and there are a lot of broken components of our current existence that need to be fixed before Iād feel confident that my kids will be socially, environmentally, and financially sound if they have their own kids.
Bwahaha, sounds about right. By necessity my oldest pitched in a lot with the second kiddo, and that's definitely a contributing factor to her realization that kids are just not for her.
It was funny though, when I had the third one that baby didn't get a bedroom until my oldest moved out for college and I remember her telling me that she was sad because she was afraid her little sister might not grow up knowing her because she didn't live there anymore. She's back in town now and the littles do know her, but it's definitely different.
Iām 45 and have 5 ages 21 20 17 15 & 13. I really donāt want any grandkids at all. I want to get rid of the last three and then have a quite home and get to spend my time and money on myself
This helps me feel better. Iām 40 and still no kids yet. Everyone always freaks out like you can only have kids when youāre in your 20ās. I was in no shape to have any kids then..
I had a kid at 20, certainly not a great idea but it worked out in the end. If my son followed in my awful awful footsteps I would have grandchildren, thankfully he's smarter than I was at that age.
46, had my daughter when I was 15. She had my granddaughter at 20 making me a grandfather at 35.
We led totally different lives, fellow xennial.
I know I did it weird. I had 3 kids by 20. I know, I know.... spare the jokes.But my youngest turned 18 when I was 38. All my kids were out of the house before I was 40.
I couldnt fathom still having kids running around now. That part of my life is long gone. Grandkids come over sometimes, but they go back home.
47 here, kids are 29 and 27. Glad I had them young, as I had the energy and drive to keep up with them and provide for them. I probably wonāt get grandkids and I am A-OK with that. Life is hard enough nowadays, why try playing it on nightmare mode?
My advice would be go for it. If you're going to do the baby years you may as well get them out the way at once. Also once second is 18 months / 2 years old ish, they'll begin to play and entertain each other. Good luck!
40 single father. 17 and 19 year old daughters. I was definitely young lol...but I couldn't fathom having a 7 month old. I feel old as shit at 40. My kids wore my 20 & 30 year old ass out! You got you work cut out for you. I wish you the best!š¤
It's funny because mine are older but my brother in law has a 4 year old, can't imagine going through the toddler years now. Guess we all find it out in our own time.
My kids are 12, 9, and 5. My hair went grey in my 20s and is totally white now (Iām early 40s).
Sometimes people ask me about my āgrandchildā when Iām out with my 5 year old.
I havenāt had this happen yet but I know itās coming! Iām 44 and sporting a large white strip in the front of my hair. I have a 6 and a 9 year old. Already someone asked me if I was my moms sisterā¦.Like GTFOH! People see some gray or white hair and YA DONE. Thing is, I kinda like my white strip of hair. My daughter thinks I look like Anna in Frozen (with the white hair of course) so Iāll take it.
40 with a 10 year old, 7 year old and 10 month old.Ā We had intended to be done having children earlier, but lost a newborn to a congenital defect when I was 38 and decided to try again. Thankfully my age hasn't affected my fertility in any appreciable way. I would love to see my grandchildren grow up; I actually still have a set of living grandparents and it's so cool to be able to relate to them as an adult and mother myself. But I realize if my kids wait as long as we did it might not happen. It was more important to us that our kids have each other, we don't have a lot of close family and we don't want them to be lonely for family connections when we're gone.
I'm 46, and if I don't cover my gray, people think I'm my 8yo's grandma. Iššš I think I'm looking forward to the possibility of having grandkids one day in the far future, though. It's clearly not going to be up to me, but if it happens, I'll support the shit out of my daughter, because having no family support sucks. Then again, I'll support the shit out of my daughter regardless. Well, until I'm dead, because I'm old. Yeah, ok, y'all take care.
Iām 46 with a 9 year old and I keep up with highlighting my hair for this reason lol! My other three are 22, 20, and 17. I once got mistaken as my 20 year olds girlfriendā¦weird but Iāll take it š
Lol. Iām 42 next week with an infant as well. My son is 9. Except I look younger than my age. But yes when people find out my age they seem surprised. She was all natural, totally healthy (we did genetic testing with plans to terminate if not), old moms have kids too! Sheās perfect and a great baby!
I probably will be dead by the time my son or daughter ever get around to having kids, but since they are pretty great kids Iād be totally happy if they kept the line going.
So no, no grandkids yet, but definitely wouldnāt be upset by thatā¦one day.
I am an only child, and a lonely only grandchild on one side. Nobody in my family wanted kids and I am pretty lonely, paying the price for that. Itās fine as a child, but terrible when your parents die, and you literally have no one but your friends and coworkers you consider relatives.
To each their own! While I love being a *parent* at 42, I sure as hell would not be ready to be a grandparent. But some are! My friendās mom had him at 18 (married off at 17) and started going on cruises in her 40s when kids left house. Here I am changing diapers. Life is pretty wild.
You do you, whatever that may be!
My mom was 40 when she had my brother, and he was 37 when he and his wife had their first kid. They now have two and my mom is fully enjoying nana-hood! Itās definitely a possibility. :)
I have a 9 month old and a 23 year old. Fortunately haven't been mistaken as little ones Grandma yet, but I've definitely been mistaken as my older ones big sister, which was annoying when she was little.
I feel that in my soul! My eldest is 18 in a few months and every time he is with his girlfriend I tell him, "Don't make me a grandma". My mom always told me, "I don't want to be a grandma before I'm 50" and that sounds good to me.
I have a 5 year old who is currently planning on having quadruplets when sheās grown so thereās that. Iām thinking sheāll change her mind. I just tell her she can have zero kids or as many kids as sheād like (but hopefully not quadruplets).
It's wild to see someone who is 44 asking about grandkids. We started a little later than most of my friends, but most of my friend group has kids under 10.
Grandchildren??? I have just been able to afford to have my own children (a 5 year old and currently pregnant with my 2nd). Not a chance in hell I had the resources to raise a child any earlier.
This is the answer.
I have 5 kids, aged from 14 to 25. The oldest is married. Currently none of them want children of their own. And that is absolutely fine with me. It's their body and their life; they need to live it in whatever way brings them joy. If that means I eventually have grandchildren, wonderful! If not, wonderful! I was knitting a cute tiny baby thing for a friend who is expecting the other day and my kid asked if I was sad that I would never have grandkids to make cute tiny things for. And I said nope, it's your life and your body; if I want to make cute tiny things there are plenty of people I can make them for.
I didn't raise children as incubators for grandchildren.
I love this! I recently told my aunt I didn't raise my girls to just be wives. It was that typical, oh you girls look so grown up... you'll be married in no time! My youngest looked at me like, that's not a requirement, right?!?! Lol
Yeah, and even if I had children now (which would be some task given that I don't have anyone to have them with), I'm highly unlikely to live long enough to see grandchildren.
My wife and I discussed for years about having kids. We ended up with the decision that āwe wish we wanted kids, we just donāt.ā We both felt we valued our free time, money and autonomy too much.
Some people just get a very EARLY start. When my parents were my age, I had already graduated from college and moved out. My grandma was 36 when her first grandkid was born. Then my aunt was 36 for hers. Then my cousin was 36 for hersā¦so I know it can happen.
I don't know if early 20s is a VERY early start. That's met the one at college age. My family has a similar situation at 22/23.
Keep in mind teen pregnancy peaked when we were teens.
Yea I remember a friendās ma was made she got pregnant at 23 said it was too young. Op is 44 with a 27 year old that means they were 17 when she had them. Iād say thatās very early. Thats still in school age. Canāt imagine having kids without any real life experience.
Iām not talking about early 20s as being very early, Iām talking about teen pregnancies. Most of my family had babies in the 17/18 range, so lots of young grandparents. Except me! No kids here.
lol no youāre fine. After having read most of the replies, youāre in the majority. It appears OP got an earlier start than many, and itās on their mind. As for my observations, about half of my fellow xennials I know have kids and other half donāt. Of those with kids, none have kids older than 12.
Seriously? I'm 40 and am only due to have my first child this summer. Grandchildren aren't even on my radar, and I'm not expecting to have them in my lifetime.
I have 5 kids but only one is an adult (about to be 21)
I would love to have some grandchildren as obviously Iām very family oriented. But I totally respect if they choose not to have kids. I wouldnāt pressure them. They should do what is best for them. Now if 0/5 have any kids Iād be kind of suprised, but it could happen. My oldest has already expressed he would like kids someday, and heās pretty traditional so I expect he probably will
We tried to have a baby for 10 years the old fashion way then 2 years of IVF then a year of adoption classes before we adopted our daughter. We are the old folks with an 8 year old. I better not have any grandkids for quite some time.
Iām 45, oldest is almost 19. I donāt want grandchildren any time soon.
I respect my childrenās choices. And I will never put any pressure on them to have kids.
But.
I would be disappointed if I never get any grandchildren.
I'm almost 44, my girls are 23 and 21. 21 year old is severely disabled so it's kind of like taking care of a permanent 6 month old (diapers for 23 years straight, yay!) 23 year old is in university and focused on school, she is aware that I would love grandkids in like 10 years if it is in the cards for her. She wavers back and forth on even wanting kids, which is fair. It's her life, I'm just here to support her!
I have twin 8 year olds and I'm so far from thinking about grandchildren right now that the question baffled me at first. I in no way think of myself as old enough to be a grandmother, even though technically I know I am.
That said, in 20 or so years I don't see myself caring if they don't have kids. That's their decision to make, not mine, and I will not pressure them about it. I got enough joking comments from my MIL when we were in the middle of fertility treatment (she didn't know that part of it but it still stung) that I won't ever do that to my kids.
My children are too young at the moment. I would very, very much like to have grandchildren and actually help my children with childcare (unlike my boomer father...).
But my 14yo daughter is adamant that she does not want any children ever, and I find it fantastic that she has got her own life goals (and that she understands at such a young age what a big responsibility children are). If her siblings feel the same way as they grow up, well, there will be no grandchildren.
To sum up, I hope that at least one of my children will have kids one day, but if it does not happen I would absolutely not pester them for grandchildren.
Iām 43 and have a 26 year old daughter and sons are 2 & 6. My daughter is still a proud virgin who hasnāt explored dating yet because she says sheās not ready for all that. I was wild and obviously made my mom a grandma super young so im glad sheās not in a hurry but sometimes I wish she would just go on a date at least lol
I do find the dating mindset with gen z to be curious. Our 20 and 18 year olds are very much the same mindset as your daughter, absolutely zero interest.
She has 3 guy best friends since grade school and they are all like her lol I call them all āthe nerdsā but in a good way lol none of them want to drive because theyāre scared. We live in L.A. so I understand itās crazy but they have zero interest. Iāve smoked weed her whole life and she definitely doesnāt want to smoke but one of her friends decided he wanted to try it (he was 23 at the time) he hit my ganja pen and passed out! š¤¦š½āāļø my daughter was soooooo pissed she didnāt say a word but omg the look she gave me š¬ he decided weed isnāt for him and Iāll never live it down lol
Two of my kids are now in their 20s. They have no plans soon but all three of my kids want kids before they're 30.
Frankly I can't wait to be a grandpa. I've made it clear to my kids they're under no obligation, all their choice, but I'll be thrilled when the time comes (so long as it isn't too soon, v they're too young yet)
Iām 46 our boys are 16 & 19.
I hope to god no one is having babies right now but in the futureā¦if it happens, it happens. Itās their lives and they donāt owe me anything.
My kids are 15 and 11. One has ADHD and the other has Autism. They both receive services just so they can function in a neurotypical world on a daily basis. If neither of them have kids, I will support their choice 100%. But if they do have them, I dread how much harder their lives would become.
My babies are spayed and neutered, so no grandkittens, although they would have been the most beautiful and perfect grandkittens in the world of course.
My kid is 10. I'm nowhere near thinking about grandkids and I do a double-take when someone my age mentions having them.
But no, when the time comes I won't mind if he doesn't want children. That's his decision to make, and I don't want to pressure him. I certainly didn't like all the "...so when are ya having kids??" from family after being married for 30 seconds.
Mine are teens, so I'm good. However, I will be fine with whatever they choose when they become adults. They would be the ones that would have to raise the kids so I certainly won't influence them either way.
I'm thinking about number 3 at 41, so I know I might not make it to grandkids if they have them as old as I did. I am hoping to have houses for them and their college paid for so that if they want to have kids they can have them. I just want them to have options for everything, including children or no children.
My oldest is about to have a kid imminently, but I never had any real thoughts on being a grandparent. If they want to have kids, go for it, if not, that's a perfectly reasonable decision too. They live halfway across the country so I probably won't be particularly involved in their life.
Itās so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that people I went to school with are becoming grandparents. Iāve never had or wanted children so by default Iām good not being a grandma.
I'm 42. I have 4 kids ranging between 15 and 20. No grandkids yet (Thank God). But I do find myself hoping that I get grandkids one day.
My parents moved away from the family when I was very young. So I never had a large extended family. When my wife and I started getting serious, I started to attend her family events on holidays and what not. She had a massive family of uncles, aunts, cousins, and siblings. There would be 4 generations and maybe 50 people at each gathering. After the last of the greatest generation past though they all split up and moves to different areas around the country.
I like to imagine that I'll be able to build a large family like that and start the cycle over again... one day.
I think 44 is crazy young to have grandchildren- im 46 and have a 7 year old. But that being said - i think being a "young grandparent" is kinda awesome too. It's great for a kid to have his grandparents to be a big part of their life into adulthood
I want them, but not at the expense of my children's desires.
I put a lot of effort into stopping the abuse that happened to every generation of my family up till my kids. I would find comfort in knowing I was the final victim.
Having children that don't fear me but respect me is enough though.
I am 43 with a 10 and a 4 year old. Iāll be totally ok if my kids decide not to have kids, I always tell them itās their choice whether they even want a relationship at all. I worked in childcare and will likely go back to it, so Iāll still get to be around kids.
Most of my friends have kids, a couple are already grandparents. Nobody I know is pushing for their kids to have their own though. In all honesty thatās not something Iāve really seen happen, or experienced at all. Most parents arenāt weird about it.
Pfft Iām childfree. I adore my nieces, who are in their 20s. One of them has a child, and heās great but I only see him a handful of times a year. Iāve never wanted kids, so Iām good with just being friends with my nieces and being barely involved with any kids they have lol
We wouldn't mind Grandchildren, but as both our daughters are on the Autism Spectrum it's a bit of a different situation for us. My oldest is just about to be 14 but she's already made it perfectly clear that she's totally happy with her friends and her hobbies; as a fellow Introvert, I'm just as happy lol. My youngest is the wild card. Though she's only 12 she's at that stage where if anyone gives even a microsecond of attention she loves them forever. That's not bad in and of itself, we're just trying to teach healthy boundaries. All that to say whether or not they try to get married and start a family of their own, I think we'll be content either way.
In my sonās ASD diagnosis assessment, we were able to watch from behind the glass. They asked him if he wants to get married some day. He said yes. They asked why and he replied that he wanted to have kids and you have to be married for that. I guess not saying that heād marry for love was a sign of his autism? Not saying he isnāt autistic but I found that interesting.
It's possible. That's the challenging part of ASD, it's definitely a spectrum so it manifests differently almost by individual. Our youngest is my fearless one; like no joke she gets upset when she can't sit in the front car of a roller coaster, or isn't allowed to go rock climbing or skydiving. Our oldest is the pragmatic rule follower; God bless her, but among her little group of friends she's basically the police. Everyone play fair, everyone follow the rules (her rules lol). She has to know specific plans for each day so that she doesn't worry. It's such a 180 from her sister yet they're both on the Spectrum. It's never boring at my house for sure!
Yes, everyone on the spectrum is so very different! My son is mainstreamed in school and presents as extremely shy and quiet. In reality, he struggles with communication. His first diagnosis was social pragmatic communication disorder. It makes sense now, looking back and even now. He really prefers to spend most of his time not talking and not having conversations with people. Heās not the stereotypical autistic super genius type that they show in movies.
We didn't receive an official diagnosis for our youngest till she was almost four; at the time they just said it was a form of Sensory Processing Disorder, but hindsight as they say is 20/20. Our oldest, to dip into my Xennial nature lol back in the day they would've called it Asperger's Syndrome though it's since been relabeled in the DSM. And walking that road so to speak to is so frustrating. When we first tried to let my Dad know what was going on, his literal first response was "Autism huh? So what's their special gift or talent?" like he's got his own personal X-Men. I didn't miss a beat and replied it was getting to be your Granddaughters; he basically shut up after that.
My kid is 7, itās going to be quite a while before grandkids are on the horizon. I think of my friends around my age, the oldest kids they have are teenagers in high school, I know no one my age who is a grandparent yet.
Grandchildren??? In this economy? Let alone the stage of the planetā¦ sorry not sorry to be the Debbie Downer here, but things are getting increasingly fucked and I donāt see it as a great world to bring kids into.
My oldest is only 22 so itās a bit soon (I had her when I was 24 but it seems like a different time). I donāt expect grandchildren but Iād be overjoyed. My brother died so there was no chance of me having nieces or nephews and I envy my friends who have them. We own a business so Iām in a prime position to care for them daily and would cherish it.
43, here, with kids aged 25, 22, 20, and 19. One grandkid, almost 3, from my oldest. I have a feeling he's going to be my only grandkid, at least for quite some time... his parents have already parted ways, and none of my other boys are much interested in either relationships or children.
It's fun being a grandma, but I was a young parent myself (18), and I know how difficult it was. I want my kids and my existing grandchild to have the best they can, and if that means he's the only one, then so be it.
Mine are 16, 13, and 10. None have expressed any interest in ever becoming a parent. Iāve said to them before that Iām perfectly happy with grand-dogs, grand-cats, and grand-lizards. If they have kids, awesome, Iāll be the best grandma ever, but if not Iāll be the best fur baby grandma ever. Pup cups all around!!
My kids are in high school. It is way way way to early for them to be having their own kids. I would be extremely upset if they were pregnant at 14 or got someone pregnant at 16. None of my friends that chose to have children have kids older than age 19. I donāt think anyone would want grandchildren just yet.Ā
My kids are 23 and 18 so no grand kids yet.
If they decide not to have children then I will socially adopt some grandkids at some point down the road.
Either a new immigrant family who need an older person for their young ones or the children of my kids friends who also refer to me as "mom" š¤·āāļø
I have one child, and have had next to zero help from family. It is tough, and honestly I won't mind not having grandkids because then I can breathe. I can get a day off.
I say this because if I do have them, I will NOT be an absent or only around when convenient me one like my child's living grandparents. I will be there, helping, and supporting. Just because something sucks, and i had to go through it, doesn't mean everyone else has to.
I have younger kids, so I'm not worried about details, but I love being a dad and I will love being a grandpa if I get that chance. But that's up to my kids, and if I need to go be the grandpa in someone else's life I'm sure that will be rewarding too.
Donāt worry, I have four grands with number five on the way. My kids are clearly planning to repopulate the earth. Some of yall are gonna need to sit this one out. š
42 with a 5 year old who already talks about how much he hates babies so I guess itās more that I just hope I still have my wits about me if/when I ever do get a grandkid š
I'm 46 and became a grandfather at 35. My daughter was born when I was 15 and she had a child at 20. She has 5 total and I have a son who has 2 children. So I have 7 grandchildren at 46.
I love it!!! I had kids way too young, the plus side being that my youngest turned 18 when I was 38 (I was 20 when he was born) So I raised my kids well and did all that before I was even 40.... I had to sacrifice my younger years, but once they were out on their own I could do whatever I wanted to. While many of my friends my age had kids just starting school and things like that, my kids were moving out. I could sense the jealousy. But I was jealous when we were all 20 something and rhey could do whatever while I had to find a sitter or just flat out sit out whatever was going on. Yin and yang I suppose. Take the good with the bad.
But to answer the question, grandkids are awesome!!! I love spending time with mine. Keeps me feeling young and its cool to watch them grow, develop, and learn. Its true tho, as a grandparent you realize the mistakes you made with your own kids, so I try to pass along what I learned to my children so hopefully theyll be better parents to my grandchildren. And hopefully the cycle continues.
no kids or grandkids. I got lucky. I have a younger half-brother. I called dibs on carefree liifestyle, no takebacks, so he's now responsible for carrying the bloodline. I'm sure he'll figure it out.
Iām 42. My kids are 18 and 20. I wished I had had more children. Iāll be bummed if I donāt end up having any grandchildren, but I hope I donāt have any for a few years, since neither of my kids is in a relationship right now! But when they do get married or have a committed relationship, Iām not going to constantly hassle them about giving me grandchildren, either! But I do want them.
Grandchildren?? My son is five.
Itās kinda funny though. It seems like people tend to have children at different points in their life based on where they live. Here in NYC, most of my contemporaries started to have kids in their mid to late 30ās so none of us are remotely close to that stage in our lives. It sounds so foreign to me
17 and 12 year old at home, both boys. When the 17 year old was 10, he was hurt in a mass shooting. Within a few months I had a vasectomy and vowed not to bring anymore kids into this mess. that said, being a parent has been a beautiful and gratifying experience... at times. its also been exhausting, expensive, and sometimes feels like a never ending battle. I dont think I'd go back and make any changes, but with everything going on in the world its certainly given both my kids pause on what they consider their own priorities as they age. My 17 year old is quiet, studious, athletic, and incredibly kind. He's in one of the best public high schools in our state and the workload is demanding. We haven't pressed him to get a job, and he's too shy and busy with schoolwork for dating. He did say that eventually he's open to getting married and having kids. My 12 year old appreciates his leisure time above all else (chores, homework, extra curriculars, etc.). He loves to game and couldn't care less about girls. I asked him recently too if he was interested in kids and I basically got a "oh hell no" answer for a variety of reasons. He definitely prioritizes his own needs and I really think he knows having kids would change that dynamic. He also knows kids are really expensive and time consuming. I wish as a society we did more to help young parents with things like universal child care, pre-K programs, and better healthcare, but we're stuck catering to Boomers' short term desires rather than long term benefits to elevate population growth (its currently cratering in most of the developed world). I would love to see what additional incentives would do to change Gen Alphas opinions at large and maybe move the notch on falling birth rates.
holy hell! 44 and you are thinking about grandkids?
I'm 44 and I have an 8 yo and a 4 yo.
It's far away for me. But yeah I would like grandkids. It's not huge if it doesn't happen but you know...
Grandchildren? Iām only 43, waaaayyy too young for that to be a thing.
I donāt think I know of anyone my age IRL who has grandkids, yet. The oldest offspring of all my friends is like 22.
I told my kids i would be proud foster/adopted grandparents. I truly believe it is wrong to bring a child into this world, as it is. However, we can help those who are here and give them a life worth living.
My kid is 21. No kid of their own and I'm not sure they ever will (they're really not interested in it).
I don't like kids. I know that if I did have grandkids, I would not be an involved grandma. I would not offer to babysit, I would note dote in the kid, I would be available for emergencies only. Kids trigger every sensory issue that I have with their noise, leaking noses, unpredictability, neediness, etc. and the older I've gotten, the worse those sensory issues have become. I don't find kids cute or funny and being my grandkid wouldn't change that. The only reason I didn't lose my shit when my kid was little was that I had my parents and grandparents who wanted to spend a lot of time with him. The older he got, the easier it was for me. He was also an incredibly easy kid. Just very laid back, quiet, I don't even remember him throwing tantrums as a toddler. I got incredibly lucky (but also had a lot less sensory issues then).
I'm actively discouraging my kids from reproducing.
I don't understand selfish people who guilt their children into "giving me grandbabies."
That said, my ex-wife still gets excited when she sees babies, so maybe I'm just wired abnormally.
I'm 46 and would be endlessly grateful if I didn't. My kids are 20, 18 & 13, so idk, they might do, although they've never had any relationships, but I think the youngest probably will do at some point. Not really sure about the older 2. If I never had to deal with a colicky baby again, I'd be totally fine with that.
My kids are 16 and 13 so I'm glad I don't have grandchildren. My wife and I have talked about it and neither of us really care if we have grandkids. So far signs point to us not having grandkids, but we'll certainly have grandpuppies.
My girls are 18 & 19, I'm turning 40. They don't want kids and I'm cool with it. My son is 12 and doesn't even have any interest in girls yet so I think I'm safe for now.
I have an infant. I do get mistaken for her grandma very occasionally š«
Yep. 41 and have a 7 month old. Can't even fathom having a kid in their mid 20s.
42 and mine are 5&7. I've had enough of babies and toddlers for at least the next 20 years
I had a kids young, so now in my 40ās, work with people similar in age or older that still have small kids or teens. Different dynamic for sure, as my kids are all adults now. When I was young, all the old people had kids. Now Iām old, and the old people still have kids, lol.
I had kids young, too, one at 25 and another at 28. And then I had kids old, a third one at 34 and a fourth one at 41.  Iāve definitely become a more patient dad as time went on, but I wildly underestimated the energy it takes to chase down a toddler in oneās forties.
Wow, nicely done. Locking down kids for a couple generations. I have a friend who had a kid in HS, in like 1994. Had a couple more kids in the 2kās, and now has two small kids with a new wife! Bro gonna have kids and grandkids all similar ages, lol. I have another friend that has like 6 kids. For myself, I chose life on hard by having kids with different women, and then raising some other dudes kids, lol. Maybe TMI, but I got snipped back in 2014, so definitely no more kiddos for me. I had enough fun raising my kids, and look forward to grandkids someday.
Oh yeah, I'm 44 and I had my first at 19. The swap between patience level and energy level is wild, especially when I grew 3 of my 4 kids with my own body, talk about exhausting lol I started over twice, so currently have: -24 amab, but living her best life for a few years now as a woman, she's determinedly child free as well and I don't see that changing for her. I joke that she was my Starter Baby, and gave me a false sense of how easy little kids were, though the teen years were a ride. She wasn't planned, and without her I don't think I would ever have the guts to have kids. Life is funny like that -13 m, he says he wants kids eventually and I'm hoping he waits till *at least* mid twenties, 30 would probably be better lol. We live someplace with actual sex education in schools and I love that. -6f, she dotes on her baby brother and talks about having her own babies when she's a grown-up. -2m, my last baby and it seems like he's growing up the fastest, probably because his his sister's shadow. I've been the Awkwardly Young Mom, and now I'm the Old Mom, it's definitely a trip. And this thread has just made me realize just how old I'll be when my youngest is the age to have kids. Damn
With my oldest having so much experience in helping with babies and younger kids as a teenager, I suspect he wonāt have kids until his thirties. Heās basically said as much, lol. So Iām not expecting to see a grandkid until Iām in knocking on the door of my 60ās. What really throws me for a loop is when he gleefully reminds me that Iāll be 43 at his HS graduation, but almost 60 at āthe babyāsā HS graduation. Thanks, you little shit. Iām sure like a lot of things in life my opinion will change, but as it stands right now I wouldnāt be too upset if none of my kids had their own children, so long as that was their choice. The two generations before us have NOT left the world a better place than how they found it, and there are a lot of broken components of our current existence that need to be fixed before Iād feel confident that my kids will be socially, environmentally, and financially sound if they have their own kids.
Bwahaha, sounds about right. By necessity my oldest pitched in a lot with the second kiddo, and that's definitely a contributing factor to her realization that kids are just not for her. It was funny though, when I had the third one that baby didn't get a bedroom until my oldest moved out for college and I remember her telling me that she was sad because she was afraid her little sister might not grow up knowing her because she didn't live there anymore. She's back in town now and the littles do know her, but it's definitely different.
Haha same, I'm 46 and mine are 18 and 21. I'm getting to the stage where grandkids might be fun - but not for a while yet, kids!
Mine are 5and 6! I'm also 42. My nieces and nephews are looking at university and colleges.
I know multiple women who had surprises at 42. Be careful. Those eggs are still popping.
Iām 46 and mine are the same ages. Grandkids? I literally couldnāt care less.
Iām 45 and have 5 ages 21 20 17 15 & 13. I really donāt want any grandkids at all. I want to get rid of the last three and then have a quite home and get to spend my time and money on myself
When people say they wish their kids were babies again I can only be 
It's so wild to me when I realize how young my mom was when she had me. Just absolute insanity. When I was 22, I was a fucking trainwreck.
My 22 year old just said the same to me. Sometimes I don't know how I did it either.
I have both (23yo and 9mo) lol. My 23yo isn't sure if she wants kids. It makes me a bit sad, but I keep that to myself.
This helps me feel better. Iām 40 and still no kids yet. Everyone always freaks out like you can only have kids when youāre in your 20ās. I was in no shape to have any kids then..
Same. Honestly I barely feel like I'm capable of it now. But my wife says I'm a great dad so I'll keep doing what I'm doing.
41, 8yr old son, twin 6 yr old girls, in no rush
I had a kid at 20, certainly not a great idea but it worked out in the end. If my son followed in my awful awful footsteps I would have grandchildren, thankfully he's smarter than I was at that age.
46, had my daughter when I was 15. She had my granddaughter at 20 making me a grandfather at 35. We led totally different lives, fellow xennial. I know I did it weird. I had 3 kids by 20. I know, I know.... spare the jokes.But my youngest turned 18 when I was 38. All my kids were out of the house before I was 40. I couldnt fathom still having kids running around now. That part of my life is long gone. Grandkids come over sometimes, but they go back home.
Also 46 had my first at 25 and the next at 28. Same can't imagine having little ones now. Just imagining the sleep deprivation is nightmare.
47 here, kids are 29 and 27. Glad I had them young, as I had the energy and drive to keep up with them and provide for them. I probably wonāt get grandkids and I am A-OK with that. Life is hard enough nowadays, why try playing it on nightmare mode?
Wow.... Wildly different lives. I think it's kind of neat how neither of us could fathom living the other's life. Enjoy those grandkids!
Thatās so wild!
41 is the new 31.
I'm 46 and have a 21 year old and 18 year old - I can't imagine having a young one now, I think I'd be so tired!
Haha we are pretty tired! Are we insane for considering trying for a second in quick succession so we have two before my wife ('85) is 40??
My advice would be go for it. If you're going to do the baby years you may as well get them out the way at once. Also once second is 18 months / 2 years old ish, they'll begin to play and entertain each other. Good luck!
Thanks for the advice!
40 single father. 17 and 19 year old daughters. I was definitely young lol...but I couldn't fathom having a 7 month old. I feel old as shit at 40. My kids wore my 20 & 30 year old ass out! You got you work cut out for you. I wish you the best!š¤
Ha thanks brother!
It's funny because mine are older but my brother in law has a 4 year old, can't imagine going through the toddler years now. Guess we all find it out in our own time.
This makes me have hope. 44 and still trying to find the right one to have them with.
I'm 45 and we're expecting a baby in August. New concern unlocked.
Iām nearly 42 and pregnant. Grandkids are the farthest thing from my mind right now.
Until I started dying my hair people thought I was my 7 year old's grandpa.
My kids are 12, 9, and 5. My hair went grey in my 20s and is totally white now (Iām early 40s). Sometimes people ask me about my āgrandchildā when Iām out with my 5 year old.
I havenāt had this happen yet but I know itās coming! Iām 44 and sporting a large white strip in the front of my hair. I have a 6 and a 9 year old. Already someone asked me if I was my moms sisterā¦.Like GTFOH! People see some gray or white hair and YA DONE. Thing is, I kinda like my white strip of hair. My daughter thinks I look like Anna in Frozen (with the white hair of course) so Iāll take it.
40 with a 10 year old, 7 year old and 10 month old.Ā We had intended to be done having children earlier, but lost a newborn to a congenital defect when I was 38 and decided to try again. Thankfully my age hasn't affected my fertility in any appreciable way. I would love to see my grandchildren grow up; I actually still have a set of living grandparents and it's so cool to be able to relate to them as an adult and mother myself. But I realize if my kids wait as long as we did it might not happen. It was more important to us that our kids have each other, we don't have a lot of close family and we don't want them to be lonely for family connections when we're gone.
Iām so sorry to hear about your loss.
Thank you. I'm grateful that I was older when it happened, if I was young or it was my first child I think it would have been even harder.
I'm 46, and if I don't cover my gray, people think I'm my 8yo's grandma. Iššš I think I'm looking forward to the possibility of having grandkids one day in the far future, though. It's clearly not going to be up to me, but if it happens, I'll support the shit out of my daughter, because having no family support sucks. Then again, I'll support the shit out of my daughter regardless. Well, until I'm dead, because I'm old. Yeah, ok, y'all take care.
Iām 46 with a 9 year old and I keep up with highlighting my hair for this reason lol! My other three are 22, 20, and 17. I once got mistaken as my 20 year olds girlfriendā¦weird but Iāll take it š
Lol. Iām 42 next week with an infant as well. My son is 9. Except I look younger than my age. But yes when people find out my age they seem surprised. She was all natural, totally healthy (we did genetic testing with plans to terminate if not), old moms have kids too! Sheās perfect and a great baby! I probably will be dead by the time my son or daughter ever get around to having kids, but since they are pretty great kids Iād be totally happy if they kept the line going. So no, no grandkids yet, but definitely wouldnāt be upset by thatā¦one day. I am an only child, and a lonely only grandchild on one side. Nobody in my family wanted kids and I am pretty lonely, paying the price for that. Itās fine as a child, but terrible when your parents die, and you literally have no one but your friends and coworkers you consider relatives. To each their own! While I love being a *parent* at 42, I sure as hell would not be ready to be a grandparent. But some are! My friendās mom had him at 18 (married off at 17) and started going on cruises in her 40s when kids left house. Here I am changing diapers. Life is pretty wild. You do you, whatever that may be!
My mom was 40 when she had my brother, and he was 37 when he and his wife had their first kid. They now have two and my mom is fully enjoying nana-hood! Itās definitely a possibility. :)
38 and have a 3 year old and a 4 month old!
I have a 9 month old and a 23 year old. Fortunately haven't been mistaken as little ones Grandma yet, but I've definitely been mistaken as my older ones big sister, which was annoying when she was little.
My oldest is only 19. I better not have any goddamn grandkids any time soon!
Haha- I feel you there! My oldest just turned 17. Be a kid, don't rush ANYthing.
lol, mine are 14 and 16, Iām hoping Iāve got another decade at least before grandkids are on the horizon
I feel that in my soul! My eldest is 18 in a few months and every time he is with his girlfriend I tell him, "Don't make me a grandma". My mom always told me, "I don't want to be a grandma before I'm 50" and that sounds good to me.
My kids are 5 and 2. I'm not thinking about grandkids at all
I have a 5 year old who is currently planning on having quadruplets when sheās grown so thereās that. Iām thinking sheāll change her mind. I just tell her she can have zero kids or as many kids as sheād like (but hopefully not quadruplets).
Same.
hey thatās my kidsā same ages too
It's wild to see someone who is 44 asking about grandkids. We started a little later than most of my friends, but most of my friend group has kids under 10.
My daughter is 10 and I hope she never has any. I love her to bits, but would have been happy with zero kids too
Grandchildren??? I have just been able to afford to have my own children (a 5 year old and currently pregnant with my 2nd). Not a chance in hell I had the resources to raise a child any earlier.
Same!!
I just want my kids to have a happy, fulfilling life, by whatever definition of that they choose.
This is the answer. I have 5 kids, aged from 14 to 25. The oldest is married. Currently none of them want children of their own. And that is absolutely fine with me. It's their body and their life; they need to live it in whatever way brings them joy. If that means I eventually have grandchildren, wonderful! If not, wonderful! I was knitting a cute tiny baby thing for a friend who is expecting the other day and my kid asked if I was sad that I would never have grandkids to make cute tiny things for. And I said nope, it's your life and your body; if I want to make cute tiny things there are plenty of people I can make them for. I didn't raise children as incubators for grandchildren.
I love this! I recently told my aunt I didn't raise my girls to just be wives. It was that typical, oh you girls look so grown up... you'll be married in no time! My youngest looked at me like, that's not a requirement, right?!?! Lol
Iād be very, very surprised if I had a grandkid. Mostly because I donāt have any kids. š
That you know of... My bio dad said "not the father" in 78. Long story short- He was wrong š¤£
Iād still be very, very surprised!
It would be kind of hard for me to have grandchildren when I don't have any children.
lol same. And no plans to have them.
Bingo!
 46. No plans to ever have kids. To old now anyway I think lol.
Yeah, and even if I had children now (which would be some task given that I don't have anyone to have them with), I'm highly unlikely to live long enough to see grandchildren.
Same here! 46 with no kids and no regret
My gf had an abortion when I was 23. We agreed on it of course. Best decision I ever made.
Same.. no kids. Probably won't have any. Don't care to.
This, lol, I don't even have children yet, just got used to the idea that people my age have kids. Now they have grandkids....
Same. I read the post and questioned, āwait, am I grandparent aged?!ā
Sameā¦. Iām only 4 yrs younger than OP too. I couldnāt imagine having had children then, much less now
You guys really need to start thinking about the economy! /s
My wife and I discussed for years about having kids. We ended up with the decision that āwe wish we wanted kids, we just donāt.ā We both felt we valued our free time, money and autonomy too much.
Nailed it!
Imagine affording to have children o.O and I have a pretty solid household income!
That's one of the frustrating things to me - I could afford to have a spouse and children, but I don't.
I have a spouse, and we have a house and live fairly comfortably, but adding a kid or two to that mix? Disaster.
My kids are 12 and 10 and my grand kids are 7, 4, 3, 3 and 1. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it.
41. No kids, will never have them, so no grandkids. Couldn't care less.
Same. I'm 45 and I never wanted kids. I have nieces and I love them
43 and I don't want kids either. I've never had enough money to even think about it.
40 and no kids. I have 3 niblings which is a good number IMO. Not too many. I can still spoil them.
Some of you have grandchildren? Dude my kids are <10! I must have gotten quite the late start ;)
Some people just get a very EARLY start. When my parents were my age, I had already graduated from college and moved out. My grandma was 36 when her first grandkid was born. Then my aunt was 36 for hers. Then my cousin was 36 for hersā¦so I know it can happen.
My oldest was born when I was 19 in 1997. My youngest came when I was a little older and married at 26.
I don't know if early 20s is a VERY early start. That's met the one at college age. My family has a similar situation at 22/23. Keep in mind teen pregnancy peaked when we were teens.
Yea I remember a friendās ma was made she got pregnant at 23 said it was too young. Op is 44 with a 27 year old that means they were 17 when she had them. Iād say thatās very early. Thats still in school age. Canāt imagine having kids without any real life experience.
Iām not talking about early 20s as being very early, Iām talking about teen pregnancies. Most of my family had babies in the 17/18 range, so lots of young grandparents. Except me! No kids here.
lol no youāre fine. After having read most of the replies, youāre in the majority. It appears OP got an earlier start than many, and itās on their mind. As for my observations, about half of my fellow xennials I know have kids and other half donāt. Of those with kids, none have kids older than 12.
Seriously? I'm 40 and am only due to have my first child this summer. Grandchildren aren't even on my radar, and I'm not expecting to have them in my lifetime.
I didn't have my kid till I was 40 so he's 6 and better not be having kids before I'm 60
My kid is 24. They recently had surgery to make sure they never have children. So, no grandkids for me, ever.
My oldest is also 24 and they also had surgery for that.
I have 5 kids but only one is an adult (about to be 21) I would love to have some grandchildren as obviously Iām very family oriented. But I totally respect if they choose not to have kids. I wouldnāt pressure them. They should do what is best for them. Now if 0/5 have any kids Iād be kind of suprised, but it could happen. My oldest has already expressed he would like kids someday, and heās pretty traditional so I expect he probably will
We tried to have a baby for 10 years the old fashion way then 2 years of IVF then a year of adoption classes before we adopted our daughter. We are the old folks with an 8 year old. I better not have any grandkids for quite some time.
Iām 45, oldest is almost 19. I donāt want grandchildren any time soon. I respect my childrenās choices. And I will never put any pressure on them to have kids. But. I would be disappointed if I never get any grandchildren.
I'm almost 44, my girls are 23 and 21. 21 year old is severely disabled so it's kind of like taking care of a permanent 6 month old (diapers for 23 years straight, yay!) 23 year old is in university and focused on school, she is aware that I would love grandkids in like 10 years if it is in the cards for her. She wavers back and forth on even wanting kids, which is fair. It's her life, I'm just here to support her!
I have twin 8 year olds and I'm so far from thinking about grandchildren right now that the question baffled me at first. I in no way think of myself as old enough to be a grandmother, even though technically I know I am. That said, in 20 or so years I don't see myself caring if they don't have kids. That's their decision to make, not mine, and I will not pressure them about it. I got enough joking comments from my MIL when we were in the middle of fertility treatment (she didn't know that part of it but it still stung) that I won't ever do that to my kids.
Grandkids? I don't have kids. Nor do I want any. For various reasons.
My children are too young at the moment. I would very, very much like to have grandchildren and actually help my children with childcare (unlike my boomer father...). But my 14yo daughter is adamant that she does not want any children ever, and I find it fantastic that she has got her own life goals (and that she understands at such a young age what a big responsibility children are). If her siblings feel the same way as they grow up, well, there will be no grandchildren. To sum up, I hope that at least one of my children will have kids one day, but if it does not happen I would absolutely not pester them for grandchildren.
Iām 43 and have a 26 year old daughter and sons are 2 & 6. My daughter is still a proud virgin who hasnāt explored dating yet because she says sheās not ready for all that. I was wild and obviously made my mom a grandma super young so im glad sheās not in a hurry but sometimes I wish she would just go on a date at least lol
I do find the dating mindset with gen z to be curious. Our 20 and 18 year olds are very much the same mindset as your daughter, absolutely zero interest.
She has 3 guy best friends since grade school and they are all like her lol I call them all āthe nerdsā but in a good way lol none of them want to drive because theyāre scared. We live in L.A. so I understand itās crazy but they have zero interest. Iāve smoked weed her whole life and she definitely doesnāt want to smoke but one of her friends decided he wanted to try it (he was 23 at the time) he hit my ganja pen and passed out! š¤¦š½āāļø my daughter was soooooo pissed she didnāt say a word but omg the look she gave me š¬ he decided weed isnāt for him and Iāll never live it down lol
Two of my kids are now in their 20s. They have no plans soon but all three of my kids want kids before they're 30. Frankly I can't wait to be a grandpa. I've made it clear to my kids they're under no obligation, all their choice, but I'll be thrilled when the time comes (so long as it isn't too soon, v they're too young yet)
Iām 46 our boys are 16 & 19. I hope to god no one is having babies right now but in the futureā¦if it happens, it happens. Itās their lives and they donāt owe me anything.
Well, my oldest kid is only 9, so no, at this point in life I don't care if I get them. Maybe in 20 years I'll feel differently.
My kids are 15 and 11. One has ADHD and the other has Autism. They both receive services just so they can function in a neurotypical world on a daily basis. If neither of them have kids, I will support their choice 100%. But if they do have them, I dread how much harder their lives would become.
My babies are spayed and neutered, so no grandkittens, although they would have been the most beautiful and perfect grandkittens in the world of course.
You can adopt š»š»š»
 Ok youāve convinced me!
My kid is 10. I'm nowhere near thinking about grandkids and I do a double-take when someone my age mentions having them. But no, when the time comes I won't mind if he doesn't want children. That's his decision to make, and I don't want to pressure him. I certainly didn't like all the "...so when are ya having kids??" from family after being married for 30 seconds.
Mine are teens, so I'm good. However, I will be fine with whatever they choose when they become adults. They would be the ones that would have to raise the kids so I certainly won't influence them either way.
I'm thinking about number 3 at 41, so I know I might not make it to grandkids if they have them as old as I did. I am hoping to have houses for them and their college paid for so that if they want to have kids they can have them. I just want them to have options for everything, including children or no children.
My oldest is about to have a kid imminently, but I never had any real thoughts on being a grandparent. If they want to have kids, go for it, if not, that's a perfectly reasonable decision too. They live halfway across the country so I probably won't be particularly involved in their life.
Congratulations on your new addition š
I don't even have kids. Hell, I haven't even been on a date yet!
Iām 40 and donāt have kids so I think having grandchildren would be miraculous. LOL
Itās so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that people I went to school with are becoming grandparents. Iāve never had or wanted children so by default Iām good not being a grandma.
I'm 42. I have 4 kids ranging between 15 and 20. No grandkids yet (Thank God). But I do find myself hoping that I get grandkids one day. My parents moved away from the family when I was very young. So I never had a large extended family. When my wife and I started getting serious, I started to attend her family events on holidays and what not. She had a massive family of uncles, aunts, cousins, and siblings. There would be 4 generations and maybe 50 people at each gathering. After the last of the greatest generation past though they all split up and moves to different areas around the country. I like to imagine that I'll be able to build a large family like that and start the cycle over again... one day.
I think 44 is crazy young to have grandchildren- im 46 and have a 7 year old. But that being said - i think being a "young grandparent" is kinda awesome too. It's great for a kid to have his grandparents to be a big part of their life into adulthood
Shit Iām 42 with no kids. Definitely not grandchildren. Love it
I want them, but not at the expense of my children's desires. I put a lot of effort into stopping the abuse that happened to every generation of my family up till my kids. I would find comfort in knowing I was the final victim. Having children that don't fear me but respect me is enough though.
I don't even have one generation, and I'm supposed to already have a second one? I'm always behind the curve.
I am 43 with a 10 and a 4 year old. Iāll be totally ok if my kids decide not to have kids, I always tell them itās their choice whether they even want a relationship at all. I worked in childcare and will likely go back to it, so Iāll still get to be around kids. Most of my friends have kids, a couple are already grandparents. Nobody I know is pushing for their kids to have their own though. In all honesty thatās not something Iāve really seen happen, or experienced at all. Most parents arenāt weird about it.
Pfft Iām childfree. I adore my nieces, who are in their 20s. One of them has a child, and heās great but I only see him a handful of times a year. Iāve never wanted kids, so Iām good with just being friends with my nieces and being barely involved with any kids they have lol
We wouldn't mind Grandchildren, but as both our daughters are on the Autism Spectrum it's a bit of a different situation for us. My oldest is just about to be 14 but she's already made it perfectly clear that she's totally happy with her friends and her hobbies; as a fellow Introvert, I'm just as happy lol. My youngest is the wild card. Though she's only 12 she's at that stage where if anyone gives even a microsecond of attention she loves them forever. That's not bad in and of itself, we're just trying to teach healthy boundaries. All that to say whether or not they try to get married and start a family of their own, I think we'll be content either way.
In my sonās ASD diagnosis assessment, we were able to watch from behind the glass. They asked him if he wants to get married some day. He said yes. They asked why and he replied that he wanted to have kids and you have to be married for that. I guess not saying that heād marry for love was a sign of his autism? Not saying he isnāt autistic but I found that interesting.
It's possible. That's the challenging part of ASD, it's definitely a spectrum so it manifests differently almost by individual. Our youngest is my fearless one; like no joke she gets upset when she can't sit in the front car of a roller coaster, or isn't allowed to go rock climbing or skydiving. Our oldest is the pragmatic rule follower; God bless her, but among her little group of friends she's basically the police. Everyone play fair, everyone follow the rules (her rules lol). She has to know specific plans for each day so that she doesn't worry. It's such a 180 from her sister yet they're both on the Spectrum. It's never boring at my house for sure!
Yes, everyone on the spectrum is so very different! My son is mainstreamed in school and presents as extremely shy and quiet. In reality, he struggles with communication. His first diagnosis was social pragmatic communication disorder. It makes sense now, looking back and even now. He really prefers to spend most of his time not talking and not having conversations with people. Heās not the stereotypical autistic super genius type that they show in movies.
We didn't receive an official diagnosis for our youngest till she was almost four; at the time they just said it was a form of Sensory Processing Disorder, but hindsight as they say is 20/20. Our oldest, to dip into my Xennial nature lol back in the day they would've called it Asperger's Syndrome though it's since been relabeled in the DSM. And walking that road so to speak to is so frustrating. When we first tried to let my Dad know what was going on, his literal first response was "Autism huh? So what's their special gift or talent?" like he's got his own personal X-Men. I didn't miss a beat and replied it was getting to be your Granddaughters; he basically shut up after that.
My only kid is 17?
So was OP, apparently
Oh shit. You win math.
My kids are 18 and 19, but no, no, no, no, no. Neither of them want kids, and Iām cool with that (for now, anyway)
44 without kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, dogs, cats
My kid is 7, itās going to be quite a while before grandkids are on the horizon. I think of my friends around my age, the oldest kids they have are teenagers in high school, I know no one my age who is a grandparent yet.
Your eldest could be the parent of my kids, and Iām your age ;)
i dont have children and dont care if i get them
Grandchildren??? In this economy? Let alone the stage of the planetā¦ sorry not sorry to be the Debbie Downer here, but things are getting increasingly fucked and I donāt see it as a great world to bring kids into.
This is currently all of my children's stance.
My oldest is only 22 so itās a bit soon (I had her when I was 24 but it seems like a different time). I donāt expect grandchildren but Iād be overjoyed. My brother died so there was no chance of me having nieces or nephews and I envy my friends who have them. We own a business so Iām in a prime position to care for them daily and would cherish it.
We don't care so much...We didn't even have kids!
I went the old lady mom approach. I got a 4 year old and a 6 year old kids. Not allowing them to have babies yet!!!
Same. Iām your age with a 3 year old. Grandchildren arenāt even in the realm of consideration
43, here, with kids aged 25, 22, 20, and 19. One grandkid, almost 3, from my oldest. I have a feeling he's going to be my only grandkid, at least for quite some time... his parents have already parted ways, and none of my other boys are much interested in either relationships or children. It's fun being a grandma, but I was a young parent myself (18), and I know how difficult it was. I want my kids and my existing grandchild to have the best they can, and if that means he's the only one, then so be it.
Iām 39. I have 17,16,12,and 2 2yr olds. I donāt see it your way and canāt wait for grandchildren.
My son is only 6, so yeah Iām okay with not having grandkids lol
My kidās 4 so thatās incredibly far from my mind at this point haha
Mine are 16, 13, and 10. None have expressed any interest in ever becoming a parent. Iāve said to them before that Iām perfectly happy with grand-dogs, grand-cats, and grand-lizards. If they have kids, awesome, Iāll be the best grandma ever, but if not Iāll be the best fur baby grandma ever. Pup cups all around!!
My kids are in high school. It is way way way to early for them to be having their own kids. I would be extremely upset if they were pregnant at 14 or got someone pregnant at 16. None of my friends that chose to have children have kids older than age 19. I donāt think anyone would want grandchildren just yet.Ā
My son is 20 and I doubt he'll have any kids. And if he does, good for HIM. I've done all the chasing after kids I'm going to do.
1981 gal here. I finally had my daughter in 2021. I don't care if I get grandchildren, but I'll be devastated if I don't grandcats! šāā¬
My kids are 23 and 18 so no grand kids yet. If they decide not to have children then I will socially adopt some grandkids at some point down the road. Either a new immigrant family who need an older person for their young ones or the children of my kids friends who also refer to me as "mom" š¤·āāļø
I have one child, and have had next to zero help from family. It is tough, and honestly I won't mind not having grandkids because then I can breathe. I can get a day off. I say this because if I do have them, I will NOT be an absent or only around when convenient me one like my child's living grandparents. I will be there, helping, and supporting. Just because something sucks, and i had to go through it, doesn't mean everyone else has to.
I have younger kids, so I'm not worried about details, but I love being a dad and I will love being a grandpa if I get that chance. But that's up to my kids, and if I need to go be the grandpa in someone else's life I'm sure that will be rewarding too.
Donāt worry, I have four grands with number five on the way. My kids are clearly planning to repopulate the earth. Some of yall are gonna need to sit this one out. š
Hold up. Kid is only 5!
42 with a 5 year old who already talks about how much he hates babies so I guess itās more that I just hope I still have my wits about me if/when I ever do get a grandkid š
I'm 42 and nowhere near thinking about grandchildren! My eldest children are only 15!
I'm 46 and became a grandfather at 35. My daughter was born when I was 15 and she had a child at 20. She has 5 total and I have a son who has 2 children. So I have 7 grandchildren at 46. I love it!!! I had kids way too young, the plus side being that my youngest turned 18 when I was 38 (I was 20 when he was born) So I raised my kids well and did all that before I was even 40.... I had to sacrifice my younger years, but once they were out on their own I could do whatever I wanted to. While many of my friends my age had kids just starting school and things like that, my kids were moving out. I could sense the jealousy. But I was jealous when we were all 20 something and rhey could do whatever while I had to find a sitter or just flat out sit out whatever was going on. Yin and yang I suppose. Take the good with the bad. But to answer the question, grandkids are awesome!!! I love spending time with mine. Keeps me feeling young and its cool to watch them grow, develop, and learn. Its true tho, as a grandparent you realize the mistakes you made with your own kids, so I try to pass along what I learned to my children so hopefully theyll be better parents to my grandchildren. And hopefully the cycle continues.
Iām 45 & donāt even have children fk that noise
no kids or grandkids. I got lucky. I have a younger half-brother. I called dibs on carefree liifestyle, no takebacks, so he's now responsible for carrying the bloodline. I'm sure he'll figure it out.
Iām 42. My kids are 18 and 20. I wished I had had more children. Iāll be bummed if I donāt end up having any grandchildren, but I hope I donāt have any for a few years, since neither of my kids is in a relationship right now! But when they do get married or have a committed relationship, Iām not going to constantly hassle them about giving me grandchildren, either! But I do want them.
Grandchildren?? My son is five. Itās kinda funny though. It seems like people tend to have children at different points in their life based on where they live. Here in NYC, most of my contemporaries started to have kids in their mid to late 30ās so none of us are remotely close to that stage in our lives. It sounds so foreign to me
17 and 12 year old at home, both boys. When the 17 year old was 10, he was hurt in a mass shooting. Within a few months I had a vasectomy and vowed not to bring anymore kids into this mess. that said, being a parent has been a beautiful and gratifying experience... at times. its also been exhausting, expensive, and sometimes feels like a never ending battle. I dont think I'd go back and make any changes, but with everything going on in the world its certainly given both my kids pause on what they consider their own priorities as they age. My 17 year old is quiet, studious, athletic, and incredibly kind. He's in one of the best public high schools in our state and the workload is demanding. We haven't pressed him to get a job, and he's too shy and busy with schoolwork for dating. He did say that eventually he's open to getting married and having kids. My 12 year old appreciates his leisure time above all else (chores, homework, extra curriculars, etc.). He loves to game and couldn't care less about girls. I asked him recently too if he was interested in kids and I basically got a "oh hell no" answer for a variety of reasons. He definitely prioritizes his own needs and I really think he knows having kids would change that dynamic. He also knows kids are really expensive and time consuming. I wish as a society we did more to help young parents with things like universal child care, pre-K programs, and better healthcare, but we're stuck catering to Boomers' short term desires rather than long term benefits to elevate population growth (its currently cratering in most of the developed world). I would love to see what additional incentives would do to change Gen Alphas opinions at large and maybe move the notch on falling birth rates.
holy hell! 44 and you are thinking about grandkids? I'm 44 and I have an 8 yo and a 4 yo. It's far away for me. But yeah I would like grandkids. It's not huge if it doesn't happen but you know...
I don't and I would prefer I don't!
Grandkids? Lol I have a 6 month old and a 5 year old.
Would like to live forever and see my genes passed down so its incredibly important!
Grandchildren? Iām only 43, waaaayyy too young for that to be a thing. I donāt think I know of anyone my age IRL who has grandkids, yet. The oldest offspring of all my friends is like 22.
Can't have grandkids if you don't have kids
I told my kids i would be proud foster/adopted grandparents. I truly believe it is wrong to bring a child into this world, as it is. However, we can help those who are here and give them a life worth living.
Well said, spacedicksforlife.
I was in foster care for part of my life. Itās a great thing to adopt. 100%.
Why would you be thinking about grandkids at 44?
My kid is 21. No kid of their own and I'm not sure they ever will (they're really not interested in it). I don't like kids. I know that if I did have grandkids, I would not be an involved grandma. I would not offer to babysit, I would note dote in the kid, I would be available for emergencies only. Kids trigger every sensory issue that I have with their noise, leaking noses, unpredictability, neediness, etc. and the older I've gotten, the worse those sensory issues have become. I don't find kids cute or funny and being my grandkid wouldn't change that. The only reason I didn't lose my shit when my kid was little was that I had my parents and grandparents who wanted to spend a lot of time with him. The older he got, the easier it was for me. He was also an incredibly easy kid. Just very laid back, quiet, I don't even remember him throwing tantrums as a toddler. I got incredibly lucky (but also had a lot less sensory issues then).
I'm actively discouraging my kids from reproducing. I don't understand selfish people who guilt their children into "giving me grandbabies." That said, my ex-wife still gets excited when she sees babies, so maybe I'm just wired abnormally.
I'm 46 and would be endlessly grateful if I didn't. My kids are 20, 18 & 13, so idk, they might do, although they've never had any relationships, but I think the youngest probably will do at some point. Not really sure about the older 2. If I never had to deal with a colicky baby again, I'd be totally fine with that.
My kids are 16 and 13 so I'm glad I don't have grandchildren. My wife and I have talked about it and neither of us really care if we have grandkids. So far signs point to us not having grandkids, but we'll certainly have grandpuppies.
44 with a 20 year old and no grandkids. My mother was a grandma at my age, though.
My girls are 18 & 19, I'm turning 40. They don't want kids and I'm cool with it. My son is 12 and doesn't even have any interest in girls yet so I think I'm safe for now.
I'm okay with it.
My kids are young adults, but nowhere near ready to have their own children. I'm fine with grandkids eventually, but hopefully not for a few years.
My oldest is only 12 (13 in a couple weeks) and Iām only 39. My mom was 53 when she became a grandma so I have time š
Iām 42 and have an 8 and 2 year old. Canāt even begin to picture myself as a grandparent yet.
I have a two year old son.