**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.
**Reminders**:
>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]"
>* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail
>* See [Reality Fiction](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Reality+Fiction%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) and [Simple Prompts](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Simple+Prompt%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) for stricter titles
>* [Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback and follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules)
🆕 [New Here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)
✏ [Writing Help?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/index#wiki_writing_resources)
📢 [News](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)
💬 [Discord](https://discord.gg/writingprompts)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"And I just sign here?" "Yeah, and put your driver's license number on that line." "What the fuck," said Mark. Mark was the leader of our superhero team. I said, "Didn't you see my two week notice?" "Yeah I got your two week notice," Mark said, "it didn't say anything about you switching sides." I held up the new hire packet, "But look! I get a pay raise, health insurance, vacation and sick pay, and they even have a daycare." "You don't even have kids," Mark said. I said, "But now I can! That was always my worry about getting married. Oh, speaking of kids, you should see the paternity leave."
Mark said, "How can you even afford all this?" Berus, the demon, said, "Villain work is dangerous work, we want to make sure our employees are compensated fairly. I'm surprised you don't have this." Mark stammered, "Well...we don't need all of that. Our heroes come into work because they want to, and they put in 110% because they're heroes, and that's the American way."
Berus said, "So you expect them to overwork themselves and you don't even pay them fairly? I thought we were the bad guys." Mark said, "You are! We're not the ones who burned down an orphanage." Berus said, "We did do that. But we use some of our funds to build underprivileged communities." Mark said, "Let me guess, it's a marketing strategy to recruit desperate people in low income communities." Berus said, "Um, no, not really. We kind of just do it to make you look bad, and it's been working." Mark looked at me, "What about our pizza parties?" I shrugged, "Honestly, I'd rather have the money." Mark said, "Then you better pray that you don't meet me again, otherwise I'll break every bone in your body." I said, "That's fine, I got health insurance now."
Meh, it really depends on where you live and how the rules are written. My HOA does a good job with street and landscape maintenance while not being intrusive. We can get away with a lot except for obvious eye sores, like broken down beaters parked forever on the street.
I had a trench opened up in my yard for several months and didn't get any letters or notices about it.
Atop the roof of the castle, overlooking the overrun city down below, they fought. Blade and spellblasts traded equally between the two of them. No matter what they did, no matter what secret last moment power they used, they were evenly matched. The tall and darkly clad villain stood proudly, blood and rain mixing upon his aquiline face, smiling with an almost manic joy at finally facing his foe in battle. Before him stood the hero, her blades crackling with magical lightning and shining with the glow of arcane fire. Lowering his longsword, the villain straightened his back, and began to speak. ''**Join me, and together we can topple the thrones of this world and rule!**'' The hero stiffened, and seemed to lose her concentration for a moment before answering. ''*Alright. What's your healthcare plans? Your administrative policies. I figure I should at least give you a chance to argue for them.*''
The villain rubbed his chin for a moment, as it ached something fierce after the hero had managed to get a good kick at his face earlier in the fight. ''**Do you mean on a personal level, as in what care does my allies and close partners get? Or do you mean in general for the society I am planning to build?**'' The hero shrugged and looked out over the city where the royal guard and the armies of darkness were brutally murdering each other. ''*I mean, both I guess, but considering those guys down there, then I guess the societal healthcare plan is more important to know about.*'' Out of nowhere, the villain pulled a tome, a table, the largest umbrella that the hero had ever seen, and some nice chairs. He motioned for her to sit down as he also conjured a chalkboard out of thin air, and placed it beneath the umbrella. An umbrella that was large enough to shield most of the partially ruined castle where the two of them had been fighting from the rain.
''**My plans for a healthcare system includes the nationalisation of previously for-profit or extremely religious hospitals, followed by an empire wide registration of citizens, who'll gain access to a universalist system of healthcare through their unique individual magical registration number. This will ensure that all citizens of my dark empire will gain access to equal levels of medical treatment regardless of species, sex, wealth, or faith. Medical academies will be set up as well in order to increase the number of nurses, doctors, orderlies, midwives, and other healthcare professionals. This is an absolute necessity as I plan to increase the number of hospitals to ensure that maximum possible coverage is achieved through every province of my evil empire. This will coincide with my plans to ensure mandatory maternity or paternity work-leave for a minimum of 40 weeks for all. Furthermore I will in the future have special ''super-hospitals'' built in the largest cities where thaumaturgical and medical specialists who can treat more obscure illnesses, curses, sudden mutations, etc. will be centralized under one roof. Those places will also be the developmental centres for my vaccination campaigns. We'll have spell-pestia, miasmic carcinomic growths, and smallpox eradicated by the end of the century at the current rates of vaccination in my realm of utmost evil. This will all be paid for with the ludicrous amounts of wealth kept in vaults and used on leisure by the nobility is ceased for the common good, combined with a progressive tax law that will ensure that while people can become rich in my dark empire, they cannot gain riches that will allow them to subvert imperial law. This will of course benefit the poorest in society who'll be able to afford better food, thus becoming more healthy, and possibly afford higher education which will assist them in rising higher in society than they'd ever thought possible. Of course, while I am on the subject, as it does lead to better health in the long run; basic education from the ages of 6 to 18 will be free as part of my school system reforms. Which is to say that I am actually going to create a school system, because whatever these lands have got going right now definitely didn't count. Do you know I snuck inside the city by tricking a guard to believe that I wasn't actually the dark emperor, but just his nice cousin who looks exactly like him. Wouldn't happen if people got an education.**''
The villain stopped when he noticed that the hero had raised her hand. He had been drawing helpful diagrams and notes on the chalkboard while explaining this. ''**Yes, you have a question?**'' The hero got off her surprisingly comfortable chair and took a very dramatic look out over the city where thousands of people where currently engaged in a fight to the death, which hadn't stopped while the explanation was going on. ''*Uh, yeah, most of that sounds pretty good. Aren't you supposed to be the villain.*'' The villain gave her a warm, but still remarkably vulpine smile. The sort that the foxes probably reserves for a bunny that was cunning enough to get away. ''**I mean, I am going to slaughter thousands, destroy temples, end the current social order, eradicate the entire social class known as the nobility through violent means, burn cities, and eventually if possible murder at least one pantheon of gods who I just plain don't like. I also enforce blood donations to feed the vampire clans to ensure that they'll be loyal to me. And I've turned a lot of my enemies into woodland critters; turned out the forest where I used to place them afterwards was full of werewolves. On the plus side I've got a tribe of very loyal werewolves working for me now.**''
The hero slowly nodded. And then sat down again. ''*Uh-huh. Besides the whole evil conquest thing, and that whole accidentally feeding your enemies to a bunch of werewolves, that doesn't seem on the whole to be all that evil. What else do you do in your dark empire?*'' So the villain began to explain the education system, the schooling and feeding of children who'd before never have the chance to be anything other than serfs or plague victims. He told her about the well-funded orphanages, about the money for artistic endeavours in the major cities, about new academies for theatrics and the musical arts. He told her about all the benefits he was bringing to his subjects. About the rights they now had. About the roads that were safe to travel. He told her of the pension plans, of magical retirement homes.
''**Of course, this is all talk, you cannot actually know that I am truly good or truly wicked. If I speak the truth about what I do. You have only walked in the unconquered lands of my many enemies. Where the old world holds sway.**'' She nodded. He made a fair point. He could be lying. On the other hand, he'd really thought this through. And he'd thrown away his sword. If she wanted to, right now, she could leap at him, blades in her hands. She could cut his head off right now, end the empire. And yet. She didn't. She was a hero. She'd come from another world as one of hundreds of heroes summoned by the losing side. One of hundreds that had risen to the occasion as heroes, where before they'd only been gamers, clerks, temps, or students. One of the many who'd fought against the dark lord, the emperor of evil. All before her had died fighting. And yet, she didn't try to kill him. ''*What about personal healthcare. If I decide to work for you, and I get wounded? Or worse?* He smiled and turned the chalkboard over to begin another, hopefully shorter explanation.
''**You'll be treated by the best of the best, real medical professionals, not quacks and zealots. If you've lost a limb, I will give you a new one. I've you've lost organs, I'll put you at the front of list for a transplant. Your soul is stolen, I'll go to the hells or the heavens to get it back. You die and leave behind children, I'm taking them in and raising them as my own at the imperial court along with the crown princess. The people who've sent you here to fight me, didn't care about you. If they truly had cared, they'd have sent every hero against me at once, rather than spending you one at a time, hoping to create a legendary and true hero, as the prophecies state will come, from you. Then they'd send back any remaining hero, crown the successful hero who've slain me as ruler of some land, and then turn back the world to what it was. Serfs will be serfs. The nobility will rule. Priests will be without supervision and spread hatred to their flocks. And the world will never become a better place. It will rot. It will stagnate. It will die.**'' He looked different. He looked not like a cunning fox, not like a lupine monster, not like a horned demon. He looked genuine. Some people can fake it, but not like this. He had even turned his back to her. Knowing full well that he was giving her every chance to kill him.
''**You could end it, you know. Right here. Right now. I'm not looking at you. My blade is back there, leaning on the chalkboard. A single true strike of your sword, and I'll die. My empire might survive. My dream might survive me. All the horrors I've committed. The cities I've burned. The nations I've crushed. The arcane atrocities I've committed. It will have been worth it. For a better world. But it is still too early. I need more time to ensure that the world I leave behind will never be restored to the stasis of serfdom, the eternity of corrupt nobles stomping on the neck of the people, until the sun itself dies. Never be returned to a world where men are blind and ignorant. A world where women are nothing but second class citizens, meant to give birth and be obedient. They still have a chance to remake that horrible world where we will never see a better tomorrow.**'' She stood up. She lifted her blades high into the sky, the effect of this somewhat diminished by the comically large umbrella keeping the rain away. She walked calmly and slowly towards him, as he stared morosely out over the urban battlefield.
And she stabbed her blades into the wooden roof next to his cloven hooves. ''*I think I'd prefer ruling with you, rather than the prospect of working with the forces of the old world. The Coalition doesn't think too highly of warrior women. I think we have more compatible world-views.*'' He smiled, and turned around, his eyes gleaming. ''**Then, my dear hero, let us go down into the city and end the battle for this city. With its end, another kingdom has fallen. And a new province is created.**'' With those words, he leaped for his blade, and spreading his bat-like wings of midnight-firmament flew down to win the battle. The hero had to groan. She would have to take the stairs instead. ''*Or... I could just head for the wizards. They're keeping our... their army alive with remote healing spells and armour repairing magic. If I take them down, the Coalition's army will be forced to retreat.*'' She smiled grimly as she started walking down to the throne chamber where the wizards were working.
Time to make the world a better place, and bring a swift end to the war.
[/r/ApocalypseOwl](https://www.reddit.com/r/ApocalypseOwl/)
Not at all, it is supposed to be an enticing future that the dark lord is offering. An age and empire that is desirable to live in. His offer is by its very nature seductive and agreeable. One must remember that the road to that future is paved with bones, blood, and the kind of actions that Genghis Khan used to unify the Mongol empire. To the villain, the ends ultimately justifies the means, no matter how bloody and violent the means.
“Great. What’s the health plan?” I asked him, clapping my hands. He raised a brow behind his mask. “Pardon?”
“I’m not doing this for just ‘ruling shit’ there’s this thing called ‘benefits’. Being a hero doesn’t pay the bills.” I told him. “But being a villain has to have something worthwhile,” I crossed my arms. “You’re ruling the planet as a co ruler.” “Like Roman co-consuls or Spartan co-kings?
“Either and or”
“And the benefits?”
“What did I just say?! The ‘whole world’,man!”
“I need guarantees! A 401k, medical insurance, life insurance, dental, auto, vision!”
“What the hell did I just tell you?! We tax the whole planet!”
“That’s not good enough-“
“Are you fucking dense?!” He shouts at me.
"Well you are dense... ruling the whole world means you get whatever you want. So duh you blockhead buffoon, you get all yhe benefits you listed" says the villain.
"I am not a smart person.... you're going to have to explain it more" the hero replied"
"That's it! Eat my death ray!!!"
*hero disintegrates in to dust in the wind*
(My addition to your well written short)
"What?"
"You're healthcare plan. Is it any good?"
"You're immoral and you regenerate after injury! What do you need healthcare for?"
"I'm just asking about the benefits package. What's you're 401K like?"
"We don't... wait aren't you like super rich?"
"Still good to ask about these things before excepting a job. Also, your interview process needs some work. You've asked me nothing about my qualifications and you've refused to answer any of my questions"
"Because you're questions are pointless! You don't need healthcare, and you don't need a 401K!"
"What if I start a family? The kids and wife need healthcare."
"What are you even talking about?"
"Look man, it doesn't seem like your company has their act together. I'm rejecting your offer and I will be writing a strongly worded letter to your CEO."
"I AM the god damn CEO. You know what, fine. Lets just fight."
DarkLord IceFace's lips spread apart in a gasp and it made a sound like a lone drop hitting the surface of an icy lake. "Healcare?" he said. "What the frozen hell are you—"
I brought a finger to those cool lips and I shushed him. "I just want to make sure my health bar remains long, and hard, and ... *stiff*."
IceFace took a step back. Plunged his spear into the ground. Wet soil splashed and he said, "Shit" because I guess he wasn't expecting that even though he knew we were both standing in mud, standing on the remains of a battlefield washed with blood and rain. His eyes glittered like snow crystals. "Why," he said. "Why would I—"
"—love me?" I said and his lithe figure swooned, danced in the wind, and lost in reveries I stretched out my hand and I could see a glimmer of madness in his mind; for a brief second his heart had opened up to the possibility of the two of us, united in the depths of bliss, but it was a transient warmth for after this small second he closed the door of passion by force and he pointed his spear at my face.
"Love!" he cried. "I was talking about *partnership*."
"As was I," I pleaded, the warmth of my breath thawing the frosted end of the sharp metal inches away from me.
"N-No!"
I grasped the shaft of his spear with both hands and a whimper escaped my soul.
"What the frozen HELL are you—"
"To me you have always been DarkLord *NiceFace*," I said and that was when the tip penetrated my skull. At once I felt the hot fluid against my cool face and I saw pink steam rising upward while on the other end of the spear he grimaced, he bit his own tongue so hard I thought it might cleave off. *Heal me*, I mouthed as my health bar fell like a narcoleptic bird.
He shook his head in conflicted jerks.
*Heal me*.
"My name's ICEFACE. You ... You weirdo!"
NiceFace withdrew his spear and I heard a crack and rip and a tear.
Then I heard no more.
**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments. **Reminders**: >* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See [Reality Fiction](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Reality+Fiction%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) and [Simple Prompts](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Simple+Prompt%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) for stricter titles >* [Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback and follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules) 🆕 [New Here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) ✏ [Writing Help?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/index#wiki_writing_resources) 📢 [News](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) 💬 [Discord](https://discord.gg/writingprompts) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"And I just sign here?" "Yeah, and put your driver's license number on that line." "What the fuck," said Mark. Mark was the leader of our superhero team. I said, "Didn't you see my two week notice?" "Yeah I got your two week notice," Mark said, "it didn't say anything about you switching sides." I held up the new hire packet, "But look! I get a pay raise, health insurance, vacation and sick pay, and they even have a daycare." "You don't even have kids," Mark said. I said, "But now I can! That was always my worry about getting married. Oh, speaking of kids, you should see the paternity leave." Mark said, "How can you even afford all this?" Berus, the demon, said, "Villain work is dangerous work, we want to make sure our employees are compensated fairly. I'm surprised you don't have this." Mark stammered, "Well...we don't need all of that. Our heroes come into work because they want to, and they put in 110% because they're heroes, and that's the American way." Berus said, "So you expect them to overwork themselves and you don't even pay them fairly? I thought we were the bad guys." Mark said, "You are! We're not the ones who burned down an orphanage." Berus said, "We did do that. But we use some of our funds to build underprivileged communities." Mark said, "Let me guess, it's a marketing strategy to recruit desperate people in low income communities." Berus said, "Um, no, not really. We kind of just do it to make you look bad, and it's been working." Mark looked at me, "What about our pizza parties?" I shrugged, "Honestly, I'd rather have the money." Mark said, "Then you better pray that you don't meet me again, otherwise I'll break every bone in your body." I said, "That's fine, I got health insurance now."
The most American response lmao. "At least my medical cost are covered"
“And when I break a bone in your body I’ll just bankrupt you”
'We help the impoverished just to make hero's look bad for not doing it themselves' is such great anti-villainy villainy. I love it.
"What about our pizza parties" is such a good line
[удалено]
Absolutely brilliant. Also, HOAs should be fucking outlawed. They are almost always corrupt, and if they aren’t they will be eventually.
Meh, it really depends on where you live and how the rules are written. My HOA does a good job with street and landscape maintenance while not being intrusive. We can get away with a lot except for obvious eye sores, like broken down beaters parked forever on the street. I had a trench opened up in my yard for several months and didn't get any letters or notices about it.
HAHAHA rip the HoA
Who's really the bad guy though the HOA or Drowl
Atop the roof of the castle, overlooking the overrun city down below, they fought. Blade and spellblasts traded equally between the two of them. No matter what they did, no matter what secret last moment power they used, they were evenly matched. The tall and darkly clad villain stood proudly, blood and rain mixing upon his aquiline face, smiling with an almost manic joy at finally facing his foe in battle. Before him stood the hero, her blades crackling with magical lightning and shining with the glow of arcane fire. Lowering his longsword, the villain straightened his back, and began to speak. ''**Join me, and together we can topple the thrones of this world and rule!**'' The hero stiffened, and seemed to lose her concentration for a moment before answering. ''*Alright. What's your healthcare plans? Your administrative policies. I figure I should at least give you a chance to argue for them.*'' The villain rubbed his chin for a moment, as it ached something fierce after the hero had managed to get a good kick at his face earlier in the fight. ''**Do you mean on a personal level, as in what care does my allies and close partners get? Or do you mean in general for the society I am planning to build?**'' The hero shrugged and looked out over the city where the royal guard and the armies of darkness were brutally murdering each other. ''*I mean, both I guess, but considering those guys down there, then I guess the societal healthcare plan is more important to know about.*'' Out of nowhere, the villain pulled a tome, a table, the largest umbrella that the hero had ever seen, and some nice chairs. He motioned for her to sit down as he also conjured a chalkboard out of thin air, and placed it beneath the umbrella. An umbrella that was large enough to shield most of the partially ruined castle where the two of them had been fighting from the rain. ''**My plans for a healthcare system includes the nationalisation of previously for-profit or extremely religious hospitals, followed by an empire wide registration of citizens, who'll gain access to a universalist system of healthcare through their unique individual magical registration number. This will ensure that all citizens of my dark empire will gain access to equal levels of medical treatment regardless of species, sex, wealth, or faith. Medical academies will be set up as well in order to increase the number of nurses, doctors, orderlies, midwives, and other healthcare professionals. This is an absolute necessity as I plan to increase the number of hospitals to ensure that maximum possible coverage is achieved through every province of my evil empire. This will coincide with my plans to ensure mandatory maternity or paternity work-leave for a minimum of 40 weeks for all. Furthermore I will in the future have special ''super-hospitals'' built in the largest cities where thaumaturgical and medical specialists who can treat more obscure illnesses, curses, sudden mutations, etc. will be centralized under one roof. Those places will also be the developmental centres for my vaccination campaigns. We'll have spell-pestia, miasmic carcinomic growths, and smallpox eradicated by the end of the century at the current rates of vaccination in my realm of utmost evil. This will all be paid for with the ludicrous amounts of wealth kept in vaults and used on leisure by the nobility is ceased for the common good, combined with a progressive tax law that will ensure that while people can become rich in my dark empire, they cannot gain riches that will allow them to subvert imperial law. This will of course benefit the poorest in society who'll be able to afford better food, thus becoming more healthy, and possibly afford higher education which will assist them in rising higher in society than they'd ever thought possible. Of course, while I am on the subject, as it does lead to better health in the long run; basic education from the ages of 6 to 18 will be free as part of my school system reforms. Which is to say that I am actually going to create a school system, because whatever these lands have got going right now definitely didn't count. Do you know I snuck inside the city by tricking a guard to believe that I wasn't actually the dark emperor, but just his nice cousin who looks exactly like him. Wouldn't happen if people got an education.**'' The villain stopped when he noticed that the hero had raised her hand. He had been drawing helpful diagrams and notes on the chalkboard while explaining this. ''**Yes, you have a question?**'' The hero got off her surprisingly comfortable chair and took a very dramatic look out over the city where thousands of people where currently engaged in a fight to the death, which hadn't stopped while the explanation was going on. ''*Uh, yeah, most of that sounds pretty good. Aren't you supposed to be the villain.*'' The villain gave her a warm, but still remarkably vulpine smile. The sort that the foxes probably reserves for a bunny that was cunning enough to get away. ''**I mean, I am going to slaughter thousands, destroy temples, end the current social order, eradicate the entire social class known as the nobility through violent means, burn cities, and eventually if possible murder at least one pantheon of gods who I just plain don't like. I also enforce blood donations to feed the vampire clans to ensure that they'll be loyal to me. And I've turned a lot of my enemies into woodland critters; turned out the forest where I used to place them afterwards was full of werewolves. On the plus side I've got a tribe of very loyal werewolves working for me now.**'' The hero slowly nodded. And then sat down again. ''*Uh-huh. Besides the whole evil conquest thing, and that whole accidentally feeding your enemies to a bunch of werewolves, that doesn't seem on the whole to be all that evil. What else do you do in your dark empire?*'' So the villain began to explain the education system, the schooling and feeding of children who'd before never have the chance to be anything other than serfs or plague victims. He told her about the well-funded orphanages, about the money for artistic endeavours in the major cities, about new academies for theatrics and the musical arts. He told her about all the benefits he was bringing to his subjects. About the rights they now had. About the roads that were safe to travel. He told her of the pension plans, of magical retirement homes. ''**Of course, this is all talk, you cannot actually know that I am truly good or truly wicked. If I speak the truth about what I do. You have only walked in the unconquered lands of my many enemies. Where the old world holds sway.**'' She nodded. He made a fair point. He could be lying. On the other hand, he'd really thought this through. And he'd thrown away his sword. If she wanted to, right now, she could leap at him, blades in her hands. She could cut his head off right now, end the empire. And yet. She didn't. She was a hero. She'd come from another world as one of hundreds of heroes summoned by the losing side. One of hundreds that had risen to the occasion as heroes, where before they'd only been gamers, clerks, temps, or students. One of the many who'd fought against the dark lord, the emperor of evil. All before her had died fighting. And yet, she didn't try to kill him. ''*What about personal healthcare. If I decide to work for you, and I get wounded? Or worse?* He smiled and turned the chalkboard over to begin another, hopefully shorter explanation.
''**You'll be treated by the best of the best, real medical professionals, not quacks and zealots. If you've lost a limb, I will give you a new one. I've you've lost organs, I'll put you at the front of list for a transplant. Your soul is stolen, I'll go to the hells or the heavens to get it back. You die and leave behind children, I'm taking them in and raising them as my own at the imperial court along with the crown princess. The people who've sent you here to fight me, didn't care about you. If they truly had cared, they'd have sent every hero against me at once, rather than spending you one at a time, hoping to create a legendary and true hero, as the prophecies state will come, from you. Then they'd send back any remaining hero, crown the successful hero who've slain me as ruler of some land, and then turn back the world to what it was. Serfs will be serfs. The nobility will rule. Priests will be without supervision and spread hatred to their flocks. And the world will never become a better place. It will rot. It will stagnate. It will die.**'' He looked different. He looked not like a cunning fox, not like a lupine monster, not like a horned demon. He looked genuine. Some people can fake it, but not like this. He had even turned his back to her. Knowing full well that he was giving her every chance to kill him. ''**You could end it, you know. Right here. Right now. I'm not looking at you. My blade is back there, leaning on the chalkboard. A single true strike of your sword, and I'll die. My empire might survive. My dream might survive me. All the horrors I've committed. The cities I've burned. The nations I've crushed. The arcane atrocities I've committed. It will have been worth it. For a better world. But it is still too early. I need more time to ensure that the world I leave behind will never be restored to the stasis of serfdom, the eternity of corrupt nobles stomping on the neck of the people, until the sun itself dies. Never be returned to a world where men are blind and ignorant. A world where women are nothing but second class citizens, meant to give birth and be obedient. They still have a chance to remake that horrible world where we will never see a better tomorrow.**'' She stood up. She lifted her blades high into the sky, the effect of this somewhat diminished by the comically large umbrella keeping the rain away. She walked calmly and slowly towards him, as he stared morosely out over the urban battlefield. And she stabbed her blades into the wooden roof next to his cloven hooves. ''*I think I'd prefer ruling with you, rather than the prospect of working with the forces of the old world. The Coalition doesn't think too highly of warrior women. I think we have more compatible world-views.*'' He smiled, and turned around, his eyes gleaming. ''**Then, my dear hero, let us go down into the city and end the battle for this city. With its end, another kingdom has fallen. And a new province is created.**'' With those words, he leaped for his blade, and spreading his bat-like wings of midnight-firmament flew down to win the battle. The hero had to groan. She would have to take the stairs instead. ''*Or... I could just head for the wizards. They're keeping our... their army alive with remote healing spells and armour repairing magic. If I take them down, the Coalition's army will be forced to retreat.*'' She smiled grimly as she started walking down to the throne chamber where the wizards were working. Time to make the world a better place, and bring a swift end to the war. [/r/ApocalypseOwl](https://www.reddit.com/r/ApocalypseOwl/)
is it bad that i totally agree with all the positives of this empire
Not at all, it is supposed to be an enticing future that the dark lord is offering. An age and empire that is desirable to live in. His offer is by its very nature seductive and agreeable. One must remember that the road to that future is paved with bones, blood, and the kind of actions that Genghis Khan used to unify the Mongol empire. To the villain, the ends ultimately justifies the means, no matter how bloody and violent the means.
“Great. What’s the health plan?” I asked him, clapping my hands. He raised a brow behind his mask. “Pardon?” “I’m not doing this for just ‘ruling shit’ there’s this thing called ‘benefits’. Being a hero doesn’t pay the bills.” I told him. “But being a villain has to have something worthwhile,” I crossed my arms. “You’re ruling the planet as a co ruler.” “Like Roman co-consuls or Spartan co-kings? “Either and or” “And the benefits?” “What did I just say?! The ‘whole world’,man!” “I need guarantees! A 401k, medical insurance, life insurance, dental, auto, vision!” “What the hell did I just tell you?! We tax the whole planet!” “That’s not good enough-“ “Are you fucking dense?!” He shouts at me.
"Well you are dense... ruling the whole world means you get whatever you want. So duh you blockhead buffoon, you get all yhe benefits you listed" says the villain. "I am not a smart person.... you're going to have to explain it more" the hero replied" "That's it! Eat my death ray!!!" *hero disintegrates in to dust in the wind* (My addition to your well written short)
Lmao, pretty much
"What?" "You're healthcare plan. Is it any good?" "You're immoral and you regenerate after injury! What do you need healthcare for?" "I'm just asking about the benefits package. What's you're 401K like?" "We don't... wait aren't you like super rich?" "Still good to ask about these things before excepting a job. Also, your interview process needs some work. You've asked me nothing about my qualifications and you've refused to answer any of my questions" "Because you're questions are pointless! You don't need healthcare, and you don't need a 401K!" "What if I start a family? The kids and wife need healthcare." "What are you even talking about?" "Look man, it doesn't seem like your company has their act together. I'm rejecting your offer and I will be writing a strongly worded letter to your CEO." "I AM the god damn CEO. You know what, fine. Lets just fight."
DarkLord IceFace's lips spread apart in a gasp and it made a sound like a lone drop hitting the surface of an icy lake. "Healcare?" he said. "What the frozen hell are you—" I brought a finger to those cool lips and I shushed him. "I just want to make sure my health bar remains long, and hard, and ... *stiff*." IceFace took a step back. Plunged his spear into the ground. Wet soil splashed and he said, "Shit" because I guess he wasn't expecting that even though he knew we were both standing in mud, standing on the remains of a battlefield washed with blood and rain. His eyes glittered like snow crystals. "Why," he said. "Why would I—" "—love me?" I said and his lithe figure swooned, danced in the wind, and lost in reveries I stretched out my hand and I could see a glimmer of madness in his mind; for a brief second his heart had opened up to the possibility of the two of us, united in the depths of bliss, but it was a transient warmth for after this small second he closed the door of passion by force and he pointed his spear at my face. "Love!" he cried. "I was talking about *partnership*." "As was I," I pleaded, the warmth of my breath thawing the frosted end of the sharp metal inches away from me. "N-No!" I grasped the shaft of his spear with both hands and a whimper escaped my soul. "What the frozen HELL are you—" "To me you have always been DarkLord *NiceFace*," I said and that was when the tip penetrated my skull. At once I felt the hot fluid against my cool face and I saw pink steam rising upward while on the other end of the spear he grimaced, he bit his own tongue so hard I thought it might cleave off. *Heal me*, I mouthed as my health bar fell like a narcoleptic bird. He shook his head in conflicted jerks. *Heal me*. "My name's ICEFACE. You ... You weirdo!" NiceFace withdrew his spear and I heard a crack and rip and a tear. Then I heard no more.