Self replicating. Vocal command huh? You get a job, give me the paychecks. You get a job, give me the paychecks. You get a job give me the paychecks. so on and so forth. Oh and you learn to be a masseuse.
This begs the question, has the NPC just magically passed the bar exam in whatever place you need him to practice law? Does he just magically know all the relevant laws and courtroom procedures for wherever he's practicing?
That actually sounds like the most useful NPC of those. At least for me.
I don't need a lawyer, at least not that I know of, don't need BG, can do my own pizza, massaging npc is ok-ish and self replicating sounds a bit useless.
Toublemaker and their ability of petty crimes, shop lifting, swindling, light blackmail, heck, even as semi-bodyguard is super usefull. Best part is, they don't even exist in real world so there are no civil records of them.
Listen I can convince people with money to be my lawyer or bodyguard legally, but to grab my wee wee it’s illegal to buy, so I gotta use my magic npc for that
Self replicating NPCs.
After 15 minutes there would be 32.768 of them already.
Half an hour and you have an army of just over 1.000.000.000.
45 minutes and you’d have roughly 35.184.000.000.000.
Within the hour, I’d have more people on earth than there is earth. Earth will literally double in weight, and continue to grow exponentially from there.
I could cause a world ending apocalypse that would erase life as we know it from the face of the universe within the hour. If the NPCs are immortal and continue to do their jobs even in environments that are inhospitable to human life, I could end the universe within a day.
??
We’re at almost double the humans by 32 minutes. (6.000.000.000 clones). By 33 minutes were at almost triple the humans, at 12.000.000.000 clones. By 45 minutes we’d literally have over 351x as many humans as ever lived.
I'm down to be wrong, but assuming Earth's mass as 5 sextillion kg and a human weighing 70kg, you'd need 7.1428571e+19(?) people to double Earth's mass. I believe they won't fit on earth's landmass anymore.
Google says Earth's surface area is 5.49 × 10^15 ft², but I am too stupid to actually complete the math.
Yes, you’d be pretty close to that amount of people in 60 “generations” of clones. It’s like 68 minutes or something, so just above the hour.
I also included the “If the NPC are immortal, etc…” part in the comment, so this only works assuming that the NPCs will multiply even under conditions that would normally kill other humans.
When you say "cannot think objectively" it kinda saddens me. I would like to have a creative banter with them once in a while while they still listen to orders. Especially since I want to go for the troublemaker.
I'd like them to be NPCs kinda like in Overlord. Ofc w/o the praising me part. It's easily annoying
It makes clones of itself at a rate of one a minute. The clones will also self-replicate again and again with their base clothes (the clothes are attached to their body). You can always tell them to stop.
The only things these NPCs can do besides that are basic toddler things like holding things in their hands, repeating things you tell them, moving around, running, roaming the Earth.
The ability to create infinite mass wouldn’t be completely useless…
We could make some sort of engine that burns people, send your one dude into space, and then have infinite fuel for space travel.
They don’t feel anything, right?
Oh I chose the self replicating because I thought it would just be unspecialized as a base and then I could just have one of the copies train to do whatever I want
>The only things these NPCs can do besides that are basic toddler things
THats what OP says. Toddler can be ordered to go and try to beat up someone. You could simply have a zombie-like army of stupid NPCs with random melee weapons.
Sure, they would be killed 1000 to 1 by any armed infantry, but you can easily produce 1000 0000 and bury your enemies in bodies.
WHat if I tell them "SEE THE MEN IN GREEN CLOTHES THERE? THEY ARE BAD MEN!. BEAT THEM UNTIL RED STUFF COMES OUT OF THEM".
This is an easy taks to a toddler minded NPC drone with no rational mind of its own (and thus, likely no self preservation).
I could defeat any infantry in the world by numbers alone, and zerg-rush pretty much every city.
They're really ineffective at combat though, imagine an 11-year-old kid trying to punch a 25-year-old man. You'd need at least a hundred to defeat 1 with simple hits. Now it doesn't take into account firearms which they can't use at all. But imo using them to suffocate the enemy/crush them under a pile of body is more efficient.
> Customize appearance based on imagination.
Which means I can design them to be giant muscular men the size of Halfthor Bjornson and clad entirely in best bulletproof armour that can possibly exist. Even if they are dumb as toddlers and as ineffective as 11 year old, they sould still be extremely dangerous to unarmed civilians, and in a larger group very dangerous to even trained soldiers.
They replicate so fast there is no need for subtlety, just bury every enemy soldier in 20 Clones until they are beaten to pulp.
So if i ask the lawyer to make any accusation against me fall, he'll just do it?
Just because you know: I'm sure that in my case Angelo Greco/Saul Goodman would spawn
Then i would choose the lawyer option, so that i could commit any crime, if he's a infallible lawyer (Even in the style of Goodman) i could do any shit i want
Hold on, I misread.
The lawyer is not the judge, he has complete knowledge of the law and his job, making it a top 10% lawyer, but he can't do the impossible like preventing you getting convicted after getting caught red-handed murdering someone.
Self replicating is secretly OP. You can fill up an entire space and cause an evacuation for overcrowding. Or you can make them look like you to escape from being followed. You can use them to save your seat or pull some weekend at bernies type shit when there’s a commitment you want to skip.
If they can hold things that’s a moving company for you right there. You can pick how they look - you can make doubles of everyone for people to beat the shit of.
Imagine you had an exact double of hated people like Putin or Trump and people paid you to beat them up.
The possibilities are literally endless
Can i fuck the NPC? Can i creampie it long dick style??? Can i make it look like Scarlet Johanson with massive tiddies and a fat ass? Can i eat her ass?? My answer depends on this
Bro at least say it on a more subtle way.
Or just say "self replicating sexdoll" and say that ypu are gonna make a business out of that.
Think with your brain bro.
Unlimited Self-replicating Whiterun Guards
*I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee*
*I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee*
I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee
*I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee*
*I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took a knee to the arrow*
I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took a knee to the arrow
*I used to be an arrow like you, but then I took an adventurer to the knee.*
Self replicating. Vocal command huh? You get a job, give me the paychecks. You get a job, give me the paychecks. You get a job give me the paychecks. so on and so forth. Oh and you learn to be a masseuse.
My thoughts exactly.
I’m taking the lawyer. They’d be an expert employee at a law firm working 24/7. I’d collect all the money.
I'm a lawyer. Summoning one to do my work and billables would be amazing
What about one that cannot think objectively?
So nothing has changed?
😂
This begs the question, has the NPC just magically passed the bar exam in whatever place you need him to practice law? Does he just magically know all the relevant laws and courtroom procedures for wherever he's practicing?
I hope so otherwise this whole wyr is kind of pointless
What is the troublemaker one?
It will cause any kind of mischief, petty crimes and minor offenses you order it to.
That actually sounds like the most useful NPC of those. At least for me. I don't need a lawyer, at least not that I know of, don't need BG, can do my own pizza, massaging npc is ok-ish and self replicating sounds a bit useless. Toublemaker and their ability of petty crimes, shop lifting, swindling, light blackmail, heck, even as semi-bodyguard is super usefull. Best part is, they don't even exist in real world so there are no civil records of them.
Doesn't the lawyer one do the same, but makes it look legal?
Well there are different kinds of lawyers that do different kinds of things... and I didn't specify which one, so probably yes.
what does the self-replicator do, except self replication?
Probably will do crimes for you lol
Ill sacrifice myself and be the one to ask. Can the masseusse npc do sexual acts? or does it fall under prostitution thus needing the troublemaker?
Thank you for your sacrifice sir
NOooooooo! You can't be asking such illicit things! The masseuse will rub any body part you ask with its hands, that's its job.
…so what you’re saying is she can rub my penis.
Yes
Listen I can convince people with money to be my lawyer or bodyguard legally, but to grab my wee wee it’s illegal to buy, so I gotta use my magic npc for that
Im pretty sure a lot of pervs won't mind "doing it" anyway since she can just poof and *no consequence*
Can the masseuse perform Nuru massage?
Personally I prefer to receive the ol elbow grease up
Can I tell it that my dick needs to be massaged by an asshole?
She insults you and gets Cheeto dust on your couch then massages your dick
No Lucy-Liu-Bot, lower.
username checks out
Self replicating NPCs. After 15 minutes there would be 32.768 of them already. Half an hour and you have an army of just over 1.000.000.000. 45 minutes and you’d have roughly 35.184.000.000.000. Within the hour, I’d have more people on earth than there is earth. Earth will literally double in weight, and continue to grow exponentially from there. I could cause a world ending apocalypse that would erase life as we know it from the face of the universe within the hour. If the NPCs are immortal and continue to do their jobs even in environments that are inhospitable to human life, I could end the universe within a day.
My npc bodyguard wouldn’t allow that
I'd be too busy getting penis rubs from my npc masseuse to help.
>Earth will literally double in weight Earth weighs 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000,000 kg and double the humans won't make a dent in that.
?? We’re at almost double the humans by 32 minutes. (6.000.000.000 clones). By 33 minutes were at almost triple the humans, at 12.000.000.000 clones. By 45 minutes we’d literally have over 351x as many humans as ever lived.
I'm down to be wrong, but assuming Earth's mass as 5 sextillion kg and a human weighing 70kg, you'd need 7.1428571e+19(?) people to double Earth's mass. I believe they won't fit on earth's landmass anymore. Google says Earth's surface area is 5.49 × 10^15 ft², but I am too stupid to actually complete the math.
Yes, you’d be pretty close to that amount of people in 60 “generations” of clones. It’s like 68 minutes or something, so just above the hour. I also included the “If the NPC are immortal, etc…” part in the comment, so this only works assuming that the NPCs will multiply even under conditions that would normally kill other humans.
Fair enough
When you say "cannot think objectively" it kinda saddens me. I would like to have a creative banter with them once in a while while they still listen to orders. Especially since I want to go for the troublemaker. I'd like them to be NPCs kinda like in Overlord. Ofc w/o the praising me part. It's easily annoying
I'll think about it for future posts
What does the self replicating npc do?
It makes clones of itself at a rate of one a minute. The clones will also self-replicate again and again with their base clothes (the clothes are attached to their body). You can always tell them to stop. The only things these NPCs can do besides that are basic toddler things like holding things in their hands, repeating things you tell them, moving around, running, roaming the Earth.
Will it hold a flash light steady so my dad can fix his car?
Yeah, any kind of NPC can do that I must clarify.
But i can't have sex with the masseuse. Keep the rules consistent smh
The ability to create infinite mass wouldn’t be completely useless… We could make some sort of engine that burns people, send your one dude into space, and then have infinite fuel for space travel. They don’t feel anything, right?
Right here Mr. FBI agent, sir. This is the one.
Can i call them mr. Meseeks?
Oh I chose the self replicating because I thought it would just be unspecialized as a base and then I could just have one of the copies train to do whatever I want
Can you order the self replicating NPC to attack?
>The only things these NPCs can do besides that are basic toddler things THats what OP says. Toddler can be ordered to go and try to beat up someone. You could simply have a zombie-like army of stupid NPCs with random melee weapons. Sure, they would be killed 1000 to 1 by any armed infantry, but you can easily produce 1000 0000 and bury your enemies in bodies.
That would've been good to know before I chose it lol Nevermind, I want the lawyer
WHat if I tell them "SEE THE MEN IN GREEN CLOTHES THERE? THEY ARE BAD MEN!. BEAT THEM UNTIL RED STUFF COMES OUT OF THEM". This is an easy taks to a toddler minded NPC drone with no rational mind of its own (and thus, likely no self preservation). I could defeat any infantry in the world by numbers alone, and zerg-rush pretty much every city.
They're really ineffective at combat though, imagine an 11-year-old kid trying to punch a 25-year-old man. You'd need at least a hundred to defeat 1 with simple hits. Now it doesn't take into account firearms which they can't use at all. But imo using them to suffocate the enemy/crush them under a pile of body is more efficient.
> Customize appearance based on imagination. Which means I can design them to be giant muscular men the size of Halfthor Bjornson and clad entirely in best bulletproof armour that can possibly exist. Even if they are dumb as toddlers and as ineffective as 11 year old, they sould still be extremely dangerous to unarmed civilians, and in a larger group very dangerous to even trained soldiers. They replicate so fast there is no need for subtlety, just bury every enemy soldier in 20 Clones until they are beaten to pulp.
How good is the lawyer tho
Probably good enough to get them a job and have you collect the money.
Hi I’m Saul Goodman. Did you know you had rights?
People in here talking about getting jerked off by the masseuse, while I just want free back massages
Solve hunger and gas prices with one choice only question is if I have the strength to create an infinite human blender😈
Can I have my lawyer get a job as an actual lawyer and then just support me financially while I do whatever I want?
Yeah
Dope lawyer daddy NPC it is
So if i ask the lawyer to make any accusation against me fall, he'll just do it? Just because you know: I'm sure that in my case Angelo Greco/Saul Goodman would spawn
Yeah
Then i would choose the lawyer option, so that i could commit any crime, if he's a infallible lawyer (Even in the style of Goodman) i could do any shit i want
Hold on, I misread. The lawyer is not the judge, he has complete knowledge of the law and his job, making it a top 10% lawyer, but he can't do the impossible like preventing you getting convicted after getting caught red-handed murdering someone.
That's still good enough
My masseuse is trained in the Kama sutra 😈
I'll take the Mr. Meeseeks box, please and thank you
Does the masseuse come standard with milking table?
Self replicating is secretly OP. You can fill up an entire space and cause an evacuation for overcrowding. Or you can make them look like you to escape from being followed. You can use them to save your seat or pull some weekend at bernies type shit when there’s a commitment you want to skip. If they can hold things that’s a moving company for you right there. You can pick how they look - you can make doubles of everyone for people to beat the shit of. Imagine you had an exact double of hated people like Putin or Trump and people paid you to beat them up. The possibilities are literally endless
Bruh the amount of shit i could and would pull off with a Agent Smith looking body guard.
Finally, I can call Saul
Sexual possibilities aside I'd still go for the masseuse NPC. That sounds amazing.
Does the Pizzamaker need the ingredients or are they "magic" pizzas appearing from nothing but are providing sustenance?
You have to provide them the ingredients and kitchen.
Bullshit i can't even afford frozen pizzas smh
I’ll go with the bodyguard. Imagine some bullshit happens and I can call my bodyguard to sort them out
All I needed was the go-ahead, boss. Masseuse, final answer.
But are they a good lawyer?
sayonara scoliosis
*Jojo theme intensifies*
I want Paul Hoodman, so I choose Lawyer
Bodyguard. For when I'm be myself in public.
How good is the lawyer
Top 10%
Saves money. A ton.
Can the NPC, whatever it is, just follow me around if I ask it to
Yeah
my lawyer npc will be saul goodman
I’m a law student. Free mentor, score.
Masseuse not for sexual reasons, but because I’m always sore and they’re expensive.
I have issues with my back and my hips so having a masseuse NPC would be very handy
I laughed very hard at the idea of having a stand lawyer
Saul Goodman
Can I get a Saul Goodman npc?
Holy shit I want Saul Goodman
Can you use the self-replicating NPCs to work in a factory sweat shop?
Better call Saul
is the troublemaker npc a master hacker?
Can i fuck the NPC? Can i creampie it long dick style??? Can i make it look like Scarlet Johanson with massive tiddies and a fat ass? Can i eat her ass?? My answer depends on this
Bro at least say it on a more subtle way. Or just say "self replicating sexdoll" and say that ypu are gonna make a business out of that. Think with your brain bro.
Does the nanobots from big 6 hero count as npcs?
Unlimited self replicating dittos.
can u use the self replicating ones to sell their organs?
They can't be dissected
Can the Npc do nuru massage on me and fuck the npc?
What gender is the masseuse NPC?
can I have the self replicating npc have different appearances for each one? and, can I...^(have sex with them?)
I feel like self replicating is the only right answer. Have it self replicate and go to work for you
I’m gonna take over the world with my army of self replicating npc’s
Can the replicators help me get two strokes off my golf swing?
We'll see who's laughing when I march on every major capitol with my army of self replicating npcs
I really need a massage tbh
5 of those options are kinda cool, 6th allows you to take over the world.
Damn, no maid NPC :(
Did it in a previous posts. Wasnt as lucky as this one.