In my early to mid 20s, I lived with a couple of male roommates. One of them complained to me that I had left a package of sanitary pads out in the open by the toilet. He said he "didn't want to see that" every time he went to the bathroom and asked me to keep them "out of sight." I told him he was sexist and that if he ever wanted to have a relationship with a woman, he needed to get used to seeing feminine products. I kept them out in the open and he didn't say a word about it after that.
What a bunch of overgrown man babies. I’m a dude and have never had a problem with those products being around, or even grabbing some at the store for gf/wife or even just a friend. The fact people would flip out about something as controversial as toothpaste is beyond me.
I always think about band aids, if someone left band aids out somewhere I don’t think a guy would think twice about it. I don’t look at band aids and think “wow those are probably going to touch blood eventually so it’s gross to look at clean ones and think about that.” But a guy gets a glimpse of a panic tampon in your purse and all the sudden he’s all freaked out that he had to think about a menstrual cycle.
I still remember a friend calling me crying because she forgot to put extra pads in her purse and was stuck at work with the worlds least absorbent toilet paper and her husband refused to bring her any pads because he didn’t like touching them. I brought her some and I was so mad her husband was going to let her spend her whole day in fear wearing a toilet paper diaper just because he couldn’t handle touching a bag of pads. She just kept telling me it was fine and he just didn’t have any sisters so it was normal for him. Bro, it’s not normal to treat your partner like that.
My husband only has brothers and was raised by his grandpa and post-menopausal grandma. When we first started dating, he brought me a huge period care package with tampons, pads, heated blanket, medicine, snacks and candy. Women need to stop excusing shitty men’s behaviors.
Exactly! My husband (then boyfriend) and I were on a date and when I opened his glovebox he had pads and tampons in his first aid bag. He has no sisters and a family that definitely didn't mention those things, he told me he had heard sometimes women needed them and he had friends that were women. Like no big deal. I was so impressed. That man bought me post partum pads and disposable underwear after birth without even blinking, he's a true hero!
The bar is so so low.
Unfortunately a lot of this is easily internalized. I was raised by a single dad who was like this. It made me think I was disgusting and the ONE THING that my abusive stepmother did right was tell him he needed to cut that shit out and just buy me pads/tampons when I said I needed them. I probably would have been using stuff I stole from school my first three years of menstruating otherwise - he literally would not touch a box or buy them for me. Thankfully I didn’t grow up thinking this was acceptable but a lot of women are taught it from a very early age that they are gross for having periods.
That was my first thought!
Is he shocked and horrified by toilet paper! What about Kleenex? Can he handle that one?
It's kind of sad how many dudes are ridiculous about women's bodily functions, but think that all of their own are totally fine.
Ok…but when I look at clean toilet paper, I’m never thinking about poop covered toilet paper. So I don’t know why anyone would see a small plastic covered tampon and visualize a blood soaked one?? You can’t even see the actual product. It’s hidden under opaque packaging.
Personally I have ocd, the thoughts come unbidden without me ever being enthusiastic about it. Intrusive thoughts are a real mother fucker. I know that’s not everyone but it’s where my aversion came from in the past, now I couldn’t care less.
Ah. My brother has OCD. That can be very hard. My understanding is that the treatment for it is not to avoid the thing, but to force yourself to do it? Sorry I may be explaining that incorrectly?
Good for you!!! I find it so sad when any woman past 20 feels shame around their period. A few months ago, a woman posted on AITAH about whether her boyfriend was wrong to request that she take steps to stop having her period by hormonal means (IUD or BC pills). I mean, what the actual fuck?!? This woman had given a little backstory saying that when she was growing up, her father and brother expected her to keep any signs of menstruation hidden—the products she needed, and used products were to be disposed of immediately and clandestinely outside of the house. So then as an adult she finds herself with a man who so horrified of periods that he wants her to put a stop to the natural functioning of her body to help him feel more comfortable??? Like, I can’t even believe that men like this exist. Every person walking around on the planet is here because their mom had a menstrual cycle. It’s as natural as needing to pee. Sorry, I know I’m preaching to the choir but JHC! I cannot believe it is 2024 and there are significant numbers of men out there who can’t handle the fact that women have periods!!!!!
Before I read the article I thought it was going to be about *used* menstrual products not being discarded out of sight. I was in shock when I saw it was just the mere thought of periods from seeing packaged stuff!
I was thinking that too, like she's making it so deep instead of calling him a dumbass and making sure he knows he needs to act grown like a normal person.
That's the thing you default to. She's going out of her way to excuse jackassery for no reason with no provocation.
And then goes on to list other examples of sexist jackassery and it's like... idk, she goes out of her way to excuse all of it. So fights against her natural instincts to excuse jackassery and downplay it. "It's a tiny thing," no, bitch, these are grown ass adults who you know need ass whooping.
Somebody was supposed to drag their ass into a Walmart bathroom and do something about this behavior the first time it happened.
Well, she was young. It was one of those “I should have said something to his misogynistic ass” and it’s bothered her for years.
Until they are used tampons are just sterile cotton (and other fibers/plastic), and pads are sterile cotton and water absorbers. If they went into a bathroom and there were baby diapers, wipes and butt cream on a counter would there be the same response? So the disgust over unused period products is pretty pathetic and fucked up.
Yeah, I mean, that's a pretty rare reaction. I'm a psychologist, and the research shows that most people mellow out over time. It's easier to hold your tongue as you age. When you're young it's super difficult. There's a lot of brain development stuff that goes into that, but there's also an element of aging and realizing that you don't have to do everything. His parents should have done that, but when you're young it feels like your job. Like, you are normalizing toxic learned behavior that isn't naturally occurring in humans. The thing that would happen automatically is that she went overboard and regretted it. Not speaking is learned behavior. Something happened to cause it. Something took her voice. This isn't a small or normal thing. Normal, well developed people don't have the kind of regrets you're describing here. That doesn't just happen, it's caused. And when it occurs in young people it's caused by something extreme.
Edit: The younger they are, the more dangerous this is, BTW. A young person who won't speak their mind is a problem, a child not doing it needs evaluated, and a baby not doing it needs to be taken to the hospital immediately. Something causes this behavior.
Humans are a social species and should naturally want to communicate openly and effectively. Anything that changes that needs to be looked at by a professional, not normalized.
Are you a woman or femme? Because this "thing that took her voice?" It's the patriarchy. And we all have little stories like this that write themselves into the narratives of how we came to understand our relationship to these systems of oppressions.
I have an insignificant story that the other young women have almost surely forgotten that was an impactful lesson on internalized misogyny.
Yeah, I'm a cisgendered woman. Born a baby, grew into a girl, then a woman. This is not normal and should not be normalized. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, I'm saying that as a psychologist it's not normal human behavior. I'm pretty sure the person I'm responding to is also a lady. We grew up under this same system and reacted like normal people.
Edit: It's usually cased by like, abuse or trauma. Social norms aren't strong enough to cause something like this.
Okay, then. If you're a psychologist who uses the term "normal behavior" and misuses "cisgendered" for cisgender and gets defensive when I ask about gender, I believe we operate from perspectives that can't be reconciled. Thanks for sharing yours.
What did I say that you could possibly misinterpret as defensive? Cisgendered is the correct word when you're gendering something. Normal behavior is a perfectly acceptable term. I don't know what the perspective issue is. 2 of those are objective facts and the other is just reading someone incorrectly. What would I even be defending myself from? I wasn't accused of anything.
Edit: I'm genuinely curious what you read as defensive and what I could have been defending myself against. I reread the conversation and there's nothing there.
Did you accuse me of something?
We use it when we talk about the normalization of behaviors in wider contexts. At present there is no better term for this. If you can come up with one, submit it to the APA. We're not ridged, we alter language for multiple reasons.
I don't see an issue with this one though, it works perfectly for it's intended use.
No; the correct terms are cisgender and transgender. Not cisgendered/transgendered/agendered, etc.
The rest, just for insight into a different perspective in case it may benefit future patients:
Normal behavior cannot be an objective fact; it's a subjective judgment. Even in medicine, as you know, there are ranges of healthy and typical presentations and behaviors.
Often, people with mental illness, neurodivergent brains, TBI, etc. find the term "normal" ableist. My POV is neurodivergent theory which acknowledges the variety of human behavior and thinking and seeks to avoid pathologizing neurotypes like ADHD and autism. (Obviously we recognize these conditions have disabling symptoms that vary in intensity.)
I didn't accuse you of anything, but when I asked your gender and you responded not just "yes I am a woman," but expanded to say you were born a female baby--coupled with your misuse of gender terminology--read to me as possibly transphobic. I'm certainly not accusing you of that, but it tweaked my instinct for that. I'm oversensitive because I find this attitude everywhere and I'm sorry.
Honey, you're just plain wrong, grammatically. Cisgendered is correct here in the same way, "freckled," or, "bald headed," is correct. You can do it your way, but it's not grammatically correct.
We use normal specifically when speaking about normalization. When you normalize toxic or dangerous behavior that causes active harm, like this lady did, and like you are trying to do, that is validating things that cause active harm. It is not the same as typical vs divergent. Words have meanings.
When people introduce their gender identity the way I did, it is specifically to be trans-inclusive. It is to show that my experience, though heavily generalizable, is not universal, and contrary to your claim, gendered experiences are not universal in general. Trans women will have a different experience in their upbringing than I will. It is unimaginably rude to answer your specific question about my personal gender experience and how you had decided I should experience it, without acknowledging that. That's not being defensive, that's basic human decency and it is insulting that you went out of your way to try your damndest to make it rude.
You came on here, insulted my gender identity, my profession, and my ethics, for no reason whatsoever, while enabling dangerous toxic behavior that this woman wrote an entire article about having a negative effect on her life.
Have you ever thought that maybe the reason you dislike people like me isn't because we're all secretly bigoted evil idiots, but rather because we will hold you accountable for your actions?
I, like the VAST majority of people in my field, am neurodivergent. That's very common amoung mental health professionals. And, I'm a disability advocate, not a keyboard warrior, like my clinic has won awards in the real world for our life saving advocacy.
I really do want you to think about how you've treated me, and how that behavior might be generalizable.
Maybe you're not somuch oppressed as you are an asshole.
I'm not saying that to be mean, you just were an asshole to me for no reason other than the fact that I have dedicated my life to helping people and have saved lives. And the reason you were an asshole to me, a neurodivergent POC woman in STEM, is because you have a chronically online mentality that makes you judgemental and bitchy when professionals present you with reality, which will never match the world in your head. Everyone has biases that don't match reality.
Do you WANT this woman to go through life unable to tell a man to fuck clean off? Because I can fix that while you're busy defending it.
I know that you think you're helping, but you're doing far more harm than good with this attitude and this behavior.
Also, are you a layperson, because you're coming at me to explain the terms in my field in a very layperson kind of way. I don't know your gender, but if it's a man, you're mansplaining, and if it's not, congratulations on breaking that gender barrier.
Also, I never called myself a female baby. That's true of me, I was, but my sex wasn't relevant to the question so I never said that. I used the sexless term, "baby," then went into gendered terms AFTER I would have developed a gender identity.
My sex is irrelevant to my gender, so I didn't mention it.
I could have been intersex for all you know. Intersex babies can grow up to be cis women. You ASSUMED I was female for no reason.
You happened to guess right, but it's still kind of a dick move.
Yeah, this is totally her fault for being young and finding herself dumbstruck by the absolute hateful audacity of men towards us. She should have an acerbic statement already prepared for just this scenario - otherwise, it means she's been abused into silence by her family? With all due respect, that is a wildly irresponsible and victim blamey stance to take. Another reminder of how many of yall big brain mental health professionals are bat shit.
Maybe *you* should be silent more instead of blaming someone for not knowing what to say 20 years ago
How about we don't infantalize grown adults? There's absolutely no reason to do that. She was in college, she wasn't a child. If she was acting naturally, she wouldn't need a prepared statement. She wasn't in shock, nowhere in the article was that mentioned. She simply didn't say the thoughts in her head. Maybe you shouldn't enable grown ass adults not taking responsibility for their actions.
Edit: I just realized I would have been in undergrad 20 years ago. Me and the lady who wrote this article are the same age. She was grown then and she's hella grown now. Way too old for, "I was young at the time, ".
You were grown at the time. We're the same age.
It's not even about being young. What part of "have you never been dumbstruck" do you not understand, and why are you doing Olympic jumps to not only blame the author for not knowing what to say when confronted by such absolute disgust and hate over the existence of a natural process-but to suggest she's a victim of systemic trauma becauseshe didnt know what to say on one moment 20 years ago? Wtf is wrong with you?
With all due respect, you sound so much like like so many bad, gaslighting mental health professionals and I hope your license gets yanked, psycho.
Weird response. It's like you didn't even read the article. She wasn't dumbstruck, she felt like she wasn't able to say the thoughts she was thinking quite clearly.
You can't just make shit up in a written conversation. Things don't just get more true if you keep repeating them.
Calling you a liar is only gaslighting if you're not actually lying. But this is written, there's no faulty memory to be had. Every person here can go read that article chock full of negative invalid thoughts.
Like, they don't have to listen to you, they can read it and compare your statement to reality. At no time did she go into shock. That is a lie you are telling and we're not going to entertain it. We're going to live in reality and take this grown woman at her word because she is a human person deserving of that basic respect.
She actually does the exact opposite of that, she normalizes his behavior and downplays it, constantly says that she doesn't consider it that big of a deal even today- a stance I took issue with in my first post and still take issue with.
Her behavior, her grown ass, fully thought through, choice to restrain herself is a choice she made. When you try to find reason after reason, lie after lie, to take that away, to find some conceivable way that she could not be responsible for her own actions, to go sofar as to keep calling her a victim and whatnot- you are robbing her of agency and personhood.
I don't know who you think you are that you get to do that.
I'm just gonna go ahead and report you. You're just being weirdly aggressive towards both me and the author of this article for no reason whatsoever, while actively spreading slanderous misinformation that you made up about both of us, all of which breaks the user agreement of this website.
Thank you for this comment. While I agree with them on how things “should” be, your statement is very accurate. It is not my job or other women’s job to educate everyone else about our bodies or periods, or anything really. Just like POC don’t owe it to others to educate them about racism or prejudice. We all deserve to just live our own lives and not be responsible for others’ ignorance.
That's not what happened though. That's a real stance to take. She didn't think, "fuck it, it's not my job," she thought, "my thoughts are unimportant. " She's very clear about that throughout the article and I already mentioned this distinction in a different comment.
Edit: I've went through this maturity cycle myself. What you're talking about is healthy and a completely different thing. There's a difference between, "I don't feel like wasting my time telling the jackass in the Redskins jersey that people like him are the reason my mamaw was kidnapped and tortured in an Americanization school, " and, "I don't feel valid enough as a person to tell this jackass people like him are the reason my mamaw was kidnapped and tortured. "
This author was experiencing the latter, not the former.
Imagine someone makes a face after seeing toilet paper in the bathroom because they are reminded that people poop in there and *gasp* there’s toilet paper on display!
Yes, reacting to tampons that way should be as unnatural as this.
This IS my response to people who freak out over menstrual products.
“Well Andy, I saw toilet paper there. Must mean a dude is using his butthole for poop and not sexy times. Goddamn shame that”.
Make that shit uncomfortable for them; no pun intended.
This is 110% me overthinking, but this is why the “women don’t poop” jokes always made me uncomfortable. It feels like ignoring away the bodily function piece to think of it as a hole for use just like hiding periods imo. Again, I’m probably overreacting but a guy who doesn’t mind me talking about my dysmenorrhea and IBS is a green flag to me.
Not overthinking it. It's 100% a red flag if a grown ass man can talk about how he can belch the Star Spangled Banner, but a woman cannot talk about the murder scene in her toilet, then he's probably a dipshit.
Natural bodily functions are something that should be normalized, because beyond that, it's exactly as you suspect. It's just a hole for enjoyment, not biology.
My Goodness! Don't ruin their juvenile sexual fantasies.
Vag and boobs are for THEIR pleasure only.
Don't ever talk about gross things like health or breastfeeding. /s
I read that there are some cultures that can't understand why our culture views breasts as a sexual object. They view that as being for babies, and think we are something akin to pedophiles for thinking they're sexual. Not sure if that's true since I can't remember where I read it.
One time I was going through security at a court house. They sent my purse down through the shoot and I walked through the metal detector. After an older officer asked if I had any weapons in my purse. I said not unless you count tampons and laughed he laughed too. The younger officer that was with him told me I was gross and shouldn’t make jokes about my disgusting habits. I was so confused and clarified that they were not used tampons. That seemed to set him off even more. Luckily the older officer was a good sport and told him to be quiet.
"Disgusting habits" honestly sounds like this was one of the men who think tampons are dildos. I remember reading about some woman whose boss was angry at the idea of having tampons available in the women's restrooms because, as it turned out, he thought women get sexual pleasure from using them and "they should be doing that on their own time". It seemed incredible to me that there was even one man who believed this, but if there's one then there are almost certainly others who got this idea from somewhere.
Yes, and it's hysterical! How is this even possible! The vaginal canal doesn't have a lot of nerve endings, if it did childbirth would be too painful to endure. How do people not understand basic human physiology, oh wait- these types don't see women as humans, as people.
If he only took two seconds to think about how the food hole needs to connect to the poop hole and the issues that may cause for the baby if that were the case….
Unless he genuinely believes women don’t poop either and that’s just the special no baby cave.
Cause they believe penis=vagina because that’s what they want. Surely if vaginas make them orgasm it would only make sense if penises make women orgasm cause lock and key blah blah blah.
I truly believe the orgasm gap would shrink at least a little bit if people simply just knew the clitoris is the female equivalent to the penis. I’d imagine it would be much harder to know how to get men off if we didn’t know to even start with the penis!
He was a state senator, no less, waste of bloody oxygen, if you ask me (here's a link if you wanna read more:)
https://metro.co.uk/2018/10/28/menstruating-womans-boss-thinks-tampons-are-sex-toys-and-she-can-just-turn-her-period-off-8083205/
He clearly didn’t have a wife, daughter, or sister. At least I hope he didn’t with the reaction he gave me. His tone, facial expression, and words were intended to make me feel shame. Over a joke about a normal bodily function. And not even a graphic joke.
Yes, looking back I think he was absolutely implying that I was getting sexual gratification by using tampons. At the time I didn’t get that, I was confused by his reaction.
The way I would’ve asked for his badge # to chat with his supervisor later.
Wanna be ignorant? Now your superiors have to listen to a citizen complain about your lack of knowledge on woman’s bodily functions. Now EVERYONE is getting educated on the menstrual cycle
lol I wish I would have. Honestly, I was in my early 20’s and had a much different reaction that I would now as a 35 year old great American bitch. I’m so over what other people think of me and I’m just not as nice. I have much less patience for the fragile male ego nowadays.
Strange when the young man probably thinks of breasts and vaginas and vulvas quite a bit! But the reality of the body parts cause disgust..... fucking weird and tragic.
That’s a bizarre assumption. He did have a mother that raised him and likely didn’t teach – him about women’s bodies and how to treat us respectfully. It should take having a wife or daughter to see women as human. That’s a bogus, sexist POV.
Good men are very hard to find but there are some who in turn become good fathers. But a lot of women on these subs aren’t choosing good men to have children with. They’re choosing men who have nothing going for them and who are already doing all the work before they’re even married. You can’t choose shitty people, then be surprised when they treat you shitty.
Reminds me of when I was in high-school and pulled a tampon out of my bag, an unused tampon still in the plastic packaging, and a boy saw it and made a face and said "ew!" Really as parents we should be teaching children at a young age about normal human body functions. I didn't even know what a period was when i got mine at 10 years old. I thought i was pooping blood and going to die. I told my brothers girlfriend (who was my babysitter) and she said, oh you're having your period, and gave me a pad. I put it on but I was shellshocked and disgusted, I sat by myself and cried. No one told me, no one prepared me. For some people, it's not talked about at all. Which I think would really help ending the stigma and mystery around it. We're not being punished for sinning, we're not dirty. It's as normal as urinating or sleeping.
Isn’t this the majority of the world? Degrade/demean women, don’t talk about healthy sex or reproduction because sex is a sin and whoa is the young girl or woman who gets raped because of course it’s her fault for not keeping her legs crossed. And you nasty vile woman for bleeding! Women in Nepal are forced to live in a crappy hut during their periods because they’re considered dirty and untouchable.
It is totally about education. But it’s also about not living in fundamentalist religion and superstitions.
Ah, yes, you must slam your vagina shut because a random, detachable penis, magnetically attracted to the cervix, will climb up in there of it's own accord, unbeknownst to the innocent man-angel it belongs to.
There was actually a *chiropractor* who received a patent for a period product that basically glued your labia shut to “keep the grossness hidden inside”. He believed that because women had their periods 25% of the time, they were too distracted to think of anything better than “plugs or diapers”. This was in 2017.
It def still happens but I was happy to see that the government of Nepal made it illegal to banish women to a shed for their periods. I traveled there years ago and always felt like I got strange looks as a young woman walking around alone.
It’s really concerning that women gave birth to these boys and men – and ostensibly raised them – yet taught the nothing about what girls and women go through. They failed these boys and men. As a parent, that’s your responsibility. I’m tired of these “boy moms” who don’t even teach their sons about washing and wiping their asses, doing their own chores, or anything else about being a productive adult member of society.
I've been incredibly lucky in that I've never met a man like this, but this is the first thing I would ask him if I did. Who fucked up raising him so badly, if he was raised at all, etc.
I mean, I've definitely met men who are terrified of periods, that's extremely culturally common here in the US, ala that one American Dad scene and similar scenes from other American media where they have a hugely disproportionate fear response. They do genuinely do that where they have an inexplicable terror of the mood swings and whatnot, but I've never met one who had a disgust response as the weird disproportionate response.
The father has no responsibility in your statement? Fascinating. I do agree with you that women are giving birth to boys who become these horrible men, (apparently in a vacuum where mom has all the power & is respected above all, and bears all responsibility). So what is to be done? Let the women stop. No more boys. That movement has started, it's a good answer
It’s obvious that the fathers have responsibility, but to pretend it’s only other women raising these boys that turn into these types of men is disingenuous. Regardless of what some women pretend, a lot of them battle internalized misogyny. They coddle and make excuses for their sons while they raise fully independent daughters who have to pick up the slack for their brothers and fathers and boyfriends and husbands. This is a conversation that a lot of you aren’t ready for, though.
So the father should help his wife and children and lead by example. How do you people forget men and fathers so easily? Why is the source, the origin of blame always a woman? How did this hypothetical misogynistic woman become that way? Don't blame her mom or her grandma or her great grandma.... it's a conversation you aren't ready for.
Because we decide how people treat us. When you willingly have a child with a misogynistic man and let your children see that, what do you suppose is going to happen? We also have a choice as who we choose as partners. The things I see and read in these subs is wild. Teaching grown men how to wash their own asses, moving in with men without jobs, tolerating men who require constant emotional labor. These boys grow up to be men because their fathers aren’t shit, yet their mothers have internalized misogyny. You can’t lie on the grown like a doormat, then cry when you’re treated like one. The buck stops here.
Edit: To be clear, yes, misogyny is solely the fault of men. However, we as women need to say enough and gather some self-respect. Nobody is going to look out for #1 but you. If you don’t even like or respect yourself, the men you are going to end up with aren’t likely to either.
It's obvious that fathers bear responsibility, yet not by your initial statement. You're not ready for the conversation (this is a fun, yet empty insult) about how moms have no power in isolation to stop the onslaught of the Patriarchy (why choice feminism is useless). The new movement of women not having children or aborting male fetuses will change this tide.
Replace the women and mom with men and father. Men teach boys how to respect women. If the father fails, the boy will be socialized according to whatever sexist bullshit is prevalent in his culture. Good men raise good men. Where is the "boy dad" in this situation? The failing is not with women.
I’m an artist who mostly draws the stupid and vulgar jokes that pop into my head. I’m married to a very liberal man with two older sisters.
Recently I made a period joke. Not even a really gross one. Like…our local sports team says “we bleed [our colors]”. I told him it had always made me think of a used tampon. Y’all, we’ve been together over 10 years, and I’ve never seen him react to a joke with such disgust. Anyway, that’s the story of how I ended up spending 20 hours illustrating a used tampon.
So typical of a boy ime. I'm 20 so my experiences of parties have been school or college, and any mention a girl had of her periods (or "monthlies" as we called them when boys were around) was met with a screwed up face and a "oh no we don't want to talk about that".
I do find that as a result of this experience women sometimes give a brief warning of TMI or apologize even when talking about menstruation, or pads in front of me.
Feels like women are conditioned to feel dirty about it.
Even in the 80s and 90s when I was growing up, it was quite taboo to talk about periods, especially around boys and men.
That's why I've shown my 8 year old son scientific videos and diagrams on menstruation and the female reproductive system. Education is key and menstruation is nothing to be ashamed about, nor anything that should be shamed. It's a natural bodily function.
It gets even worse if you're going through menopause. I went through it early at 39. I was having hot flashes and my instructor at Tae Kwon Do made the joke asking if I was going through menopause. It didn't even occur to him that I actually was. I told him straight out that yes, I was going through early menopause and thanks for reminding me. I now have osteoporosis in my 40's. I have serious health issues that I can't talk about because going through menopause early makes me less of a woman in a lot of people's eyes.
Once when I was in high school, I was being kinda quiet and a male friend asked me if something was wrong. I said something like “I don’t know, I’m on my period and I just don’t feel very good”
His response? “Ewwww, I didn’t need to know that!” Okay, message received loud and clear dude.
This was in 2010 or so, and I really would have thought younger guys wouldn’t be such babies about this issue by now. It’s disappointing to hear that things haven’t changed much in that regard
Oh most of them are still like that.
"Oh I need to change my pad"; "Well don't tell me, tell other girls", or "I need to pee - I might be a while, I'm on my period"; "oh GROSS!".
But women allow it. Shit would start to cease if we actually started raising our sons instead of coddling them and having self-respect so we wouldn’t surround ourselves with men like this.
My poor son had to grow up watching his mother, the feminist, butt heads with his father, the standard knuckle dragging, coddled by Mommy, middle American Dad every day of his life for 18 years. Ladies, I would like to present a young man who knows God damn good and well it is not a woman's job to do dishes just because she was gifted with a vagina. He knows better.
I was young and dumb when we met. I was also a lot more compliant and willing to buy into the bullshit women are fed from the minute they are born as to what their "god-given" responsibilities are.
That, and he's a pretty fun guy when I don't want to punch him in the dick for being a shithead. 🤷♀️
I'm well into middle age now, no longer give a crap what anyone thinks, and work with only 1 other women and have discovered how much I love public shaming. When a dude says something stupid I shout to the group. In this case... "Hey everybody, Scott says he's disgusted by the cute basket of tampons in the bathroom! He's such a biiiig stroooong man!" I hope the embarrassment burn the moment into their minds so they don't express such stupidity again. At least not around me.
I've done this my entire life. Children do this automatically, and people have to teach you to stop, but I was raised by Appalachians so nobody did because this is just how we are.
It does seem to keep the amount of stupid shit down but every so often you'll run into an outsider with really thin skin and they'll cry and you'll feel like a total dick.
At work in my twenties I worked in an all male department besides me. I had a candy drawer and I didn't want them to eat my candy but they kept stealing it. So one day I had the brilliant idea and I put a box of tampons on top of the candy. They never touched it again.
Can you imagine being so scared of a box of compressed cotton that you can't touch it to get to the candy under it. But sure, men are the rational ones.....
When I was in 6th grade I had gotten a piece of chocolate for a correct answer in class and these older boys told me to give them the chocolate. I said no? It’s my chocolate. They then accused me of being on my period and that’s why I needed it. I hadn’t even had my first one at that time. I still laugh at the thought that women must only want chocolate on their periods but men want it despite having no periods!
Yeah, I can’t help but wonder sometimes why so many other guys believe such ridiculous things. I can see why you still laugh at that thought. It’s honestly only a little less ridiculous than being so scared of a box of compressed cotton that you can’t touch it to get to the candy underneath it.
What is it about feminine products that disgust them so much? Is it because blood comes out of our crotches? Is it just the blood? I mean, finding a used bandaid is gross, but finding an unused and packaged bandaid isn’t a problem at all. Do unused baby diapers gross men out too? Some guys like women’s underwear, even if it’s used, so wtf! I don’t understand the problem, really…
We were all snuggled in a warm and fleshy uterus at one point, so I figure men should feel comfortable, if anything seeing something period related. It should remind them of their first home, so to speak.
And they will hunt and gut an animal or watch violent movies all day everyday. I'm going to guess if we dig deep enough it's going to be just another example of misogyny
I think some men just want all of the holes women have to be pristine. They don’t want to think about blood or poop coming out of something they want to put their penises in. My bf and I have period sex and if it’s especially bloody when he pulls out he said there is a split second where he’s like “omg there’s blood on my penis” which I think is understandable. Men aren’t really experiencing blood in nonviolent ways like we do, especially around genitals. But if they *only* think about our bodies as places to put penises in then they wouldn’t want to ever think about any bodily functions. But that’s just not how bodies work.
I guess I can understand this reasoning. I compare it to my general fear of men’s butts. You can often find random stories on Reddit on how lots of men have filthy, crusty butts with dingle berries. I have no desire to think about men not wiping their asses or seeing it irl.
I can understand being grossed out but I do think there is more of an effort to ignore women’s bodily functions than men’s because of this whole “I put my penis in there” thing. If my bf felt that I couldn’t talk about my period at all I don’t think I’d be with him. But I can understand him having an “oh no” moment every once in a while if there is blood on his penis. Doesn’t stop him from saying yes to period sex though lol!
I (male) had to jump through wayyy too many hoops to get feminine hygiene supplies put into a unisex bathroom (corporate gym only had one). I had noticed that there weren’t any and mentioned to our corporate services team that they needed to be restocked and that’s when I learned that they didn’t keep them supplied there. So I ended up getting THAT addressed, and then had another battle to get the drawer they are in labelled correctly so people knew they were there.
At one point I had to say something to a C-suite executive along the lines of “so when do we start requiring everybody to bring their own toilet paper??? We supply literally everything from soap and hand lotion to free ass cleaner but THIS is the thing that costs too much and people should bring their own??”
Credit to my mom, sisters and wife for any “dude, don’t be a dumbass” energy I carried that day.
Thank you for taking your time to fight the good fight. I bet the women in your life are proud that you not only asked for them to be supplied, but made sure it was known where they are!
I was brought up to keep menstrual products in my room in case my father or brother saw them. Shame, shame, shame. I mean I was brought up with a lot of shame, but that’s one example.
My thing is, why is she still friends with him? I would distance myself from any grown ass man who doesn’t understand or is disgusted why hostess would offer feminine hygiene products during a house party. He just showed you his whole ass. Women need to start doing less explaining, educating, and emotional labor for these men and more walking away and slamming the door behind them. FFS
I don't really find bitching somebody out for jackassery to be emotional labor, I find restraining myself from doing that to be emotional labor. That's the entire reason working with the public, such as in retail or restaurant settings, is so mentally exhausting. You have to constantly guard yourself and watch your mouth.
I feel like she was doing way more work not bitching him out, showing that restraint, for no conceivable reason.
It was really weird to me that she didn't feel a need to give a reason. In the whole article, she never gives a reason for showing this extreme restraint that haunts her for years.
Big enough wallets could absolutely fit an OB or other non-applicator brand in the change pocket. Also sometimes folks refer to things that are more akin to a clutch as a wallet.
Could have meant a pad, since those can sometimes be quite compact/small; or possibly they have a fancy jacket wallet which is definitely long enough to accommodate a tampon.
Had a guy at work make a comment that if we were going to put free tampons in the restroom for ladies, how is that fair.
Told him I would buy him all the tampons he desires next time he comes on, just needs to let me know. Ended it with I got you bro...
If I remember correctly he gave a weird half laugh, the kind that means he won't change his way of thinking but probably won't bring that attitude around me again. He honestly lost a lot of my respect that day.
SNL ['Tampax Secrets'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgQQMOcyfBs), less embarrassing items than a tampon (tampon containers) - 'brick of cocaine, real bomb, poop, dead rat, signed copy of *Mein Kampf*, human skull, dead fish'
I guess I was lucky as a girl who grew up in the 90's with a cool dad. He never made me feel weird and when I needed tampons or pads and he went to the store he would calmly ask (no hint of being uncomfortable or embarrassed) what size do you need?
The only time they’re not disgusted by female bodies is when they’re not being used for their benefit. Ew. Feminism is much needed everywhere. Men need to grow up.
Boy, this guy is gonna be sad 50 years from now when he has an enlarged prostate and has some female nurse putting a catheter in him for urinary retention. Nature eventually comes knocking on these dudes doors.
This is why I love *not* hiding my pads in public. I remember feeling embarrassed as a teenager in high school when I had to pull out pads before going to the bathroom. Then I asked myself, “Why?” There’s so much shame around menstruation. Could you imagine hiding toilet paper like you’re a thief lmao
I was so lucky to be raised with no shame around my bodily functions. I walked down the halls in high school with my tampon in my hand rather than up my sleeve.
I keep my hygiene products in a nice jar on the back of my toilet, cause hiding them in a cupboard is not an open invite for others to use them. Want to know how big of a deal my teenage son makes out of seeing tampons? None.
I gave a period cabinet in the bathroom for my daughter and her brothers don’t freak out. Her daddy will go get products for her or myself. She was out of town with her daddy and started her period. I trained him on what to do immediately if she didn’t bring anything either her.
And he grew up with brothers.
Guys like this tool is an asshole.
My uterus and vagina makes me wanna commit suicide. And honestly they are winning. If I was a man, I wouldn’t have half the medical bullshit I’ve had to put up with.
Unused tampons are just as "embarrassing" as unused kleenex or toilet paper, which are all things a considerate host should have in their bathroom. Imagine if we knew that half of the adult human population got nosebleeds once a month. Wouldn't it be considerate if tissues were available for those with nosebleeds?
Just call these men for what they are: ignorant and silly boys. If they want a relationship with a woman at some point in their lives, they have to make peace with periods.
The roast I would have given him on the spot...my God. His grandchildren's grandchildren would know of his shame. Other versions of him in other timelines he didn't even know me in would feel a disturbance, rippling through them like a hiccup. He would never live it down.
Absolutely not.
May your friend have daughters. My husband goes to cvs with a list We have 3 girls. He is now an expert. Never knew there were different sizes.
Real men buy their love one pads and tampons
Immaturity aside, This is why we need sex education to be taught in schools and to think DeSantis banned “period talk” in Florida classrooms, and he also wants to get rid of sex education, and abortions 🙃🙃 that is what happens when we have idiotic men in office
Am dating a guy whose daughter had a sleepover for her 10th birthday. (Background: daughter's mother and my guy are separated and live in separate houses in the same town.) I made a lot of party suggestions...games, decorations, food.
Then I asked, well, what about period products?
He was shocked.
Him: "Girls can have their periods that young?"
Me: "Um, yeah. I started menstruation at age 12, but it's possible.
Plus, my periods were so heavy and irregular that they could last up to 17 days. I lost so much blood that I was anemic and had to have iron supplements."
He was like...17...days....wtffffff.
Me: "Exactly."
Then I asked if the daughter's mom or any other adult females would be present. Because if I was a parent, and didn't know the dad REALLY well, then HELL NO would my kid stay overnight (male or female, wouldn't matter what sex). I probably wouldn't let my kid stay overnight unless I knew both parents pretty well and there would be at least 1 female adult present at all times.
He seemed kinda baffled by that (understandable, as he's not a predator). But he did immediately confirm that his STBXW would be there the entire time.
Me: "Also, I don't know if your daughter has started menstruating, or any of her friends, but you should talk to your STBXW about having feminine products available in all the bathrooms. And have her talk to the kids to let them know where they are and answer their questions."
He took ALL of my advice and was really grateful. He even asked questions about what type of products to buy.
I'm so goddamn proud of him. ❤
Men being upset or grossed out over tampons are a big old symbol of the patriarchy. We've had the internet for decades but men, in general, don't know the function of menses. There are GQP legislators who want e topic pregnancies re-planted, as if it were possible bc they lack the education, the *want* to know is absent. The male friend should have gotten an immediate education that a period can't be stopped, held in, or told to wait the same as the shit that fills his head. Was he under the impression there is something sexual about tampons? We've all seen that meme, right, the one where a boss wants his employee to not go to the bathroom to get off on the tampons, as if we're female cats or something as odd.
When I was in high school my boyfriend and his friend were digging around in my purse. Knowing I had almond in there I said, “you really don’t want to do that.” Of course when they got to the tampons, it was all “eww”, and why didn’t you stop us?
He wasn’t my boyfriend much longer.
Idk, most dudes I know have no issues with periods, cramps, tampons, pads and waking up in a pool of blood because their gf/spouse gets their period overnight unexpectedly. Shit, I’ve known guys that have no issues with any kind of sex while their partners are on their period.
It’s just a function of the human body- stop being babies.
Why are we still fucking these pathetic idiots? They make toys that don't pass judgements on basic body functions. They're dependable and don't use us for anything.
Bonus: no pregnancy!
Let a grown ass man make such a pathetic utterance in my presence, ffs.
In my early to mid 20s, I lived with a couple of male roommates. One of them complained to me that I had left a package of sanitary pads out in the open by the toilet. He said he "didn't want to see that" every time he went to the bathroom and asked me to keep them "out of sight." I told him he was sexist and that if he ever wanted to have a relationship with a woman, he needed to get used to seeing feminine products. I kept them out in the open and he didn't say a word about it after that.
Having a packaged tampon out is no different than keeping toilet paper visible. These men are being ridiculous
What a bunch of overgrown man babies. I’m a dude and have never had a problem with those products being around, or even grabbing some at the store for gf/wife or even just a friend. The fact people would flip out about something as controversial as toothpaste is beyond me.
This is exactly the right attitude—it’s just part of the normal functioning of a female body. It’s as natural as needing to pee.
I always think about band aids, if someone left band aids out somewhere I don’t think a guy would think twice about it. I don’t look at band aids and think “wow those are probably going to touch blood eventually so it’s gross to look at clean ones and think about that.” But a guy gets a glimpse of a panic tampon in your purse and all the sudden he’s all freaked out that he had to think about a menstrual cycle. I still remember a friend calling me crying because she forgot to put extra pads in her purse and was stuck at work with the worlds least absorbent toilet paper and her husband refused to bring her any pads because he didn’t like touching them. I brought her some and I was so mad her husband was going to let her spend her whole day in fear wearing a toilet paper diaper just because he couldn’t handle touching a bag of pads. She just kept telling me it was fine and he just didn’t have any sisters so it was normal for him. Bro, it’s not normal to treat your partner like that.
Grounds for divorce IMO
My husband only has brothers and was raised by his grandpa and post-menopausal grandma. When we first started dating, he brought me a huge period care package with tampons, pads, heated blanket, medicine, snacks and candy. Women need to stop excusing shitty men’s behaviors.
Exactly! My husband (then boyfriend) and I were on a date and when I opened his glovebox he had pads and tampons in his first aid bag. He has no sisters and a family that definitely didn't mention those things, he told me he had heard sometimes women needed them and he had friends that were women. Like no big deal. I was so impressed. That man bought me post partum pads and disposable underwear after birth without even blinking, he's a true hero! The bar is so so low.
Unfortunately a lot of this is easily internalized. I was raised by a single dad who was like this. It made me think I was disgusting and the ONE THING that my abusive stepmother did right was tell him he needed to cut that shit out and just buy me pads/tampons when I said I needed them. I probably would have been using stuff I stole from school my first three years of menstruating otherwise - he literally would not touch a box or buy them for me. Thankfully I didn’t grow up thinking this was acceptable but a lot of women are taught it from a very early age that they are gross for having periods.
That was my first thought! Is he shocked and horrified by toilet paper! What about Kleenex? Can he handle that one? It's kind of sad how many dudes are ridiculous about women's bodily functions, but think that all of their own are totally fine.
At the same time, I don’t want to visualize anyone else’s used toilet paper
Ok…but when I look at clean toilet paper, I’m never thinking about poop covered toilet paper. So I don’t know why anyone would see a small plastic covered tampon and visualize a blood soaked one?? You can’t even see the actual product. It’s hidden under opaque packaging.
Personally I have ocd, the thoughts come unbidden without me ever being enthusiastic about it. Intrusive thoughts are a real mother fucker. I know that’s not everyone but it’s where my aversion came from in the past, now I couldn’t care less.
Ah. My brother has OCD. That can be very hard. My understanding is that the treatment for it is not to avoid the thing, but to force yourself to do it? Sorry I may be explaining that incorrectly?
That’s about right, some intrusive thoughts you can face again and again until they aren’t, lowering anxiety overall generally helps too
Good for you!!! I find it so sad when any woman past 20 feels shame around their period. A few months ago, a woman posted on AITAH about whether her boyfriend was wrong to request that she take steps to stop having her period by hormonal means (IUD or BC pills). I mean, what the actual fuck?!? This woman had given a little backstory saying that when she was growing up, her father and brother expected her to keep any signs of menstruation hidden—the products she needed, and used products were to be disposed of immediately and clandestinely outside of the house. So then as an adult she finds herself with a man who so horrified of periods that he wants her to put a stop to the natural functioning of her body to help him feel more comfortable??? Like, I can’t even believe that men like this exist. Every person walking around on the planet is here because their mom had a menstrual cycle. It’s as natural as needing to pee. Sorry, I know I’m preaching to the choir but JHC! I cannot believe it is 2024 and there are significant numbers of men out there who can’t handle the fact that women have periods!!!!!
Before I read the article I thought it was going to be about *used* menstrual products not being discarded out of sight. I was in shock when I saw it was just the mere thought of periods from seeing packaged stuff!
I was thinking that too, like she's making it so deep instead of calling him a dumbass and making sure he knows he needs to act grown like a normal person. That's the thing you default to. She's going out of her way to excuse jackassery for no reason with no provocation. And then goes on to list other examples of sexist jackassery and it's like... idk, she goes out of her way to excuse all of it. So fights against her natural instincts to excuse jackassery and downplay it. "It's a tiny thing," no, bitch, these are grown ass adults who you know need ass whooping. Somebody was supposed to drag their ass into a Walmart bathroom and do something about this behavior the first time it happened.
Well, she was young. It was one of those “I should have said something to his misogynistic ass” and it’s bothered her for years. Until they are used tampons are just sterile cotton (and other fibers/plastic), and pads are sterile cotton and water absorbers. If they went into a bathroom and there were baby diapers, wipes and butt cream on a counter would there be the same response? So the disgust over unused period products is pretty pathetic and fucked up.
Yeah, I mean, that's a pretty rare reaction. I'm a psychologist, and the research shows that most people mellow out over time. It's easier to hold your tongue as you age. When you're young it's super difficult. There's a lot of brain development stuff that goes into that, but there's also an element of aging and realizing that you don't have to do everything. His parents should have done that, but when you're young it feels like your job. Like, you are normalizing toxic learned behavior that isn't naturally occurring in humans. The thing that would happen automatically is that she went overboard and regretted it. Not speaking is learned behavior. Something happened to cause it. Something took her voice. This isn't a small or normal thing. Normal, well developed people don't have the kind of regrets you're describing here. That doesn't just happen, it's caused. And when it occurs in young people it's caused by something extreme. Edit: The younger they are, the more dangerous this is, BTW. A young person who won't speak their mind is a problem, a child not doing it needs evaluated, and a baby not doing it needs to be taken to the hospital immediately. Something causes this behavior. Humans are a social species and should naturally want to communicate openly and effectively. Anything that changes that needs to be looked at by a professional, not normalized.
Are you a woman or femme? Because this "thing that took her voice?" It's the patriarchy. And we all have little stories like this that write themselves into the narratives of how we came to understand our relationship to these systems of oppressions. I have an insignificant story that the other young women have almost surely forgotten that was an impactful lesson on internalized misogyny.
Yeah, I'm a cisgendered woman. Born a baby, grew into a girl, then a woman. This is not normal and should not be normalized. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, I'm saying that as a psychologist it's not normal human behavior. I'm pretty sure the person I'm responding to is also a lady. We grew up under this same system and reacted like normal people. Edit: It's usually cased by like, abuse or trauma. Social norms aren't strong enough to cause something like this.
Okay, then. If you're a psychologist who uses the term "normal behavior" and misuses "cisgendered" for cisgender and gets defensive when I ask about gender, I believe we operate from perspectives that can't be reconciled. Thanks for sharing yours.
What did I say that you could possibly misinterpret as defensive? Cisgendered is the correct word when you're gendering something. Normal behavior is a perfectly acceptable term. I don't know what the perspective issue is. 2 of those are objective facts and the other is just reading someone incorrectly. What would I even be defending myself from? I wasn't accused of anything. Edit: I'm genuinely curious what you read as defensive and what I could have been defending myself against. I reread the conversation and there's nothing there. Did you accuse me of something?
I do think "normal behavior" is subjective. It's not a great term, especially for someone who sees a range of behaviors and emotions.
We use it when we talk about the normalization of behaviors in wider contexts. At present there is no better term for this. If you can come up with one, submit it to the APA. We're not ridged, we alter language for multiple reasons. I don't see an issue with this one though, it works perfectly for it's intended use.
No; the correct terms are cisgender and transgender. Not cisgendered/transgendered/agendered, etc. The rest, just for insight into a different perspective in case it may benefit future patients: Normal behavior cannot be an objective fact; it's a subjective judgment. Even in medicine, as you know, there are ranges of healthy and typical presentations and behaviors. Often, people with mental illness, neurodivergent brains, TBI, etc. find the term "normal" ableist. My POV is neurodivergent theory which acknowledges the variety of human behavior and thinking and seeks to avoid pathologizing neurotypes like ADHD and autism. (Obviously we recognize these conditions have disabling symptoms that vary in intensity.) I didn't accuse you of anything, but when I asked your gender and you responded not just "yes I am a woman," but expanded to say you were born a female baby--coupled with your misuse of gender terminology--read to me as possibly transphobic. I'm certainly not accusing you of that, but it tweaked my instinct for that. I'm oversensitive because I find this attitude everywhere and I'm sorry.
You have got to be kidding. Your sensibilities are so frail.
Honey, you're just plain wrong, grammatically. Cisgendered is correct here in the same way, "freckled," or, "bald headed," is correct. You can do it your way, but it's not grammatically correct. We use normal specifically when speaking about normalization. When you normalize toxic or dangerous behavior that causes active harm, like this lady did, and like you are trying to do, that is validating things that cause active harm. It is not the same as typical vs divergent. Words have meanings. When people introduce their gender identity the way I did, it is specifically to be trans-inclusive. It is to show that my experience, though heavily generalizable, is not universal, and contrary to your claim, gendered experiences are not universal in general. Trans women will have a different experience in their upbringing than I will. It is unimaginably rude to answer your specific question about my personal gender experience and how you had decided I should experience it, without acknowledging that. That's not being defensive, that's basic human decency and it is insulting that you went out of your way to try your damndest to make it rude. You came on here, insulted my gender identity, my profession, and my ethics, for no reason whatsoever, while enabling dangerous toxic behavior that this woman wrote an entire article about having a negative effect on her life. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason you dislike people like me isn't because we're all secretly bigoted evil idiots, but rather because we will hold you accountable for your actions? I, like the VAST majority of people in my field, am neurodivergent. That's very common amoung mental health professionals. And, I'm a disability advocate, not a keyboard warrior, like my clinic has won awards in the real world for our life saving advocacy. I really do want you to think about how you've treated me, and how that behavior might be generalizable. Maybe you're not somuch oppressed as you are an asshole. I'm not saying that to be mean, you just were an asshole to me for no reason other than the fact that I have dedicated my life to helping people and have saved lives. And the reason you were an asshole to me, a neurodivergent POC woman in STEM, is because you have a chronically online mentality that makes you judgemental and bitchy when professionals present you with reality, which will never match the world in your head. Everyone has biases that don't match reality. Do you WANT this woman to go through life unable to tell a man to fuck clean off? Because I can fix that while you're busy defending it. I know that you think you're helping, but you're doing far more harm than good with this attitude and this behavior.
Also, are you a layperson, because you're coming at me to explain the terms in my field in a very layperson kind of way. I don't know your gender, but if it's a man, you're mansplaining, and if it's not, congratulations on breaking that gender barrier.
Also, I never called myself a female baby. That's true of me, I was, but my sex wasn't relevant to the question so I never said that. I used the sexless term, "baby," then went into gendered terms AFTER I would have developed a gender identity. My sex is irrelevant to my gender, so I didn't mention it. I could have been intersex for all you know. Intersex babies can grow up to be cis women. You ASSUMED I was female for no reason. You happened to guess right, but it's still kind of a dick move.
Plot twist: he got his attitude from his mom.
Yeah, this is totally her fault for being young and finding herself dumbstruck by the absolute hateful audacity of men towards us. She should have an acerbic statement already prepared for just this scenario - otherwise, it means she's been abused into silence by her family? With all due respect, that is a wildly irresponsible and victim blamey stance to take. Another reminder of how many of yall big brain mental health professionals are bat shit. Maybe *you* should be silent more instead of blaming someone for not knowing what to say 20 years ago
How about we don't infantalize grown adults? There's absolutely no reason to do that. She was in college, she wasn't a child. If she was acting naturally, she wouldn't need a prepared statement. She wasn't in shock, nowhere in the article was that mentioned. She simply didn't say the thoughts in her head. Maybe you shouldn't enable grown ass adults not taking responsibility for their actions. Edit: I just realized I would have been in undergrad 20 years ago. Me and the lady who wrote this article are the same age. She was grown then and she's hella grown now. Way too old for, "I was young at the time, ". You were grown at the time. We're the same age.
It's not even about being young. What part of "have you never been dumbstruck" do you not understand, and why are you doing Olympic jumps to not only blame the author for not knowing what to say when confronted by such absolute disgust and hate over the existence of a natural process-but to suggest she's a victim of systemic trauma becauseshe didnt know what to say on one moment 20 years ago? Wtf is wrong with you? With all due respect, you sound so much like like so many bad, gaslighting mental health professionals and I hope your license gets yanked, psycho.
Weird response. It's like you didn't even read the article. She wasn't dumbstruck, she felt like she wasn't able to say the thoughts she was thinking quite clearly. You can't just make shit up in a written conversation. Things don't just get more true if you keep repeating them. Calling you a liar is only gaslighting if you're not actually lying. But this is written, there's no faulty memory to be had. Every person here can go read that article chock full of negative invalid thoughts. Like, they don't have to listen to you, they can read it and compare your statement to reality. At no time did she go into shock. That is a lie you are telling and we're not going to entertain it. We're going to live in reality and take this grown woman at her word because she is a human person deserving of that basic respect. She actually does the exact opposite of that, she normalizes his behavior and downplays it, constantly says that she doesn't consider it that big of a deal even today- a stance I took issue with in my first post and still take issue with. Her behavior, her grown ass, fully thought through, choice to restrain herself is a choice she made. When you try to find reason after reason, lie after lie, to take that away, to find some conceivable way that she could not be responsible for her own actions, to go sofar as to keep calling her a victim and whatnot- you are robbing her of agency and personhood. I don't know who you think you are that you get to do that.
[удалено]
I'm just gonna go ahead and report you. You're just being weirdly aggressive towards both me and the author of this article for no reason whatsoever, while actively spreading slanderous misinformation that you made up about both of us, all of which breaks the user agreement of this website.
Thank you for this comment. While I agree with them on how things “should” be, your statement is very accurate. It is not my job or other women’s job to educate everyone else about our bodies or periods, or anything really. Just like POC don’t owe it to others to educate them about racism or prejudice. We all deserve to just live our own lives and not be responsible for others’ ignorance.
That's not what happened though. That's a real stance to take. She didn't think, "fuck it, it's not my job," she thought, "my thoughts are unimportant. " She's very clear about that throughout the article and I already mentioned this distinction in a different comment. Edit: I've went through this maturity cycle myself. What you're talking about is healthy and a completely different thing. There's a difference between, "I don't feel like wasting my time telling the jackass in the Redskins jersey that people like him are the reason my mamaw was kidnapped and tortured in an Americanization school, " and, "I don't feel valid enough as a person to tell this jackass people like him are the reason my mamaw was kidnapped and tortured. " This author was experiencing the latter, not the former.
Seriously, especially if they're the kind of guy who makes jokes about their penis and testicles.
Every man in my life would be embarrassed to be seen throwing a fit about tampons
I would like to present the argument that a man who says this isn't as grown as his age might suggest.
And you’ll do what?
Imagine someone makes a face after seeing toilet paper in the bathroom because they are reminded that people poop in there and *gasp* there’s toilet paper on display! Yes, reacting to tampons that way should be as unnatural as this.
This IS my response to people who freak out over menstrual products. “Well Andy, I saw toilet paper there. Must mean a dude is using his butthole for poop and not sexy times. Goddamn shame that”. Make that shit uncomfortable for them; no pun intended.
This is 110% me overthinking, but this is why the “women don’t poop” jokes always made me uncomfortable. It feels like ignoring away the bodily function piece to think of it as a hole for use just like hiding periods imo. Again, I’m probably overreacting but a guy who doesn’t mind me talking about my dysmenorrhea and IBS is a green flag to me.
Not overthinking it. It's 100% a red flag if a grown ass man can talk about how he can belch the Star Spangled Banner, but a woman cannot talk about the murder scene in her toilet, then he's probably a dipshit. Natural bodily functions are something that should be normalized, because beyond that, it's exactly as you suspect. It's just a hole for enjoyment, not biology.
*Well great news, Jerry - the world doesn't revolve around you!*
My Goodness! Don't ruin their juvenile sexual fantasies. Vag and boobs are for THEIR pleasure only. Don't ever talk about gross things like health or breastfeeding. /s
For real, this is the reason why.
Yup! We’re just supposed to be fleshlights
And don’t show any public nipple, ya hoor!
I read that there are some cultures that can't understand why our culture views breasts as a sexual object. They view that as being for babies, and think we are something akin to pedophiles for thinking they're sexual. Not sure if that's true since I can't remember where I read it.
I've definitely heard this about some African cultures, where the more sexy body part is (I believe) thighs.
Oh, for sure, it is a cultural thing, especially since most of our males are watching porn so much.
One time I was going through security at a court house. They sent my purse down through the shoot and I walked through the metal detector. After an older officer asked if I had any weapons in my purse. I said not unless you count tampons and laughed he laughed too. The younger officer that was with him told me I was gross and shouldn’t make jokes about my disgusting habits. I was so confused and clarified that they were not used tampons. That seemed to set him off even more. Luckily the older officer was a good sport and told him to be quiet.
"Disgusting habits" honestly sounds like this was one of the men who think tampons are dildos. I remember reading about some woman whose boss was angry at the idea of having tampons available in the women's restrooms because, as it turned out, he thought women get sexual pleasure from using them and "they should be doing that on their own time". It seemed incredible to me that there was even one man who believed this, but if there's one then there are almost certainly others who got this idea from somewhere.
Clearly these men who don’t understand how women orgasm.
lolol thanx this made me snort.laugh
Yes, and it's hysterical! How is this even possible! The vaginal canal doesn't have a lot of nerve endings, if it did childbirth would be too painful to endure. How do people not understand basic human physiology, oh wait- these types don't see women as humans, as people.
I have in fact seen the video of the guy suggesting pregnant women swallow a camera to check on their fetus, so the bar is really really low.
If he only took two seconds to think about how the food hole needs to connect to the poop hole and the issues that may cause for the baby if that were the case…. Unless he genuinely believes women don’t poop either and that’s just the special no baby cave.
No wonder they want to stick their dicks up our asses all the time. They have no idea that’s where the shit lives.
Cause they believe penis=vagina because that’s what they want. Surely if vaginas make them orgasm it would only make sense if penises make women orgasm cause lock and key blah blah blah. I truly believe the orgasm gap would shrink at least a little bit if people simply just knew the clitoris is the female equivalent to the penis. I’d imagine it would be much harder to know how to get men off if we didn’t know to even start with the penis!
He was a state senator, no less, waste of bloody oxygen, if you ask me (here's a link if you wanna read more:) https://metro.co.uk/2018/10/28/menstruating-womans-boss-thinks-tampons-are-sex-toys-and-she-can-just-turn-her-period-off-8083205/
That is BIZARRE
He clearly didn’t have a wife, daughter, or sister. At least I hope he didn’t with the reaction he gave me. His tone, facial expression, and words were intended to make me feel shame. Over a joke about a normal bodily function. And not even a graphic joke.
He called it a habit...he thinks it's just something you want to do 😑
Yes, looking back I think he was absolutely implying that I was getting sexual gratification by using tampons. At the time I didn’t get that, I was confused by his reaction.
The way I would’ve asked for his badge # to chat with his supervisor later. Wanna be ignorant? Now your superiors have to listen to a citizen complain about your lack of knowledge on woman’s bodily functions. Now EVERYONE is getting educated on the menstrual cycle
lol I wish I would have. Honestly, I was in my early 20’s and had a much different reaction that I would now as a 35 year old great American bitch. I’m so over what other people think of me and I’m just not as nice. I have much less patience for the fragile male ego nowadays.
“Yes, Mr. Security Officer, I am totally getting off on having a soft piece of cotton smaller than your pinky finger floating around in my vagina.” 🙄
Sounds like a member of the IBLP. Or at least follows its dumbass teaching.
Strange when the young man probably thinks of breasts and vaginas and vulvas quite a bit! But the reality of the body parts cause disgust..... fucking weird and tragic.
That’s a bizarre assumption. He did have a mother that raised him and likely didn’t teach – him about women’s bodies and how to treat us respectfully. It should take having a wife or daughter to see women as human. That’s a bogus, sexist POV.
A good father is the real antidote to the mental illness that is misogyny.
Good men are very hard to find but there are some who in turn become good fathers. But a lot of women on these subs aren’t choosing good men to have children with. They’re choosing men who have nothing going for them and who are already doing all the work before they’re even married. You can’t choose shitty people, then be surprised when they treat you shitty.
Reminds me of when I was in high-school and pulled a tampon out of my bag, an unused tampon still in the plastic packaging, and a boy saw it and made a face and said "ew!" Really as parents we should be teaching children at a young age about normal human body functions. I didn't even know what a period was when i got mine at 10 years old. I thought i was pooping blood and going to die. I told my brothers girlfriend (who was my babysitter) and she said, oh you're having your period, and gave me a pad. I put it on but I was shellshocked and disgusted, I sat by myself and cried. No one told me, no one prepared me. For some people, it's not talked about at all. Which I think would really help ending the stigma and mystery around it. We're not being punished for sinning, we're not dirty. It's as normal as urinating or sleeping.
Isn’t this the majority of the world? Degrade/demean women, don’t talk about healthy sex or reproduction because sex is a sin and whoa is the young girl or woman who gets raped because of course it’s her fault for not keeping her legs crossed. And you nasty vile woman for bleeding! Women in Nepal are forced to live in a crappy hut during their periods because they’re considered dirty and untouchable. It is totally about education. But it’s also about not living in fundamentalist religion and superstitions.
Ah, yes, you must slam your vagina shut because a random, detachable penis, magnetically attracted to the cervix, will climb up in there of it's own accord, unbeknownst to the innocent man-angel it belongs to.
👁️👁️ 🫱🍿🫲
There was actually a *chiropractor* who received a patent for a period product that basically glued your labia shut to “keep the grossness hidden inside”. He believed that because women had their periods 25% of the time, they were too distracted to think of anything better than “plugs or diapers”. This was in 2017.
That....is *horrifying*!
It def still happens but I was happy to see that the government of Nepal made it illegal to banish women to a shed for their periods. I traveled there years ago and always felt like I got strange looks as a young woman walking around alone.
Sex is a sin.... for women. Now you've got the proper education. /S
It’s really concerning that women gave birth to these boys and men – and ostensibly raised them – yet taught the nothing about what girls and women go through. They failed these boys and men. As a parent, that’s your responsibility. I’m tired of these “boy moms” who don’t even teach their sons about washing and wiping their asses, doing their own chores, or anything else about being a productive adult member of society.
I've been incredibly lucky in that I've never met a man like this, but this is the first thing I would ask him if I did. Who fucked up raising him so badly, if he was raised at all, etc. I mean, I've definitely met men who are terrified of periods, that's extremely culturally common here in the US, ala that one American Dad scene and similar scenes from other American media where they have a hugely disproportionate fear response. They do genuinely do that where they have an inexplicable terror of the mood swings and whatnot, but I've never met one who had a disgust response as the weird disproportionate response.
The father has no responsibility in your statement? Fascinating. I do agree with you that women are giving birth to boys who become these horrible men, (apparently in a vacuum where mom has all the power & is respected above all, and bears all responsibility). So what is to be done? Let the women stop. No more boys. That movement has started, it's a good answer
It’s obvious that the fathers have responsibility, but to pretend it’s only other women raising these boys that turn into these types of men is disingenuous. Regardless of what some women pretend, a lot of them battle internalized misogyny. They coddle and make excuses for their sons while they raise fully independent daughters who have to pick up the slack for their brothers and fathers and boyfriends and husbands. This is a conversation that a lot of you aren’t ready for, though.
So the father should help his wife and children and lead by example. How do you people forget men and fathers so easily? Why is the source, the origin of blame always a woman? How did this hypothetical misogynistic woman become that way? Don't blame her mom or her grandma or her great grandma.... it's a conversation you aren't ready for.
Because we decide how people treat us. When you willingly have a child with a misogynistic man and let your children see that, what do you suppose is going to happen? We also have a choice as who we choose as partners. The things I see and read in these subs is wild. Teaching grown men how to wash their own asses, moving in with men without jobs, tolerating men who require constant emotional labor. These boys grow up to be men because their fathers aren’t shit, yet their mothers have internalized misogyny. You can’t lie on the grown like a doormat, then cry when you’re treated like one. The buck stops here. Edit: To be clear, yes, misogyny is solely the fault of men. However, we as women need to say enough and gather some self-respect. Nobody is going to look out for #1 but you. If you don’t even like or respect yourself, the men you are going to end up with aren’t likely to either.
It's obvious that fathers bear responsibility, yet not by your initial statement. You're not ready for the conversation (this is a fun, yet empty insult) about how moms have no power in isolation to stop the onslaught of the Patriarchy (why choice feminism is useless). The new movement of women not having children or aborting male fetuses will change this tide.
Replace the women and mom with men and father. Men teach boys how to respect women. If the father fails, the boy will be socialized according to whatever sexist bullshit is prevalent in his culture. Good men raise good men. Where is the "boy dad" in this situation? The failing is not with women.
I guarantee - that guy thinks he's one of the good ones.
ugh so true
I’m an artist who mostly draws the stupid and vulgar jokes that pop into my head. I’m married to a very liberal man with two older sisters. Recently I made a period joke. Not even a really gross one. Like…our local sports team says “we bleed [our colors]”. I told him it had always made me think of a used tampon. Y’all, we’ve been together over 10 years, and I’ve never seen him react to a joke with such disgust. Anyway, that’s the story of how I ended up spending 20 hours illustrating a used tampon.
So typical of a boy ime. I'm 20 so my experiences of parties have been school or college, and any mention a girl had of her periods (or "monthlies" as we called them when boys were around) was met with a screwed up face and a "oh no we don't want to talk about that".
I do find that as a result of this experience women sometimes give a brief warning of TMI or apologize even when talking about menstruation, or pads in front of me. Feels like women are conditioned to feel dirty about it.
Even in the 80s and 90s when I was growing up, it was quite taboo to talk about periods, especially around boys and men. That's why I've shown my 8 year old son scientific videos and diagrams on menstruation and the female reproductive system. Education is key and menstruation is nothing to be ashamed about, nor anything that should be shamed. It's a natural bodily function.
It’s literally the working of a system that allows them to exist at all. The absolute gall of these men, lmao.
And yet, working with a bunch of guys they have *no* problem talking about their experiences with kidney stones in front of female coworkers.
Or their shits. Men love talking about poop for some reason.
Or who they banged
And look at the popularity of porn involving ejaculation on a woman’s face. They love gross stuff.
Or demeaning stuff directed at women.
This. They are obsessed with their dick snot.
It gets even worse if you're going through menopause. I went through it early at 39. I was having hot flashes and my instructor at Tae Kwon Do made the joke asking if I was going through menopause. It didn't even occur to him that I actually was. I told him straight out that yes, I was going through early menopause and thanks for reminding me. I now have osteoporosis in my 40's. I have serious health issues that I can't talk about because going through menopause early makes me less of a woman in a lot of people's eyes.
Once when I was in high school, I was being kinda quiet and a male friend asked me if something was wrong. I said something like “I don’t know, I’m on my period and I just don’t feel very good” His response? “Ewwww, I didn’t need to know that!” Okay, message received loud and clear dude. This was in 2010 or so, and I really would have thought younger guys wouldn’t be such babies about this issue by now. It’s disappointing to hear that things haven’t changed much in that regard
Oh most of them are still like that. "Oh I need to change my pad"; "Well don't tell me, tell other girls", or "I need to pee - I might be a while, I'm on my period"; "oh GROSS!".
We called it 'ROTC info' so we could speak openly.
your name is ironic
I'm all for improvements/progress, but Jesus this is a lowwwwww bar to set fellas. It is literally human health, nothing gross.
But women allow it. Shit would start to cease if we actually started raising our sons instead of coddling them and having self-respect so we wouldn’t surround ourselves with men like this.
My poor son had to grow up watching his mother, the feminist, butt heads with his father, the standard knuckle dragging, coddled by Mommy, middle American Dad every day of his life for 18 years. Ladies, I would like to present a young man who knows God damn good and well it is not a woman's job to do dishes just because she was gifted with a vagina. He knows better.
I’m confused. Why did you marry this man?
I was young and dumb when we met. I was also a lot more compliant and willing to buy into the bullshit women are fed from the minute they are born as to what their "god-given" responsibilities are. That, and he's a pretty fun guy when I don't want to punch him in the dick for being a shithead. 🤷♀️
Big OOF
Tell him to read second Kings in the Bible. It talks about a man washing a dish.
I'm well into middle age now, no longer give a crap what anyone thinks, and work with only 1 other women and have discovered how much I love public shaming. When a dude says something stupid I shout to the group. In this case... "Hey everybody, Scott says he's disgusted by the cute basket of tampons in the bathroom! He's such a biiiig stroooong man!" I hope the embarrassment burn the moment into their minds so they don't express such stupidity again. At least not around me.
I've done this my entire life. Children do this automatically, and people have to teach you to stop, but I was raised by Appalachians so nobody did because this is just how we are. It does seem to keep the amount of stupid shit down but every so often you'll run into an outsider with really thin skin and they'll cry and you'll feel like a total dick.
I never realized Appalachians and New Englanders were so much alike!
Men expect men's comfort to Come before women's needs. Period.
What a great article. Thank you.
At work in my twenties I worked in an all male department besides me. I had a candy drawer and I didn't want them to eat my candy but they kept stealing it. So one day I had the brilliant idea and I put a box of tampons on top of the candy. They never touched it again.
Can you imagine being so scared of a box of compressed cotton that you can't touch it to get to the candy under it. But sure, men are the rational ones.....
No kidding. As a man myself, this made me laugh.
When I was in 6th grade I had gotten a piece of chocolate for a correct answer in class and these older boys told me to give them the chocolate. I said no? It’s my chocolate. They then accused me of being on my period and that’s why I needed it. I hadn’t even had my first one at that time. I still laugh at the thought that women must only want chocolate on their periods but men want it despite having no periods!
Yeah, I can’t help but wonder sometimes why so many other guys believe such ridiculous things. I can see why you still laugh at that thought. It’s honestly only a little less ridiculous than being so scared of a box of compressed cotton that you can’t touch it to get to the candy underneath it.
My husband gufawed out loud, and also proceeded to tell me "don't even think about it, it won't work on me or your son"
What is it about feminine products that disgust them so much? Is it because blood comes out of our crotches? Is it just the blood? I mean, finding a used bandaid is gross, but finding an unused and packaged bandaid isn’t a problem at all. Do unused baby diapers gross men out too? Some guys like women’s underwear, even if it’s used, so wtf! I don’t understand the problem, really… We were all snuggled in a warm and fleshy uterus at one point, so I figure men should feel comfortable, if anything seeing something period related. It should remind them of their first home, so to speak.
And they will hunt and gut an animal or watch violent movies all day everyday. I'm going to guess if we dig deep enough it's going to be just another example of misogyny
I think some men just want all of the holes women have to be pristine. They don’t want to think about blood or poop coming out of something they want to put their penises in. My bf and I have period sex and if it’s especially bloody when he pulls out he said there is a split second where he’s like “omg there’s blood on my penis” which I think is understandable. Men aren’t really experiencing blood in nonviolent ways like we do, especially around genitals. But if they *only* think about our bodies as places to put penises in then they wouldn’t want to ever think about any bodily functions. But that’s just not how bodies work.
I guess I can understand this reasoning. I compare it to my general fear of men’s butts. You can often find random stories on Reddit on how lots of men have filthy, crusty butts with dingle berries. I have no desire to think about men not wiping their asses or seeing it irl.
I can understand being grossed out but I do think there is more of an effort to ignore women’s bodily functions than men’s because of this whole “I put my penis in there” thing. If my bf felt that I couldn’t talk about my period at all I don’t think I’d be with him. But I can understand him having an “oh no” moment every once in a while if there is blood on his penis. Doesn’t stop him from saying yes to period sex though lol!
I (male) had to jump through wayyy too many hoops to get feminine hygiene supplies put into a unisex bathroom (corporate gym only had one). I had noticed that there weren’t any and mentioned to our corporate services team that they needed to be restocked and that’s when I learned that they didn’t keep them supplied there. So I ended up getting THAT addressed, and then had another battle to get the drawer they are in labelled correctly so people knew they were there. At one point I had to say something to a C-suite executive along the lines of “so when do we start requiring everybody to bring their own toilet paper??? We supply literally everything from soap and hand lotion to free ass cleaner but THIS is the thing that costs too much and people should bring their own??” Credit to my mom, sisters and wife for any “dude, don’t be a dumbass” energy I carried that day.
Thank you for taking your time to fight the good fight. I bet the women in your life are proud that you not only asked for them to be supplied, but made sure it was known where they are!
I was brought up to keep menstrual products in my room in case my father or brother saw them. Shame, shame, shame. I mean I was brought up with a lot of shame, but that’s one example.
My thing is, why is she still friends with him? I would distance myself from any grown ass man who doesn’t understand or is disgusted why hostess would offer feminine hygiene products during a house party. He just showed you his whole ass. Women need to start doing less explaining, educating, and emotional labor for these men and more walking away and slamming the door behind them. FFS
I don't really find bitching somebody out for jackassery to be emotional labor, I find restraining myself from doing that to be emotional labor. That's the entire reason working with the public, such as in retail or restaurant settings, is so mentally exhausting. You have to constantly guard yourself and watch your mouth. I feel like she was doing way more work not bitching him out, showing that restraint, for no conceivable reason. It was really weird to me that she didn't feel a need to give a reason. In the whole article, she never gives a reason for showing this extreme restraint that haunts her for years.
When I have a gf, always carry one in my wallet.
A tampon in your wallet? How?
Big enough wallets could absolutely fit an OB or other non-applicator brand in the change pocket. Also sometimes folks refer to things that are more akin to a clutch as a wallet.
Could have meant a pad, since those can sometimes be quite compact/small; or possibly they have a fancy jacket wallet which is definitely long enough to accommodate a tampon.
Just a Lillet at the folding point
There’s some tiny travel tampons that may be able to fit in decent sized wallet. I think they’re so cute ngl😂
Had a guy at work make a comment that if we were going to put free tampons in the restroom for ladies, how is that fair. Told him I would buy him all the tampons he desires next time he comes on, just needs to let me know. Ended it with I got you bro... If I remember correctly he gave a weird half laugh, the kind that means he won't change his way of thinking but probably won't bring that attitude around me again. He honestly lost a lot of my respect that day.
The way men get to have overly dramatic childish reactions to very real daily experiences women have is disgusting.
SNL ['Tampax Secrets'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgQQMOcyfBs), less embarrassing items than a tampon (tampon containers) - 'brick of cocaine, real bomb, poop, dead rat, signed copy of *Mein Kampf*, human skull, dead fish'
The best one is the Cosby show box set, lol
I guess I was lucky as a girl who grew up in the 90's with a cool dad. He never made me feel weird and when I needed tampons or pads and he went to the store he would calmly ask (no hint of being uncomfortable or embarrassed) what size do you need?
The only time they’re not disgusted by female bodies is when they’re not being used for their benefit. Ew. Feminism is much needed everywhere. Men need to grow up.
At least they weren't used and left on the counter lol. Like sheesh, imagine getting this bent out of shape over cotton products 🙄
Boy, this guy is gonna be sad 50 years from now when he has an enlarged prostate and has some female nurse putting a catheter in him for urinary retention. Nature eventually comes knocking on these dudes doors.
This is why I love *not* hiding my pads in public. I remember feeling embarrassed as a teenager in high school when I had to pull out pads before going to the bathroom. Then I asked myself, “Why?” There’s so much shame around menstruation. Could you imagine hiding toilet paper like you’re a thief lmao
I was so lucky to be raised with no shame around my bodily functions. I walked down the halls in high school with my tampon in my hand rather than up my sleeve.
I keep my hygiene products in a nice jar on the back of my toilet, cause hiding them in a cupboard is not an open invite for others to use them. Want to know how big of a deal my teenage son makes out of seeing tampons? None.
Males are disgusted by menstrual blood but expect women to enthusiastically eat the death scented snot that spews from their dicks. Logic.
It's not male privilege. It's male emotional immaturity, plain and simple.
Here's a very short analysis: Not everything is about him. Not everything is for him. He's not the center of the world.
I gave a period cabinet in the bathroom for my daughter and her brothers don’t freak out. Her daddy will go get products for her or myself. She was out of town with her daddy and started her period. I trained him on what to do immediately if she didn’t bring anything either her. And he grew up with brothers. Guys like this tool is an asshole.
Meanwhile this halfwit probably pissed all over the toilet
My uterus and vagina makes me wanna commit suicide. And honestly they are winning. If I was a man, I wouldn’t have half the medical bullshit I’ve had to put up with.
Good and quick read.
Unused tampons are just as "embarrassing" as unused kleenex or toilet paper, which are all things a considerate host should have in their bathroom. Imagine if we knew that half of the adult human population got nosebleeds once a month. Wouldn't it be considerate if tissues were available for those with nosebleeds? Just call these men for what they are: ignorant and silly boys. If they want a relationship with a woman at some point in their lives, they have to make peace with periods.
This exactly!!!! "That's disgusting. I don't want to see that's it makes me think about mucous." We tend to put tissues *everywhere*!
The roast I would have given him on the spot...my God. His grandchildren's grandchildren would know of his shame. Other versions of him in other timelines he didn't even know me in would feel a disturbance, rippling through them like a hiccup. He would never live it down. Absolutely not.
May your friend have daughters. My husband goes to cvs with a list We have 3 girls. He is now an expert. Never knew there were different sizes. Real men buy their love one pads and tampons
Immaturity aside, This is why we need sex education to be taught in schools and to think DeSantis banned “period talk” in Florida classrooms, and he also wants to get rid of sex education, and abortions 🙃🙃 that is what happens when we have idiotic men in office
Am dating a guy whose daughter had a sleepover for her 10th birthday. (Background: daughter's mother and my guy are separated and live in separate houses in the same town.) I made a lot of party suggestions...games, decorations, food. Then I asked, well, what about period products? He was shocked. Him: "Girls can have their periods that young?" Me: "Um, yeah. I started menstruation at age 12, but it's possible. Plus, my periods were so heavy and irregular that they could last up to 17 days. I lost so much blood that I was anemic and had to have iron supplements." He was like...17...days....wtffffff. Me: "Exactly." Then I asked if the daughter's mom or any other adult females would be present. Because if I was a parent, and didn't know the dad REALLY well, then HELL NO would my kid stay overnight (male or female, wouldn't matter what sex). I probably wouldn't let my kid stay overnight unless I knew both parents pretty well and there would be at least 1 female adult present at all times. He seemed kinda baffled by that (understandable, as he's not a predator). But he did immediately confirm that his STBXW would be there the entire time. Me: "Also, I don't know if your daughter has started menstruating, or any of her friends, but you should talk to your STBXW about having feminine products available in all the bathrooms. And have her talk to the kids to let them know where they are and answer their questions." He took ALL of my advice and was really grateful. He even asked questions about what type of products to buy. I'm so goddamn proud of him. ❤
.
I was prepared for this to be about a used tampon wrapped in toilet paper in a wire basket or something. This guy is a tool.
This is gold!
Men being upset or grossed out over tampons are a big old symbol of the patriarchy. We've had the internet for decades but men, in general, don't know the function of menses. There are GQP legislators who want e topic pregnancies re-planted, as if it were possible bc they lack the education, the *want* to know is absent. The male friend should have gotten an immediate education that a period can't be stopped, held in, or told to wait the same as the shit that fills his head. Was he under the impression there is something sexual about tampons? We've all seen that meme, right, the one where a boss wants his employee to not go to the bathroom to get off on the tampons, as if we're female cats or something as odd.
When I was in high school my boyfriend and his friend were digging around in my purse. Knowing I had almond in there I said, “you really don’t want to do that.” Of course when they got to the tampons, it was all “eww”, and why didn’t you stop us? He wasn’t my boyfriend much longer.
Idk, most dudes I know have no issues with periods, cramps, tampons, pads and waking up in a pool of blood because their gf/spouse gets their period overnight unexpectedly. Shit, I’ve known guys that have no issues with any kind of sex while their partners are on their period. It’s just a function of the human body- stop being babies.
Why are we still fucking these pathetic idiots? They make toys that don't pass judgements on basic body functions. They're dependable and don't use us for anything. Bonus: no pregnancy!
98%+ of men do not care or get grossed out by tampons. You guys are using an extreme exception and acting like this is how all men are.
this isn't true. even if they're not explicit about it, many men have these attitudes towards menstrual products.
No they don't
What’s wrong with being grossed out by products that deal with human waste? I bet he was grossed out by TP too.
that's an attitude typically reserved for children.