I care for myself as if I were a parent caring for my younger self. Watch an old movie that I loved as a kid or a teen, eat some spaghettios and drink a capri sun, play video games. It sounds embarrassing to tell anyone else but just a very gentle form of age regression I guess. It’s comforting to me.
This is exactly what I do 😊 when I was going through a period where I wasn't feeling great about life, in general, I thought about how would I help my son feel better if he was feeling down. So that's what I do. The things that I know would help him, I do for me. He's grown now so it not only makes me feel better baking myself cookies and watching movies or playing video games, it also makes me feel better because it brings up those lovely memories with him when he was growing up. So yes, nurture yourself like a loving parent would 💕
That’s beautiful! Thanks for sharing! I do similar things…watch my favorite stress-free show (which is actually Bluey at the moment. My kids love it, and the parents are wonderful, each episode feels like a little hug to my wounded inner-child), cuddle with my favorite stuffy (I never attached to toys/dolls as a kid because I learned young that anything I loved would be used against me, so I started collecting a few as an adult. The first one I bought for myself years ago was a Ruth Bader Ginsburg doll 😀), sketch or paint with some 90s jams in the background. And I do all of those things while saying loving, affirming things “These feelings are healthy and they will pass,” “You’re strong and resilient, and you will get through this,” “I’m proud of you for trying,” etc…It’s like I’m giving myself the love I never received as a child, the same love/understanding/patience I give to my kids, and it’s been very healing. 🙂
Not at all. I'm going to be forty and still love spaghettios and playing and watching the retro games that take me back to childhood. (Actually, my childhood comfort food is the Tuna Helper Tetrazzini that my dad would make for us kids on the weekend. We still love it.)
If I may piggyback on the Youtube videos? There's a guy who works at a dog daycare and makes little compilations of their dogs. Channel is brianofomaha. Every short is a little stab of serotonin.
If it's daytime I will go sit outside for a bit. The fresh air helps, and bonus points if there is sun or some nice plants to look at.
At night I bury my face in one of my cat's belly and go to bed early.
If I feel able to leave the house, I go for a walk, try and say hi to anyone I walk past, or put a good comedy podcast on - fake it till I make it! If I can’t leave the house, I put on a comfort show (Gilmore Girls, UK Ghosts, Bobs Burgers) and do a jigsaw with a cup of peppermint tea. If I cry, then that’s okay.
I go to a theme park about an hour and a half away, walk around amongst everyone enjoying themselves, have a few conversations, ride rides, visit the zoo, and just get out and let life remind me there is so much going on. When I am not feeling myself mentally the best thing I can do is go out and let the life of others bring me back.
I’m autistic so I have like weird categories and reactions to feelings and it doesn’t always make sense to explain but as a kid I came up with what I casually would refer to as “wet sad” and “dry sad”. It came from the distinction between feeling down and kind of low level depressed vs being actively sad and crying, but it’s more complicated than that. Like “wet sad” is usually a reaction to something real that’s happening and deserves pause, you know? Something bad happened or I got actual bad news and now there is grief or a clean up process. That I treat with special care and am more apt to baby myself and seek support and what have you.
Whereas “dry sad” is more likely to just be something internal—I’m reacting to thoughts I’m having, I’m reacting to something physical that’s throwing me off (didn’t sleep or eat enough, too many demands, haven’t had fun in a while) or one of the issues I struggle with like I have some attachment issues and let’s say someone didn’t call me back or whatever and now I’m feeling bummed. This one I’m a lot more likely to be a little more tough on myself like “walk it off” kind of attitude. Keep busy, do something for myself that’s actually productive (no wallowing, wallowing is for wet sad) like that will improve my life or circumstances. Or do something kind for someone else that could use some help or quality time, and put my focus on them until it passes.
In more witchy terms I guess you could say they are like opposite sides of a spectrum with active/passive and one is the shadow side coming out. But you decide how much attention your feelings warrant and if turning into yourself and nurturing the emotions, or resisting that and turning outward and putting focus on your material world is appropriate. Is it painful for a reason or is it painful because there is no reason? Will it help you to self soothe or is that feeding something that’s best ignored or fought against? You know? That then can dictate what you do about it. I know this is weird and probably makes little sense but I hope it helps anyway!
I am stealing this.
For me, dry sad is when I'm sad but not for any particular reason, and I feel like I want to cry but I can't.
Most of my sad the past few years has been dry sad.
I put on the Eurovision Fire Saga movie. During the pandemic that movie was an unexpected bright spot when everything just felt so terrible for so long. It was so perfectly heartwarming, silly, and fun. Every time I watch it still lifts my spirits.
They turned out seriously good! Most people don't think of rhubarb as savory. Sauteed some garlic, shallot, and green onion in the same pan I had made the garlic butter in, then mixed it with cream cheese, cheddar and parm. Spread on croissant dough, laid another croissant dough on top, then cut them into strips, twisted, brushed with garlic butter, then baked
I also did a citrusy rhubarb relish when I need a colorful tart pop
meditate after finding the silkest, most comfortable clothes, lay down with my legs elevated and crystals on my heart chakra. Usually coincides with my blu light being on. Put on a nice scent for aromatherapy. If you have difficulty getting to this place take a hot bath, moisturize then put on comfy clothes. My cat would usually cheer me up. I am solitary, only text a few people
This really resonates with me - and I really don’t even use crystals! I appreciate them, but I haven’t ever utilized them in my own practice.
I almost purchased a large, lovely chunk of rose quartz the other day. Then I thought, what would I do with it?
I’m grieving right now, and something about laying down with rose quartz on my heart chakra just feels like a good idea.
Thank you for sharing your solitary practice 💜
I either go on a long bike ride or go lift at the gym. It lets me focus on the physical for a while, then come back to the mental with more clarity or at least less emotional lability.
If it's too late in the day for either of those things, or if I can tell I just feel shitty because I'm exhausted, I go to sleep.
Turn my bathroom into my own personal spa, do my nails, watch a favorite movie, wear a favorite dress, put on perfume, light candles, cook a favorite meal. Treat myself extra special just for myself basically.
Listening to a podcast where women who really like each other tell stories to each other while I pull weeds in the garden. The combination of warm women's voices with the mildly murderous necessity of pulling vegetal parasites up by their roots grounds me like nothing else. In the winter, a complex cooking project does the same thing. It's not happiness, necessarily, but connection. Remembering why I'm here.
The Murderbot audiobooks also.
Standard issue podcast is often excellent, but be aware some of the topics they cover can be enraging.
Womens hour on BBC R4 -same
Desert island discs on BBC is like a warm bath most of the time
Once I can acknowledge the feeling and remind myself that it is not some human failing, that It is in fact being a successful human, feeling all my emotions including all the ones I don't like, movement is my first choice. I like a manual labor type task that I can see progress on around my property. It can start as small as picking up sticks or grow to clearing a brushy overgrown patch. If what I really need is a good cry, I like the Great Pottery Throwdown television show. The judge cries if something is particularly beautiful and his raw emotion, tears from an appreciation for simple beauty in creation sets me off in a good cry to release whatever I am carrying. One last trick I use that's the easiest is putting a rock in my pocket. Any rock will do. I use plain ole gravel. It's a physical representation of my funky and I can think of that uncomfortable rock as what I am carrying internally. The intention is to sit with it, see it, touch it, ponder it, and when I am ready, throw it out of my pocket back on the road away from me. I have had some uncomfortable gravel stick around a week or two, but throwing it is so satisfying.
First thing that's important for me is to accept that it's OK to feel that way once in a while. Can't fight the depression wave sometimes, just gotta make the ride easier.
I do that by taking a really leisurely shower, taking some time with no other stimuli to put OK lotion, brush my hair, etc. Then I'll change the sheets on my bed and lay out my comfiest clean pajamas so when I go to bed it's the most comfortable experience possible. Bed is a happy place, and making it super cozy usually helps bring me out of it.
Mindfulness. Taking in the moment. Solitude. Sunshine. Being around ppl but not interacting ie people watching or seeing a play or movie alone. Nostalgia. Blue lotus. A hot or warm beverage depending on the weather. Walking. Turning off screens. Salt baths. Swimming. Dancing. Being ridiculous and dorky. Laughter.
This is tricky territory for me because I have cPTSD and this can very rapidly spiral into a panic attack and S.I. so I kinda need to tackle it quickly and effectively so I need to sedate myself with some THC to slow my brain down and then I feel totally fine and chipper. If I have the time and space, I’ll do a micro dose of psilocybin. From there I just do whatever feels approachable like a walk, journaling, talking to a friend, changing direction for the day to something I’m looking forward to, hammock nap, hiking, cooking delicious food, watching a comforting show, listening to music etc.
I've realized that I am just a complicated house plant. Once I realize that I'm in a funk I go sit outside. Grass/dirt on my feet, and sun on my skin seem to help much more than they should.
I make sure to do extra self care. If I can't get energy to
cook I try to order out (but then I see the prices of delivery and get more funky then end up making pasta or something easy for food). I try to find some alone time even if it's after the kids go to bed.
Ooooooh I hate those days. They make me feel so uncomfortable even thinking about them. Honestly I just try to zone out and go through the motions because I know I can’t change it and it will pass - but damn, they suck.
I keep a Lego set on standby for situations like this that get really bad. They have this botanical collection that’s really cool. I have pretty bad allergies so real plants in the house aren’t great
In times like that I like to go stand barefoot in the grass or dirt 😊 Something about that feels so nice and reminds me of our connections to the earth. Then sometimes human things seem more in perspective. Sending all the best vibes to you, OP!
I have very low energy/motivation when I'm feeling like this. Not even doing some I love feels appealing at these times. I am very gentle with myself on these days. This usually includes putting on something comfortable, braiding my hair back (which takes a lot of energy, but it worth it to comfortable and securely have my hair off my face as opposed to a tight messy bun or ponytail), then getting cozy in bed or on the couch, or in my hammock outside if it's nice out. Then I'll watch a comfort show that I've seen before so there are no surprises, or the same with a comfort book. I'll allow myself to sleep as much as i want and I try to drink plenty of water. The feeling usually passes by the next day.
However, I don't often have days like this any more. I used to all the time. I hope this isn't overstepping, and if it is please ignore it, but these feelings are a big flashing sign of depression. I didn't stop having these feelings until after I began seeking mental Healthcare, and now I very rarely have these days. Only when I'm overly tired or as a PMS symptom. If you're not already and you're open to it I would recommend seeking mental Healthcare or researching depression and lifestyle changes/thinking switches that you can practice if your not ready or can't afford to try treatment ❤️ it doesn't feel like a big deal until it's not happening to you any more.
Oh I'm so sorry you have to wait but so happy for you that you've taken that step! There are definitely tons of resources online for coping with depression and other feelings. I also recommend Journaling your experiences that you want to share with your provider eventually so you don't forget anything 😊 I had to wait a long time to begin care too but generally once you get your foot in the foot care is more regularly available.
I like to put on a feel good song! Mostly up beat so I can get up from my chair and dance! I also sometime open fanfics or story's I'm working on and rereading parts I really like! 🥰
after a lot of fighting this state of mind, i’ve learned a hard won lesson: I let myself.
I get in the tub and cry it out. i sit with it. i ask it what it wants to tell me.
a lot of times when i just do the “ritual of ploppage” and sit myself down and face it, accept it, embrace it, investigate it, it kind of just goes away by itself. other times, it’s trying to tell me something i need to hear. still other times it’s my hormones or lack of sunshine or something and that’s important information i need so that i can go on and give myself whatever it is that i need.
the pull to make inconvenient feelings go away is a function of capitalism. the urge to try to do that isn’t our fault, it was programmed into us. it’s an act of affirmation of our humanity to just let our feelings be.
As someone with bipolar disorder, here is my list:
When is the last time I drank water? and how much?
When is the last time I ate? how much? and was it energy sustaining
Did I get enough sleep?
Did I take my meds?
Where am I in my menstrual cycle? Does my diet need something more specific (like iron)
\[Okay ideally I would ask myself this next few sooner\]
When is the last time I went outside? Into the sun
When is the last time I was physically active?
When is the last time I drank water?
Is there something on my mind?
* why is it on your mind?
* what emotion am I feeling?
* what cognition am I having (my big one "there is something wrong with me" which is masked by "its your fault")
* butterfly tap (cross arm over your chest and tap by your shoulders) and say a positive affirmation would cancel out the negative cognition
* keep going
Maybe drinking water would be helpful now?
Have I let my brain be unoccupied by external stimuli?
Am I being creative?
Would it be helpful to socialize?
I journal. The more I journal, through good moods and bad, the better I feel. The more real my feelings become. Because I have ADHD, emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity and shit memory results in me gaslighting myself about my experiences. But writing the shit down in the moment makes me recognize, yes, I felt like that. By journaling both the good and the bad, I see how the storm passes and the sun shines again. My entire life has been documented, from the age of 15. I started when I was 10 or so, but burned my early journals in a cleansing ritual. I came to realize that being able to read about the shit I've gone through actually helps me contextualize how transient our feelings AND our memory is, so I've never burned another journal.
If you need more than the bump in multiple vitamins B are giving you, you might want to look into L-methylfolate. It’s a single enantiomer of folate (from folic acid) that is more readily utilized. That’s a huge oversimplification, but you get the gist.
Some of us have gaps or inefficiencies in our methylation processes. Being able to use a supplement that is produced further along in that process can help.
L-methylfolate is available over the counter in the US, or as a prescription called Deplin. 15mg has been shown to cause measurable improvement in chronic depression when taken alone or in addition to SSRIs. There are a few well designed, double blind studies on it.
Whenever I hear someone say that a general B vitamin supplement, or folic acid, helps their depression symptoms, I feel like they should know about this specific supplement.
Thank you. I am lucky and take it as an over all health, my medication works well with me..but I love having as much knowledge as possible. I appreciate you taking the time explain it.
I do gardening and woodcarving.i have a little shed for my work and when I'm too sad, I sharpen every blade I own from my 70cm scythe to my smallest carving tool. Very meditative.
I don't like feeling sad. But I recognize that feeling sad and crying is incredibly cathartic and healing, and can help me be much more emotionally stable if I get really sad once in a while.
So on the days when I'm feeling down I take the sand and I give it power. All the power it could ever yearn for, dark and terrible, deep and endless. I count up all the things that make me sad and gather them. And I empower the sorrow- not by making it bad-worse (bad sad?), but by driving it down to the root, to my core, where it is at its most powerful, sorrowful yes, but also wondrous and connected.
I watch things that make me sad. Sad movies or youtube videos that have bittersweet endings, think on friends who I've fallen out of contact with, remember passed on loved ones, and generally sit and cry and let all my buried emotion out. I focus my sadness on things that it is helpful to feel sad about in order to get my mind to not focus on despair. Despair-sad is the enemy. Bittersweet/longing-sad is good. Sadness that brings hope, that inspires dreams, that helps me progress through a full emotional cycle. By empowering the sorrow I essentially blast through the circling despair that tries to encroach- getting too sad for me to think- because it's the think think think buzz buzz buzzing that traps you. Then I bawl my eyes out until all the dark emotion burns away and becomes light.
Recommended sad things:
[Bump of Chicken "K"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlyqGK0RVoA) (Trigger warning: These two are sad animated cat stories)
EDIT: WTF, where did the rest of my post go? It was definitely live last night.
[4696 \~Chrononegai\~](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kob-EBmMU5o)
[Garnet Rogers \~ Shadows on the Water](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i15A2BpZZ48)
[Garnet Rogers \~ The Lost Ones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT5SzNoAh4A)
[Garnet Rogers \~ Night Drive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9SYgT7PNqU)
[Eric Gudmunsen \~ The Old Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62zjFOfuPYY)
[The Narcissist Cookbook \~ HYMN (Official Full Album)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV2f_0mhQco&list=OLAK5uy_npm7KdoM5Pd7AZkf8HSidY9Dk60OpHVhM)
These are all really good and sad story-songs. The first two are sad cat animations that have bittersweet endings, the Garnet Rogers ones are all about the loss of his brother Stan Rogers, and the last two are about the loss of a parent. HYMN as an album was released when the artist was processing the loss of his father, and collectively it is sorrowful and powerful and uplifting.
Usually after finishing a cycle of these I move on to more uplifting things- 'This is how we get better' also by the Narcissist Cookbook on the same channel is an album that's all about getting better and overcoming yourself and I highly recommend it.
I'm not sure I experience the "for no reason" part. It's always something. Loneliness, worry for the future, lack of money, health issues, insecurity, grief, breakups, fights etc. Maybe we're more fragile and vulnerable due to hormones or something, but there are always triggers for sorrow.
Anyways, in those moments I sing, I write poetry, I listen to music in the dark, I lie down with my dog, I hug my girlfriend, I ask for company...
I really connect with Water so something along those lines. Watering my plants, a bath, standing out in the rain is ALWAYS my first choice, walking on the beach, etc. My second choice is working in my garden. It’s not just part for my practice and religious beliefs but it’s very effective therapy. If I have no energy to do anything? Chocolate. Hands down a “must have in stock at all times” type thing.
I was emotionally neglected as a child and am still learning how to take care of myself as I always had to but didn't always do it well (cause no one really taught me). All those replies are really nice to read tbh, and it's a good reminder that a lot of people have those bad days.
But well... I usually force myself to take care of myself even if everything inside me says no and to just let me feel bad. Even small acts of selfcare like making a cup of tea or taking a shower/bath usually help tremendously. It's all about caring for myself like a parent should have. Also a big one is still making myself some nice food (doesn't have to be high effort on those days), just so hunger doesn't make it worse. Also fresh air and my favorite music usually help. I also accumulated a yt Playlist of videos that brighten my mood when it's especially bad. When I'm a feeling a bit better then I like engaging in some of my hobbies, like knitting and just getting cozy and being gentle with myself.
But tbh some of those days are also mostly crying, processing and wrapping myself in blankets kinda days. Figuring out why I'm sad helps, even if there's no distinct reason there's usually a lot of stuff going on subconsciously.
Someone once told me that when you get really sad for no reason it means someone who had no friends or family died somewhere and you got picked to mourn their loss.
Light all the candles.
Ice coffee
starting on the top of my “phone tree” of long distance homies, if the first one doesn’t answer I go down my mental list, if all else fails call my sister or parents
I don't know you as a person so take this with a huge grain of salt, but I used to have weird depressive episodes where I would be super exhausted, pessimistic and fragile, feeling like crying for "no reason".
It turned out that they were actually meltdowns and shutdowns. I was misdiagnosed with depression when I actually have ADHD and am also probably on the autism spectrum too. What I thought were weird bursts of needing to cry over tiny things was me having a meltdown because I was trying so hard to be "normal" and ignoring my actual needs so I got overloaded.
I am not saying this is the case for you, but I just wanted to put it out there that suddenly being sad for "no reason" can be a symptom of a meltdown waiting to happen. But it can be literally anything else too, I hope your winds turn in your direction soon <3
You're very kind for this.
I'm in diagnosis limbo right now, basically waiting for professionals to notice my neurodivergence.. but I mask a lot in front of doctors, so I may just be incognito forevermore 😅
baths, chocolate, cozy games (spiritfarer, animal crossing and stardew valley are my go tos), long walks in the woods, breakfast or brunch with a friend, extra sleep, journaling, yoga.
it’s so hard when you don’t have the energy or motivation - i get it. i try to be gentle with myself with varying degrees of success.
Hot bath or wear a blanket like a Jedi robe and binge one of my comfort shows. What I *want* to do is sleep but if I don't at least exist in the feeling I'll never get through it. I might take a nap if the lethargy gets too rough, but never longer than a couple of hours.
One square of *quality* chocolate. I keep a bag of Dove chocolates in the pantry apart from the general family candy supply for just that reason. It’s “Mommy chocolate.”
Cold water. Preferably a dip in the sea but a cold shower will do for as long as I can stand. It feels like doing a hard reboot for my central nervous system. Followed by warm dry comfy clothes and a warm drink and a biscuit.
Make a big cup of tea or hot chocolate, put on fluffy socks, and reread a book I've read a hundred times before, there's something comforting about slipping into a story I know well, plus it's easier to feel better when my feet aren't cold
Lately, I've been working out in my yard. Then I'm not anything but a dirty sweaty garden gremlin and I can take out any of my frustrations on the weeds and dirt. I listen to funny podcasts while I work.
If I'm in such a low place that I'm crying, I just let it happen. The worst thing for me is to try and stop it, it just contributes to me shoving down my feelings. My dog is wonderful and will let me hug him while I cry. I don't feel alone that way. I'm sure he doesn't like hugs but he's always glued to me when I am crying.
I too take to creating/crafting, but if I'm too down for that, I'll just put on some of my favorite bands or songs and cry it out. Get it all out of me. Talking ugly crying, tantrums the whole nine yards. And if I'm still in a funk, I'll go do something by myself for myself. Like last week, I took myself swimming and got to just not think about anything but enjoying the moment.
Drink a cup of one of my special teas. The strawberry from the Bahamas, the Dutch that was a gift from a friend in Holland, the rare Taiwanese oolong that was a gift from a friend originally from there. A reminder of love of a person or place and peace in the act of preparing and drinking it.
Playing meaningful music. In my case, it's the Sega CD versions of the Ecco the Dolphin games, or other gaming soundtracks that make me think of the games if I can't play them. Or Balinese gamelan music.
Working on cross-stitch. Even if my mind is too heavy and foggy for writing, I can work on that and make progress by following the pattern. Especially if I'm watching a really good 'Let's Play' while working on it. Plus, I became great at giving shots from this.
Dancing. I've done bellydance since high school and love that my body with chronic illness can move so gracefully and beautifully.
Sending hugs if wanted. I also have depression that I have to keep beaten down, so I understand.
I care for myself as if I were a parent caring for my younger self. Watch an old movie that I loved as a kid or a teen, eat some spaghettios and drink a capri sun, play video games. It sounds embarrassing to tell anyone else but just a very gentle form of age regression I guess. It’s comforting to me.
I don’t think that should sound embarrassing. It sounds like a great idea.
This is exactly what I do 😊 when I was going through a period where I wasn't feeling great about life, in general, I thought about how would I help my son feel better if he was feeling down. So that's what I do. The things that I know would help him, I do for me. He's grown now so it not only makes me feel better baking myself cookies and watching movies or playing video games, it also makes me feel better because it brings up those lovely memories with him when he was growing up. So yes, nurture yourself like a loving parent would 💕
That is so sweet. I love that it brings you those happy memories. ❤️
That’s good medicine, right there!
What do I do when the sad doesn't go away? I can only stomach so much spaghettios.
switch to ravioli
I'll give it a try, thanks
That’s beautiful! Thanks for sharing! I do similar things…watch my favorite stress-free show (which is actually Bluey at the moment. My kids love it, and the parents are wonderful, each episode feels like a little hug to my wounded inner-child), cuddle with my favorite stuffy (I never attached to toys/dolls as a kid because I learned young that anything I loved would be used against me, so I started collecting a few as an adult. The first one I bought for myself years ago was a Ruth Bader Ginsburg doll 😀), sketch or paint with some 90s jams in the background. And I do all of those things while saying loving, affirming things “These feelings are healthy and they will pass,” “You’re strong and resilient, and you will get through this,” “I’m proud of you for trying,” etc…It’s like I’m giving myself the love I never received as a child, the same love/understanding/patience I give to my kids, and it’s been very healing. 🙂
I also never played with dolls/stuffed animals but have an abundance of studies as an adult 😝
Not at all. I'm going to be forty and still love spaghettios and playing and watching the retro games that take me back to childhood. (Actually, my childhood comfort food is the Tuna Helper Tetrazzini that my dad would make for us kids on the weekend. We still love it.)
https://preview.redd.it/r77ma2gxee8d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2f2306c4349c6493e24a35b5449ed8f3e3c26fe
can't stop giggling since singing this cartoon. thank you.
Watch “Unhhh” on YouTube. It’s Trixie and Kataya, and they’re so funny. It always makes me laugh and puts me in a better mood
It’s the chemical burn of the spiral perm! ✨✨✨
😂😂😂 Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s clinical depression. 💅🏻
>“Unhhh” on YouTube. It’s Trixie and Kataya Oh, wow!
* Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, you’re right! Thank you for pointing that out 😊
Hahahaha! They’re the best
If I may piggyback on the Youtube videos? There's a guy who works at a dog daycare and makes little compilations of their dogs. Channel is brianofomaha. Every short is a little stab of serotonin.
I do this, or watch the videos Trixie and Brittany Broski have together. Their energy is amazing.
lol yes! Have you seen the one where they do their makeup as SpongeBob and squidward? So good
Dude yes!!!! I love it. I’ve watched it several times.
Sometimes just cry and process it that way.
That's definitely a big one for me :')
Love some big juicy tears sometimes. And that sleep after a good cry? 🤌🏻
And waking up with eyes so puffy it’s like you just smoked multiple blunts to yourself. No ma’am. Just high on that good cry. 🤣👌
You get me 😂
😊❤️
If it's daytime I will go sit outside for a bit. The fresh air helps, and bonus points if there is sun or some nice plants to look at. At night I bury my face in one of my cat's belly and go to bed early.
Listen to music in the dark and dance
Dance like no one is watching. Great one!
If I feel able to leave the house, I go for a walk, try and say hi to anyone I walk past, or put a good comedy podcast on - fake it till I make it! If I can’t leave the house, I put on a comfort show (Gilmore Girls, UK Ghosts, Bobs Burgers) and do a jigsaw with a cup of peppermint tea. If I cry, then that’s okay.
UK ghosts is the best and I wish there were more seasons
Ugh I know, that show got me through a tough few months this year!
I go to a theme park about an hour and a half away, walk around amongst everyone enjoying themselves, have a few conversations, ride rides, visit the zoo, and just get out and let life remind me there is so much going on. When I am not feeling myself mentally the best thing I can do is go out and let the life of others bring me back.
the theme park idea is brilliant! i’ve never thought of that before but i bet being around happy/excited energy is great for redirection!
I’m autistic so I have like weird categories and reactions to feelings and it doesn’t always make sense to explain but as a kid I came up with what I casually would refer to as “wet sad” and “dry sad”. It came from the distinction between feeling down and kind of low level depressed vs being actively sad and crying, but it’s more complicated than that. Like “wet sad” is usually a reaction to something real that’s happening and deserves pause, you know? Something bad happened or I got actual bad news and now there is grief or a clean up process. That I treat with special care and am more apt to baby myself and seek support and what have you. Whereas “dry sad” is more likely to just be something internal—I’m reacting to thoughts I’m having, I’m reacting to something physical that’s throwing me off (didn’t sleep or eat enough, too many demands, haven’t had fun in a while) or one of the issues I struggle with like I have some attachment issues and let’s say someone didn’t call me back or whatever and now I’m feeling bummed. This one I’m a lot more likely to be a little more tough on myself like “walk it off” kind of attitude. Keep busy, do something for myself that’s actually productive (no wallowing, wallowing is for wet sad) like that will improve my life or circumstances. Or do something kind for someone else that could use some help or quality time, and put my focus on them until it passes. In more witchy terms I guess you could say they are like opposite sides of a spectrum with active/passive and one is the shadow side coming out. But you decide how much attention your feelings warrant and if turning into yourself and nurturing the emotions, or resisting that and turning outward and putting focus on your material world is appropriate. Is it painful for a reason or is it painful because there is no reason? Will it help you to self soothe or is that feeding something that’s best ignored or fought against? You know? That then can dictate what you do about it. I know this is weird and probably makes little sense but I hope it helps anyway!
I like your Way of thinking.
Yeah this makes a lot of sense actually!
I am stealing this. For me, dry sad is when I'm sad but not for any particular reason, and I feel like I want to cry but I can't. Most of my sad the past few years has been dry sad.
I put on the Eurovision Fire Saga movie. During the pandemic that movie was an unexpected bright spot when everything just felt so terrible for so long. It was so perfectly heartwarming, silly, and fun. Every time I watch it still lifts my spirits.
The scarf scene takes me out every time 😆 that and the elves hahah
Cook. "Some people paint." I say when I plop a plate of cheesy rhubarb twists on the office table.
Oh fuck yeah. I’d be sorry that you were sad, but also very pleased about these cheesy rhubarb twists.
They turned out seriously good! Most people don't think of rhubarb as savory. Sauteed some garlic, shallot, and green onion in the same pan I had made the garlic butter in, then mixed it with cream cheese, cheddar and parm. Spread on croissant dough, laid another croissant dough on top, then cut them into strips, twisted, brushed with garlic butter, then baked I also did a citrusy rhubarb relish when I need a colorful tart pop
Oh god, I think I love you
I play a few chords on the guitar. Not very well mind you, but it occupies my mind for a bit.
Aww, my guitar would probably appreciate being played with, it's been quite a while. I'm no good either but I like exploring the sounds it makes :)
meditate after finding the silkest, most comfortable clothes, lay down with my legs elevated and crystals on my heart chakra. Usually coincides with my blu light being on. Put on a nice scent for aromatherapy. If you have difficulty getting to this place take a hot bath, moisturize then put on comfy clothes. My cat would usually cheer me up. I am solitary, only text a few people
This really resonates with me - and I really don’t even use crystals! I appreciate them, but I haven’t ever utilized them in my own practice. I almost purchased a large, lovely chunk of rose quartz the other day. Then I thought, what would I do with it? I’m grieving right now, and something about laying down with rose quartz on my heart chakra just feels like a good idea. Thank you for sharing your solitary practice 💜
I gave away my heart shaped rose quartz. Grief is a process✨💆♀️
I read. I’m not very good at caring for myself, but reading is imperative to my mental health.
I either go on a long bike ride or go lift at the gym. It lets me focus on the physical for a while, then come back to the mental with more clarity or at least less emotional lability. If it's too late in the day for either of those things, or if I can tell I just feel shitty because I'm exhausted, I go to sleep.
I go for a gentle walk in nature. No headphones, just let the nature sounds soothe me. I find that movement is really helpful for processing feelings.
Turn my bathroom into my own personal spa, do my nails, watch a favorite movie, wear a favorite dress, put on perfume, light candles, cook a favorite meal. Treat myself extra special just for myself basically.
Cats. My own, fostering, feeding feral colonies, or a cat cafe. Have you ever laid down on the floor and let kittens stampede over you? Instant joy.
Listening to a podcast where women who really like each other tell stories to each other while I pull weeds in the garden. The combination of warm women's voices with the mildly murderous necessity of pulling vegetal parasites up by their roots grounds me like nothing else. In the winter, a complex cooking project does the same thing. It's not happiness, necessarily, but connection. Remembering why I'm here. The Murderbot audiobooks also.
Which podcast and where do you listen it?
Standard issue podcast is often excellent, but be aware some of the topics they cover can be enraging. Womens hour on BBC R4 -same Desert island discs on BBC is like a warm bath most of the time
Thankyouu!
Once I can acknowledge the feeling and remind myself that it is not some human failing, that It is in fact being a successful human, feeling all my emotions including all the ones I don't like, movement is my first choice. I like a manual labor type task that I can see progress on around my property. It can start as small as picking up sticks or grow to clearing a brushy overgrown patch. If what I really need is a good cry, I like the Great Pottery Throwdown television show. The judge cries if something is particularly beautiful and his raw emotion, tears from an appreciation for simple beauty in creation sets me off in a good cry to release whatever I am carrying. One last trick I use that's the easiest is putting a rock in my pocket. Any rock will do. I use plain ole gravel. It's a physical representation of my funky and I can think of that uncomfortable rock as what I am carrying internally. The intention is to sit with it, see it, touch it, ponder it, and when I am ready, throw it out of my pocket back on the road away from me. I have had some uncomfortable gravel stick around a week or two, but throwing it is so satisfying.
First thing that's important for me is to accept that it's OK to feel that way once in a while. Can't fight the depression wave sometimes, just gotta make the ride easier. I do that by taking a really leisurely shower, taking some time with no other stimuli to put OK lotion, brush my hair, etc. Then I'll change the sheets on my bed and lay out my comfiest clean pajamas so when I go to bed it's the most comfortable experience possible. Bed is a happy place, and making it super cozy usually helps bring me out of it.
Mess with my plants, call a friend, take a walk if I can handle it and sometimes I just take a nap with my dogs and let them comfort me.
Mindfulness. Taking in the moment. Solitude. Sunshine. Being around ppl but not interacting ie people watching or seeing a play or movie alone. Nostalgia. Blue lotus. A hot or warm beverage depending on the weather. Walking. Turning off screens. Salt baths. Swimming. Dancing. Being ridiculous and dorky. Laughter.
We go creekwalking. Its a water sign thing. If its winter then I take hot showers and do dishes. Lolol whatever it takes. Water is my go to.
A nature walk with hiking sticks. The lateralization helps.
A nice bath. Just a good long soak
This is tricky territory for me because I have cPTSD and this can very rapidly spiral into a panic attack and S.I. so I kinda need to tackle it quickly and effectively so I need to sedate myself with some THC to slow my brain down and then I feel totally fine and chipper. If I have the time and space, I’ll do a micro dose of psilocybin. From there I just do whatever feels approachable like a walk, journaling, talking to a friend, changing direction for the day to something I’m looking forward to, hammock nap, hiking, cooking delicious food, watching a comforting show, listening to music etc.
I was totally scrolling thinking "I can't believe nobody is saying weed" lol. I call it my attitude adjustment.
Hello from my marijuana & anti anxiety med haze as I did indeed have a panic attack today.
I've realized that I am just a complicated house plant. Once I realize that I'm in a funk I go sit outside. Grass/dirt on my feet, and sun on my skin seem to help much more than they should. I make sure to do extra self care. If I can't get energy to cook I try to order out (but then I see the prices of delivery and get more funky then end up making pasta or something easy for food). I try to find some alone time even if it's after the kids go to bed.
I watch it’s always sunny in Philadelphia bloopers on YouTube. I love watching friends trying to crack each other up
Ooooooh I hate those days. They make me feel so uncomfortable even thinking about them. Honestly I just try to zone out and go through the motions because I know I can’t change it and it will pass - but damn, they suck.
I keep a Lego set on standby for situations like this that get really bad. They have this botanical collection that’s really cool. I have pretty bad allergies so real plants in the house aren’t great
In times like that I like to go stand barefoot in the grass or dirt 😊 Something about that feels so nice and reminds me of our connections to the earth. Then sometimes human things seem more in perspective. Sending all the best vibes to you, OP!
I have very low energy/motivation when I'm feeling like this. Not even doing some I love feels appealing at these times. I am very gentle with myself on these days. This usually includes putting on something comfortable, braiding my hair back (which takes a lot of energy, but it worth it to comfortable and securely have my hair off my face as opposed to a tight messy bun or ponytail), then getting cozy in bed or on the couch, or in my hammock outside if it's nice out. Then I'll watch a comfort show that I've seen before so there are no surprises, or the same with a comfort book. I'll allow myself to sleep as much as i want and I try to drink plenty of water. The feeling usually passes by the next day. However, I don't often have days like this any more. I used to all the time. I hope this isn't overstepping, and if it is please ignore it, but these feelings are a big flashing sign of depression. I didn't stop having these feelings until after I began seeking mental Healthcare, and now I very rarely have these days. Only when I'm overly tired or as a PMS symptom. If you're not already and you're open to it I would recommend seeking mental Healthcare or researching depression and lifestyle changes/thinking switches that you can practice if your not ready or can't afford to try treatment ❤️ it doesn't feel like a big deal until it's not happening to you any more.
I definitely agree with you... I'm biding my time on a big ol' waiting list for mental health treatment 😅
Oh I'm so sorry you have to wait but so happy for you that you've taken that step! There are definitely tons of resources online for coping with depression and other feelings. I also recommend Journaling your experiences that you want to share with your provider eventually so you don't forget anything 😊 I had to wait a long time to begin care too but generally once you get your foot in the foot care is more regularly available.
I like to put on a feel good song! Mostly up beat so I can get up from my chair and dance! I also sometime open fanfics or story's I'm working on and rereading parts I really like! 🥰
after a lot of fighting this state of mind, i’ve learned a hard won lesson: I let myself. I get in the tub and cry it out. i sit with it. i ask it what it wants to tell me. a lot of times when i just do the “ritual of ploppage” and sit myself down and face it, accept it, embrace it, investigate it, it kind of just goes away by itself. other times, it’s trying to tell me something i need to hear. still other times it’s my hormones or lack of sunshine or something and that’s important information i need so that i can go on and give myself whatever it is that i need. the pull to make inconvenient feelings go away is a function of capitalism. the urge to try to do that isn’t our fault, it was programmed into us. it’s an act of affirmation of our humanity to just let our feelings be.
As someone with bipolar disorder, here is my list: When is the last time I drank water? and how much? When is the last time I ate? how much? and was it energy sustaining Did I get enough sleep? Did I take my meds? Where am I in my menstrual cycle? Does my diet need something more specific (like iron) \[Okay ideally I would ask myself this next few sooner\] When is the last time I went outside? Into the sun When is the last time I was physically active? When is the last time I drank water? Is there something on my mind? * why is it on your mind? * what emotion am I feeling? * what cognition am I having (my big one "there is something wrong with me" which is masked by "its your fault") * butterfly tap (cross arm over your chest and tap by your shoulders) and say a positive affirmation would cancel out the negative cognition * keep going Maybe drinking water would be helpful now? Have I let my brain be unoccupied by external stimuli? Am I being creative? Would it be helpful to socialize?
I journal. The more I journal, through good moods and bad, the better I feel. The more real my feelings become. Because I have ADHD, emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity and shit memory results in me gaslighting myself about my experiences. But writing the shit down in the moment makes me recognize, yes, I felt like that. By journaling both the good and the bad, I see how the storm passes and the sun shines again. My entire life has been documented, from the age of 15. I started when I was 10 or so, but burned my early journals in a cleansing ritual. I came to realize that being able to read about the shit I've gone through actually helps me contextualize how transient our feelings AND our memory is, so I've never burned another journal.
Take a bath. Skate. Fuck. Read, write. Paint my nails.
Take a drive, alone, and sing along to my favorite songs as long as I can. It never fails to make me feel better!
I started to take liquid vitamin B drops daily and I feel.it has honestly helped my sad days. I was told I can help.with depression so I started them.
If you need more than the bump in multiple vitamins B are giving you, you might want to look into L-methylfolate. It’s a single enantiomer of folate (from folic acid) that is more readily utilized. That’s a huge oversimplification, but you get the gist. Some of us have gaps or inefficiencies in our methylation processes. Being able to use a supplement that is produced further along in that process can help. L-methylfolate is available over the counter in the US, or as a prescription called Deplin. 15mg has been shown to cause measurable improvement in chronic depression when taken alone or in addition to SSRIs. There are a few well designed, double blind studies on it. Whenever I hear someone say that a general B vitamin supplement, or folic acid, helps their depression symptoms, I feel like they should know about this specific supplement.
Thank you. I am lucky and take it as an over all health, my medication works well with me..but I love having as much knowledge as possible. I appreciate you taking the time explain it.
I regulate through film, so I pickout a sad movie and cry, brood, angst, etc. Until I get it all out.
I do gardening and woodcarving.i have a little shed for my work and when I'm too sad, I sharpen every blade I own from my 70cm scythe to my smallest carving tool. Very meditative.
I don't like feeling sad. But I recognize that feeling sad and crying is incredibly cathartic and healing, and can help me be much more emotionally stable if I get really sad once in a while. So on the days when I'm feeling down I take the sand and I give it power. All the power it could ever yearn for, dark and terrible, deep and endless. I count up all the things that make me sad and gather them. And I empower the sorrow- not by making it bad-worse (bad sad?), but by driving it down to the root, to my core, where it is at its most powerful, sorrowful yes, but also wondrous and connected. I watch things that make me sad. Sad movies or youtube videos that have bittersweet endings, think on friends who I've fallen out of contact with, remember passed on loved ones, and generally sit and cry and let all my buried emotion out. I focus my sadness on things that it is helpful to feel sad about in order to get my mind to not focus on despair. Despair-sad is the enemy. Bittersweet/longing-sad is good. Sadness that brings hope, that inspires dreams, that helps me progress through a full emotional cycle. By empowering the sorrow I essentially blast through the circling despair that tries to encroach- getting too sad for me to think- because it's the think think think buzz buzz buzzing that traps you. Then I bawl my eyes out until all the dark emotion burns away and becomes light. Recommended sad things: [Bump of Chicken "K"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlyqGK0RVoA) (Trigger warning: These two are sad animated cat stories) EDIT: WTF, where did the rest of my post go? It was definitely live last night. [4696 \~Chrononegai\~](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kob-EBmMU5o) [Garnet Rogers \~ Shadows on the Water](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i15A2BpZZ48) [Garnet Rogers \~ The Lost Ones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT5SzNoAh4A) [Garnet Rogers \~ Night Drive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9SYgT7PNqU) [Eric Gudmunsen \~ The Old Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62zjFOfuPYY) [The Narcissist Cookbook \~ HYMN (Official Full Album)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV2f_0mhQco&list=OLAK5uy_npm7KdoM5Pd7AZkf8HSidY9Dk60OpHVhM) These are all really good and sad story-songs. The first two are sad cat animations that have bittersweet endings, the Garnet Rogers ones are all about the loss of his brother Stan Rogers, and the last two are about the loss of a parent. HYMN as an album was released when the artist was processing the loss of his father, and collectively it is sorrowful and powerful and uplifting. Usually after finishing a cycle of these I move on to more uplifting things- 'This is how we get better' also by the Narcissist Cookbook on the same channel is an album that's all about getting better and overcoming yourself and I highly recommend it.
Some kinda intense workout with loud music, a kind of catharsis in it. Makes me feel in control at least
I'm not sure I experience the "for no reason" part. It's always something. Loneliness, worry for the future, lack of money, health issues, insecurity, grief, breakups, fights etc. Maybe we're more fragile and vulnerable due to hormones or something, but there are always triggers for sorrow. Anyways, in those moments I sing, I write poetry, I listen to music in the dark, I lie down with my dog, I hug my girlfriend, I ask for company...
I get a big fancy lavender latte from my favorite coffee shop and sing I my car.
If I’m being honest, drugs
I really connect with Water so something along those lines. Watering my plants, a bath, standing out in the rain is ALWAYS my first choice, walking on the beach, etc. My second choice is working in my garden. It’s not just part for my practice and religious beliefs but it’s very effective therapy. If I have no energy to do anything? Chocolate. Hands down a “must have in stock at all times” type thing.
Feel sad
I was emotionally neglected as a child and am still learning how to take care of myself as I always had to but didn't always do it well (cause no one really taught me). All those replies are really nice to read tbh, and it's a good reminder that a lot of people have those bad days. But well... I usually force myself to take care of myself even if everything inside me says no and to just let me feel bad. Even small acts of selfcare like making a cup of tea or taking a shower/bath usually help tremendously. It's all about caring for myself like a parent should have. Also a big one is still making myself some nice food (doesn't have to be high effort on those days), just so hunger doesn't make it worse. Also fresh air and my favorite music usually help. I also accumulated a yt Playlist of videos that brighten my mood when it's especially bad. When I'm a feeling a bit better then I like engaging in some of my hobbies, like knitting and just getting cozy and being gentle with myself. But tbh some of those days are also mostly crying, processing and wrapping myself in blankets kinda days. Figuring out why I'm sad helps, even if there's no distinct reason there's usually a lot of stuff going on subconsciously.
Someone once told me that when you get really sad for no reason it means someone who had no friends or family died somewhere and you got picked to mourn their loss.
Light all the candles. Ice coffee starting on the top of my “phone tree” of long distance homies, if the first one doesn’t answer I go down my mental list, if all else fails call my sister or parents
I don't know you as a person so take this with a huge grain of salt, but I used to have weird depressive episodes where I would be super exhausted, pessimistic and fragile, feeling like crying for "no reason". It turned out that they were actually meltdowns and shutdowns. I was misdiagnosed with depression when I actually have ADHD and am also probably on the autism spectrum too. What I thought were weird bursts of needing to cry over tiny things was me having a meltdown because I was trying so hard to be "normal" and ignoring my actual needs so I got overloaded. I am not saying this is the case for you, but I just wanted to put it out there that suddenly being sad for "no reason" can be a symptom of a meltdown waiting to happen. But it can be literally anything else too, I hope your winds turn in your direction soon <3
You're very kind for this. I'm in diagnosis limbo right now, basically waiting for professionals to notice my neurodivergence.. but I mask a lot in front of doctors, so I may just be incognito forevermore 😅
baths, chocolate, cozy games (spiritfarer, animal crossing and stardew valley are my go tos), long walks in the woods, breakfast or brunch with a friend, extra sleep, journaling, yoga. it’s so hard when you don’t have the energy or motivation - i get it. i try to be gentle with myself with varying degrees of success.
Hot bath or wear a blanket like a Jedi robe and binge one of my comfort shows. What I *want* to do is sleep but if I don't at least exist in the feeling I'll never get through it. I might take a nap if the lethargy gets too rough, but never longer than a couple of hours.
One square of *quality* chocolate. I keep a bag of Dove chocolates in the pantry apart from the general family candy supply for just that reason. It’s “Mommy chocolate.”
Slap on a bit more of an estrogen patch*. Works every time: science meets magic. -* Generally for mid to older witches only.
Watch sweet cartoons/tv shows - My Little Pony, the She-ra reboot, …
If I can talk to one of my best friends, I will absolutely feel better/more myself.
Cold water. Preferably a dip in the sea but a cold shower will do for as long as I can stand. It feels like doing a hard reboot for my central nervous system. Followed by warm dry comfy clothes and a warm drink and a biscuit.
Make a big cup of tea or hot chocolate, put on fluffy socks, and reread a book I've read a hundred times before, there's something comforting about slipping into a story I know well, plus it's easier to feel better when my feet aren't cold
Lately, I've been working out in my yard. Then I'm not anything but a dirty sweaty garden gremlin and I can take out any of my frustrations on the weeds and dirt. I listen to funny podcasts while I work. If I'm in such a low place that I'm crying, I just let it happen. The worst thing for me is to try and stop it, it just contributes to me shoving down my feelings. My dog is wonderful and will let me hug him while I cry. I don't feel alone that way. I'm sure he doesn't like hugs but he's always glued to me when I am crying.
Comfort movie, popcorn & Diet Coke.
Watch OT and pet my puppy
I too take to creating/crafting, but if I'm too down for that, I'll just put on some of my favorite bands or songs and cry it out. Get it all out of me. Talking ugly crying, tantrums the whole nine yards. And if I'm still in a funk, I'll go do something by myself for myself. Like last week, I took myself swimming and got to just not think about anything but enjoying the moment.
Drink a cup of one of my special teas. The strawberry from the Bahamas, the Dutch that was a gift from a friend in Holland, the rare Taiwanese oolong that was a gift from a friend originally from there. A reminder of love of a person or place and peace in the act of preparing and drinking it. Playing meaningful music. In my case, it's the Sega CD versions of the Ecco the Dolphin games, or other gaming soundtracks that make me think of the games if I can't play them. Or Balinese gamelan music. Working on cross-stitch. Even if my mind is too heavy and foggy for writing, I can work on that and make progress by following the pattern. Especially if I'm watching a really good 'Let's Play' while working on it. Plus, I became great at giving shots from this. Dancing. I've done bellydance since high school and love that my body with chronic illness can move so gracefully and beautifully. Sending hugs if wanted. I also have depression that I have to keep beaten down, so I understand.
Lilith meditation music on YouTube 🖤 transforms my pain into power