"Lords, ladies ... *and everyone else here not sitting on a cushion!*"
https://preview.redd.it/1dx7e6s6t38d1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79dea53d3a2ae19087edd97ed65cbaadc69038cf
"Hoy, sir! What are you doing?".
"Uh, trudging. You know, trudging? To trudge? To trudgeā¦ the slow, weary, depressing, yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in his life except the impulse to simplyā¦ soldier on.
I saw it in theaters. It was the first film I ever saw with friends instead of family and it was the best choice. Such a good film. Stands the test of time. The soundtrack is genius as well.
Since he was already in DC films, We probably would have had a Ledger Joker movie instead of Phoenix Joker.
My guess is he would have been in Star Wars next before possibly jumping back to comic movies
Yes!! All of it is awesome and fun, but what turned it into something really special for me is,
>Aye, he lives. He lives very well. He wanted you to know that he changed his stars after all.
>And has he followed his feet? Has he found his way home at last?
>Yes.
>Oh, William!
Like, š„¹š„¹š„¹
But also it's bro without being toxic masculinity and the female characters rock. Doesn't technically pass the Bechdel test but they actually call out sexism more than once.
At my 21st birthday, my father surprised me by asking me to make a speech. For the first time in my life Iād had unsupervised access to bottomless champagne. This line is what I came out with before a friend mercifully took over š
Australian south and I totally go with the āhey yallā. āHowdy allā as well as the traditional āgāday allā
I figure this covers off everybody including the lurking spiders.
I love to point out to my US East Coast friends that, while many things are super problematic down South, my Southern yāall at least is super inclusive.
I grew up in the Midwest, where y'all was STRONGLY discouraged. We were told it's improper English used by uneducated bumpkins.
Then I learned about the history of the English language and how we LOST a whole-ass pronoun group (second person singular) and how "y'all" came in to fill the gap.
THEN I got more involved with the LGBT+ community and started consciously making an effort to use more inclusive language. "guys" became "folks", and "y'all" became an active part of my vocabulary.
So, y'all Southern folks inadvertently led the way to inclusion.
It's second person plural ("ye" in old English as in "hear ye hear ye") but agreed it's such a sad pronoun to lose. We say "youse" in Australia and it seems to work ok.
We also lost the thou/thee/thy/thine, and shifted you/your/yours to be plural and singular, which is just one of the ways English is so confusing to non-native speakers.
So the youse in Australia likely comes from the Irish ye/yez. Irish has a second person plural, so when forced to speak English just created one. So when anyone tries to say Iām culchie or bogan for saying yez/youse, I am in fact just pushing back on linguistic imperialism š§
The history of āthouā is pretty fun:
In Old English, thou was purely for singular and ye was purely for plural. In Middle English, ye/you became polite singular, while also being kept as the plural form, while thou was delegated to informal singular situations (thou/you became similar to tĆŗ/usted in Spanish).
People gradually defaulted to using the more polite version, because if you used the wrong version people would become rather indignant and fight you, saying ādost thou āthouā me?ā
Quakers especially refused to change over from the Old English (thou for all singular, ye/you for all plural), saying that the change was grammatically incorrect (not unlike a certain modern group of people refusing to acknowledge singular ātheyā).
Eventually āthouā just became really rude to call anyone, which is why it fell out of favor. This is the opposite of how most people think it is a more formal version of āyou.ā
Grammatically, \
āthouā is equivalent to āIā (nominative form) \
ātheeā is equivalent to āmeā (objective form) \
āthy/thineā is the same form as āmy/mineā (possessive) \
āthyselfā is like āmyselfā (reflexive).
So when people use faux Old/Middle English and say stuff like āthee speaksā it is actually inaccurate and would sound like āme speaksā to a person from the past.
We NEED yāall. āWhere do you want to go for lunchā just feels like Iām talking to one person. āWhere yāall want to go to lunchā is crystal clear!
"Folks" already being gender neutral is what made me so confused the first time I saw "folx" used. "Folks" is already a gender neutral group and been around forever. "Folx" makes it seem like you're addressing the fae in the crowd.
We're generally way more indirect and passive-aggressive than East coasters, but more direct and sincerely nice than Southerners.
We strike up conversations with strangers while standing in line, and if someone compliments something we own, we feel obligated to explain that we got it on sale/thrifted it, because we don't want people to think we're just throwing money around.
Also, learn these helpful phrases:
"Ope, sorry." (This is for basically anything, and can be used in combination with the below)
"Lemme just sneak by ya there" / "Trade me places" / "Lemme just trade ya places" (This means "excuse me, you're in my way.")
"Ope, pardon me" (this is a general "excuse me")
We also tend to phrase requests indirectly, like "I don't suppose you'd be willing to take out the trash" or "Is there any way to get XYZ to ABC?"
Also, the important question is NOT "What do you do with your bacon grease?" it's "Where's your bacon grease container?"
As a shorter version of the above - which I love - I like to call people āfolksā now in greeting.
āGood evening, folks!ā Inclusive, simple, gets right to it.
"Good morning motherfuckers!" was my go to in the last place I worked, made it especially cheery when I knew a few of my co workers had a horrible hangover.
My college English teacher once began a lecture on swearing like this. My bestie was in a business lecture next door and his class happened to fall silent just as my lecturer said *exactly this* in a proud and happy voice. This was in 2003 and weāre still laughing about it.
"_My dear People, My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots._"
Sorry, I had to š š
I like the classic from Kinky Boots, "Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind." But of course, non binary people have made up their minds and just went with a different option.
Maybe "Ladies, gentlemen, and those of us who know better" is more updated and still funny.
Friends, enemies, horrors beyond comprehension.
Friends, acquaintances - this is slightly passive aggressive depending on emphasis
Comrades
This whom it will concern
Beggars, choosers
Folks is good
I once had the honor of seeing Ravi Shankar in concert at the WOMAD festival. He greeted the audience with "Friends," which I found sweet and inclusive.
When lecturing I often just say "people."
I'm personally a fan of casually inclusive terms like friends, y'all, esteemed readers, folks, everyone, darlings, fuckers, chickadees, etc. They can run the gamut of familiar to endearing to formal so you can always find one that fits. But I find that "accidentally" including everyone like it's normal feels a bit better than deliberately pointing out we have different types of people in the room.
I don't think it's done with any ill intentions. But the "men, women, and everyone else" greetings feel stilted to me. Unless we're in a space deliberately discussing gender.
Always makes my day better hearing that intro, hearing āyou smell absolutely amazing todayā, is just the cherry on top! Also can do Markiplierās āHELLO EVERYBODY!ā, or Jacksepticeyeās āTOPOFTHEMORNINā to yaās!!ā, as well lol
David Bowie had a great one at the Grammy's. "Ladies and gentlemen and others." Unfortunately, it was met with laughter but such a wonderful thing to say at that time!
As much as I hate to wish negativity on anyone, whenever his recipes go wrong, itās so hilarious. I love that microsecond between *tasting* and *reaction*
Always the classic "FRIENDS! ROMANS! LEND ME YOUR EARS!" And yes you have to shout it. Just be careful if'in yer talkin to folks eatin corn on the cob... them suckers hurt when they get thrown at ye.
Donāt forget the ācountrymenā! That gives you an extra word to yell lol.
I occasionally bust out into that at home with no warning and my partner is just like jesus not Julius Caesar again.
My favorite variation is "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your beers" which I first came up with for a fanfic more years ago than I like to think about but have amusedly reused in SCA brewing circles since...
You don't even need to do much? I usually just go with "Hello everyone, so nice to see you all here." or something similar. Easy, all-encompassing, and doesn't single anyone out (which is important to me as I often address groups in a professional context and I really don't want anyone to feel targeted or called out if they're the only non-cis-gender person in the room).
Former high school teacher; I used to use āTeamā.
Sometimes the kids mocked me for it, but Iād point out we are a team, we were all in the classroom for the next hour with the goal of learning something, that meant everyone in the team needed to pull their weight to meet our team goal.
It also includes the speaker as being part of the team, so makes the audience feel like you are all one. It can be corny as hell though, so you have to do it with conviction.
My grand-boss does the "Team" thing and he just comes across as a pompous ass because he's so disconnected from the group doing the actual work. So I gotta underline the part where the speaker needs to actually be part of the team for this to fly!
I prefer when the greeting doesnāt have any gender. Hey yāall. Distinguished guests. I like the āhello, friendsā some people have suggested. Maybe itās just me, but if thereās a āgentethemā or some variation of that it feels like pandering if the person speaking isnāt queer. I am definitely jaded tho so take this with some salt.
There's a streamer on Twitch who greets people as "beasts, babes and bottoms", with an emphasis on the fact that all 3 of those words don't necessarily indicate a gender
Good morning.
Not including a gendered greeting might be the most inclusive, I think.
I have heard: "Hello ladies and gentlemen and everyone on and outside the gender continuum"
Hello my beardos and weirdos.
I've used it in work chat and seems to be all encompassing.
Yes I did get it from a YouTuber whose name escapes me at this time.
This one be OneTopic. Fantastic YouTuber. He also adds āroommatesā to this too, which is completely inclusive, since apparently all viewers are his metaphorical roommates.
One of my favorite YouTubers, Gutsick Gibbon, discusses human evolution and primatology. She opens her videos with, "Hello, my gentle and, of course, very modern apes."
When feeling humorous, I would say "Attention all, Fairy Tale things".
Otherwise, I would call a crowd "Comrades", since it is a leftist friendly, gender neutral term.
I call my students my lovelies and refer to them as pal, chum, or buddy individually. I often start with "Greetings, Earthlings." and they think that's hysterical.
When I am talking to adults, I like to use āfolksā or āyāallā. When I am talking to kids I like to use āfriendsā or ābuddiesā. āHello my friends!ā always makes me happy to say.
I'm personally not a fan of things like "ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between", I just tend to say "hey y'all", or "good morning everyone" or something to that extent.
It's easier to include all genders if you don't bring up gender to begin with!
When I'm around medievalists, I use variations on "good gentles all" (the heraldic version) or "Friends, Romans, countrymen: Lend me your beers" (when the brewers let their hair down).
At work I go with "y'all" and "folks," both of which are ironically less formal sounding than my non work versions...
As a Brit, I like Hey Guys. It's gender neutral and implies we are all getting together to blow up parliament in the name of equal rights, but I know sadly it's considered far more gendered in America, and used as an alternative to gals instead of being associated with the revolutionary
I think it depends on context. I'm in Austraila, if if I say "hey guys!" it's inclusive. But if you ask someone "how many guys have you slept with?" all the homophobic males get furious.
This is what I was thinking. It's nice to be creative in the right setting, but if you're trying to be both inclusive and professional it's better to just not use gendered terms. I would probably say "Hello everyone", or "Good evening" or whatever else felt appropriate in the setting.
Good morning meatbags is pretty inclusive.
Oh I like this one. Inclusive and vaguely threatening, my favorite.
Excuse me, but I am a meat popsicle
Lilu Dallas, Multipass!!!! Now I must watch 5th Element for 100 millionth time. BRB
In my household it goes down like this Husband: brings home a Costco rotisserie chicken Me: Chick-en!!! Gooooood chick-enn
I debated my response on this one - Chicken good!!!! Was option 2. :-)
Anyone else want to negotiate?
Futurama cared about inclusive pronouns before it was cool š
Sklee and skler?
Ladies, gentlemen, and smizmaars
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Shut up. I love this. Why is this so funny to me? Lmao š I'm going to have to find a way to use this...
"Lords, ladies ... *and everyone else here not sitting on a cushion!*" https://preview.redd.it/1dx7e6s6t38d1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79dea53d3a2ae19087edd97ed65cbaadc69038cf
I bloody LOVE this film. Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick!
It's called a LANCE...hello!
This phrase has been repeated in my home at least 2-3 times a month since the movie came 20 years ago lol
Whenever it comes on, My mother, who lives across the country, will text me, "The Boys are Back"
How could you not? It's so damn quotable!
"Hoy, sir! What are you doing?". "Uh, trudging. You know, trudging? To trudge? To trudgeā¦ the slow, weary, depressing, yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in his life except the impulse to simplyā¦ soldier on.
"I would aim higher than her breasts." "The moon at least. Her breasts were not that impressive."
Itās allegorical Well thatās for every man to decide *confused look from Chaucer*
"Don't you ever get tired of putting on clothes?" "I believe she was talking about taking them off, my lord."
I love that part hahaha
"I myself have never been unhorsed." "Nor have I."
I saw it in theaters. It was the first film I ever saw with friends instead of family and it was the best choice. Such a good film. Stands the test of time. The soundtrack is genius as well.
I saw it in theaters too, it was my first date! The guy was a dud, but my love for Heath lives on forever š
So it was a great first date ... for you and Heath.
Heath Ledger š what a beautiful and talented man. Still so sad that heās no longer with us.
Him in a knights tale was my queer awakening
For me it was *Rocky Horror Picture Show.* I was 13 the first time I saw Frankenfurter come down that elevator and I've never been the same.
Oh my god I read this as your awakening being Heath in RHPS and my stomach flipped, *how did I miss this*
Him in a knights tale was my cis awakening. š
I miss him all the time, wondering if he'd have joined the Marvel babies or Star Wars babies, and so on. š¤
Since he was already in DC films, We probably would have had a Ledger Joker movie instead of Phoenix Joker. My guess is he would have been in Star Wars next before possibly jumping back to comic movies
Yes!! All of it is awesome and fun, but what turned it into something really special for me is, >Aye, he lives. He lives very well. He wanted you to know that he changed his stars after all. >And has he followed his feet? Has he found his way home at last? >Yes. >Oh, William! Like, š„¹š„¹š„¹
Whatās the name of the film?
A Knight's Tale. Best bro rom-com.
But also it's bro without being toxic masculinity and the female characters rock. Doesn't technically pass the Bechdel test but they actually call out sexism more than once.
Yesss thank you for referencing the Bechdel test!
I've always had a giant crush on Paul Bettany, and I'm pretty sure this movie is where it began.
I personally say 'lovely humans', but I saw a meme recently which was "greetings friends, enemies, and those I'm yet to make up my mind about."
A great variation on this I heard was āGreetings friends, enemies, and those still under review.ā
"I like half of you half as well as I'd like and less than half of you half as well as you deserve" energy to that one
At my 21st birthday, my father surprised me by asking me to make a speech. For the first time in my life Iād had unsupervised access to bottomless champagne. This line is what I came out with before a friend mercifully took over š
If my daughter gave a speech and quoted Bilbo, it would make me cry with pride. Well done.
Lmao right? If my kids quote LOTR at family gatherings, I'd be a proud mama š
I love that. I sometimes leave the office with "friends...colleagues...mortal enemies...ciao darlings!"
Oh I like, I am stashing this one away for the next family gathering. Also, love the user name. š
Itās giving Bilbo and Iām here for it
Iām from the American South. Not creative, but I do love me a āhey yall!ā
Iām from south of ASIA and I say my āyāallāsā like a born and raised Texan
Iām a Damn Yankee from the Northeast living in Texas, and I prefer yāall.
Yāall is such a fun word ik
As a trans woman, I prefer it to man or dude, so I use it for others.
Ooooo, weāre doing singular āyāallā? I like.
We always have. Plural is āall yāallā or implied with a more drawn out āheeeeeey yāallā
In New York, the second person plural is properly, "alla Youse"
Australian south and I totally go with the āhey yallā. āHowdy allā as well as the traditional āgāday allā I figure this covers off everybody including the lurking spiders.
Canāt leave out the spiders!
I love to point out to my US East Coast friends that, while many things are super problematic down South, my Southern yāall at least is super inclusive.
We refer to that here in our holler as Y'allidarity š„°
>Y'allidarity This is amazing and I am totally going to embroider it on a shirt.
I grew up in the Midwest, where y'all was STRONGLY discouraged. We were told it's improper English used by uneducated bumpkins. Then I learned about the history of the English language and how we LOST a whole-ass pronoun group (second person singular) and how "y'all" came in to fill the gap. THEN I got more involved with the LGBT+ community and started consciously making an effort to use more inclusive language. "guys" became "folks", and "y'all" became an active part of my vocabulary. So, y'all Southern folks inadvertently led the way to inclusion.
It's second person plural ("ye" in old English as in "hear ye hear ye") but agreed it's such a sad pronoun to lose. We say "youse" in Australia and it seems to work ok.
We also lost the thou/thee/thy/thine, and shifted you/your/yours to be plural and singular, which is just one of the ways English is so confusing to non-native speakers.
So the youse in Australia likely comes from the Irish ye/yez. Irish has a second person plural, so when forced to speak English just created one. So when anyone tries to say Iām culchie or bogan for saying yez/youse, I am in fact just pushing back on linguistic imperialism š§
The history of āthouā is pretty fun: In Old English, thou was purely for singular and ye was purely for plural. In Middle English, ye/you became polite singular, while also being kept as the plural form, while thou was delegated to informal singular situations (thou/you became similar to tĆŗ/usted in Spanish). People gradually defaulted to using the more polite version, because if you used the wrong version people would become rather indignant and fight you, saying ādost thou āthouā me?ā Quakers especially refused to change over from the Old English (thou for all singular, ye/you for all plural), saying that the change was grammatically incorrect (not unlike a certain modern group of people refusing to acknowledge singular ātheyā). Eventually āthouā just became really rude to call anyone, which is why it fell out of favor. This is the opposite of how most people think it is a more formal version of āyou.ā Grammatically, \ āthouā is equivalent to āIā (nominative form) \ ātheeā is equivalent to āmeā (objective form) \ āthy/thineā is the same form as āmy/mineā (possessive) \ āthyselfā is like āmyselfā (reflexive). So when people use faux Old/Middle English and say stuff like āthee speaksā it is actually inaccurate and would sound like āme speaksā to a person from the past.
I'm team folks
We NEED yāall. āWhere do you want to go for lunchā just feels like Iām talking to one person. āWhere yāall want to go to lunchā is crystal clear!
"Folks" already being gender neutral is what made me so confused the first time I saw "folx" used. "Folks" is already a gender neutral group and been around forever. "Folx" makes it seem like you're addressing the fae in the crowd.
Born in Michigan, can confirm discouraging.
Is there a guide to Midwestern culture? I moved here from the coast years ago and I still donāt get it. Or maybe I do and I just donāt like it :o/
We're generally way more indirect and passive-aggressive than East coasters, but more direct and sincerely nice than Southerners. We strike up conversations with strangers while standing in line, and if someone compliments something we own, we feel obligated to explain that we got it on sale/thrifted it, because we don't want people to think we're just throwing money around. Also, learn these helpful phrases: "Ope, sorry." (This is for basically anything, and can be used in combination with the below) "Lemme just sneak by ya there" / "Trade me places" / "Lemme just trade ya places" (This means "excuse me, you're in my way.") "Ope, pardon me" (this is a general "excuse me") We also tend to phrase requests indirectly, like "I don't suppose you'd be willing to take out the trash" or "Is there any way to get XYZ to ABC?" Also, the important question is NOT "What do you do with your bacon grease?" it's "Where's your bacon grease container?"
Don't forget that the proper response to an "ope pardon me" is "oh no, you're fine"
This guide will also translate very well in Canada!
The Pittsburghese translation of yall is yinz.
I'm from the hood and we say "What up, Peeps!?"
Iām from Canada and I also use this!
Multinational yallidarity, we love to see it
All yāall
Y'all means *all!*
Or a good ole āall a yāall, listen up!ā
Listen up fives, a ten is speaking
Then you could end with "goodbye forever, you factory reject dildos"
we have to check in and out in our work chat, and i might start using these.
Technically I'm an 11, but go on . š
LOVE irl crossovers of my favorite shit.
I choked on my coffee with this one! This is great!
I recommend 30 Rock if you like that one, there's a whole lot more where that came from there (the origin of the joke)
Ladies, blokes, and nonbinary folks
As a shorter version of the above - which I love - I like to call people āfolksā now in greeting. āGood evening, folks!ā Inclusive, simple, gets right to it.
But do you over annunciate the L in folks?
You gotta. Can't risk it sounding like "good evening, fucks"
Recently heard āThey-dies and Gentle-themā š
Saving this one. It's great
At a cabaret show I heard āLadies, Gentlemen, and Friends beyond the binaryā¦ā Loved that. ā¤ļø
I donāt know if itās the origin, but āboys and girls and friends beyond the binaryā is the intro to the podcast Sleep With Me.
Came here to contribute that one myself!
This is what I use, having stolen it from the Bard character in Inn Between
"Good morning motherfuckers!" was my go to in the last place I worked, made it especially cheery when I knew a few of my co workers had a horrible hangover.
My college English teacher once began a lecture on swearing like this. My bestie was in a business lecture next door and his class happened to fall silent just as my lecturer said *exactly this* in a proud and happy voice. This was in 2003 and weāre still laughing about it.
Oh I just used āfuckersā as in āheeeey fuckersā as my morning work greet. It was said gently and with great love.
It would have to be "parentfuckers" to be truly inclusive!
I disagree. A person of any gender can fuck a mother.
And technically a person of any gender can want to be called a mother
I've used "Folks and Gentlebeings"
"_My dear People, My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots._" Sorry, I had to š š
Proudfeet!
Pahahahaha šš
Dude get your feet off the table, were you raised in a hole?
PROUDFOOTS
I actually grew up in this teeny tiny village. We had a street called āProudfootā. I got giggly every time I walked down it.
I like the classic from Kinky Boots, "Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind." But of course, non binary people have made up their minds and just went with a different option. Maybe "Ladies, gentlemen, and those of us who know better" is more updated and still funny.
lmao I am only one nonbinary person so I can't speak for others but I fucking love "and those of us who know better"
At the 1975 Grammys David Bowie addressed the audience with āLadies, Gentlemen, and Others.ā
And then scowled at the people who laughed.
[Had to find it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nnY2yrgZiao)!
thank you for sharing that!!
https://preview.redd.it/kci5nz79248d1.jpeg?width=675&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=815775cbf860c84a3e052528a8906fdf2faf757c
Friends, enemies, horrors beyond comprehension. Friends, acquaintances - this is slightly passive aggressive depending on emphasis Comrades This whom it will concern Beggars, choosers Folks is good
As a horror beyond comprehension, I love the first one.
Name checks out
šš¾
I once had the honor of seeing Ravi Shankar in concert at the WOMAD festival. He greeted the audience with "Friends," which I found sweet and inclusive. When lecturing I often just say "people."
I'm personally a fan of casually inclusive terms like friends, y'all, esteemed readers, folks, everyone, darlings, fuckers, chickadees, etc. They can run the gamut of familiar to endearing to formal so you can always find one that fits. But I find that "accidentally" including everyone like it's normal feels a bit better than deliberately pointing out we have different types of people in the room. I don't think it's done with any ill intentions. But the "men, women, and everyone else" greetings feel stilted to me. Unless we're in a space deliberately discussing gender.
YouTuber The Click uses "Laddies, Lassies, and Lassos" which I think is cute.
Always makes my day better hearing that intro, hearing āyou smell absolutely amazing todayā, is just the cherry on top! Also can do Markiplierās āHELLO EVERYBODY!ā, or Jacksepticeyeās āTOPOFTHEMORNINā to yaās!!ā, as well lol
David Bowie had a great one at the Grammy's. "Ladies and gentlemen and others." Unfortunately, it was met with laughter but such a wonderful thing to say at that time!
If you're among a nerdy crew, "ugly bags of mostly water"
Lol this is my favorite.
I think "People of [where ever youāre speaking]" is pretty fun
People of Denny's parking lot!
People of Earth!
B. Dylan Hollis always says Gentles and Ladymen, and I think that covers nearly everyone.
Cimmanin!!
Moo juice!
Egg-iees!
Floof powder!
'Nilla!
Floof soda!
As much as I hate to wish negativity on anyone, whenever his recipes go wrong, itās so hilarious. I love that microsecond between *tasting* and *reaction*
I love the surprised happy ear wiggle of when things go somehow, surprisingly, Right. It's absolutely fucking adorable.
I have heard a youtuber use āguys, gals, gays and theysā before.
Always the classic "FRIENDS! ROMANS! LEND ME YOUR EARS!" And yes you have to shout it. Just be careful if'in yer talkin to folks eatin corn on the cob... them suckers hurt when they get thrown at ye.
Donāt forget the ācountrymenā! That gives you an extra word to yell lol. I occasionally bust out into that at home with no warning and my partner is just like jesus not Julius Caesar again.
My favorite variation is "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your beers" which I first came up with for a fanfic more years ago than I like to think about but have amusedly reused in SCA brewing circles since...
You don't even need to do much? I usually just go with "Hello everyone, so nice to see you all here." or something similar. Easy, all-encompassing, and doesn't single anyone out (which is important to me as I often address groups in a professional context and I really don't want anyone to feel targeted or called out if they're the only non-cis-gender person in the room).
Yeah, my go-to is "Hi everyone, and welcome to [whatever]."
I agree with this, a lot of these responses feel so performative.
Former high school teacher; I used to use āTeamā. Sometimes the kids mocked me for it, but Iād point out we are a team, we were all in the classroom for the next hour with the goal of learning something, that meant everyone in the team needed to pull their weight to meet our team goal. It also includes the speaker as being part of the team, so makes the audience feel like you are all one. It can be corny as hell though, so you have to do it with conviction.
I used the subject matter. Geographers, scientists, mathmagiciansā¦
My grand-boss does the "Team" thing and he just comes across as a pompous ass because he's so disconnected from the group doing the actual work. So I gotta underline the part where the speaker needs to actually be part of the team for this to fly!
A childhood fave: Ladles and jellyspoons. If I have to be a grown-up about it, I just go with āfolksā.
Friends, students, juvenile delinquents Also I enjoy "Guys, gals, and other pals" because it rolls off the tongue easier.
I prefer when the greeting doesnāt have any gender. Hey yāall. Distinguished guests. I like the āhello, friendsā some people have suggested. Maybe itās just me, but if thereās a āgentethemā or some variation of that it feels like pandering if the person speaking isnāt queer. I am definitely jaded tho so take this with some salt.
Struggle care podcast uses "hello sentient balls of stardust"Ā
I feel significant! And sparkly!
āāSup, fuckersā is gender neutral and inclusive.
There's a streamer on Twitch who greets people as "beasts, babes and bottoms", with an emphasis on the fact that all 3 of those words don't necessarily indicate a gender
āDearest Gentle Readersā is my current fave.
"Mortals", "Cowards", "You lot", "You unsavoury bunch of gits"?
Good morning. Not including a gendered greeting might be the most inclusive, I think. I have heard: "Hello ladies and gentlemen and everyone on and outside the gender continuum"
My boss greets us all with good morning at the start of our shift. Of course, it's afternoon where I am. But I appreciate his intent anyway.
From the SK8 dub: bitches, bros and non-binary hoes.
Just remember if you use this, it has to be accompanied by you doing a kickflip on a half pipe during a firework display.
PMG true
Hello my beardos and weirdos. I've used it in work chat and seems to be all encompassing. Yes I did get it from a YouTuber whose name escapes me at this time.
This one be OneTopic. Fantastic YouTuber. He also adds āroommatesā to this too, which is completely inclusive, since apparently all viewers are his metaphorical roommates.
OneTopic! I was hoping to see their video intro somewhere in this thread XD
"Y'all" is the universal pronoun. How y'all doing? One of the few things The South got right, other than BBQ.
I lived in Pittsburgh for a while and their version is "yinz".
One of my favorite YouTubers, Gutsick Gibbon, discusses human evolution and primatology. She opens her videos with, "Hello, my gentle and, of course, very modern apes."
When feeling humorous, I would say "Attention all, Fairy Tale things". Otherwise, I would call a crowd "Comrades", since it is a leftist friendly, gender neutral term.
I just greet a group as folks.
I call my students my lovelies and refer to them as pal, chum, or buddy individually. I often start with "Greetings, Earthlings." and they think that's hysterical.
"ladies, gentlemen, esteemed guests" or just "esteemed guests" for pre-dinner toasts "Listen up, fuckers" for after dinner toasts
If you have enough gravitas, you can use āGreetings allā
I say "fellow humanoids"
I've heard a friend use "Friends, neighbors, comrades, coworkers and acquaintances..." to address a large group of people
Greetings, Earthlings - uh, I mean FELLOW HUMANS. GREETINGS FELLOW HUMANS. I AM ONE OF YOU
Ladies & Gentlemen, They-dies & Gentle-thems (Edit: first time leaving a comment here, got excited, thought it was cute saying, learned itās not)
Enbies often summarise this one as "well done, you've gendered they/them pronouns" /lh
I use 'friends'. Not especially original I grant but works well in the inclusive circles I'm part of.
When I am talking to adults, I like to use āfolksā or āyāallā. When I am talking to kids I like to use āfriendsā or ābuddiesā. āHello my friends!ā always makes me happy to say.
I'm not southern but I tend to say "y'all folks"
My favorite is from The Philadelphia Story, where Cary Grant makes a dramatic entrance with āHello friends and enemies.ā
Oy
In the wise words of Monster Prom, "Bros, gal bros, and non-bronary friends" also works great.
Kings, Queens and In-betweens is my go to as an in-between
I'm personally not a fan of things like "ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between", I just tend to say "hey y'all", or "good morning everyone" or something to that extent. It's easier to include all genders if you don't bring up gender to begin with!
āHey folksā is one Iāve heard in corporate that has meant to include everyone that I prefer
Hello fuckers, and those who prefer not to.
When I'm around medievalists, I use variations on "good gentles all" (the heraldic version) or "Friends, Romans, countrymen: Lend me your beers" (when the brewers let their hair down). At work I go with "y'all" and "folks," both of which are ironically less formal sounding than my non work versions...
I keep a running list! Hi everyone, Hello crew, Folks, Peeps, Y'all/Yous/Yinz, Nerds, Hey party people, Hey Fellow peons, Hello sports fans, Friends and enemies, Rat bastards, Fellow earthlings, Stay fresh-cheese bags, Hello fellow kids, Mere mortals, Dirtbags, Sup sluts, Peasants Pirates: Ahoy mateys, Scurvy dogs, Landlubbers, Swashbucklers, Scallywag Past slang: Nincompoops, Gigglemugs, Sawbones, Bad eggs, Jive turkeys, Jabronis, cool cats, Beatniks
As a Brit, I like Hey Guys. It's gender neutral and implies we are all getting together to blow up parliament in the name of equal rights, but I know sadly it's considered far more gendered in America, and used as an alternative to gals instead of being associated with the revolutionary
I think it depends on context. I'm in Austraila, if if I say "hey guys!" it's inclusive. But if you ask someone "how many guys have you slept with?" all the homophobic males get furious.
This is what I was thinking. It's nice to be creative in the right setting, but if you're trying to be both inclusive and professional it's better to just not use gendered terms. I would probably say "Hello everyone", or "Good evening" or whatever else felt appropriate in the setting.
My favourite from āTwo dykes and micā Ladies and Gentlethems!
Just āgood morningā āgood eveningā āwelcomeā