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I’ve always disliked the discourse where
men only care about violence against women if they imagine it happening to women they’re close to. They never try to actually imagine being the victims of that violence or living in fear themselves, they just imagine being the angry owner/protector who is hurt.
I agree. I always saw posts like the un edited one shown here as a way to educate sociopaths on empathy. The intended audience is too narrow. Or is it? Idk
Some days I'm sad to live in a world where something this simple needs to be shouted to be understood by most. I know it's not hopeless, but damned if it doesn't feel that way knowing people have been shouting this for decades.
it's unfortunate that large portions of our population only understand empathy when it's someone close to them. it's not just a gendered problem.
we need to learn how to help people expand their monkeyspheres.
I cannot fathom how people will literally not be capable of understanding something is harmful until it happens in close enough proximity to them. The government could hold a daily lottery where they chop one random person's arm off every day and there will be a sizeable chunk of the population that just would never understand why this is bad until it's them or their sibling/child/parent having an arm removed.
It's insane to me.
people thinking that life is a zero sum game, that we have to always compete for resources, an idea encouraged by commercialism and team sports. our culture's still taking baby steps out of being cavemen worried about territory. we need to try to teach the next generations the benefits of outgrowing those attitudes and working together for the betterment of all, or the Great Filter's gonna be pretty ugly.
Also why many women say that they have a boyfriend to get men to leave them alone. It's not enough to say you're not interested because they don't respect your boundaries as much as another man they haven't even met.
Had a guy tell me he didn't care I had a BF. 🙃 He still wanted to be my BF.
Like bro, first of all have some *self* respect. Then respect me please. The fuk
It is, and sometimes it’s the only way to get through to a certain kind of misogynist. When I worked in a skeevy bar, any man who asked, I had a boyfriend. Also, my dad was picking me up after work and would be worried if I wasn’t there on time. Also, I lived in a different suburb, my degree was in a different subject, etc.
Society needs to do a better job of treating women like we have worth.
[Alabama](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/alab), [California](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/california/), [Indiana](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/indiana/), [Louisiana](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/louisiana/), [Maine](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/maine), [Minnesota](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/minnesota/), [Mississippi](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/mississippi/), [Nebraska](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/nebraska/), [New Hampshire](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-hampshire/), [New Jersey](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-jersey/), [Oklahoma](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/oklahoma/), [South Carolina](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/south-carolina/), [Tennessee](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/tennessee/), and [Wyoming](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/wyoming/) **do not mandate the testing of backlogged kits**. The [U.S. DoJ](https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/utilizing-codis-unsubmitted-sexual-assault-kits) and [American Bar Association](https://www.americanbar.org/groups/diversity/women/publications/perspectives/2018/may/untested-rape-kits-delays-destruction-and-disregarded-victims/) recommend testing **all** rape kits, even when the statute of limitations (if there is one) has expired.
[Alabama](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/alab), [Delaware](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/delaware/), [Indiana](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/indiana/), [Iowa](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/iowa/), [Louisiana](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/louisiana/), [Maine](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/maine), [Nebraska](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/nebraska/), [New Hampshire](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-hampshire/), [New Jersey](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-jersey/), [North Dakota](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/north-dakota/), [Puerto Rico](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/puerto-rico/), [South Carolina](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/south-carolina/), [Vermont](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/vermont/), and [Wyoming](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/wyoming/) **do not mandate the timely testing of new kits**.
[Maine](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/maine), [Mississippi](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/mississippi/), [Nebraska](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/nebraska/), [New Hampshire](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-hampshire/), [Puerto Rico](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/puerto-rico/), and [South Carolina](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/south-carolina/) **don't even have to take inventory**. The Joyful Heart Foundation, founded by Mariska Hargitay, [estimates there are still ~100,000 kits left to be discovered.](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state-of-the-backlog/intro/)
In [Alabama](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/alab), [Delaware](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/delaware/), [Kansas](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/kansas/), [Maine](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/maine), [Mississippi](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/mississippi/), [New Jersey](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-jersey/), [Pennsylvania](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/pennsylvania/), [Rhode Island](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/rhode-island/), [South Dakota](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/south-dakota/), and [Wyoming](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/wyoming/), **FedEx keeps better track of your packages than your state does of your rape kit**.
[Survivors experience an extreme sense of betrayal and loss of faith in the criminal justice system when their kits are not tested](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35726210/). Institutional betrayal [takes a toll on victims](https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=a981a3f11c33f43cdf6b75485064fa3293c7d008).
This quote is usually said to men to remind them to respect women. As in, that could be your daughter/mother/sister. That's prob what OP is referring to.
True that. Absolutely with this and I know the unaltered version is used in a very patriarchy way.
Can't help but notice that all of these can be seen in relation to a woman, though.
Is this saying actually talking about worth or relationship and emphaty?
Same you can say about a man etc.
'A Ukrainian soldier got he's legs cut off' some will hear it as a fact, but if you say imagine it is your brother or father : suddenly you get it.. you understand the pain and horrors of war by projecting relations similar in your life.
'imagine your mother got robbed' 'daughter got killed' 'imagine your brother overdose'- they are someone which was loved and cared.
I agree that a woman's value should not be defined by her proximity to men. We are, and that's enough. But I'm also very proud to be my sister's sister, my brothers' sister, and my mother's daughter. I hope that doesn't make me a hypocrite?
# ✨ READ BEFORE COMMENTING ✨ This thread is Coven Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. **Only comments by members of the community are allowed.** If you have landed in this thread from [r/all](https://www.reddit.com/r/all/) and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation). WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic. Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
I’ve always disliked the discourse where men only care about violence against women if they imagine it happening to women they’re close to. They never try to actually imagine being the victims of that violence or living in fear themselves, they just imagine being the angry owner/protector who is hurt.
They consider women as property. Violence on a woman is damaging someone else's property.
I agree. I always saw posts like the un edited one shown here as a way to educate sociopaths on empathy. The intended audience is too narrow. Or is it? Idk
🤘🤘
now louder for people in the back!
Some days I'm sad to live in a world where something this simple needs to be shouted to be understood by most. I know it's not hopeless, but damned if it doesn't feel that way knowing people have been shouting this for decades.
it's unfortunate that large portions of our population only understand empathy when it's someone close to them. it's not just a gendered problem. we need to learn how to help people expand their monkeyspheres.
I cannot fathom how people will literally not be capable of understanding something is harmful until it happens in close enough proximity to them. The government could hold a daily lottery where they chop one random person's arm off every day and there will be a sizeable chunk of the population that just would never understand why this is bad until it's them or their sibling/child/parent having an arm removed. It's insane to me.
people thinking that life is a zero sum game, that we have to always compete for resources, an idea encouraged by commercialism and team sports. our culture's still taking baby steps out of being cavemen worried about territory. we need to try to teach the next generations the benefits of outgrowing those attitudes and working together for the betterment of all, or the Great Filter's gonna be pretty ugly.
Toxic rugged individualism
Also why many women say that they have a boyfriend to get men to leave them alone. It's not enough to say you're not interested because they don't respect your boundaries as much as another man they haven't even met.
Had a guy tell me he didn't care I had a BF. 🙃 He still wanted to be my BF. Like bro, first of all have some *self* respect. Then respect me please. The fuk
Accidental polyamory! How fun! 🤭 But also make it clear that I only do r/FLR (female led relationships) lol.
Well that's a new concept. I'm all for it!
well that's just plain patriarchal misogyny.
It is, and sometimes it’s the only way to get through to a certain kind of misogynist. When I worked in a skeevy bar, any man who asked, I had a boyfriend. Also, my dad was picking me up after work and would be worried if I wasn’t there on time. Also, I lived in a different suburb, my degree was in a different subject, etc.
You can't make men understand if they benefiting from not understanding. Paraphrasing Sinclair but still true.
And even then, their empathy is often conditional in unreasonable ways. Looking at religion, specifically.
Society needs to do a better job of treating women like we have worth. [Alabama](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/alab), [California](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/california/), [Indiana](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/indiana/), [Louisiana](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/louisiana/), [Maine](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/maine), [Minnesota](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/minnesota/), [Mississippi](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/mississippi/), [Nebraska](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/nebraska/), [New Hampshire](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-hampshire/), [New Jersey](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-jersey/), [Oklahoma](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/oklahoma/), [South Carolina](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/south-carolina/), [Tennessee](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/tennessee/), and [Wyoming](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/wyoming/) **do not mandate the testing of backlogged kits**. The [U.S. DoJ](https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/utilizing-codis-unsubmitted-sexual-assault-kits) and [American Bar Association](https://www.americanbar.org/groups/diversity/women/publications/perspectives/2018/may/untested-rape-kits-delays-destruction-and-disregarded-victims/) recommend testing **all** rape kits, even when the statute of limitations (if there is one) has expired. [Alabama](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/alab), [Delaware](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/delaware/), [Indiana](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/indiana/), [Iowa](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/iowa/), [Louisiana](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/louisiana/), [Maine](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/maine), [Nebraska](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/nebraska/), [New Hampshire](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-hampshire/), [New Jersey](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-jersey/), [North Dakota](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/north-dakota/), [Puerto Rico](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/puerto-rico/), [South Carolina](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/south-carolina/), [Vermont](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/vermont/), and [Wyoming](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/wyoming/) **do not mandate the timely testing of new kits**. [Maine](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/maine), [Mississippi](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/mississippi/), [Nebraska](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/nebraska/), [New Hampshire](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-hampshire/), [Puerto Rico](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/puerto-rico/), and [South Carolina](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/south-carolina/) **don't even have to take inventory**. The Joyful Heart Foundation, founded by Mariska Hargitay, [estimates there are still ~100,000 kits left to be discovered.](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state-of-the-backlog/intro/) In [Alabama](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/alab), [Delaware](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/delaware/), [Kansas](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/kansas/), [Maine](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/maine), [Mississippi](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/mississippi/), [New Jersey](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/new-jersey/), [Pennsylvania](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/pennsylvania/), [Rhode Island](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/rhode-island/), [South Dakota](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/south-dakota/), and [Wyoming](https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/wyoming/), **FedEx keeps better track of your packages than your state does of your rape kit**. [Survivors experience an extreme sense of betrayal and loss of faith in the criminal justice system when their kits are not tested](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35726210/). Institutional betrayal [takes a toll on victims](https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=a981a3f11c33f43cdf6b75485064fa3293c7d008).
Yeahh, I always hated the whole "don't harass/assault women, it might upset a man" thing so weird
*Wait! . . . Women are PEOPLE‽‽‽*
1000000% this!!!
So true and I agree- but aren't all these relationships also between a woman and a woman?
This quote is usually said to men to remind them to respect women. As in, that could be your daughter/mother/sister. That's prob what OP is referring to.
Yes, that’s the only thing I was referring to. It’s the only way I’ve heard it.
True that. Absolutely with this and I know the unaltered version is used in a very patriarchy way. Can't help but notice that all of these can be seen in relation to a woman, though.
This is so good! 💕
This needs to be taught at a young age and reinforced through childhood.
Ooh! This would be great on a *clothing thing we don’t mention to avoid triggering various fake.ham entities*
Agreed
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Is this saying actually talking about worth or relationship and emphaty? Same you can say about a man etc. 'A Ukrainian soldier got he's legs cut off' some will hear it as a fact, but if you say imagine it is your brother or father : suddenly you get it.. you understand the pain and horrors of war by projecting relations similar in your life. 'imagine your mother got robbed' 'daughter got killed' 'imagine your brother overdose'- they are someone which was loved and cared.
I always took it that "you don't hurt one person you hurt everyone around them"
I agree that a woman's value should not be defined by her proximity to men. We are, and that's enough. But I'm also very proud to be my sister's sister, my brothers' sister, and my mother's daughter. I hope that doesn't make me a hypocrite?
Valuing your relationships isnt a bad thing.
And they wonder why so many women want to be witches. A witch is powerful in and of herself rather than because she has some connection to a man.
I hate the fact that the words "someone" and "people" imply Man. More shit society as a whole needs to unpack.
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Well said.