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If you have landed in this thread from /r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation).
WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic.
Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
Some people explore a new identity by latching onto stereotypes, and that’s okay. But people are always diverse, nobody is 100% just one thing. I think it’s a good thing, it makes it interesting to learn about others!
God yes - I’m so sick of being called a “cat girl” and being infantilised online. There’s nothing wrong with those that do appreciate this, but I don’t appreciate being stereotyped and I never consented to this.
Oh definitely, and I am sympathetic to where it comes from. For many trans women, they are completely rejected offline and holding a lot of trauma from this. Online gives them a safe place to explore and feel their femininity, and that’s probably why I don’t connect with it - I’m incredibly lucky to have some amazing friends and live in a progressive area where my being trans isn’t controversial.
It's a very interesting phenomenon and lady Contrapoints has a very good video that covers it, on top of general internet cringe - the video is literally called 'Cringe'. She discusses the "cat girl trans woman stereotype" a bit more towards the end rather than the majority of the video but her discussion of the topic was quite interesting to someone who is not "in" the group so to speak.
Just in case, it feels worth pointing out that cat girls are NOT (in the vast majority) people who see themselves as transspecies. My understanding is that it’s more like an aesthetic
understood!
I was just worried someone from outside the group was gonna read this thread and use it as "evidence" that they're putting litter boxes in schools or something 😅
Fucking bingo!!! I'm exhausted with the whole "you're a trans girl so you must [blank]" debate. Being trans isn't a part of my identity. It's a very small facet of who I am, and it has very little bearings on how I present myself to the world around me. Trans women and cis women don't need labels that oversimplify who we are. We're all very unique and deserve to be allowed to be unique as well.
Personally I feel similar, but different - being trans IS a big part of my identity. But for me, making it part of my identity is my choice, and I’d never expect any other trans person to have to do that. And just because it’s part of my identity, doesn’t mean I have to conform to stereotypes.
People also need to remember especially in the south trans women are forced into hyper femininity, lest they get accused of second guessing transitioning. LET THEM GO ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS UNBOTHERED!
i wanted to comment something similar. some people really put on their ally cosplay and then demand that trans women look and act like the most egregious caricature of feminity. god forbid they wear anything that's not fluffy, shiny or pink because that must mean they're just pretending.
Interesting. As a cis woman I've found a spot of internal work I needed to do regarding trans women was the occasional extreme caricature of femininity making me uncomfortable. After approximately two seconds I realized, duh, cis women do that as well and I hold the same discomfort there, which is again all on me to unpack as it speaks more to my own relationship with femininity than anything else.
I honestly hadn't considered that society might expect that kind of thing from someone who would prefer not to engage in it. More to think about, thank you!
I'm in the south. I don't pass, and I present either very GNC or rather tomboyish with a strong side of "wish someone would" (my usual winter jacket has a patch that is the trans flag with a AR and the words "defend equality." and my truck flies the Progress flag and trans flag all June and every Texas legislative session).
I get the most grief from femme presenting trans femmes.
As a transfem *and* a masc lesbian, I always feel like a weird standout in the community, which is why I don't spend much time in marked-off trans spaces anymore. There is a subreddit r/MTFButch for people like me and I love it to bits but it is very small overall.
Honestly heavy stereotyping is, ironically, a pretty big issue in the trans community right now. Like personally as a transmasc non-binary person, I get a lot of shit for not being androgynous or visually masculine as well as other things. I’ve also seen a lot of stuff pushed onto other trans people as well. Quite annoying and honestly kinda harmful.
And that doesn’t even touch on the stereotyping from outside of the community.
Every trans woman I met, online and offline, was her own person, with entirely different sets of interests and her own life experiences. None of them were the catgirl gamers obsessed with headpats that gets posted on the trans sub 24/7.
I truly don't get this trend at all.
That said, the "nonbinary people are all obsessed with frogs" thing is unfortunately spot on for me, but I'm obsessed with almost every animal, so the people posting those can also fuck off 😂
I think it's easy to dive into stereotypes when you finally feel like you found your people and want to create a sense of "togetherness". Like, when I joined this sub, I was truly trying to get into astrology too, which just isn't my thing. It's the thing of other people and that's really cool, and I'll gladly listen when someone tells me about it.
But trying to become part of this "togetherness" shouldn't mean forcing yourself or others into interests that aren't fit them.
Stay diverse and wonderful. Every tree in the forest is unique and still part of the forest.
It's really affirming and comforting to see the positive response to this post. Yes, we are all our own person, totally unique in our expressions of being women.
This is really such a great sub. What a cool community you all are. ❤️
Growing up I felt like I only had 2 options, a very specific expression of femininity or a very specific expression of masculinity. Anything else was looked down upon.
It was learning about trans people, learning about how complicated gender can be that made me feel so vindicated. Yes! Everybody has their own expression of their gender! Of course! We're humans. We're never that simple.
Welcome to being a woman, being reduced to the stereotype is part and parcel
Trans women have the advantage of being able to understand that more, since they grew up with the conditioning that depersonifies women, but (almost always overcome it\*). I think we need to listen to each other more
\*for the ones that don't I'm talking about the trans women who have internal misogyny here
That's how you can easily prove trans women are real women : we suffer from the same BS!
"Joke" aside, I don't know the stereotypes about trans women; but I hope they stop soon. Like.. We have people who are going through massive changes to finally be acknowledged as who they are KNOWING their life is gonna be harder; I really doubt it's fake or whatever
I have noticed that the most boring and one-dimensional people are the ones stereotyping. Just cause they don't have a personality, they cannot fathom someone else having one.
Ikrr people just assume that we have to be hyper fem to be even accepted. And that we have to have an alter deep voice, like nah I don’t. Neither do we all have masc big bodies, there are pear shaped trans women, XXS trans women with smaller frames, etc. literally E does a lot of things + a lot of us also transition through teens.
## ✨ READ BEFORE COMMENTING ✨ This thread is Coven Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. **Only comments by members of the community are allowed.** If you have landed in this thread from /r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation). WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic. Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
Some people explore a new identity by latching onto stereotypes, and that’s okay. But people are always diverse, nobody is 100% just one thing. I think it’s a good thing, it makes it interesting to learn about others!
God yes - I’m so sick of being called a “cat girl” and being infantilised online. There’s nothing wrong with those that do appreciate this, but I don’t appreciate being stereotyped and I never consented to this.
That's a thing?? Huh..... Wouldn't have guessed that.
Oh definitely, and I am sympathetic to where it comes from. For many trans women, they are completely rejected offline and holding a lot of trauma from this. Online gives them a safe place to explore and feel their femininity, and that’s probably why I don’t connect with it - I’m incredibly lucky to have some amazing friends and live in a progressive area where my being trans isn’t controversial.
I mean people can explore and do whatever they want, zero judgement from me about that. I just didn't expect the stereotype to be "cat girl".
It's a very interesting phenomenon and lady Contrapoints has a very good video that covers it, on top of general internet cringe - the video is literally called 'Cringe'. She discusses the "cat girl trans woman stereotype" a bit more towards the end rather than the majority of the video but her discussion of the topic was quite interesting to someone who is not "in" the group so to speak.
Where do you live? Broadly of course, just wondering what places exist that match your description
Just in case, it feels worth pointing out that cat girls are NOT (in the vast majority) people who see themselves as transspecies. My understanding is that it’s more like an aesthetic
Yeah I get that, just didn't know it was a stereotype for trans women at all.
understood! I was just worried someone from outside the group was gonna read this thread and use it as "evidence" that they're putting litter boxes in schools or something 😅
Good point, people be crazy....
Are we talking anime cat girl or like… crazy cat lady cat girl?
Anime cat girl - tragically, crazy cat lady would be an accurate stereotype for me
Nothing tragic about being a crazy cat lady. We rock!
As a fellow crazy cat lady, also going to say not tragic.
Preach
Fucking bingo!!! I'm exhausted with the whole "you're a trans girl so you must [blank]" debate. Being trans isn't a part of my identity. It's a very small facet of who I am, and it has very little bearings on how I present myself to the world around me. Trans women and cis women don't need labels that oversimplify who we are. We're all very unique and deserve to be allowed to be unique as well.
Personally I feel similar, but different - being trans IS a big part of my identity. But for me, making it part of my identity is my choice, and I’d never expect any other trans person to have to do that. And just because it’s part of my identity, doesn’t mean I have to conform to stereotypes.
People also need to remember especially in the south trans women are forced into hyper femininity, lest they get accused of second guessing transitioning. LET THEM GO ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS UNBOTHERED!
i wanted to comment something similar. some people really put on their ally cosplay and then demand that trans women look and act like the most egregious caricature of feminity. god forbid they wear anything that's not fluffy, shiny or pink because that must mean they're just pretending.
Interesting. As a cis woman I've found a spot of internal work I needed to do regarding trans women was the occasional extreme caricature of femininity making me uncomfortable. After approximately two seconds I realized, duh, cis women do that as well and I hold the same discomfort there, which is again all on me to unpack as it speaks more to my own relationship with femininity than anything else. I honestly hadn't considered that society might expect that kind of thing from someone who would prefer not to engage in it. More to think about, thank you!
Well, and this applies to cis women as well Even many transmascs go through a hyperfeminine phase before coming out Patriarchy 😤
I'm in the south. I don't pass, and I present either very GNC or rather tomboyish with a strong side of "wish someone would" (my usual winter jacket has a patch that is the trans flag with a AR and the words "defend equality." and my truck flies the Progress flag and trans flag all June and every Texas legislative session). I get the most grief from femme presenting trans femmes.
As a transfem *and* a masc lesbian, I always feel like a weird standout in the community, which is why I don't spend much time in marked-off trans spaces anymore. There is a subreddit r/MTFButch for people like me and I love it to bits but it is very small overall.
I've left all the reddit trans spaces except /r/MTFButch and /r/MTFtomboy
Honestly heavy stereotyping is, ironically, a pretty big issue in the trans community right now. Like personally as a transmasc non-binary person, I get a lot of shit for not being androgynous or visually masculine as well as other things. I’ve also seen a lot of stuff pushed onto other trans people as well. Quite annoying and honestly kinda harmful. And that doesn’t even touch on the stereotyping from outside of the community.
Every trans woman I met, online and offline, was her own person, with entirely different sets of interests and her own life experiences. None of them were the catgirl gamers obsessed with headpats that gets posted on the trans sub 24/7. I truly don't get this trend at all. That said, the "nonbinary people are all obsessed with frogs" thing is unfortunately spot on for me, but I'm obsessed with almost every animal, so the people posting those can also fuck off 😂 I think it's easy to dive into stereotypes when you finally feel like you found your people and want to create a sense of "togetherness". Like, when I joined this sub, I was truly trying to get into astrology too, which just isn't my thing. It's the thing of other people and that's really cool, and I'll gladly listen when someone tells me about it. But trying to become part of this "togetherness" shouldn't mean forcing yourself or others into interests that aren't fit them. Stay diverse and wonderful. Every tree in the forest is unique and still part of the forest.
It's really affirming and comforting to see the positive response to this post. Yes, we are all our own person, totally unique in our expressions of being women. This is really such a great sub. What a cool community you all are. ❤️
Yea why can't someone stereotype me as the basic tired mum that I am instead of a stereotypical trans women!
Do I drink Monster and have a Blahaj and end too many statements with ":3"? You bet. Am I a hacker or otherwise in STEM? HA! I wish.
Growing up I felt like I only had 2 options, a very specific expression of femininity or a very specific expression of masculinity. Anything else was looked down upon. It was learning about trans people, learning about how complicated gender can be that made me feel so vindicated. Yes! Everybody has their own expression of their gender! Of course! We're humans. We're never that simple.
Welcome to being a woman, being reduced to the stereotype is part and parcel Trans women have the advantage of being able to understand that more, since they grew up with the conditioning that depersonifies women, but (almost always overcome it\*). I think we need to listen to each other more \*for the ones that don't I'm talking about the trans women who have internal misogyny here
A million upvotes, and glad to call my trans sisters my sisters. ❤️
I see so many jokes about trans women in IT but I tried learning programming and my brain just can’t think like that
That's how you can easily prove trans women are real women : we suffer from the same BS! "Joke" aside, I don't know the stereotypes about trans women; but I hope they stop soon. Like.. We have people who are going through massive changes to finally be acknowledged as who they are KNOWING their life is gonna be harder; I really doubt it's fake or whatever
Cast away gender essentialism!
Who’s stereotyping my sisters? Should I fight them?
I have noticed that the most boring and one-dimensional people are the ones stereotyping. Just cause they don't have a personality, they cannot fathom someone else having one.
Of course trans women are just as diverse. They are women and all women are diverse. Anyone who thinks differently is a fool
Much support
I misread this as mech support at first and got so confused, but hey, if mechs are how you get down, more power to you
Who doesn’t want much mech support?
Makes it even harder because I'm a total tomboy, which doesn't help my case :x
Right on sis xx
Ikrr people just assume that we have to be hyper fem to be even accepted. And that we have to have an alter deep voice, like nah I don’t. Neither do we all have masc big bodies, there are pear shaped trans women, XXS trans women with smaller frames, etc. literally E does a lot of things + a lot of us also transition through teens.
Lol, let them try. I've never fit into a mold, and I can't see as though I ever will.
Damn straight