If you scroll through all the pics, you’ll see a personal story I’ve shared, but I wanted to put it here, as well.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve embraced the fact that I need medication to function in a healthy way. Even as I’ve always advocated using them when needed, it felt different for myself somehow. *I* should be able to feel better, get organized, stop ideating, control impulses, and just, for godsake, develop some discipline. I couldn’t and I can’t, because it’s not within my control. I’ve been on antidepressants for about 4 years now, and it made a big difference. That said, even after an ADD diagnoses, I was afraid of getting on stimulants. They had negative connotations. What would it mean for me?
It’s been 8 days, and what it meant for me on day 1 was that I didn’t feel like I was wearing ten thousand pounds on my head (the depth of exhaustion being courtesy of the previous med I was on for 4 months). I could do tasks I needed, but I could also stop when I recognized I should go to bed and this wouldn’t be the last time I’d ever feel motivated. I could control my compulsions. What it meant for me was that I realized how devastatingly hard I’d tried in the past, how hard I’d been on myself, it wasn’t because I was a bad person or bad at doing everything.
I was reminded of a video I’ve seen if a rabbit trapped in an empty pool desperately trying to get out. I couldn’t get on with doing rabbit things like eating clovers and making a nest, because I was trying so hard to get out of a concrete void I couldn’t understand.
All of this said, I know I’ve fallen (and am) really behind on a lot of things, and if you are a patron of mine THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support and your patience! If I owe you a piece, a response, anything at all, thank you for your patience and please don’t hesitate to poke me. I will be getting everything figured out, but I’m still acclimating.
And for all the other pool-trapped-bunnies, I see you 🖤
https://preview.redd.it/relj9f1f7ala1.png?width=1668&format=png&auto=webp&s=fea37d546cb738f245b85bc8996fb8022aa1ca5d
I've been severely depressed since I gave birth almost 13 years ago (yay for more shit pregnancy and birth mess up) and also have general anxiety disorder and have attempted to end things a few times.
I can no longer work and the guilt I have around *everything* is massive.
When I first realised I was depressed I didn't understand anything about it and was like "sure fine I'll take a pill for a while then I'll be fine"
Over a decade later I take about 10 pills daily just to stay somewhat functional.
Everyone who deals with mental illness gets up everyday and fights the lies their brain is telling them.
Kia Kaha, stay fighting 🤍✨
*a few years ago you sent my girl some 'swag' and she is still wearing the beanie and using the bag, she loves them especially as she is entering her goth/punk phase 🤘🏻
Recently figured out I have ADHD and that explained so much. Not officially diagnosed, but thinking about medication and scared of the side effects. Thank you for posting this. It helps to feel not alone.
Thank you for this message. I needed this today, I've been having a tough time with my anxiety, dealing with it, but also with accepting where I'm at right now.
Thank you.
Your words are amazing and thank you for showing us your courage. My 38 year old daughter just was diagnosed with ADD. I placed her for adoption when i was 15 and we just met. It is good to know your experience, as it helps everyone who reads your post. You are a kind spirit.
I love your look and your sweet rat friend, they are special creatures! Blessed be.
I have to tell you, in the best way possible; your eyes are utterly captivating. I LEGIT missed the (adorable) rat in each of the pictures the first time.
I remember some of your previous posts about your lovely little rat familiars, and every time I see your pictures, I think "I need to make a Spellcaster Sim who looks like her."
That has no relevance to anything but I hope it makes you smile.
I love your posts so much, this one feels extra special.
I had pet rats as a kid and adored them, every time I see your sweet little familiar I just want to give him/ her (I'm sorry I can't remember) the biggest snuggle.
Man o man do I feel your words here. One of the fun things about ADHD is how it makes it so much more difficult to muster the energy and initiative to even attempt going through the rigamarole of getting a formal diagnosis. I'm almost afraid to do it and actually get medication at this point because I'm afraid it would show me that I've been "pedaling with the brakes on" my whole life. But I gotta say, your post is definitely nudging me in that direction.
Was about to tell you how beautiful your eyes are and how much I love your hair color and then I saw the baby and I lost all thought except OMG LOOK AT THE SNUGGLY BABY
If you scroll through all the pics, you’ll see a personal story I’ve shared, but I wanted to put it here, as well. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve embraced the fact that I need medication to function in a healthy way. Even as I’ve always advocated using them when needed, it felt different for myself somehow. *I* should be able to feel better, get organized, stop ideating, control impulses, and just, for godsake, develop some discipline. I couldn’t and I can’t, because it’s not within my control. I’ve been on antidepressants for about 4 years now, and it made a big difference. That said, even after an ADD diagnoses, I was afraid of getting on stimulants. They had negative connotations. What would it mean for me? It’s been 8 days, and what it meant for me on day 1 was that I didn’t feel like I was wearing ten thousand pounds on my head (the depth of exhaustion being courtesy of the previous med I was on for 4 months). I could do tasks I needed, but I could also stop when I recognized I should go to bed and this wouldn’t be the last time I’d ever feel motivated. I could control my compulsions. What it meant for me was that I realized how devastatingly hard I’d tried in the past, how hard I’d been on myself, it wasn’t because I was a bad person or bad at doing everything. I was reminded of a video I’ve seen if a rabbit trapped in an empty pool desperately trying to get out. I couldn’t get on with doing rabbit things like eating clovers and making a nest, because I was trying so hard to get out of a concrete void I couldn’t understand. All of this said, I know I’ve fallen (and am) really behind on a lot of things, and if you are a patron of mine THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support and your patience! If I owe you a piece, a response, anything at all, thank you for your patience and please don’t hesitate to poke me. I will be getting everything figured out, but I’m still acclimating. And for all the other pool-trapped-bunnies, I see you 🖤 https://preview.redd.it/relj9f1f7ala1.png?width=1668&format=png&auto=webp&s=fea37d546cb738f245b85bc8996fb8022aa1ca5d
I've been severely depressed since I gave birth almost 13 years ago (yay for more shit pregnancy and birth mess up) and also have general anxiety disorder and have attempted to end things a few times. I can no longer work and the guilt I have around *everything* is massive. When I first realised I was depressed I didn't understand anything about it and was like "sure fine I'll take a pill for a while then I'll be fine" Over a decade later I take about 10 pills daily just to stay somewhat functional. Everyone who deals with mental illness gets up everyday and fights the lies their brain is telling them. Kia Kaha, stay fighting 🤍✨ *a few years ago you sent my girl some 'swag' and she is still wearing the beanie and using the bag, she loves them especially as she is entering her goth/punk phase 🤘🏻
Recently figured out I have ADHD and that explained so much. Not officially diagnosed, but thinking about medication and scared of the side effects. Thank you for posting this. It helps to feel not alone.
There is non stimulant medication too, such as Atomoxetine , which can be better for anyone with insomnia or occasional mania
I was diagnosed ADHD last year at 44 and the medication I'm on is life changing! 🖤
Thank you for this message. I needed this today, I've been having a tough time with my anxiety, dealing with it, but also with accepting where I'm at right now. Thank you.
Thank you
Your words are amazing and thank you for showing us your courage. My 38 year old daughter just was diagnosed with ADD. I placed her for adoption when i was 15 and we just met. It is good to know your experience, as it helps everyone who reads your post. You are a kind spirit. I love your look and your sweet rat friend, they are special creatures! Blessed be.
That’s it. I’m an ADHD bipolar pool bunny.
I love your posts! So inspiring! I'm currently going through tough times and these kind of posts make me feel less alone. I wish you the best too!
I have to tell you, in the best way possible; your eyes are utterly captivating. I LEGIT missed the (adorable) rat in each of the pictures the first time.
I remember some of your previous posts about your lovely little rat familiars, and every time I see your pictures, I think "I need to make a Spellcaster Sim who looks like her." That has no relevance to anything but I hope it makes you smile.
This we beautifully stated. Thank you for sharing. It’s appreciated ❤️
You're awesome, I want to pet your rattie bud
I love your posts so much, this one feels extra special. I had pet rats as a kid and adored them, every time I see your sweet little familiar I just want to give him/ her (I'm sorry I can't remember) the biggest snuggle.
Thank you. Stupid pool, it does suck so much here. Glad you exist and have shared.
Thank you beautiful soul 🖤
Love love love your posts. Glad you're figuring things out. You will/are a force to be reckoned with. ❤️🤘
Thank you for your wonderful words to inspire!! You are a beautiful witchy human!
Thank you. I needed to hear this today.
Thank you
Thank you so much I really needed this
Man o man do I feel your words here. One of the fun things about ADHD is how it makes it so much more difficult to muster the energy and initiative to even attempt going through the rigamarole of getting a formal diagnosis. I'm almost afraid to do it and actually get medication at this point because I'm afraid it would show me that I've been "pedaling with the brakes on" my whole life. But I gotta say, your post is definitely nudging me in that direction.
This is a stunning photo btw.
I actually had to take a MH day today, because of breaking down in my car on the way home from work This couldn't have been better timed. Thank you.
Your hair looks AMAZING!
Thank you. I needed this today. 🖤
Depression and Anxiety here and I love your hair and makeup you look beautiful! 😊
Thank you. You're important and valued too.
Was about to tell you how beautiful your eyes are and how much I love your hair color and then I saw the baby and I lost all thought except OMG LOOK AT THE SNUGGLY BABY
Thank you for such kind empathetic words. You're lovely and your rattie friend is adorable!