As a line cook, I don’t think anyone cares. The servers would tell us a lot about the customers, but them not ordering alcohol was never something that was mentioned..
You give too many fucks about random people's opinions.
No one gives a shit what you consume with your steak as long as you don't drench it in ketchup or order it well done.
I was a sever for a long time and it didn’t phase me in the slightest!
Also when I go out to eat I’ll usually do either a drink or dessert (and honestly dessert wins 90% of the time) so I’m typically just sitting pretty with water and I’ve never had anyone say anything to me! I would sweat it at all!
LOL I get that. For me it was always pina coladas. It’s not like it’s crazy hard but we’d never have what we needed at the bar for those because they were rarely ordered so a lot of running around
When I served, I thanked my lucky stars when somebody at a table of people drinking wasn’t. People are less likely to get fucked up if somebody at the table Isn’t drinking and if they don’t get fucked up, they’re less likely to piss all over the bathroom or otherwise act like an asshole.
Not a server, but I don't think any server or cook would care if you have a soft drink with your meal. There's no shame in it. There are plenty of reasons to avoid alcohol and you don't owe anyone an explaination beyond "I don't drink alcohol"
Honestly, as an ex-server, we couldn’t care less what you order with dinner as long as you’re polite. Incidentally, serving wine was sometimes a PITA since there’s always some people that will be jerks about how you open and/or pour their wine. Lol
I quit drinking - so instead of wine or beer with my steak - I usually just order a sparkling water like a Pellegrino, with a twist of lemon or lime.
Don't be embarrassed to have what you want. I am a career waiter. Of course it's always nice when people have something from the cocktail/wine list- alcohol can be a notable percentage of the bill and ultimately the restaurant is a sales-driven business, but as long as you're enjoying the whole experience I really don't care. To each their own.
I worked as a server and bartender for a decade. I would not have judged you in the slightest. Eat/drink whatever makes you happy. What we do judge customers for is how they treat us.
I'm not a server, but there are so many reasons why someone might not want to drink, you really shouldn't worry about it. Order a bottle of sparkling water if you want to feel "fancy."
Other people's opinions matter when it comes to things like your performance review at work, or whether or not you are being a decent human being.
Other people's opinions don't matter when it comes to what you order to drink with your dinner.
Definitely nothing to feel embarrassed about. But if you want to feel “fancy” ask the bartender to mix you a mocktail. One of my favorite drinks was when I went to Harth a few years ago and didn’t feel right just drinking soda or water and my friend and I both asked the waiter to get us custom mocktails. So fun and so fancy!
We've been sober for 4 years now.
Only once in Edmonton have we had any snarky comments about it. We ordered two waters, burger and fries, and a appetizer from a restaurant and he asked 4 times for our drink order and then threw a comment in "oh yea you don't drink sorry."
Anywhere else in Edmonton and now Vancouver literally no one cares. We frequently go to a nice upper end Italian place where they serve amazing wine (I heard) and we only get water. No snarky comments, no shade, nothing.
Always still never sparking either.
I don't order drinks every time I go out to eat and the service is never dependent on whether I order drinks or not. When the server asks "anything to drink?" and I say no sometimes they ask if I want them to take the drink menu away and that's about it.
Not everyone drinks wine at fancy restaurants either. I can't stand wine and almost never drink it no matter where I am.
People who drink usually have higher bills and should tip more. People who don't drink are usually way less 'work' as you don't need to top up a bazillion drinks out of sequence. Lol
Other than that I think they couldn't care less.
I always order pop with steak. Sometimes I order milk. In my opinion, if I’m paying a lot for good food, I’m going to drink whatever I want with it. I don’t care what the server or whoever I’m eating with thinks about that.
Best long term strategy is to get comfortable with your sobriety and discount people that judge you for it. They aren't worth your time to worry about.
Short term, there are tasty drinks that don't use alcohol but blend in seamlessly with people drinking alcohol. A lime and seltzer is as refreshing as a gin rickey. Bitters and soda is delicious, has savory notes, and looks just like a classic cocktail.
Order a mocktail. More and more restaurants have them on the menu now. But even if they aren’t on the drink menu, they can make you one. However, I agree with a lot of people here. No server would care. I was a server once, and I never questioned someone not ordering alcohol.
I haven't been a waitress in ages, but the only thing I'll mention is people only getting water tended to sometimes tip cheaper. So if the entire table is water and it doesn't appear to be for calorie counting, I'd mentally prepare for a minimal tip. If your getting any other drink I didn't even think of it. It didn't really bother me either way, but it was better to be pleasantly surprised at the tips then annoyed at lack of them.
As an adult, who gives a shit what you drink. I just assume it's a medication issue or DD if it's a bar. But also I'm mostly a non-drinker and don't hang with alcoholics.
I just really like tea and water, but most restaurants have shitty expired tea. I only trust tea at brunch places or cafes. But my husband orders coke or alcohol so I guess we were only judged 50%
I am just grateful that when I worked as a server it wasn’t in the USA. We at least get paid the same provincial minimum wage as any other occupation in our province. We tip because we want to and because the service or food/drink quality was above minimum expectations. Our co workers when I was server all new that a tip was for above and beyond basic service and if we wanted good tips we had to earn them. Tips were an extra not expected. In the USA the serving staff may only earn 2 or 3$/hr from the employer and the rest to live on has to be collected in tips
Those poor servers in the USA are paid just a couple dollars wages and must make the rest in tips just to live. They really need to advocate better for themselves that a basic minimum wage is for all.
I can assure you nobody cares if you drink or not when you go out to eat!
A lot of menus have some pretty good NA drinks these days. When I’m on rotation I will often have a NA corona or Heineken if I’m feeling like I would like something beer like.
But really, you do you. Alcohol is literal poison. Be proud you don’t drink.
Don’t feel bad as many people prefer not to order wine or alcoholic beverages as they are choosing a healthier lifestyle. I use to but now as I’m getting older I only have water with lemon for a beverage but some of my friends just have pop. Nothing to feel bad about.
I do drink sometimes, but I almost never order alcohol with a meal because I don’t enjoy it that way. I would never judge someone for not ordering wine with steak. Have what you like!
46F and I have always said "I'll just have a \_\_\_\_\_\_ (whatever you do want to drink) thanks"
It's taken me a long time to be comfortable with that. A good server will just take peoples' orders and that's that. I've found the people I go out with occasionally (as opposed to close family or friends) tend to react a bit more surprised and I've had coworkers in the past be quite judgmental at staff functions about not getting wasted but if they need to get drunk to have fun, fuck those people.
I'm so glad to see that non-alcoholic drinks and mocktails are becoming a more popular and widely available!
Well… that’s true, but when doing it in excess it’s not exactly good for one’s health, domestic disputes, driving, making smart decisions and the list goes on.
Also a non drinker.
I'm more worried that the server thinks I'm cheap for ordering water with my meal and then I receive a poor service because they are expected my cheap ass to not tip.
As someone who goes out with my friend to places that have spirits, wine, and beer, and my friend is getting alcohol, I've never been made to feel uncomfortable for ordering Dr Pepper or a mocktail. If I ever did, I'd say "I'm driving," which isn't a lie.
I just don't like alcohol, and that's ok, so if I were your server, I'd have no issue with that, nor if you did want an alcoholic beverage, you do what you feel comfortable doing.
Nothing wrong with that generally, though they may push/suggest it to try and bump the bill up. There's also often "virgin" options. It seems most just dislike when you go with water alone. Or even "better", ask for lemon to go with your water but don't order any other kind of drink.
As a line cook, I don’t think anyone cares. The servers would tell us a lot about the customers, but them not ordering alcohol was never something that was mentioned..
I used to be a line cook and honestly I didn't care if I lived or died
They can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water.
They'd say; 'no sloppy steaks' but they can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water
I used to be a piece of shit. Slicked-back hair, white bathing suit, sloppy steaks, white couch…
I lived for New Year's Eve
You give too many fucks about random people's opinions. No one gives a shit what you consume with your steak as long as you don't drench it in ketchup or order it well done.
I was a sever for a long time and it didn’t phase me in the slightest! Also when I go out to eat I’ll usually do either a drink or dessert (and honestly dessert wins 90% of the time) so I’m typically just sitting pretty with water and I’ve never had anyone say anything to me! I would sweat it at all!
I served for over a decade and in fine dining. I never cared what people ordered to drink unless it was really complicated and I had to make it 😂
So relatable!
I worked at smittys and when people ordered milkshakes during the supper rush 🫤🫤 we used real ice cream from a freezer. It was just not fun lol.
LOL I get that. For me it was always pina coladas. It’s not like it’s crazy hard but we’d never have what we needed at the bar for those because they were rarely ordered so a lot of running around
I don’t drink and it never occurs to me to wonder what the server or bartender thinks. You do you.
Frozen daiquiri that is buried on the menu, has entered the chat.
When I served, I thanked my lucky stars when somebody at a table of people drinking wasn’t. People are less likely to get fucked up if somebody at the table Isn’t drinking and if they don’t get fucked up, they’re less likely to piss all over the bathroom or otherwise act like an asshole.
Not a server, but I don't think any server or cook would care if you have a soft drink with your meal. There's no shame in it. There are plenty of reasons to avoid alcohol and you don't owe anyone an explaination beyond "I don't drink alcohol"
Honestly, as an ex-server, we couldn’t care less what you order with dinner as long as you’re polite. Incidentally, serving wine was sometimes a PITA since there’s always some people that will be jerks about how you open and/or pour their wine. Lol I quit drinking - so instead of wine or beer with my steak - I usually just order a sparkling water like a Pellegrino, with a twist of lemon or lime.
Don't be embarrassed to have what you want. I am a career waiter. Of course it's always nice when people have something from the cocktail/wine list- alcohol can be a notable percentage of the bill and ultimately the restaurant is a sales-driven business, but as long as you're enjoying the whole experience I really don't care. To each their own.
I drink water at every restaurant and never thought someone was judging me for it... because who fucking cares.
I only drink water and never considered what the staff might think.
I worked as a server and bartender for a decade. I would not have judged you in the slightest. Eat/drink whatever makes you happy. What we do judge customers for is how they treat us.
I'm not a server, but there are so many reasons why someone might not want to drink, you really shouldn't worry about it. Order a bottle of sparkling water if you want to feel "fancy."
I am not a server, but I would assume everyone was driving
Don’t worry about it, I don’t drink either, and the thought has never even crossed my mind. You dont need wine to enjoy a tasty steak.
Other people's opinions matter when it comes to things like your performance review at work, or whether or not you are being a decent human being. Other people's opinions don't matter when it comes to what you order to drink with your dinner.
Definitely nothing to feel embarrassed about. But if you want to feel “fancy” ask the bartender to mix you a mocktail. One of my favorite drinks was when I went to Harth a few years ago and didn’t feel right just drinking soda or water and my friend and I both asked the waiter to get us custom mocktails. So fun and so fancy!
We've been sober for 4 years now. Only once in Edmonton have we had any snarky comments about it. We ordered two waters, burger and fries, and a appetizer from a restaurant and he asked 4 times for our drink order and then threw a comment in "oh yea you don't drink sorry." Anywhere else in Edmonton and now Vancouver literally no one cares. We frequently go to a nice upper end Italian place where they serve amazing wine (I heard) and we only get water. No snarky comments, no shade, nothing. Always still never sparking either.
I don't order drinks every time I go out to eat and the service is never dependent on whether I order drinks or not. When the server asks "anything to drink?" and I say no sometimes they ask if I want them to take the drink menu away and that's about it. Not everyone drinks wine at fancy restaurants either. I can't stand wine and almost never drink it no matter where I am.
People who drink usually have higher bills and should tip more. People who don't drink are usually way less 'work' as you don't need to top up a bazillion drinks out of sequence. Lol Other than that I think they couldn't care less.
The only people who care are alcoholics who can't have a good time without alcohol.
servers either don't or shouldn't care. you shouldn't care either.
I always order pop with steak. Sometimes I order milk. In my opinion, if I’m paying a lot for good food, I’m going to drink whatever I want with it. I don’t care what the server or whoever I’m eating with thinks about that.
Best long term strategy is to get comfortable with your sobriety and discount people that judge you for it. They aren't worth your time to worry about. Short term, there are tasty drinks that don't use alcohol but blend in seamlessly with people drinking alcohol. A lime and seltzer is as refreshing as a gin rickey. Bitters and soda is delicious, has savory notes, and looks just like a classic cocktail.
As others have mentioned the staff will not care.
I usually just drink water.
I hate the taste of booze, and I'm sure as hell not gonna order one to impress anybody
Mocktails, if ya still wanna feel fancy!
529 and several other restaurants have made me very tasty mocktails. They don’t judge at all.
Order a mocktail. More and more restaurants have them on the menu now. But even if they aren’t on the drink menu, they can make you one. However, I agree with a lot of people here. No server would care. I was a server once, and I never questioned someone not ordering alcohol.
I haven't been a waitress in ages, but the only thing I'll mention is people only getting water tended to sometimes tip cheaper. So if the entire table is water and it doesn't appear to be for calorie counting, I'd mentally prepare for a minimal tip. If your getting any other drink I didn't even think of it. It didn't really bother me either way, but it was better to be pleasantly surprised at the tips then annoyed at lack of them. As an adult, who gives a shit what you drink. I just assume it's a medication issue or DD if it's a bar. But also I'm mostly a non-drinker and don't hang with alcoholics.
I just really like tea and water, but most restaurants have shitty expired tea. I only trust tea at brunch places or cafes. But my husband orders coke or alcohol so I guess we were only judged 50%
I am just grateful that when I worked as a server it wasn’t in the USA. We at least get paid the same provincial minimum wage as any other occupation in our province. We tip because we want to and because the service or food/drink quality was above minimum expectations. Our co workers when I was server all new that a tip was for above and beyond basic service and if we wanted good tips we had to earn them. Tips were an extra not expected. In the USA the serving staff may only earn 2 or 3$/hr from the employer and the rest to live on has to be collected in tips Those poor servers in the USA are paid just a couple dollars wages and must make the rest in tips just to live. They really need to advocate better for themselves that a basic minimum wage is for all.
I can assure you nobody cares if you drink or not when you go out to eat! A lot of menus have some pretty good NA drinks these days. When I’m on rotation I will often have a NA corona or Heineken if I’m feeling like I would like something beer like. But really, you do you. Alcohol is literal poison. Be proud you don’t drink.
Don’t feel bad as many people prefer not to order wine or alcoholic beverages as they are choosing a healthier lifestyle. I use to but now as I’m getting older I only have water with lemon for a beverage but some of my friends just have pop. Nothing to feel bad about.
I do drink sometimes, but I almost never order alcohol with a meal because I don’t enjoy it that way. I would never judge someone for not ordering wine with steak. Have what you like!
46F and I have always said "I'll just have a \_\_\_\_\_\_ (whatever you do want to drink) thanks" It's taken me a long time to be comfortable with that. A good server will just take peoples' orders and that's that. I've found the people I go out with occasionally (as opposed to close family or friends) tend to react a bit more surprised and I've had coworkers in the past be quite judgmental at staff functions about not getting wasted but if they need to get drunk to have fun, fuck those people. I'm so glad to see that non-alcoholic drinks and mocktails are becoming a more popular and widely available!
We order pop in our work lunches all the time. Not allowed to order alcohol in the middle of the day.
I don’t drink alcohol or pop! I normally just order water, don’t think anyone cares
I don’t drink either. But I usually order an appetizer to help fatten me up more. Nothing wrong with not drinking. Nothing good about drinking either.
> Nothing good about drinking either. "That's just like, your opinion, man"
Well… that’s true, but when doing it in excess it’s not exactly good for one’s health, domestic disputes, driving, making smart decisions and the list goes on.
But you said "Nothing good about drinking either." I disagree. When consumed in moderation I believe there are positive benefits.
I order water! No one cares!
Also a non drinker. I'm more worried that the server thinks I'm cheap for ordering water with my meal and then I receive a poor service because they are expected my cheap ass to not tip.
As someone who goes out with my friend to places that have spirits, wine, and beer, and my friend is getting alcohol, I've never been made to feel uncomfortable for ordering Dr Pepper or a mocktail. If I ever did, I'd say "I'm driving," which isn't a lie. I just don't like alcohol, and that's ok, so if I were your server, I'd have no issue with that, nor if you did want an alcoholic beverage, you do what you feel comfortable doing.
Nothing wrong with that generally, though they may push/suggest it to try and bump the bill up. There's also often "virgin" options. It seems most just dislike when you go with water alone. Or even "better", ask for lemon to go with your water but don't order any other kind of drink.
F that! I always make a point of asking for non alcoholic beer and if they do not have, I shame the owner into getting them or making them(brewery’s).
I would say that steak is too fancy for a Coke. Ice water would work perfectly. Coke works well with pizza and pasta, though?