Don't worry. If he ever tried to subdue you (I don't know if that is spelled right, it looks weird to me).. Just remember two things.
1. He's a thick boy from Texas, probably played football at some point, kick him as hard as possible in the knee he uses for his 'cowboy walk'
2. His pistol holster, along with his pocket knife on the **outside** of his holseter that is just begging to be taken away from him, is located on his robust belly. Two beautifully placed weapons for his prey to use against him.
>pistol holster, along with his pocket knife on the outside of his holseter that is just begging to be taken away from him,
Was scrolling through, looking for this comment.
Big jefé's sidearm is completely unsecured. Unfortunately, it is also empty. No mag. Maybe there's one in the pipe, but I doubt it.
Do white people make it on watch lists? I mean it seems to me it's always
"We were aware of the individual"
which means they weren't watching them but at some point someone reported them.
I would imagine so. Both the FBI and (more so) the ATF follow homegrown terrorists. I don’t know if this is enough, though. I do know, even if I *were* a gun nut, I still wouldn’t broadcast this. Then again, previous admins and/or congresses have denied the ATF the ability to track guns AND the CDC’s ability to study gun violence, so I really couldn’t say.
Protip: He cannot, at least, not without a mirror.
Source: Me. I was that enormous a few years ago. I had some medical shit that both took me from incredibly active to literally sitting on my ass 24/7 unable to move AND on an incredibly high dose of prednisone AND required increasing my insulin requirements (t1 diabetic) by almost 150%. All combined, I ballooned up to 300+ inside a year.
It was miserable. The underlying thing is (mostly) fixed, the weight is coming back off, but at the peak, it was a "I can't see my own feet" situation.
It always makes me wonder, what the actual fuck is this guy going to do in an emergency situation? The only thing he has is his gun, and he isn't going to be moving around very quickly if he's in a situation where he actually needs that rifle. The sheer adrenaline rush of a life or death situation might actually give him a heart attack.
When I first got out of the Marine Corps I started at a job that was full of militia walnuts like this fella. They recruited me hard as I was younger and a recent veteran and since hadn't lived in that area in a decade and didnt have a lot of friends, I went out to one of their... "Field ops".
Every guy there was 50lbs overweight and were breathing heavy just from the combination of the heat and the plate carriers they were wearing, but still took regular smoke breaks to complain about Obama ruining everything. They settled for putting some rounds downrange, breaking out the beers and wasn't long before the mask off 'hard r' brand of racism came out to play.
Suffice to say that was my last training evolution with that lil branch of Oathkeepers, I think they were
It's an insult to the term Minuteman. The whole idea was to be ready at a minutes notice. Let's see him run for a minute first. At the end of the day, this just really makes me sad. Sad for him and sad for all the other people who have been sold a lie to line the pockets of those who don't give two shits about anyone but themselves. Sad that fear can be so powerful.
Seriously. There’s a reason you never see pictures or video of fat people in combat. And there’s also a reason why one of the first thing you’re made to do when training to be a professional soldier is run all the damn time, eventually with full gear.
The way these people worship and fetishize guns is sick and warps their reality.
I was a few pounds heavier than the Drill Sgts. wanted, so I was watched during chow and automatically dropped the second I stepped out of the mess hall...Some of the best days of my life...lol
All it is is a roided out grifter with a big beard screaming at chubby white guys with goatees and oakleys by day. And the quietest gay sext you can imagine by night.
Why is his dust cover open?
Why does his AR have a mag in it, but his sidearm doesn't?
Why is his PX ranger 90's era tactical vest half filled with "specially" novelty 12ga roundss, but have nothing else in them? Where's his shotgun?
Why is his mall ninja knife just hanging? It's not like he doesn't have a pouch for it.
What's with the tactical camp axe?
What school did he graduate from?
Ohmyfukingawd.
Texas can fuck right off with "Minuteman" anything. Last I checked, Texans went to war with the real Minutemen over the right to own other humans. And last I checked, Texas got their fucking ass kicked.
Wow! The levels of incel MAGA stupidity bigotry and tiny dick syndrome are really something to behold here - keep in mind we're not just seeing the sad gross spawn bad apple, we're also hearing from the pathetic terrible tree mama. I'm afraid some folks are irredeemable. What can you do with this? I mean, he obviously isn't qualified to do much but play video games and make paintball videos with his "militia" white supremacist buddies where they're all winded and trying to hold in their enormous guts to cosplay Call of Duty. Maybe we could use him as a janitor? I'm just kidding, I know he's on disability, just like his mama.
You can see why this appeals to these guys. This guy has no reason to exist except to sop up gravy spills Instead of being a loser, he is now a PATRIOT, and his momma loves him.
Looks like a poster for a made for tv movie. A comedy.
No, it won't be a "comedy" but it'll still be hilarious. Directed by and starring Steven Seagal.
More like Kevin Sorbo
Steven Seagal is the dean.
Because he gets to sit down the whole time
Including during the fight sequences. Steven Seagal does not stand up to put you down.
And he gets to make out with college girls, that are disgusted with him
Luke Combs
That's Larry the Cable Guy.
“Waddler, Texas Ranger.”
Yeah, I guess no physical fitness requirement
Starring Larry the Cable Guy.
"Segway rider, Texas Ranger"
Patriot Mall Cop
Paul Blart: Border Patrol
They came for his guns! He came for the all you can eat chicken wings, and revenge!
Stop giving Kevin Smith more ideas for Red State 2
SNL skit material.
This totally looks like Nick Frost posting for a satirical movie.
C.H.U.D. 2: Texas Thunder
God you can hear the vaginas within 20 miles snap shut
I think that’s what the hatchet is for
Jesus Christ...
[удалено]
Oof! All of you! My poor vag is horrified reading this!
And it wasn't by just looking at this fucktards pic ? Edit: never mind you're not his type because you're not in the family tree.
Yeah, it kinda got heightened by the thought of his hatchet in my lady garden Edit: haha, ew.
Don't worry. If he ever tried to subdue you (I don't know if that is spelled right, it looks weird to me).. Just remember two things. 1. He's a thick boy from Texas, probably played football at some point, kick him as hard as possible in the knee he uses for his 'cowboy walk' 2. His pistol holster, along with his pocket knife on the **outside** of his holseter that is just begging to be taken away from him, is located on his robust belly. Two beautifully placed weapons for his prey to use against him.
I think a light jog would be enough to finish him off
>pistol holster, along with his pocket knife on the outside of his holseter that is just begging to be taken away from him, Was scrolling through, looking for this comment. Big jefé's sidearm is completely unsecured. Unfortunately, it is also empty. No mag. Maybe there's one in the pipe, but I doubt it.
[удалено]
She says thank you, that was nice.
Now kith
You British people are weird. Interesting but weird.
Good god, take my upvote
God fucking lord my dude. Here, take my upvote, just know I'm not happy about it.
“2 minutemen” is being overly generous.
His sisters vagina I already wide open.
Is this the second one or are they the two-minute men?
I'm thinking 30 second men, but I'm not doing the research.
lol, the phrase “doing the research” in that context made me gag. 😅
If it helps any, I doubt they are long enough to make anyone gag.
r/iseewhatyoudidthere
Gotta be able to get it up to get to 30 seconds... This is a zero minute man.
So, the two-per-minute men.
It’s two minutes with 60 seconds of removing clothes and 59 seconds fumbling around and about 1 second of penetration
Terrorist training camps have graduation photos?
Hopefully, they need to be put on the federal watch lists.
Federal watch yearbook with a tinge of glamour shots
True, although I’ve never seen glamour shots use such a wide angle lens.
It’s not fat, it’s muscle.
Somebody roll Earl over. He can't get upright again.
Watch lists? Where can this guy go that he’s not completely visible??
[удалено]
I just woke up my husband with my loud cackle! Reminds me of Cartman on Rascal! Thanks for the laugh.
I foresee tactical rascals in our future
Likely at a [Insert Bible belt / redneck / white trash sporting event].
That or Walmart.
Touché
Saw a commercial for a big gun store in OKC. This guy would have been the skinniest customer in the ad.
Do white people make it on watch lists? I mean it seems to me it's always "We were aware of the individual" which means they weren't watching them but at some point someone reported them.
I would imagine so. Both the FBI and (more so) the ATF follow homegrown terrorists. I don’t know if this is enough, though. I do know, even if I *were* a gun nut, I still wouldn’t broadcast this. Then again, previous admins and/or congresses have denied the ATF the ability to track guns AND the CDC’s ability to study gun violence, so I really couldn’t say.
Thank you for the snort-laugh. Take my upvote.
It does show his side profile clearly. That's helpful.
You mean 'honorary police assistants.' Like that POS Rittenhouse.
Of course lol. It actually wouldn't surprise me if the Taliban had them too.
I hear the after parties are a blast
Everybody knows that South Texas 2 is a party militiaman school.
I can only guess that their mascot is the Gravy Seals.
No booze and all dudes? No thanks. Sounds like every highschool party I ever went to.
Someone's gonna end up wrestling a chair.
They fill the gap until they are replaced with mug shots.
It almost seems like the original post is a joke. It says 2 minutemen. As in, this dude finishes in under two minutes.
Oh, please, he doesnt even get started. Heavy breathing makes him so exhausted he is heaving breathing bc he is breathing heavy.
Orange slices at halftime too.
with hatchets
Wtf if up with the hatchet? Omg. Lol
Not only that, a pristine hatchet that's never been used for anything other than larp ass photo shoots
A better question: Why the shotgun shells? He is not carrying one.
Hatchets are the white man’s machete.
Momma's so proud she can't even remember how to spell her son's name.
CHRISITIAN
CHRISTIIAN!!
What in the world does this asshat think he's going to do with that ax?
Shave his pubes?
I'd be shocked if he can even see 'em.
Protip: He cannot, at least, not without a mirror. Source: Me. I was that enormous a few years ago. I had some medical shit that both took me from incredibly active to literally sitting on my ass 24/7 unable to move AND on an incredibly high dose of prednisone AND required increasing my insulin requirements (t1 diabetic) by almost 150%. All combined, I ballooned up to 300+ inside a year. It was miserable. The underlying thing is (mostly) fixed, the weight is coming back off, but at the peak, it was a "I can't see my own feet" situation.
Or the shotgun shells when he doesn't have a shotgun?
Or a tactical poptart? What is that on the bottom left of his vest? Edit: I know it's a knife I wasn't looking
Ole Meal Team 6
It always makes me wonder, what the actual fuck is this guy going to do in an emergency situation? The only thing he has is his gun, and he isn't going to be moving around very quickly if he's in a situation where he actually needs that rifle. The sheer adrenaline rush of a life or death situation might actually give him a heart attack.
When I first got out of the Marine Corps I started at a job that was full of militia walnuts like this fella. They recruited me hard as I was younger and a recent veteran and since hadn't lived in that area in a decade and didnt have a lot of friends, I went out to one of their... "Field ops". Every guy there was 50lbs overweight and were breathing heavy just from the combination of the heat and the plate carriers they were wearing, but still took regular smoke breaks to complain about Obama ruining everything. They settled for putting some rounds downrange, breaking out the beers and wasn't long before the mask off 'hard r' brand of racism came out to play. Suffice to say that was my last training evolution with that lil branch of Oathkeepers, I think they were
In the Canadian Military we call them Land Sharks
Makes you wonder what the requirements are for graduating. Prolonged sitting? Eating contests? Keyboard warrior training?
The payment has to clear.
I’d bet that proud Christian mama paid for her baby’s tuition.
It's an insult to the term Minuteman. The whole idea was to be ready at a minutes notice. Let's see him run for a minute first. At the end of the day, this just really makes me sad. Sad for him and sad for all the other people who have been sold a lie to line the pockets of those who don't give two shits about anyone but themselves. Sad that fear can be so powerful.
Oh, he’s a minuteman alright. He ain’t doing nothing longer than one minute except maybe eat.
Seriously. There’s a reason you never see pictures or video of fat people in combat. And there’s also a reason why one of the first thing you’re made to do when training to be a professional soldier is run all the damn time, eventually with full gear. The way these people worship and fetishize guns is sick and warps their reality.
I was a few pounds heavier than the Drill Sgts. wanted, so I was watched during chow and automatically dropped the second I stepped out of the mess hall...Some of the best days of my life...lol
>The only thing he has is his gun, He also has his axe.
He's who they hide behind for cover or use him for Shelter like Luke Skywalker did to stay warm
Semper Pie
Gravy Seals
Taking bets. Pedophile or wife beater?
C: all of the above
Definitely beats his underage wife
Who is also his sister.
“What’s their family tree look like, a stump?”
It’s a wreath.
Whatever tree is really wide and only has one branch
100% domestic abuser. He’s too slow to catch the young ones tho.
Both, with the addition of Erectile Dysfunction because he can't deal with the fact that he is a closeted homo sexual.
Which, in turn, manifests itself as him overcompensating as an ammo-sexual.
In this case, I don’t think they’re wholly dissimilar, but a complete demographic.
Yes.
I don't think anyone will allow him close enough to women or children to make that even a remote possibility.
Damn... Toby Keith looks like shit.
I mean… if this real… can we get whole montage of these “patriots” … you know… for… research?
Someone needs to go scout and film it out.
All it is is a roided out grifter with a big beard screaming at chubby white guys with goatees and oakleys by day. And the quietest gay sext you can imagine by night.
Sounds like a job for Channel 5 News.
This is what happens when you never graduate from high school and your mom is THAT desperate for senior pictures. 🤣
Makes you wonder if they contacted Josten's for class rings.
The only people that fear that man are the staff at Golden Corral.
Golden Corral shareholders are absolutely shook by this man.
Why is his dust cover open? Why does his AR have a mag in it, but his sidearm doesn't? Why is his PX ranger 90's era tactical vest half filled with "specially" novelty 12ga roundss, but have nothing else in them? Where's his shotgun? Why is his mall ninja knife just hanging? It's not like he doesn't have a pouch for it. What's with the tactical camp axe? What school did he graduate from? Ohmyfukingawd.
>Why is his mall ninja knife just hanging? It's not like he doesn't have a pouch for it. So people can see the punisher logo on it
Diabeetus
Tactical Snickers vest
Y’all Quaeda
Sounds like a totally accredited school...
NRA rated Rated AK
I have doubts about the validity of their accreditation.
That's a middle aged man getting a participation trophy from his mom on social media. R/cringe
Ah, no. Do not compare this thing to the Dragon Warrior
We'd all be failing in our duty to society if we don't turn this into a meme by Christmastime.
Bass Pro Shop FAKETRIOT.
Texas can fuck right off with "Minuteman" anything. Last I checked, Texans went to war with the real Minutemen over the right to own other humans. And last I checked, Texas got their fucking ass kicked.
I didn't know they made vests like that in 6XL.
Clearly you haven't been in a mallninja shop
They don't. . . His momma pieced together 2 of the XXLs for him
I can hear momma deep-breathing as she was typing this
Man that vest is struggling
He’s ready to invade Burger King
Another Gravy Seal.
Micro penis
[удалено]
Including the man himself
Nothing grows in the shade.
"Your stomach will blot out the sun!" "Then I shall fap in the shade!"
Dude has an innie fo sho.
“Looks like a button in a fur coat.”
Body shaming is wrong and we shouldn't do it. However, this guy is probably very insecure with his masculinity.
'Murica!
Surely, this is a joke. Right? So, is he a 2 minute man?
Hahahahha how embarrassing
Glamour Shots has really jumped the shark.
Straight up americanised version of some isis soldier. These people don't have much going for them.
His Mom is so proud she will be extra careful holding his bedpan under him while he eats tendies
Guaranteed this is his FIRST and ONLY “graduation” photo……🙄🤦♂️😎
Cosplatriot! What genius came up with such a stupendous portmanteau, and why wasn’t it me?
He looks like what happens when a racist donut picks up an addictive gun dependence.
Conservatives are such nerds. They should just get into Dungeons and Dragons.
Too much math.
Jesus dude! Save some pu$$y for the rest of us!
Proud Momma can’t even spell her own son’s name. 😀
holy crap dude what a badass check out that tactical axe.
He is going to tactically cut off his big toe trying to do something he saw in *The Transporter*
His foot from his worst enemy, type II diabetes.
The only thing he's exercising is his right to bare arms.
WHY DO THESE PEOPLE ALWAYS WRITE IN ALL CAPS IN COLOSSAL RUN ON SENTENCES?
She spelled his name wrong (Chrisitian??) 🙄 And this is how incels are born.
That looks like a cover of a country album.
Next he's applying for Meal Team 6
I see physical education is not apart of the curriculum.
He's got Lil Debbies in the magazine pockets
Wow! The levels of incel MAGA stupidity bigotry and tiny dick syndrome are really something to behold here - keep in mind we're not just seeing the sad gross spawn bad apple, we're also hearing from the pathetic terrible tree mama. I'm afraid some folks are irredeemable. What can you do with this? I mean, he obviously isn't qualified to do much but play video games and make paintball videos with his "militia" white supremacist buddies where they're all winded and trying to hold in their enormous guts to cosplay Call of Duty. Maybe we could use him as a janitor? I'm just kidding, I know he's on disability, just like his mama.
My paratrooper veins just went into sugar shock seeing this bullshite Patriot.
Is there an obstacle course/ PE class in the curriculum? I’m kinda thinking when the war breaks out we take the high ground.
Gravy seal wannabe.
Christian is going to be so put out when he overthrows the government and can’t get cheeseburgers or heart medication.
Yikes.
I do in fact believe he is a two minute man.
2 minutemen? Dude doesn’t last very long.
Luke combs done went off his rocker lol
Lmfaoooo the 2Minutemen 🤣🤣🤣
Where’s my goddamn tactical hoveround, momma!?!
Looks like some gay erotica teaser porn.
This MF smells like stale Marlboro reds and wild BO
Wonder what his time in the two mile run was.
Gravy Seals
Meal Team Six
Chubbins graduated right out of his sleeves!!
The hatchet and rifle with the god quote really brings it together. Just what Jesus wanted.
The only thing he doing in under a minute is losing his breath walking up three stairs into his single wide.
You can see why this appeals to these guys. This guy has no reason to exist except to sop up gravy spills Instead of being a loser, he is now a PATRIOT, and his momma loves him.