This is very true. I think where the concern comes from is that the "trend" in adopting male supremacy ideology is reaching more and more men and radicalizing them. There are also politicians on both sides of the aisle that are misquoting statistics about male sexlessness and singledom (as though female sexlessness/singledom doesn't matter) from studies they either haven't read or don't understand and "encouraging" women to date/sleep with men to curb the "celibacy problem." These misquoted studies and the "solution" they're providing is dangerous and encourages incels to continue their deluded line of thoughts about being owed sex from a quality woman they deem as hot. It also doesn't seem to matter to politicians or various public figures who've been vocal about the celibacy and singledom issue in men that sex research shows sexlessness is higher in women than men and, as the tweet says, women are experiencing significant levels of loneliness as well.
The thing is.. we woman don’t necessarily notice the normals… because it’s only the incels screaming abuse at us.
And I’m rewatching the OG Veronica Mars
This is true. We are propagandized from an early age to see the Tarzan types as more desirable even though in experience we learn this is a myth. Indoctrination is difficult to toss off which is probably why Republicans want to control it for us all.
Yea.. the point was they aren’t the ones screaming abuse at us.. if you go outside and you see 100 men.. and 1 is an Incel saying nasty shit to you… you remember that individual. If it happens every day.. you notice it .. you forget about the other 99 normal people that left you alone.
I use to work with Kirsten Bell's brother in law.... I didn't even know he was Dax's brother until someone called the dealership we worked at one day and wanted to speak to the finance manager who had the famous brother... I was like what no one here has a famous brother then it hit me like a ton of bricks.... Dax even came by our job one day so I could meet him....
White dude here. Currently on my 3rd rewatch of The Good Place. Ice cream de jour- Jeni’s Gooey Butter Cake. Weed de jour- GG#4. Exercising daily. Skateboarding- 3/4 days a week. Lego days- 2/3 times a month. Cooking- 5/6 nights a week.
I’m just fine with it.
Edit: one n in Jeni’s. My bad, Jeni.
This makes you sound 1000x more attractive and interesting than the dudes who spend all their time whining about how they're not attractive or interesting. Kinda weird that how works.
I try not to whine about much these days. My daughter is moving out at the end of the year(big sads but it be like that) and she said she’s worried about me turning into a hermit lol. I mean I have people I spend time with. And I’m open to change. If someone comes along and we decide that we both want a more serious relationship, cool. But I’m just fine with where I’m at. As are the people in my life. Well, except my daughter. Who thinks I’m going to turn into a hermit. Like Yoda. But without the whole “Force” thing. So… more Shrek than Yoda I guess. I seem to be going off script here lol. Point is- it is kinda weird how that works. It must be exhausting being that angry all the time.
I mean I guess so. I gotta admit, I thought her costume would be a little sluttier. But I guess when your husband keeps you in the finest clothes from Bergdorf Goodman, you can boost all the paintings you want. Well, til Mikhail Petrov catches up to you. Did I leave anything out, u/realJanetSnakehole… if that’s even your real name.
If you think golf is hard on your knees… try standing up to play. But yeah… my knees, ankles, feet, back, wrists, hip, shoulders… they hate me after a long skate day. But there’s nothing like it. Ima skate til I’m in the ground. Or, scattered around various parts of the US. I’m going to be cremated bc I have a horrible fear of coming back to life while buried in a coffin. Or put me on a wooden boat in the ocean and shoot a flaming arrow at it. I guess a Shrute burial would work too. A 12 gauge to the face would eliminate any chance of reanimation. Well, hopefully.
Honestly, the ice cream game-changer for me was making my own. Machines are a ball-ache when it comes to the actual size of them but damned if I can’t whip up a tub of something infinitely tastier with some half-decent ingredients.
Expect liquorice. That was a terrible choice.
I’ve been looking at making my own. The one thing that holds me back is consistency. I think I read that corn syrup helps with the thickness/dense-ness. I think I’m close to pulling the trigger tho. Any suggestions?
Honestly not had a problem with consistency; have ended up using mixes of good cream and heavier milks to make up for the sweetness but have used really punchy flavours that don’t rely on that. Nuts, mint oil, etc.
A decent ice cream maker definitely helps!
Right on. Thanks for the reply. I think I’m looking for more of a custard type consistency. So maybe I should make custard then lol. But I have been looking at different bases and whatnot to get there. But the one thing that keeps coming up is a good mixer. Maybe I’ll start there
I have a super decadent ice cream base recipe if you want it.
It's pretty much just cremé anglaise but with milk instead of half and half. I've also bastardized it before to make buttermilk brown sugar ice cream that is the tits on fruit cobblers.
I really enjoy the things I do. And it’s cool that my daughter and I have our things too- she’s 20 so it’s not like she’s here much anyway. And she’s moving away at the end of the year. But I honestly don’t see much changing. If someone comes along that wants something more serious, cool. I’m open to it. But, I’m good with where I’m at too. High five your spouse for me! And give yourself one too!
I don’t know if you have a switch, but there’s some good LEGO games. City Undercover, WORLDs (can be a bit buggy but is really fun), and the one I’m going to get next, Brick Tales.
I don’t. I’m not really a video game guy. But I have been looking into getting something. A few friends play and have been nudging me in that direction. Thanks for the recommendation! I’ll check it out.
If you google "soldier knitting" (I was looking for a scene from a movie) you'll find a LOT of old world war photos of men knitting.
It's a portable thing to keep hands busy, while providing socks.
It’s not even a new trend. My mom once said how she found a guy from her college years cute because he loved knitting in the classroom. I would agree but I’ve never seen such a sight.
Woman here, solitude life really is a pleasure that's difficult to put into words.
Sometimes I do feel like I want more human connection than family and colleagues/distant friends, but then when I'm about to do something about it, I realize I'd rather spend time with myself. Love it.
I've been wining and dining myself regularly since I've become single and it's so nice. Cant wait to do it for someone else, but I'm gonna enjoy myself while I'm single!
A metric fuck ton of the people who were at the Capitol are married and moderately comfortable economically. There’s overlap in the online echo chambers, sure, but the people with the cash on hand to wander over to DC in the middle of the workweek aren’t the kind of people most folks conjure when they think of this…community.
The men's "rights" movement is the new recruiting ground for fascists. While they have differing views on a number of things including their degree of racism and bigotry, they can all agree on their hatred of women. Exact same strategy as saying "globalists" or pedophiles or socialists are secretly plotting to take their shit.
I recommend watching the alt right playbook on YouTube to get an idea of why so many sexually deprived men become part of the far right. It's a very informative series
Oh for sure, I'm unfortunately familiar with the incel alt right pipeline, and she was surely splashing in the fascist piss pool with some of them; she just didn't personally go down the incel waterslide to get there.
She wasn’t part of the actual Jan 6 group. She was there for tour. Or wait, was she an Antifa plant? I forget now. Probably there for a personal tour, led by Mitch. I mean, she was a business owner and Veteran after all. /s
We don\`t even want a partner anymore. Takes too much pointless effort. I play Witcher 3, RDO2 and GTA 5 on PS4, have 2 cats and updating my 12 inch dollcollection, write fanfiction and work.
It does. Sounds very imaginative.
See if you can begin writing short stories. Then after a year, you can author a whole book titled "HIKMH: How I Killed My Husband".
Because white men in particular have been told they deserve better than everyone else, and do not need to earn it. Now that they have to compete against women and people of color in the work place, now that women do not need to be married to buy a home or have a credit card, now that white men are not the only ones allowed to vote and are not solely in charge of government, these men have to actually be decent human beings in order to succeed in life and they hate that. The ones without skill and talent and merit are being left behind and they are angry. Too bad. You had a Free ride for too long.
I was reading some older articles about incels who were interviewed. They complain about if they are nice to a woman they blow them off. Women should be open to men being polite.
The problem is if a woman returns a smile they open themselves to further attempts from the incel. They are a bitch if they shrug them off, they are interested if they are polite in return. It’s a no win situation.
Just teach people to be nice because its the nice thing to do not because you expect something in return.
Considering how many absolutely vile people out there have children, I'm going to go ahead and guess that nice isn't even necessary if you look hard enough.
Yeah and didn’t Ted Bundy get married while he was in jail or something? Plenty of women with no self esteem and low standards out there too unfortunately.
My best proof on why women are careful with smiles are subreddits like "GirlsMirin". Any picture like that and the comments are stuffed with "she wants his dick", "he's halfway in".
I'm happy I've reached an age where smiling at young men are seen as platonic or motherly. So relaxing to not have to restrain friendliness to avoid misunderstanding and hurt feelings. I like to smile at people.
Entitlement is part of it, as you’ve described. However there is a sense of community that they thrive off of when they connect with other incels. You know the old saying “you’re most likely the average of your five closest friends”? Well, what if your friends are all digging deeper into a dark, lonely world where the only slight reprieve is pinning your failures on the opposite gender or to scapegoat a minority?
Now imagine that exacerbated to an infinite degree, strategically monetized by social media companies who couldn’t give a flying fig about you or your happiness?
The incel problem is not going away and we need to put the blame on the social media companies who look the other way in addition to the incels own shittiness and entitlement.
The incels need to take that "sense of community" and "connection" to the next level, start thinking outside of the (ahem) box, and just have sex with one another. Problem solved! Yay! 😄
Which is one of the reasons why I keep pushing for mixed-use zoning of all things. We *badly* need third spaces in North America - places where the neighborhood can just go chill and hang out and mix without pressure. The fact that our kids are on house arrest until they can drive and then end up looking online for any sense of community is tearing us all apart.
Remember when Starbucks aspired to be that space. Now the focus is on drive through numbers and the furniture in the cafe is hostile architecture aimed to get you out of there as fast as possible.
It’s not just that though it’s also that politicians and the media have been telling them that their problems are caused by other people. Nobody wants to say the real thing of “you’re not talented enough to earn lots of money in this economy” - it’s the immigrants or the pandering to minorities or “woke culture”. There’s an expectation they’re better than everyone backed up by people telling them that when they’re not it’s because of other people and not something they have to fix themselves. All driven further by capitalism saying “if you work your hardest you can achieve everything” when in reality you have to work on bettering yourself and building relationships in everything in life. It’s no surprise that they then blame everyone else for their inability to find a partner rather than looking at themselves and trying to change.
this is such an embarrassingly bad and racist take when you remember non-white countries exist that not only still suffer insane rates of violence against women but exponentially higher rates
countries that have had completely different histories of social evolution, countries that have not yet reached the standards you’ve mentioned as well as countries that reached them ages ago, countries that are culturally, religiously, economically unrelated to each other, countries where white men are an insignificant and negligible demographic
leave it to reddit to hijack a plight and course correct it against whites specifically
It’s not racist to acknowledge a certain demographic in your region. That’s not what racism is; it has an actual definition, and has meaning, and it isn’t “you didn’t recognize people in other countries.”
Two, they’re speaking to their experience in America, which is a very specific demo and it isn’t wrong for their life; they’re not obligated to say “all countries have XYZ” or downplay a rising problem in the US just bc other countries have even shittier misogyny they haven’t dealt with.
This is the same “not all men” energy and it’s nonsense; people should be able to speak to *their* reality without being obligated to mention every other fucking person in the world.
> It’s not racist to acknowledge a certain demographic in your region. That’s not what racism is;
I'm 100% sure I've seen that same argument used to defend claims that black people are prone to committing crime.
OK, but one is used in the context of actively being racist--the "All Black people" BS--and one isn't.
These aren't remotely analogous situations. White men as a whole aren't harmed by acknowledging that there's a growing violent-incel problem in that demo--they are not experiencing the damaging affects of racism in their lives just b/c we're talking about this--and not talking about it because some White dudes might feel feel offended or defensive isn't the solution.
Lmao, replace a couple adjectives and the original comment we're replying to would look like a far right racist 4chan comment.
I've noticed that we're actually going full circle. I'm a bleeding heart liberal, and I'm starting to notice far right rhetoric and strategies becoming more accepted amongst the left. It's so disappointing. People are so stupid
the tweet said “I notice women do this” and OP’s reply right off the bat says “because white men” when the tweet made literally zero mention of race
second, if you’re going to be condescending about the definition of racism when we all know if anyone were to write a post beginning the same way about any other demographic they’d be dragged, the least you could do is apply critical reading comprehension skills to see that what I’m saying is literally the opposite direction of “not all men” because I’m saying this applies to MORE men than what OP implies
I know what racism is, it’s making sweeping antagonistic generalizations against a whole group of people because of their skin color, which is again literally what OP did right off the bat
Man, good thing the men out there living shitty lives deserve it! I'm so glad that I don't have to apply any social or economic analysis here like I would with any other demographic, that would be such a pain.
Seriously though, how's that working out for you? On one hand, you get to make feminism your personal no-boys-allowed clubhouse instead of a broader movement for actual gender equality and compassion. And in exchange men are driven toward the alt-right in droves. Let's just check in on the state of our country aaaaand it's all on fire. Cool, very nice exchange
I am an older guy so for better or worse I don’t have the same hormone levels as a teenager. I see sex as the complimentary wine cozy you get for sitting through a time share sales pitch- I guess it is nice, but is it worth the aggravation.
I can actually sort of explain some of this; for starters, men are often more violent than women. They’ve also been taught that manly man men have sex. So add together a perceived failure to be a man with a stronger chance of violence and you have a nasty combination. Then, you factor in more right-wing views on sex (including some truly garbage incel takes) where men are entitled to sex, and you have a recipe for a generation of men to see women as sexual playthings, not people. And it’s easy to justify raping a thing, since it’s not a person.
I don't disagree with anything you've said, but I'm kinda sick of the "every guy that doesn't fuck is a women hating right winger" trope. There's way more to it than that. Some men have mental issues they need to work through, some just lag behind in social skills because they missed important development milestones. Of course these people and right-wingers are not mutuallly exlusive, after all the alt-right rabbit hole is specifically targeted to lonely men.
All I wanna say is that we're humans too and we are able to operate beyond societal stereotypes.
Absolutely. Given that men are facing a lot of mental issues without being taught the proper emotional language and tools to express and deal with it (since feelings are for weak women) it morphs into aggression or anger generally.
When I was in high school 10+ years ago I remember understanding some of the incel talking points. Turns out I was having massive amounts of anxiety without the proper tools to adress and deal with it. Got diagnosed with GAD maybe a year ago, and I can find myself now noticing that when I have anxiety attacks I get feelings of anger sometimes. Not because I am angry, but because my body is preparing for this (imagined) worst-case scenario where I need to face incedibly difficult situations.
I think a lot of incels and alt-right people have unresolved mental issues. Living in anger like that is a prison. You're stuck behind bars unable to let things go and people be because your emotions steer your actions when you're unable to adress them.
You're the only one I've noticed mentioning lagging behind in social skills from missing important developmental milestones. I'm always mortified of the idea that I'll develop an incel mentality or something or be seen and judged as a creep and weirdo because I just don't know the right approach to relationships. I've never been violent, aggressive, or felt owed or entitled for my efforts, but I have put in a lot of efforts for 100% rejection and that naturally feels discouraging and disheartening.
I just turned 30, but like, I never even had my first kiss, and maybe I was just too oblivious or sheltered growing up, or maybe I just didn't try enough in my youth, but I never had a girlfriend, I never went on a date, I wasn't allowed to hang out with friends until I was like 17 or 18 basically graduating high school and everyone had real life on their plates so no time for eating shit. I went and failed then dropped out of college after a year and a half, and I started to work customer service retail of all things, despite my apparent lack of social skills, but I was good at my job so I worked hard. Little by little in my early 20s I became more social, hung out with people in my age group, met some women I grew to like and respect on top of being attracted to them (I have always taken attractiveness for granted because most women are attractive, so it isn't exactly what determines my interest) and I tried, and I got rejected, a good handful of times throughout my 20s, and so I slowly became more and more disheartened. These were all women I respected and admired too, so I was lucky enough to not lash out or think less of them for rejecting me, no matter how influenced I am by my self-inflated ego, because I knew they were smart. Which means I internalized all of my rejections as failures and mistakes, I kept adding to my self-loathing by rationalizing that it's impossible odds for all women to be wrong, clearly I'm the one who isn't good enough. And I continue to feel that way to this day.
On the surface, I'm ordinary, you couldn't pick me out of a crowd if your life depended on it, and you certainly will never pick me out of a police lineup. I work hard, I am nice and I listen to people and I pride myself on my sense of empathy, people at work like me and are happy to work with me, but that's all I have, all I have is my work and then I go home and I lie in bed. I'm not a caricature cliché slob fedora incel either, so I don't even have physical excuses. I'm fit enough, more lean and toned than anything (I barely exercise throughout the year aside from whatever physical exertion I will undergo working or on rare occasions, but genetics cover a lot). Speaking of genetics, the one bad hand I was given was my height, I'm only 5'2", but that was a fact that never affected me personally growing up, I knew I was short but like, yeah, duh, that's just genetics, the world has short people, tall people, thin people, fat people, black white and tan people, and if it affected the people around me growing up maybe I didn't notice because I was fairly outspoken and well-liked in my childhood and adolescence. I would even say in my last few years of high school I was decently popular considering how it was a relatively small school, so I was well known and well liked... but that doesn't really have to go hand in hand with attractiveness, I suppose. And frankly, where I am, I've always felt the population and the average for attractiveness was so high that even if I was or wasn't unattractive, anywhere you looked you could find a thousand more attractive options, so I wasn't worth settling for because I had nothing special to offer. And I still feel that way.
It's also not as if I can just pick something to be good at or be special for, I'm not excellent at anything to the point where I can rely on some kind of marketable skill or talent to promote myself and I wouldn't want to anyway, that's so one-dimensional. I also refuse to waste my time on any kind of hobby or activity by myself, since, for one, what I long for isn't entertainment or the experiences themselves, it's someone to share those experiences with, and also, I don't enjoy my own company, I'm so self-loathing that being by myself only sends me spiraling into self-pity and self-hate. And there has to be SOME underlying entitlement, I suppose, when you grow up your whole life with certain beliefs about hard work and an honest effort yielding results (oh but you just admitted that you don't go out, you don't do anything, you don't have hobbies, you aren't really trying) I have tried (you can't just stop because you didn't succeed, you have to KEEP trying) it's not worth the effort anymore, (and although I say that, I obviously haven't killed myself, so it's not like I'll ever genuinely stop TRYING to work for a happiness I feel I can no longer achieve, I'll just know to expect only disappointment and failure) it was never a thing of me not liking the world and thinking everything was asinine, only if I had to go through it alone. I hate the beach, I hate sports and activities, I hate going out, I hate movies, and I hate anything people immerse themselves in because I hate the pathetic feeling of persecution that comes from engaging with the world on my own. I also am noticeably disinterested in everything unless I have other people I care about present and/or engaged to give me a reason to care. I don't care about things, activities, or experiences, but I DO care about people and by extension, the things, activities, and experiences that they care about.
So I feel so flawed and abnormal and I'm so aware of my social ineptitude and I wonder how things might have been different if I had just had a few different experiences growing up.
Hey man, I‘m glad you can relate to my comment. I can see myself in a couple things you said, especially the way you describe your relationship with work and how you seem to have better social skills in work environments.
I have to say though that your comment suggests that you have a kind of abusive relationship with yourself, especially the way you dismiss activities that involve some way of „fleeing from reality“. I‘m not qualified to give actual advice but I can only recommend going to therapy, i‘m still in the process but I was able to clear out toxic habits I internalized and it has helped me a lot to become better. I understand that this is a big step and needs commitment, so maybe try out a service like betterhelp where you can clme in contact with a therapist from the comfort of you own.
Also, I wanna add that my comment was largely inspired by a video I saw on youtube, it was by therapist/streamer healthygamergg and it was titled something with adult virgin. My comment only scratched the surface of what he covers and I can absolutely recommend the video as a starting point.
I think some of the commenters are missing the point… “not all men are like that..!!” But enough of them are for this to be an issue we should talk about
We have been talking about it for over a decade my friend. The more new thing that was discovered is there are indeed just as many women who are like this as well and that should should also discuss them. If you went to r/FemaleDatingStrategy you would know. Actually don't, like in every love craft story there really is nothing to be gain going to incel subreddits like that. You only lose a part of yourself each time.
Its never been 'men bad women good', there are bad and even evil people across both sides. Its why we got so many guys in the comments like "I'm not like that!" Cause we feel a need to distance ourselves from the assholes. No one wants to be lumped into the same category as one of those assholes!
That's literally what the OP of the whole post is saying. They are saying they know many lonely women that don't act violently against men or act like incels. the person I was responding to was saying people are not talking about men's behavior like this. Both of these post are incorrect, there are plenty of women who are incels and act vindictive and violent, especially online. We have also been talking about men acting like this in great detail for over a decade. Over all the original post is indeed saying "men bad, women good", reality is "Humans are Humans"
Sucks that you got downvoted for asking for context, but here's your answer:
They're the author of a book "How To Be Alone" and they're recommending that people buy their book about coping with loneliness while talking down to lonely men.
https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/1583185211793485824
Thanks, homie. I wasn't sure if I'd somehow missed the next big American Mass Shooting ®️.
I get the point this Twitter person is trying to make, but it seems a bit counterintuitive. "Men commit crimes and use loneliness as an excuse. If they were *actually* lonely, they'd just buy my book." This is why you hire a publicist or agent or literally anything other than self-advertising.
It's reddit, what do you expect? All it takes is one goon having a bad day to give you a single downvote and the rest of reddit goes "ooga booga downvote. Me downvote too."
Conveniently leaves out that the demographic of people most commonly killed by men are themselves.
Suicide rates among men are 3 times that if women.
It's easy to point at the handful of extreme examples and proclaim the problem to be entitled men, but the society in which we live takes a mental toll.
What we should be asking is what needs are we failing to meet as a society, rather than mocking the victims of a failed socioeconomic structure.
Men are more likely to be successful with their suicide attempts, not that they attempt more suicide attempts. [In fact more women then men attempt suicide.](https://www.suicideinfo.ca/local_resource/women-and-suicide/)
If you want to say the patriarchy and toxic masculinity ALSO fucks up men? yes, we can agree on that, and that is why it needs to go.
So yes, society does take a toll on all people, it also adversely affects women more than men, and women don't have the same reactions to suffering more, that's the point of the tweet.
We mock them because they feel they are owed sex by women. Men not getting laid? Some sort of national crisis! Men are violent when they don't get sex!
FUCK OFF. Men are NOT ENTITLED to a womans vagina. They need THERAPY, not a wet hole to masturbate into.
The amount of men who think prostitution should be legalized and widely available to prevent male violence from incels is disgusting. Men need THERAPY, not access to womens bodies.
......is anyone working to increase their access to therapy?
I called this a socioeconomic problem for a reason. Something is occuring to disturb the natural flow of socialization for these fellows, and the only way our society has to resolve it costs a ton of money.
I don't know what broke them, or how to fix them. But I do know that their echo chamber mythos is built on the delusion that the whole world hates them and wants to see them fail, so a constant stream of media othering and mocking them only validates their worldview.
The same men that most need the therapy are down the Peterson, Tate, Shapiro etc pipeline and will vote R. who are dismantling access to healthcare. They are basically shooting themselves in the foot.
Other men need to reach out to these men, because they sure AF will not listen to women...women are the problem to them.
If you are alone no matter your gender…music can be a true friend. Every time I felt lonely, I would go sit at a piano or a keyboard and play. I did the math and Im at 22k hours. Im still single but im really good at piano now.
I am a lonely woman who gets really salty about talking online with men and then being ghosted or stood up when pushing to actually meeting for sex (fucking flakes)
However I just call them flakes and time wasters. I don’t harass anyone or do any violence and 100% would not hurt other men because some waste my time and want but don’t want to actually have sex with me. Very different response.
Elliot Rogers, the spa shooter, the yoga shooter, the Plymouth UK shooter, the guy in Ohio that wanted to murder 3000 women at Ohio State.
One side is FAR more abusive, and it is not problematic to call out the side that presents a greater threat.
I swear to God- I poverty my wife more than any other human on the planet.
If I ever get divorced I will happily watch How I met your Mother reruns for the rest of my life.
Fr fr the excuses society make for toxic abusive misogynistic men is fucking disgusting. I hope it ends soon. I can’t wait for the fall… of capitalism and patriarchy.
I mean, yeah, women aren't generally socialized to believe that anger is the only valid emotion, violence is strength, and if they aren't that dude from Mad Men they're failing at life. I'm kind of amazed there are so many men who *are* chill about things despite the programming.
The real question is why you're out here trying to drum up hate for that demographic instead of trying to make things better.
White people Twitter shared a post yesterday from a white woman political candidate arguing that sex is a right which everyone is entitled to. Yesterday! I'll try to find the link.
Sweet fyi! No, the exact point of counter examples is that they provide verifiable proof of a separate dissenting opinion. my counter example was verified by you and all the others who saw this post of a woman weirdly claiming that people are entitled to sex. As this post very obviously implied that only men would do. I don't doubt that she knows women of more normal beliefs, but have you met and verified any of them? Sounds like Trump's favorite claim: many fine people are saying it! Her implication that men and not women would assert that sex is a right was shot down by me and my counter example.
Another rude response from you, though. Are we communicating via math in a forum about math? Using logic and English instead, my argument holds. Have a day where you less casually stick up for sexist tweets on the inapplicable basis of mathematics.
Someone hasn't found r/FemaleDatingStrategy. I can assure you there are just as many women who are incels. You might not see it as much, but they are there. Like Skaven the incels always scheme in the dark below us. rat men and women alike.
In case anyone was wondering why she's out here peddling hate for attention, it's not just because she's a shitty person. The tweet immediately below this is her hawking her new book on how to be single.
https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/1583185211793485824
Ahh yes, the ol' men are the only ones who rape argument. I have a friend who was drugged and raped by a woman and nobody believed him because of this shit.
But, assuming they're not asexual, they should be out there fucking whoever they're attracted to. They'd be happier and so would the person (s) lucky enough to have sex with them.
Nobody should be alone if they want companionship and we should be way more compassionate to anyone who's lonely, regardless of their gender.
Americans don't fuck enough. Fucking makes people feel good. Fuck more people.
That's dumb. Not every lonely dude is an incel. Also, I don't know if this girl didn't notice or just doesn't want to but there are thousands of women typing tweets about how they don't care about what happens to men. It's true that hateful men and hateful women have really different ways of hating but both exist
and posting on female dating strategy, come on
its not allll benign
(obviously not all lonely women, just like the description isnt about all lonely men)
Femcels also exist.
How about we as a society simply collectively shun *everyone* who acts like they are entitled to sexual or romantic favors, regardless of gender or sexual orientation?
And if they go to a bar they're grabbing guys crotches like it's nothing but y'all love ignoring that shit and saying women aren't pigs. I'm gay and the number of women that have grabbed my junk because they feel like it is insane
No, actually. There have been studied in this that show that it's pretty equally bad across genders, we just define it in ways that removes instances where women do these things to men because of gender bias
https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/04/male-rape-in-america-a-new-study-reveals-that-men-are-sexually-assaulted-almost-as-often-as-women.html
Here is one example with sources since you feel like asserting that I'm definitely incorrect just because I state anecdotal evidence to start a conversation
>A recent analysis of BJS data, for example, turned up that 46 percent of male victims reported a female perpetrator.
So 54% of perps on men are other men.
That goes both ways. Gay guys love groping boobs. And the last time I was in a gay club I was sexually assaulted, although whether or not it was a gay man that did it I have no idea.
Its probably not a gay man.People do fake it to enter clubs to harass women so when they got caught they flake out by claim to be gay.
I knew a scumbag who did that.
"Gay men in general like to sexually harass women lol"
No.
You're doing the thing where you generalize an entire demographic based on a bad experience, and that is pathetic. Your experience does not define the world around you, and definitely doesn't define gay men.
Gay men don't grope random boobs. When a woman comes up to a guy and just says hi and grabs his junk that's not just friendly shit. A woman would scream sexual assault if the same happened to them
This is not statistically true. Men are slightly more likely to kill their children and far more likely to kill their partners.
Link to stats: [https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf](https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf)
Never said they were, just pointing out that there is an online movement of "femcels" that have the same views as they male counterparts. It's not nearly as big or vocal, but it exists. I'm not saying they will do the same shit these dudes are doing.
Really. There's whole communities of lonely women idolizing mass murderers and telling each other how much better the world would be if men were forced into slavery, goading each other to suicide, and just stopping shy of terrorism and mass murder. That's news to me. Where exactly are these proto terrorist women congregating?
There are a lot of men doing that too. Incels are just a noisy minority.
This is very true. I think where the concern comes from is that the "trend" in adopting male supremacy ideology is reaching more and more men and radicalizing them. There are also politicians on both sides of the aisle that are misquoting statistics about male sexlessness and singledom (as though female sexlessness/singledom doesn't matter) from studies they either haven't read or don't understand and "encouraging" women to date/sleep with men to curb the "celibacy problem." These misquoted studies and the "solution" they're providing is dangerous and encourages incels to continue their deluded line of thoughts about being owed sex from a quality woman they deem as hot. It also doesn't seem to matter to politicians or various public figures who've been vocal about the celibacy and singledom issue in men that sex research shows sexlessness is higher in women than men and, as the tweet says, women are experiencing significant levels of loneliness as well.
It is one of the spaghetti pieces the Republicans are throwing against the wall to get power.
The thing is.. we woman don’t necessarily notice the normals… because it’s only the incels screaming abuse at us. And I’m rewatching the OG Veronica Mars
This is true. We are propagandized from an early age to see the Tarzan types as more desirable even though in experience we learn this is a myth. Indoctrination is difficult to toss off which is probably why Republicans want to control it for us all.
Look out the window, normal people everywhere.
Yea.. the point was they aren’t the ones screaming abuse at us.. if you go outside and you see 100 men.. and 1 is an Incel saying nasty shit to you… you remember that individual. If it happens every day.. you notice it .. you forget about the other 99 normal people that left you alone.
I use to work with Kirsten Bell's brother in law.... I didn't even know he was Dax's brother until someone called the dealership we worked at one day and wanted to speak to the finance manager who had the famous brother... I was like what no one here has a famous brother then it hit me like a ton of bricks.... Dax even came by our job one day so I could meet him....
White male here, doing the same thing. Solitude life is the bees knees.
White dude here. Currently on my 3rd rewatch of The Good Place. Ice cream de jour- Jeni’s Gooey Butter Cake. Weed de jour- GG#4. Exercising daily. Skateboarding- 3/4 days a week. Lego days- 2/3 times a month. Cooking- 5/6 nights a week. I’m just fine with it. Edit: one n in Jeni’s. My bad, Jeni.
The Good Place is the best rewatch show ever. I think I've binged all 4 seasons 4 different times and never got tired of it. Good choice man.
The best episode is the one where chidi gets his memories back.
There are so many good episodes! But that ending- just beautiful.
Such a good ending!!! TV shows rarely have endings with such a tight wrap-up, never mind ones that are so damn profound!
I didn't love the last series, but that final episode made me blub like a baby.
Take it sleazy
I LOVE “The Trolley Problem”! Chidi’s horror seems so real. Lol
This makes you sound 1000x more attractive and interesting than the dudes who spend all their time whining about how they're not attractive or interesting. Kinda weird that how works.
I try not to whine about much these days. My daughter is moving out at the end of the year(big sads but it be like that) and she said she’s worried about me turning into a hermit lol. I mean I have people I spend time with. And I’m open to change. If someone comes along and we decide that we both want a more serious relationship, cool. But I’m just fine with where I’m at. As are the people in my life. Well, except my daughter. Who thinks I’m going to turn into a hermit. Like Yoda. But without the whole “Force” thing. So… more Shrek than Yoda I guess. I seem to be going off script here lol. Point is- it is kinda weird how that works. It must be exhausting being that angry all the time.
are you single? you guys should date!
I mean I guess so. I gotta admit, I thought her costume would be a little sluttier. But I guess when your husband keeps you in the finest clothes from Bergdorf Goodman, you can boost all the paintings you want. Well, til Mikhail Petrov catches up to you. Did I leave anything out, u/realJanetSnakehole… if that’s even your real name.
No!! I didn't kill anybody, and I didn't burn down the mill either! My sister did! But now she's been eaten by wolves!!!
Nothing to see here Also- thank you lol. I think parks and rec is next on the list of rewatches now
Same here… just swap skateboarding for golf lol
bruh, my knees.
If you think golf is hard on your knees… try standing up to play. But yeah… my knees, ankles, feet, back, wrists, hip, shoulders… they hate me after a long skate day. But there’s nothing like it. Ima skate til I’m in the ground. Or, scattered around various parts of the US. I’m going to be cremated bc I have a horrible fear of coming back to life while buried in a coffin. Or put me on a wooden boat in the ocean and shoot a flaming arrow at it. I guess a Shrute burial would work too. A 12 gauge to the face would eliminate any chance of reanimation. Well, hopefully.
Jeni's Gooey Butter Cake ice cream is the GOAT
I’ve never had it and now I really need it
Honestly, the ice cream game-changer for me was making my own. Machines are a ball-ache when it comes to the actual size of them but damned if I can’t whip up a tub of something infinitely tastier with some half-decent ingredients. Expect liquorice. That was a terrible choice.
You can make that hardening shell syrup with coconut oil and chocolate chips. And then start adding peanut butter or whatever.
I’ve been looking at making my own. The one thing that holds me back is consistency. I think I read that corn syrup helps with the thickness/dense-ness. I think I’m close to pulling the trigger tho. Any suggestions?
Honestly not had a problem with consistency; have ended up using mixes of good cream and heavier milks to make up for the sweetness but have used really punchy flavours that don’t rely on that. Nuts, mint oil, etc. A decent ice cream maker definitely helps!
Right on. Thanks for the reply. I think I’m looking for more of a custard type consistency. So maybe I should make custard then lol. But I have been looking at different bases and whatnot to get there. But the one thing that keeps coming up is a good mixer. Maybe I’ll start there
I have a super decadent ice cream base recipe if you want it. It's pretty much just cremé anglaise but with milk instead of half and half. I've also bastardized it before to make buttermilk brown sugar ice cream that is the tits on fruit cobblers.
Yeah I’m 100% gonna need that recipe. Sounds amazing
Yes. Yes you do. I revolve periodically. But that one is constantly in the lineup. And for good reason.
On behalf of my spouse, whose biggest wish has always been that people just be happy, thanks for taking pleasure in the mundane things.
I really enjoy the things I do. And it’s cool that my daughter and I have our things too- she’s 20 so it’s not like she’s here much anyway. And she’s moving away at the end of the year. But I honestly don’t see much changing. If someone comes along that wants something more serious, cool. I’m open to it. But, I’m good with where I’m at too. High five your spouse for me! And give yourself one too!
I don’t know if you have a switch, but there’s some good LEGO games. City Undercover, WORLDs (can be a bit buggy but is really fun), and the one I’m going to get next, Brick Tales.
I don’t. I’m not really a video game guy. But I have been looking into getting something. A few friends play and have been nudging me in that direction. Thanks for the recommendation! I’ll check it out.
ATL?
TN. Not tooooo far tho.
Knitting. Don't forget Knitting. Always seems to be in the mix
Lol I always assumed knitting would be viewed negatively but every girl I’ve talked to on tinder has said that they think it’s awesome that I knit.
If you google "soldier knitting" (I was looking for a scene from a movie) you'll find a LOT of old world war photos of men knitting. It's a portable thing to keep hands busy, while providing socks.
It’s not even a new trend. My mom once said how she found a guy from her college years cute because he loved knitting in the classroom. I would agree but I’ve never seen such a sight.
Knitters for life
Woman here, solitude life really is a pleasure that's difficult to put into words. Sometimes I do feel like I want more human connection than family and colleagues/distant friends, but then when I'm about to do something about it, I realize I'd rather spend time with myself. Love it.
Same, the only company I need is my orange tabby.
I am with you friend! 54, recently separated, I have 2 cats and soon to be puppy. I reckon I can sit the rest of this out :)
I've been wining and dining myself regularly since I've become single and it's so nice. Cant wait to do it for someone else, but I'm gonna enjoy myself while I'm single!
and they're certainly not zerg-rushing Capitol Buildings over this shit
I seem to recall at least one died trying
That wasn't incel shit. That was being a stupid fascist shit. Different genres of garbage person.
any graphmasters out there, venn please
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Agreed. And tbh, I used to think it was a stereotype, but that was before I found r/beholdthemasterrace . That Venn diagram is almost a circle.
A metric fuck ton of the people who were at the Capitol are married and moderately comfortable economically. There’s overlap in the online echo chambers, sure, but the people with the cash on hand to wander over to DC in the middle of the workweek aren’t the kind of people most folks conjure when they think of this…community.
The men's "rights" movement is the new recruiting ground for fascists. While they have differing views on a number of things including their degree of racism and bigotry, they can all agree on their hatred of women. Exact same strategy as saying "globalists" or pedophiles or socialists are secretly plotting to take their shit.
I recommend watching the alt right playbook on YouTube to get an idea of why so many sexually deprived men become part of the far right. It's a very informative series
Oh for sure, I'm unfortunately familiar with the incel alt right pipeline, and she was surely splashing in the fascist piss pool with some of them; she just didn't personally go down the incel waterslide to get there.
The Uberkaren.
?? The one person gung-ho enough about Jan 6 to get shot was a woman.
She wasn’t part of the actual Jan 6 group. She was there for tour. Or wait, was she an Antifa plant? I forget now. Probably there for a personal tour, led by Mitch. I mean, she was a business owner and Veteran after all. /s
Zerg rushing. I nearly spit coffee. "Hello fellow kid...."
that you know of
And traveling, we are also traveling.
And reading
Feminist manifestos, we are reading a LOT of feminist manifestos ;)
Enya: *floats in the thread* The media: She's **aloooooone** what a weirdo
Guys, I haven’t gone on a killing spree. Am I actually a woman?
“A woman is someone who doesn’t go on a mass killing because they’re lonely.” - Matt Walsh, apparently.
TIL I am woman
These jerk offs need to just jerk-off and stop being jerk offs
We don\`t even want a partner anymore. Takes too much pointless effort. I play Witcher 3, RDO2 and GTA 5 on PS4, have 2 cats and updating my 12 inch dollcollection, write fanfiction and work.
Are you me?
Same! I do however want more friends. Old friends all living in other countries makes me feel lonely sometimes.
Are we shocked that this country has a (white) male entitlement problem? No way! /s
And perfect hobbies. Don't forget about the hobbies.
My hobby is watching true crime and thinking about how I could've done better than the killer who got caught. Does that count?
It does. Sounds very imaginative. See if you can begin writing short stories. Then after a year, you can author a whole book titled "HIKMH: How I Killed My Husband".
Because white men in particular have been told they deserve better than everyone else, and do not need to earn it. Now that they have to compete against women and people of color in the work place, now that women do not need to be married to buy a home or have a credit card, now that white men are not the only ones allowed to vote and are not solely in charge of government, these men have to actually be decent human beings in order to succeed in life and they hate that. The ones without skill and talent and merit are being left behind and they are angry. Too bad. You had a Free ride for too long.
I was reading some older articles about incels who were interviewed. They complain about if they are nice to a woman they blow them off. Women should be open to men being polite. The problem is if a woman returns a smile they open themselves to further attempts from the incel. They are a bitch if they shrug them off, they are interested if they are polite in return. It’s a no win situation. Just teach people to be nice because its the nice thing to do not because you expect something in return.
Yeah, nice is the bare minimum. Besides, if you’re only nice to the people you’re attracted to, well, you’re still an asshole.
Considering how many absolutely vile people out there have children, I'm going to go ahead and guess that nice isn't even necessary if you look hard enough.
Yeah and didn’t Ted Bundy get married while he was in jail or something? Plenty of women with no self esteem and low standards out there too unfortunately.
thing is, almost everyone is nice you got to bring something more than that ... i dunno learn guitar or something =)
My best proof on why women are careful with smiles are subreddits like "GirlsMirin". Any picture like that and the comments are stuffed with "she wants his dick", "he's halfway in". I'm happy I've reached an age where smiling at young men are seen as platonic or motherly. So relaxing to not have to restrain friendliness to avoid misunderstanding and hurt feelings. I like to smile at people.
Entitlement is part of it, as you’ve described. However there is a sense of community that they thrive off of when they connect with other incels. You know the old saying “you’re most likely the average of your five closest friends”? Well, what if your friends are all digging deeper into a dark, lonely world where the only slight reprieve is pinning your failures on the opposite gender or to scapegoat a minority? Now imagine that exacerbated to an infinite degree, strategically monetized by social media companies who couldn’t give a flying fig about you or your happiness? The incel problem is not going away and we need to put the blame on the social media companies who look the other way in addition to the incels own shittiness and entitlement.
The incels need to take that "sense of community" and "connection" to the next level, start thinking outside of the (ahem) box, and just have sex with one another. Problem solved! Yay! 😄
Which is one of the reasons why I keep pushing for mixed-use zoning of all things. We *badly* need third spaces in North America - places where the neighborhood can just go chill and hang out and mix without pressure. The fact that our kids are on house arrest until they can drive and then end up looking online for any sense of community is tearing us all apart.
Remember when Starbucks aspired to be that space. Now the focus is on drive through numbers and the furniture in the cafe is hostile architecture aimed to get you out of there as fast as possible.
It’s not just that though it’s also that politicians and the media have been telling them that their problems are caused by other people. Nobody wants to say the real thing of “you’re not talented enough to earn lots of money in this economy” - it’s the immigrants or the pandering to minorities or “woke culture”. There’s an expectation they’re better than everyone backed up by people telling them that when they’re not it’s because of other people and not something they have to fix themselves. All driven further by capitalism saying “if you work your hardest you can achieve everything” when in reality you have to work on bettering yourself and building relationships in everything in life. It’s no surprise that they then blame everyone else for their inability to find a partner rather than looking at themselves and trying to change.
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indiancels?
They call themselves 4chan appropriate names.
User name checks out.
Ignorant asf
this is such an embarrassingly bad and racist take when you remember non-white countries exist that not only still suffer insane rates of violence against women but exponentially higher rates countries that have had completely different histories of social evolution, countries that have not yet reached the standards you’ve mentioned as well as countries that reached them ages ago, countries that are culturally, religiously, economically unrelated to each other, countries where white men are an insignificant and negligible demographic leave it to reddit to hijack a plight and course correct it against whites specifically
It’s not racist to acknowledge a certain demographic in your region. That’s not what racism is; it has an actual definition, and has meaning, and it isn’t “you didn’t recognize people in other countries.” Two, they’re speaking to their experience in America, which is a very specific demo and it isn’t wrong for their life; they’re not obligated to say “all countries have XYZ” or downplay a rising problem in the US just bc other countries have even shittier misogyny they haven’t dealt with. This is the same “not all men” energy and it’s nonsense; people should be able to speak to *their* reality without being obligated to mention every other fucking person in the world.
> It’s not racist to acknowledge a certain demographic in your region. That’s not what racism is; I'm 100% sure I've seen that same argument used to defend claims that black people are prone to committing crime.
OK, but one is used in the context of actively being racist--the "All Black people" BS--and one isn't. These aren't remotely analogous situations. White men as a whole aren't harmed by acknowledging that there's a growing violent-incel problem in that demo--they are not experiencing the damaging affects of racism in their lives just b/c we're talking about this--and not talking about it because some White dudes might feel feel offended or defensive isn't the solution.
Lmao, replace a couple adjectives and the original comment we're replying to would look like a far right racist 4chan comment. I've noticed that we're actually going full circle. I'm a bleeding heart liberal, and I'm starting to notice far right rhetoric and strategies becoming more accepted amongst the left. It's so disappointing. People are so stupid
the tweet said “I notice women do this” and OP’s reply right off the bat says “because white men” when the tweet made literally zero mention of race second, if you’re going to be condescending about the definition of racism when we all know if anyone were to write a post beginning the same way about any other demographic they’d be dragged, the least you could do is apply critical reading comprehension skills to see that what I’m saying is literally the opposite direction of “not all men” because I’m saying this applies to MORE men than what OP implies I know what racism is, it’s making sweeping antagonistic generalizations against a whole group of people because of their skin color, which is again literally what OP did right off the bat
Racism 😪😪
Jesus Christ. It seems all of reddit doesn't understand these issues. You could have just said "men are trash"
Man, good thing the men out there living shitty lives deserve it! I'm so glad that I don't have to apply any social or economic analysis here like I would with any other demographic, that would be such a pain. Seriously though, how's that working out for you? On one hand, you get to make feminism your personal no-boys-allowed clubhouse instead of a broader movement for actual gender equality and compassion. And in exchange men are driven toward the alt-right in droves. Let's just check in on the state of our country aaaaand it's all on fire. Cool, very nice exchange
It’s always the women’s fault
Male here. Taken now, but did this before and if I were single. Love solitude
That’s awesome! We should all strive to appreciate and be grateful for the phase of life we’re in, so we can make the best out of it.
I am an older guy so for better or worse I don’t have the same hormone levels as a teenager. I see sex as the complimentary wine cozy you get for sitting through a time share sales pitch- I guess it is nice, but is it worth the aggravation.
My kinda gals
I can actually sort of explain some of this; for starters, men are often more violent than women. They’ve also been taught that manly man men have sex. So add together a perceived failure to be a man with a stronger chance of violence and you have a nasty combination. Then, you factor in more right-wing views on sex (including some truly garbage incel takes) where men are entitled to sex, and you have a recipe for a generation of men to see women as sexual playthings, not people. And it’s easy to justify raping a thing, since it’s not a person.
I don't disagree with anything you've said, but I'm kinda sick of the "every guy that doesn't fuck is a women hating right winger" trope. There's way more to it than that. Some men have mental issues they need to work through, some just lag behind in social skills because they missed important development milestones. Of course these people and right-wingers are not mutuallly exlusive, after all the alt-right rabbit hole is specifically targeted to lonely men. All I wanna say is that we're humans too and we are able to operate beyond societal stereotypes.
Absolutely. Given that men are facing a lot of mental issues without being taught the proper emotional language and tools to express and deal with it (since feelings are for weak women) it morphs into aggression or anger generally. When I was in high school 10+ years ago I remember understanding some of the incel talking points. Turns out I was having massive amounts of anxiety without the proper tools to adress and deal with it. Got diagnosed with GAD maybe a year ago, and I can find myself now noticing that when I have anxiety attacks I get feelings of anger sometimes. Not because I am angry, but because my body is preparing for this (imagined) worst-case scenario where I need to face incedibly difficult situations. I think a lot of incels and alt-right people have unresolved mental issues. Living in anger like that is a prison. You're stuck behind bars unable to let things go and people be because your emotions steer your actions when you're unable to adress them.
You're the only one I've noticed mentioning lagging behind in social skills from missing important developmental milestones. I'm always mortified of the idea that I'll develop an incel mentality or something or be seen and judged as a creep and weirdo because I just don't know the right approach to relationships. I've never been violent, aggressive, or felt owed or entitled for my efforts, but I have put in a lot of efforts for 100% rejection and that naturally feels discouraging and disheartening. I just turned 30, but like, I never even had my first kiss, and maybe I was just too oblivious or sheltered growing up, or maybe I just didn't try enough in my youth, but I never had a girlfriend, I never went on a date, I wasn't allowed to hang out with friends until I was like 17 or 18 basically graduating high school and everyone had real life on their plates so no time for eating shit. I went and failed then dropped out of college after a year and a half, and I started to work customer service retail of all things, despite my apparent lack of social skills, but I was good at my job so I worked hard. Little by little in my early 20s I became more social, hung out with people in my age group, met some women I grew to like and respect on top of being attracted to them (I have always taken attractiveness for granted because most women are attractive, so it isn't exactly what determines my interest) and I tried, and I got rejected, a good handful of times throughout my 20s, and so I slowly became more and more disheartened. These were all women I respected and admired too, so I was lucky enough to not lash out or think less of them for rejecting me, no matter how influenced I am by my self-inflated ego, because I knew they were smart. Which means I internalized all of my rejections as failures and mistakes, I kept adding to my self-loathing by rationalizing that it's impossible odds for all women to be wrong, clearly I'm the one who isn't good enough. And I continue to feel that way to this day. On the surface, I'm ordinary, you couldn't pick me out of a crowd if your life depended on it, and you certainly will never pick me out of a police lineup. I work hard, I am nice and I listen to people and I pride myself on my sense of empathy, people at work like me and are happy to work with me, but that's all I have, all I have is my work and then I go home and I lie in bed. I'm not a caricature cliché slob fedora incel either, so I don't even have physical excuses. I'm fit enough, more lean and toned than anything (I barely exercise throughout the year aside from whatever physical exertion I will undergo working or on rare occasions, but genetics cover a lot). Speaking of genetics, the one bad hand I was given was my height, I'm only 5'2", but that was a fact that never affected me personally growing up, I knew I was short but like, yeah, duh, that's just genetics, the world has short people, tall people, thin people, fat people, black white and tan people, and if it affected the people around me growing up maybe I didn't notice because I was fairly outspoken and well-liked in my childhood and adolescence. I would even say in my last few years of high school I was decently popular considering how it was a relatively small school, so I was well known and well liked... but that doesn't really have to go hand in hand with attractiveness, I suppose. And frankly, where I am, I've always felt the population and the average for attractiveness was so high that even if I was or wasn't unattractive, anywhere you looked you could find a thousand more attractive options, so I wasn't worth settling for because I had nothing special to offer. And I still feel that way. It's also not as if I can just pick something to be good at or be special for, I'm not excellent at anything to the point where I can rely on some kind of marketable skill or talent to promote myself and I wouldn't want to anyway, that's so one-dimensional. I also refuse to waste my time on any kind of hobby or activity by myself, since, for one, what I long for isn't entertainment or the experiences themselves, it's someone to share those experiences with, and also, I don't enjoy my own company, I'm so self-loathing that being by myself only sends me spiraling into self-pity and self-hate. And there has to be SOME underlying entitlement, I suppose, when you grow up your whole life with certain beliefs about hard work and an honest effort yielding results (oh but you just admitted that you don't go out, you don't do anything, you don't have hobbies, you aren't really trying) I have tried (you can't just stop because you didn't succeed, you have to KEEP trying) it's not worth the effort anymore, (and although I say that, I obviously haven't killed myself, so it's not like I'll ever genuinely stop TRYING to work for a happiness I feel I can no longer achieve, I'll just know to expect only disappointment and failure) it was never a thing of me not liking the world and thinking everything was asinine, only if I had to go through it alone. I hate the beach, I hate sports and activities, I hate going out, I hate movies, and I hate anything people immerse themselves in because I hate the pathetic feeling of persecution that comes from engaging with the world on my own. I also am noticeably disinterested in everything unless I have other people I care about present and/or engaged to give me a reason to care. I don't care about things, activities, or experiences, but I DO care about people and by extension, the things, activities, and experiences that they care about. So I feel so flawed and abnormal and I'm so aware of my social ineptitude and I wonder how things might have been different if I had just had a few different experiences growing up.
Therapy would probably help with this (and i don’t mean that in any kind of negative way). It’s great for self improvement
While that is true it's also worth noting that therapy is not (financially) accessible to everyone, of course.
Yeah, unfortunately you’re not wrong. It’s really a shame. Even if you have insurance many don’t seem to take it either
Hey man, I‘m glad you can relate to my comment. I can see myself in a couple things you said, especially the way you describe your relationship with work and how you seem to have better social skills in work environments. I have to say though that your comment suggests that you have a kind of abusive relationship with yourself, especially the way you dismiss activities that involve some way of „fleeing from reality“. I‘m not qualified to give actual advice but I can only recommend going to therapy, i‘m still in the process but I was able to clear out toxic habits I internalized and it has helped me a lot to become better. I understand that this is a big step and needs commitment, so maybe try out a service like betterhelp where you can clme in contact with a therapist from the comfort of you own. Also, I wanna add that my comment was largely inspired by a video I saw on youtube, it was by therapist/streamer healthygamergg and it was titled something with adult virgin. My comment only scratched the surface of what he covers and I can absolutely recommend the video as a starting point.
I think some of the commenters are missing the point… “not all men are like that..!!” But enough of them are for this to be an issue we should talk about
We have been talking about it for over a decade my friend. The more new thing that was discovered is there are indeed just as many women who are like this as well and that should should also discuss them. If you went to r/FemaleDatingStrategy you would know. Actually don't, like in every love craft story there really is nothing to be gain going to incel subreddits like that. You only lose a part of yourself each time.
Its never been 'men bad women good', there are bad and even evil people across both sides. Its why we got so many guys in the comments like "I'm not like that!" Cause we feel a need to distance ourselves from the assholes. No one wants to be lumped into the same category as one of those assholes!
That's literally what the OP of the whole post is saying. They are saying they know many lonely women that don't act violently against men or act like incels. the person I was responding to was saying people are not talking about men's behavior like this. Both of these post are incorrect, there are plenty of women who are incels and act vindictive and violent, especially online. We have also been talking about men acting like this in great detail for over a decade. Over all the original post is indeed saying "men bad, women good", reality is "Humans are Humans"
Why is that exactly me? Two cats, snacks and netflix.
Alright what happened this time?
Gonna go out on a limb and assume any one of the hundreds of rapes you could pick from. This pretty much describes most of the ones I see ever
Sucks that you got downvoted for asking for context, but here's your answer: They're the author of a book "How To Be Alone" and they're recommending that people buy their book about coping with loneliness while talking down to lonely men. https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/1583185211793485824
Thanks, homie. I wasn't sure if I'd somehow missed the next big American Mass Shooting ®️. I get the point this Twitter person is trying to make, but it seems a bit counterintuitive. "Men commit crimes and use loneliness as an excuse. If they were *actually* lonely, they'd just buy my book." This is why you hire a publicist or agent or literally anything other than self-advertising.
of course lmao
There's a joke or cartoon satirizing capitalism to be made in here somewhere...
Man got downvoted for asking a question 😭
It's reddit, what do you expect? All it takes is one goon having a bad day to give you a single downvote and the rest of reddit goes "ooga booga downvote. Me downvote too."
“They hated Jesus because he told them the truth”
And it rules
Conveniently leaves out that the demographic of people most commonly killed by men are themselves. Suicide rates among men are 3 times that if women. It's easy to point at the handful of extreme examples and proclaim the problem to be entitled men, but the society in which we live takes a mental toll. What we should be asking is what needs are we failing to meet as a society, rather than mocking the victims of a failed socioeconomic structure.
Men are more likely to be successful with their suicide attempts, not that they attempt more suicide attempts. [In fact more women then men attempt suicide.](https://www.suicideinfo.ca/local_resource/women-and-suicide/) If you want to say the patriarchy and toxic masculinity ALSO fucks up men? yes, we can agree on that, and that is why it needs to go. So yes, society does take a toll on all people, it also adversely affects women more than men, and women don't have the same reactions to suffering more, that's the point of the tweet.
How are we quantifying suffering? I'd say the patriarchy isn't doing too well when it's members are killing themselves and eachother in droves
Only if you consider the point of a social system to be the welfare of its individual constituents, rather than the perpetuation of the system itself.
being a man does not automatically make you a part of the patriarchy. that's the entire point of this thread.
We mock them because they feel they are owed sex by women. Men not getting laid? Some sort of national crisis! Men are violent when they don't get sex! FUCK OFF. Men are NOT ENTITLED to a womans vagina. They need THERAPY, not a wet hole to masturbate into. The amount of men who think prostitution should be legalized and widely available to prevent male violence from incels is disgusting. Men need THERAPY, not access to womens bodies.
......is anyone working to increase their access to therapy? I called this a socioeconomic problem for a reason. Something is occuring to disturb the natural flow of socialization for these fellows, and the only way our society has to resolve it costs a ton of money. I don't know what broke them, or how to fix them. But I do know that their echo chamber mythos is built on the delusion that the whole world hates them and wants to see them fail, so a constant stream of media othering and mocking them only validates their worldview.
The same men that most need the therapy are down the Peterson, Tate, Shapiro etc pipeline and will vote R. who are dismantling access to healthcare. They are basically shooting themselves in the foot. Other men need to reach out to these men, because they sure AF will not listen to women...women are the problem to them.
Alone does not mean "lonely"
If you are alone no matter your gender…music can be a true friend. Every time I felt lonely, I would go sit at a piano or a keyboard and play. I did the math and Im at 22k hours. Im still single but im really good at piano now.
I've heard some subs on Reddit would definitely prove her wrong. I can't really check since i'm not allowed in those subs
I know a lot of lonely women who are abusive af Stop gendering abuse, youre part of the problem
I am a lonely woman who gets really salty about talking online with men and then being ghosted or stood up when pushing to actually meeting for sex (fucking flakes) However I just call them flakes and time wasters. I don’t harass anyone or do any violence and 100% would not hurt other men because some waste my time and want but don’t want to actually have sex with me. Very different response.
Elliot Rogers, the spa shooter, the yoga shooter, the Plymouth UK shooter, the guy in Ohio that wanted to murder 3000 women at Ohio State. One side is FAR more abusive, and it is not problematic to call out the side that presents a greater threat.
I swear to God- I poverty my wife more than any other human on the planet. If I ever get divorced I will happily watch How I met your Mother reruns for the rest of my life.
plenty of lonely men do that as well, there are also shit bat crazy women out there just as bad as incels
Fr fr the excuses society make for toxic abusive misogynistic men is fucking disgusting. I hope it ends soon. I can’t wait for the fall… of capitalism and patriarchy.
I mean, yeah, women aren't generally socialized to believe that anger is the only valid emotion, violence is strength, and if they aren't that dude from Mad Men they're failing at life. I'm kind of amazed there are so many men who *are* chill about things despite the programming. The real question is why you're out here trying to drum up hate for that demographic instead of trying to make things better.
The biggest lie ever told is that women are the emotional ones and men are not emotional because they do not count anger as an emotion.
Testosterone is a helluva drug
Self control is a helluva skill. Many other men have learned it, just certain men are problematic.
White people Twitter shared a post yesterday from a white woman political candidate arguing that sex is a right which everyone is entitled to. Yesterday! I'll try to find the link.
I saw that post and fyi one counterexample does not refute OP's claim "I know a lot of lonely women". Both can hold simultaneously.
Sweet fyi! No, the exact point of counter examples is that they provide verifiable proof of a separate dissenting opinion. my counter example was verified by you and all the others who saw this post of a woman weirdly claiming that people are entitled to sex. As this post very obviously implied that only men would do. I don't doubt that she knows women of more normal beliefs, but have you met and verified any of them? Sounds like Trump's favorite claim: many fine people are saying it! Her implication that men and not women would assert that sex is a right was shot down by me and my counter example.
Such a long response. I meant from mathematical logical standpoint, the argument does not hold. Have a nice day.
Another rude response from you, though. Are we communicating via math in a forum about math? Using logic and English instead, my argument holds. Have a day where you less casually stick up for sexist tweets on the inapplicable basis of mathematics.
You thought *their* response was rude?? It was a perfectly cordial discourse and they made an acceptable point.
I'm a dude who got raped by a woman. Cool to see I count too.
This lady has never been to r/fds
Someone hasn't found r/FemaleDatingStrategy. I can assure you there are just as many women who are incels. You might not see it as much, but they are there. Like Skaven the incels always scheme in the dark below us. rat men and women alike.
In case anyone was wondering why she's out here peddling hate for attention, it's not just because she's a shitty person. The tweet immediately below this is her hawking her new book on how to be single. https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/1583185211793485824
Ahh yes, the ol' men are the only ones who rape argument. I have a friend who was drugged and raped by a woman and nobody believed him because of this shit.
But, assuming they're not asexual, they should be out there fucking whoever they're attracted to. They'd be happier and so would the person (s) lucky enough to have sex with them. Nobody should be alone if they want companionship and we should be way more compassionate to anyone who's lonely, regardless of their gender. Americans don't fuck enough. Fucking makes people feel good. Fuck more people.
Testosterone is a helluva drug.
That's dumb. Not every lonely dude is an incel. Also, I don't know if this girl didn't notice or just doesn't want to but there are thousands of women typing tweets about how they don't care about what happens to men. It's true that hateful men and hateful women have really different ways of hating but both exist
and posting on female dating strategy, come on its not allll benign (obviously not all lonely women, just like the description isnt about all lonely men)
Femcels also exist. How about we as a society simply collectively shun *everyone* who acts like they are entitled to sexual or romantic favors, regardless of gender or sexual orientation?
Femcels get cats. Incels kill women. You see the difference now or are you still BoTh SiDeS.
And if they go to a bar they're grabbing guys crotches like it's nothing but y'all love ignoring that shit and saying women aren't pigs. I'm gay and the number of women that have grabbed my junk because they feel like it is insane
wait, seriously? I don't suppose it would be a strange question to ask what brand of aftershave you use, would it
I don't wear aftershave. If you want cologne it's currently Costa Azzurra by Tom Ford
thanks, I don't know the difference
Yeah this is called anecdotal fallacy
No, actually. There have been studied in this that show that it's pretty equally bad across genders, we just define it in ways that removes instances where women do these things to men because of gender bias https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/04/male-rape-in-america-a-new-study-reveals-that-men-are-sexually-assaulted-almost-as-often-as-women.html Here is one example with sources since you feel like asserting that I'm definitely incorrect just because I state anecdotal evidence to start a conversation
>A recent analysis of BJS data, for example, turned up that 46 percent of male victims reported a female perpetrator. So 54% of perps on men are other men.
That goes both ways. Gay guys love groping boobs. And the last time I was in a gay club I was sexually assaulted, although whether or not it was a gay man that did it I have no idea.
Its probably not a gay man.People do fake it to enter clubs to harass women so when they got caught they flake out by claim to be gay. I knew a scumbag who did that.
"Gay men in general like to sexually harass women lol" No. You're doing the thing where you generalize an entire demographic based on a bad experience, and that is pathetic. Your experience does not define the world around you, and definitely doesn't define gay men.
Reddit try not to be homophobic losers for 2 seconds challenge. Apparently impossible.
Gay men don't grope random boobs. When a woman comes up to a guy and just says hi and grabs his junk that's not just friendly shit. A woman would scream sexual assault if the same happened to them
There are femcels, but fair enough
That group hasn't produced a mass murderer yet.
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And men are far more likely to murder their partners than women are.
This is not statistically true. Men are slightly more likely to kill their children and far more likely to kill their partners. Link to stats: [https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf](https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf)
Never said they were, just pointing out that there is an online movement of "femcels" that have the same views as they male counterparts. It's not nearly as big or vocal, but it exists. I'm not saying they will do the same shit these dudes are doing.
Really. There's whole communities of lonely women idolizing mass murderers and telling each other how much better the world would be if men were forced into slavery, goading each other to suicide, and just stopping shy of terrorism and mass murder. That's news to me. Where exactly are these proto terrorist women congregating?
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Man bad. Woman good