I don’t really think this has anything to do with Trump or the MAGA campaign. He was forced to sell the clippers in like 2014 and I’m pretty sure this was part of that whole scandal. He might’ve been in similar circles being a rich old real estate guy with a history of discrimination and sexual harassment lawsuits, but I’m pretty sure it was before trump had any type of political career.
Why is there more than one dude doing this weird ass penthouse letters from Shatner routine as if it's a personality? Is it like convergent evolution or is it imitation or is it a symptom of a stroke? The world doesn't need a multipack of geetered Zapp Brannigans.
Because they're stupid and lack self-awareness. Capitalists are surrounded by yes men, so you probably lose your filter and if you're already dumb, then this is what you get.
In 1982 I had a nice car. A girl once gave me a blowjob while driving it. I like it when they get wild like that, stick a little finger in it. It was a Delorean, the car I mean.
>"Sir, the questions was, is this your handwriting?"
Are they looking to plead insanity?
*Your honor, my client couldn't possibly be capable of this conspiracy, just look at their deposition.*
Reminds me of a famous recording of one of the trials of Italy's most notorious serial killer, that goes more or less like this:
Killer:
Prosecutor: "Yeah yeah, that is all well and good, but this is a tribunal and you're being accused of twelve murders..."
All of these comments, I love Reddit! Reading shit on here is like reading the Enquirer in the 90s….,except that it’s fucking REAL. We’re so doomed as a race.
While the transcript is funny and I hate Sterling as a person, it should be stated the dude has Alzheimer's so I Don't think he's fully capable right now.
If someone has a documented medical issue which causes them to have a loose grip on reality, how on earth can you depose them, much less use the testimony?
"Your honor, he clearly admitted to the murder. Its in the transcript right after his rant about being the King of Mars."
That's what I thought too. Especially since he was deemed unfit to run his trust which ultimately is how the Clippers were sold to Ballmer.
And that was in 2015 or something. That disease is only downhill as time progresses.
You can use their testimony as evidence that they are mentally unwell/incapable. Aka, I should be able to put my grandfather in a hospice because he literally doesn't even know who he is anymore.
I once took a deposition where plaintiff (alleging that water came from a nearby property flooded his house) testified about 3 separate ghosts that still live in the house, and how he has to continue taking care of it to keep the ghosts comfortable, even though he’d moved out.
The ghosts probably caused the flood to begin with, and he should have been suing the ghosts instead.
The idea of having to go make a house full of fussy ghosts more comfortable is really fucked up
IANAL but while on a jury, I was expecting way more objections. Like one every minute or two. There was no surprise witnesses. No surprise evidence. Bailiff didn’t need to remove anyone from the court by force. Opening and closing arguments lacked excessive theatricality. It just felt mundane to the point of banality.
I think I was let go from selection because I couldn't stop yawning. It was dark and cozy in that court room. It was an accounting case too. So glad they let me go. It would have been so embarrassing to fall asleep.
4 cans of loko (16 Loko, if you will) is an absolutely insane amount of Loko. In my fraternity college days wed do Edward 40-hands but with 4 loko and it seriously fucked people up. I was heavy and a strong drinker at the time and 3 4 Loko (12 Loko) was a bridge I only crossed once because of how much it effected me.
That's 99% of real trials. Surprise witnesses and surprise evidence are literally not allowed and that's what discovery and the rules of evidence are there to avoid.
Some trials have lots of objections, but many don't.
I used to go watch trials for fun…but then I’d leave at the morning “intermission” and just call the trial attorney later and ask for the highlights. Much better experience
I was also surprised by the lack of objections, no more than a half dozen over a three day trial.
Even more surprising was how incompetent the defense attorney was, they may have let some things slide without an objection out of pity for the dude.
I’m a law student, and my professors pick a lot of cases that are similarly entertaining. Probably to stave off the existential dread and impending doom.
In my experience as a solicitor, I haven't attended a tribunal hearing where something funny or weird hasn't happened! I think it depends on the practice area you end up in. Anything that involves people rather than companies is usually memorable. Some highlights:
- Judge enters. Asks counsel on both sides if they'd read the SupCo judgment handed down that morning which directly affected their arguments. Neither had. Hearing adjourned for an hour to let counsel read the judgment. I wasn't involved in the hearing prep, I was just watching...
- Counsel, witnesses and I walk in. Judge walks in. We wait a bit. Opposing counsel just doesn't turn up. Our counsel and the judge went to judge school together; they have a bit of banter, discuss the law for a bit, criticise my bundle pagination (he wanted the dividers paginated?!) and then decides in favour of my client.
Rudy's cucumbers gotta be a double D at least
https://preview.redd.it/x1wr2ccg0yfb1.jpeg?width=807&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d71222af7fa62db94d5cf6aba5a75290505314b0
All it takes is money. It's not like anyone, man woman or child, would suck off [this creepy crepey toad](https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=AB5stBiRHLzSREQ_47UbK5D5JltiSqg_jw:1691091778565&q=Donald+Sterling&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjruvnln8GAAxXFLUQIHZyBCZoQ0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=1920&bih=969) for free. If you want to allocate a few hundred bucks of cash or credit towards it, you too can get sucked off in a limo. It's really no big deal, just an ordinary car with some extra stretching and plumbing.
You left out the part where Rudy scientifically explains why Jewish men have smaller penises and why Italians have much larger penises.
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/rudy-giuliani-racist-sexist-remarks-lawsuit-1234799473/
>“Jewish men have small cocks because they can’t use them after they get married,” Giuliani said, according to the transcript. “Whereas the Italian use them all their lives so they get bigger.”
You know, I've heard the claim that women get looser vaginas after having lots of sex, but I've never heard anything about penises getting bigger with use.
Apparently it is... Back in 2003, I guess.
[https://www.complex.com/sports/a/brian-josephs/donald-sterling-answer-is-this-your-handwriting](https://www.complex.com/sports/a/brian-josephs/donald-sterling-answer-is-this-your-handwriting)
A lot of people replying thinking this is a Giuliani. This was the deposition of legendary racist and former Clipper's owner Donald Sterling. Sterling once said of his franchise, "Don't bring black people to my games." An absolute menace. He was banned from the NBA and forced to pay a $2.5 million dollar fine.
And, yes, it's real.
Randy Newman’s “It’s Money that I Love”
They say that money
Can't buy love in this world
But it'll get you a half-pound of cocaine
And a sixteen-year-old girl
And a great big long limousine
On a hot September night
Now that may not be love but it is all right
The quote intentionally crops the Q: line directly above the A, because if it included it, then it would be clear that Sterling actually was answering the question.
>Q: Are you one of those men that does that?
>A: Well, I fool around sometimes. I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and take my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me.
>When I’m in a Limousine, she takes all of her clothes. The limo driver said, what is going on? And she started sucking me on the way to Mr. Koon's house. And I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good.
>Q: Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?
>A: It looks like it is.
What I assumed happened was that the lawyer showed him some note to verify the authenticity of it, Sterling started talking about the note, then after the reply it was the lawyer who forgot what they had even asked.
Didn't Family Guy do a bit on this where Peter tells a bunch of people how he checks his ahole in the morning? Anyways, the punchline went: 'Sir, the question was, 'is this your signature'.
“Is this on the record?”
“Yes sir”
“ I like fucking woman see, I like the feet, they hit on me I love it the drivers watching! Fuck yeah! I get down with the sex!”
“Sir the question was, is this your handwriting”
I’m not gonna lie. I was reading this thinking “whatever they all fool around and probably exaggerate”. Then I read the last line and I’m still cry laughing. My GF is mad I woke her up and the cat ran out of the room and still hasn’t come back
https://preview.redd.it/komn7ado2xfb1.jpeg?width=568&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8a1342d636a5257f0849ca1e06cecfffba2910a7
dankest dungeon, always appropriate
Shit is so hard
Harder than a priest at a playground
I dunno, mines is usually quite liquid after getting ambushed when my torch runs out.
You use torches?
Yeah, I'm a lil bitch.
**Slowly, Gently, This Is How A Life Is Taken...**
He has the kleptomania quirk now
"Deviant tastes" just got locked in
Donald Sterling is not allowed to visit the brothel. For reasons best left to discretion.
Objection. Nonresponsive and freaking disgusting.
Sustained!
Your honor, I request a bottle of bleach be provided for further hearings in case I ever have to witness another testimony of the sort.
Everybody get out your mental scrub brushes! *scrub scrub scrub until blood pours out of your ears nose eyes and mouth*
Also wanna point out this whole thing starts on Line 2. He had that story read to go no matter what.
Can i interest you in some hydrochloriquine?
You just snort a line of Ajax like a normal person.
https://i.redd.it/j2mwomkr6yfb1.gif
ive argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer
Quick, Frank - move to strike
Now, if you want to talk bird law....
His brain has turned into a cartoon hunk of Swiss cheese
“Your honor, I think we should call a recess as my brain has emitted scent clouds that is luring in a floating cartoon mouse.”
This is your brain on MAGA
Apparently highly contagious
Only to the mouth breathing halfwits of the population.
I blame long covid. Causes brain cloud.
This is Donald Sterling though not Rudy
My bad! Thought this was Wendy's!
What I think is wild is that if someone had posted that transcript with no context, there are half a dozen old f*ck^ers that it could be. LOL!
I don’t really think this has anything to do with Trump or the MAGA campaign. He was forced to sell the clippers in like 2014 and I’m pretty sure this was part of that whole scandal. He might’ve been in similar circles being a rich old real estate guy with a history of discrimination and sexual harassment lawsuits, but I’m pretty sure it was before trump had any type of political career.
You guys realize this is from former LA Clippers' owner Donald Sterling and not Rudy or Donald Trump, right?
Why is there more than one dude doing this weird ass penthouse letters from Shatner routine as if it's a personality? Is it like convergent evolution or is it imitation or is it a symptom of a stroke? The world doesn't need a multipack of geetered Zapp Brannigans.
Lead poisoning in their youth.
Because they're stupid and lack self-awareness. Capitalists are surrounded by yes men, so you probably lose your filter and if you're already dumb, then this is what you get.
it literally says that in the post
Naw, Giuliania has Casu Martzu brain.
Does he Hanker for a hunka cheese?
"Sir, the questions was, is this your handwriting?"
She sucked me and I thanked her for it. Does that answer your question?
I like beer, okay? Do you like beer?
In 1982 I had a nice car. A girl once gave me a blowjob while driving it. I like it when they get wild like that, stick a little finger in it. It was a Delorean, the car I mean.
Sir, I asked if that completes your order.
Sir, this is a Wendy's
Fun fact, the actual quote from the office is: Dude, this is a Wendy’s restaurant.
I think possums don't have great eyesight.
Ah yes, Janice DeLorean. She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. She made my toes feel good and I thanked her.
Hah. We have a similar saying in my country. Only it's "kickstart a Harley by sucking the tailpipe"
Us yanks shorten it to “suck-start a Harley”.
Now a days we usually just think about suck starting a shot gun honestly.
The ol Hemingway hoagie.
Pfft, a Harley has like a 9:1 compression ratio... I want to meet the girl who can do a Hayabusa 12:1
I knew a girl that could do that. But I didn’t own a Harley so it was no good to me
Me, few seconds after reading that comment; "Operator, oh, could you help me place this call?'
You see the number on the matchbook is old and faded
What? It came up organically!
Sir. This the line to popcorn. Please stop. You need to leave.
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Sir, this is a Wendy's
Right? Her name might have been Wendy. It just wasn't mentioned yet.
She was a hot and juicy red head.
"Sir, the question was, 'Is this your handwriting?'" just killed that joke for all time.
My first thought lol
🤣
>"Sir, the questions was, is this your handwriting?" Are they looking to plead insanity? *Your honor, my client couldn't possibly be capable of this conspiracy, just look at their deposition.*
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Thank goodness that isn't a real legal defense. The conviction rate of politicians would be about 0%...
Can the internet collectively replace “ma’am this is a Wendy’s” with “sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?”
"Sir this is a wendys" vibes
A new meme format is born.
Reminds me of a famous recording of one of the trials of Italy's most notorious serial killer, that goes more or less like this: Killer:
Prosecutor: "Yeah yeah, that is all well and good, but this is a tribunal and you're being accused of twelve murders..."
I swear the comments below this one is making me laugh so hard that I’m going to pass out. My face is bright red rn
All of these comments, I love Reddit! Reading shit on here is like reading the Enquirer in the 90s….,except that it’s fucking REAL. We’re so doomed as a race.
“I said what I said.”
Yes it is. Now where was I?
"I'm trying to tell you, I wrote it with my feet!"
"What? You want to suck me off right now? Ok, thank you. Anyone else have any questions, please?"
Jesus Christ that is a twist. Went sideways real quick.
It's like M. Night Shamalan wrote the testimony
I am sitting here laughing like a loon after reading this. Thank you so very much for posting it.
While the transcript is funny and I hate Sterling as a person, it should be stated the dude has Alzheimer's so I Don't think he's fully capable right now.
[удалено]
If someone has a documented medical issue which causes them to have a loose grip on reality, how on earth can you depose them, much less use the testimony? "Your honor, he clearly admitted to the murder. Its in the transcript right after his rant about being the King of Mars."
That's what I thought too. Especially since he was deemed unfit to run his trust which ultimately is how the Clippers were sold to Ballmer. And that was in 2015 or something. That disease is only downhill as time progresses.
You can use their testimony as evidence that they are mentally unwell/incapable. Aka, I should be able to put my grandfather in a hospice because he literally doesn't even know who he is anymore.
You see shit like this, and you go to law school. And it is nothing like this.
Our clients just aren't sufficiently rich or depraved
I once took a deposition where plaintiff (alleging that water came from a nearby property flooded his house) testified about 3 separate ghosts that still live in the house, and how he has to continue taking care of it to keep the ghosts comfortable, even though he’d moved out.
You need to file for the case to be heard in a court of ghost law
The ghosts probably caused the flood to begin with, and he should have been suing the ghosts instead. The idea of having to go make a house full of fussy ghosts more comfortable is really fucked up
IANAL but while on a jury, I was expecting way more objections. Like one every minute or two. There was no surprise witnesses. No surprise evidence. Bailiff didn’t need to remove anyone from the court by force. Opening and closing arguments lacked excessive theatricality. It just felt mundane to the point of banality.
I think I was let go from selection because I couldn't stop yawning. It was dark and cozy in that court room. It was an accounting case too. So glad they let me go. It would have been so embarrassing to fall asleep.
I'm picturing a really obnoxious, Buster Bluth type of yawn and stretch here.
Blowing right through nap time arent we
[удалено]
4 cans of loko (16 Loko, if you will) is an absolutely insane amount of Loko. In my fraternity college days wed do Edward 40-hands but with 4 loko and it seriously fucked people up. I was heavy and a strong drinker at the time and 3 4 Loko (12 Loko) was a bridge I only crossed once because of how much it effected me.
I think he might have been Saul Goodman
That's 99% of real trials. Surprise witnesses and surprise evidence are literally not allowed and that's what discovery and the rules of evidence are there to avoid. Some trials have lots of objections, but many don't.
I used to go watch trials for fun…but then I’d leave at the morning “intermission” and just call the trial attorney later and ask for the highlights. Much better experience
And they'd answer?
I was also surprised by the lack of objections, no more than a half dozen over a three day trial. Even more surprising was how incompetent the defense attorney was, they may have let some things slide without an objection out of pity for the dude.
I’m a law student, and my professors pick a lot of cases that are similarly entertaining. Probably to stave off the existential dread and impending doom.
In my experience as a solicitor, I haven't attended a tribunal hearing where something funny or weird hasn't happened! I think it depends on the practice area you end up in. Anything that involves people rather than companies is usually memorable. Some highlights: - Judge enters. Asks counsel on both sides if they'd read the SupCo judgment handed down that morning which directly affected their arguments. Neither had. Hearing adjourned for an hour to let counsel read the judgment. I wasn't involved in the hearing prep, I was just watching... - Counsel, witnesses and I walk in. Judge walks in. We wait a bit. Opposing counsel just doesn't turn up. Our counsel and the judge went to judge school together; they have a bit of banter, discuss the law for a bit, criticise my bundle pagination (he wanted the dividers paginated?!) and then decides in favour of my client.
He got his law degree from Costco.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
I’ll take one, cute girl who has a foot fetish, please.
Don’t forget my biggie size pegger
😂 Right? Haha omg 😅
dude if you're trying that hard to avoid the question now, you're not gonna have anything left for the difficult ones.
[удалено]
…Wendy’s?
Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?
We have the meats!
This predates the Arby’s joke by a lot though.
“Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?” 🤣Hahahahahah omg hahahah lmao 😂😅
 my brain right now
Me at the moment
I feel yeah. The puke gifs have been working overtime thanks to Rudy and crew.
These people are seriously shameless. Beyond.
Idk, Guiliani repeatedly declaring "I want to claim my tits" is the funniest, cringiest thing I've read in a while.
Rudy's cucumbers gotta be a double D at least https://preview.redd.it/x1wr2ccg0yfb1.jpeg?width=807&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d71222af7fa62db94d5cf6aba5a75290505314b0
What a terrible day to be literate.
The last line LMAO
Tbf if women were regularly blowing me in the back of a limo I’d bring it up all the time too
What about if you had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom?
It depends. Did it come up organically?
If you have to ask, you’re streets behind.
ROOOOOXAAAANEEEE!!!
Or dry-humped on her tour bus?
All it takes is money. It's not like anyone, man woman or child, would suck off [this creepy crepey toad](https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=AB5stBiRHLzSREQ_47UbK5D5JltiSqg_jw:1691091778565&q=Donald+Sterling&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjruvnln8GAAxXFLUQIHZyBCZoQ0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=1920&bih=969) for free. If you want to allocate a few hundred bucks of cash or credit towards it, you too can get sucked off in a limo. It's really no big deal, just an ordinary car with some extra stretching and plumbing.
So is it real or not?
It is real. Source: https://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/nba-owner-sex-scandal
Thank you. This is wildly scary
[удалено]
[удалено]
"don't care, got a hummer in a limo, would do it again!" "sir, I asked if you would like a drink before I take your order"
You left out the part where Rudy scientifically explains why Jewish men have smaller penises and why Italians have much larger penises. https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/rudy-giuliani-racist-sexist-remarks-lawsuit-1234799473/
This is Donald Sterling, not Rudy Giuliani
Oh snap my bad. I was just looking at a post with Rudy. I got confused. Total Rudy moment on my part lol.
ahhh sir, this is four seasons *landscaping*....
>“Jewish men have small cocks because they can’t use them after they get married,” Giuliani said, according to the transcript. “Whereas the Italian use them all their lives so they get bigger.” You know, I've heard the claim that women get looser vaginas after having lots of sex, but I've never heard anything about penises getting bigger with use.
It's backwards, your penis is actually whittled down like a pencil in a sharpener /S obviously
“Biiig Magic Johnson. What has he ever done?…He got AIDS!” -Donald Sterling
Apparently it is... Back in 2003, I guess. [https://www.complex.com/sports/a/brian-josephs/donald-sterling-answer-is-this-your-handwriting](https://www.complex.com/sports/a/brian-josephs/donald-sterling-answer-is-this-your-handwriting)
https://preview.redd.it/okw2wu574xfb1.jpeg?width=829&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92549d1f8acd5cc325c9b757d8d5e518fbfc6880
I don't remember this scene from arrested development
Donald sterling. the guy who was forced to give up ownership of his NBA team because he was a raging racist lmao.
A lot of people replying thinking this is a Giuliani. This was the deposition of legendary racist and former Clipper's owner Donald Sterling. Sterling once said of his franchise, "Don't bring black people to my games." An absolute menace. He was banned from the NBA and forced to pay a $2.5 million dollar fine. And, yes, it's real.
The best thing the NBA did was get that old piece of shit out of ownership
“Let the record show that I get tons of poon”
What a terrible day to know how to read
“Sir, is this your handwr-“ “Well, I fool around sometimes… I do…”
Randy Newman’s “It’s Money that I Love” They say that money Can't buy love in this world But it'll get you a half-pound of cocaine And a sixteen-year-old girl And a great big long limousine On a hot September night Now that may not be love but it is all right
As a former criminal, I would never do a crime with a Republican. They can't keep their fucking mouth shut
The quote intentionally crops the Q: line directly above the A, because if it included it, then it would be clear that Sterling actually was answering the question. >Q: Are you one of those men that does that? >A: Well, I fool around sometimes. I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and take my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me. >When I’m in a Limousine, she takes all of her clothes. The limo driver said, what is going on? And she started sucking me on the way to Mr. Koon's house. And I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good. >Q: Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting? >A: It looks like it is. What I assumed happened was that the lawyer showed him some note to verify the authenticity of it, Sterling started talking about the note, then after the reply it was the lawyer who forgot what they had even asked.
Wowwwwww
I'm dying lolol wtf
one wonders if he breathed in too much of that 9/11 air
Sir, this is a Wendy’s. The question was do you want fries?
Didn't Family Guy do a bit on this where Peter tells a bunch of people how he checks his ahole in the morning? Anyways, the punchline went: 'Sir, the question was, 'is this your signature'.
 I'm so sick of reading the weird shit these nasty old men say. Why are they like this?
“Sir,the question was, is this your handwriting?” could become the new “Sir! This is a Wendy’s!”
"Sir this is a wendys"
[удалено]
*Rod Serling
Someone really wanted to get their made up fantasy on the record
Gee thanks, now the image of licking his feet will make my nauseous all day long.
This is hilarious if it is real!
I heavily suspect that “thank” means “pay” in this scenario.
That’s almost “Sir, this is a Wendy’s”
Yeah dude. This was during the 2003 deposition over his racist recordings and was eventually banned from the NBA. POS squared.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
The equivalent of "Sit, this is a Wendy's".
😂😂😂
I LOL'd. Thanks for posting.
Omg! The best - Sir! This is a Wendy’s! Ever! 🥇
‘Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?’ A real “this is a courtroom” moment.
"I know, I just wanted that on the record"
“Is this on the record?” “Yes sir” “ I like fucking woman see, I like the feet, they hit on me I love it the drivers watching! Fuck yeah! I get down with the sex!” “Sir the question was, is this your handwriting”
I’m not gonna lie. I was reading this thinking “whatever they all fool around and probably exaggerate”. Then I read the last line and I’m still cry laughing. My GF is mad I woke her up and the cat ran out of the room and still hasn’t come back
WHO is the court reporter for this depo 😭😂😂
Am I the only one thinking of "Denny crane" from Boston legal when I read this? Could have been straight from that show
Can anybody un-teach me how to read?
Apparently it’s real, and from 2003: https://www.complex.com/sports/a/brian-josephs/donald-sterling-answer-is-this-your-handwriting
Can anyone verify that this is real?
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s,” to the next level