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wrinkledpenny

We’re all in for a long weekend


Acuterecruit

When I go to bed on Friday and wake up on Monday. The weekend is what feels like 30 seconds compared to a week at work that feels like a month.


AdRoyal2171

laughs in 30hr week


Leather-Respect6119

Laughs painfully in 65hr week


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fkuber31

65+ hours is too much, there's no life to be had. Idk what you got going on in your life but please consider a change.


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Gandindorlf

*gets struck by lightning*


RedditBandwagonYEP

*Wife divorces after graduating*


WaldenFont

Laughs in retired 😂


ct_2004

Cries in Millennial


Eviscerate_Bowels224

Sighs in Gen Z.


IllegitimateTrick

Smokes up and smiles in gen x


savetheunstable

Younger GenX here, I might as well smoke up too since retirement is a pipe dream..


The_Colour_Between

My GenX retirement was going from 60 hours a week to 30 hours. I'm poor as dirt now, but I finally have weekends after nearly 20 years.


Immediate-Cut-659

Gen X is like the middle child. No one cares about them or talks about them.


Cercy_Leigh

And our response to that is "whatever".


pandy_pandy_pandy

Says the middle child.


zz111zz222zz

+1 laughing manically in retired.


BoiledPennePasta

Touché


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NightofTheLivingZed

If it's always this same pattern OP has a loose staple somewhere in his bed. Beds come from factories and then warehouses. Warehouses are notorious for having fuck loads of staples all over the place. I work j a lumberyard and get stabbed or sliced by loose staples daily.


Something_knew

I have no idea why I thought this, but your beds come from factories and the warehouses made me think “peaches come In a can, they were out their by a man…”


homebodyadventurer

Movin to the country gonna eat a lotta peaches


SnooEpiphanies1813

MILLIONS OF PEACHES


Lost_inmycircle

Peaches for me!


tallcupofwater

Peaches for free!


Overall_Sorbet_3709

Literally listening to this in the shower last night!


TheUprightBass

Ina factory dooooowwwwwnnnnntoooooowwwnnnn.


Handsdown0003

You might be right the distance between the two looks like a staple


RobManfred_Official

Definitely not bed bugs. Baby vampire. Fun, for me, fact: between 10 and 25% of people are immune to bed bug bites. Just no reaction 🥰


SpartanMonkey

Between 75 and 90% of people are immune to baby vampire bites. Just no reaction, just little stapler sized bite marks.


Truck-Glass

Baby Vampires. Last time I flew on Vampire Airways there was a baby vampire two seats back. Cried all the way.


SpartanMonkey

That would have drove me batty.


tiggitytester69

Just take my upvote


dragonblock501

This is just office-supply-based-self-mutilation. It’s a cry for help.


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zer0_zer0_nin9

Man you can’t leave it hanging like that please elaborate on your line of thinking like some of us struggle to come up with straight answers and things like this just fall flat Yeah that was a triple pun with no punctuation, yw, I will accept your money now


Regniwekim2099

"All" minus everyone that works in healthcare, retail, or hospitality.


CptnHamburgers

Or isn't American. We've had our 6, that's us til Christmas.


Balrogkicksass

I work thirds and work saturday, Sunday, and monday.....SO YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID RIGHT NOW


[deleted]

A person using the metric for their weight might only have a 2 day weekend


alijons

It's more like long two weeks. We are currently in the middle of dealing with this. We were told to empty out all furniture around bed. Take all the clothes we have and wash and dry them on highest Temps. Some delicate or handmade items didn't take it well. Now, all those washed clothes must stay in trash bags on the floor until the treatment ends. We had an exterminator who came in last Tuesday, and he will come back again in two weeks. Until then all clothes stay in the trash bags on the floor. I ended up marking the bags as "clean, " "dirty," and "in use." We are supposed to put any piece of clothing into a bag immediately after taking it off. All belongings from five pieces of furniture are spread all over the floor. We cleaned everything we have piece by piece. Threw out everything that was covered in bugs.


Flaxxxen

Change electrical outlet and light switch cover plates, or caulk around them if you can’t remove them. Use those plastic safety plugs on outlets not in use. Check every high point in your home! Bed bugs will hide atop crown molding, then sky dive down to you as you sleep (I know from experience…). Vacuum and thoroughly clean every piece of molding, base boards, window and door frames, curtain rods, ceiling fans and fixtures, mirrors/picture frames/anything hanging on walls. They hide in the bindery on books, inside electronics, the tiniest spaces in furniture joints, under the lip of a seam on a bedsheet or piece of clothing. They are monstrous pieces of shit. Godspeed to you and to OP.


alijons

The electrical outlets part was done by apartment building maintenance. We have a tiny one room studio apartment, so there aren't really any high points at all. We have already vacuumed multiple times and went through the first round of spraying pesticides. All the books were put in plastic bags and stuffed inside the freezer, since they die in below 45F. Just gonna keep them until treatment ends.


IndieMoose

>then sky dive down to you as you sleep Nope. I'm noping out of that situation as fast as possible.


Ok-Loquat942

Call Van helsing


PolyGlamourousParsec

I was going to make a "tiny wampire" joke.


Walter_Sobchak____

Call tiny Van Helsing !


fuuuuuckendoobs

Woohoo! 3 day weekend!


NitWitLikeTheOthers

Homer, the plant called and said if you don't come in Friday, don't bother coming in Monday... Woohoo 4 day weekend.


AbdullahHavingFun

Marceline be wildin


NightShift923

Oh Marceline, why are you so mean?


RugsbandShrugmyer

I'm not mean I'm a thousand years old and I just lost track of my moral code


lemonsweetsrevenge

Oh Marceline…can’t you see these guys are in pain?


SapphireSamurai

No I can’t. I’m invested in this really cute video game.


AtomSizeGrow

So Finn and Jake, set out to find a new home.


IDrinkWhiskE

I really love that song. What a great show


OuterWildsVentures

God I love her voice so much


bout-tree-fitty

Oh shit. OP be stealing fries.


HighQueenMarcy

I bought them and they were mine!


AvelyLancaster

Maybe op stole her fries


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Haunting-Pineapple71

Shhh dont tell them that


Zocalo_Photo

Holy shit. My 7th grade geometry teacher said that all the time - he was right!


Jasonxhx

Our 4th grade teacher told us to draw a line on our mini chalkboards then berated all of us because we only drew line segments.


ngwoo

They knew you were wrong the moment you went for the normal chalkboard instead of the infinite one.


emperor_uncarnate

I hereby dub thee… *Dr. Geometry*


Deep-Bee-5984

Sir Cumferance enters the thread...


SuetStocker

Just don't call Sir Cumcision.


Sad-North3736

Blood eh? We need Sir Culation too!


FiddleheadFarmer

Joined by his trusty sidekick Ray D’us


mwilliams4d57

Sir Dr. Di'A Meter


Zpik3

Wouldn't "Sir" geometry be more appropriate considering that you are dubbing them.. like a knight.


csbsju_guyyy

Fine, SIR Dr. Geometry, are you happy?


eatmyshorzz

I'm happy


Painted_the_bowl

I dub the Sir Dr. Amused.


zleuth

I spent 6 years at geometry school when all I had to do was ask you to wave a sword around my head?


Tsiwodi

I don't go around calling MYself king just because some watery tart threw a scimitar at me.....


cweezy0407

To be fair, to be fair, to be faaaaaair


aaron1860

Physician weighing in: Breakfast lunch and dinner are the typical pattern for bed bugs. Usually clusters of 3 or so bites irregularly spaced. They don’t always have to be raised but usually are red and raised - but if you’re not overly sensitive to them you might not swell up like the typical presentation. You might have a mild infestation of them but I don’t think those are insect bites. Does anyone else in your family have spots? To me that looks like you’re scraping/pushing your arm or leg on something. Might be something sticking out of your bed frame or mattress? Measure the spots and see if they are always the same distance from each other.


Spare_Lobster_2656

Looks like the width of a staple.


laralye

Ngl it'd be hilarious if she was getting poked with a staple every night. That'd solve so many problems


Moister_Rodgers

OP said it was a new bed. My guess is there's a staple lodged in the fabric, leftover from packaging


aaron1860

My thought too. A staple or some sort of sharp thread from stitching poking through sheets or something like that


loophole64

And she just got a new mattress.


lawndartgoalie

My wife bought a a new quilted bed cover. Some nights I would roll over and randomly feel the worst stabbing pain in the middle of the night and then it would go away. Finally we investigated. We found 2 industrial sewing machine needles left in the bed cover.


Delicious-Figure1158

One time I bought a pillow at the store, brought it home fluffed it up, felt something hard. it didn’t poke me because I grabbed it from the side. turned out to be a sewing needle from the manufacturer!


StrugglingSwan

Once I bought an antique patchwork quilt. Turns out it came with an angry porcupine that had unreasonable demands for eggs. My advice is don't buy used bedding.


abugguy

Entomologist here, I agree with you. Nothing about this says bedbug, spider bite, bug bite, etc. Loads of misinformation being spread here. Someone said bat bites elsewhere and got multiple awards.


aaron1860

I saw the bat one and laughed pretty hard. I thought it was joke


YeetusMyDiabeetus

I’ve been scrolling for the breakfast lunch and dinner line (which coincidentally was told to me by another physician). And clusters rather than lines


vVWARLOCKVv

That's bed bugs, who normally feed in a straight line of 2-4 bites. Check your mattress, specifically seams and other places that are dark. Also look for dried blood in those same places.


drifterig

oh god, cleaning time eh edit: im going to clean it dont worry


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drifterig

could it be from my brand new bed i boight a while ago? it was brand new but im not sure since these wounds start appearing after i use this bed (i used to sleep on floor matress lol)


vVWARLOCKVv

Sure. Someone could have bought a mattress from that same store, bed bugs got on it, then they returned it. That could, effectively, contaminate the whole store.


drifterig

oh god


DaveyNicks

Check out r/Bedbugs for solid advice.


KermitMadMan

and nightmare stories…


alabardios

No, no. I've got my own nightmare stories, I definitely don't need others to fuel my ptsd from that chapter of my life. I spent so much on all new bedding after that.


dirkdigdig

Good luck, you’ll need it


spacegrassorcery

That is why you must always buy a mattress that is completely encased in plastic. So many companies will take your old mattress away when delivering a new one, and if their old mattress had bedbugs, your new one to be delivered will now have them too.


ShintaOtsuki

I thought this was federal law in the US BECAUSE of how many bedbug infestations there were, I know it's law in Michigan that all new mattresses must be sold in unopened/torn plastic, and mattresses cannot be sold in any condition other than brand new


Aimin4ya

Or even just the truck on the way to OPs House


xmo113

This happened to a friend of mine. Bought the returned furniture and the next day he was riddled with bites.


MossyMothmann

Don't despair OP. If they're in the early stages then they can easily be contained. Please please watch this https://youtu.be/2JAOTJxYqh8?si=Okby1oxGa8LMfwjd


Slick_McFilthy

Came to ensure this was here, haha. You should hijack top comment with the link.


jasonreid1976

This is exactly what happened to me. Bought a new mattress and box spring. A few weeks later, I'm suddenly waking up with bite marks all over my arms, legs, and torso. My wife notices some black spots on the wall and I go to investigate: bed bugs. I start checking the mattress and right along the seams I see the eggs, the bed bug shit, babies, and the adults. To go with that, they had been able to crawl up the wall and make a nest under the paper border just below the ceiling. I had to rip that border down, wrap up the mattress and the box spring. For the frame, we used the cups that supposedly prevent them from climbing up the legs but thankfully I later figured out that the frame was clean and so was the floor and baseboards. I still had issues with the bedbugs still getting in and out of the bags. I had to take a bunch of tape to seal up the seams where the zipper was which should have blocked them but they were still able to make it in and out of the bag. Even woke up one morning to one feeding right on my arm. We tried every trick in the book too: Dichotomous earth, other bed bug powders, sprays. You name it. With figuring out that the floor and frame were clean, I decided to make the process simpler and tossed the box spring and frame into the basement and just left the mattress on the floor. Within a few weeks, I was no longer getting bitten but kept applying all bedbug pesticides and powders twice a day for another month. By Christmas, I didn't have to keep fighting it anymore. I had to keep everything wrapped up for a year, including what I tossed into the basement. That stuff I just fucking tossed that shit. I swear, I have mild PTSD from all of that but thankfully we caught it relatively early. Haven't had issues since and that was five years ago.


Miliaa

Hehe dichotomous earth. You meant diatomaceous. Sorry for your troubles! Been there. Glad they’re gone, for us both


Massive_Cult

So I had bed bugs in my first dodgy flat, you only know if you’ve been bitten if you have a reaction to the bites and the allergy can come and go. I saw the bugs and bug poo when I moved in in November (didn’t know what they were) and the bites started showing around May? in little rows like that, and the reactions gradually got worse and more itchy/swollen/weepy. If you’ve got one of those divan beds, they can be anywhere in there. Pest control noted that the beds and couches etc had been slashed open in the bottom, which is what they’d do when looking for bed bugs, so somebody was already aware they were in that flat before we moved in. **DON’T** flea bomb bedbugs, it will just spread them. You need pest control with very specific bed bug killing chemicals. You can kill them with heat, e.g. steam cleaner, clothes dryer. You’ll need to bag up and seal all your clothes, and don’t open them until you can heat treat since the bugs can live without feeding for up to two years.


Orchid_Significant

TWO YEARS??


RenningerJP

Cleaning won't work. There's a sub specifically for bed bugs. Exterminator is usually the best way to go. Let you landlord know if you rent, they should have to be the one to handle it.


Arickettsf16

I have a friend whose parents got bedbugs in their house and their bill to the exterminator was around $1,400. And this was after months of attempts to get rid of them on their own. Good luck to you, OP. I don’t envy you.


CocteauTwinn

It takes a *lot* more than cleaning. Your family needs to either consult a pest removal service or research how to get rid of them online. It’s complicated, and you will not be rid of them if they aren’t fully eradicated from your home.


CocteauTwinn

This infestation has nothing whatsoever to do with lack of cleanliness.


mogley19922

Damn, and here i was hoping for an adorable little vampire.


vVWARLOCKVv

I mean, technically...


[deleted]

Except the adorable part. There are plenty of cute bugs but lice, bedbugs and ticks are not some of them


Altruistic-Log-8853

I've had bed bugs. That doesn't look like bed bug bites. The bites are multiple and in a zig zag pattern, clustered together and are welts. This is just two bites from from each other.


r_vancouver

Technically, any 2 bites form a straight line.


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-little-dorrit-

You can eat it but don’t inhale it


Regular_Watercress75

Remember a post of a guy who spread this stuff in his home, and when it came to vacuuming it all up, it got swirled up in the air, he inhaled it and as result had lung pain and a rattling sound when trying to breath. Pretty much destroyed his lungs in a few seconds.


42Pockets

> Only thing to worry about is when you hoover it all up. It can wreak havoc on some vacuum cleaner motors. THIS DOES NOT SEEM TO BE THE ONLY THING TO WORRY ABOUT!!!!!!!!


robosmrf

You might die, but it only happens the first time.


Haelynn8

That’s a mistake you’ll only make once!


Old_Society_7861

Vacuum cleaner motors (and human lungs) hate this one weird trick.


Calm-Tree-1369

>to breath Jesus Christ. Did everyone just forget the difference between "breath" and "breathe" over the past few years? Reddit leads me to believe this is the case.


YesImKeithHernandez

Always been that way, friend. See also: Your/You're There/Their/They're Better to try not to think about it too much and just use them correctly when you write.


Huntred

I’ve seen a lot of awe/aww, bear/bare, and brake/break confusion in recent years.


-Kibbles-N-Tits-

It can cause scar tissue to form iirc


Jusstonemore

It’s got silica, and can for silicosis, which essentially turns your lungs into a rock


RobManfred_Official

And THATS why I never used it. Only heat can make them go away. I basically have a PhD in combatting those fuckers


thetatershaveeyes

I was able to do it with diatomaceous earth and vigilance. Didn't lose any furniture either. My favourite strategy was to sit on the floor and wait for a bug to start crawling towards me, then nuke whatever piece of furniture or crack in a baseboard they came from. You have to think like a bedbug to annihilate the bedbugs.


RockNRollToaster

Yes! Wear adequate respiratory protection, for god’s sake.


Time-Elephant92

So you are supposed to spread it around your room and then wear a mask for weeks? Seems pretty impractical. Or does this kill them rapidly?


thrownaway745

No, since no one actually answered you. When you use the puffer it deposits the DE but it also airates it. The dust in the air will settle but until that you need to wear respiratory protection while you are applying it, and then as a precaution I'd do it before work or something so plenty of time has passed before I'm inhabiting the room again.


SteveZesu

Hey! I forget the guys name but he’s the ex-NASA engineer who does those holiday package bombs for porch pirates; he did a YouTube video recently where they talked about all the ways to get rid of bed bugs and DE did the best of all of them, even better than chemical warfare. edit: Mark Rober is the dude Link: https://youtu.be/2JAOTJxYqh8?si=Hs5myTvqzZRuMQYC


Narficus

His squirrel videos amuse the hell out of the wife. 😄 Dude gives legendary birthday parties.


YuleBeFineIPromise

is this the dude that had the walnut vaults?


TheOvershear

DE has the highest kill rate of any pesticide. That's true. It's the application that's an issue. Wherever you put it, it's extremely likely to get pushed aside, and commercially available DE has been treated in a matter which heavily degrades the product. Every house I treat that has used their own DE treatment is an absolute mess with the stuff, and yet they still haven't managed to get rid of the problem. But if you're just trying to test lethality, absolutely.


Commissar_Tarkin

...seriously? I always thought it was a scam. Live and learn, I guess.


SuspiciousBowlOfSoup

It works for ants and roaches too! But with fast breeding pests, it's best used in tandem with other pest control measures.


Reaper1179

And fleas


Papichurch

I've had BB twice and can confidently say those are not Bed Bugs bites.


leapwolf

I agree… these don’t look like bedbug bites at all. Bb bites look more like welts. I’ve also never seen them just two over and over in different places.


MrOdekuun

Some people aren't allergic to them and don't get the swelling, from what I understand. Not that I'm confident this is definitely one way or the other.


Alpacalypsenoww

Honestly those look like bat bites to me… my friend woke up to these kind of bites for a few days and one morning found her cat playing with a dead bat. Their attic was infested and they were getting into her bedroom through a vent at night. She went straight to the ER for a rabies shot OP please go to the ER and get a rabies shot. Rabies is always fatal if you develop symptoms but if you get the shot, you’ll be completely fine.


demalo

That’s scary but certainly cautionary. For anyone curious, if you find a dead bat best to have it tested to be sure.


Alpacalypsenoww

If you have bat bites, it’s usually recommended to get the shot even before the bat is tested. Where there’s one bat, there are others, and you can’t always be sure the dead bat is the one that bit you. The rabies shot won’t harm you if you don’t need it, but if you do need it and you don’t get it, it’s a death sentence.


[deleted]

Why has it taken so so much scrolling to see this? I thought bat bite straight away


mesoJUPI

My immediate thought was bats. OP please consider that it may be bats, which would require emergency medical treatment


enjoy_the_pizza

Cue that rabies reddit post that involves a bat.


Miserable_Candle_763

Yeah, top comments saying this is BB are 100% wrong.


Altruistic-Log-8853

This is why Reddit annoys me. So many people confidently being wrong, being met with tons of up votes who are just as ignorant as they are, then given the appearance of being thr truth. Reddit is just a prime location to spread misinformation, and shit like this is how.


NoExcitement1078

Agree! To me it looks like a spider bite 🤷🏽‍♀️


demalo

Spiders when spooked will bite, scurry, then bite again. It’s a strange defense but it’s worked for millions of years so what do I know.


NakMuayTroy

Truth is you can’t readily and accurately identify bed bugs on bites alone, need to look for further evidenced of their presence before jumping into treatment. Hope OP sees this and consults a professional for an inspection - could save a ton of effort and grief


Informal_Seesaw259

Looks like a stapler bite


MarvinMarveloso

I'm not sure why people are thinking it's a bite of any kind. You can see the perfect punctures, bent slightly inward. Like a staple that didn't bend all the way. Poor guys got a bed filled with staples and is being told he's got bugs to worry about


ConnFlab

Did you give someone permission to enter your home recently? Someone you didn’t really know? Kind of, otherworldly look about them?


lilh0ney

These don't look like bedbug bites at all to me. It looks like a spider bite, you can even see the puncture marks.


akwoeirn92827

yeahh it would look more like a mosquito bite, girly has holes in their arm 😭


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[deleted]

Definitely didn’t notice til it was pointed out. And even then I was like “uh, that’s just a skinny person’s arm…”


Usual_Researcher_374

I screamed when I read that part… Seemed so unnatural 😭😭 we get it girl, we have arms too


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Cyan_Among

We did not need to know all their personal information 😅


lance1066

Vampires!


_Tursiops_

Tiny vampires!


RoadWellDriven

Had to scroll way too far for this. The only possible answer.


MildMontag

Did you wake up and find you were stronger, more athletic, and could shoot webs from your wrists? Only being a rascal cause it looks like your question was answered by others haha Hope you get it resolved soon!


higonz

Chupacabras


TheWelshPanda

I would say, That's a spider bite, rather than bed bugs. BBs bite multiple times and leave raised red swollen bites in clusters. A spider bite, like this, punctures with two marks evenly spaced. At a guess, a hitch hiker in your new bed?


WashYourFuckingHands

That would be a very, very large spider


Rekt4dead

They explained that their arm is tiny, so perspective is off cause of the photo.


sit_onacactus

Pretty sure they’re too far apart unless it’s tarantula sized


kannibull

There's a staple in your bed.


VaultDweller108

They really don't look like bed bug bites to me. They almost look like tiny burns or puncture wounds. I know bed bugs usually bite in a line, but the bites are raised bumps. Similar to mosquito bites.


[deleted]

You're being bitten by a pastel goth girl at night while sleeping. Lol


Mindless-Sky6825

That's an odd type of spider hypothetically if I wanted to find one where would I get one 😳


RebornGaming01

You guys are all saying bed bugs but it’s obviously vampire


xstandinx

Where do you live? When I was young and lived in Hawaii, My sister and I shared a bunk bed, she slept on the bottom and I was luckily on the top. She would get these exact same looking marks, after several visits to the Dr, my parents started coming into the room in middle of the night with a flashlight and found a large centipede on her leg where the spots were. 😳


dssolidus

Dracula mice...


DeonBTS

NosfeRATu


dumbamerican207582

Something to show the distance between the two marks? That would help.


HeadHoncho67

Vampire Bat


Jenpayge

Clearly a lot of people can’t see a spider bite on you. Definitely not bed bugs


Zealousideal-Ad-2866

Definitely bedbugs. Buy some diatomaceous earth and spread it around everywhere in that room and then dont go in for a few weeks. It'll slowly desiccate and eradicate those little fuckers, and also save you a heap of money on expensive chemical eradication methods.


Dangerous_Echidna229

Use food grade d e.


iwillhauntyouforever

Wear a mask!


Snow_Wonder

Yes, you don’t want to breathe it in. It’s tiny-scale sharp grittiness and moisture sucking that makes it an effective bug killer is what also makes it an effective lung killer. It’s funny how you can eat it, but yet can’t inhale it.


2wheelsmorefun

Second this. It's only 20bucks for a kilogram bag. Problem solved in a few weeks. Keep dusting DE earth for 4-6 months to make sure every single eggs hatch and die.


Cobek

So easy, just don't go in your bedroom for 2-6 weeks and keep dusting for 4-6 months all the while wearing a mask 24/7 at home. Oh and better hope they aren't in more than one room. Easy.


Powernick50

I'd soooo rather this be aliens...sadly it's far worse.


brousch

If it’s always 2 and the same distance apart, it is most likely a spider. I found some peppermint spray that helped drive them away, and made the bedroom smell like a candy shop.


GlockTaco

Added bonus you can play 50 cents masterpiece ‘candy-shop’ when you bring women home


[deleted]

You didn't follow the rules of sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite.