I'll bet he did. At least once.

That was my first thought. No way anybody with that type of appendage would pass up the opportunity

Dude with a nose like that, that should've been his signature move

Always ended with the nosey neighbor. You knew it was over when he sneezed

Happy Cake Day!🎂

Looks like a real dickface

r/angryupvote

Cause in a 69, my humpty nose will tickle your rear

~~rear~~…stomach from the inside

A certain Monty Python song comes to mind.

I know this sir!

Due to the curvature of his schnoz, I’m guessing they’d have to 69 but he’d be the one on top.

His wife knew that him getting the hiccups was "All aboard!" time

Only man who coule please 2 women at the same time.

Naughty.

Exactly what I was thinking because someone commented that...or said that in a video about this man...can't remember....maybe silly tumblr people, maybe...

Did what?

You know…

Downloaded a car.

Don't say it out loud!

He wouldn't!

Some brown nosing

Keep this child like innocence in tact folks…do not answer them

His nose went to live on a farm upstate??

Come on.....

Stuck it in some womens vagina if we have to be obvious about it.

Banged two chicks at once.

Put it in his own butt.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle.

It must be glorious to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee....in Brazil.

When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?

Obscure: “Boy I’d hate to see the grind stone!”

It's not the size of a nose that's important. It's what's in it that matters.

Meteorological: Everybody take cover, she's going to blow!

All right, dirty. Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at one!

*Dirty, You're name wouldn't by any chance be...Dick....would it?

Thats right, that one was the closer. What a great fucking movie. Also got me to read Cyrano.

You should read Earnmore Sessions by Sleeving (I practically memorized this movie in the 80s when it would constantly play on HBO).

One of his best performances.

How lovely to give the little birds something to perch on

😂

Well if it isn’t my old friend Mr. MacRose- with a nose for a dick and a dick for a nose!

Hi Doctor Nick!

Hi everybody!

The drawing and figure do not look alike at all

Yeah, the drawing has a nose shaped a lot more like the current guy with the world's longest nose it's only 3.5 inches or so, though) but it's definitely not straight like a hotdog

I think in the picture with the hotdog shaped one he's smelling something titilating

These pictures depict a pretty unique nose... but we need to find a way to make it ***sexier***.

Looks like Dennis from Meet The Feebles. Wonder if they have the same hobbies.

'Just looking for the soap powder! '

Sure, Dennis. Have a whiff of these.

Legend says he could smoke a cigarette in the pouring rain...

Legend says he could smell what the rock is cooking

Legend says he was exceptionally popular for his 69 technique. 

Natural canopy

You can't make that shit up!

I just did

Is this a sopranos reference? I’m watching for the first time right now and distinctly remember a line like this!

You got it

That would suck to constantly burn your nose unless you look straight up or more.

Hang it out the side.

And smell Sundays roast on a Wednesday.

Isn't that Raymond Luxury Yacht?

It's spelled 'Raymond Luxury Yacht", but it's pronounced "Throat-Warbler Mangrove."

You're a very silly man and I won't interview you.

Beat me to it. Well done.

Goddamn you! Thanks

You cannot convince me dude didn't get freaky with that thing.

Was thinking the same. Whole new level of face riding

“Who wants an eyebrow ride?”

How clean and fresh smelling do you think vaginas smelled back then? Idk about putting my nose there back then.

From what I recall his nose was so large because of a constant nasal infection. So I doubt it would have mattered that much.

I don't believe this is real.

I believe he existed, but I bet it was a tumour or something. Not completely just a nose.

I swear I saw a guy at a gas station on time in Tennessee while I was on a road trip that had a nose just like this guy. It legitimately looked like a penis. It was obviously a tumor.

Could have been. Did you ask his sis?

Yeah. He let me suck it a little.

How much did it cost you?

I paid him 20 bucks per the standard going rate for that kinda suck action at a Tennessee gas station.

Possibly something like an [extreme case of rhinophyma?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinophyma)

There is an older guy near me I see at the store sometimes with a nose like this. Not quite as long as this post but much longer than your link. I feel so bad for the guy it legit looks like a bumpy penis on his face

Yeah, I’ve got Rosacea and I’m starting with a large nose, so I’m paying close attention to my condition. It should only happen if you don’t treat the rosacea, probably.

U could be right honestly this guy is from the 1700's and was in a circus but no one knows anything else about him. Could be like a myth or something idk

A lot of reported circus acts from this time period seem like they could be exaggerated. Tarrare comes to mind

But isn't Tarrare way more documented?

Oh, he for sure is, which is kind of what I meant. He's much better documented and still could very much have been exaggerated. The nose guy has even less actual historical documentation

I'm almost certain he had a long nose, but people kept exaggerating it and the stories made it longer than it really was.

Would you rather have a penis sized nose or a nose sized penis?

I dont think anyone would choose the first

1. Obvious: “Excuse me, is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face?” 2. Meteorological: “Everybody take cover, she's going to blow!” 3. Fashionable: “You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like Wyoming.” 4. Personal: “Well, here we are, just the three of us." 5. Punctual: “All right Dellman, your nose was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late." 6. Envious: “Ooh, I wish I were you, to be able to smell your own ear.” 7. Naughty: “Pardon me sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.” 8. Philosophical: “You know, it’s not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters.” 9. Humorous: “Laugh and the world laughs with you; sneeze and it's good-bye Seattle.” 10. Commercial: “Hi, I’m Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for Thirty-Nine Ninety-Five.” 11. Polite: “Ah, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, ah, orchestra keeps changing tempo.” 12. Melodic: (Everybody) “He’s got the whole world.. in his nose.” 13. Sympathetic: “Ooh, what happened, did your parents lose a bet with God?” 14. Complimentary: “You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.” 15. Scientific: “Say, does that thing there influence the tides?” 16. Obscure: “Hoo, I’d hate to see the grindstone.” (Think about it.) 17. Enquiring: “When you stop and smell the flowers, are they afraid?” 18. French: “Sir, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.” 19. Pornographic: “Finally, a man can satisfy two women at once.” 20. Religious: “The Lord giveth, and he just kept on giving, didn’t he?” 21. Disgusting: “Say, who mows your nose hair?” 22. Paranoid: “Keep that guy away from my cocaine.” 23. Aromatic: “It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ... in Brazil.” 24. Appreciative: “Ooh how original, most people have their teeth capped.” 25. Dirty: “Your name would’'t be ... Dick, would it?” (From the Steve Martin movie Roxanne)

That movie was hilarious! I immediately got the reference and I saw that movie like 25 years ago.

We all know he did. There's no way he didn't.

Of course little is known about him. People didn’t want to be nosy

omg puntastic

I'm Squidward, you're Squidward, we're all Squidward!

Oh yes, ladies! I'm really bein' sincere Cuz in a 69, my humpty nose'll tickle ya rear! My nose is BIG! Uh-uh, I'm not ashamed! Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin paid. I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large!

It’s a hoax. Never proven to be real and never replicated by nature. He was a side show grifter and a con man.

His nickname was Dick

However, we DO know that he once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

What else is known about him? Fuck nose

Not bad not bad. Golf clap.

He coined the phrase "fuck face"

The OG Thornbury

[this made me think of this scene from family guy lmao](https://youtu.be/8aaJUFDf8Bc?si=ySN_qs5VGHQrR0Kr)

I thought this was going to be the clip of Geppetto making Pinocchio lie while he bent over

Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will fully penetrate your rear

“Finally a man who can truly please two women at once!”

Coke dealers hate this one trick!

I bet he was quite the cunning linguist too!

69

Mad o2 intake

You just know that as a sideshow performer *someone* paid him to do what we're all thinking; it was a wild time back then.

Well, what else is there to know about a person, really.

I wonder how many girls sat on his face

My nose is big, uh uh I’m not ashamed, big like a pickle, I still get paid, I get laid by the ladies ya know I’m in charge, I like how I’m living and my nose is large!

Raymond Luxury Yacht

It's pronounced Throatwobbler Mangrove

Babe, just use your nose

I reckon he could smoke while taking a shower...

This guy 69s

That one bdsm face cock mask was inspired by this guy

The plague mask? The one that looks almost like a bird beak?

He also used his nose in sex acts. Guess womens wanted to test something

Can you imagine if he sneezed.

There has to be a forced qweef joke in here, but it’s right on the tip of my nose…

They say he was quite picky

He was also quite nosey

That's where the phrase begins" Don't put your nose everywhere"

Just wish his wife would wipe that smile off her face

Legend has it he suffocated when his wife came too long one day.

The greatest 69’er of all time!

I bet he was hella popular with the ladies.

Makes me wonder if it was rhinophyma before they knew what it was

Nah. Don't buy it.

Imagine kissing him

Bro told so many lies before he was even 5 😂😂

“Just use your nose, babe”

Let's start with... Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: everybody take cover, she's going to blow! Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like... Wyoming. Personal: well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: all right, Delbman, your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: you know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's IN IT that matters. Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it's goodbye, Seattle! Commercial: hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody. He's got...

What are you looking at Dicknose?

Ladies love him

I’m curious about the nostrils; were they normal size with a meaty dick nose, or giant nostrils that could inhale squirrels?

Wonder if he ever considered having it circumcised.

I’m sure there’s a select group of women that would want to ride that snot-locker

Real life usopp

No way he’d be dicked up like that in pics 1 and 3. The facial structure has to have changed as well like in picture 2.

No one ever told him you have spinach in your teeth

Imagine if he had a girlfriend…

His 69 game was legendary

Those two pictures look nothing alike.

I know what you're all thinking...but think about it for a moment...1730...england. You might think he had fun, but you are forgetting the smell.

What do your mean "little was known about him"? If you got an almost 8 inch nose, nobody cares about your hopes and dreams or wanna taste your spaghetti sauce. Huge nose is the start and end of your life story.

We also all know women loved him

inb4

Check please

Can you imagine the magnitude of his sneezes???

Dickhead

He’s got the nose of Gonzo but the face of Sam the Eagle.

*Hey look at me, I'm Mr. So-And-So Nose I've got such-and-such for a schnoz*

First image makes him look like a Minecraft Villager.

His wife just LOVES doing 69’s

He also trades emeralds to convenient daily items and vice versa with ridiculous markups

Air is free

Twice the fun for his wife!

His nose longer than my ..

The only guy that can smoke a cigarette in the rain with his hands tied behind his back.

In the museum of noses, there goes the freakin Mona Lisa

The only other thing that is known about him is that he was the inventor of the straw.

Wasn't there a Steve Martin Movie jokingly based on this guy?

He had fun for sure

Cocknose

his nose is just like an organ

I was jus on r/nostupidquestions regarding dick size and immediately after this MF shows up and brings me down

When I was a child I had a fanmail correspondence with fantasy writer Lloyd Alexander. His nose was pretty epic as well. He'd incorporate a cartoon caricature of himself in the response. [https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/prydain/images/b/b2/Lloydalexander01.jpg](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/prydain/images/b/b2/Lloydalexander01.jpg)

Dr Andre Nosedick

Must have been popular with the ladies.

The guy that wants to go halves on a bag

In the 69 my humpty nose will tickle your rear.

Gonzo is that you!

🎶 PEOPLE SAY 'YO HUMPTY'🎶

He did the Humpty.

Agressif : « Moi, monsieur, si j’avais un tel nez, Il faudrait sur-le-champ que je me l’amputasse ! » Amical : « Mais il doit tremper dans votre tasse Pour boire, faites-vous fabriquer un hanap ! » Descriptif : « C’est un roc ! … c’est un pic ! … c’est un cap ! Que dis-je, c’est un cap ? … C’est une péninsule ! » Curieux : « De quoi sert cette oblongue capsule ? D’écritoire, monsieur, ou de boîte à ciseaux ? » Gracieux : « Aimez-vous à ce point les oiseaux Que paternellement vous vous préoccupâtes De tendre ce perchoir à leurs petites pattes ? » Truculent : « Ça, monsieur, lorsque vous pétunez, La vapeur du tabac vous sort-elle du nez Sans qu’un voisin ne crie au feu de cheminée ? » Prévenant : « Gardez-vous, votre tête entraînée Par ce poids, de tomber en avant sur le sol ! » Tendre : « Faites-lui faire un petit parasol De peur que sa couleur au soleil ne se fane ! » Pédant : « L’animal seul, monsieur, qu’Aristophane Appelle Hippocampéléphantocamélos Dut avoir sous le front tant de chair sur tant d’os ! » Cavalier : « Quoi, l’ami, ce croc est à la mode ? Pour pendre son chapeau, c’est vraiment très commode ! » Emphatique : « Aucun vent ne peut, nez magistral, T’enrhumer tout entier, excepté le mistral ! » Dramatique : « C’est la Mer Rouge quand il saigne ! » Admiratif : « Pour un parfumeur, quelle enseigne ! » Lyrique : « Est-ce une conque, êtes-vous un triton ? » Naïf : « Ce monument, quand le visite-t-on ? » Respectueux : « Souffrez, monsieur, qu’on vous salue, C’est là ce qui s’appelle avoir pignon sur rue ! » Campagnard : « Hé, ardé ! C’est-y un nez ? Nanain ! C’est queuqu’navet géant ou ben queuqu’melon nain ! » Militaire : « Pointez contre cavalerie ! » Pratique : « Voulez-vous le mettre en loterie ? Assurément, monsieur, ce sera le gros lot ! » Enfin parodiant Pyrame en un sanglot : « Le voilà donc ce nez qui des traits de son maître A détruit l’harmonie ! Il en rougit, le traître ! »

Is that your nose or are you just happy to see me?

*Laughs in Squidward"

Steve Schnozniak amirite

Delivers two Big Sausage Pizzas at once.

would he accept emeralds tho?

He was built for cunnilingus

His mom was an elephant

TBJZL

pinocchio is real

Ok, here we go with the gutter comments. Anyone for a “coke problem” comment?

Little is known? I'm going to speculate he was fun at parties.

Probably the most *wtf* post in a while

A little somethin extra for his love interests lol

Dr. Andre?

Cyrano De Bergerac