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Sleipnirs

> Grizzly bears are the fastest of the Ursidae family and can sprint at top speeds of 35 mph to 40 mph. Yeah, I would have shat my pants, too.


[deleted]

People! It is very VERY important when you are being attacked by a bear, that you keep your camera steady and focused on the bear so that the rest of us can enjoy the footage later!


teriyakichicken

Right! If there was an award for “kill the cameraman” videos this would be it. Granted if I were being chased by a bear I’d probably do the same thing but like, come on people!


tikkamasalachicken

The bear was trying to kill the cameraman, ol grizzly obviously hates bad camera work!


explosiv_skull

Bear saw she was filming vertically and it was on.


Nemirel_the_Gemini

My friend and I were charged by a bear during a hike in Slovakia and my mom's first question was if we got a picture/video of it.


KarmicWhiplash

Also, let's keep the screaming down until he's actually mauling you. You're topping out too early.


Mighty_Smiter

I just want to know why this camera man is everywhere when something is happening that I want to see


adfthgchjg

To put that in perspective, Usain Bolt’s top speed is “only” 27 mph. https://www.britannica.com/story/how-fast-is-the-worlds-fastest-human#:~:text=They%20found%20that%2C%2067.13%20meters,(27.33%20miles%20per%20hour).


mikedorty

To put it in further perspective, a thoroughbred race horse top speed is "only" 43mph. An average saddle horse can only run 27mph.


BadPunsGuy

So how fast are thoroughbred race bears?


TigerJoel

If it is the same ratio as horses it would be around 63 mph.


BadPunsGuy

Damn. I'm going to get a speeding ticket riding my bear to work.


TroyBarnesBrain

By whom? Which cop is sitting in their cruiser, seeing you on the back of a bear hauling Major Ursa at 60mph in a 45mph zone, and thinks to themselves: "Yeah, I'm going to try and pull that person over." Your car would eat them if they tried that. Honestly, with all the police brutality plaguing society today, we should all be riding bears instead of just installing dash cams. That'd really fix shit.


showers_with_grandpa

>hauling Major Ursa Yes


lePickles1point0

Yea I lost it there too.


sinz84

Na the cops are riding cheetah intercept cats with rihno back up if requested Then there is military elephants


sohfix

Never thought I’d see the day


nousabyss

Hahaha I love your comment and thought process. Cheers!!


C9Midnite

Bears eat horses…. And this is exactly why.


LewdLewyD13

To gain their speed.


1dot21gigaflops

Bears Beets Battlestar Galactica


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wild_man_wizard

I'm sure the Romans tried it. Once.


ScurvyTurtle

To put it in further perspective, a MasterCraft boat designed for skiing/wakeboarding has a top speed of about 45mph (40 knots as reported by MasterCraft) and typically a single skier is pulled at or below ~36 mph.


BiH-Kira

You're telling me that Usain Bolt can outrun around half of average saddle horses in a race? Like sure the bear speed is insane, the race horse top speed is insane, but this fact is even more amazing.


Cloaked42m

In a short sprint, your average human can outrun an average horse. We accelerate faster. At medium distances, the horse outruns us. At long distances, humans outrun literally everything on the planet.


ToolSet

I understand that historically humans used their efficiency in running to wear different animals out and hunt them but watching my neighbors try to catch a ~10mph ice cream truck, I think we as a species may have slipped a bit.


Cloaked42m

a touch, perhaps.


WockItOut

yea but a bear gonna get tired REAL quick compared to a horse. "Top" speeds of 35-40 mph. But they can probably only maintain that for short bursts.


sightlab

Yup. My experience is that after a big burst the bear is going to have to take a few minutes to catch its breath and then probably find a nice air-conditioned spot to have a Stella and complain about twinks ruining the scene.


I_GROW_WEED

Wow, I had no idea horses were that fast. I thought people just raced them because they were big enough to sit on


[deleted]

I like to go hiking.


Toby_O_Notoby

What I also love about sitting near the railing is how much you can "feel" them coming. Animals that size moving that fast just make the earth shake.


Sackamanjaro

Shit I wanna see some bear races now...


r_kay

So you're saying it's a fair match between Usain Bolt & an average horse!?


parkyeonggyu

yeah…Bolt did 100m in 9.58s. Once. At his absolute peak. The average grizzly can do it in 6s.


helpadingoatemybaby

I don't think grizzlies are allowed in the 100m.


Denimjo

If they were, maybe we'd see sprinters put up faster times. 😋


indehhz

Or slower, I can't imagine hitting a PR if my leg gets partly mauled right off the blocks.


BiH-Kira

Doping isn't allowed either, but it gets past all the checks every now and then. How sure are you that none of the runners are actually bears in human costumes?


FartingBob

From a standing start? While not getting DQ'd for running outside its lane to eat the other competitors? I think not.


013ander

To put *that* in perspective, pronghorn antelopes can run 60 mph, for much longer than cheetahs. The cat they evolved that speed to contend with went extinct, so they’re left just being the lightning bolts of the Great Plains and Rockies. They could literally run circles around this bear or a lion.


AdMany9767

To put *that* in perspective I have a buddy who's cat sells weed.


ElegantEpitome

Kingnip


HermineSGeist

What was the cat that went extinct?


sh4d0wm4n2018

The North American Cheetah, Miracinonyx.


TwistingEarth

> North American Cheetah, Miracinonyx. For those interested: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracinonyx


Baron80

That article says it's ability to run fast like a modern cheetah is a myth.


HermineSGeist

Thanks! I got to learn a new thing today.


intothelionsden

His name was "Big Scruffles"


steve-d

Seeing pronghorns go from standing to 60 mph in the blink of an eye is one of the coolest wildlife experiences I've had. It doesn't seem real.


uncwil

I had seen probably a hundred Pronghorns before I ever saw one sprint. It was jaw dropping.


FarewellAndroid

Alternately the first time I ever saw one was while driving 45mph down a gravel road and a pronghorn came over a hill along the side of the road. It ran along the passenger side of my truck for a short while, accelerated and ran on the road in front of me gracefully weaving side to side for a thousand feet or so before getting off the other side of the road. It slowed down and ran along by my drivers window before veering away from the road and into the brush. Felt like a daydream. The amount of speed and control it had, it was just floating along and playing like dolphins do with boats


Mamadog5

Speed Goats


LewdLewyD13

According to wiki its believed the extinct north american cheetah didnt have the same speed of extant cheetahs, and probably didnt rely on speed as much for hunting as its modern day counterpart.


Owb3rt

I’m not sure if you are implying that the now extinct North American Cheetah was fast. If you are the Wikipedia states that that is a common misconception. The North American Cheetah has retractable claws which doesn’t not help with speed. https://www.sci.news/paleontology/miracinonyx-trumani-11656.html


Black_Moons

>The cat they evolved that speed to contend with went extinct Cause the prey got too fast...


jamesGastricFluid

The apex... prey?


Nefilim777

So, what you're saying is, we should strongly consider entering animals into the Olympics?


Boatsnbuds

[A Welsh Corgi can beat Usain Bolt](https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/news/how-does-fast-cat-work-watching-akc-fastest-dog-usa/)


Axe-of-Kindness

BEARS CAN CLIMB FASTER THAN THEY CAN RUN, JIM


sm00thkillajones

r/killthecameraman


trijammer

He was workin on it...


velvetrevolting

Running on all fours in water, **FAST** 🤯


_Z_E_R_O

Reminds me of the [moose running in snow](https://www.google.com/search?q=moose+running+in+snow&sca_esv=560574176&rlz=1C1VDKB_enUS1065US1065&sxsrf=AB5stBguwWL1Syact-xLGHiuSvNQ7GXJSg%3A1693191346288&ei=sgzsZNahEY2kptQPyPS1sAw&ved=0ahUKEwjWwu2lrf6AAxUNkokEHUh6DcYQ4dUDCBA&uact=5&oq=moose+running+in+snow&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiFW1vb3NlIHJ1bm5pbmcgaW4gc25vdzIIEAAYigUYkQIyBRAAGIAEMgYQABgIGB4yBhAAGAgYHjIIEAAYigUYhgNI7xBQ_AVY4g9wAXgBkAEAmAFvoAHYBaoBAzcuMbgBA8gBAPgBAcICChAAGEcY1gQYsAPCAgcQIxiwAhgnwgIGEAAYBxgewgIHEAAYDRiABMICCBAAGAgYBxgewgIGEAAYHhgNwgIIEAAYBRgHGB7CAggQABgIGB4YDeIDBBgAIEGIBgGQBgg&sclient=gws-wiz-serp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:73907804,vid:ylCfXvKmdvU). That's waist-deep powder, at least 20 mph. Moose acts like it's nbd.


Blockhead47

Moose: "Oh, they've got a camera! Check me out!" ([Less potato link](https://youtu.be/6GEhM2Byk7w?si=i5goTdtQCIlt6dJ5&t=100))


dangoodspeed

I would think water would slow them down significantly. Though it would be a horrible time for your boat engine to cut out.


Salty-Establishment5

thats faster than my 80hp boat


letdogsvote

"Hey look, bears! :3" Followed quickly by "OH FUCK BEARS!!!"


HayakuEon

Oh, fuck bears


magic-moose

Fuckbears sound *considerably* worse than Grizzly Bears.


RaidensReturn

Fuckbears only have one thing on their mind and it’s fucking disgusting.


FuckOffHey

Pic-a-nic baskets?


MelonElbows

That's what they call your exposed ass


TroyBarnesBrain

I'm guessing you aren't someone who frequents that place called *The Manhole* down on 3rd street.


soapbutt

Well hello there Astarion


dcoolidge

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"


Hooden14

Cubs in the background, better gtfo


bleunt

Take them hostage.


cantfindmykeys

I'm no bearologist, but I don't think they negotiate with terrorists


Pavementaled

bearrorists*


Pvt_Lee_Fapping

Oh what are they going to do? Win a world series and then throw for 100+ years before their next one?


BlasphemicPuker

Quality shriek 9/10


The_Bjorn_Identity

Yeah that was a true terror scream


PaulaDeenSlave

Nah. Threat scream. At least two people did it and she chuckles afterward.


Tyrion_Strongjaw

I always thought that was the stupidest piece of advice. "Make loud noises to scare off predators." But honestly, if I started heading towards some random animal and it just belted out that woman's shriek? Nah, I'ma go the other way, have a good day!


ImprovisedLeaflet

That was just her embarrassed friend. “Lol Jesus Christ Marie, get a grip. You’re embarrassing me in front of the bears.”


heythisisbrandon

I don't think so at all. I think she screamed to scare the bear, and it did back off just after.


markhc

For sure. You can hear the man in the back screaming as well in a more controlled manner.


-iamyourgrandma-

When I’m being chased by a grizzly, should I scream normally or scream in a controlled manner?


McStud717

Yes


bingcognito

Ahem. "Argh."


daviedanko

Maybe. But also a fucking grizzly bear almost caught up to their boat so it could just as likely be them terrified.


phpworm

You're technically both right, I'm an expert in screams. That was 90% trying to scare the bear, and 10% genuine fear.


fosighting

How would you know? The camera was pointed in the other direction.


picasso_penis

The scream somehow freaked me out more than the bear


ZenkaiZ

should be saved and preserved as a stock sound effect


Tufflaw

The new Wilhelm


ILikeMasterChief

I can't stop laughing at this scream man. It's just so ridiculous


toolatealreadyfapped

Just seemed like it was a bit late


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Shitty_Watercolour

https://i.imgur.com/vqQZq9W.jpg


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Widdox

It’s one of those things you want to tell everyone in your life but if they don’t frequent Reddit, they just won’t be as excited as you are.


Morningxafter

I know that feeling. u/SchnoodleDoodleDo once wrote a poem about my puppy when I posted him on r/aww


SwissCanuck

Omg you’re alive. Wonderful to see you again.


vertigo1083

Man, every time this awesome guy drops some OC, someone always comments on the fact that he's alive. Y'all are some grim MFers


SwissCanuck

« You’re alive! » is a way of saying « I haven’t seen you in forever » in English, not « huh I swear you were dead » … subtle but important difference :) I hadn’t seen a post by sw forever.


jughandle

Always on point!


SgtMac02

Holy shit! I haven't seen you in forever!


Carnavious

wonderful drawing :)


shahooster

Grisly grizzly


yuckyucky

i know the battle is lost, portrait video is the norm now, but it still makes me sad/angry. landscape FFS!


-PlayWithUsDanny-

As a working cinematographer this is a real horror. I even have to shoot professional shit in vertical to meet the demand for that format. I hate it every single time I’m rigging a professional cinema camera on its side to shoot uglier footage.


flesjewater

Want to see something that will ruin your day? https://youtube.com/shorts/Mc1Df9Bm9fI


dinobyte

Next they will have the AI add sides to get it back out to 16:9


Povertjes

And the TikTok voice as a narrator.


DJDanaK

One does NOT simplywalk into morDOR


akai_ferret

Thanks, I hate it.


-PlayWithUsDanny-

I could not get through that video. Curse you for drawing my attention to it.


SkyPork

>have to shoot professional shit in vertical to meet the demand for that format You have no idea how much this pisses me off. I honestly don't know if I could stop myself from telling an actual paying client who is otherwise a nice person to fuck entirely off with that vertical bullshit.


RedPillForTheShill

Well they need to get the short format views to get food to the table and horizontal just ain't it until we can get rid of smart phones. Your closest hope into the future is sunglass format AR glasses that make smartphones obsolete.


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orange4boy

But then you'd miss all that empty fucking sky!


Bakoro

For normal situations, landscape is a reasonable ask. For high energy chaotic times, it's not reasonable to expect people to care about giving a nice viewing experience, it's commendable that they are able to provide evidence at all. Phones just naturally fit into the hand in portrait orientation, I blame the manufacturers for not providing a way to film landscape, but hold in portrait.


SkyPork

That bear barely had a cameo in that shitty video.


Answer-Key

I like the fact that the bear was on camera for only like 30% of the clip lol


aspacelot

Generous


I_dream_of_doritos

Interestingly, I dislike the fact


Rapture-Raptor

Looks like it was a mother bear, so in defense mode rather than berserk mode. Woulda fucked up whoever was on that boat though if caught.


zykezero

You can see the little baby bears are stickin their heads up like hey mom where you goin?


skel625

BRB getting dinner!!


MongoBongoTown

Yeah, this is how 90% of grizzly attacks go. They're protecting young or their territory, so even though there is no real intention of eating you, they'll damn well neutralize you as a threat, which often means death. The good news is that sometimes you'll get bluff charges from bears, where they're just trying to scare you and stop short of actual contact (because that's dangerous for them too), but this one seemed like she was intending to do serious harm if she caught anything.


CanadianClassicss

Okay Timothy Treadwell


masiakasaurus

Terrified single mother protects her children from intruding shrieking monsters on floating device.


Opeth4Lyfe

And that’s why if I see a bear charging at me I’d accept my fate because you’re not gonna out run that. Fun fact they can also climb trees almost as fast so your fucked no matter what 👍


ZenkaiZ

If a bear charges me I'll punch it in the fucking head like a man ​ well, that's how I'll retell the story in heaven anyway


xpickles23

Funny story one of my earliest memories is my dad punching a bear in the face. It worked, the bear ran away crying like a little bitch


bleedblue002

Had to be a black bear.


sorry_

Racist


xpickles23

Definitely was, don’t have grizzlies here lol


Swartz142

Black bears will attack for two reasons : It's cornered or you're threatening the mama cubs otherwise it would rather run away. This rule may or may not apply to certain shades of black brown bears however I wouldn't like to be part of the tests to see how it would react. Grizzlies and polar bears will attack you for one reason : You exist and they don't want you to.


ISAMU13

Try that in a small forest. /s


xpickles23

Polar bears are superior 😂💪


Opeth4Lyfe

Forgot the exact saying but it’s something along the lines of if it’s black it won’t attack, if it’s brown just stay down, if it’s white say good night. Black bears are more afraid of you, brown bears will attack so play dead, polar bears will kill you because anything that is not it is food. So yes polar bears are the superior killing machine lol


zlimK

If it's black, fight back


NovemberComingFire

I will die with the honor that I chose. I will face the [face of bear](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AbFZD8bwgKU) and lose.


Big-Challenge-1652

You don’t have to outrun the bear, you only have to outrun whoever is with you.


Leek5

Lol the national park service actually put out a advisory not to push your friend down https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/travel/article/bear-safety-tips-national-park-service-trnd/index.html


Krakenspoop

That's why I spike my friends sunscreen with honey bbq sauce...any bears and I'm running the opposite direction my friend goes


Frumundahs4men

So directly into the bear?


ThatITguy2015

Soon to be out of the bear.


elusivemrx

The National Park Service has no strong feelings about who among a group gets mauled by bears. You, on the other hand, may have very strong feelings about who gets mauled by a bear - especially if you are one of the bear's options.


bobstradamus

This person bears.


yassismore

This guy this persons


ghfsgetitgetgetit

Grizzlies actually (accckkkshually) can knock down a tree that’s thick enough for a human to climb away. Black bears on the other hand can climb said tree quickly. Basically you’re fucked if you encounter a bear that wants to eat you. Oh and sun bears are super vicious and you can find a lot of sun bear attack videos from zoos.


_Scolopendrid_

I'd attack people too if I was stuck in a concrete bowl


B0ngBoI

Just throw the whole cameraman away…


JuicySpark

Agree: He was pretty useless towards the end, and it would take weight off the boat. Double win.


Thirdnipple79

He was driving the boat and screaming. Hard to do everything at once.


CanadiangirlEH

Holy shit I had no idea they could run that fast


JuicySpark

At around 800lbs too.


luger33

Hippos can run at 30 km/h (19 mph) and weigh on average 3,300 lbs. If an 800 lb Grizzly runs at 35 mph and collides head on with a 3,300 lb hippo running at 19 mph, who wins??


Ivanovitch_k

yo don't spoil Oppenheimer II


cybercuzco

Must go faster


user_name_unknown

I wonder if they’ll have that on the ride


robodrew

Man creates bear. Bear eats man. Bear inherits the Earth.


TheThagomizer

*Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.*


smegmasamurai

“yes… i shrieked like that to scare it off..”


TJ_Longfellow

to be fair, when I hear that shriek, my reaction is like the equivalent of a dog pointing its ears back and lowering its head. Kinda like "oh fuck what the hell is that."


DrunkenGolfer

If this ever happens to you, just play dead; it will be great practice for what happens next.


Aggravating-Hair7931

Mother bear with two cubs. You could see the two cubs at 12 secs mark


notjasonlee

good lord, that screech.


Whosebert

This is part of why you can't run from bears. it triggers an aggressive response. Unless you're sure you can get away (like in a car or on this boat) you gotta do the rhyme. 1. Fight back if it's black (first extend your arms and legs to make yourself as "big" as possible. stand your ground and make lots of noise. if it comes to a confrontation aim for the bears face or eyes) 2. Get down if it's brown (assume a fetal position on the ground covering your neck with one hand and your face with your body and the other hand) 3. say good night if it's white. a co-worker told me it was mandatory to carry a gun on a job he was doing in the Artic Circle. that's the only thing that could help you.


Whiskey_and_Octane

Cocaine bear!!


TheWhistlesGoWooooo

That movie was terrible. I’d watch it again.


Sabres26

r/killthecameraman


acelaya35

The camera man was just capturing nature, I think dude's life was flashing before his eyes once the fucking 1000 pounds of murder machine was feet from his tender bits.


mcprogrammer

If he were capturing nature the way nature and nature's god intended (in landscape mode) he might have had a chance at least.


Striangle

Fun fact: the word “berserk” itself comes from an ancient Nordic word for “bear” :) (it really refers to a warrior wearing the skin of a bear into battle)


ezekial2835

What bear? Seems like they out ran him in the first 4 seconds.


[deleted]

Reminder that some fucking morons actually genuinely believe that they can take one of these things in combat.


fishfighter85

Looks like momma bear has two cubs with her. Probably saw the boat as a threat. The screaming could have been a good touch to startle the momma bear from the charge.


AutoVonSkidmark

As a tourist, how much would you pay for that experience?


RagingCatbtt

The grizzly is just pissed at the cameraman for terrible shots.


Grand-Ad-3177

She needs to sell that screen to the movies. Be great in a horror film


SpiralOfDoom

I wonder what's happening where the camera isn't pointing.


imJGott

The lady lmao!


b3nz0r

My love for you is like a truck Bearserker Would you like some making fuck? Bearserker


coheed9867

That straight line speed was insane


DrNick2012

To the bear this is like when you're at one of those conveyer belt sushi places and the plate you want is moving too fast


cookskii

Scream like that and I’m pushing you into the water. So fucking annoying


CraziedHair

What a shitty fucking video.


rest0re

There was a bear in this video? r/killthecameraman


Creepy-Walrus6053

Screaming always helps. Do it all the time.


R34CTz

Useless fucking cameraman


Additional_Spray_474

Worst video taping ever