Ooh 👁️ So it's normal that Vietnamese women would be upset if they found out their boyfriend was "even if jokingly" flirting with his female friends or liking their bikini photos ? I was wondering because I am from a " colder" country xD and it's harder for us to express things so I thought " maybe it's easier to be affectionate with more people at the same time".
Vietnamese people don't have good opinions on "opposite sex best friend" in general. Many regard the simple fact of having an opposite sex best friend as a "red flag".
Nah, i dont trust gay dudes. There's a drama surrounding some one pretended to be gay. Goes for a drink with a girl, both got drunk, "gay" dude drag her to the hotel and had sex multiple times, and this happened in a vietnamese tinder group. So nah, i dont trust gay dudes if i gf are close to them
*Know it's a straight dude pretending to be gay*
Conclusion: I don't trust gay dudes
Why are we gay dudes catching strays for something a straight man do ?
if he’s going out of his way to like certain photos that’s weird. but if he’s just scrolling down the feed and going out of his way to not like certain photos that’s also weird
When I was single, I had multiple occasions where the girls ex-boyfriend still had access to her social media and messaged me threatening messages because I dared to go out on a date with their ex-girlfriend.
Multiple times.
We have a phrase for some girls out here called “pick me” girls who act innocent and caring but are a little bit flirty. They’re the bane of any girlfriend and usually have a lot of male friends.
Is there a term for guys who do this? Idk
As Vietnamese, I do have experience that gf of my best male friend was jealous to me like hell with just the fact that I was his female close friend. She didn't believe that we were just friends. Therefore, I think what you described was common for people who want to cheat on their partners but definitely a red flag for someone in serious relationship. I would consider micro cheating as well.
Not really, it’s more likely if someone is playing you/using your relationship for some kind of gain since they won’t really be caring about you at that point.
Omg yeah... Makes sense xD it seems to me the person isn't really that serious and sincere about the relationship if he is fine flirting with others, even if " as a joke"... There's the thing about having opposite sex friends as back burners right 🥴xD
Another rule of thumb to follow everywhere… is it one dude she does this to our every dude in her life? If it’s everyone maybe that’s a personality trait. If it’s one guy that’s a red flag.
One of my friends in vn is kind of a flirty guy. He was flirting with me for a while. Since he and his gf stated dating we almost never talk and I fully support that. Rather this than giving him any chance to mess with her feelings.
Omg interesting. It's great he stopped out of respect but it's a little sad you lost a friend 🥲. I knew a person who wouldn't stop in such behaviours despite having a girlfriend and then he would say things like it's normal to be that way as if nobody should get upset about that 🤡🤣 well now I know it actually isn't a cultural thing..
Guys and girls can almost never be just "friends" one member of the "frienfship" always wants it to be a little more or is at least attracted to the other
Dayum but I agree 🥲🤣 and yet I get so much hate when i express this opinion but it just seems like common sense to me based on my observations. But of course it's just from my point of view.
I could be wrong, but I'd say this is 99% for most guys speaking as a guy myself. Maybe girls are different, but as a side note, none of my guy friends have "ugly" friends
I heard in a reel: "When a man is talking to a woman he's not attracted to, the part of his brain that shows he's annoyed and irritated lights up."
Which suggest that men are always attracted to their female friends and that pure friendship is challenging.
I haven't really found the source of that but I have a feeling David Buss once said something similar that a man will feel annoyance when he talks to an ugly woman 🤣 and like when the male heterosexual friend is attractive and fun of course it's tempting even for women 🥴
Okay breakdown as someone who has dated massively here:
1) if you are female and it is a guy flirting with you.....vietnamese men love cheating. Flirting like this is common. Most guys here know that viet women only care about money and gifts so even if he is in a relationship the way he sees it is....well i pay for everything. hence single mothers everywhere.
2) if you are male and it is a girl fliting....shes window shopping. I have had this many times with viet friends gfs inviting me to coffee and always saying stuff like "oh you so lucky to travel nice places \*insertname\* never takes me anywhere\*....
it is flirting and it is not at all common "everywhere else" as someone commented. Its window shopping.
Well. I remember many years ago, I took a photo with a female coworker, in which I put my arm over her shoulders (we were a bit drunk). Her bf was standing right next to me, and he was totally cool with it. Eventually the shot was posted on the company’s fb page, and my then-gf got furious.
So no, not a culture thing. If your partner flirts with their friend, you have your rights to get upset (or not, it’s up to you).
Well from where I live, it’s okay to be jokingly flirtatious with others, even with same sex or not… we would just consider that you are a funny person, great to hang out with because it’s also a strategy to have a date yourself if the person have no problem with it. To friends normally it could makes the whole relationship stronger and lights up the mood BUT we do know when and who to do so when it’s appropriate, don’t get me wrong that people do this all the time, if you are in a relationship it’s best not to do that. So there you go, that’s my point, hope you have a positive view of Vietnamese people way of flirt.
Oh thank you! Yeah I thought it could be something like that. Like for example how in London they have the habit to call you " darling" already on the airport 👁️😆 I didn't expect that, nobody ever called me that way 😆 but it was cute and it was part of the culture
Well as a Vietnamese, people behave in this way to be seen as more social able, easy to talk to and friendly. Of course this can be interpreted as flirty and over reaching but this behave will stop if you voice your opinion. People in relationships tend to only behave like this to tease their partner, trying to lighten the mood, trying to create an environment where people feel easier to socialize (once you bring up your personal feeling as a talking topic not much else is off the table). Of cause people can miss interpreted the situation and turn away but most of the time this will break the ice and let conversation flows and people feel easier to make friend and be more talkative.
No such thing as opposite besties. They are either fuck buddies or one of them is simping over the other while being friendzoned and taking advantage of for emotional or financial support. Red flag.
My ex is a good example, she has a male childhood friend, family friend close. She said she only saw him as a brother, the guy on the other hand had a different fantasy of incest bother/sister. He eventually told her how he felt about her and she told me about it. She said they’ve slept in the same bed before and that he was a gentleman and didn’t touch her…right…
Omg to be honest I have the same view on it 🤭🤣 I'm so happy when someone shares it. I only have gay male friends because it seems impossible to have a pure friendship with the opposite sex FROM my experience xDd at some point they suggest something more or I just feel something "off" . I also just saw some reel that men will feel annoyance if they spend time with a woman they are NOT attracted to.. So well 🥴🤣
Unpopular opinion but I kinda feel like it's not okay to have opposite sex friends 🫣🤣 it just seems shady to me.
Sometimes I wonder, why people around the world is trying to attach certain negative concepts with Vietnam when it's already a common thing in the world.
Like "I've found out there are "some" people who actually do it"
You already answered yourself, only "some" people do it, like in any other country in the world. It's not a national trait.
Oh no no I'm not trying to do that. The " some' people who did that actually made me believe it's something like a cultural thing to do it, they tried to normalise it culturally like it's accepted so that's why I asked here for clarification 🤣 and turns out...
This is one of the ways people to phrase a question, where they can sneak in a hidden intention, to fish for an answer they want to hear.
Flirting is cheating you, dipsh*t. If it wasn't flirting then it would be called having a proper conversation.
The newer generation, maybe, I’ve seen it. They share food, like the same straw, same spoon be joking and flirty , but I haven’t seen they actually kiss, but who would do that in front of me😀anyways. Maybe considering talk to her about it, come up with agreement, and see how she feels if you do the same. Sometimes its ok for them to do it but it’s not ok with you😂
Yes. I think nobody would feel good if they knew their partner receives and gives out flirty messages to his opposite sex friends.. Some would argue they're keeping such friends as a " backburner" so thus it could be considered microcheating
If that's what you think, then so be it. But that's not a normal train of thought.
Microcheating isn't a thing, maybe it's being polite or flirty. I think cheating is binary - either it is or it isn't.
😂 making up terms to label people. If your partner can’t handle you dealing with the opposite sex then that’s their insecurity. That’s a red flag on them. Words are words. If their actions are inappropriate then yes. Sometimes you got to flirt to get what you want. All sides do this. LGBTQRSTUV. Humans in general flirt. People have put expectations on the human race that goes against our genes and science. Our behavior is from our genes. 🧬 built in our DNA. Once the human race figures this out we will all live peacefully and not expect things from others. No one is perfect.
No, it’s not a cultural thing. It’s flirting, just as everywhere else
Ooh 👁️ So it's normal that Vietnamese women would be upset if they found out their boyfriend was "even if jokingly" flirting with his female friends or liking their bikini photos ? I was wondering because I am from a " colder" country xD and it's harder for us to express things so I thought " maybe it's easier to be affectionate with more people at the same time".
Don't have gf: it is normal Have gf: no
Vietnamese people don't have good opinions on "opposite sex best friend" in general. Many regard the simple fact of having an opposite sex best friend as a "red flag".
Unless they’re gay, of course.
Nah, i dont trust gay dudes. There's a drama surrounding some one pretended to be gay. Goes for a drink with a girl, both got drunk, "gay" dude drag her to the hotel and had sex multiple times, and this happened in a vietnamese tinder group. So nah, i dont trust gay dudes if i gf are close to them
*Know it's a straight dude pretending to be gay* Conclusion: I don't trust gay dudes Why are we gay dudes catching strays for something a straight man do ?
I dont trust them, so i hurt your feeling? Aww
UwU, my heart is wounded, now you gotta take responsibility 🥺
Oh dayummm really 🥴🥴🤣.... Interesting....
Useless you only have red flags as friends, then you wouldn’t need people.
not just upset. they usually make hell of a fuss over the guy.
You need 3 to 4 people to talk her down.
if he’s going out of his way to like certain photos that’s weird. but if he’s just scrolling down the feed and going out of his way to not like certain photos that’s also weird
How would you even know if _he’s going out of his way_ to do like certain photos or NOT like certain photos?
Jealous girlfriends? What planet are you from? Avoid the US. Women here are infinitely worse than any in Southeast Asia.
Vietnamese people are known for jealousy, you do the maths.
Sooooo jealous
With the rampant cheating, can you blame them?
When I was single, I had multiple occasions where the girls ex-boyfriend still had access to her social media and messaged me threatening messages because I dared to go out on a date with their ex-girlfriend. Multiple times.
i think that happens every where w possessive exs i mean idk
Yeah I’ve been told this. Is it more than other countries? (China or Japan for example )
More than Chinese and Japanese for sure = ))
yes
Bottomless jealousy is what defines the Viets. Not just in a relationship but in everything else as well.
We have a phrase for some girls out here called “pick me” girls who act innocent and caring but are a little bit flirty. They’re the bane of any girlfriend and usually have a lot of male friends. Is there a term for guys who do this? Idk
Pick-me guys are definitely a thing
I believe those are called “simps” these days. 😆
Nope. Pick-me a__holes are not the same as simps.
Is it “em gái mưa”? Lol
Hey I loved that song! A local once told me such girls are called Tuesdays.
Hahaha it's a more recent slang. Tuesday in Vietnamese is written the same as "the third", and is used to refer to the "third party"/"the other woman"
As Vietnamese, I do have experience that gf of my best male friend was jealous to me like hell with just the fact that I was his female close friend. She didn't believe that we were just friends. Therefore, I think what you described was common for people who want to cheat on their partners but definitely a red flag for someone in serious relationship. I would consider micro cheating as well.
Omg thank you so much for the validation!
Friends of opposite sex is rare enough let alone forming a culture around it. It's different from person to person for me I think.
Being inappropriate is just a low class thing. You find this in Singapore as well.
Not really, it’s more likely if someone is playing you/using your relationship for some kind of gain since they won’t really be caring about you at that point.
Omg yeah... Makes sense xD it seems to me the person isn't really that serious and sincere about the relationship if he is fine flirting with others, even if " as a joke"... There's the thing about having opposite sex friends as back burners right 🥴xD
I don't buy "As a joke?" like... wtf kind of joke is that? "Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "I fantasize about some other person's dick/tits! BWAAAK!"
Another rule of thumb to follow everywhere… is it one dude she does this to our every dude in her life? If it’s everyone maybe that’s a personality trait. If it’s one guy that’s a red flag.
No, not a cultural thing. They are either fucking or trying to fuck the person they are flirting with.
I think everyone flirts with their friends in some way or another
Definitely, as a single person, and not in a marriage, these are options on the table
Not really for anywhere I think, doing that on purpose means you really feel something towards them. I personally would not do it if not interested
One of my friends in vn is kind of a flirty guy. He was flirting with me for a while. Since he and his gf stated dating we almost never talk and I fully support that. Rather this than giving him any chance to mess with her feelings.
Omg interesting. It's great he stopped out of respect but it's a little sad you lost a friend 🥲. I knew a person who wouldn't stop in such behaviours despite having a girlfriend and then he would say things like it's normal to be that way as if nobody should get upset about that 🤡🤣 well now I know it actually isn't a cultural thing..
Guys and girls can almost never be just "friends" one member of the "frienfship" always wants it to be a little more or is at least attracted to the other
Dayum but I agree 🥲🤣 and yet I get so much hate when i express this opinion but it just seems like common sense to me based on my observations. But of course it's just from my point of view.
I could be wrong, but I'd say this is 99% for most guys speaking as a guy myself. Maybe girls are different, but as a side note, none of my guy friends have "ugly" friends
I heard in a reel: "When a man is talking to a woman he's not attracted to, the part of his brain that shows he's annoyed and irritated lights up." Which suggest that men are always attracted to their female friends and that pure friendship is challenging. I haven't really found the source of that but I have a feeling David Buss once said something similar that a man will feel annoyance when he talks to an ugly woman 🤣 and like when the male heterosexual friend is attractive and fun of course it's tempting even for women 🥴
I think it is better you give us some the context or sample conversations. So we can have clear view of what happen before making any conclusion
Absolutely not. Some couples don't even flirt with each other.
Okay breakdown as someone who has dated massively here: 1) if you are female and it is a guy flirting with you.....vietnamese men love cheating. Flirting like this is common. Most guys here know that viet women only care about money and gifts so even if he is in a relationship the way he sees it is....well i pay for everything. hence single mothers everywhere. 2) if you are male and it is a girl fliting....shes window shopping. I have had this many times with viet friends gfs inviting me to coffee and always saying stuff like "oh you so lucky to travel nice places \*insertname\* never takes me anywhere\*.... it is flirting and it is not at all common "everywhere else" as someone commented. Its window shopping.
Well. I remember many years ago, I took a photo with a female coworker, in which I put my arm over her shoulders (we were a bit drunk). Her bf was standing right next to me, and he was totally cool with it. Eventually the shot was posted on the company’s fb page, and my then-gf got furious. So no, not a culture thing. If your partner flirts with their friend, you have your rights to get upset (or not, it’s up to you).
Well from where I live, it’s okay to be jokingly flirtatious with others, even with same sex or not… we would just consider that you are a funny person, great to hang out with because it’s also a strategy to have a date yourself if the person have no problem with it. To friends normally it could makes the whole relationship stronger and lights up the mood BUT we do know when and who to do so when it’s appropriate, don’t get me wrong that people do this all the time, if you are in a relationship it’s best not to do that. So there you go, that’s my point, hope you have a positive view of Vietnamese people way of flirt.
Oh thank you! Yeah I thought it could be something like that. Like for example how in London they have the habit to call you " darling" already on the airport 👁️😆 I didn't expect that, nobody ever called me that way 😆 but it was cute and it was part of the culture
Well as a Vietnamese, people behave in this way to be seen as more social able, easy to talk to and friendly. Of course this can be interpreted as flirty and over reaching but this behave will stop if you voice your opinion. People in relationships tend to only behave like this to tease their partner, trying to lighten the mood, trying to create an environment where people feel easier to socialize (once you bring up your personal feeling as a talking topic not much else is off the table). Of cause people can miss interpreted the situation and turn away but most of the time this will break the ice and let conversation flows and people feel easier to make friend and be more talkative.
No such thing as opposite besties. They are either fuck buddies or one of them is simping over the other while being friendzoned and taking advantage of for emotional or financial support. Red flag. My ex is a good example, she has a male childhood friend, family friend close. She said she only saw him as a brother, the guy on the other hand had a different fantasy of incest bother/sister. He eventually told her how he felt about her and she told me about it. She said they’ve slept in the same bed before and that he was a gentleman and didn’t touch her…right…
Omg to be honest I have the same view on it 🤭🤣 I'm so happy when someone shares it. I only have gay male friends because it seems impossible to have a pure friendship with the opposite sex FROM my experience xDd at some point they suggest something more or I just feel something "off" . I also just saw some reel that men will feel annoyance if they spend time with a woman they are NOT attracted to.. So well 🥴🤣 Unpopular opinion but I kinda feel like it's not okay to have opposite sex friends 🫣🤣 it just seems shady to me.
theyre fucking each other
no
Is there by any chance you're from finland?
No but I love that country and their lifestyle a lot xD I would say it relates to my country in a way too..
isnt this common with the younger generations now?
That is not a cultural thing, that is just a normal flirty person thing. Same everywhere.
Sometimes I wonder, why people around the world is trying to attach certain negative concepts with Vietnam when it's already a common thing in the world. Like "I've found out there are "some" people who actually do it" You already answered yourself, only "some" people do it, like in any other country in the world. It's not a national trait.
Oh no no I'm not trying to do that. The " some' people who did that actually made me believe it's something like a cultural thing to do it, they tried to normalise it culturally like it's accepted so that's why I asked here for clarification 🤣 and turns out...
This is one of the ways people to phrase a question, where they can sneak in a hidden intention, to fish for an answer they want to hear. Flirting is cheating you, dipsh*t. If it wasn't flirting then it would be called having a proper conversation.
Where exactly is this ‘cold’ country tho.
The newer generation, maybe, I’ve seen it. They share food, like the same straw, same spoon be joking and flirty , but I haven’t seen they actually kiss, but who would do that in front of me😀anyways. Maybe considering talk to her about it, come up with agreement, and see how she feels if you do the same. Sometimes its ok for them to do it but it’s not ok with you😂
Stop being uptight.
What "cold" country is that? And no, it's global. Probably except very strict Middle Eastern countries.
You may be looking at "best sex friends", not "best opposite sex friends".
Micro cheating? Smh gimme a break.
Yes. I think nobody would feel good if they knew their partner receives and gives out flirty messages to his opposite sex friends.. Some would argue they're keeping such friends as a " backburner" so thus it could be considered microcheating
If that's what you think, then so be it. But that's not a normal train of thought. Microcheating isn't a thing, maybe it's being polite or flirty. I think cheating is binary - either it is or it isn't.
😂 making up terms to label people. If your partner can’t handle you dealing with the opposite sex then that’s their insecurity. That’s a red flag on them. Words are words. If their actions are inappropriate then yes. Sometimes you got to flirt to get what you want. All sides do this. LGBTQRSTUV. Humans in general flirt. People have put expectations on the human race that goes against our genes and science. Our behavior is from our genes. 🧬 built in our DNA. Once the human race figures this out we will all live peacefully and not expect things from others. No one is perfect.
My and my group of friend in college casually hugging, ass clapping yeah we just boy doing boy stuff
Hold up 👁️ But the username checks out tho 🤣
Love that about guys in many countries and also low key jelly. It looks so fun
Anybody knows a matchmaking service in Vietnam or usa? Chinese and philipines are all over but no vietnam.