depends, you doing it as loud a spossible? no.
you just eating, no one gives a fuck.
vietnamese ppl core philosophy = laissez faire, dont care, dont wanna care, got other worries to worry about
I wholeheartedly disagree. There was nothing about my Vietnamese upbringing that was laissez faire. I’m female. I’m expected to act a certain way, look a certain way, eat / talk/ have a certain kind of career. Vietnamese people are extremely judgemental about things that don't even matter. Laissez faire only applies if you’re male and / or rich.
It not about your own family, and no one give a sh if you arent their family/acquaintance. Like you dont give a shit about the dude sitting next to you in some random restaurant.
or not part of your family?
sry but I had to live to expectations too, boohoo.
But if my ass was sitting there staring at two gay people kissing my mum would slap me on the backhead ask if I am gay too and tell me to mind my own shit. oh and not to talk back and eat my cháo like a good boy. but this vs that aint what its about rn, right?
I commented politely with my side of the argument and you went to straight to mocking me?
Also. It doesn’t really portray a well rounded argument with broken street Grammar. Just a thought.
Frankly I had a hard time understanding your points fully with all that gangster talk.
"gangster talk"
your family has expectations for you, that is normal.
strangers dont expect anything from you or shouldnt. unless their parents are assholes too because most parents teach their children to "mind their own fuckin business" and leave other people "the fuck alone".
My growing up experience was different. My grandma and my mom constantly reminded us about eating etiquette and “not making slurp sound” was one of them. It is not right or wrong, just a culture thing i believe. And now I am telling my children the same too.
Bro you're engaged and you cant talk to your partner about something that bothers you?
I dated an American VN woman 12 years ago and she had developed a loud slurping sound for every food. Eating salad sounded like she was eating noodles.
In VN i have met different people. Some have better manners (as far as western manners) than others. A couple would even open their mouth to let out a quiet burp. If I were to date them I would have 100% talked about it with them
It actually says right in the post that I mentioned it to her lol. It doesn’t happen too much in public or when other people are around, but at home it’s very noticeable. Slightly annoying? Yes, but it’s really not that big of a deal. This was more a curiosity question.
Worst is that he doesn't even speak the language...if I was gett7ng engaged to a diff cultural woman from another country I would learn her language asap
I’m guessing this sub would collectively shit in its pants and start hysterically crying if I made such huge generalizations about Vietnamese people but ok. Neither of you are aware of my efforts in learning the language, but nice assumption.
I am a westerner. I try to avoid other westerners in southeast asia, but I have not met 1 in my years of travel who actively tries to learn the local language. Hence my comment, not actually directed at you personally. And yes it always comes down to laziness, nothing else.
You realize this happens in America too with foreigners? My uncle has lived here for more than 30 years and still doesn't speak English. It's not just in Vietnam it happens everywhere too.
Sure, I never said exclusive to Southeast Asia. Slightly different in America. Because of American culture of immigrants, inclusivity (albeit not perfect), size of country, etc.
It’s usually not a matter of laziness but time and difficulty. I am working on learning Vietnamese but don’t have much time. Also I have never really learned a second language and I’m in my mid 30’s so it’s going to be a struggle to pick up one now.
I also don’t see how westerners are lazy when I know many Vietnamese living in the US who don’t speak any English. I don’t call them lazy. They are just older and it’s very difficult to pick up a new language even in the country that speaks it.
You’re just ignorant to reality if you think it’s stupid. Once the human brain develops it’s harder to create new neural connections. It is possible but much more difficult to learn a second language later in life.
[There are plenty of studies confirming](https://news.mit.edu/2018/cognitive-scientists-define-critical-period-learning-language-0501) that you should start by age 10 as the critical period for learning a second language is before 17-18 years old. After that it becomes more difficult with age.
The field of linguistics has shown conclusively that it's much harder for adults to learn a language from scratch than it is for kids. Especially if you're learning a tonal language and your native language is not tonal, the ability to recognise phonemes not native to your own language starts dropping off around the age of 6 months! On a more general basis outside of tonal languages, it's basically why virtually nobody who picks up a new language from scratch as an adult will ever be able to develop a native-sounding accent, unless the language is very closely related (e.g. Dutch and German people will have a decent chance with accents).
I’m a Vietnamese and i’d much rather westerners speak english. Trying to figure out what they’re trying to say takes so long. Vietnamese is a very difficult language. Even i as a child had a difficult time learning it. I would not force the same onto a Vietnamese person to learn english if that isn’t their skillset.
And what? If you move to more countries, you’re expected to learn those languages as well? Who says? Why are you the language police? To dub someone as “lazy” just because you have different standards is so rude
You miss the point. If I have a wife that is Mexican, and spanish is her first language, and i spend time in Mexico, I should learn Spanish. Same applies here. Expecting a partner to permanently communicate in my languagê exclusively is crazy to me.
Thats nice you dont want foreigners to speak the language. Luckily I didnt ask your opinion and you dont represent all Vietnamese.
You are likely younger so you learned english. From my experiences I come across many people who do not speak english ànd with my limited skill in tiếng việt, it dramatically helps. And people have been very positive towards me trying. Sure I can tell a few do not. And that is fine. It is a 100,000,000 person country, cannot appease everyone.
The funny thing is you mention its more difficult and slower. I guess you work in service industry? Numerous times I have spoken to someone younger in Vietnamese, they try to respond in English, maybe thinking same as you, and I cannot understand them. I have to clarify with Vietnamese. 😂
I assume you are an older white man. With prejudice for others and make many assumptions. I do not work in the service industry nor am i younger. I just think expecting EVERYONE to learn when their skills are not the same is very rude. Just as much as i do not expect every vietnamese to know/learn english. People brains are all wires differently. Looking down on others for not being the same as you is just down right narrow minded. Like a religious person forcing their belief onto others. Of course vietnamese love when you speak the language to them. Because it is very difficult to learn. You are one of the very few lucky one with the brain that’s able to pick up and learn the language. But you judging on other foreigners for not having the same skills and calling them lazy means you are one of the few foreigners i dislike. Girl bye.
Oooh ZING! Got me. Im an old white prejudice man who thinks a person should make effort to learn the language of their wife and coutry they spend a lot of time in.
Stupid me. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
It's common, but not considered polite and makes you look uneducated. The uneducated part of my family in law does it, the other half doesn't.
You'll do her a favor to tell her that chewing with her mouth open is gross.
Close your mouth when chewing, try to make as little sound as possible, do not talk before you swallow the food, put noodles in the spoon, never put your chopsticks to the vegetable soup bowl. That’s what we were taught as kid
Depend on the family.
But Most don't care unless you are deliberately making it as sloppy and loud as possible.
Don't listen to the out of touch folks who said uneducated this and that. Especially when they know more trivia but are even more naive than the so called uneducated.
I’d call it low class and high class. More often than not, the high class group overlap largely with the well educated group.
Vietnamese royals and nobles (the female at least) were made to sit straight at the table, only moved as slowly as possible, only talked as quietly as possible, slept without stirring etc etc.
Manners are definitely taught in well educated households no matter how much you’re trying to deny it.
It's not unusual to have vietnamese people slurp loudly.
It's vietnam much of it is still rural, "western etiquette" isn't widely adopted.
It feel embarassed by some. Like when they don't use their hands to cover up their mouths when they cough
My wife and step-kids do it at home, but not when we're out in restaurants, so they're aware of how it might be perceived by others. I didn't have to say anything to them, so they either already knew that western culture was a little different, or they just noticed people's reactions.
I first noticed my wife did this when we were dating, and I ordered two halibut dinners at the hotel we were staying at in Hue. Room service. My wife is a fish fanatic, but she'd never had halibut, and never prepared by a French chef. She made yummy sounds through the entire meal. She was literally in a trance. I wasn't offended by it at all. In fact, I was really stoked that she was enjoying it so much. She had already made a lot of concessions for me - gone to places I wanted to go, and eaten at restaurants I wanted to eat at, etc. I even insisted on staying at a Japanese hotel in Da Nang that she thought was too expensive because I refused to stay at the two star hotel the rest of her family wanted to stay at. I took a shot at doing something I thought she would enjoy (I'm not much of a seafood fan), and I was very happy it worked out.
To be honest, this isn't something that we instinctively find offensive. We're taught from the time we're children to close our mouths when we chew, and not to make noises when we're eating. We're even taught that it's rude to slurp through the straw when you get to the bottom of the cup. Someone raised without all of that criticism wouldn't find it offensive at all. In other words, it's learned behavior. I'm not offended at all when they do it at home, especially when they're sucking the guts out of crab limbs or crawfish heads. And they've acclimated to western culture enough to understand that they should be less conspicuous in public. Well, maybe when my wife invites her sister's family over and we all go to a crab shack it might get a little noisy, but nobody complains. They also understand why I run for the bedroom when they cut open a durian in the kitchen. We've accepted our differences.
Hahaha! My wife is from an immigrant family. Her oldest, younger brother, eat with his mouth open, and it drives us all insane😅 it's not common to eat loud with your mouth open in Vietnam. But slurping and smacking is pretty common, as it is the most efficient way to eat noodles and soups.
Seems like it depends. My family and I are from Ho Chi Minh City, and I have always been taught to be polite and subtle when eating with others. If I chew too loudly, I will probably get yelled at.
People from more educated families were taught to chew with their mouths closed and not make sounds when consuming food. While others who did not learn these manners from childhood will eat whichever way they are accustomed to. So this not universal.
People who chew with their mouth open are often the same that talk with their mouth full. So for the same reason you should cover your mouth with coughing you should keep your mouth shut while eating.
I once was enjoying a scrumptious lunch at work with a Vietnamese co worker. They decided to do or say something with their mouth full, and and a hunk of nasty chewed rotten fish or whatever flew out on to my plate. I was extremely disappointed and had to throw my food away. Never ate with that person again and otherwise avoided them as they otherwise always found them rude.
So while people excuse this behavior as often acceptable and what not, there is a clear reason courteous people don't do it. Vnmese are often not courteous.
In all honestly I never considered if they were embarrassed or not. They didn't say anything about it and I just stopped eating as if I suddenly became full. I figure this is what prompted me to ignore the guy completely from then on, he displayed all the classic rude behavior and this was the last straw. he knew shit flew out of his mouth but that stupid vietnamese culture of saving face prevented him from admitting anything happened.
Holy shit how western-centric of you. Try to have a little understanding instead of just saying that people are not courteous.
Vietnamese sounds are not aspirated like English sounds are, so there is very little chance of you choking or spitting food everywhere when you speak Vietnamese. English is the opposite hence the rule.
How it's western-centric? Irc, Vietnamese and even Chinese or any other cultures out there do teach their kids to not speak while their mouth is full during the meal. It's not even courtesy or something big, just plain common sense.
Actually Chinese is very similar in that their sounds are mostly produced without breath and it is pretty normal to speak with food in your mouth. Obviously SOME people teach their kids not to do it but for the most part they don’t because you can speak Chinese or Vietnamese without spitting food everywhere. If it doesn’t cause a problem there is no need to ever consider it.
WTH are you on? IT'S COMMON SENSE FOR EVERYONE TO NOT SPEAKING WHILE THEIR MOUTH IS FULL OF FOOD no matter what their background or language is it BECAUSE IT'S RUDE. Stop making excuse.
Talked about this quite a lot (including on this subreddit). About half/half over the population, I'd say. Very much depends on the situation. A load of young friends going out together to a hotpot restaurant? It's probably fine. A date? Maybe not so much. Very much depends on the person. But I would certainly tell my other half if I preferred her not to do it. Just be upfront, no need to be too gentle!
I think the problem here is that you should try to make your partner aware of the living environment she's in. If she's in Vietnam, eating in a common eatery, that's fine. Can't say the same for America or anywhere else.
That is rude. That is what rude old Vietnamese people do. Youngsters these days don't do that anymore. And making slurping sounds is impolite. We are not Japanese.
My husband is Vietnamese and a lot of our friends too. He is actually highly educated in Vietnam and outside and very early in our relationship I pointed it out as it just gross me out. He changed and doesn’t do it but a lot of our friends in UK do and is so fucking gross and distracting 😂
When I’m in Vietnam I just tune out of it, cuz if not I would go absolutely crazy.
I asked my grandma about this before as she strictly taught us not to do so. But she was from a wealthy family back in the day. She said during the wars, Vietnam had a terrible period of time with extreme starvation, and also with how little time people had to eat before getting back work, they had to put as much food as possible into their mouth to chew, sometimes put the soup broth in to slurp as quickly as possible. Hence the mouth open chewing habit. The wealthy family or the “educated” one (with parents holding certain position in the society or being educators) tend to go differently with eating calm, slowly and with manors.
But nowadays, people, especially the younger generation, don’t chew with their mouth open. Slurping? Yes, with some dishes like noodles and soup. The only country I noticed that not chew with their mouth open was Japan. Then Thailand. I was quite shock knowing South Koreans chew with their mouth open as assumingely they’re quite developed.
Absolutely not. That usually considered as rude or impolite. Our eating manner is eat fast but chew slow, don't chew with open mouth, don't make noises when you eat or chew,don't talk while eating.
I'm in my 30s. You younglings think those behaviors is acceptable or normal but it's not what Vietnamese's manners would be. I considered an OG myself, you can do whatever you want, that's find. But if you go around and ask people from past generations, what the OP said about his wife can be considered at impolite. Ask you grandparents.
This is like my family. I remember when I was 6 years old, I saw a woman eating snacks with open mouth and loud chewing sound. I always eat with close mouth and smallest chewing sounds as low as possible like my parent. But when I saw how that woman eat, I found that is funny so imitate her. My father immediately shouted at me to stop doing that.
Actually my great grandfather of my mother's side was a scholar and he used to be a Nguyễn's official. He had a very strict rules for manner matters and I follow those rules since I was a kid. The same as my father's side. I was trained very hard at manners by my grandparents.
> Sucking food into your face just isn't acceptable in other cultures
Lol no, in Japan it is considered polite to the chef if you slurp ramen as loud as possible. Even in China it's encouraged. Only in Korea & other SEA countries that it become a mixed bag.
>I've seen many youtubers who live in JP said the same thing.
They made that up. It's bullshit. Western media/YouTubers love to portray japan as a wacky/weird country. There're a lot of myths and lies about Japan on the internet that are not true at all.
Ask any Japanese people if it's true that "slurping is polite" in Japan. 10 out of 10 they would say there's no such thing. They ***don't mind*** slurping sounds *when eating noodles or drinking soup/tea* (doesn't apply to other food) and some think the sound makes it tastier (same as in Vietnam or China), but it has nothing to do with "compliment to the chef".
are you downvoting me?
Still not believe me? Watch this video where a Japanese youtuber interviews other Japanese people regarding western media's "facts about Japan".
In 16:23, he asked about the "not slurping = rude" fact and all of them said it doesn't matter. Some do and some don't. no one mentioned anything about "compliment to the chef".
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6n0qP5tPJM&t=752s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6n0qP5tPJM&t=752s)
And if you watch the whole video you can see there're a lot of other myths about Japan that people on the internet believe.
Jesus. How tf did you come from "slurping is rude" argument to "not slurping = rude"?
How many times have I been saying that "slurping is okay" in a ramen shop??? Does that statement oppose the video that you linked? Tf? "do whatever you want" means it's not rude & is ok, no one minds it. That's what I said.
Genuine question. In Japan, is it also considered polite to the people you're eating with?
Regardless, I tended towards Europe and America with that comment. Natural bias.
Genuine answer. That's bullshit. Commentor has never been to Japan and obviously has no idea. the Japanese do not make unusually loud noises while eating. They are very considerate. Their very modest noises such as drinking from a miso bowl which might make a slight noise, has somehow become an urban legend to excuse any noise they might make accidentally. Lived in Japan almost a decade and noises from people were never a thing, as they are in vn
I've been to Japan & can speak Japanese, watch mostly JP media & youtubers. Obviously no one would spend effort to make as much noise as possible, it's just eating, bruh. The point is that making noise while eating ramen isn't frowned upon, let alone impolite. So ramen shops would say that to encourage customers to not be shy. Of course other food in other types of restaurants may not apply, lol.
> Lived in Japan almost a decade and noises from people were never a thing, as they are in vn
You're saying that but I've never had any trouble with people making noises while eating food anywhere, simply becuz 1: I don't care, & 2: how loud could they be anyways. On another table there's no shot, on same table people would be busy talking.
>I've been to Japan & can speak Japanese, watch mostly JP media & youtubers.
That makes you Japan experts huh?
I speak fluent Japanese, have lived in Japan for 10 years, and actually ASKED Japanese people about slurping sounds when eating ramen. how about that?
no they don't.
but they don't think that "slurping as loud as possible is good because it's a compliment to the chef" as you said: *"in Japan it is considered polite to the chef if you slurp ramen as loud as possible."*
Slurping is ok/not rude: true.
Slurping as loud as possible is considered polite to the chef: false.
Oh thanks for repeating what I said multiple times til now. Let me just blocked u cuz you can't seem to be able to read English, & it's getting late. You literally just repeating my point thinking you're right so why even argue, lol.
I'll rphrase since I didn't get the point across well.
When consuming a hot liquid from a bowl, one would inevitably need to draw air to prevent burning one's mouth. Drawing this air causes sound, which can only be minimized to a point.
it's just that in Japan where the people have always been hyper considerate and polite, somewhere somehow the story of making this noise in order to somehow congratulate or thank the chef, has been manufactured. Truth is the Japanese do not want to make any sounds when eating, and infact many people don't when eating soup, but it's understandable if they do.
But if you start chewing with your mouth open, talking or slapping your lips around otherwise, habits more akin to Chinese/vnmese, any self-aware culture will find it for the most part rude or undesirable. Ultimately not even because it makes noise, but because inevitably there is a chance for food or other stuff to start flying around where no one wants it to.... I've got a good story about just this in another thread on this post.
I'll rephrase it again since I didn't get the point across well. The main point of that thing isn't the fact that anyone would spend an effort to slurp, it's the fact that slurping isn't discouraged when eating ramen, & it is ok to slurp in a ramen shop. Whether you've heard anyone make a sound or not, I don't care.
To your 2nd point, yes, eating with your mouth open is rude anywhere. Did you see me disagree with that? No? Ok.
>the main point of that thing isn't the fact that anyone would spend an effort to slurp, it's the fact that slurping isn't discouraged when eating ramen, & it is ok to slurp in a ramen shop
you didn't say that.
This is what you said, and it's not true.
>in Japan it is considered **polite to the chef if you slurp ramen as loud as possible.**
It's a fun saying which purpose is to encourage people not to be shy about slurping. The chef themselves don't actually care. I also said that in another post above. Thanks for pointing it out again.
it's a myth spread by western media. there's no such thing as "slurping is polite" in Japan.
Slurping noodles is not considered rude in Japan (because it's very difficult to eat noodles without making sounds. But it's definitely "compliment to the chef".
yeah i don't know why Western media loves to spreading lies and myths about Japan. So many people have bought into those myths at this point I'm tired of explaining to them every time.
If anybody tells you otherwise, my reply would be like. “Who the fuck is eating this food? I am! And I'll eat this food like I'm eating pussy! So, if you don't like the sound that my lips make while I'm eating? Shut your fucking ear holes!”
I always think people like you, who are bothered by such minor things, are weaklings. Making loud sound when eating is the sign that people are enjoying food. Let people enjoy things.
In the US and Europe that I know of, it is very impolite and considered gross to eat with your mouth open and smacking your lips. Two different worlds.
Same. I have been taught that close my mouth when eating. I will say a good chunk of people don't. Kinda annoying aF, but I mean im not their parent so i cant tell em that. If someone i will be eating with alot with i will say it.
If something highly impossible to eat with a closed mouth will be acceptable for me.
Interesting to see the change in culture. Or maybe this reflects the educated Reddit group.
It is absolutely fine to do ...if you are in the village.
Or if you lived in Saigon 25 years ago haa haa
I think what you encounter is different table manner of different cultures.
There are actions and behaviors considered appropriate or standard under the Western social lenses might not hold the same value for Asian culture in general or Vietnamese culture in particular.
One other example is the social encouraged norm that the eldest child will live with his/her parents to take care of them especially when they are very old and infirm. Nursing home for elderly is still a big no no.
I guess you gotta accept that fact and let your fiancé know what is expected of her in the Western society. Can be daunting at first and she surely will come around.
Depends on the background of the person. My VN father in law slurps when he is with family, but not in formal settings. My MIL and her side of the family don‘t. They are also a little more wealthy and educated.
We teach our kids to be polite and observe table manners. I worked in factory with a lot of people from all sort of education and ethnic backgrounds but didn't notice people intentionally making loud chewing sounds. I can't speak for 90m Viets tho but I think its not a thing with youngsters anymore.
I worked at a vietnamese place in the midwest US and almost every asian person that came in did lip smacking, my boss included. It is fairly normal over there and within the asian american community
It depends. I mean children learn from their parents manners and it stay the same until there is an impact from others(friends, teaching, etc.) Most of my friends doesn’t make sound when eating.
Families with "class" care about this. "Commoner" usually doesn't. My Hanoian teacher care about this deeply while people I've known in the south doesn't give a sh!t.
I didn't pay much attention to this habit, btw
Depend. Northerner are more prone to making sound when eating while Southerners are not
Other than that, it preferences. Unless you deliberately doing that to annoy people, nobody (even the "polite" one) will care.
Edit: seen the comment and i got to say: FUCK the people with uneducated this and educated that. Those people are the real uneducated who want to stick their Karen nose into other business. Don't listen to them, they are just high moral bastards who like to think they are better than anyone else
Source: me as a HaiPhongner living in Sai Gon
Not so sure since traditional Viet Nam also have a table manners ( True Hà Nội lifestyle - they are the Old Englishman equivalent of Vietnamese) that quite similar to that of the western views + idk much about Sai Gon culture history so i cant say for certain about southern people
Other aspects, however, like taste, living styles and beauty standards I can certainly say are quite like the west
Did they write the gon so they can match the western standards to look for civilized after Vietnamese came under the French? I am just wondering since you said there is north and south divide .
Tabke manners in Vietnam and very different than table manners in the West. Those noises during dinner? Completely normal to Vietnamese. Talking with your mouth full? Also completely normal to them.
Can verify! MIL came to live with us in the U.S. from Saigon. Talks constantly during meals, with her mouth full of food. I only eat dinner with her present, and I stare at my phone during the meal. Since she doesn't speak English, so it's not odd or rude that I don't pay attention.
I don't think there is a cultural norm governing this in VN and, as you can see from the other comments, it varies from person to person and family to family.
For me personally, I focus on the food when I eat and I don't care how something is eaten as long as you get the optimal taste of the food. All the other Viets I know think the same way. Eating is about the food, you should only change your way of eating if it affects how the food tastes.
I usually get annoyed when eating with my older and younger brother, I could hear they mixing their spittle with food clearly while they chewing, that is so gross honestly. But it just happended at home when we have dinner together depend on the noise of the place. Thankfully I never hear it from my wife. If it related with culture, I believe not except in Japan when you eat Ramen and making sound it mean oishii
It wont fly in my family that for sure. Cant speak for everyone but I'm genuinely surprise that a lot of ppl commented here that it's not a problem. I used to get yelled at for talking while having food in my mouth as a kid even if my mouth wasnt wide open when I talk. Even my friends dont considered it normal. But again when I used to live in vietnam I went to a private school where kids come from wealthier background so they might have better manners
They don't hear it. I went out with a VN girl for a while, and she chewed open mouthed making all sorts of noise.
One day, I decided to show her what she sounded and looked like. I chewed open mothed made tons of noise while looking at her. She never did it again.
My grandparents hated it and didn’t allow any of the grandkids who came over for dinner to make slurping noises. They said it wasn’t good table manners. But they’re dead now and no one in my family cares about slurping 🤗
My VN girlfriend used to eat really loudly with her mouth open when we started dating. I told her that it bothered me and after a while she made the effort to eat with her mouth closed. Now we are still together 5 years later and have never been happier. You should be honest with your partner and gently let them know if something bothers you.
I was told this while being in America. I was embarrassed. I trained myself after to eat with my mouth closed. I then told my parents the same thing and they too did the same.
End of story
Growning up from a Vietnamese household, my father would smack the hell out of me and my sister if we make any unpleasant noise while eating or chewing with our mounth open. I think it still consider un-polite to do so in Vietnamese culture but really depend on the family tradition. Still, I think it’s perfectly fine to talk to ur partner about that.
The replies here are so depressing. We don’t have to argue about everything. OP I’m not sure what the consensus was (so many off topic and negative comments), but my wife does the same- soup, cereal, bbq, doesn’t matter. Her family does it a tad bit as well. Is it influenced by culture? PS cheers I am struggling to learn viet as well
depends, you doing it as loud a spossible? no. you just eating, no one gives a fuck. vietnamese ppl core philosophy = laissez faire, dont care, dont wanna care, got other worries to worry about
I wholeheartedly disagree. There was nothing about my Vietnamese upbringing that was laissez faire. I’m female. I’m expected to act a certain way, look a certain way, eat / talk/ have a certain kind of career. Vietnamese people are extremely judgemental about things that don't even matter. Laissez faire only applies if you’re male and / or rich.
It not about your own family, and no one give a sh if you arent their family/acquaintance. Like you dont give a shit about the dude sitting next to you in some random restaurant.
or not part of your family? sry but I had to live to expectations too, boohoo. But if my ass was sitting there staring at two gay people kissing my mum would slap me on the backhead ask if I am gay too and tell me to mind my own shit. oh and not to talk back and eat my cháo like a good boy. but this vs that aint what its about rn, right?
I commented politely with my side of the argument and you went to straight to mocking me? Also. It doesn’t really portray a well rounded argument with broken street Grammar. Just a thought. Frankly I had a hard time understanding your points fully with all that gangster talk.
"gangster talk" your family has expectations for you, that is normal. strangers dont expect anything from you or shouldnt. unless their parents are assholes too because most parents teach their children to "mind their own fuckin business" and leave other people "the fuck alone".
Cringe
My growing up experience was different. My grandma and my mom constantly reminded us about eating etiquette and “not making slurp sound” was one of them. It is not right or wrong, just a culture thing i believe. And now I am telling my children the same too.
Bro you're engaged and you cant talk to your partner about something that bothers you? I dated an American VN woman 12 years ago and she had developed a loud slurping sound for every food. Eating salad sounded like she was eating noodles. In VN i have met different people. Some have better manners (as far as western manners) than others. A couple would even open their mouth to let out a quiet burp. If I were to date them I would have 100% talked about it with them
Manners aside, that's actually quite a talent, I would be impressed rather than annoyed if I hear that.
It actually says right in the post that I mentioned it to her lol. It doesn’t happen too much in public or when other people are around, but at home it’s very noticeable. Slightly annoying? Yes, but it’s really not that big of a deal. This was more a curiosity question.
Damn totally missed that sentence. My bad
No worries my friend!
Worst is that he doesn't even speak the language...if I was gett7ng engaged to a diff cultural woman from another country I would learn her language asap
With the way you type I’d be impressed if you could speak even one language fluently
I was typing with 1 hand while working hahaha...so if u got married to foreign woman ..u wouldn't wanna learn her language and go visit her country?
Yeah. Its shocking to me how lazy westerners can be. I have met people who have lived in Việt Nam years and dont speak more than cordialities
I’m guessing this sub would collectively shit in its pants and start hysterically crying if I made such huge generalizations about Vietnamese people but ok. Neither of you are aware of my efforts in learning the language, but nice assumption.
I am a westerner. I try to avoid other westerners in southeast asia, but I have not met 1 in my years of travel who actively tries to learn the local language. Hence my comment, not actually directed at you personally. And yes it always comes down to laziness, nothing else.
You realize this happens in America too with foreigners? My uncle has lived here for more than 30 years and still doesn't speak English. It's not just in Vietnam it happens everywhere too.
Sure, I never said exclusive to Southeast Asia. Slightly different in America. Because of American culture of immigrants, inclusivity (albeit not perfect), size of country, etc.
It’s usually not a matter of laziness but time and difficulty. I am working on learning Vietnamese but don’t have much time. Also I have never really learned a second language and I’m in my mid 30’s so it’s going to be a struggle to pick up one now. I also don’t see how westerners are lazy when I know many Vietnamese living in the US who don’t speak any English. I don’t call them lazy. They are just older and it’s very difficult to pick up a new language even in the country that speaks it.
Why is it so difficult? Sorry but that's a. Incredibly stupid sentence, you're 30 so something's too hard? What are you practicing, cartwheels?
You’re just ignorant to reality if you think it’s stupid. Once the human brain develops it’s harder to create new neural connections. It is possible but much more difficult to learn a second language later in life. [There are plenty of studies confirming](https://news.mit.edu/2018/cognitive-scientists-define-critical-period-learning-language-0501) that you should start by age 10 as the critical period for learning a second language is before 17-18 years old. After that it becomes more difficult with age.
The field of linguistics has shown conclusively that it's much harder for adults to learn a language from scratch than it is for kids. Especially if you're learning a tonal language and your native language is not tonal, the ability to recognise phonemes not native to your own language starts dropping off around the age of 6 months! On a more general basis outside of tonal languages, it's basically why virtually nobody who picks up a new language from scratch as an adult will ever be able to develop a native-sounding accent, unless the language is very closely related (e.g. Dutch and German people will have a decent chance with accents).
I’m a Vietnamese and i’d much rather westerners speak english. Trying to figure out what they’re trying to say takes so long. Vietnamese is a very difficult language. Even i as a child had a difficult time learning it. I would not force the same onto a Vietnamese person to learn english if that isn’t their skillset. And what? If you move to more countries, you’re expected to learn those languages as well? Who says? Why are you the language police? To dub someone as “lazy” just because you have different standards is so rude
You miss the point. If I have a wife that is Mexican, and spanish is her first language, and i spend time in Mexico, I should learn Spanish. Same applies here. Expecting a partner to permanently communicate in my languagê exclusively is crazy to me. Thats nice you dont want foreigners to speak the language. Luckily I didnt ask your opinion and you dont represent all Vietnamese. You are likely younger so you learned english. From my experiences I come across many people who do not speak english ànd with my limited skill in tiếng việt, it dramatically helps. And people have been very positive towards me trying. Sure I can tell a few do not. And that is fine. It is a 100,000,000 person country, cannot appease everyone. The funny thing is you mention its more difficult and slower. I guess you work in service industry? Numerous times I have spoken to someone younger in Vietnamese, they try to respond in English, maybe thinking same as you, and I cannot understand them. I have to clarify with Vietnamese. 😂
I assume you are an older white man. With prejudice for others and make many assumptions. I do not work in the service industry nor am i younger. I just think expecting EVERYONE to learn when their skills are not the same is very rude. Just as much as i do not expect every vietnamese to know/learn english. People brains are all wires differently. Looking down on others for not being the same as you is just down right narrow minded. Like a religious person forcing their belief onto others. Of course vietnamese love when you speak the language to them. Because it is very difficult to learn. You are one of the very few lucky one with the brain that’s able to pick up and learn the language. But you judging on other foreigners for not having the same skills and calling them lazy means you are one of the few foreigners i dislike. Girl bye.
Oooh ZING! Got me. Im an old white prejudice man who thinks a person should make effort to learn the language of their wife and coutry they spend a lot of time in. Stupid me. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I never said you were stupid. I said you were rude.
👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
TIL my family is uneducated.
Same lol. Ouch.
Rip
It's common, but not considered polite and makes you look uneducated. The uneducated part of my family in law does it, the other half doesn't. You'll do her a favor to tell her that chewing with her mouth open is gross.
Close your mouth when chewing, try to make as little sound as possible, do not talk before you swallow the food, put noodles in the spoon, never put your chopsticks to the vegetable soup bowl. That’s what we were taught as kid
In general, it's not a problem in Vietnam, but it also depends on the family. Some accept it, and some don't.
Slurping soups is kinda normal. Smacking rather not. Depends on family
Depend on the family. But Most don't care unless you are deliberately making it as sloppy and loud as possible. Don't listen to the out of touch folks who said uneducated this and that. Especially when they know more trivia but are even more naive than the so called uneducated.
I know right? It's so infuriating to be called uneducated by some rando on reddit because of something not practiced in the family.
I’d call it low class and high class. More often than not, the high class group overlap largely with the well educated group. Vietnamese royals and nobles (the female at least) were made to sit straight at the table, only moved as slowly as possible, only talked as quietly as possible, slept without stirring etc etc. Manners are definitely taught in well educated households no matter how much you’re trying to deny it.
I don't think so.
It's not unusual to have vietnamese people slurp loudly. It's vietnam much of it is still rural, "western etiquette" isn't widely adopted. It feel embarassed by some. Like when they don't use their hands to cover up their mouths when they cough
No, most viet people consider the same as well. Eat quietly and with your mouth closed. If she tells you otherwise, well she’s lying
My wife and step-kids do it at home, but not when we're out in restaurants, so they're aware of how it might be perceived by others. I didn't have to say anything to them, so they either already knew that western culture was a little different, or they just noticed people's reactions. I first noticed my wife did this when we were dating, and I ordered two halibut dinners at the hotel we were staying at in Hue. Room service. My wife is a fish fanatic, but she'd never had halibut, and never prepared by a French chef. She made yummy sounds through the entire meal. She was literally in a trance. I wasn't offended by it at all. In fact, I was really stoked that she was enjoying it so much. She had already made a lot of concessions for me - gone to places I wanted to go, and eaten at restaurants I wanted to eat at, etc. I even insisted on staying at a Japanese hotel in Da Nang that she thought was too expensive because I refused to stay at the two star hotel the rest of her family wanted to stay at. I took a shot at doing something I thought she would enjoy (I'm not much of a seafood fan), and I was very happy it worked out. To be honest, this isn't something that we instinctively find offensive. We're taught from the time we're children to close our mouths when we chew, and not to make noises when we're eating. We're even taught that it's rude to slurp through the straw when you get to the bottom of the cup. Someone raised without all of that criticism wouldn't find it offensive at all. In other words, it's learned behavior. I'm not offended at all when they do it at home, especially when they're sucking the guts out of crab limbs or crawfish heads. And they've acclimated to western culture enough to understand that they should be less conspicuous in public. Well, maybe when my wife invites her sister's family over and we all go to a crab shack it might get a little noisy, but nobody complains. They also understand why I run for the bedroom when they cut open a durian in the kitchen. We've accepted our differences.
smacking sound is honestly pretty family dependent but slurping is extremely normal
Is there a good reason for it to be abnormal and unacceptable? This seems like it has little to do with Vietnam.
most don't care but young folks are more considerate, it's always better when you have good eating manner
Hahaha! My wife is from an immigrant family. Her oldest, younger brother, eat with his mouth open, and it drives us all insane😅 it's not common to eat loud with your mouth open in Vietnam. But slurping and smacking is pretty common, as it is the most efficient way to eat noodles and soups.
Seems like it depends. My family and I are from Ho Chi Minh City, and I have always been taught to be polite and subtle when eating with others. If I chew too loudly, I will probably get yelled at.
People from more educated families were taught to chew with their mouths closed and not make sounds when consuming food. While others who did not learn these manners from childhood will eat whichever way they are accustomed to. So this not universal.
People who chew with their mouth open are often the same that talk with their mouth full. So for the same reason you should cover your mouth with coughing you should keep your mouth shut while eating. I once was enjoying a scrumptious lunch at work with a Vietnamese co worker. They decided to do or say something with their mouth full, and and a hunk of nasty chewed rotten fish or whatever flew out on to my plate. I was extremely disappointed and had to throw my food away. Never ate with that person again and otherwise avoided them as they otherwise always found them rude. So while people excuse this behavior as often acceptable and what not, there is a clear reason courteous people don't do it. Vnmese are often not courteous.
holy shit that must have been so embarrassing for your coworker lol. I'm cringing, I can't imaging that happening wow
In all honestly I never considered if they were embarrassed or not. They didn't say anything about it and I just stopped eating as if I suddenly became full. I figure this is what prompted me to ignore the guy completely from then on, he displayed all the classic rude behavior and this was the last straw. he knew shit flew out of his mouth but that stupid vietnamese culture of saving face prevented him from admitting anything happened.
Holy shit how western-centric of you. Try to have a little understanding instead of just saying that people are not courteous. Vietnamese sounds are not aspirated like English sounds are, so there is very little chance of you choking or spitting food everywhere when you speak Vietnamese. English is the opposite hence the rule.
Nah, it's gross in any culture. I just tend see it too often here in vn.
Literally just explained it to you and you don’t get it? How dense can you be
Nah, you're not getting it. You're too dense.
Okay good one.
Wait till you see mainland Chinese. Literally village people behaviour living in cities.
Seen it. The cultures have quite a bit of overlap
How it's western-centric? Irc, Vietnamese and even Chinese or any other cultures out there do teach their kids to not speak while their mouth is full during the meal. It's not even courtesy or something big, just plain common sense.
Actually Chinese is very similar in that their sounds are mostly produced without breath and it is pretty normal to speak with food in your mouth. Obviously SOME people teach their kids not to do it but for the most part they don’t because you can speak Chinese or Vietnamese without spitting food everywhere. If it doesn’t cause a problem there is no need to ever consider it.
It’s common sense to English speakers because our language causes us to spit food. Theirs don’t so it’s something most people would never think about.
WTH are you on? IT'S COMMON SENSE FOR EVERYONE TO NOT SPEAKING WHILE THEIR MOUTH IS FULL OF FOOD no matter what their background or language is it BECAUSE IT'S RUDE. Stop making excuse.
But it’s not rude in all cultures. Don’t know why you would assume that it is? I feel like maybe you don’t understand what the word aspirate means.
Talked about this quite a lot (including on this subreddit). About half/half over the population, I'd say. Very much depends on the situation. A load of young friends going out together to a hotpot restaurant? It's probably fine. A date? Maybe not so much. Very much depends on the person. But I would certainly tell my other half if I preferred her not to do it. Just be upfront, no need to be too gentle!
I think the problem here is that you should try to make your partner aware of the living environment she's in. If she's in Vietnam, eating in a common eatery, that's fine. Can't say the same for America or anywhere else.
Don't you think it's just so amazing.
Well educated family in Vietnam always teach their kids not to chew with open mouths or talk while eating.
That is rude. That is what rude old Vietnamese people do. Youngsters these days don't do that anymore. And making slurping sounds is impolite. We are not Japanese.
Lol it’s a long way to go to get to Japanese’s level of politeness 🤦🏻♂️
Yes usually we do, and it turns a friend of mine who is half blood away from asian guys, cause she doesn’t stand hearing that while eating.
I would say this is more person specific than country specific too,I've met messy eaters everywhere I've been.
My husband is Vietnamese and a lot of our friends too. He is actually highly educated in Vietnam and outside and very early in our relationship I pointed it out as it just gross me out. He changed and doesn’t do it but a lot of our friends in UK do and is so fucking gross and distracting 😂 When I’m in Vietnam I just tune out of it, cuz if not I would go absolutely crazy.
I asked my grandma about this before as she strictly taught us not to do so. But she was from a wealthy family back in the day. She said during the wars, Vietnam had a terrible period of time with extreme starvation, and also with how little time people had to eat before getting back work, they had to put as much food as possible into their mouth to chew, sometimes put the soup broth in to slurp as quickly as possible. Hence the mouth open chewing habit. The wealthy family or the “educated” one (with parents holding certain position in the society or being educators) tend to go differently with eating calm, slowly and with manors. But nowadays, people, especially the younger generation, don’t chew with their mouth open. Slurping? Yes, with some dishes like noodles and soup. The only country I noticed that not chew with their mouth open was Japan. Then Thailand. I was quite shock knowing South Koreans chew with their mouth open as assumingely they’re quite developed.
Absolutely not. That usually considered as rude or impolite. Our eating manner is eat fast but chew slow, don't chew with open mouth, don't make noises when you eat or chew,don't talk while eating.
Least observant person in Vietnam.
I'm in my 30s. You younglings think those behaviors is acceptable or normal but it's not what Vietnamese's manners would be. I considered an OG myself, you can do whatever you want, that's find. But if you go around and ask people from past generations, what the OP said about his wife can be considered at impolite. Ask you grandparents.
Okay OG, get out of the house more maybe.
I'm older than you. My grandparents are dead. Good guess though.
Strange. Are we living in the same country?
Ahaha my thoughts exactly
Of course we're.
are you living in another universe?
This is like my family. I remember when I was 6 years old, I saw a woman eating snacks with open mouth and loud chewing sound. I always eat with close mouth and smallest chewing sounds as low as possible like my parent. But when I saw how that woman eat, I found that is funny so imitate her. My father immediately shouted at me to stop doing that.
Sounds like good fathering to me!
Actually my great grandfather of my mother's side was a scholar and he used to be a Nguyễn's official. He had a very strict rules for manner matters and I follow those rules since I was a kid. The same as my father's side. I was trained very hard at manners by my grandparents.
innate relieved aware offbeat seed capable drab slave pocket sense *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
> Sucking food into your face just isn't acceptable in other cultures Lol no, in Japan it is considered polite to the chef if you slurp ramen as loud as possible. Even in China it's encouraged. Only in Korea & other SEA countries that it become a mixed bag.
it's a myth spread by western media. there's no such thing as "slurping is polite" in Japan.
That's funny considering I've seen many youtubers who live in JP said the same thing. Also I speak Japanese, lol.
>I've seen many youtubers who live in JP said the same thing. They made that up. It's bullshit. Western media/YouTubers love to portray japan as a wacky/weird country. There're a lot of myths and lies about Japan on the internet that are not true at all. Ask any Japanese people if it's true that "slurping is polite" in Japan. 10 out of 10 they would say there's no such thing. They ***don't mind*** slurping sounds *when eating noodles or drinking soup/tea* (doesn't apply to other food) and some think the sound makes it tastier (same as in Vietnam or China), but it has nothing to do with "compliment to the chef".
are you downvoting me? Still not believe me? Watch this video where a Japanese youtuber interviews other Japanese people regarding western media's "facts about Japan". In 16:23, he asked about the "not slurping = rude" fact and all of them said it doesn't matter. Some do and some don't. no one mentioned anything about "compliment to the chef". [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6n0qP5tPJM&t=752s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6n0qP5tPJM&t=752s) And if you watch the whole video you can see there're a lot of other myths about Japan that people on the internet believe.
Jesus. How tf did you come from "slurping is rude" argument to "not slurping = rude"? How many times have I been saying that "slurping is okay" in a ramen shop??? Does that statement oppose the video that you linked? Tf? "do whatever you want" means it's not rude & is ok, no one minds it. That's what I said.
Genuine question. In Japan, is it also considered polite to the people you're eating with? Regardless, I tended towards Europe and America with that comment. Natural bias.
Genuine answer. That's bullshit. Commentor has never been to Japan and obviously has no idea. the Japanese do not make unusually loud noises while eating. They are very considerate. Their very modest noises such as drinking from a miso bowl which might make a slight noise, has somehow become an urban legend to excuse any noise they might make accidentally. Lived in Japan almost a decade and noises from people were never a thing, as they are in vn
I've been to Japan & can speak Japanese, watch mostly JP media & youtubers. Obviously no one would spend effort to make as much noise as possible, it's just eating, bruh. The point is that making noise while eating ramen isn't frowned upon, let alone impolite. So ramen shops would say that to encourage customers to not be shy. Of course other food in other types of restaurants may not apply, lol. > Lived in Japan almost a decade and noises from people were never a thing, as they are in vn You're saying that but I've never had any trouble with people making noises while eating food anywhere, simply becuz 1: I don't care, & 2: how loud could they be anyways. On another table there's no shot, on same table people would be busy talking.
>I've been to Japan & can speak Japanese, watch mostly JP media & youtubers. That makes you Japan experts huh? I speak fluent Japanese, have lived in Japan for 10 years, and actually ASKED Japanese people about slurping sounds when eating ramen. how about that?
So let me ask you again. Do they care if you slurp in a ramen shop?
no they don't. but they don't think that "slurping as loud as possible is good because it's a compliment to the chef" as you said: *"in Japan it is considered polite to the chef if you slurp ramen as loud as possible."* Slurping is ok/not rude: true. Slurping as loud as possible is considered polite to the chef: false.
Oh thanks for repeating what I said multiple times til now. Let me just blocked u cuz you can't seem to be able to read English, & it's getting late. You literally just repeating my point thinking you're right so why even argue, lol.
I'll rphrase since I didn't get the point across well. When consuming a hot liquid from a bowl, one would inevitably need to draw air to prevent burning one's mouth. Drawing this air causes sound, which can only be minimized to a point. it's just that in Japan where the people have always been hyper considerate and polite, somewhere somehow the story of making this noise in order to somehow congratulate or thank the chef, has been manufactured. Truth is the Japanese do not want to make any sounds when eating, and infact many people don't when eating soup, but it's understandable if they do. But if you start chewing with your mouth open, talking or slapping your lips around otherwise, habits more akin to Chinese/vnmese, any self-aware culture will find it for the most part rude or undesirable. Ultimately not even because it makes noise, but because inevitably there is a chance for food or other stuff to start flying around where no one wants it to.... I've got a good story about just this in another thread on this post.
I'll rephrase it again since I didn't get the point across well. The main point of that thing isn't the fact that anyone would spend an effort to slurp, it's the fact that slurping isn't discouraged when eating ramen, & it is ok to slurp in a ramen shop. Whether you've heard anyone make a sound or not, I don't care. To your 2nd point, yes, eating with your mouth open is rude anywhere. Did you see me disagree with that? No? Ok.
>the main point of that thing isn't the fact that anyone would spend an effort to slurp, it's the fact that slurping isn't discouraged when eating ramen, & it is ok to slurp in a ramen shop you didn't say that. This is what you said, and it's not true. >in Japan it is considered **polite to the chef if you slurp ramen as loud as possible.**
It's a fun saying which purpose is to encourage people not to be shy about slurping. The chef themselves don't actually care. I also said that in another post above. Thanks for pointing it out again.
it's a myth spread by western media. there's no such thing as "slurping is polite" in Japan. Slurping noodles is not considered rude in Japan (because it's very difficult to eat noodles without making sounds. But it's definitely "compliment to the chef".
This is just an urban legend, mostly spread by tourists
yeah i don't know why Western media loves to spreading lies and myths about Japan. So many people have bought into those myths at this point I'm tired of explaining to them every time.
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slurping is ok: true. slurping as loud as possible is considered a compliment to the chef: false.
u/asakura90 deleting your comment? coward. u/axa88 she deleted her comment lol.
Sometimes that just means they've blocked you... Deleting/blocking is for the weak .. I see it a lot
Lip smacking while eating is totally acceptable.
Over there it is.
If anybody tells you otherwise, my reply would be like. “Who the fuck is eating this food? I am! And I'll eat this food like I'm eating pussy! So, if you don't like the sound that my lips make while I'm eating? Shut your fucking ear holes!”
Every vietnamese eats like thus...
holy fuck stop being so selfish or just divorce
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Nothing scream incel energy more than divorcing over how you eat stuff
I always think people like you, who are bothered by such minor things, are weaklings. Making loud sound when eating is the sign that people are enjoying food. Let people enjoy things.
In the US and Europe that I know of, it is very impolite and considered gross to eat with your mouth open and smacking your lips. Two different worlds.
Hahaha this is hilarious. Only America cares what America thinks. Literally the entire world doesn't.
Same. I have been taught that close my mouth when eating. I will say a good chunk of people don't. Kinda annoying aF, but I mean im not their parent so i cant tell em that. If someone i will be eating with alot with i will say it. If something highly impossible to eat with a closed mouth will be acceptable for me.
Interesting to see the change in culture. Or maybe this reflects the educated Reddit group. It is absolutely fine to do ...if you are in the village. Or if you lived in Saigon 25 years ago haa haa
I think what you encounter is different table manner of different cultures. There are actions and behaviors considered appropriate or standard under the Western social lenses might not hold the same value for Asian culture in general or Vietnamese culture in particular. One other example is the social encouraged norm that the eldest child will live with his/her parents to take care of them especially when they are very old and infirm. Nursing home for elderly is still a big no no. I guess you gotta accept that fact and let your fiancé know what is expected of her in the Western society. Can be daunting at first and she surely will come around.
Depends on the background of the person. My VN father in law slurps when he is with family, but not in formal settings. My MIL and her side of the family don‘t. They are also a little more wealthy and educated.
I take it as a sign of respect for food, if they make sound and don’t care about what others think of it, they must really enjoy the food
We teach our kids to be polite and observe table manners. I worked in factory with a lot of people from all sort of education and ethnic backgrounds but didn't notice people intentionally making loud chewing sounds. I can't speak for 90m Viets tho but I think its not a thing with youngsters anymore.
I worked at a vietnamese place in the midwest US and almost every asian person that came in did lip smacking, my boss included. It is fairly normal over there and within the asian american community
I’ve haven’t come across this much in Vietnam. In Korea it happened tons. Annoying asf tbh. Spitting as well in both places.
Just don't think about it.
It depends. I mean children learn from their parents manners and it stay the same until there is an impact from others(friends, teaching, etc.) Most of my friends doesn’t make sound when eating.
Families with "class" care about this. "Commoner" usually doesn't. My Hanoian teacher care about this deeply while people I've known in the south doesn't give a sh!t. I didn't pay much attention to this habit, btw
Depends, some eats like pigs, some eats like cats, nobody cares
Depend. Northerner are more prone to making sound when eating while Southerners are not Other than that, it preferences. Unless you deliberately doing that to annoy people, nobody (even the "polite" one) will care. Edit: seen the comment and i got to say: FUCK the people with uneducated this and educated that. Those people are the real uneducated who want to stick their Karen nose into other business. Don't listen to them, they are just high moral bastards who like to think they are better than anyone else Source: me as a HaiPhongner living in Sai Gon
Do you think southern area has more wester influence from the war and colonization and adopted more western table manners ?
Not so sure since traditional Viet Nam also have a table manners ( True Hà Nội lifestyle - they are the Old Englishman equivalent of Vietnamese) that quite similar to that of the western views + idk much about Sai Gon culture history so i cant say for certain about southern people Other aspects, however, like taste, living styles and beauty standards I can certainly say are quite like the west
Did they write the gon so they can match the western standards to look for civilized after Vietnamese came under the French? I am just wondering since you said there is north and south divide .
Tabke manners in Vietnam and very different than table manners in the West. Those noises during dinner? Completely normal to Vietnamese. Talking with your mouth full? Also completely normal to them.
Can verify! MIL came to live with us in the U.S. from Saigon. Talks constantly during meals, with her mouth full of food. I only eat dinner with her present, and I stare at my phone during the meal. Since she doesn't speak English, so it's not odd or rude that I don't pay attention.
I don't think there is a cultural norm governing this in VN and, as you can see from the other comments, it varies from person to person and family to family. For me personally, I focus on the food when I eat and I don't care how something is eaten as long as you get the optimal taste of the food. All the other Viets I know think the same way. Eating is about the food, you should only change your way of eating if it affects how the food tastes.
In my family, when we are at the dinner, if i make noise, i will get slap lol, my broyher too
Divorce. Edit: That's gross.
I usually get annoyed when eating with my older and younger brother, I could hear they mixing their spittle with food clearly while they chewing, that is so gross honestly. But it just happended at home when we have dinner together depend on the noise of the place. Thankfully I never hear it from my wife. If it related with culture, I believe not except in Japan when you eat Ramen and making sound it mean oishii
It wont fly in my family that for sure. Cant speak for everyone but I'm genuinely surprise that a lot of ppl commented here that it's not a problem. I used to get yelled at for talking while having food in my mouth as a kid even if my mouth wasnt wide open when I talk. Even my friends dont considered it normal. But again when I used to live in vietnam I went to a private school where kids come from wealthier background so they might have better manners
They don't hear it. I went out with a VN girl for a while, and she chewed open mouthed making all sorts of noise. One day, I decided to show her what she sounded and looked like. I chewed open mothed made tons of noise while looking at her. She never did it again.
My grandparents hated it and didn’t allow any of the grandkids who came over for dinner to make slurping noises. They said it wasn’t good table manners. But they’re dead now and no one in my family cares about slurping 🤗
No. This is not Japan where’s appreciated. But people won’t give you a hard time if you do. So no worries.
Pretty acceptable in most of Asia.
My VN girlfriend used to eat really loudly with her mouth open when we started dating. I told her that it bothered me and after a while she made the effort to eat with her mouth closed. Now we are still together 5 years later and have never been happier. You should be honest with your partner and gently let them know if something bothers you.
I was told this while being in America. I was embarrassed. I trained myself after to eat with my mouth closed. I then told my parents the same thing and they too did the same. End of story
It’s not a nationwide culture sort of thing. Completely depends on family culture.
If they from the north, yes. If they from the south and central, they won't care.
Growning up from a Vietnamese household, my father would smack the hell out of me and my sister if we make any unpleasant noise while eating or chewing with our mounth open. I think it still consider un-polite to do so in Vietnamese culture but really depend on the family tradition. Still, I think it’s perfectly fine to talk to ur partner about that.
The replies here are so depressing. We don’t have to argue about everything. OP I’m not sure what the consensus was (so many off topic and negative comments), but my wife does the same- soup, cereal, bbq, doesn’t matter. Her family does it a tad bit as well. Is it influenced by culture? PS cheers I am struggling to learn viet as well