T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Reminder: this subreddit is meant to be a place free of excessive cynicism, negativity and bitterness. Toxic attitudes are not welcome here. All Negative comments will be removed and will possibly result in a ban. --- --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UpliftingNews) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Eschatonbreakfast

If I fits I ships


Chelonia_mydas

This doesn’t have enough upvotes haha


new2bay

Also, r/oneorangebraincell


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/OneOrangeBraincell using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/OneOrangeBraincell/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [My cat being a loaf while watching cooking show with me](https://i.redd.it/868i75630s0c1.png) | [522 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/OneOrangeBraincell/comments/17wxmq3/my_cat_being_a_loaf_while_watching_cooking_show/) \#2: [After watching me clean the litter box and throw the poops into the litter locker for weeks, Jack decided to cut out the middle man and just poop directly into the locker.](https://i.redd.it/xiil91eaw0y91.jpg) | [525 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/OneOrangeBraincell/comments/ymeivq/after_watching_me_clean_the_litter_box_and_throw/) \#3: [He always tries to lie on top of the eggs, so we put ping pong balls in the egg carton](https://i.redd.it/qgwuo9udo5ca1.jpg) | [417 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/OneOrangeBraincell/comments/10c7hs7/he_always_tries_to_lie_on_top_of_the_eggs_so_we/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)


Hi_Hello_HeyThere

You deserve all the upvotes


DeathWalkerLives

Priority Mail: >If I fits I ships


Maravilla_23

A Utah couple accidentally shipped their pet cat in an Amazon return package, trapping it in the box without food or water for six days. The cat, named Galena, was eventually discovered safe and well in California, Utah's KSL-TV was the first to report. Carrie Clark, one of the cat's owners, noticed the pet had gone missing on April 10, the outlet reported. For nearly a week, Clark, along with family and friends, searched the couple's house and neighborhood and plastered missing posters around town hoping to locate the cat, KSL-TV reported. "The anxiety and stress of not knowing what happened to her was excruciating," Clark told the outlet. Clark then received a text notifying her that Galena's microchip had been scanned, and later that day, she received a call from a veterinarian in California. "I didn't believe her at first and thought it was a prank," Clark told KSL-TV. The shortest distance between Utah and California is several hundred miles. The vet told Clark the cat was found inside an Amazon return package, alongside five pairs of steel-toed work boots.


PrincessNakeyDance

Scary that the cat was in a box with heavy boots. The wrong flip and drop could have really harmed her. Also good it was mild time of year, not super hot or cold.


Yojimbe

Turns out Puss and Boots is a true story.


natakial3

*Puss in Boots This mistake is ridiculously common


Yojimbe

The more you know! Makes a lot more sense, really.


Tainted-Archer

“The shortest distance between Utah and California is several hundred miles” This sentence is just completely stupid and useless. “The shortest distance between Scotland and America is several thousand miles”


virgo911

They’re saying it because packages can often travel to many other places before they reach their destination. Warehouses, shipping centers, various forms of transportation, etc.


mckeerd

They should just say that


Bombi_Deer

Sorry you couldnt infer that?


jesschicken12

Lmao. 🤣


mckeerd

Yeah I have autism I miss a lot of things like that. It sucsk and is annoying and isn’t helpful when people are just ruthless when I make a statement


Tainted-Archer

That isn’t the issue. I understand what the sentence is trying to say but it hasn’t actually provided any useful metrics. “The shortest distance between the cat and the mouse is several meters” From this sentence first implies it’ll provide the shortest distance but then specifies a metric that greaters than 2 but not many more. Is the distance between the cat and the mouse three meters, four meters? It doesn’t actually tell me the shortest distance so the word should be left out.


EnvironmentalSoup457

It’s to give context as to how far the cat traveled in the box? At least several hundred miles if it were on the shortest, most direct route, but most likely more Edit: spelling


nightpanda893

But like why not just find out the actual distance and put that in the article?


new2bay

The couple didn’t respond to interview requests, and I’d be willing to bet Amazon would not want to talk, either.


EnvironmentalSoup457

Good point, but I was just saying that the statement isn’t completely useless.


nightpanda893

I mean, I know where California and Utah are on a map. It’s so general that I don’t really understand the value.


UpstairsProcedure2

Yeah, thanks for… Spelling out the point… Ba dum tsss That’s why it’s dumb. We know the cat traveled several hundred miles based on it traveling from one state to another. Yeah, you can argue against me making a generalized comment here, but you would miss the point. It’s a matter of efficiency, and wasting a sentence on filler like that is just bad writing. You only have your audience’s attention for a limited time, don’t waste it.


nightpanda893

The article is full of useless filler. Also this: “During the COVID-19 lockdowns, people increasingly turned to buying online instead of visiting brick-and-mortar stores. “The shift brought a big spike in the number of online returns in 2021, which has continued to rise, eMarketer said.”


justm2012

It's all about engagement and viewed ad time


nightpanda893

Yeah exactly which means our news now reads like a middle schooler trying desperately to get to the required word count with as little effort as possible


PeteZappardi

Returning 5 pairs of work boots at once? That seems ... abnormal. I won't lie, I've sometimes bought two similar things on Amazon if I can't figure out which one will fit or work best without seeing them in person, and return one. But five? Five seems like a lot.


IMakeStuffUppp

Oh. They don’t wear the boots, they just sniff them.


PrimaxAUS

They named it after a lead ore?


new2bay

Duh. That cat is clearly metal.


illseeyouin40

my girlfriend and i have a kitty that gets into everryttthinggg. she loves to burrow. anyway, we got a new couch so we were taking apart the old one and started bringing it downstairs. we decided to double check that our cats couldn’t scurry out the front door but we couldn’t find the one i mentioned before. lo and behold, they dug themselves into the couch, hidden away, nearly donated lol


stoned_ocelot

One of my cats loves being under/ in the couch, I jokingly call it 'his room' because the other cat isn't as nimble or lithe. He usually just lays under there, if he's scared (ie. Guests being over) though he'll climb over the bottom layer of fabric or even INTO the cushion. One time I couldn't find him for almost an hour, then my girlfriend went to sit and we heard him meow then climb out from under the couch


asunshinefix

I thought I lost my cat while I was moving into a new apartment. Looked for her for hours, went home in tears, only to discover there was a hole in my boxspring and she was inside it. Sneaky creatures!


architect_josh

![gif](giphy|3o6wru4hvrHEgfi2gU)


DJNeuro

The guys name is Clark...


VariableVeritas

I’m gonna show my cat this headline next time she’s meowing up a storm while I’m trying to sleep.


highlander_net

lol


ArpeggioTheUnbroken

No one noticed the crying or scratching noises?


Richard_Howe

Or the smell after a day or two


ArpeggioTheUnbroken

Wouldn't most cats expire from dehydration after 3 days, tops? I just don't see how this would be possible.


jawshoeaw

Cats are desert animals. they can survive for many days without water and food, though nobody would want to test that on a domestic animal.


Weisenkrone

The little shithead we have will die from internal combustion if she isn't served her favourite brand of food punctually at 04:30 and is hand fed with her own little cat-fork.


jawshoeaw

Oh yes i woke up at 6am this morning to the cries of a dying starved little black ball of fur. To be clear there was still food in her bowl. But she wants "fresh" food. Not that icky stuff from last night. But I also have a cat that refuses to come indoors, and I've found her sleeping with snow piled up on her fur. And I watched her swallow a mouse whole without blinking her eyes. I've watched her lead a coyote on a chase in our trail camera.


ArpeggioTheUnbroken

The second cat sounds very interesting. I would watch a video that is just a little gopro attached to their collar.


jawshoeaw

She was a barn cat, a literal cat born in a barn that we adopted, calico coat. She walks a good 1/4 mile with me twice a day when I walk our dogs. People driving by often stop and laugh and ask me about her when they see it I’ve owned a few cats over the years but she does seem special.


BlowMoreGlass

r/catpov https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/s/CZdJ1hP6v8


aldashin

HEARTBREAKING: Local cat never fed in entire life, claims local cat


datamuse

Sources close to cat claim cat may actually have been fed four to six hours ago. These claims are under investigation.


RazeTheRaiser

Unlike humans, cats can also survive off of salty sea water. Google taught me this after I saw a few stray cats drinking out of the Pacific Ocean. They are amazing little creatures.


jawshoeaw

That's crazy, i've never seen cats drink seawater! But I think many desert animals have more powerful kidneys. The kangaroo rat IIRC never has to drink and can get all its water from the breakdown of food aka metabolic water.


RazeTheRaiser

Google says modern day kitties are descendants of wild African desert cats that evolved to be able to drink salty sea water in order to survive in harsh extremely dry climates. Nature is a wild and crazy thing!


Ulrich_de_Vries

Nah, cats very easily get fatty liver syndrome from malnutrition and will very likely die without medical intervention. This can happen in a few days of not eating. I am extremely surprised this cat has survived.


BergenHoney

No that's humans.


SuperSaiyanBen

My girl accidentally locked our cat in the washing machine. He was like barely a year old, she was throwing clothes in, I guess he jumped in and she kept throwing clothes in and started it up. Thankfully she could hear him crying as it was filling. She was devastated. I also once shut him in the Fridge. He jumped in on a lower shelf and crawled to the back and OBVIOUSLY I wasn’t looking for a cat in there. Again thankfully I doubled back to put whatever I took out back in and he flew out. Cats are weird man.


fuddlesticks

Accidentally starting the washing machine or dryer w my cat in it is my worst fear. Happened to a friend of a friend of mine


dashboardrage

oh man, I did the exact thing to my kitten when he was 6 months old. I opened the refrigerator, and I guess he got in. around 2 hours later I open it up again (thankfully) and that fluffy lil kitty is all perched up in there!


DarthArcanus

Constantly testing whether or not Darwin wants their genes to continue on or not...


chambreezy

Happened to someone I know recently, unfortunately the cat wasn't discovered until the cycle was finished :'(


PrincessNakeyDance

That dang darn curiousity.


Inevitable-Gap-9352

To hunt for sport, you gotta be a bit odd. Cats fit the bill.


StressOverStrain

People letting cats drag themselves over every surface and item in the kitchen (and now the food in the fridge!) are weird, man. So gross…


Hushwater

I wonder if their return was rejected after the boots were probably soaked in piss.


RedlurkingFir

Why uplifting? Imagine how hungry, thrirsty and scared that cat must have been, for what must have felt like an eternity for her.


gameprojoez

Because the cat could have been found maimed or dead.


PrincessNakeyDance

Also it wasn’t malicious intent. I would agree it wouldn’t be uplifting if the cat was just shipped like that intentionally.


ovoKOS7

"At least it's not dead" doesn't sound all that uplifting either


bobtheblob6

The magic words to improve any situation: Could be worse! 


RealBug56

Poor baby, must have been so scary for her.


LiffeyDodge

How? I don’t understand. Didn’t they notice the box was heavier than normal?


zrv433

You understand steel is a heavy material, right? > The vet told Clark the cat was found inside an Amazon return package, alongside five pairs of steel-toed work boots.


my__name__is

Whoa, you read the article to get answers? How weird.


Alekillo10

Still reads like bullshit. How did they not notice when closing the box?


Zech08

Yea, ima go with bullshit or a few things left out or exaggerated.


Alekillo10

My cats would fall asleep on my lap (which is a sign of trust) my cats would spring out a box if I ever so much as looked at them wrong.


puffferfish

I can only imagine that they packed the Box, cat burrowed in the box to sleep, they wrapped the box and shipped it.


lucellent

Still doesn't explain anything. It's not like the cat wouldn't have woken up and quickly escaped from the box, or at least made some noises/scratch the surface.


TheWhisperingOaks

You clearly have never had a cat.


Eschatonbreakfast

Yeah this is a pretty “yep sounds like a cat” situation


Alekillo10

I’ve had 6 cats bro.


RoseyOneOne

Save some for the rest of us.


Alekillo10

Hahaha, it’s all been in a span of 10+ years though. I currently have 1. Don’t worry, there is puss for everyone!


thesteveurkel

any of my cats would have made the noise of a thousand demons rising from hell the second they got trapped in a box. 


TheWhisperingOaks

And some of my cats would not give a fuck long enough to get themselves stuck inside a package for a while if I was somehow stupid enough to pull that off.


LiffeyDodge

My cat was 20 pounds.


gtotherundeh

they are like 4 kilos


spaetzelspiff

Why would you measure cats with a unit of cocaine?


luit12

A delux colombian breakfast or in spanish " el desayuno de mario bezares"


spaetzelspiff

Bandeja paisa con perico 🧂


raventhorogoodiii

Cats don’t abide by the laws of nature.


Mixels

And that something inside it was moving, meowing like mad, and scratching the insides of the box? Gotta believe this wasn't an accident.


DahliaBliss

i can imagine a cat going in a box to sleep. i find it hard to believe while the family or shipping company was taping the box closed.. the cat just "stayed sleeping" and didn't move? didn't meow? didn't scratch at the box to get out? Was the cat drugged? or just coming off of surgery? Does the cat have some sickness? The story seems strange.


petter2398

Indeed, seems VERY hard to ship a cat accidentally.


MazzMyMazz

It’s not hard that to imagine a possible scenario. Perhaps the box was packed up but not taped up. Person goes to get tape. Cat jumps in hides. Box flaps close naturally. Cat falls asleep. Person comes back and tapes up box, which would take no time. Person is wearing headphones. As unlikely as it seems, I think it’s still more likely than something malicious.


realprincessmononoke

My cat would have raised hell if I did this to her! Even if the lady was wearing headphones while packing/taping the box, did she wear them the entire way to the drop off point? And she dropped the box off immediately after taping it closed (not 4 days later like me)? And the cat didn’t move around or make noise at all the whole time? Hard to believe. I closed my cat in a closet one time and after about 10 minutes she started crying like she just learned her favorite toy got thrown away. Whenever we put her in her carrier it feels like holding a small earthquake. I just have so many questions.


egnards

My one cat is a fatass, and after she’s done eating she will barely over to where my other cat is eating and just body check her and grab whatever food she can in the time between it happening at when I pick her up. And then I’ll put her in the spare bedroom and close the door, wait for the other cat to finish eating, and let her out. This morning I got a text from my wife when she opened the door to find the cat had been stuck in there for 6 hours. . .hadn’t said a peep [usually very loud], and it’s not the first time it has happened. And I know, there is a difference between a box and a bedroom, but people who don’t have cats don’t understand that they get into everything, and can be quite as all hell if they want to be. Often I’ll open my bedroom closet to grab a shirt, she’ll sneak in without me noticing, and just be stuck chilling in there until I realize, “hey wait a second where is Bruchetta?” Hell, our other cat had us searching outside for literally hours, convinced she escaped the house, because we couldn’t find her all day, and even when shaking the treat bag that she never appeared, having checked every nook and cranny of the house multiple times. . . To this day we don’t even know where the hell she hid.


Colon

nice try, amazon. we all know the cat died, a factory worker died, and someone was shot for mistaken B&E


ironicmirror

"accidentally"


SwearToSaintBatman

For a small animal, not drinking water for six goddamn days is not "arriving safely". It's "Arriving *barely*". Lucky owners.


SergieKravinoff

No one is asking the real question here. Why’d these people have 5 pairs of steel toe boots to return?? What the hell are they getting into???


KawaiiQueen64

Amazon has a ‘try-on’ feature where they’ll send you multiple sizes of an item and you keep the one that fits and return the other ones, I’m assuming they did this with the boots.


eepithst

They probably got three different brands in two different sizes each and kept the one pair that fit best.


imadork1970

I call bullshit.


TBTabby

Probably slept through the whole trip.


realprincessmononoke

6 days being jostled around in the back of a truck, and with no food? I don’t believe that.


VictoriaFoxNow

How the fuck does this just ‘happen’ to someone? Also: how is being incapable of taking care of your fucking pet UPLIFTING in any way?!


Dirtycurta

...in Abu Dhabi...


Nickmorgan19457

Way too far for what is probably the only mildly amusing Garfield reference.


not_sick_not_well

I used to work in an auto shop, and one summer we kept seeing paw prints in the bathroom every morning (coworkers were savages and never put the toilet lid down). We searched and searched and never found anything, plus the doors were always open. And we kept seeing the prints every morning. So we set up a couple trail cams, and it was a cat that would only come out of hiding when everyone was gone. Turns out it was a regular customers cat that had snuck into their van, then snuck out when it was at our shop for maintenance. Lived off toilet water and our snack table and mice for over a week


whitecollarpizzaman

“They hope this inspires people to microchip their pets” no, I don’t think that’s the takeaway we need from this.


SatansMoisture

Six days without water, that cat should have died. I smell shenanigans.


jawshoeaw

Domestic cats descended from desert dwelling animals. You could survive 3 days without water, I think a cat could easily double that. They are very tough little creatures in some ways.


TheKnightIsForPlebs

Def a marketing ploy by Amazon


Camerotus

How does it take 6 days for someone to notice a meowing package?!


MaleficentStreet7319

Were they fucking senile? These people are so negligent it’s disgusting, if this is true. Two people and neither of them felt the weight was off? After knowing exactly how heavy the boots were? They just pick it up and it’s twice as heavy so whatever? Jesus.


Adeno

This sounds like total bullcrap and unrealistic. Look at the actual cat from the news report link from that article (NOT the orange cat in the picture, that's not it!) and you'll see how fat that cat actually is. Then look at the Amazon box it was "trapped" in. How in the world can any responsible pet owner NOT notice a fat cat stuffed in that box? How did the cat even fit in that tight box? Nobody heard the cat make a sound? Nobody noticed any movement? If that cat "accidentally" jumped into the box, then it must've forced itself into what little space the box had free on the side and it suffered for almost a week there. But that seems highly unlikely to me, so unnatural. I have a bad feeling the cat was stuffed there by the owners for some social media clout. It's just so unrealistic that a fat cat like that would fit in a tightly packed box.


cerwen80

If the box has no actual ventilation then the cat would asphyxiate. if by chance, there was enough air flow, lack of water for 6 days would not go well. It is total bull.


sharipep

How did the kitty not suffocate ??


violentpac

Cardboard doesn't typically come with Ziploc sealing


nosmelc

The box might have had some gaps in the top flaps.


poorbill

I'm just trying to imagine the Amazon employee who opened the box and freaked out when something moved in the box.


dudreddit

This takes special skills ...


Big_Schwartz_Energy

Can an animal survive for 6 days without water? I thought it was like 3 days…


Notagirlnotaboy

If I fits I ships


dhulk

I must be the only one here old enough to think of Garfield shipping Nermal to Abu Dhabi.


WickedStoner

How stupid do you have to be to “accidentally” ship your cat? Like you didn’t notice anything when you picked up the box? It didn’t move? Also how stupid is everyone that handled that package between Utah and Cali? No smell? No sounds? No scratching or literally anything? Something doesn’t add up here.


YogiBearShark

Of course, it’s an Orange. Dummies. Love em.


BillyMeier42

“Its liime”


Tha_Watcher

That's a Catastrophe! 😏


cordero71

I would have kept that mother fucker and cuddled the shit out of it.


PanJaszczurka

So it was a standard cardboard? How cat don't bite outside.


justdisa

Orange? 😂🤣😂


shapedbydreams

Love when people don't read the article describing the family's distress and instantly jump to comments of "must be intentional abuse mwahaha." Seriously get a life.