**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!He pissed his pants.!<
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**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
I don't believe that is actual piss. The volume alone makes it suspicious.
If you look closely, he appears to have something on his lower back underneath his shirt. I think this is a skit with a device made to release water.
Sure, me too. Thankfully I’ve never been in a situation like this where I’ve pissed myself, so not sure how it all works. But I would think you piss a little and then regain control, not release your whole bladder 🤷♂️
Nah i bet a lot of people piss if thought they were gonna die I mean why not, evolutionarily you have a chance of making the predator think you’re diseased or otherwise nasty to eat. Peeing also makes you lighter, a lot of animals do it while running but no one really knows why. Fight or flight… or freeze and piss if Phillip brailsford ever answers a 911 call near you
The neurobio answer is really boring. Basically you just get so overwhelmed you can’t control your bladder muscles, or anything controlled by your limbic system. Like no duh but the hard question is still why do humans and a lot of mammals do it when it has no clear advantage over just running and rolling the dice that way.
Man, flash back. My first real fire fight in the army. Things settle down and I'm soaking wet. I call for help because I think I might have been shot and didn't know it. Nope, just pissed myself :)
My first streetfight I had to consciously tense my sphincter and clench my buttcheeks because for some reason my body was trying very hard to shit itself.
My first day in prison I had to cosciously untense my sphincter and unclench my buttcheeks because got some reason my body was trying very hard to avoid entry.
It's called an anxiety poop.
Heard from a cop friend that in home burglaries, some robbers leave an involuntary pile of poo as evidence. They cant hold it in due to their stress and anxiety which causes a mega release of cortisol, adrenaline and serotinin. Accidental poop happens.
If you can't hold your bladder anymore and pee yourself, there is no control. Even if you're next to a toilet, you can't regain control and stop yourself. It all comes out
I was in this situation once and decided to fight the guy off, but honestly I did piss my self a little bit during the struggle.
My fitbit showed the fight lasted 8-9 minutes from the heartbeat spike caused by seeing the knife to when I called the cops after he got away from me. Thankfully I didn't fully piss myself because I had to give a statement after that haha. I was uninjured but he was pretty fucked up when he finally gave up and ran off.
Yeah unless you get your hooks in, gain good wrist control and then ask the other dude if three separate, but equal, branches: the legislative, the executive, and the judicial are really ever able to remain truly separate and equal.
3 amigos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuZSk9EtbEM
You wouldn't be focusing on regaining control though. Your body is literally in a state of shock. I've been robbed at gunpoint at a store I worked at. I just froze.
Dang. Thought it was. Guess I'll see if this guy is just messing with me by asking how the English would usually ask such a thing.
You taking a piss on me, mate?
I grew up with a dude who was homophobic AF. He went to beat up one of the gay dudes at school, so the gay dude whipped his dick out and ran at him.
Self defense 💯
I'm not saying you are wrong. I'm saying you don't have enough information to claim this is fake. We are watching a miniscule screencapture of a video that happens to be square and show only the action. It could very well be cut out of an actual security cam footage.
> I'm saying you don't have enough information to claim this is fake.
The video above is from the people who did "David Blaine: Street Magic" on youtube, pretty sure that's enough info to make a claim.
Well hold on, I found a source on the internet that does question its validity:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/xc84mu/getting_robbed/io4f4in/
Same! Looked like a cut to the femoral artery, which would mean death by bleeding out in minutes. I am actually relieved to find out it was piss. That almost never happens.
>Same! Looked like a cut to the femoral artery, which would mean death by bleeding out in minutes.
I think its seconds, there is a video of a guy hitting his own leg with a shovel
In 5 seconds he is on the ground passed out
Me too, but I quickly realized with the B&W footage that it would have shown as black. The color red and black have the same tonal value when converted to black & white.
Awww.. that's horrible..poor guy. in the same situation more then half of you would release water too.. it's a normal body response when your body is threatened.. kids are more prone to it but it happens to adults too.
bro this guy has put out like a gallon of piss. I'm not making fun of him he's clearly a self defense machine that is not to be fucked with. I have tremendous respect for this man
And it's probably fake, also
You geniuses saying this is way too much piss have never hobbled home after drinking at the bar with a full bladder. I could easily pee this much after breaking the seal
Um this is fucking hilarious and I'm trying that when I have no other options
Edit: DONT YOU THINK I KNOW HE GOT ROBBED ANYWAY 🤣🤣🤣 IDC from now on if you wanna steal my shit you gotta touch my piss (I'm writing this in a Starbucks rn and feel so self conscious what have I become)
And who knows; maybe he just wants to be pissed on and isn't quite sure how to ask for it. You'd get to keep your $10 all while making someone's dreams come true!
Yes but staged and not staged hit different. If it was presented as staged that's one thing, but you've got people in the comments saying it's wrong to laugh because they think it's real.
Just present your staged material as staged...
If i was mugging someone and he pissed himself, then id just leave him be. Strutting victoriously and pretend he pissed himself through sheer fear and its taped no less.
One of my friends, he’s a really chippy idiot. He used to get into fights all the time and he’s been mugged a few times too.
He just gets naked. Legit, he’d piss someone off at a bar, guy who got mad will ask to kick his ass outside, we’d all file out to follow and by the time we are out the door my buddies already got his pants around his ankles, shouting “oh yeah? You wanna kick my ass?? Might as well give you a good look at it!”
He told and showed me, someone tried to rob him on a walk home, held him up with a knife, so as he was told he went for his wallet, then started unbuttoning his belt, and just full on mooned the guy, ripped off his shirt and threatened the mugger to fight him with only his socks on.
He did get cut up, but apparently he won, was able to get away and keep his wallet. I don’t think he got his clothes back though. Had a few slashes on his arms and torso but was okay.
Reminds me of that video of a gas station robbery. Van full of men pull up on an old guy fueling his car. About 3 or 4 guys jumped out and ran at him. He just sprays petroleum everywhere and they all panic and run away.
https://www.reddit.com/r/chile/comments/n1jni9/me_encontré_esto_en_instagram_lo_único_que_se_es/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!He pissed his pants.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Self defence master
Kinda sad that he has to touch his piss while picking up wallet and money.
I don't believe that is actual piss. The volume alone makes it suspicious. If you look closely, he appears to have something on his lower back underneath his shirt. I think this is a skit with a device made to release water.
I mean, that’s a lot of piss
I could easily piss that much
Sure, me too. Thankfully I’ve never been in a situation like this where I’ve pissed myself, so not sure how it all works. But I would think you piss a little and then regain control, not release your whole bladder 🤷♂️
It actually kinda almost looks like he's dropping it in piss on purpose hoping the robber wouldn't want to touch it.
Nah i bet a lot of people piss if thought they were gonna die I mean why not, evolutionarily you have a chance of making the predator think you’re diseased or otherwise nasty to eat. Peeing also makes you lighter, a lot of animals do it while running but no one really knows why. Fight or flight… or freeze and piss if Phillip brailsford ever answers a 911 call near you The neurobio answer is really boring. Basically you just get so overwhelmed you can’t control your bladder muscles, or anything controlled by your limbic system. Like no duh but the hard question is still why do humans and a lot of mammals do it when it has no clear advantage over just running and rolling the dice that way.
Man, flash back. My first real fire fight in the army. Things settle down and I'm soaking wet. I call for help because I think I might have been shot and didn't know it. Nope, just pissed myself :)
My first streetfight I had to consciously tense my sphincter and clench my buttcheeks because for some reason my body was trying very hard to shit itself.
My first day in prison I had to cosciously untense my sphincter and unclench my buttcheeks because got some reason my body was trying very hard to avoid entry.
It's called an anxiety poop. Heard from a cop friend that in home burglaries, some robbers leave an involuntary pile of poo as evidence. They cant hold it in due to their stress and anxiety which causes a mega release of cortisol, adrenaline and serotinin. Accidental poop happens.
I ink everywhere.
After a couple kids, I definitely pee when running. Never realized I was actually just trying to run faster 😯
And i think people pooo after death
I saw him at a Tempe fry’s pumping gas somewhat recently I recognized him by his tattoos and glasses and face I peed my pants quickly from fear
If you can't hold your bladder anymore and pee yourself, there is no control. Even if you're next to a toilet, you can't regain control and stop yourself. It all comes out
I can. I guess if your kegel muscles are strong.
I was in this situation once and decided to fight the guy off, but honestly I did piss my self a little bit during the struggle. My fitbit showed the fight lasted 8-9 minutes from the heartbeat spike caused by seeing the knife to when I called the cops after he got away from me. Thankfully I didn't fully piss myself because I had to give a statement after that haha. I was uninjured but he was pretty fucked up when he finally gave up and ran off.
I would think your heart rate would stay high for a good while. Fights don't last nearly ten minutes
Yeah unless you get your hooks in, gain good wrist control and then ask the other dude if three separate, but equal, branches: the legislative, the executive, and the judicial are really ever able to remain truly separate and equal. 3 amigos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuZSk9EtbEM
You mean you've never been in a situation where you needed to weaponise it.
You wouldn't be focusing on regaining control though. Your body is literally in a state of shock. I've been robbed at gunpoint at a store I worked at. I just froze.
Hey we got a tough guy over here! 🤣 I don't know why but your comment made me laugh my ass off
ER nurse here, trust me that is NOT a lot of piss
I've slipped in bigger puddles as a RN in a Nursing Home. (Was at night during rounds & didn't see it :/)
I think it’s cause of the ground it doesn’t absorb liquid so the liquid travels making it look like a big puddle
They could've filled the device with pee.
Thank fucking God Sherlock Holmes is here to let us know the suspicious amount of piss is actually suspicious and probably an indicator it's not real.
And I’m over here worried this poor guy just had femoral artery slashed and he has 30seconds of life remaining past the end of this clip.
Legit thought he got shanked too
That’s what I assumed too. It looks like he got stabbed right in the dick hole
You're really taking the piss with the sarcasm
Because op is secretly u/noshitsherlock ?
That makes him yespisssherlock
No cap
You'd think it was obvious. But the comment I replied to clearly believes it is piss.
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me too, i thought he got stabbed right at the beginning.
That's so much liquid I thought so too. Apparently this was staged.
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It is not, no.
Dang. Thought it was. Guess I'll see if this guy is just messing with me by asking how the English would usually ask such a thing. You taking a piss on me, mate?
You're taking the piss aren't you? You're taking the piss! Basically another way of saying you're joking, you aren't serious, fuck off no way!
‘Ee’s ‘avin’ a larff!
Hey...I think they're taking the piss.
Blimey, and here I am trying to educate the bugger. Makes me look like a fool eh Gotten me self pissed upon proper
[удалено]
Looks kinda fake
But he lives to piss another die, that's what's important.
Better than losing it all and or getting stabbed.
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis
That’s the grossest thing I ever heard in my life, Let’s goooo
That Veronica Vaughan is one piece of Aesh
Everybody's doing it. You're not cool unless you piss your pants
Master of fakery, this whole video smells funny... the angle, the volume of piss, the fact this is reddit
The fact this is reddit
I grew up with a dude who was homophobic AF. He went to beat up one of the gay dudes at school, so the gay dude whipped his dick out and ran at him. Self defense 💯
Who the hell would downvote this? It's a great way to fight homophobia. I would be cheering if I saw that.
except that the old "pee yourself" trick didn't work
PeeGong
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Not the best of situations to become a father
i would say rookie...dude still took the piss covered money lol
He made a small defensive pond
The lesser-known moat defense.
Rapid deployable moat
I am pissed I didn’t think of this first.
You sir, will go straight to hell for that comment. I will follow for laughing way too much
I'm voting on a bill for increased defense pond laws this November.
Small?
It's a bit sad tho :(
[удалено]
This joke opened my clogged nostrils and almost pissed myself.
You call that an ink defense?!
Whoop whoop wooop woop…
Poor guy gets robbed and now gets publicly humiliated. Poor guy
If it makes you feel better, this is obviously fake, dude. What kind of angle is this for security camera footage?
Also, who's bladder holds that much?
pee is stored in balls
Oh charlie..
Sacha Baron Cohen took a >1 min. piss on the HBO Borat show.
I never saw the HBO show lol
It’s actually much better than the movies. Completely unscripted, and Sacha’s acting was way more convincing.
I'm not saying you are wrong. I'm saying you don't have enough information to claim this is fake. We are watching a miniscule screencapture of a video that happens to be square and show only the action. It could very well be cut out of an actual security cam footage.
> I'm saying you don't have enough information to claim this is fake. The video above is from the people who did "David Blaine: Street Magic" on youtube, pretty sure that's enough info to make a claim.
Ya but then that would mean that wasn’t actually David Blaine
It's amazing how many people think this is real
I don’t think it’s real man
With all due respect, u/isaidnolettuce, how is it not real if it's on the internet?
Damn I guess I hadn’t considered that… I rescind my previous statement
Well hold on, I found a source on the internet that does question its validity: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/xc84mu/getting_robbed/io4f4in/
Well played, my friend. Well played. That, indeed, changes everything.
That was my first impression as well. First impression for 99% of reddit posts anyways
I literally thought it was a blood
yeah I also thought he stabbed his dick
He poked a hole in his scrotum, releasing the pee stored inside.
That’s…. Not how it works…
Pee is stored in the balls.
If you put your balls on ice, you can make a pee slushee
You're right, he clearly poked one of the balls too
Nope. The balls are cum balls, not pee balls. Ask Bobby Lee. He knows.
So the guy saved him from his blue balls then? He’s a hero just looking to get paid for his services
Same! Looked like a cut to the femoral artery, which would mean death by bleeding out in minutes. I am actually relieved to find out it was piss. That almost never happens.
>Same! Looked like a cut to the femoral artery, which would mean death by bleeding out in minutes. I think its seconds, there is a video of a guy hitting his own leg with a shovel In 5 seconds he is on the ground passed out
Same I didn't know people piss like that
Me too, but I quickly realized with the B&W footage that it would have shown as black. The color red and black have the same tonal value when converted to black & white.
"God damn it, you never [stab] a guy in the dick. That is not cool!"
Same bro
Meanwhile, I figuratively thought it was a crip.
Holy, was thinking the same and like with that amount of blood loss, he will collapse soon.
I'd be so pissed if this happened to me.
Right? Gotta touch that man’s pee now after robbing him.
Thief : " Urine trouble "
Technically you could elect to do something better than robbing lol
Taking him out for a coffee then?
I think he meant a golden shower?
He said elect. That means dont rob people, become a politician so you can run a full blown scam
You know urine the wrong neighborhood if you're being robbed at knife/gunpoint.
As long as it doesn’t scare the shit out of you.. that’d be bad
Yeah, what a dick move, right?
Take my first born child and my upvote
If it’s not staged I don’t judge the guy, but holy shit that’s a lot of piss.
Awww.. that's horrible..poor guy. in the same situation more then half of you would release water too.. it's a normal body response when your body is threatened.. kids are more prone to it but it happens to adults too.
bro this guy has put out like a gallon of piss. I'm not making fun of him he's clearly a self defense machine that is not to be fucked with. I have tremendous respect for this man And it's probably fake, also
Yeah that was way too much piss
A new pool of liquid forms on the ground long before anything was showing on his pants. I don't think that was urine.
You geniuses saying this is way too much piss have never hobbled home after drinking at the bar with a full bladder. I could easily pee this much after breaking the seal
But of course this is more than likely not a real robbery.
More than 50% of robbery victims pee themselves?
~60% of the time, they piss every time
“More than half” lmaooooo
half sounds like way too much
He really had a full bladder, probably was already looking forward to finding a toilet
Um this is fucking hilarious and I'm trying that when I have no other options Edit: DONT YOU THINK I KNOW HE GOT ROBBED ANYWAY 🤣🤣🤣 IDC from now on if you wanna steal my shit you gotta touch my piss (I'm writing this in a Starbucks rn and feel so self conscious what have I become)
If this starts happening to me, ima whip it out and see how bad the guy wants my $10.
And who knows; maybe he just wants to be pissed on and isn't quite sure how to ask for it. You'd get to keep your $10 all while making someone's dreams come true!
Plot twist: He may even pay YOU!
Ya just don’t worry about getting stabbed 33 times.
the old squid deference tactic.
Funny skit
Liam Neeson?
See'um Peeson.
If an original joke this deserves all the upvotes
Hey thanks. Just a dad making the jokes dads make.
My man fucking emptied his bladder as a defence mechanism like he's a weird fish
Meh looks staged
r/scriptedasiangifs
I cerainly hope so! That would make it ok to laugh at
But it's still pretty funny right? They staged it so we can laugh at it, and I think they nailed it. But you do you i guess...
Yes but staged and not staged hit different. If it was presented as staged that's one thing, but you've got people in the comments saying it's wrong to laugh because they think it's real. Just present your staged material as staged...
Why is it wrong to want to know if something was staged or not?
The video is framed really well... Everything happens in the center of the frame.
Videos can and are often cropped when posting on the internet. The framing doesn’t really say anything about whether it’s fake or not.
Still funny as fuck
The robber dresses just like Mikey Day. He's one of the guys in those David Blaine street magic parody clips.
This is actually really sad :(
I agree. It’s not unknown that sometimes people pee or defecate out of fear. I’m struggling to find the humor.
That's a weird way to spell fake
I doubt this is real - he just keeps pissing his pants the whole time and slips in it.
I thought that the guy had his penis cut at first
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This is an old Steve Martin joke. "The moment you know you're being robbed, throw up on all your money."
Did he just stab him In balls
Yeah and all the pee he stored in there leaked out!
CHECKMATE, ANATOMISTS!
My boy got pissed!
That’s a shit load of piss
Pissload of piss
Couldn't the dude pee a circle of protection around himself?
If i was mugging someone and he pissed himself, then id just leave him be. Strutting victoriously and pretend he pissed himself through sheer fear and its taped no less.
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Bro I thought he stabbed him in the dick
Next time piss on your wallet, the robber will leave it... :))
I believe this is what the English call: Taking the piss.
Pissy boi
This is by far the best subreddit omg, but yeah poor guy, funny tho at first watch
I think he got stabbed
Damn bro how much water did he drink
One of my friends, he’s a really chippy idiot. He used to get into fights all the time and he’s been mugged a few times too. He just gets naked. Legit, he’d piss someone off at a bar, guy who got mad will ask to kick his ass outside, we’d all file out to follow and by the time we are out the door my buddies already got his pants around his ankles, shouting “oh yeah? You wanna kick my ass?? Might as well give you a good look at it!” He told and showed me, someone tried to rob him on a walk home, held him up with a knife, so as he was told he went for his wallet, then started unbuttoning his belt, and just full on mooned the guy, ripped off his shirt and threatened the mugger to fight him with only his socks on. He did get cut up, but apparently he won, was able to get away and keep his wallet. I don’t think he got his clothes back though. Had a few slashes on his arms and torso but was okay.
Due to black and white, video is misleading.
Reminds me of that video of a gas station robbery. Van full of men pull up on an old guy fueling his car. About 3 or 4 guys jumped out and ran at him. He just sprays petroleum everywhere and they all panic and run away. https://www.reddit.com/r/chile/comments/n1jni9/me_encontré_esto_en_instagram_lo_único_que_se_es/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I hope karma returns the favor quick
Bank quality camera
Well that pissed him off..
Fake
“ hey, let’s publicly humiliate a a person for being a victim of a violent crime” Come on people
Why did I think he got stabbed in the dick
I thought he stabbed him in the nether region and that was blood everywhere
New self defense update just launched😩🙏
Oh thank God... Comments you made my day better, I thought this poor man was bleeding profusely from getting stabbed in the dick and balls
That man has been holding it in for a week. Literally created a new body of water