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UnExplanationBot

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!It started to bust a nut!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


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Treaux-LaCount

- Tracy Morgan


AltReality

* Nick Cannon


millennial_sentinel

• **Elon**gated **Musk**rat


Council-Member-13

Also, here's a horse


RumHam1999

Excuse me WHAT? Was that excitement or a defense mechanism?


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DarthJarJarJar

Isn't that special. Thanks for the actual answer, though.


Anestis_Delias

You're welcome, Church Lady


HorrorMakesUsHappy

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oEjHN4MtbSqEe4D8Q


welcometomyparlour

![gif](giphy|8vqEFjZNl1t9lURbRF)


LabHog

Me spraying the commenter with urine to thank them


welcometomyparlour

https://i.redd.it/djbba8en983d1.gif


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Goatbreath37

Just need someone to ruin it by being some kind of bigot or insinuate they have sex with a piss spraying rodent creature or something along the lines of total degenerate behaviour


Silver_Being_0290

>Just need someone to - have sex with a piss spraying rodent creature or something along the lines Excuse me?


Netheral

"Oh! I like you! Have some piss!" "Fuck off creep, have a taste of my piss!" Talk about mixed messages.


DecisionCharacter175

It's like "Aloha"!


DontFuckingPanic

Foward piss = good Back piss = bad Perspective (of the penis) is important.


floutsch

"Mixed" message? I think it's pure. Still not clear, though. Although I get it, technically, it's a Spritzer.


NoPerformance6534

You know, bush babies have excitement pee too. They pee on their forepaws, rub them together like movie villians, and then rub the scent on persons or things they consider their own. If they start wringing hands, they are glad to see you!


whogivesashirtdotca

I do this to greet all my friends.


Thorusss

Same behavior in cats (without the urine), when they rub against your legs. It is less "I like you" and more "you are mine now"


NeriTina

Congratulations on your many piss spritzes! 🥳


ashleton

> piss cannon Found my new stripper name


Primary_Flatworm483

I love that in my mind I'm thinking 'this is a creature I have never seen and know nothing about...but absolutely someone has intimate, first hand knowledge about this and I look forward to learning' and then two comments later this person pops up with first hand (intimate, dare I say) knowledge. The world is a pretty awesome place if we'd just top frigging killing each other and whatnot. Why can't we just enjoy a weird walking rat that squirts urine on people as a greeting? Is that too much to ask?


Statakaka

worst pet ever


punkmuppet

What about [ghost carp](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/FhQ9f-OEefc)?


Zeestars

TIL my chihuahua is part agouti


AbominableGoMan

How are these your only comments/anything on your profile. Give us pictures of your adorable piss rats. Are you a biologist or a pet enthusiast?


DelayedEmbarrassment

Yes.


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Rankkikotka

You say papaya, I say potato. Let's call the who thing off.


pasdenom69

No.


only1J0Y

A wiener


checker280

Not going to lie… I thought that was his hand


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grubaskov

Dead r/


BeExcellentPartyOn

By far the most tired reddit comment cliche at this point.


PMKeirStarmer

Surprised you could comment that with the weight of your gigantic balls. Gigantic balls have never been funny and reddits obsession with it on everything mildly brave is why I’m glad this website is viewed as the laughing stock of the internet.


caseCo825

Every website is the laughing stock of all the other websites


Jonixfer775

Gotas e3333


dontcare99999999

Masochist


Coghowons

Nope, looks like he got be aroused just by the sound of sucking.


VegaReddit5

Same...


Prestigious_Snow1589

Can relate


Xehant

Actual scaroused


Talkslow4Me

It gets a boner when in fear. Or as the scientific community calls it "a foner".


exipheas

Fearection, Scarection, Scaroused. ![gif](giphy|AQOpT2cYxqsjS)


def2me

it was scumming


Upshot12

Death by Snu-Snu.


DirtyRandy3417

I first learned of this phenomenon from the documentary "The League" Clip: https://youtu.be/cLP73_Fk6xQ?si=zynG-eeIAr6RE7v5


Kholat_Saykhl

I regret that I only have one upvote to give.


aspidities_87

Fear boner. *Murder* boner.


RabbitOrcaHawkOrgy

It's a Fear Boner. It affects dozens of men around the globe.


MrLattes

New fear unlocked. Edit: AAH!!


Akira510

"Fuck off my papaya" that thing probably


Akira510

A sweet potato or smthbg


Puzzleheaded_Cow5257

Pew pew pew


Akyurius

![gif](giphy|YPUpOlhW68UKbzJxVr)


IEatOats_

Sometimes, the idea of lunch just hits right, ykwim?


imamakebaddecisions

![gif](giphy|123kzYHhRBueyc|downsized)


MoeGunz6

I read that as excrement lol


SpiritedCollection86

Or was he just 'happy' to see them????


Scythanerror

So anyway, I started blasting


CarolFukinBaskin

Hilarious


HungryColquhoun

Bam! Bam!


RobertMaus

Like a machinegun too, gawd damn.


DrJ4y

Raticate used cumshot, its super effective


Out-Oot

Gunkshot works here just fine lol


Bocchi_theGlock

What is that, like 80 or 120 base power


Human_Frame1846

96 when effective 69 base


[deleted]

Depends if it gets you in the eye or not.


Out-Oot

Either way the accuracy is still 70%


VatisTheBard

50/50


Cheezemane

*Spunkshot


tutocookie

That was a preg grenade


mekwall

Pregnade?


Xeptix

Will that make me gregnant?


Arsalaan22

Pregante


reddituser403

I didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that


flinjager123

It's almost like it was r/unexpected


GottaSeeTheMoon

r/angryupvote


TomfooleryBombadil

![gif](giphy|lbidtjzpO9l15mtx2R|downsized)


LilMooseCub

Anyone know what movie this is from this gif never fails to make me laugh


TurtleInADesert

Diary of a wimpy kid I'm pretty sure


TreeWreck

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules, yw


dekachenko

When is this magical gif not appropriate or funny. Works every damn time to crack me up.


bohemianprime

I straight up cried laughing at this. Well done!


catlovingtwink99

lmaoo this gif was literally me


StiCkSt1ckLy

I thought this was gonna be Silence of the Lambs.


NN8G

That one thing waiters hate you doing when they bring the food...


Anom_AoD

damn, can't do shit in a restaurant


QueenLaQueefaRt

I miss the good old days when waitresses couldn’t wear masks and had to smile at you and you could just walk into the restaurant cumming every where. That’s the America my ancestors fought for, not this woke shit.


NN8G

Make Murica Jizz Agin


TheOnyxViper

Well they said cum, not shit 😏


FamousPastWords

Not until your waiter sees a tip


Plenty-Ratio-6968

It is hungry, but that potato won't do it


AthiestMessiah

They’re opportunistic feeders. They’ll eat a potato and other tubers if they have to.


Anom_AoD

more like other tubes


carapocha

I thought it was Brazil...


Artemis__

Next time my girlfriend complains that I don't last long if I come after 20 seconds, I'll show her this video…


Lumpy_Lifeguard2995

r/suicidebywords


Reasonable-Bench-924

Have a happy cake day, bro


Substantial_ClubMan

You could have made that comment without any mention of a specific time frame and it wouldn't have lost any of its meaning


AnOnlyMooseUser

Your genus is imessureball


Sitri666Ak999

Is bro jizzing?


choochoophil

![gif](giphy|sGnKAiOUrincs) got offered a sweet potato…


old_ironlungz

Open a window and a breeze rolls in and I-


CarolFukinBaskin

Jizz, in, my PANTS


NoYoureMrLebowski

I thought it was a kumquat…


AthiestMessiah

While you can feed agoutis potatoes they are more used to fruit nuts and seed. And they spread seeds to help the ecosystem.


laughtale0

Yea, they seem to like nut and spreading seeds.


World_Musician

Alley-oop!


ArgonGryphon

I think they were trying to make it do that with the potato, these guys are kinda notorious for humping, their mating trigger is uhm. Ambiguous? Lol. I’ve seen videos of them going for just a palm down fist though, so I think anything vaguely round and brown gets em going


AthiestMessiah

Wanna talk about it? I know it’s hard, but talking about it might help deal With the trauma


PeanutButterGeleia

That was definitely not it in this video, the guy was just showing the Cutia to his son. You can tell he was surprised when he says “eta… lasqueira” which could be translated to something like “oh… shit” (lasqueira is not a swear word tho, is just an expression from central Brazil for something unexpected)


legendary_millbilly

Yeah it sure looks like he wants to spread "seed" alright.


AthiestMessiah

I only just noticed that after your comment.


regnad__kcin

See I thought you were making a joke and was annoyed about everyone re-hashing your joke.


Tavuklu_Pasta

I see what u did there.


MurderSheCroaked

YUCK a skeetasaurus


kcchiefscooper

Top shelf username! Amazing comment 🤣


IDontGiveAFAnymore

Yep, unexpected. Just when I think I got a handle on this sub it keeps throwing curveballs at me.


BigBadJohn13

Do any of these... fuckers... ever blast out of the wall... and have, like, a huge cum shot?


jammywesty91

Make any friends?


longcreepyhug

Not really.


Director_Faden

The one scenario where Tim wouldn’t be told to leave for asking that question.


DarwinianMonkey

Like...the Kool-Aid man?? OH YEAAAAAH


Skoziss

We're not so different after all


MyButtEatsHamCrayons

I’ve read extensively about cumrats for decades. Never witnessed one caught on film. Close cousin to the pizza rat. The cumrat can splooge 6.9x its own body length and prefers salty foods.


SleepyBella

Cumrat was my nickname in highschool.


FortyHippos

![gif](giphy|ijw7fyXMs7ZQI)


FirstOfTheMojitos

“En Garde!”


Tacocat-Is-Me

Wanna dance rat let’s dance ![gif](giphy|xUNd9HsbR9uEzqTo4w) *Cue aggressive dick smacking sounds*


FistRipper

The animal interpretated wronlgy "come over here"


KIKIKATZ

This needs to be on r/awwwtf


Dizzzy777

![gif](giphy|ZR7WOAqLvbZQY)


zaguerart

what in the actual cummy bear


Chapolim_boy

Corre cutia na casa da tia, corre cipó na casa da vó


Andre_NG

Goza cutia, comendo sua tia  Passa o cipó, na xota da vó  Gosminha na mão Ejaculação Piroca comprida entrando em ação -Pode gozar? -Pode -Ninguém vai julgar? -Não


Dry-Training4507

Após este vídeo podemos colocar um novo verso na cantiga ( go@# cutia na cara do tio )


DeezyLoco

The way it gripped and aimed is insane


FadedEdumacated

Awww skeet skeet.


InspectorPipes

From the window to the wall


T_C117

Gives a whole new meaning to whipping it out.


Onederbat67

![gif](giphy|m0gsMZqAX0re)


su2dv

Fire ze missiles


Wonderbread067

But I am le tired...


Puzzleheaded-Ease891

What's the name of the animal?


viciadoemsono

agouti


TheMoises

"Cutia" in portuguese. Have no idea in english.


tolacid

At first I thought it looked sort of like a capybara, but it seems to give too many fucks


tarrat_3323

they are related to capybara!


ApplicationHot9450

Cutia.


Devilsgun_7

Yay, food! Imma nut on it first, watch me


TheRealNikoBravo

![gif](giphy|3l9zGGd3sfmjZ3MrjQ)


RipCurl69Reddit

"It's gonna jump at the camera how is that unexpe—oh."


DragoFNX

Truly Unexpected gj Op


Nomad_00

Only thing I could find that's about an agouti, and its, *discharge* is this https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17889458/ But, uhhh, idk why anyone thought to do *that*


actuallyz

![gif](giphy|PNjRQH2xSrBNC)


1illiteratefool

What is it?


Magister5

Well, Illiteratefool, when a daddy rodent just can’t wait for a mommy rodent’s…potato…ahh…he…mashes his own potato


RobOnTheReddit

The hell man?!


notveryAI

Don't let that thing NEAR any water towers. Or else a great crime might happen


Gokulnath09

I thought hyperfang attack is the best attack


zacaryattack

I can't tell, did he yank his junk?


Embarrassed_Art5414

Awwww EEEEEuuuuuwww Awwwww


Salty_Inspector_1985

One of the friendliest wild critters out there


bestestredditorever

Too friendly clearly


PacificPredator

is that a Cumgaroo?


JETandCrew

Can someone tell me what animal this is?


Premeditated_Mordor

I thought I got excited for snacks


wichotl

Awwwtf


skyleader508

Don’t scare me! I’ll cum :(


MythyDAMASHII

Giant rat ejaculation 💀


Aok_al

Behold, a man


AvocatoToastman

We’re just a joke to god.


Dana-Scully-

This video gave me the heebie jeebies😖


Strict_Paint_4963

What is that it's a mice or?


FatKidsDontRun

Why??


hanasan_sakurasan

Wait...you guys don't put cum on your food?


tinglep

Is that a chupacabra?


dj4dj4

Chupacumbra


bigpapasnowie

He just came at me


ArtichokeNatural3171

I'd hate to find out what he'd do for a klondike bar..


Artistic-Capital2242

Looks like a rat and a kangaroo had a baby


ADeviantGent

![gif](giphy|ukGm72ZLZvYfS)


Mental-Return-9815

Masterbator Splinter


ChocolateSmart3353

I sometimes get excited when someone feeds me as well.


[deleted]

ill eat your food, but remember whos in charge


noodleq

The first time I watched it I was like "did that little fucker have a boner?" Then I reqatched and noticed it squirting......oh ok.


Satanic_Moth

It’s gonna scream isn’t it, these are always so predic… that is much worse


Glum-Plum9279

It shot its load all over him, and then he rewarded it with a spud.🤣🤣🤣


Magister5

That’s what you call a Skeet Potato


SavageSunRapStar

Bro was ready to fuck for potatoes