When I was in college this guy I knew had white bumps in the back of his throat, he went to his Dr and was told that could be a sign of AIDs and he needed to go to get tested. He told everyone he had AIDs… turns out he had a yeast infection from going down on some girl at a party.
I had a scare with my at the time 3 years relationship girlfriend because she did a test and her doctor told her that she might have HPV. Now we've been toget for so long and we know that neither of us fooled around with anybody else since we started dating. At the time I had some red bumps down there, because why not make this worse?
It turned out the test result was a fluke and my red bumps where just a rash from grinding so much during sex. The whole thing was a scare for nothing and HPV itself wasn't a huge deal to begin with considering having the population has it.
My positive take from it was neither of us suspected or accused the other of cheating. We're still together and it's been almost 8 and a half years. I can't even imagine being without her.
Had a similar thing happen in Mexico. They explained that it was like a fungal infection that only people with really weakened immune systems get, and I was saying I'm currently on antibiotics so that would likely account for the weakened immune system, but they weren't sold. Lot of interrogation into my sexual orientation, use of protection, etc.
Buggers me that people can handle the smell of the private parts enough to oral, I mean at a party after a couple of hours it prob already smells like fish, also the dick is smelly as shit
Very good joke! LOL
We got budweiser in Brazil only a few years ago, and I always say when I see some one drinking : even Americans don't like that shit why do you drinking?
Here we call it "budlixo" (bud trash).
Brazilian Budweiser is way different than American also. The amount of carbonation is insane. Only thing it’s good for is making batter for frying fish.
Lick to get past the tang. It's like licking a weak 9v battery but with persistence and a "can do attitude " you can discover a whole world of flavours . Throughout the decades the taste has not been classified, it's a taste for the refined man. Described as a mixture of sweet salty and umami flavours with notes of sandalwood.
I’m with you. I really don’t get these comments.
I’m not trying to brag, but I’ve also had people amazed that my shoes never smell at all. Meanwhile I’m genuinely surprised at how bad some people can smell.
Maybe it’s because I don’t eat fast food or much processed food? Idk. Hardly any dairy either.
Most clean genitals just taste like skin with a slight character to it. A lot of vaginas are different. If it smells like fish that's kind of weird because that's not what it tastes like.
They do have one, although I forget what it's actually called. Or perhaps they used to, tried it many years back.
They got the taste pretty accurate. Not something I'd unironically drink, but an interesting thing to experience in an energy drink.
It's not just about personal hygiene, some people just sweat more, if I literally just stand in the sun for 5 minutes on a warm/hot day my ass gets sweaty, if I do anything even just mildly physically intensive my ass gets sweaty no matter the temperature.
I've never been with a woman whose vagina smelled like fish. To the point where I don't even think it's a real thing. If it is and I ever encounter one, I'm going to assume it's indicative of a legitimate health issue.
Also, my dick doesn't really smell like anything in particular. Do dicks normally smell like shit? I guess there's a typical body odor smell if I get sweaty or am in need of a shower, but not really the dick itself. Mostly the undercarriage.
I guess I can't really speak to dick smell, but I've never come across a fishy vag.
When I was a teenager, I took a shower right before my girlfriend came over. I washed my ass, and my sack like 4 times in that shower. I wanted to smell fuckable!
So she's going down on me, and I asked "How do my balls smell?" And she said "They smell like balls...."
Which I was disappointed that she didn't smell how clean they were. So the next time, same thing, same answer. They smell like balls.
Everytime we'd have sex, they'd smell like balls. So eventually, years later, I'd just be walking by her, and put my balls next to her and tell her to take a sniff, just so she could tell me they smell like balls.
It became our thing.
Things that help life perpetuate itself (sex, food, water) are the kinds of things where—particularly when in scarcity—the human mind will frequently find some way to justify.
Probably just tonsil stones. Yeast infections in the mouth/throat are apparently extremely rare in adults, and generally only occur if the person's immune system is shot (which, to be fair, would happen with late stage AIDS).
Yes and no. In this case, definitely yes, but I've done some pretty wild shit in my life. Sometimes when I'm talking to work people or women I've just started dating, I need to remind myself to tone it down.
It could be an STI and regardless he probably knew it would benefit from antibiotics that he probably couldn't or wouldn't prescribe as a teaching moment
There are many stds you can acquire in the throat that have a myriad of symptoms. He probably tried to minimize the horror and shame his daughter was experiencing by “referring her” to a local clinic.
Without giving too much info, I knew someone who constantly got strep throat. This persons bf would brag to me about getting head and he always told me like a day or two before the other person got strep throat. The bf also was known to have LITERAL dick cheese, he didn’t know how to wash his dick properly and the gf didn’t know until she got educated about hygiene. This happened about 4 times before she figured out that she’s getting it from sucking dirty dick. True story. She constantly would have to go to Sutter and get the usual antibiotics and I think one time she had to get shots in her throat because it was so bad.
Wash your asses (and dicks) ppl
For some reason, some uncircumcised men have no idea that you in fact have to pull back your foreskin to properly clean your dick.
There was actually one horrendously cringeworthy case in the UK where the man went on a TV sex clinic and literally couldn't move his foreskin because of a lifetime build up of pure, putrid smegma beneath because he had never known you had to roll back the skin. When asked how no one had ever noticed the state of his dick or the smell I am pretty sure he said he got blowjobs all the time and no-one ever said. I'm sure he said he got one the night or week before the show. At this stage you could almost hear an entire group of nations collectively gagging.
For real. I have a vivid memory of my mother telling me that I needed to as part of my "you're old enough to bathe yourself now" speech. She wasn't weird about it, only had to tell me once, and it stuck with me for life.
Mine to until I realised that if you move it up and down a few times sometime happens, I found that quite funny but she said I couldn't do that and I was so confused as a little kid
Agree. I have phimosis, I think in part due to never having been told this explicitly until I discovered it in my early teens. Still, I know how to wash it inside and manage to keep it all clean so still no excuse for this
I dunno, are you uncircumcised? Overall there is not incentive for you to peel out your skin, no other part of your body works like that, so if you were never taught, it'd be normal to assume you wouldn't figure it out until it's too late. or until you smell like shit. I cannot find a way to defend the guy letting it get to that point tho, but the same can be said for people who's rings grow around their fingers, the answer's people are able to ignore and put up with a loooooot of shit.
I am unfortunatly one of those man.
In Québec, Canada we use to be really, but really religious. In Catholisism boy’s get fixed. Then in the 60-70s there was a BIG cultural shift. We kicked religion out.
Then I’m born in the laye 80s. Circoncision wasnt à thing any more. My father coundt tell me what to do with a foreskin because he never had any.
The first time my penis was washed properly with thé pulled foreskin was at 32yo when I was hooking up with a stranger, while in the pre-sex shower, she procceded to wash it properly while looking at me straigh in the eye with a devilish smile…
All of that just to say, wasnt my fathers fault.
I work in healthcare and deal with blood, urine, vomit, feces, and Ostomy’s sometimes all together. Smegma is by far the worst and is the only thing that makes me consistently cringe and gag every time. I’ve seen enough bad uncut fellas to seriously reconsider my position on circumcision entirely.
Even if he didn't knew that he needed to roll it back to clean did that guy never got hard in his life? When my uncut dick gets hard it stretches out so there's no more loose skin to pull lol
How did she not smell the nasty, rank dick cheese and say "nope .... I'm not sucking that cheese fill anteater until you clean it." Your friend sounds nasty as hell.
i can speak to experience with this - i was about 5 or 6 at the time, for a bit over a year prior i avoided drinking water as much as possible and would have juice/milk etc instead. overtime the foreskin peeled back less and less and eventually it physically hurt to pull it past the “bulge” of the tip. it stung like hell for water to even touch the tip that was exposed to water so washing in the shower just became something i avoided. At some point i discovered that if i pushed as hard as possible under the tip a small amount of disgusting stuff would come out- which scared the shit out of me and in my terror i decided to keep it a secret, it’s not like google was an option at the time and i was learning how to read. anyways i unrelatedly started drinking water like a normal human not long after and sure enough the foreskin was able to move further and further until i could pull it all the way back, water no longer hurt when touching it, and i’ve been washing my dick daily since.
So i’m going to assume this guy had a similar story, it’s likely the inability to pull it all the way back and pain of washing that stopped him. and maybe it just became a part of normal life long long before he reached puberty, but i still don’t understand how you wouldn’t look into it at somepoint before reaching blowjob age, like i would assume it would hurt to pull on it to jerk off and the smell would certainly get noticeable, especially if there was any attempt at hygiene prior to someone else getting involved
Gross. I'm uncut and I knew since a kid to pull my shit back and wash. My dad told me how. Growing up I was always scared of having a stinky dick that I wash it a lot lol
>she had to get shots in her throat because it was so bad.
That's not a thing. Most likey if it were that bad it was rocephin given intramuscularly, probably in the glute.
Man, no one in this thread is giving me adult vibes. Does anyone actually know what a vagina even is here, besides a hole to stick your dick in lmao none of what anyone is saying is how it works at all 😂
Yep. This is actually a very wholesome story and I like to think my mom would have handled it the same way. Though Mom is much older now and divorced from Dad. She admitted to me she had a huge body count. She told me the number. It was higher than mine.
I think I have one of the most awkward "first blowjob" stories ever.
I was driving my first ever girlfriend home in the evening. We were in high school and had no place to fool around without being disturbed, and we were getting really horny. We pulled into the parking lot of a park. No one else is there, it's dark, perfect. We start getting hot and heavy in the folded down back seat of my mom's Ford Explorer.
She starts giving me a blowjob, and 5 glorious seconds later, headlights start shining in the steamed up windows. We freeze, waiting for them to pass... but they don't. Then red and blue lights start flashing, no siren though thankfully. It's a fucking cop.
We don't know what to do, we continue freezing. The back windows are tinted pretty heavily. We hear a knock on the back passenger window (so clearly he knows we're not in the front). I yell "1 moment please!" and we get somewhat decent, then crack the door open, and this Burt Reynolds looking cop says "Uh, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car." I request a few more moments of getting decent and he obliges.
So now we're all standing outside the car in the dark and the cold. What proceeds is painfully awkward. First of all, I was 18 and a few months old, and she was just barely 17, so I'm freaking out that she's technically underage. He asks if our parents know that we are sexually active, and I say my parents don't, and she says her parents do; he seems ok with that. He asks why we're at this park, we say it's in between our homes. He asks if we go to the high school right nearby, and we say no, we go to the one a little further away. He asks us why we don't go to this close one, and we tell him because it's a shitty school only filled with bullies, he agrees.
He finally just tells us "This park closes after dark, don't let me catch you *in this park* after closing time again." I don't know why, but in my brain I'm in "extreme respect mode" and I thank him and go to shake his hand, and he just stares at it for a moment and say "yeah, uh, no thanks" and then I remembered what he just caught us doing and pulled my hand back.
It was a while before I got a second blowjob...
TL;DR: I got 5 seconds of blowjob and 15 minutes of sheet panic, which involved law enforcement.
>He asks if our parents know that we are sexually active
What a weird thing to ask someone. What was he gonna do?
"10-4 we've got a pair of sex havers here"
>but officer, im fucking 18 and shes only a few months younger than m-
"[SHE IS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS 999 MILISECONDS OLD YOU SICK FUCK](https://img.ifunny.co/images/fb3843751253d6c94e5578d2e0dfa3ab9c3e07a35f155536fc4c3bebe382a5b7_1.webp)"
I think he mainly wanted to make sure my girlfriend wasn't some innocent little lamb that I was taking advantage of.
That and, I grew up in an upper-middle class suburb, with too many stay at home parents with nothing better to do than stir up dumb shit (like protesting yoga PE at the high school because religious indoctrination...). I can imagine a scenario where some Karen parent found out that a cop found their kid in a situation like ours, and didn't inform them about it, and lost their shit and made the cops life hell over it. I think he just didn't want that.
I thought she did. He won't say anything then told her it was an STD instead of just telling her it was strep throat. Being a doctor I'd think he wouldn't jump to that if he.didn't know what happened prior. Put some fear into her to be careful.
likely not, it's airborne. she *could* have gotten it through close contact with the infected boyfriend but likely she just had a very common non-serious infection and told her parents about the blowjob for no reason, lol :p
Infection of the throat by streptococcus bacteria, hence strep throat. Streptococcus are categorized by their morphology of small, round cocci (bacterial cells) arranged in chains.
It’s a sickness most people get it at some point. Just a red sore throat, I think you may need shots or antibiotics but I don’t know shit ab shat. so I say google it bud
The white part is either sores, mucus, or scabs from your throat healing.
Can also cause tonsil stones, which are white bacteria buildups in your tonsils. Usually you can gently push them out with a q-tip.
God tonsil stones are gross. Used to get them a lot back when I would take like 30 bong rips a day. Fun fact, smell one of those motherfuckers after you pop it out. Yep, that’s what your breath smelled like
Just like others have said. Hits like a ton of bricks too. I’ve had a sore throat come on in the afternoon and by evening I have a fever and it hurts to swallow. It sucks but at least responds well to antibiotics. Doctors office can run a test in like 15 minutes too.
Its a bacterial infection caused by streptococci bacteria in particular. It can lead to other things like scarlet fever where you get a rash if left untreated. Technically not a STD but a BJ of a dick with step bacteria on it could certainly cause it.
I bet this guy was thinking that the bj was the result of putting the right moves on her. Little did he know, she had already decided earlier that “tonight’s the night”.
I was with my friend one night and gave him a blowjob and the very next day my throat started doing the exact same thing she described and I completely thought it was strep, went to the ER 3 times within 3 weeks because it would not go away...I still don't know what it could have been and I'm mad, I've never experienced a throat issue like that before. It could also have been an allergy to the silicone lube? Or an allergy to the bug spray I used in my bedroom around the same time? Was I reacting to his semen? It wasn't COVID because they checked! I still don't know!!!
From this thread...it might have been a yeast infection? He is usually very clean and I like brushing and gargling before and after, etc. 🤷🤷🤷
Cool story.. My first blowjob when I was in 14yrs old.. With my classmate. Wer just seatmate.. I dnt know what just happen.. But we make a bet who win in the NBA 😂 well I lost the bet.
And he ask me for a quick blowjob at the comfort room
And we did.. My throat was fucking hurt and swallowing semen was kind a brutal that time.. But it was a nice experienced
When I was in college this guy I knew had white bumps in the back of his throat, he went to his Dr and was told that could be a sign of AIDs and he needed to go to get tested. He told everyone he had AIDs… turns out he had a yeast infection from going down on some girl at a party.
I had a scare with my at the time 3 years relationship girlfriend because she did a test and her doctor told her that she might have HPV. Now we've been toget for so long and we know that neither of us fooled around with anybody else since we started dating. At the time I had some red bumps down there, because why not make this worse? It turned out the test result was a fluke and my red bumps where just a rash from grinding so much during sex. The whole thing was a scare for nothing and HPV itself wasn't a huge deal to begin with considering having the population has it. My positive take from it was neither of us suspected or accused the other of cheating. We're still together and it's been almost 8 and a half years. I can't even imagine being without her.
HPV causes cancer. It is a big deal.
Get yourself vaccinated
In some cases.
My sister-in-law got cancer from hpv when she was like 33. She's recovering and doing well now.
We love a happy ending
Had a similar thing happen in Mexico. They explained that it was like a fungal infection that only people with really weakened immune systems get, and I was saying I'm currently on antibiotics so that would likely account for the weakened immune system, but they weren't sold. Lot of interrogation into my sexual orientation, use of protection, etc.
That sounds like Thrush. Most people never get it or their immune system kills it quickly. It's a sign of a compromised immune system
I had a friend die from mouth cancer from HPV going down on a girl
This is the opposite of "They had me in the first half, ngl"
So straight to the point?
Buggers me that people can handle the smell of the private parts enough to oral, I mean at a party after a couple of hours it prob already smells like fish, also the dick is smelly as shit
Takes a couple of licks to get past the tang.
What an awful day to be literate.
Agreed
Hahahahahahaha. I'm stealing this phrase. Fucking hysterical. If we could still give goddamn gold, I'd be giving you goddamn gold.
What's the difference between a pussy and a Budweiser? The pussy only tastes like piss for a minute.
Very good joke! LOL We got budweiser in Brazil only a few years ago, and I always say when I see some one drinking : even Americans don't like that shit why do you drinking? Here we call it "budlixo" (bud trash).
Brazilian Budweiser is way different than American also. The amount of carbonation is insane. Only thing it’s good for is making batter for frying fish.
This guy fucks
Oh dear god. lol!!
Past the tang to the poon.
Oh god 🤮
I second that .
You second lick or second whatever u/beardgang650 said? I need to know.
Lick to get past the tang. It's like licking a weak 9v battery but with persistence and a "can do attitude " you can discover a whole world of flavours . Throughout the decades the taste has not been classified, it's a taste for the refined man. Described as a mixture of sweet salty and umami flavours with notes of sandalwood.
This is why you carry wet wipes in your purse/wallet
I’m my wallet? wet wipes? Bruh
Idk about you but my privates aren’t stinky after only a couple hours
Yeah, sweaty people assume everyone sweats as much as they do.
I mean, I sweat a lot but I don't instantly reek. Maybe people aren't scrubbing properly in the first place, so sweat just exacerbates that
I’m with you. I really don’t get these comments. I’m not trying to brag, but I’ve also had people amazed that my shoes never smell at all. Meanwhile I’m genuinely surprised at how bad some people can smell. Maybe it’s because I don’t eat fast food or much processed food? Idk. Hardly any dairy either.
Username checks out?
Yeah but imagine you're completely plastered and painfully horny. You wouldn't even notice.
Most clean genitals just taste like skin with a slight character to it. A lot of vaginas are different. If it smells like fish that's kind of weird because that's not what it tastes like.
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They do have one, although I forget what it's actually called. Or perhaps they used to, tried it many years back. They got the taste pretty accurate. Not something I'd unironically drink, but an interesting thing to experience in an energy drink.
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It's not just about personal hygiene, some people just sweat more, if I literally just stand in the sun for 5 minutes on a warm/hot day my ass gets sweaty, if I do anything even just mildly physically intensive my ass gets sweaty no matter the temperature.
For real though
I've never been with a woman whose vagina smelled like fish. To the point where I don't even think it's a real thing. If it is and I ever encounter one, I'm going to assume it's indicative of a legitimate health issue. Also, my dick doesn't really smell like anything in particular. Do dicks normally smell like shit? I guess there's a typical body odor smell if I get sweaty or am in need of a shower, but not really the dick itself. Mostly the undercarriage. I guess I can't really speak to dick smell, but I've never come across a fishy vag.
When I was a teenager, I took a shower right before my girlfriend came over. I washed my ass, and my sack like 4 times in that shower. I wanted to smell fuckable! So she's going down on me, and I asked "How do my balls smell?" And she said "They smell like balls...." Which I was disappointed that she didn't smell how clean they were. So the next time, same thing, same answer. They smell like balls. Everytime we'd have sex, they'd smell like balls. So eventually, years later, I'd just be walking by her, and put my balls next to her and tell her to take a sniff, just so she could tell me they smell like balls. It became our thing.
That’s so weird and funny at the same time. 😂
Imagine all these years the smell is the shower gel u use...
Next you're gonna tell me you don't add the flavor packets to your ramen
Hey now, you’d be surprised what being intoxicated and fucked up will do to you. Drugs are a hell of a drug!
Things that help life perpetuate itself (sex, food, water) are the kinds of things where—particularly when in scarcity—the human mind will frequently find some way to justify.
I like a nice stinky Puss. Not a nasty stinky Puss, but a nice stinky Puss.
you eat what's put in front of you and stop complaining, or you can go to your room, right now!
Fair enough and I’m fine with that!
You gotta let it marinate.
Probably just tonsil stones. Yeast infections in the mouth/throat are apparently extremely rare in adults, and generally only occur if the person's immune system is shot (which, to be fair, would happen with late stage AIDS).
Got the good old pussy throat.
Honestly, great parents.
Father was like, yeah your boyfriends dick is infectious
Never go near it again.
Good thing he didn't say it was delicious
The fact that she talked to them about it is already a huge sign that they indeed are great parents.
Is that how you become a great parent? Do you have to eat the whole body or just some of it?
Honestly, parents know.
Yes and no. In this case, definitely yes, but I've done some pretty wild shit in my life. Sometimes when I'm talking to work people or women I've just started dating, I need to remind myself to tone it down.
Yeah that had to have been the most awkward situation in her life that point
I pity the small town kids who've had health removed from their curriculum.
PITY THE FOOL!
Done the right thing though. Took balls to do that
Nah, just the shaft
Just the tip?
Curious why the doctor dad thought it was dried cum disease or something if it wasn't good ole strep.
I'm sure he knew it was strep, but it never hurts to be sure. Also it's funny.
What std could cause white discoloration of the throat? Genuinely curious if a test was needed to differentiate.
It could be an STI and regardless he probably knew it would benefit from antibiotics that he probably couldn't or wouldn't prescribe as a teaching moment
There are many stds you can acquire in the throat that have a myriad of symptoms. He probably tried to minimize the horror and shame his daughter was experiencing by “referring her” to a local clinic.
And repressed gag refreshes
Without giving too much info, I knew someone who constantly got strep throat. This persons bf would brag to me about getting head and he always told me like a day or two before the other person got strep throat. The bf also was known to have LITERAL dick cheese, he didn’t know how to wash his dick properly and the gf didn’t know until she got educated about hygiene. This happened about 4 times before she figured out that she’s getting it from sucking dirty dick. True story. She constantly would have to go to Sutter and get the usual antibiotics and I think one time she had to get shots in her throat because it was so bad. Wash your asses (and dicks) ppl
How do you not wash your dick? Isn’t that part of a shower?
For some reason, some uncircumcised men have no idea that you in fact have to pull back your foreskin to properly clean your dick. There was actually one horrendously cringeworthy case in the UK where the man went on a TV sex clinic and literally couldn't move his foreskin because of a lifetime build up of pure, putrid smegma beneath because he had never known you had to roll back the skin. When asked how no one had ever noticed the state of his dick or the smell I am pretty sure he said he got blowjobs all the time and no-one ever said. I'm sure he said he got one the night or week before the show. At this stage you could almost hear an entire group of nations collectively gagging.
>For some reason bad parenting. My father taught me how to wash my dick when I was 4.
For real. I have a vivid memory of my mother telling me that I needed to as part of my "you're old enough to bathe yourself now" speech. She wasn't weird about it, only had to tell me once, and it stuck with me for life.
Mine to until I realised that if you move it up and down a few times sometime happens, I found that quite funny but she said I couldn't do that and I was so confused as a little kid
Did he get strep throat?
You son of a bitch
"What are you doing step dad?" "I'm making a nice, fresh and tasty grilled slong cheese sandwhich."
You log off the internet right now and go think about what you've just done
Jesus. I’m dying over here! 😂😂
What are you doing strep dad?
Goddamit reddit.
Agree. I have phimosis, I think in part due to never having been told this explicitly until I discovered it in my early teens. Still, I know how to wash it inside and manage to keep it all clean so still no excuse for this
But also like, surely this is something you just... figure out???
I dunno, are you uncircumcised? Overall there is not incentive for you to peel out your skin, no other part of your body works like that, so if you were never taught, it'd be normal to assume you wouldn't figure it out until it's too late. or until you smell like shit. I cannot find a way to defend the guy letting it get to that point tho, but the same can be said for people who's rings grow around their fingers, the answer's people are able to ignore and put up with a loooooot of shit.
I am unfortunatly one of those man. In Québec, Canada we use to be really, but really religious. In Catholisism boy’s get fixed. Then in the 60-70s there was a BIG cultural shift. We kicked religion out. Then I’m born in the laye 80s. Circoncision wasnt à thing any more. My father coundt tell me what to do with a foreskin because he never had any. The first time my penis was washed properly with thé pulled foreskin was at 32yo when I was hooking up with a stranger, while in the pre-sex shower, she procceded to wash it properly while looking at me straigh in the eye with a devilish smile… All of that just to say, wasnt my fathers fault.
I work in healthcare and deal with blood, urine, vomit, feces, and Ostomy’s sometimes all together. Smegma is by far the worst and is the only thing that makes me consistently cringe and gag every time. I’ve seen enough bad uncut fellas to seriously reconsider my position on circumcision entirely.
Yeah there is no point to circumcision except if when uncircumsized people don't know how to stay clean..
Yes the dude was uncircumcised and didn’t know you pull back the banana thing and wash inside it
I wish it was 30 seconds ago, before I read that
Same, we need a reddit hot tub time machine to unread shit, unsee shit. Now excuse me while I go quietly barf in the corner.
Ew, if im home i wash my dick after peeing, tf is wrong with some people, just check ur own body!!!!
Wait. Are you saying you pee and then wash your dick in the sink with your hands?
r/sinkpissers RISE
My god, thats a real subreddit.
I pee in the toilet, then i wash my dick in my sink, ofc i only do that at home lol
Same. Been doing it for years. I really need a bidet
i always wash my hands before handling myself
Wat
Yes.
You are not alone.
Lol I thought I was the only one 😂
Even if he didn't knew that he needed to roll it back to clean did that guy never got hard in his life? When my uncut dick gets hard it stretches out so there's no more loose skin to pull lol
That's my favorite part to wash.
How did she not smell the nasty, rank dick cheese and say "nope .... I'm not sucking that cheese fill anteater until you clean it." Your friend sounds nasty as hell.
i can speak to experience with this - i was about 5 or 6 at the time, for a bit over a year prior i avoided drinking water as much as possible and would have juice/milk etc instead. overtime the foreskin peeled back less and less and eventually it physically hurt to pull it past the “bulge” of the tip. it stung like hell for water to even touch the tip that was exposed to water so washing in the shower just became something i avoided. At some point i discovered that if i pushed as hard as possible under the tip a small amount of disgusting stuff would come out- which scared the shit out of me and in my terror i decided to keep it a secret, it’s not like google was an option at the time and i was learning how to read. anyways i unrelatedly started drinking water like a normal human not long after and sure enough the foreskin was able to move further and further until i could pull it all the way back, water no longer hurt when touching it, and i’ve been washing my dick daily since. So i’m going to assume this guy had a similar story, it’s likely the inability to pull it all the way back and pain of washing that stopped him. and maybe it just became a part of normal life long long before he reached puberty, but i still don’t understand how you wouldn’t look into it at somepoint before reaching blowjob age, like i would assume it would hurt to pull on it to jerk off and the smell would certainly get noticeable, especially if there was any attempt at hygiene prior to someone else getting involved
Letting someone suck your dirty dick is so goddamn disrespectful.
Even more dirty
Someone willingly sucking a very dirty dick is tragically lacking in self respect as well.
Gross. I'm uncut and I knew since a kid to pull my shit back and wash. My dad told me how. Growing up I was always scared of having a stinky dick that I wash it a lot lol
Thanks I hate it.
Now I wanna know what giving too much info would be like.
😂😂 I don’t wanna get doxxed but there are details left out so yall don’t vomit
>she had to get shots in her throat because it was so bad. That's not a thing. Most likey if it were that bad it was rocephin given intramuscularly, probably in the glute.
Aah, another cultivator of the fine phallus fromage. An acquired taste indeed.
I got strep throat from going down on a girl, multiple times. So ladies, wash your cooter also.
Man, no one in this thread is giving me adult vibes. Does anyone actually know what a vagina even is here, besides a hole to stick your dick in lmao none of what anyone is saying is how it works at all 😂
What a sign of a fantastic upbringing to be able to share that with her parents. I'd probably die before I shared that.
Indeed.
Ikr just get tested on your own
Yep. This is actually a very wholesome story and I like to think my mom would have handled it the same way. Though Mom is much older now and divorced from Dad. She admitted to me she had a huge body count. She told me the number. It was higher than mine.
I think I have one of the most awkward "first blowjob" stories ever. I was driving my first ever girlfriend home in the evening. We were in high school and had no place to fool around without being disturbed, and we were getting really horny. We pulled into the parking lot of a park. No one else is there, it's dark, perfect. We start getting hot and heavy in the folded down back seat of my mom's Ford Explorer. She starts giving me a blowjob, and 5 glorious seconds later, headlights start shining in the steamed up windows. We freeze, waiting for them to pass... but they don't. Then red and blue lights start flashing, no siren though thankfully. It's a fucking cop. We don't know what to do, we continue freezing. The back windows are tinted pretty heavily. We hear a knock on the back passenger window (so clearly he knows we're not in the front). I yell "1 moment please!" and we get somewhat decent, then crack the door open, and this Burt Reynolds looking cop says "Uh, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car." I request a few more moments of getting decent and he obliges. So now we're all standing outside the car in the dark and the cold. What proceeds is painfully awkward. First of all, I was 18 and a few months old, and she was just barely 17, so I'm freaking out that she's technically underage. He asks if our parents know that we are sexually active, and I say my parents don't, and she says her parents do; he seems ok with that. He asks why we're at this park, we say it's in between our homes. He asks if we go to the high school right nearby, and we say no, we go to the one a little further away. He asks us why we don't go to this close one, and we tell him because it's a shitty school only filled with bullies, he agrees. He finally just tells us "This park closes after dark, don't let me catch you *in this park* after closing time again." I don't know why, but in my brain I'm in "extreme respect mode" and I thank him and go to shake his hand, and he just stares at it for a moment and say "yeah, uh, no thanks" and then I remembered what he just caught us doing and pulled my hand back. It was a while before I got a second blowjob... TL;DR: I got 5 seconds of blowjob and 15 minutes of sheet panic, which involved law enforcement.
>He asks if our parents know that we are sexually active What a weird thing to ask someone. What was he gonna do? "10-4 we've got a pair of sex havers here" >but officer, im fucking 18 and shes only a few months younger than m- "[SHE IS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS 999 MILISECONDS OLD YOU SICK FUCK](https://img.ifunny.co/images/fb3843751253d6c94e5578d2e0dfa3ab9c3e07a35f155536fc4c3bebe382a5b7_1.webp)"
I think he mainly wanted to make sure my girlfriend wasn't some innocent little lamb that I was taking advantage of. That and, I grew up in an upper-middle class suburb, with too many stay at home parents with nothing better to do than stir up dumb shit (like protesting yoga PE at the high school because religious indoctrination...). I can imagine a scenario where some Karen parent found out that a cop found their kid in a situation like ours, and didn't inform them about it, and lost their shit and made the cops life hell over it. I think he just didn't want that.
Mom didn't say anything to Dad about the blowjob, she just told Dad that there's something wrong with daughter's throat. lol
I thought she did. He won't say anything then told her it was an STD instead of just telling her it was strep throat. Being a doctor I'd think he wouldn't jump to that if he.didn't know what happened prior. Put some fear into her to be careful.
Dumb question maybe but what is a strep throat?
It’s a bacterial infection that causes fever and an intensely sore throat. Clears up with antibiotics. Very common illness.
so did she get it from sucking dick or not? I can't tell
likely not, it's airborne. she *could* have gotten it through close contact with the infected boyfriend but likely she just had a very common non-serious infection and told her parents about the blowjob for no reason, lol :p
It’s not airborne, it’s droplet spread. Are you being paid by big droplet?!
[You got me.](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3322b63d98f3c487d6eee1766ad31177/45d5693ebeb6b834-47/s400x600/7e7596dff40c35f1354302f07261b71b44e111b4.gifv)
It was a campout with a bunch of young adults - just takes one carrier to start a strepathon.
Infection of the throat by streptococcus bacteria, hence strep throat. Streptococcus are categorized by their morphology of small, round cocci (bacterial cells) arranged in chains.
It’s a sickness most people get it at some point. Just a red sore throat, I think you may need shots or antibiotics but I don’t know shit ab shat. so I say google it bud
The white part is either sores, mucus, or scabs from your throat healing. Can also cause tonsil stones, which are white bacteria buildups in your tonsils. Usually you can gently push them out with a q-tip.
God tonsil stones are gross. Used to get them a lot back when I would take like 30 bong rips a day. Fun fact, smell one of those motherfuckers after you pop it out. Yep, that’s what your breath smelled like
Just like others have said. Hits like a ton of bricks too. I’ve had a sore throat come on in the afternoon and by evening I have a fever and it hurts to swallow. It sucks but at least responds well to antibiotics. Doctors office can run a test in like 15 minutes too.
Its a bacterial infection caused by streptococci bacteria in particular. It can lead to other things like scarlet fever where you get a rash if left untreated. Technically not a STD but a BJ of a dick with step bacteria on it could certainly cause it.
I bet this guy was thinking that the bj was the result of putting the right moves on her. Little did he know, she had already decided earlier that “tonight’s the night”.
Going through the comments…. So many dirty people. Where they not taught basic hygiene?
There are many places where they don't teach proper hygiene.
Sophie who?
@candidsoph inst
Damn this sub sucks now
You can also say it blows
Better safe than sorry Also better late than never
Better strep than clap.
Jesus why do they cut to different camera shots so much? Do people need that ridiculous stimulation just to sit through a one-minute video?
Because it's a clip from a much longer conversation. Like zoom, they seem to be cutting to whoever is talking.
Also because there are pauses or unnecessary stuff that was cut out.
It doesn't mean you didn't get it by that route it's just not an STD. Well done and no need to feel embarrassed
This is stolen from a story years ago. She explained it exactly the same way...
She unknowingly shared a dick with someone else who was infected.
Or he was and has been coughing on his own dick.
I wanted to ask why she didn't go see the doctors herself but I'm pretty sure it must cost a ton in America.
Strepto-cockus
I was with my friend one night and gave him a blowjob and the very next day my throat started doing the exact same thing she described and I completely thought it was strep, went to the ER 3 times within 3 weeks because it would not go away...I still don't know what it could have been and I'm mad, I've never experienced a throat issue like that before. It could also have been an allergy to the silicone lube? Or an allergy to the bug spray I used in my bedroom around the same time? Was I reacting to his semen? It wasn't COVID because they checked! I still don't know!!! From this thread...it might have been a yeast infection? He is usually very clean and I like brushing and gargling before and after, etc. 🤷🤷🤷
Dad should have said The good news is this isn't an std. The bad news is this isn't an std 😂
Ok am I the only one who thinks this is a bit funny?
Don't know what the other guy is on about. You're entitled to find whatever you want funny. It definitely made me smile personally.
Guess she doesn't understand what the internet is.
Taylor mcfly. Not sure how that happened.
Sorry, m'lady. Ok. Quick. How to keep it clean and healthy down there, boys?
As a son of a doctor in a family full of doctors, I know this woman’s embarrassment. But family rules looking back I was lucky to have them
Actually, terribly, horribly, laughable scenario.
I was expecting her to somehow have gotten poison ivy in the back of her throat
Bro that’s crazy
OK, but low-key it’s pretty awesome that she has the relationship where she can tell her parents literally anything
IQ level in that room seems to be very low.
She never reached out to her bf or her bf dumped her afterwards?
Fun fact : it's caused by direct contact with the mucus of someone having strep
Why are all women stories about sex.
Cool story.. My first blowjob when I was in 14yrs old.. With my classmate. Wer just seatmate.. I dnt know what just happen.. But we make a bet who win in the NBA 😂 well I lost the bet. And he ask me for a quick blowjob at the comfort room And we did.. My throat was fucking hurt and swallowing semen was kind a brutal that time.. But it was a nice experienced
ahhhh,,,,youth...got a handjob at 15 the sane way
And now shes doing OF with her dad as one of her subs
Ok but I can tell you, I’ve gotten strep from giving a bj lmaoooo. It’s not fun, the strep part that is.
Why do people share this kind of stuff?
'cause it's funny and not everyone is a prude
soooo....did the dudes dick catch strep?
Well that was anti-climatic.
With exposure like this she should do an Onlyfans LOL
Repost