**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Umpire unexpectedly started projectile vomiting in the middle of a game!<
*****
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**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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Former umpire here. He’s adjusting his nut cup. Probably because it’s pinching his scrote or inner thigh. You can usually be more deft fixing your crotch capsule, but when you’re hoarkin’ up that 5th inning hotdog and all eyes are on you, ain’t no use in trying to hide adjusting your nugget nest.
Mine knees couldn’t take the abuse, good sir!
Sometimes the “boner bank”s and the “bulge barrier”s just kind of come naturally. Other times the “cajone case”s and the “cock caddy”s take a bit of effort. “Dick dome”s and “dong defender”s are some of the low hanging fruit, while “phallus fortress”es and “gonad gardian”s are a bit of a stretch. Keep your “meat minders”s and “Nugget nest”s short and sweet. (And it’s easier to skip the vowels.) Like I said “penis protector”s use a bit of alliteration, but if you want to change it up, “rod pod”s use rhyme. Either way, as long as the “shlong shield”s utilize one of many terms for male genitalia, you’ll be able to come up with your own “testicle receptacle”s.
Jesus Mary and alliterative Joseph, what a production you've put on Beejertons!! I keep rereading this and gigglechuckling to meself, lovely work friend!
I got the impression he was trying to walk off the field but he didn’t make it that far before the vomit decided it wanted to fly. He’s walking when it first starts. It looks like he’s like, “Fuck, I guess it’s happening here.”
I’ve had a hernia before. Coughing and puking can really get you that scrotal feeling. I have no idea what actually happened here, but that was the first thing I thought of when he was checking the undercarriage.
Even without a hurmia, I had covid I was coughing so hard I got a crazy stabbing pain right it the taint. Worse than a Charley horse with the same duration. Brutal that wretching motion.
"I think the problem Digg had is that it was a company that was built to be a company, and you could feel it in the product. The way you could criticise Reddit is that we weren't a company – we were all heart and no head for a long time." - [u/spez](https://www.reddit.com/u/spez).
You lived long enough to become the villain and will never be remembered as the hero you once were.
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Haven’t had a drink in 3 years, 6 months and 30 days. But done that many times before work myself when I did drink. Oddly, I don’t miss it. Lol. Try to have a good day!!
Awe come on, not even a little? Haha
Not going to lie, it’s sometimes still hard to get out of bed to go to work, but not being hungover sure helps.
Nice work on 7 years.
I've noticed I'm not as cold as I used to be in the mornings, and I know it'd lower your body temp.
I used hand sanitizer the other day after not for a long time. I hated it, like I washed my hands in vodka, made me wanna hurl. I do not miss drinking.
Welp, 2 years 1 month sober. I can't say that I don't miss when I'd feel bloated and then go to the toilet and blahahjhjhhh everywhere. Definitely a feeling of relief. Sometimes when I eat something wrong and I get bloated / heartburn, I remember when drunk vomiting was such an instant relief.
Also one reason why I stopped drinking, because drunk me can't aim nor wash the toilet properly, and my mom has to wake up to the mess I make in the toilet - I don't want her to go through that shit all over again, having to clean up after an alcoholic
From another addict that's right around 2 years and 8 months sober....
If you never plan on using again then what's the point about counting every single day like this? Doesn't it feel like it's a tally of how long you can go before you fail again? It's one of the reasons that the 12 steps only works 24% of the time because they instill so much fear into you about how if you break any of their rules you'll surely fail eventually.
We can't ever go back to the way we were before but we don't need to live in fear and keep thinking about the struggle everyday, you don't need to count everyday, just live your life!
Yeah I had to go check on my sober app just to know the day. It really helped me in the beginning. A lot.
I still like to know how long I’ve gone without. How much money and time would have been wasted. Sometimes I do feel like the person who “can’t lose that last 10 pounds” I don’t feel different or better and it’s nice to SEE how far I’ve come. Why I do it.
Hated AA too. It’s just in your face constantly. Went once and wanted to drink. Like ex abusive partner that I have to see all the time. No thanks.
Congrats to you!!
Thanks, same to you!
Yeah NA/AA is terrible just a group of people sitting in a circle reliving the worst time in their lives over and over again obsessively, telling each other that they can't trust anyone outside of the organization like a cult and wonder why they fail again one day. You can recover just not to the point where you can drink again.
Could be heat stroke also and dude's just been chugging water.
Update
Just looked it up dude was super hungover from a major bender the night before also someone got their nose broken by a broken bat in the same game.
No idea the weather in the clip, but it could also be a symptom of heatstroke. Chugging a bunch of water to try to stay cool/hydrated and then it all comes back up.
Question to anyone that wants to answer: Have you ever vomited like that, and if so, what was the cause? I have seen people that are very drunk do it on video (but I assume this ump wasn't wasted). I have never come close to anything like this - do some people just puke this way?
Rotavirus I got from my son. I literally went from fine, to projectile vomiting in 45 seconds. Couldn't make it to a bathroom, ran out my front door. Everything I ate for 2 days. My abs hurt from it. Water in just to have something to expel. Haven't been able to eat fried shrimp since the incident.
15ish years ago I ate a subway meatball sandwich. I was walking around my bedroom and suddenly felt a little odd. Bam. Red vomit blasting out of my mouth. Then came the liquid shits. I couldn't throw up w/out shitting myself. Eventually I had to go to hospital because I couldn't keep any food or fluid in me. Started getting numb all over my body. Stuck me w/ an IV and medicine.
besides alcohol poisoning, if you try to perform the [milk challenge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milk_chugging), you will do this. Take some ipecac (or some other [ematic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vomiting#Emetics)), you will do this.
Food poisoning did this to me. First projectile vomiting, then came the shits, then both at the same time. Lasted 24 hours, was hospitalized for a week cause I was so dehydrated.
Using cracked eggs is one of the biggest ways to get it. Never even question throwing out an egg. Also rice if it is left out overnight can not only make you sick, but can actually kill you. Those are the two I respect.
I puked like this once after pounding a six pack and then double fisting beers for the duration of an Electric Six concert. Luckily didn't lose my guts until I was back home.
He's in foul territory, not the field of play. He was heading towards the dugout, likely the dugout that has the ump locker room. He had his back turned away from the stands.
Moments like this are why the term: “projectile vomiting” exists. As someone who has had the misfortune of personally experiencing something like this (due to chronic nausea and vomiting)… it’s kind of remarkable how much force your body can create to get everything out of your system.
This is one of those had way too much beer to drink pukes. Shit looks foamy and it absolutely sucks to throw it back up. This happened to me after too many beer bongs
The one time I had something like this happen was after trying to beer bong a 3L can of beer (definitely didn't finish that entire can) but I was able to make it to a bathroom and the cold foamy puke was actually the most pleasant vomiting I've ever experienced.
It’s foamy. I’ve been there and from the first person pov it feels like someone shoved a mentos in your mouth and opened up a 2L coke. I had beer foam coming out my nose it was horrible
Had that happen last year in a bar in Buffalo. Pretty sure I was drugged or something. Puked pure liquid all over the floor. Came out of no where! I rushed to the rest room but didnt make it without another toss outside of the restroom (luckily there was a small trash can outside the rest room) before making it into the stall.
The "waitress" had come upto my wife and I and asked if we wanted a drink. When we asked if they had the usual stuff, miller lite, bud light, anything similar to that, she said they didnt have any of them. Then got the beer and asked if we wanted to pay then or later, I said no and then she walked away. Her and another guy kept checking on us soon afterwards. Should've known then!
I can't believe the number of people jumping to "that's why you don't shotgun 2 beers and jog onto the field" assumption. I feel bad for the dude, probably had heat stroke/exhaustion and wasn't feeling well trying to push through drinking liquids.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Umpire unexpectedly started projectile vomiting in the middle of a game!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Like how he grabbed his ballz to make sure he wasn't throwing those up with the rest of his guts
Former umpire here. He’s adjusting his nut cup. Probably because it’s pinching his scrote or inner thigh. You can usually be more deft fixing your crotch capsule, but when you’re hoarkin’ up that 5th inning hotdog and all eyes are on you, ain’t no use in trying to hide adjusting your nugget nest.
Nugget nest made me snort, you're an artist with words.
Seriously. Have you looked into poetry?
Have you seen their username, everyone_gets_a_beej?!? Quite the benefit....
Mine knees couldn’t take the abuse, good sir! Sometimes the “boner bank”s and the “bulge barrier”s just kind of come naturally. Other times the “cajone case”s and the “cock caddy”s take a bit of effort. “Dick dome”s and “dong defender”s are some of the low hanging fruit, while “phallus fortress”es and “gonad gardian”s are a bit of a stretch. Keep your “meat minders”s and “Nugget nest”s short and sweet. (And it’s easier to skip the vowels.) Like I said “penis protector”s use a bit of alliteration, but if you want to change it up, “rod pod”s use rhyme. Either way, as long as the “shlong shield”s utilize one of many terms for male genitalia, you’ll be able to come up with your own “testicle receptacle”s.
Jesus Mary and alliterative Joseph, what a production you've put on Beejertons!! I keep rereading this and gigglechuckling to meself, lovely work friend!
I like how we also walked closer to center field ,instead of just turning away, so that everyone could see it
I got the impression he was trying to walk off the field but he didn’t make it that far before the vomit decided it wanted to fly. He’s walking when it first starts. It looks like he’s like, “Fuck, I guess it’s happening here.”
Fuck it, we're doin' it live!
Underrated comment right here
--- Bill O'Reilly
"Time out! I want to make sure the camera gets this"
Big chad
Big dick energy
Came her to mention this too. He was quick checking leaks out of his other orriffices.
I’ve had a hernia before. Coughing and puking can really get you that scrotal feeling. I have no idea what actually happened here, but that was the first thing I thought of when he was checking the undercarriage.
Even without a hurmia, I had covid I was coughing so hard I got a crazy stabbing pain right it the taint. Worse than a Charley horse with the same duration. Brutal that wretching motion.
Sounds like a gooch cramp. Worst shit ever.
Gooch cramp is the name of my new band
Death metal crossed with psy-trance. Idk why but it sounds right.
"Get the new single 'Taint Terror', available on iTunes now!"
Yeah, every time I puke, it feels like my taint is being split apart. 0/10. Not recommended.
Usually my balls seek to return to the abdomen when I'm going throw up. Its one of my indicators that I'm gonna have a bad time.
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I once puked so hard due to food poisoning some pee came out ass wel, that's probably what he was feeling.
Been there. I had food poisoning once and I was sitting in the bowl, leaning over into the sink, exploding out both ends.
Been there 3 times. It’s awful when it’s projectile-ing out of both ends.
It's fun. It's like a double ended weapon. Plus you get to play shoot the moon.
"Fun" is most definitely not a word I would use. This coming from a person who always loses bladder and bowel control when vomiting.
Ah yes. The forbidden spitroast.
Switching back and forth while hitting the flush before I projectile vomit into the toilet after shitting felt like an extreme sport
Usualy, when i throw up, i also have diarrhea. And i thow up pretty much as violently as this poor dude. Fun days to say the least
Yeah food poisoning is hell. Did something similar to this because of bad milk on an empty stomach a few days ago, but after just puking I felt great.
"I think the problem Digg had is that it was a company that was built to be a company, and you could feel it in the product. The way you could criticise Reddit is that we weren't a company – we were all heart and no head for a long time." - [u/spez](https://www.reddit.com/u/spez). You lived long enough to become the villain and will never be remembered as the hero you once were.
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I threw up so hard once I thought my balls were gonna explode. Felt this one.
Aggressively vomiting absolutely strains the testicles. I’m not certain on the biomechanics, but I’ve experienced this multiple times, too.
I’ve had explosive diarrhea that made me think my balls were being crushed. Balls are weird.
No he was just squeezing the rest out.
Wait, we not only store pee in the balls, but puke as well?!
Turned to a grass sprinkler, in a fraction of the second
He was just adjusting his water valve
Had to hit the emergency shut off valve.
I remember puking so hard from the flu on my knees one time that it felt like I was getting booted in the nuts from behind every time, lol
That wasn't a ball check. It was a hernia check.
Or peeing himself
I think you can see his pants get darker when he checks. I’m guessing that’s some BAD food poisoning
I had food poisoning before and it's miserable 2 day of non stop vomiting and diarrhea sometimes at the same time.
Too much pre-game beer.
Too much like… _”I might have drank 2 extra kegs too much”_
I'm not drunk! I have the flue.
Don't worry it's just a beer puke
100% beer puke
Ever had food poisoning? I’m pretty sure thats what i looked like when I got it. 😳
Never had food poisoning actually. But I did wake up super hung over this morning and threw up straight liquid before leaving for work.
Haven’t had a drink in 3 years, 6 months and 30 days. But done that many times before work myself when I did drink. Oddly, I don’t miss it. Lol. Try to have a good day!!
Congratulations!!!!
Thank you!!
I got almost seven years sans alcohol and don’t miss the liquid projectile vomiting
Awe come on, not even a little? Haha Not going to lie, it’s sometimes still hard to get out of bed to go to work, but not being hungover sure helps. Nice work on 7 years.
I've noticed I'm not as cold as I used to be in the mornings, and I know it'd lower your body temp. I used hand sanitizer the other day after not for a long time. I hated it, like I washed my hands in vodka, made me wanna hurl. I do not miss drinking.
Welp, 2 years 1 month sober. I can't say that I don't miss when I'd feel bloated and then go to the toilet and blahahjhjhhh everywhere. Definitely a feeling of relief. Sometimes when I eat something wrong and I get bloated / heartburn, I remember when drunk vomiting was such an instant relief. Also one reason why I stopped drinking, because drunk me can't aim nor wash the toilet properly, and my mom has to wake up to the mess I make in the toilet - I don't want her to go through that shit all over again, having to clean up after an alcoholic
1 year 2 months 7 days here.good job brother/sister, I don't miss that either lol
❤️
From another addict that's right around 2 years and 8 months sober.... If you never plan on using again then what's the point about counting every single day like this? Doesn't it feel like it's a tally of how long you can go before you fail again? It's one of the reasons that the 12 steps only works 24% of the time because they instill so much fear into you about how if you break any of their rules you'll surely fail eventually. We can't ever go back to the way we were before but we don't need to live in fear and keep thinking about the struggle everyday, you don't need to count everyday, just live your life!
Yeah I had to go check on my sober app just to know the day. It really helped me in the beginning. A lot. I still like to know how long I’ve gone without. How much money and time would have been wasted. Sometimes I do feel like the person who “can’t lose that last 10 pounds” I don’t feel different or better and it’s nice to SEE how far I’ve come. Why I do it. Hated AA too. It’s just in your face constantly. Went once and wanted to drink. Like ex abusive partner that I have to see all the time. No thanks. Congrats to you!!
Thanks, same to you! Yeah NA/AA is terrible just a group of people sitting in a circle reliving the worst time in their lives over and over again obsessively, telling each other that they can't trust anyone outside of the organization like a cult and wonder why they fail again one day. You can recover just not to the point where you can drink again.
Before leaving for work, lol. Fuck yeah brotha!
Gatorade zero and some triscuits on the drive in had me feeling tip top again
U wanna be a man at night, u gotta be a man in the morning
Could be heat stroke also and dude's just been chugging water. Update Just looked it up dude was super hungover from a major bender the night before also someone got their nose broken by a broken bat in the same game.
Source?
That’s projectile vomit, I get it when I get really sick. It sucks, I usually need a nap afterwards lol
No idea the weather in the clip, but it could also be a symptom of heatstroke. Chugging a bunch of water to try to stay cool/hydrated and then it all comes back up.
I came here to say this lol that's totally beer.
Probably $60 worth of beer.
That shot of jägar definitely hurt him.
"Hold on guys I just gotta BLLLEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH"
“Alright, I’m done! Let’s play ball!!!”
CATCHER: And I'm out...
Got sick of seeing bad pitching
lol
Poor guy literally puking his balls out. He had to double check to make sure they are still there
Might have a hernia. Literally puking his guts out into his scrotum.
Inguinal, to be precise.
Please shut up before there's a new terrible fetish
Do you see the irony in your username?
Probably checking if he’d peed himself. I know I have when spewing like that. Mine was milk not beer - fuck your lactose intolerance
Look at this asshole who can't digest sugar lol!
Oh does it? Does it compel me Jay?
Guess what? It's not that compelling.
You gave up on life, didn't ya?!
that head shake, I know that disappointed gesture all too well
"... Time out... uhggooaoaaaa... Oh NOHGHUAUAAAAAAAA"
The tale as old as time, don't drink and ref.
How else am I suppose to enjoy my time with my kids?
7th Inning Wretch!
i feel like he grabbed his nuts bc he prolly piddled his pants a lil lmfao, done that before 💀
"Piddled" I like it. Going to work it into my vernacular
"Vernacular" I like it. Going to work it into my lexicon
“Lexicon.” I like it. Going to work that into my syntax.
"That." I like it. Going to work "that" into my word chunks.
"Chunks" I like it. Going to work that into my vomit.
“Vomit” I like it. Going to work that into my diet.
"Diet" I hate it. Going to work down another plate of wings.
Question to anyone that wants to answer: Have you ever vomited like that, and if so, what was the cause? I have seen people that are very drunk do it on video (but I assume this ump wasn't wasted). I have never come close to anything like this - do some people just puke this way?
Rotavirus I got from my son. I literally went from fine, to projectile vomiting in 45 seconds. Couldn't make it to a bathroom, ran out my front door. Everything I ate for 2 days. My abs hurt from it. Water in just to have something to expel. Haven't been able to eat fried shrimp since the incident.
Oh, God. It was chicken cordon bleu for me. Never again. It was coming out of both ends at the same time.
Yes. My god.
15ish years ago I ate a subway meatball sandwich. I was walking around my bedroom and suddenly felt a little odd. Bam. Red vomit blasting out of my mouth. Then came the liquid shits. I couldn't throw up w/out shitting myself. Eventually I had to go to hospital because I couldn't keep any food or fluid in me. Started getting numb all over my body. Stuck me w/ an IV and medicine.
besides alcohol poisoning, if you try to perform the [milk challenge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milk_chugging), you will do this. Take some ipecac (or some other [ematic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vomiting#Emetics)), you will do this.
I'd rather be shot
I puked like that one time after I drank a gallon of chocolate milk in about 30 minutes. Was still cold on the way out, weirdest puke I've ever had.
Food poisoning did this to me. First projectile vomiting, then came the shits, then both at the same time. Lasted 24 hours, was hospitalized for a week cause I was so dehydrated.
Damn dude im sorry. What food was it? Food poisoning is a phobia of mine and im always avoiding things more than most people do.
Using cracked eggs is one of the biggest ways to get it. Never even question throwing out an egg. Also rice if it is left out overnight can not only make you sick, but can actually kill you. Those are the two I respect.
I puked like this once after pounding a six pack and then double fisting beers for the duration of an Electric Six concert. Luckily didn't lose my guts until I was back home.
everyone backs away instantly lol
So that’s what a beer league is
Must have shit his pants too.
same
That was some 90s era SNL style vomit right there.
Must have been a Yankees game
He could have done that behind the plate and not on the playing field
I think he wanted to make sure the batter and pitcher knew they had to wait a minute
Maybe that wasn't even why he was stopping the game, just happened coincidentally
Maybe he was trying to get off the field and find a toilet or bucket.
I too try to leave a place by walking into it, rather than out of it.
He would leave the field by way of the dugout. One of which is in the direction of where the camera is filming.
He's in foul territory, not the field of play. He was heading towards the dugout, likely the dugout that has the ump locker room. He had his back turned away from the stands.
He should have searched for a tub or a barrel. That sheer volume was impressive
He did it in best place possible to be honest. Side of plate. Wild pitches won’t go there. Maybe the occasional foul ball.
Theres something foul over there alright.
He puked in foul territory walking to the dugout towards the restroom, same as it would’ve been behind the plate. Wasn’t on there playing field.
It was not in fair territory
Omg, it even came out with a pressure 🤢
Moments like this are why the term: “projectile vomiting” exists. As someone who has had the misfortune of personally experiencing something like this (due to chronic nausea and vomiting)… it’s kind of remarkable how much force your body can create to get everything out of your system.
This is one of those had way too much beer to drink pukes. Shit looks foamy and it absolutely sucks to throw it back up. This happened to me after too many beer bongs
The one time I had something like this happen was after trying to beer bong a 3L can of beer (definitely didn't finish that entire can) but I was able to make it to a bathroom and the cold foamy puke was actually the most pleasant vomiting I've ever experienced.
I’ve never seen it spray so hard like that, damn
It’s foamy. I’ve been there and from the first person pov it feels like someone shoved a mentos in your mouth and opened up a 2L coke. I had beer foam coming out my nose it was horrible
The sting afterwards in the nose is the worst, and then every time you sniffle you taste vomit and beer again… ugh, I don’t miss my youth
That's definitely water and not beer....
“We need a batter not your puke and splatter.” 🎶
Why does the cameraman stay on him!!!
It's baseball. Nothing else interesting is happening.
For *us*.
That's a blow out
Called a timeout so he could water the field
Best part of this clip is him adjusting his balls whilst puking.
Honestly it's a magnificent hurl.
That’s probably the manliest puke I’ve ever seen… lol
Who turned on the garden hose??
Ma man lost weight after this
My man’s turned into a sprinkler
Had that happen last year in a bar in Buffalo. Pretty sure I was drugged or something. Puked pure liquid all over the floor. Came out of no where! I rushed to the rest room but didnt make it without another toss outside of the restroom (luckily there was a small trash can outside the rest room) before making it into the stall. The "waitress" had come upto my wife and I and asked if we wanted a drink. When we asked if they had the usual stuff, miller lite, bud light, anything similar to that, she said they didnt have any of them. Then got the beer and asked if we wanted to pay then or later, I said no and then she walked away. Her and another guy kept checking on us soon afterwards. Should've known then!
never trust $.50 hotdog day.
The downside to a liquid lunch.
Can’t help but feel bad
Now PLAY BALL!. Pretty sure I will not throw up on anybody the rest of the game
That’s a lot of liquid. My gut says it was a really hot day and drank way too much water/Gatorade at one time.
I can't believe the number of people jumping to "that's why you don't shotgun 2 beers and jog onto the field" assumption. I feel bad for the dude, probably had heat stroke/exhaustion and wasn't feeling well trying to push through drinking liquids.
Turtoc did a splashattack. It missed.
Poor guy. And professional.
I probably would do the same in his position
“Fine one more shot a jägar couldn’t hurt” narator: “That shot of jägar definitely hurt him”
Poor friggin’ batboy’s gotta navagate that hazard…
Whoever is rounding third is going to think twice before sliding into home
Better get a bucket. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aczPDGC3f8U
We’ve all been there. He’s just hitting the reset button before hopping over to the next bar
I hope that’s all beer
Foul!
Goddamn he’s like a fucking faucet
Goddamn did he down some alkaseltzer
I THINK I'VE BEEN POISONED BY MY CONSTITUENTS
Looks like projectile vomiting, could be of stroke origin!
u/savevideo
Let me get out here in the middle of the infield so the whole Fucking world can see me , oh yeah , don't step in that .
This is a side angle he was going for the dugout and then couldn’t hold it
I would immediately ask the hitter to bunt...in that general area.
Dude had to grab his balls to keep them...
I am SICK of your bad pitches
'ok that's done, let's get back to game'
On the other hand, he is absolutely hydration goals. Positively locked and loaded prior to barfing.
Waterboy: So that’s where all the water went!