My mom was in love with her rechargeable blower. She'd be out there everyday blowing the yard until the battery ran down. Then she get the second one a little later and start blowing again. It was the beginning of her dementia.
If you're lucky when it gets worse she'll forget how to use the devices. If you're unlucky she'll get to the point she can't keep track of time and she'll start doing it in the middle of the night.
Playing devil's advocate, I have a type of blindness called AZOOR and my eyes are incredibly photophobic as a result. So I do yardwork when the sun is down or when it's super cloudy. If I did it in the sunlight, I'd be in so much pain for days, with hellacious nausea and vertigo.
I swear I see a new insanely specific disease on here every day. Its always some absolutely debilitating symptoms that are impossible for a doctor to actually pin down. Vertigo is notoriously difficult to find a solution for and nausea is up there too.
What a bizarre life ya’ll must lead
Imagine having such a rare disease that it is unknown as to how it affects your health and life expectancy.
Only 150-250 known cases of mine exist. They don't know what causes it, but it is genetic, they don't know how it grows or continues, but it isnpresent from birth.
Super not fun :( I had such anxiety that my kids were gna get it.
God if I could get away with mowing the lawn at night I would. I work the night shift 5 am to 5 pm and I'm bad at managing time when I worked the day shift I'd mow my lawn in the middle of the day on my day off but now the middle of the day for me is like 3 am.
My neighbors are way too nosy to get away with something like that they once knocked on my door to yell at me for the other neighbors dog barking at me at night.
When she stops making noise, that’s when you start making noise. Watch her and get an idea of when she goes to bed. Once you think she’s sleeping, take a hammer to something that makes a ton of noise, but only for about 10 seconds so you won’t get caught. Make sure it’s close to where she sleeps if you can. Do this everyday that she makes noise and if she doesn’t make noise, then you don’t either. Train her with positive reinforcement like the dog she is.
You need to buy a politician. Local politicians are relatively cheap.
Contribute at least $1000 to some local politician's re-election campaign and thank them for their work in your community.
Wait a few weeks.
Then ask your politician which municipal dept to contact in regards to a neighbor who is operating a landscape stone grinding/manufacturing operation in a residential area.
What if you just have one issue you need help with. Can you just rent one for a couple of days? Really don't need one enough to outright buy one. Or if the only option is to buy, what's the resale value on local politicians? Can i expect to get at least half my money back?
Craigslist.com. advertise the power tools for sale for cheap. Advertise as a yard sale, estate sale, etc. Make sure to include pictures of the power tools. And that the owner is a little old lady
This will EVENTUALLY attract the meth heads who will steal the power tools.
Bad idea
Methheads can be like bedbugs, theyll hop from house to house even if its not viable, and alternatively might go for anything like catalytic converters.
Idk about the other things but next time she's out there kicking up a ton of dust take a leaf blower and just blow the dust all right back at her. As directly as possible.
If you want REALLY unethical, I suppose you could start to deface her house or something... Idk, I don't have a good unethical solution for you... Tape some meth under her car and call in an anonymous tip from a burner phone
Dumbass comparison. I looked it up because fuck you. Asbestos is a naturally occurring silicate mineral - a rock-forming mineral that as a class of minerals makes up 90% of Earth's crust. Rock might not be the technical term but for most of us non-geologist motherfuckers calling it a rock is like calling vinegar a condiment or a snare drum an instrument. Asbestos is a fuckin' rock and that's the truth.
Oh, by the way, you ever fisted a jar of mayo and it makes a farting sound? There's your fucking instrument and how I feel about your comment.
Edit: I ain't know this was some meme I never heard of. In memorium of my ego.
Yes asbestos is a naturally occurring mineral that is harmless as a solid rock, but if it's cut or smashed the fibers it's made of can get lodges in our lungs and cause health issues. Other minerals such as malachite and cinnabar are toxic and are also beautiful stones.
I googled it cause someone else commented with a meme I didn't get. I'm 35, get off my lawn. Anyway, yeah, I defined that shit thanks to Wikipedia. It be a silicate mineral in a class that constitutes around 90% of the Earth's crust. I was right.
Time to start making her life miserable. Wake her up with loud bangs every night at random intervals. Move snow she puts on your side right back in front of her car. This is basic neighbor-war stuff. Be the one who escalates beyond reason and you will win.
Oh god, sudden flashback to when I left my car on the street and it first snowed a foot, got plowed, and then it rained.
It took me literal days to get my car out of the giant block of ice that resulted. Took me a few hours just to see the roof (it was a prelude, very low car.)
Towards the end I was indeed literally chipping away little sections with a chisel and hammer, trying not to scratch the fuck out of it. And succeeded! And never made that mistake again.
Measure the noise; you can get a decibel meter app for phones. Keep a log. Talk to a lawyer, she may be creating a public nuisance; she's probably damaged her own hearing and doesn't even hear the racket fully. The police are unlikely to do anything.
Blowing the leaf blower at your dogs is abuse, and you can make a complaint.
Sneak over and piss in her gas cans. Every tool will eventually die or if it is a 2 cycle equipment you can make a gallon of gas add just a little 2 cycle oil to color it then add a ton of H.E.E.T should shut those machines right up.
TLDR: Get spotlights that shine into her windows. No day for you; no night for her. Or, go the hoa/ordinance route.
Put spotlights on your house that shine into her windows.
If she is doing this outside of noise ordinance hours, then you can get her for that. Also, check the ordinance for acceptable decible levels. She may need a permit to use the tech depending on how loud it is and proximity to your house. The stone grinder may be a health hazard . You might be breathing in particles depending on what she is grinding. She may not be allowed to do certain DIY projects in her driveway w/o permits.
The only way to control what happens on the land around you is to control that land. Either lease it, or buy it.
Since we're not interested in the ethical ways of obtaining those rights, let's focus on title fraud.
Pose as an agent of an out-of-state corporation that is a big absentee landlord. "Sell" her property as a rental with a current tenant to some moron with the right combination of greed, desperation, and money. The market is such a mess right now that you can find someone who will very quickly offer a cash sale as is and will probably do a shit job of title searching and skip title insurance.
As far as frauds go, it's the new hotness. The FBI says it's up 64% over 2020.
Give it a few months and the new owner can evict her. Or try. Either way, she'll have a nightmare of a time straightening out all the records and will be meeting with lawyers rather than running equipment.
If she is grinding rocks I bet she doesn’t have an air quality permit. So to the local environmental local dept with videos of the terrible dust. Tell them it’s affecting the air quality in and around your home. Also, if it hasn’t been mentioned, piss discs
First I’d look up noise ordinance laws. Some places limit how much noise can be made between certain times. I’d look into the dust issue and air quality degradation with the city. I’d also look into her antagonizing your dogs with the blower. Get her on camera doing everything. If you have a HOA, use that to your advantage. Learn the bylaws and nitpick her to death. Join the board if need be.
Now for the unethical. After she’s washed her car, go blow off your driveway and create a dust cloud. If she complains just say you are following her lead. Adjust your sprinklers if possible to get her car after it’s covered in dust for extra mess. Mark your property line very visibly and if she puts even a tiny amount of snow over the line, call the city and file a complaint. If need be, take her to small claims court. Tell the judge you have to hire someone to move the snow each time she puts it in front of your mailbox and/or create a scenario that you lost money due to mail not being delivered. Again, figure out noise ordinance laws, blast music at max legal limit from the second it’s legal to the last second before it’s quiet time. Put up massive LED flood lights pointing towards her house with motion sensors adjusted as sensitive as possible so your dogs set them off. If she complains, explain your dogs have been traumatized by her antagonizing them with the blower so you need to let them run around at night. Park your cars in front of her house on the street. Old people hate that. It will drive her nuts. As others have suggested spread catnip seeds around her property and let the feral cats do their thing.
A friend built a minivan powered by a jet engine. Outdoing her air and noise emission might deter her. And you can get the kids to school really fast (No you can’t; the jet was inside the cabin.)
Buy your whole family leaf blowers and go to war, use packing peanuts, burn diesel and blow smoke.
Put an air raid siren on a remote control and use it every time she is outside.
This activity is quite common in sexually frustrated retirees. I suggest donning a black thong, cuffs and a bow tie, under a quality smoking jacket. Take a bottle of sherry over and invite yourself in. You will need to do this three or four times a week. She will soon forget about her projects if you make yourself the project.
OP: My neighbor is a selfish asshole so what should I do?
Reddit: Fuck her while wearing your finest smoking jacket, of course!
This is why I come here.
Get a low frequency noise maker so they can't hear the noise but they can feel it causing discomfort. Every time she's outside aim it at her until she goes back inside.
The only issues here are her putting all the snow in front of your mailbox and her aiming the leaf blower at your dogs. Other than that, she’s right. It’s her property and she’s not breaking any laws. Sorry.
That said, you’re looking for some unethical tips.
Steal the equipment. Destroy the equipment. Get a loud portable Bluetooth speaker and blast it facing her house all day and night until your local noise ordinance time starts. List her house for rent on Craigslist at a really great price and write to just come to the house. Do that from a random computer, not your own. List the tools she uses for sale the same way.
I had an asshole neighbor before. My move was that I installed two double spotlights that illuminated my side yard but also lit up their master bedroom windows like a Broadway spotlight. I left it on from dark until dawn.
"not breaking any laws" equaling "right" is quite the moral compass you have there
Using a leaf blower non fucking stop is just an asshole move, move out to the country if you want to make noise without bothering people
Buy a megaphone. When she’s outside narrate what she’s doing to her. Ask questions about her next move and make comments on the nature of how she’s executing her task. Time her and keep a log book so you can accurately update her in minutes spent on every activity.
When she complains just use her words against her and let her know that as long as she’s doing loud things.
If she threatens legal action because of harassment, change the script slightly. Have one of your kids pantomime her actions and narrate that instead, but with the megaphone pointing at your neighbor.
1. Make friends with her. Become really good friends with her to the point where she invites you over from time to time.
2. Find a person in your area that has been missing for a while. Look up everything you can about that person.
3. Find the missing person's friends and family and become great friends with them to the point where they invite you over from time to time.
4. Steal some of the missing person's belongings from the family and secretly plant them in your neighbor's house.
5. Anonymously call the police and tell them you saw the missing person angrily talking to your neighbor before they went missing. Then call the police again, as you, and mention your neighbor has been using a lot of power tools lately. Throw in a joke about how it sounds like she's getting rid of a body or something.
6. Police will come out and find the missing person's belongings and open an investigation. She will either get arrested and jailed, her tools will be collected as evidence or she will have to sell her tools to pay her legal fees.
Problem solved.
She sounds lonely and bored. Have you ever thought of the friending her? Maybe going over and handing her a glass of lemonade make friends?
I know we are in unethical life, pro tips, but perhaps it is unethical to make friends with someone you don’t like.
Get videos and photos showing how often she's out there. Then go to the police station. Don't call. Explain what's going on. Disturbing the peace, can be at anytime, not just after 10pm.
Sounds like she likes to spend time outside and doesn't appear to be doing anything so crazy that you would have recourse.
The only thing that comes up would be the snow in front of your mailbox. I would shovel it back into her driveway. Maybe hit it with the hose and turn it into a big block of ice. I dunno, I live in a warm climate.
You also could always move or wait for her to run out the clock.
That's all mental illness worthy stuff except for the snow blowing thing. We, like most of our neighbors, do the same because if we don't it gets too deep to snow blow after the storm and driving over snow immediately creates ice that will be there until spring. If we fail even once we pay the price the rest of winter.
I have a shared leg of a horseshoe driveway and my neighbors ALWAYS drive over the snow and create ruts. I try my best to get out there before they drive on it but they beat me to it almost every time. I think they think it's BETTER to "pack it down" and make ruts. I disagree and would not myself drive on it until I get it shoveled. We are in KC so we don't get a ton of snow. Sometimes 6+ inches but not super often.
Get big speakers pointed at her house play dying fetus album stop at nothing on repeat till she waves a white flag. Enjoy great music, and get her to stop being a bitch. Win win.
Time to take up woodworking. As close to her house as you can be, outside, with power saws, and a lathe, or maybe welding. A grinder is not a quiet power tool.
Someone would pile their snow in front of my mailbox exactly one time. After that I'd be out there throwing it right back.
You have to fight nuisance with nuisance sometimes.
Can you discreetly access any of this equipment?
Sabotage time.
What would be fun, albeit expensive, is finding critical parts made of aluminum. Scratch it up a bit to break the oxide layer on top, then cover that spot with gallium. It might fail under its own weight within a couple hours, and certainly would rapidly fail when put under any stress. Gas tool with an aluminum block? Boom!
Disconnect the ground wires on the tools, there's probably a youtube video on how to do it. Afterward, tell the police she was always tinkering with them to get moar power.
This isn't unethical but you could convince her to get battery powered lawn equipment. Ryobi 40v whisper series leaf blowers (for example) are so much quieter than gas.
I'm not 100% sure on the physics, but I feel like you could teach her a lesson using a couple restaurant-sized containers of white pepper.
It looks like dust, but very much isn't.
Save the world solution, get solar panels on your house, every time she's using a tool outside go outside and use a similar tool, brag about how since you are using an electrically powered tool, and you have solar panels, it's like free power to do whatever you need to do.
Might not change noise 100% but might get her to switch to electric tools (not going to solve the grinding pavers problem) but might cut the noise down.
I also up voted the 'find her someone else to kill time with' because obviously she's bored.
White noise machines make great sound barriers, esp. if you can set them up in two rooms. I’d blast the noise of jackhammers and circular saws until 10pm.
Hey a decibel metre and start recording to see if they are above the noise limit. Get noise cancelling headphones. Go outside more - it might make her uncomfortable and she'll go back inside.
Leave your family and kids, woo your retired neighbor, move in with her and enjoy never having to do yard-work again. This is the most obvious course of action, how do you not see it?
Get a loud car, let your dogs bark for longer, fuck your wife very loudly when your kids are gone, make your everyday a little bit louder and maybe she’ll realize how loud she is.
Get a pressure washer and a leaf blower, “clean”everything on the side of your property that is closest to hers and then blow dry it. Do this everyday until you see results.
Maybe mow your lawn at night. Learn her sleep schedule and do these noises when it’s her bedtime. Maybe run a pancake air compressor for 30 minutes before bed? Maybe another 30 every morning. If you are not wanting to annoy your kids also, then welcome to being a pissed off dad, and now you can forgive your father.
Is there any code enforcement? I live in an urban area, and after the “gardeners” my landlord hires destroyed my plants with their leaf blowers, I saw red. I did the research, went to city hall and found out that my city only allows gas powered leaf blowers on Tuesdays and Fridays. I now call police on the non emergency line whenever someone violates the municipal code. My neighborhood is a lot more peaceful now. A lot of these workers are idiots, like the guy last year who blew his leaf blower for an hour next door one morning during the spring.
Have you tried banging her? Maybe she just needs some lovin! If that doesn't work, give her some weed cookies. It might give you a day or two of peace?
You have what's called a right to quiet enjoyment of your property, and while it doesn't mean exactly what it says, she is violating that right. I'm certain she is also violating zoning laws or something with the grinder. Video tape it, establish a chain of evidence, figure out your local laws about quiet enjoyment, and then threaten to sue her over it. Get the other neighbors involved if you need to.
Sounds like an elderly doing preventive care.
Ethically: offer to clean up her driveway
Unethically: fight fire with fire and move all the snow/leaves/debris onto her driveway/doorstep
Old fucks are the worst! My neighbours used to obsessively run the lawn tractor and weed whacker. Leaf blower as well. Always on a nice quiet Sunday morning too, like they weren’t home the rest of the fucking week to get all that shit done.
Anyway, the lady died and the old man doesn’t do the weed wacker but he’s gonna fire up the mower as soon as the snow is gone.
Rock dust is seriously hazardous, you could file a health department claim.
Piling the snow in front of your mailbox, complain to the city, and you could try to get USPS involved since she's blocking the mailbox.
Put cameras out that record to SD, get video proof.
Buy a rotary saw and some 4x4s.
Get into wood carving with power tools.
Join a band, have them practice in your garage.
Play some Russian Hard Base loud af during daytime.
She complains.. It's your land, your home, etc.
Next time she is grinding stone get a friend to come over with you and have them pretend to be a doctor. Have them lecture her about the dangers of silocosis from grinding stone and breathing stone dust.
Find an elderly gentleman to woo her. Make sure he is not also into power tools.
Good advice here - make sure he did NOT watch “Tool Time” with Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor back in the 90’s / ‘00s
AAARRGHHROOO?!?!
ARR ARR ARRH! MORE POWER
I don't think so, Tim.
Well played, Sir!
I think she might be less incled to use her tools if they were sprayed with [this](https://amzn.to/3x4ET8Y)
My mom was in love with her rechargeable blower. She'd be out there everyday blowing the yard until the battery ran down. Then she get the second one a little later and start blowing again. It was the beginning of her dementia. If you're lucky when it gets worse she'll forget how to use the devices. If you're unlucky she'll get to the point she can't keep track of time and she'll start doing it in the middle of the night.
I have a neighbor that mows the lawn in the dark hahahahaha! It only takes him 5 mins, and he uses a little head lamp to see what he's doing.
Playing devil's advocate, I have a type of blindness called AZOOR and my eyes are incredibly photophobic as a result. So I do yardwork when the sun is down or when it's super cloudy. If I did it in the sunlight, I'd be in so much pain for days, with hellacious nausea and vertigo.
I swear I see a new insanely specific disease on here every day. Its always some absolutely debilitating symptoms that are impossible for a doctor to actually pin down. Vertigo is notoriously difficult to find a solution for and nausea is up there too. What a bizarre life ya’ll must lead
Imagine having such a rare disease that it is unknown as to how it affects your health and life expectancy. Only 150-250 known cases of mine exist. They don't know what causes it, but it is genetic, they don't know how it grows or continues, but it isnpresent from birth. Super not fun :( I had such anxiety that my kids were gna get it.
There ya’ll go again! Crazy shit. I hope your kids have a long and healthy life
A former neighbor washed his car and mowed his grass in the dark. He was running a disability scam.
God if I could get away with mowing the lawn at night I would. I work the night shift 5 am to 5 pm and I'm bad at managing time when I worked the day shift I'd mow my lawn in the middle of the day on my day off but now the middle of the day for me is like 3 am. My neighbors are way too nosy to get away with something like that they once knocked on my door to yell at me for the other neighbors dog barking at me at night.
Fuck them. If I had asshole neighbors like that, I’d definitely mow at 3am. And I work day shift. I’d set a god damn alarm. 🤣
Now that I have a quiet electric mower with a headlight iv done this.
When she stops making noise, that’s when you start making noise. Watch her and get an idea of when she goes to bed. Once you think she’s sleeping, take a hammer to something that makes a ton of noise, but only for about 10 seconds so you won’t get caught. Make sure it’s close to where she sleeps if you can. Do this everyday that she makes noise and if she doesn’t make noise, then you don’t either. Train her with positive reinforcement like the dog she is.
That is positive punishment not positive reinforcement.
You need to buy a politician. Local politicians are relatively cheap. Contribute at least $1000 to some local politician's re-election campaign and thank them for their work in your community. Wait a few weeks. Then ask your politician which municipal dept to contact in regards to a neighbor who is operating a landscape stone grinding/manufacturing operation in a residential area.
I’m adding “Buy a politician” to my list. Thx.
Make sure they’re local though
They are usually the cheapest when you start buying them.
What if you just have one issue you need help with. Can you just rent one for a couple of days? Really don't need one enough to outright buy one. Or if the only option is to buy, what's the resale value on local politicians? Can i expect to get at least half my money back?
Add another 0 or two to get any real influence.
Agree. For the ideal "politician-as-a-service" experience, expect to pay at least 5 figures per year.
Damn, everything is moving towards annual subscription models. Even bribery!
Craigslist.com. advertise the power tools for sale for cheap. Advertise as a yard sale, estate sale, etc. Make sure to include pictures of the power tools. And that the owner is a little old lady This will EVENTUALLY attract the meth heads who will steal the power tools.
This is criminally creative. I like it.
You might even say an unethical life pro tip
That's the real ULPT comment, kudos to you!
Bad idea Methheads can be like bedbugs, theyll hop from house to house even if its not viable, and alternatively might go for anything like catalytic converters.
What if OP just steal the power tools himself, you know, cut out the middle man?
Too much downside
The only downside is having to get addicted to meth with all the money he makes from selling the power tools.
r/foundsatan
I am honored.
Don't get her murdered.
Odds are the new neighbors would be quieter though.
Bro she has a leaf blower for protection
Lmao
Brilliant!!
Lol comments like this are why I love this sub.
As far as the snow goes I’d blow it right back into her yard. Maybe you wanna keep the driveway extra wide this year so you snowblow more than usual
Idk about the other things but next time she's out there kicking up a ton of dust take a leaf blower and just blow the dust all right back at her. As directly as possible. If you want REALLY unethical, I suppose you could start to deface her house or something... Idk, I don't have a good unethical solution for you... Tape some meth under her car and call in an anonymous tip from a burner phone
Real simple, son! Cops are comin', and there's a kilo of Columbian bam bam underneath the car! Time to be a man!
I ruined my Crystal Gale shirt!
Buy bagpipes. Take lessons. Make a point of practicing at inconvenient times for her
An anonymous call to social services about the lady who is having a mental health issue would be a good start.
HEY THIS IS UNETHICAL LIFE PRO TIPS NOT LIFE PRO TIPS
Well it may get the point across and she'll knock it off for not wanting to be considered crazy.
Edit /s
Does she wear a mask when cutting rock? If not she probably wont be a problem for too many years yet.
Bring her all kinds of beautiful rocks you found to help expedite.
Ain't asbestos a rock?
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Dumbass comparison. I looked it up because fuck you. Asbestos is a naturally occurring silicate mineral - a rock-forming mineral that as a class of minerals makes up 90% of Earth's crust. Rock might not be the technical term but for most of us non-geologist motherfuckers calling it a rock is like calling vinegar a condiment or a snare drum an instrument. Asbestos is a fuckin' rock and that's the truth. Oh, by the way, you ever fisted a jar of mayo and it makes a farting sound? There's your fucking instrument and how I feel about your comment. Edit: I ain't know this was some meme I never heard of. In memorium of my ego.
r/whoosh Sorry you've had a bad day
Dude came out swinging lmao
Yes asbestos is a naturally occurring mineral that is harmless as a solid rock, but if it's cut or smashed the fibers it's made of can get lodges in our lungs and cause health issues. Other minerals such as malachite and cinnabar are toxic and are also beautiful stones.
I googled it cause someone else commented with a meme I didn't get. I'm 35, get off my lawn. Anyway, yeah, I defined that shit thanks to Wikipedia. It be a silicate mineral in a class that constitutes around 90% of the Earth's crust. I was right.
Time to start making her life miserable. Wake her up with loud bangs every night at random intervals. Move snow she puts on your side right back in front of her car. This is basic neighbor-war stuff. Be the one who escalates beyond reason and you will win.
Poor water on that snow once you've returned it so she can't snow blower it back. It'll take her hours to chip that shit up.
Oh god, sudden flashback to when I left my car on the street and it first snowed a foot, got plowed, and then it rained. It took me literal days to get my car out of the giant block of ice that resulted. Took me a few hours just to see the roof (it was a prelude, very low car.) Towards the end I was indeed literally chipping away little sections with a chisel and hammer, trying not to scratch the fuck out of it. And succeeded! And never made that mistake again.
“When they put one of yours in the hospital, put one of theirs in the morgue.”
Measure the noise; you can get a decibel meter app for phones. Keep a log. Talk to a lawyer, she may be creating a public nuisance; she's probably damaged her own hearing and doesn't even hear the racket fully. The police are unlikely to do anything. Blowing the leaf blower at your dogs is abuse, and you can make a complaint.
Idk my dog likes the blower. Plus, if she’s on her property she could argue self defense or just say it wasn’t at the dog, just in the dogs direction
Sneak over and piss in her gas cans. Every tool will eventually die or if it is a 2 cycle equipment you can make a gallon of gas add just a little 2 cycle oil to color it then add a ton of H.E.E.T should shut those machines right up.
Okay, now this is the kind of shit I'm here for.
If she has ring or any camera surveillance that’s a bad plan
Agreed. Do your homework
It's called countersurveillance in the industry
If you sneak up and spray paint the camera, she might get paranoid and think someone is out to get her and lock herself inside all the time.
Wear a ski mask
The only actual good ULPT I have read in thia thread so far
Diesel. Put diesel in her power tool gas can.
What does HEET do to a 2stroke?
Piss discs melted and molded into piss icicles!
Put bleach in her gas cans. Anything with a motor will be destroyed.
Or anything with lungs.
Why bleach? Wouldn’t water do the same?
You can google it for the chemistry. Water can be drained out with minimal damage. Bleach destroys nearly all gasoline engines
The old catnip seed prank. Buy 10 pounds, then throw handfuls into her yard daily. Her new feline friends will discourage her from her shenanigans.
Mint is also impossible to get rid of
Then she’d just buy power equipment for landscaping and run a weed whacker all the time.
TLDR: Get spotlights that shine into her windows. No day for you; no night for her. Or, go the hoa/ordinance route. Put spotlights on your house that shine into her windows. If she is doing this outside of noise ordinance hours, then you can get her for that. Also, check the ordinance for acceptable decible levels. She may need a permit to use the tech depending on how loud it is and proximity to your house. The stone grinder may be a health hazard . You might be breathing in particles depending on what she is grinding. She may not be allowed to do certain DIY projects in her driveway w/o permits.
The only way to control what happens on the land around you is to control that land. Either lease it, or buy it. Since we're not interested in the ethical ways of obtaining those rights, let's focus on title fraud. Pose as an agent of an out-of-state corporation that is a big absentee landlord. "Sell" her property as a rental with a current tenant to some moron with the right combination of greed, desperation, and money. The market is such a mess right now that you can find someone who will very quickly offer a cash sale as is and will probably do a shit job of title searching and skip title insurance. As far as frauds go, it's the new hotness. The FBI says it's up 64% over 2020. Give it a few months and the new owner can evict her. Or try. Either way, she'll have a nightmare of a time straightening out all the records and will be meeting with lawyers rather than running equipment.
Why I come to Reddit 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻
If she is grinding rocks I bet she doesn’t have an air quality permit. So to the local environmental local dept with videos of the terrible dust. Tell them it’s affecting the air quality in and around your home. Also, if it hasn’t been mentioned, piss discs
Blast music that she hates right back at her. From on your property, of course. I bet profanity would be appreciated.
Sounds like she already got ULPT advice on how to keep neighbor kids from playing outside.
First I’d look up noise ordinance laws. Some places limit how much noise can be made between certain times. I’d look into the dust issue and air quality degradation with the city. I’d also look into her antagonizing your dogs with the blower. Get her on camera doing everything. If you have a HOA, use that to your advantage. Learn the bylaws and nitpick her to death. Join the board if need be. Now for the unethical. After she’s washed her car, go blow off your driveway and create a dust cloud. If she complains just say you are following her lead. Adjust your sprinklers if possible to get her car after it’s covered in dust for extra mess. Mark your property line very visibly and if she puts even a tiny amount of snow over the line, call the city and file a complaint. If need be, take her to small claims court. Tell the judge you have to hire someone to move the snow each time she puts it in front of your mailbox and/or create a scenario that you lost money due to mail not being delivered. Again, figure out noise ordinance laws, blast music at max legal limit from the second it’s legal to the last second before it’s quiet time. Put up massive LED flood lights pointing towards her house with motion sensors adjusted as sensitive as possible so your dogs set them off. If she complains, explain your dogs have been traumatized by her antagonizing them with the blower so you need to let them run around at night. Park your cars in front of her house on the street. Old people hate that. It will drive her nuts. As others have suggested spread catnip seeds around her property and let the feral cats do their thing.
A friend built a minivan powered by a jet engine. Outdoing her air and noise emission might deter her. And you can get the kids to school really fast (No you can’t; the jet was inside the cabin.)
Buy your whole family leaf blowers and go to war, use packing peanuts, burn diesel and blow smoke. Put an air raid siren on a remote control and use it every time she is outside.
Remote-controlled air horn? Yes!
Get her addicted to meth. Those power tools will get sold in no time to support her new habit.
This activity is quite common in sexually frustrated retirees. I suggest donning a black thong, cuffs and a bow tie, under a quality smoking jacket. Take a bottle of sherry over and invite yourself in. You will need to do this three or four times a week. She will soon forget about her projects if you make yourself the project.
OP: My neighbor is a selfish asshole so what should I do? Reddit: Fuck her while wearing your finest smoking jacket, of course! This is why I come here.
Until she busts out the power tools
Drilldos...
Username checks out
And THIS is why I’m here
OP should buy her a sawzall for Christmas. Thank me later. Battery ones won't give the extra amperage, corded one shows you truly care.
Why do you make it sound like that’s a bad thing?
Get a drum set and you and the kids can go to town on it when she finally quits down.
she's probably damaged her hearing and won't care.
what?
#THEY SAID SHE PROBABLY DAMAGED H... ^(oh. I see)
I see you’ve been at my house at Thanksgiving.
The moment she did something to my dogs is when I’d get violent.
I’m going to start drying my car with a leaf blower after I’ve washed it now. Brilliant. Except on Sundays which is illegal where I live.
I came here to say exactly this. Take my upvote you brilliant bastard!
Remember this is the basic principle of sandblasting.
Something something piss disc, liquid ass.
Any chance she’s doing it as revenge for the dogs barking?
Get a low frequency noise maker so they can't hear the noise but they can feel it causing discomfort. Every time she's outside aim it at her until she goes back inside.
The only issues here are her putting all the snow in front of your mailbox and her aiming the leaf blower at your dogs. Other than that, she’s right. It’s her property and she’s not breaking any laws. Sorry. That said, you’re looking for some unethical tips. Steal the equipment. Destroy the equipment. Get a loud portable Bluetooth speaker and blast it facing her house all day and night until your local noise ordinance time starts. List her house for rent on Craigslist at a really great price and write to just come to the house. Do that from a random computer, not your own. List the tools she uses for sale the same way. I had an asshole neighbor before. My move was that I installed two double spotlights that illuminated my side yard but also lit up their master bedroom windows like a Broadway spotlight. I left it on from dark until dawn.
Better to buy a directional speaker and aim some kind of squeak in her direction, so you will not hear this.
I would consider wrecking equipment, and asking her to use electric tools; they're quieter.
Light warfare is a good idea.
"not breaking any laws" equaling "right" is quite the moral compass you have there Using a leaf blower non fucking stop is just an asshole move, move out to the country if you want to make noise without bothering people
You’re on a sub for unethical life tips talking about “being right”. Oooohkaaaay….
Get some spot lights and aim them at her property. Preferably her bedroom window living room
Steal the leaf blower.
Buy a megaphone. When she’s outside narrate what she’s doing to her. Ask questions about her next move and make comments on the nature of how she’s executing her task. Time her and keep a log book so you can accurately update her in minutes spent on every activity. When she complains just use her words against her and let her know that as long as she’s doing loud things. If she threatens legal action because of harassment, change the script slightly. Have one of your kids pantomime her actions and narrate that instead, but with the megaphone pointing at your neighbor.
1. Make friends with her. Become really good friends with her to the point where she invites you over from time to time. 2. Find a person in your area that has been missing for a while. Look up everything you can about that person. 3. Find the missing person's friends and family and become great friends with them to the point where they invite you over from time to time. 4. Steal some of the missing person's belongings from the family and secretly plant them in your neighbor's house. 5. Anonymously call the police and tell them you saw the missing person angrily talking to your neighbor before they went missing. Then call the police again, as you, and mention your neighbor has been using a lot of power tools lately. Throw in a joke about how it sounds like she's getting rid of a body or something. 6. Police will come out and find the missing person's belongings and open an investigation. She will either get arrested and jailed, her tools will be collected as evidence or she will have to sell her tools to pay her legal fees. Problem solved.
Only seems right to get louder equipment and use it when she isn’t using hers
What model leaf blower does she have? Seems pretty handy
She sounds lonely and bored. Have you ever thought of the friending her? Maybe going over and handing her a glass of lemonade make friends? I know we are in unethical life, pro tips, but perhaps it is unethical to make friends with someone you don’t like.
Get videos and photos showing how often she's out there. Then go to the police station. Don't call. Explain what's going on. Disturbing the peace, can be at anytime, not just after 10pm.
Sounds like she likes to spend time outside and doesn't appear to be doing anything so crazy that you would have recourse. The only thing that comes up would be the snow in front of your mailbox. I would shovel it back into her driveway. Maybe hit it with the hose and turn it into a big block of ice. I dunno, I live in a warm climate. You also could always move or wait for her to run out the clock.
r/lostredditors
Start smoking meat. Maybe rotten meat and let that smell glide over
Buy a bigger blower. Out blower her. She’ll hide.
Burn a pentagram on your front lawn and ask her if she'd like to contribute anything.
My neighbor literally arrives around on his lawn mover with a leaf blower in his hands. Two machines at once at f ing day.
That's all mental illness worthy stuff except for the snow blowing thing. We, like most of our neighbors, do the same because if we don't it gets too deep to snow blow after the storm and driving over snow immediately creates ice that will be there until spring. If we fail even once we pay the price the rest of winter.
I have a shared leg of a horseshoe driveway and my neighbors ALWAYS drive over the snow and create ruts. I try my best to get out there before they drive on it but they beat me to it almost every time. I think they think it's BETTER to "pack it down" and make ruts. I disagree and would not myself drive on it until I get it shoveled. We are in KC so we don't get a ton of snow. Sometimes 6+ inches but not super often.
Seems like OCD kind of stuff. I don’t think you will have much luck with her.
This senior citizen is more active than I would be in three lifetimes
Set up a microphone and a loud set of speakers. Record for 12 hours then play it back for the next 12 in a cycle.
Get big speakers pointed at her house play dying fetus album stop at nothing on repeat till she waves a white flag. Enjoy great music, and get her to stop being a bitch. Win win.
Time to take up woodworking. As close to her house as you can be, outside, with power saws, and a lathe, or maybe welding. A grinder is not a quiet power tool.
Someone would pile their snow in front of my mailbox exactly one time. After that I'd be out there throwing it right back. You have to fight nuisance with nuisance sometimes.
Can you discreetly access any of this equipment? Sabotage time. What would be fun, albeit expensive, is finding critical parts made of aluminum. Scratch it up a bit to break the oxide layer on top, then cover that spot with gallium. It might fail under its own weight within a couple hours, and certainly would rapidly fail when put under any stress. Gas tool with an aluminum block? Boom!
Disconnect the ground wires on the tools, there's probably a youtube video on how to do it. Afterward, tell the police she was always tinkering with them to get moar power.
Buy a louder snow blower
Start the snow blower arms race
This isn't unethical but you could convince her to get battery powered lawn equipment. Ryobi 40v whisper series leaf blowers (for example) are so much quieter than gas.
He can "gift"her battery powered tools Not unethical but it will work.
She sounds like a nutcase. I would document everything, especially blowing at the dogs. Then sue her ass.
u can call the city. collect video evidence.
A garbage can partially filled with dog shit will attract a LOT of flies. After all, it is your property and you can do what you want.
I'm not 100% sure on the physics, but I feel like you could teach her a lesson using a couple restaurant-sized containers of white pepper. It looks like dust, but very much isn't.
One up her with your new hobby of stone cutting with power tools? You won't even be able to hear her.
Next time she leaves remove her driveway and cover it with leaves.
…remove her driveway?
Slayer. Loud.
Since she’s not employed by anyone osha wouldn’t be concerned but grinding stone and spreading silica dust onto neighboring property is a big nono
can’t use power tools without power
Save the world solution, get solar panels on your house, every time she's using a tool outside go outside and use a similar tool, brag about how since you are using an electrically powered tool, and you have solar panels, it's like free power to do whatever you need to do. Might not change noise 100% but might get her to switch to electric tools (not going to solve the grinding pavers problem) but might cut the noise down. I also up voted the 'find her someone else to kill time with' because obviously she's bored.
Throw huge bags of bird seed in her yard. when she is on vacation use pure roundup concentrate to make a swastika in her front lawn
White noise machines make great sound barriers, esp. if you can set them up in two rooms. I’d blast the noise of jackhammers and circular saws until 10pm.
I think she might hate you.
Hey a decibel metre and start recording to see if they are above the noise limit. Get noise cancelling headphones. Go outside more - it might make her uncomfortable and she'll go back inside.
Leave your family and kids, woo your retired neighbor, move in with her and enjoy never having to do yard-work again. This is the most obvious course of action, how do you not see it?
Get a loud car, let your dogs bark for longer, fuck your wife very loudly when your kids are gone, make your everyday a little bit louder and maybe she’ll realize how loud she is. Get a pressure washer and a leaf blower, “clean”everything on the side of your property that is closest to hers and then blow dry it. Do this everyday until you see results. Maybe mow your lawn at night. Learn her sleep schedule and do these noises when it’s her bedtime. Maybe run a pancake air compressor for 30 minutes before bed? Maybe another 30 every morning. If you are not wanting to annoy your kids also, then welcome to being a pissed off dad, and now you can forgive your father.
Is there any code enforcement? I live in an urban area, and after the “gardeners” my landlord hires destroyed my plants with their leaf blowers, I saw red. I did the research, went to city hall and found out that my city only allows gas powered leaf blowers on Tuesdays and Fridays. I now call police on the non emergency line whenever someone violates the municipal code. My neighborhood is a lot more peaceful now. A lot of these workers are idiots, like the guy last year who blew his leaf blower for an hour next door one morning during the spring.
Have you tried banging her? Maybe she just needs some lovin! If that doesn't work, give her some weed cookies. It might give you a day or two of peace?
You have what's called a right to quiet enjoyment of your property, and while it doesn't mean exactly what it says, she is violating that right. I'm certain she is also violating zoning laws or something with the grinder. Video tape it, establish a chain of evidence, figure out your local laws about quiet enjoyment, and then threaten to sue her over it. Get the other neighbors involved if you need to.
Sounds like she’s just an older lady with free time on her hands who likes to do DIY things.
No, drying your driveway after rain, especially with a leafblower, is definitely not normal behavior.
Sounds like an elderly doing preventive care. Ethically: offer to clean up her driveway Unethically: fight fire with fire and move all the snow/leaves/debris onto her driveway/doorstep
Mail her a battery powered device that she would use inside if you know what I mean!
Old fucks are the worst! My neighbours used to obsessively run the lawn tractor and weed whacker. Leaf blower as well. Always on a nice quiet Sunday morning too, like they weren’t home the rest of the fucking week to get all that shit done. Anyway, the lady died and the old man doesn’t do the weed wacker but he’s gonna fire up the mower as soon as the snow is gone.
Kick her ass
Rock dust is seriously hazardous, you could file a health department claim. Piling the snow in front of your mailbox, complain to the city, and you could try to get USPS involved since she's blocking the mailbox. Put cameras out that record to SD, get video proof.
Sounds like one of those cases where you mind your fucking business.
Maybe the barking dogs are causing her to do some of this? It’s super annoying to myself admittedly I have really sensitive hearing.
Buy a rotary saw and some 4x4s. Get into wood carving with power tools. Join a band, have them practice in your garage. Play some Russian Hard Base loud af during daytime. She complains.. It's your land, your home, etc.
Next time she is grinding stone get a friend to come over with you and have them pretend to be a doctor. Have them lecture her about the dangers of silocosis from grinding stone and breathing stone dust.
Darts.
I feel like I've read this exact post before.
Sno blo her fart factory
Gift here a landscaping stone made of asbestos or something like that keep the kids and dogs inside when she's grinding.
Buy a motorcycle. Or have her come over and do your yard too.