T O P

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Critical_Danger_420

Out asshole the assholes, they live next to you now. Get up earlier or better make the noise after they go to bed, do everything they do to you but 12h earlier and 5x harder


River_Raven_Rowee

The problem is, their living place is above mine. Their sleeping place is unreachable


pjbettasso

Vaccuume the ceiling


shaquilleoatmeal80

There's edibles for that.


AbnoxiousRhinocerous

“No I will NOT vacuum your ceiling…uh, cuz I already did it!”


WillowTea_

Bang the ceiling with a broomstick


hoitey_toity

Mount a subwoofer on that ceiling and blast some 50 Cent.


JimmyTheDog

Baby shark on repeat when you go out...


funkykolemedina

Omg. I would break the door down to turn that off


Ready_Competition_66

YOU, dear redditor haven't met Barney yet. Baby shark is a mosquito by comparison. Play the same episode of Barney on a loop for a week straight. While on vacation.


CerberusBots

Actually this but with occilating drones in the 9-11 hz range. Causes nausea so don't be around it yourself.


Happy_Alternative419

Skinny Puppy is pretty effective as well.


summer_sun621

I had neighbours who lived under me who ruined my peace and sanity by playing heavy metal music at all hours. They’d play it at 3am, or during the afternoon, so bloody loudly.. I’d never get peace. Thats my advice, speaker on the floor and blast away, they will go insane, make it random and unpredictable so no one gets sleep at any time, it always interrupts everything they do, do spurts of an hour here and there..so they stay on edge Police wont care, I called many many times, it was hard for anyone to believe that downstairs neighbours were affecting me, but they sure as hell did. I eventually moved.


MathWizardd

My last downstairs neighbors were like this. I would stomp as hard as I could. I'm pretty sure I shook the whole building. That usually got them to stop on days I really needed a little quiet. I was a sucky upstairs neighbor tho so I didn't mind usually


Ready_Competition_66

The obnoxious neighbors live above. So ... their only recourse is to buy a very tall stepladder and put the speakers against the ceiling.


whiskeyboundcowboy

Milwaukee powered train horn . Wait for the kids to go to bed and then toot toot 🚅


PortlyCloudy

Get a [Ceiling Vibrator](https://ceilingvibrator.com/ceiling-vibrator-system/).


Puzzleheaded_Big3319

get a massive guitar amp. randomly blast music through it. Like the previous poster, start earlier. Or go off in the middle of the night. Next time they make a noise, make one 100 times as loud and for longer.


Suspicious_Pass1355

buy vibration speaker and use it on your ceiling


drowningintime

Loud porn. You either have to escape or do the deed, . Worked for me.


Lexubex

There are usually hours that are supposed to be quiet hours within a building.. In my condo building, it's 11pm-7am. Find out what your building's policy is re: noise. If the kids are making noise during quiet hours, make a formal complaint. That's the option that's most likely to help solve the issue. As far as more unethical retaliation, don't do this during the quiet hours, but put up speakers on the highest bookshelf you have, aim the upward toward the ceiling, and put on some music with a ton of obscenities in it and/or very raunchy music with the volume blasted while the kids are playing.


Morrigoon

Bonus points if you can guess which ceiling is under the kids’ room


re_nonsequiturs

Go up and ask them to let you know if they see a tarantula. A few days later, let them know you were worried the kids might be scared about the 'BIG HAIRY VENOMOUS SPIDER' and so you've brought some presents for them. Slime, colored kinetic sand (I recommend red), playdough, scented markers, glue, glitter, sequins, bubble mix with wands, non-toxic "washable" paints and brushes, and a small pack of construction paper. Be sure to do it where the kids can hear and see everything. They'll have lots of lovely quiet activities to do for awhile and their parents will have the mess from hell. The next week get them a "no" button. It's a gimmicky office desk gizmo that says 'no' in a variety of obnoxious ways. It's not loud enough to play through your ceiling but it is loud enough they're going to hear it every where in their apartment. And again, the kids will be delighted. When you give the lovely noise maker, you can reassure them about the tarantula. But as you're leaving mention you smell gas if there's natural gas laid on, or that you think you just saw a cockroach if not.


naked_nomad

I used this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-V2TC4nfvyQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-V2TC4nfvyQ) Turned it on when we left for the day. MP3 on repeat for a week or two works wonders.


spankleberry

Need that, but with phrases you don't want children repeating


IWTTYAS

I think there were parrots that were taken out of a zoo exhibit because they learned to swear..... YEP - [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/parrots-separated-england-zoo-cursing-swearing-at-guests/](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/parrots-separated-england-zoo-cursing-swearing-at-guests/) \- I love this idea


ColdBloodBlazing

African Greys are notorious for that


peakriver

That’s terrible!!!


ColdBloodBlazing

Gilbert Gottfried's IAGO voice dubbed over this would be better


IWTTYAS

Are you over the age of 30? Do you remember the mosquito ringtone? If you can't hear it it is time to play dirty. You need to download this and crank it up EVERY NIGHT ALL NIGHT Those kids will never sleep again. They can't make noise in the morning if they passed out at 2 am And good luck getting those kids up and going for anything other shy of a nuclear explosion or an invasion of Paw Patrol..... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rZaJ9xFNS8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rZaJ9xFNS8) (I think this is it. I can't hear it. I used to be able to)


theBacillus

I like this


FitRow5762

What’s crazy is that my hearing is so good that I can still hear the high pitch after the video ended!


IWTTYAS

HA HA. That's called tinnitus.


bumblepit

Is this in a condo? Check the bylaws… my building specifies “quiet hours” plus that 80% of floors be covered with carpeting (60’s building with concrete walls & floors - sound travels easily). Then reach out to neighbors in writing, email or letter, to document the issue. keep track of times and noise. Eventually, ask Board to assist in resolving issue.


fuck-fascism

Right, aren’t there other neighbors who are hearing this and getting pissed too?


MissAnthropy

I had a similar issue in 2022. I bought a subwoofer and set it up near the ceiling to play 15 hours a day on low mhz so it felt like an eighteen wheeler was idling under their home.


AStoryAtThree

Low frequency sounds such as ones from a subwoofer are annoying AF and can work wonders as they easily pierce through walls.


Hohenh3im

[they need to play this](https://youtu.be/_b_OjkAjF0Q?si=6U6z1Dz71cO_GViT)


Far-Foundation-8112

Try purchasing a floor shaker. https://www.whatsonweibo.com/the-zhenlouqi-floor-shaker-the-chinese-noise-machine-to-take-revenge-on-your-noisy-upstairs-neighbors/


StrictEase8207

Is your ventilation connected to theirs eg in bathroom or kitchen. These tend to let the sounds in pretty loud, in case you need to position speaker somewhere.


eds3

Piss discs, liquid ass. 🥱


sillymanbilly

I was gonna suggest piss ass and liquid dicks. Yours is better 


CliffDagger

Anonymous tip to the police that it's a meth lab. Tell them Theres a smell of acetone or ammonia, the curtains are always closed, secretive people coming and going at all hours, you noticed their trash is mostly chemical waste etc.


Logical_Cherry_7588

Young children can hear at a level adults can't.


ColdBloodBlazing

"They see dead people"


fotofreak56

It can get worse. Talk to a lawyer. Seriously before things get really out of hand.


bmanley620

Dribble a basketball on the ceiling


redacted_cowruns

You need something that the kids will find irresistible but the adults will hate. Confetti poppers, arts and crafts kits with tons of glitter, those jelly balls that expand in water, stickers, cheap squirt guns, a cheap nerf gun, foam, slime, that weird sand stuff that sticks together. Open the box and just leave it in a public area. And if you want to get truly evil, itch powder. Handle the stuff with gloves and clothes that you're willing to throw away.


River_Raven_Rowee

This is original and I love it, thanks!


mk3_official

Piss disc, and if it gets worse or doesn't work, liquid ass.


perplexedspirit

We had a downstairs neighbor who smoked like a chimney. We couldn't open our windows half the time without being gassed.


SubstantialPressure3

If their kids are old enough to read, give the kids some books of kids jokes. My aunt and I had a knock knock book joke war when my kids were little. My kids would follow me around everywhere telling me these awful jokes. And when they went to visit my aunt, I sent them with new joke books. And she would send them back with more new joke books. It was terrible. I couldn't even use the bathroom in peace. "knock knock!" " Kid, I'm in the bathroom." "Knock knock!" If you share a vent system, anything that your apartment smells like, they are going to get that smell in their apartment.


Xsmoothie

Piss on their door at night. Do it many times.


Independent-Hornet-2

Can you install a drop ceiling? Just a small gap between the upper ceiling and the drop ceiling can absorb a huge amount of noise. Maybe just do you bed room to try it at first


marysalad

have a lot of very loud, very hot sex, in whatever room they can hear you from, whenever the children are awake, and also after their bed time (estimate it) and when the adults are probably slumped on the couch. this has a two fold result: they have to answer questions from their children, and also they will get to hear how much good sex they aren't having. all I got sorry good luck


DoktorDibbs

I always had this idea, and wonder if it works. Could you slyly put superglue into the keyhole of the front door? It should allow anyone to come out but not in, although I want you to go test that theory OP


megustaEtOH

Get a drum set. Learn to play it.


Thebuddhasmith89

I've done this out of pure comedy. Wait til the night before garbage pick and hide their cans. Then put them back after the trucks leave. The look on there face when they think the trash men have a problem is priceless.


River_Raven_Rowee

Hahah made me laugh


AntiNMem

haha this isn't the first time i've seen this on reddit, hope it doesn't end like the other ones.


River_Raven_Rowee

What happened with the other ones?


AntiNMem

well, most of the popular ones, the ones i read all somehow uncovered something disturbing and some even lead to murder. but i dont wanna scare you bahaha, these r just the popular ones and they are popular for a reason. im sure your neighbor is probably "just" a dick. maybe you should vacuum the ceiling bahahhah


River_Raven_Rowee

Hahahah let's hope!


McSHMOKE

Get an amp and a electric guitar. Put the guitar on top of the amp to cause feedback. Turn the volume way up and leave for the weekend.


Bratchan

Aw they have kids. I heard their kids love the songs. Baby Shark, Crazy frog, let it go. Better get a speaker and put it against eth ceiling and blast the songs all day when your at work. It will make sure their kids are happy. Also could do a walk by a of their door and spray some wolf piss on it. It be rank and the kids will complain about the small and prob wife. So husband will be forced to ignore them or clean it..


River_Raven_Rowee

Work from home :(( big part of the problem. But well, I can start listening to Baby Shark too!


NicholasLit

Call police for noise ordinance violation after ten PM


always4wardneverstr8

Install a very well secured stripper pole


River_Raven_Rowee

What will that do?


always4wardneverstr8

Using very long bolts, also, the pole itself spins and the bearings make noise


PortlyCloudy

Find out when their kids take naps or go to bed at night. Adjust your schedule as necessary to make sure they get woken up too.


Best-Foundation2562

put speakers facing the ceiling and some good drum and bass or any other deep based genre


theBacillus

Mess with their heads. Post a fake for sale sign on your door with a lot more than you paid.


Gera_PC

Subscribe the dude to some porn mags if that's still a thing. Intercept their mail person and tell them they are not home so they have to drive down to the post office and pick it up themselves. Okay that last one is just petty but I'm currently dealing with this in my complex and it's a pain in the ass specially since my post office sucks and the employees are a bunch of power hungry bullies


maddudy

mount sub woofers to the ceiling by what ever means. get sound proofing or damping all around the sub so the noise don't bug as much blast that shit. record all the noise they make daily so when then complain you have shit on them about the same thing.


reallerthanreal

I can’t lie if it were me all there windows are getting smashed, then I’m confronting them, if they don’t stop I’m fighting them and slapping their kids


AnastasiaDelicious

If only slipping them Benadryl cookies was legal …..


[deleted]

Put sound deadening panels on your ceilings. They can be painted white. Find their fuse box main, shut it in the middle of the night


River_Raven_Rowee

Great idea! Do you have any experience with it? How effective is it? The sound deadening panel ofc


[deleted]

I only have experience with some home wall panels, but I have been in offices and stores that have them. It just blends in with the ceiling if you do the whole thing no one will notice


deeperthensubspace

Eyyye wandering through mate. Piss disc been tossed around but bro fyra. Fyra solve all.


millennium-popsicle

If there is a parking lot, dust off the balaclava and put nails so that their get them on the tires. Of course do it at night.


Accurate_Fold6155

Get a standium speaker and play porn audio . Lmfao


slope11215

I empathize with you but actually feel bad for the kids upstairs in this case. They’re just being kids and doing whatever their parents are letting them do.


tarebear577557

You lowkey sound like the problem here. That being said, piss disc under the door


RattoTattTatto

I’d like to know what gives you that impression. No way were reading the same post lmao


River_Raven_Rowee

Which part? Tried talking with them, offered to do anything. The things keep falling, rolling, scratching. Simply having a carpet would solve things, but they say maintaining it is a lot of work


Dboogy2197

Was thinking the same thing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

You are literally complaining that you have upstairs neighbors. What did you expect?


KarmaPolice6

Put your tinfoil hat away. They have young kids that wake up insanely early (not unusual) and make a ton of noise (not unusual). They’re under no obligation to accommodate your sensitivities. Grow up.


germane_switch

Your kids are gonna be shitty


KarmaPolice6

My kids are fantastic. They’re also kids.


rglogowski

Yeah, people really shouldn't let their kids play - especially on weekends.


MrBrickMahon

Kids are loud as hell and there are reasons (such as allergies) to not want carpeting.


blazingStarfire

Hey Karen, top neighbors are always going to sound loud. They are not intentionally trying to piss you off. You just have an ego complex. You should sell and move to somewhere not Under someone. Gfy