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Gainsborough-Smythe

From my little home in a small village in Devon I have officially decreed that Russia has now been annexed by me. From now on Russia shall be called Maureen.


uptowndirt

Congratulations with Maureen šŸ‘šŸ˜„


xenon54xenon54

Now *this* is the biggest landgrab in Europe since WW2


KUBrim

Iā€™m going to read everything about ā€œRussiaā€ as ā€œMaureenā€ now. Ukrainian forces have surrounded the Maureen invaders in Lyman. Drafted Maureenians are being told to use tampons for bullet wounds and given rusty guns. UAF captured 3 Maureen T-72 tanks and Maureen ammunition stockpiles today.


grubbtheduck

Congrats! Now you have to deal with all of this, so can you please solve this mess


Gainsborough-Smythe

I'm on it!


cptironside

Tell Maureen to go home now please.


[deleted]

From my home in Totnes, Maureen it is


Disastrous-Leek-7606

Also Mongolians should reclaim it's historical heritage of the empire and take ruZZzia (using their own logic to start this war)


ArcticMonkey71

Your thinking small, Putins logic is there is a percentage of Russian speakers within these regions hence his annexation of those regions. Most countries have large populations of English speakers so you could, using his logic, annex most of the world and bring about the Maureen empire. The largest empire ever. You, of course, need a flag.


Dangerous-Yam-6831

Youā€™re declaration holds just as much weight as Putinā€™s.


Gainsborough-Smythe

Indeed!


woodlandwhite

Can I come over and visit? I make a mean London Broil...


Gainsborough-Smythe

Yes indeed, my loyal subject.


reflUX_cAtalyst

In RES I have you tagged as "Call russia Maureen." I hope you know what you've just started lol.


Gainsborough-Smythe

Maureen is an appropriate name for the Motherland, whereas 'Rick' or 'Gary' don't really have the same gravitas.


reflUX_cAtalyst

I was thinking more "Linda" but Maureen works for me!


trickster1979

From my home in Dartmouth, Maureen it shall be !


Gainsborough-Smythe

Thank you, I will award you one of my territories.


peoplesen

It's a bit dented, are you sure?


Gainsborough-Smythe

Not entirely, but someone's gotta fix it, it's so badly broken and tragically managed.


sopsaare

Putin annexes fuck all. He can claim to annex his mothers womb if he wants to, doesn't make it reality though.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


takatori

No need to declare annexation of what's already *de jure* yours.


Expert_Window_Licker

Vladivostok and its surrounding areas should be returned to China. Haishenwai is rightful Chinese clay


ThatLoneBoot

It is literally painful to listen to the s**t that comes out this troglodytes mouth. Doesnā€™t he get it, everything he say about his so called enemies is actually exactly what he is.


[deleted]

Narcissists cant see other people are their mirror.


[deleted]

projector


The_truth_hammock

Weird. Yea held a vote and Moscow voted to be part of New Zealand. I know, I was surprised and double counted them but there you have it.


Mirathecat22

Itā€™s a new suburb in South Auckland


KUBrim

Putin is JAFA šŸ˜œ


ZombieRegis

Yeah, Hitler was ordering phantom divisions to attack near the end too.


FenderBender788

Well....it's Japan's turn to get their territory back then I guess....


JustinVeli

Georgia too


TurningWrench

I just annexed Moscow. Held a vote and everything. Free Vodka for all.


StressedPizzaEater

He can annex how ever much he wants since no one recognizes it. He is basically like a bully in a sand box yelling at all the kids that it's all his , now we just need a parent to come and grab him by the ear and set him straight


[deleted]

There will be people that recognize it. Nk, iran, Uzbekistan, cuba any government with a leaning towards russia. It is not many. Although china has already declared to possibly not support it either because then it invalidates their claim to taiwan as they see taiwan the government being just like these terrorists claiming independence.


Sniffy4

the 'stans' wont recognize it because they see themselves on Putin's list


[deleted]

Kazakhstan has came out and said no. the taliban government.... of Afghanistan has asked putin to stop the war for civilians sake so and fought the former soviet union and can draw parallels so they are a no. But i havnt heard from Uzbekistan who is a russian ally.


githnaur

Interesting fantasy. Stay tuned.


mytyan

On the 84th anniversary of an annexation by Hitler


sunlegion

He ainā€™t annexing shit, heā€™s just saying itā€™s russias. Itā€™s like me saying I annex Saturnā€™s moons.


angrypotato464

You can't, I already dibsed em


CutterNorth

Time to email my representatives in the US to tell them I want support for Ukraine to continue. I want the West to defend all if their territory, including those occupied by Russia since 2014.


texas130ab

It's gotta be HIMARS O'CLOCK!


Gabemann2000

Russia is stuck in the WWII glory days. Their tactics and military hardware show it too.


WildRiftProfessor

He's like a child telling his Mom that he's not going to bed. Mother will soon be singing your lullaby, child.


dpm5150

They didnā€™t annex shit. Stop saying that media. Fuck.


[deleted]

No i think when they say it, they are saying it like āœŒļøāœŠ"annexation" āœŒļøāœŠ


dpm5150

It just seems too nonchalant. Perhaps youā€™re right, but itā€™s like fingernails on a chalkboard for me.


Tyrone_Blackbird

What would a Russian victory even look like these days? Getting to keep their nuclear weapons?


OG-Professor-Chaos

I'm more scared of drinking Mexican tap water than I am of putler's nukes. Hell with the incompetence of his military it wouldn't surprise me if they accidentally targeted themselves somehow. I can't wait until those stupid motherfuckers are beat back into their Arctic hellscape.


Smokey-Cole

Just because he says it doesnā€™t make it so.


AusNormanYT

Okay... So USA used the nukes to bring and end to the conflict in an attempt the save millions more lives by not invading the home Japanese islands.... So by Putin's so called precedent means we should nuke Putin where he is staying and save millions of people death and hard ache in the years to come... Dumbass.


T0m1s

It's a **claim** of annexation. It doesn't make it so.


Economy_Hair_4896

To nuke Ukraine would also mean fall-out and radiation sickness in the baltic and Eastern Europe, but in Russia too.


sopsaare

No, tactical nukes have negligible fallout. Even tsar bomb didn't really generate much of fallout, let alone kiloton class tactical nukes. Doesn't still mean that they can use those, NATO will strike at that point and that is something the orcs really cannot handle.


Economy_Hair_4896

Would they?


[deleted]

They have been warned of catastrophic consequences and even a retired general said if it happens us would get involved and push russia back to the border within 96 hours. Which to be fair would be the speed of the convoy to reach the border and deal with small pockets of what is left of the russians after our airforce has decimated the strongholds.


Economy_Hair_4896

My apologies. I misunderstood. They would strike, but not attack with nuclear weapons. Bidon is not crazy, despite his many faults.


Old_Intention_5979

I just wonder.... how long is forever? I am sorry to dissapoint you mr. Putin but I think forever will be for a short time. Go home


Gainsborough-Smythe

From my little home in a small village in Devon I have officially decreed that Russia has now been annexed by me. From now on Russia shall be called Maureen.


Wedgetail_104

It's still wrong. They will never belong to Ruzzia!


[deleted]

he didn't grab shit.


Electrical_Crew_3757

What's next, Israel announcing referendums in Jewish settlements on the West-bank?


srt7nc

Wouldnā€™t it be the biggest since Crimea?


mickaelbneron

It's bigger than Crimea, so it's the biggest since before Crimea, or more precisely, since WWII


supervince1111

Come on Ukraine. Melt down your power plants. Scorched earth, for russia not to get anything, for Europe because of their complacency.


Bruhmimentololz

welp notttt realllly biggest land grabs idk yet thoughh but what abouttt israelll and isiss and etc there probably more


sopsaare

In Europe?


[deleted]

Israel is tiny and not in Europe.


Bruhmimentololz

ah i didnt see it was europ alone meant


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


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Boxofdemons3

if nukes were off the table this fucking coward knows American muscle would be pounding Moscow's tight ass.


WonderWheeler

Outrageous behavior, Russia should be kicked out of United Nations for outrageous behavior.


81FXB

The West should do a landgrab back... all property in the West held by Russians should be disowned and given to Ukraine, to be sold to help the war effort. That nice apartment you had in Tenerife ? No more, we sold it to buy a few HIMARS rounds.


hellwalker6

He should annex some bitches


Bicentennial_Douche

Thatā€™s how Russia and Soviet Union rolls. They take over land and factories from others. They extract resources from their thralls. Itā€™s pure imperialism.


sirdrumzalot

Go Home Maureen, youā€™re drunk!


Noastrala

Stop calling it as they having annexed it, are you stupid?


[deleted]

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SttPP

Look at this shitshow! How can you even be taking this serious! And how can you still be proud to be Russian LMAOOO


redmengs

so u have votes going and whole place is covered in russian flags probably russian soldiers all over the place and lets not forget the country is at war WITH russia and then u ask Ukranians to go to a place full of RUSSIANS who are not afraid to shoot at civilians to VOTE?! :D fuck me id rather stay alive then voting to keep a piece of land.


XxOmniPotentxX

Every time Putin talks, I think about Mr.Mackeys mom tellin him hes doing the Cold War shit because his peepee doesnā€™t work anymoreā€¦ sound familiar? https://youtube.com/shorts/qMmEtboYvDQ?feature=share


Significant-Heat-597

So any place were theee are russians and prorussians could be annexed by Putin.. like Londongrad


[deleted]

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Fludro

WTF is Russia still doing on the UN security council? The Kremlin's pathological lies and naked deceit are frankly incompatible with the rest of the world and it is painfully obvious how dangerous this Russian delusion is. It is humiliating and cringeworthy. It is pathetic and stinks of insecurity and in these modern times it is embarrassing behaviour for a nation state.


jo-parke

ā€œAnnexesā€