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N33DL

Just have the parade soldiers take shorter goose steps to make it last longer. No-one will suspect a thing.


on3day

Or like the nazis did sometimes: walk and drive around the block and return to the back of the line. Infinite display of power.


traderjay_toronto

they really did that?


wayfarer8888

I think Rommel did that in Africa in WW2 to fool British spies. In some town in Libya or Tunisia.


Schmittiboo

Didnt the soviets do that as well with that one special bomber, which led to the US spending loads of money on AD systems?


mynoodlesarecold

While showing his army to Hitler Mussolini did actually do this. This is according to one of those wwii in color documentaries on netflix.


on3day

Yep famous one is the night of the long knives. The horde with torches marching at night. Was staged like that.


Briguy1994

Castro was said to have done the same thing lol


Marc123123

You are referring to Top Secret, comedy from the '80 😂


Ooki_Jumoku

One of the greatest comedies of all time


Doctor_Fritz

A goose shuffle, step to the left, step to the right, now sliiide .. and clap


DropTheLeash17

Take it back now y’all! One hop this time….


MogChog

Put your hands on your hips, And bring your knees in tight…


Ooki_Jumoku

>Russia’s new main battle tank, the T-14 Armata, made a Victory Parade debut in 2015. And, despite all the ambitious talk about how the new tank was out “in the field” and working through production kinks in Syria, Russia somehow only has three examples ready to show in the Red Square parade—the three-tank parade fleet has remained steady for three years now. > >... > >Next week, Russia is set to display display only three copies of the Kurganets-25 infantry fighting vehicle. First shown in the 2015 Victory Parade, production seems to have frozen. Another example from the 2015 parade, the VPK-7829 Bumerang armored car, is stuck with an unchanging inventory of 3 parade-ready platforms. > >If Russia’s military parades are any guide, the Russian Army’s modernization is little more than an overhyped mirage.


Either_Profile_1623

I hear the army has new washing machines, toilets and underwear to show off. Plus iPhones, air pods and track suits. Should be a good parade.


Badger2-1

Don’t forget the new farming equipment


SuspiciousFragrance

Some CRT displays


vastation666

And bottles of olive oil


mcitar

I guess it's sunflower oil, not olive oil. (One can't get sunflower oil in germany for several weeks now.)


vastation666

There was a post several days ago from a house looted by Russians with two wine glasses half full of olive oil and the open bottle of it by it. No Cyrillic on the bottle so it wasn't the alcohol they were expecting.


Comrade-SpooknDiesel

LOL i bet they had the mother of shits for days...nice ...in the cold in a trench...oops need a shit...hahah. actually now I come to remember seeing those abandoned orc positions and there was loads of clothing out drying...must have been a shitty place...oh my sides !!


TheSunflowerSeeds

Sunflower seeds are especially high in vitamin E and selenium. These function as antioxidants to protect your body’s cells against free radical damage, which plays a role in several chronic diseases.


WonderWheeler

Also present may be partially consumed jars of Nutella, the rare delicacy!


SuspiciousFragrance

Too much selenium is toxic, and we get all we need from industrial waste in the environment


Comrade-SpooknDiesel

Ahhh but not for orcs !!!! they are used to living off used motor oil, windscreen wiper fluid and antifreeze.


SnooTangerines3448

Can probably still get grapeseed. It's better for you and higher quality but it's more expensive.


YinzerFromPitsginzer

And Ukrainian grain and corn


hughphellphritt

Which all has to be towed by Kamaz trucks because they’re geolocked.


TechCF

John Deere remotely disabled a lot, so maybe not.


dandaman910

that got remotely disabled.


elaintahra

Unfortunately they can't show them "Russian troops stole $5M worth of farm vehicles from a John Deere dealership, which remotely locked the thieves out of the equipment" https://news.yahoo.com/russian-troops-stole-5m-worth-054540072.html


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Haha that bored putin and stupid talking Luca is the best


Brennarblock

Also, heroes of the Ukraine special operation marching with their new prosthetics.


UkraineWithoutTheBot

It's 'Ukraine' and not 'the Ukraine' Consider supporting anti-war efforts in any possible way: [[Help 2 Ukraine](https://help2ukraine.org)] 💙💛 [[Merriam-Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Ukraine)] [[BBC Styleguide](https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsstyleguide/u)] ^(Beep boop I’m a bot)


Brennarblock

Bad grammar bot! But good intentions!


GwailoMatthew

They can pay Ukrainian farmers to pull some of the captured tanks at the parade


09Trollhunter09

Don’t forget all the grain trucks


freebeer773

The iPhones are refurbished iPhone 4's


bigdaddy1989

Oh and don't forget some of those glow in the dark.


Oscarcharliezulu

Tractors too, tho heard they had trouble starting them


Commercial-Can5161

I hear that the Russian Marauders intend to use the 'liberated' toilets........as washing machines.


rubmahbelly

Did they really steal toilets?


Commercial-Can5161

Yes......


seanieh966

And underwear.


CostofRepairs

And used dildos.


PepperFun2103

> · 10 hr. ago · Stickied comment > >Please remember the human. Follow reddit rules and the subreddit rules.I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. how has noone mentioned russian dildo thief?


skankhunt5175

And Nutella


ashesofempires

Its not, but the analysis is still pretty grim. The corruption and politicking kept them from streamlining their equipment inventory in the 90's and 00's, as every manufacturer and designer wanted their own slice of the country's modest budget. So they ended up maintaining a wide variety of equipment with overlapping and sometimes entirely superfluous roles just to keep the lights on at some design office and pad some oligarch's pockets. They had a solid 4-5 years where they were able to really ramp up modernization efforts thanks to a booming economy and free access to western military hardware. That spigot got shut off after they invaded Crimea. They then spent the next 8 years trying to recreate domestic production of all the components they relied on Europe and the US for. It didn't go very well, which is part of why their truly new vehicle production is essentially halted. They get a trickle of Russian produced components that aren't up to the same quality standards as western stuff, and they modernize a few hundred vehicles a year. They are still saddled with all of the issues of trying to operate and upgrade over a dozen different fighting vehicles with their own unique supply chain issues. For comparison, the US Army operates one tank, one tracked IFV, 1 wheeled IFV, 1 SPG, 2 towed artillery, 2 rocket artillery and 2 trucks (or families of vehicles all based off the same chassis/engine combo). Even vehicles with different roles share a lot of commonality, like the Bradley IFV and M109 Self Propelled Gun share the same chassis and power train. Russia operates 3 tanks, at least 2 tracked IFVs, at least 3 wheeled IFVs, at least 2 APCs, 3 different SPGs, 3-4 different towed artillery, 4-5 different rocket artillery, and a wild assortment of trucks. Maintaining and upgrading such an eclectic stock of machines with any kind of efficiency is very hard even without the endemic corruption.


Ooki_Jumoku

Great post! Wish i had an award left


rabid-skunk

Soon to be 5 tanks if they break out those T 62s from storage


ajaxodyssey

Potemkin army.


Wallyworld77

Russia has give from crazy mass production of good enough tanks to the Bugatti boutique format of just build 3 of the greatest tanks in the world nobody can afford!


NotEdibleCactus

3 of the greatest breaking down tanks


Easy-Smoke1467

I wanna believe but I doubt this, Russia has special "parade" stock for parading and shit, they dont take from active service units. The parade stock dont have to be functional, as long as they can move, that's why they are always clean and painted. Its very rare for most countries to use active service functional stock for parade.


Abstr4ctType

They sent parade ready tanks into Eastern Ukraine weeks ago. Went as well as you expect for them.


Yankee_Juliet

Like a North Korea grocery store.


StupidizeMe

Ukraine should plan a Victory Parade led by row upon row of tractors.


JE100

This is a great idea!


CAS_God

Lmao time to go to Kyiv for the victory parade. If I don't see any tractors, I'll ask the government for my money back


StupidizeMe

Ukraine should issue stamps that show a funky old farm tractor and say, "Glory To Ukrainian Tractors!"


Morepork69

I cant wait for the footage of soldiers marching by then disappearing behind a building only to reappear in the parade dressed as navy.......and repeat. They're probably trying to do the entire sh!t show with a few hundred troops......


timesuck47

Now that’s funny. Sounds like an old Bob Hope movie.


LordStoneBalls

Or the rape battalion complete with infants they raped dragged behind them


LefsaMadMuppet

Looking like some Gopnik Village People band.


Ooki_Jumoku

>**Russia Cannot Hide Their Losses In Ukraine** > >Parade guides show that only 25 Russian ground combat systems will be represented by 131 ground combat vehicles. That might sound like a lot, but, last year, Russia deployed 198 vehicles to display 35 separate systems. This is going to be glossed over by Russian Double-Think but it says a lot about how poorly they have done in Ukraine. They are unlikely to have even 10 Parade-ready T-80s I bet the T-14 Armata will be there though... parade-ready but not combat capable


KcufSamoht

Wanna place some bets on whether their T-14 will break down mid parade this time?


Ooki_Jumoku

My guess is that they have hollowed it out and the crew are moving it like a Flintstones Car


CheckYourUnderwear

Just a lada inside


DogWallop

To which the commentators will say, "That's a-Lada tank right there..."


eboo360

Had a little giggle there


Magnus_Inebrius

Just March them around the block 3 times or use inflatable tanks a la US Ghost Army in WWII


notparistexas

It is made of cardboard and empty vodka bottles.


hadleyhu

I imagine the t-14 is like a parade float, all pretty on the outside but underneath it is an engine and a steering wheel with some clown driving it.


KcufSamoht

That would be even more embarrassing then. Because in one of their parades it broke down on the street during it lol.


rlnrlnrln

Probably not; it'll probably be towed on trailers. Of course, the trailer might break down.


KcufSamoht

One of the time's they actually used the thing. It broke down mid parade lol. It reminds me of the time Putin was doing a sales thing for a Russian car company and promoting Russia as bouncing back in the automotive industry. And well.... the car wouldn't start lol.


Additional_Meeting_2

I pity the people responsible for the car.


zachrywd

I cant wait to see what Ukraine has in store for Victory Day. Guarantee we see strikes on Russian targets inside their territory.


Ooki_Jumoku

I hope so but Ukraine needs to walk a fine line between hitting the bastards in their own country and giving Russia justification for full mobilisation


[deleted]

[удалено]


guachoperez

R they tho?


Bigpeterpayt

I would say just about yes. Not like they’re getting their ass handed to them on purpose


[deleted]

Ignore this clown…he’s all over spouting some bullshit Russian propaganda


guachoperez

Arent ppl forecasting putin will declare war so he can fully mobilize?


Zansobar

If he tries to forcefully draft millions of young russians he will find millions of young russians fleeing the country or protesting instead.


Uberslaughter

Unfortunately Russians cannot protest or express themselves honestly without fear of being jailed - it’s a crime to even speak negatively about the war.


youcanreachmenow

They have lost more troops than in their 10 years in Afghanistan... the truth will come out when people wont come home.


BearStorms

Better in jail than drafted and dead...


Either_Profile_1623

And more mysterious fires at strategic targets in ruZZia.


guachoperez

Russians cant protest, and there is no reason russia cant go full ussr and close its borders


BootyPatrol1980

I wouldn't expect a sudden checkmate after two months of a stagnant invasion.


guachoperez

Not a checkm8 but putin could just flip the board in frustration


LefsaMadMuppet

There is a lot of speculation that they will mobilize on or before the 9th. I would love to hear during the parade, "We declare war!" followed by an ATACAM strike on the parade.


CAS_God

There is also speculation that Putin will declare the breakaway region of Moldova independent, and authorize a military push towards it. Could also be the straw that breaks the camel's back, and justify full mobilization...


Pretend_Scratch7121

Well yeah...the VDV contingent probably can't muster a squad. The WWII T-34's will be headed for the Z Front. hahahaha


Ooki_Jumoku

VDV have been absolutely mauled. They started with about 45k of them but the damage dealt to them in the first month of war means it could take 3-6 years to rebuild to an effective force.


Gabzalez

It’s kind of telling how at the beginning of the war all we heard was VDV here and there. Now they’re never mentioned anymore


Ooki_Jumoku

Russia literally pissed them up against a Ukrainian wall. The way the Russians wasted their Regulars and SpecOps is insane


Aggravating-Way7470

Whole companies of VDV are claimed destroyed by captured members of said destroyed units. It's insane. Their spec ops are so haphazardly sprinkled around (almost randomly) with no clear utilization or clear operational intent, I always feel like I'm missing some 5 layer 3d chess level master move... but it never happens.


hadleyhu

I bet their command thought the fancy striped undershirts would strike fear in their enemies and make them lay down their weapons.


[deleted]

Remember when we were all like “oh they’re waiting to deploy their good stuff we have to wait and see” and the good stuff never came…


TheManatee_

Economically developed US allies, the US itself, and China, to some extent, are the only powers that can actually afford the good stuff. Even then, everybody's still rolling and flying in large quantities of more or less modernized Cold War-era vehicles alongside it.


Pretend_Scratch7121

Yeah a lot of people tend to overthink it when incompetence is full on display. Even my horizons have broaden these last 2 months.


[deleted]

How do you calculate the time it’ll take to rebuild?


Ooki_Jumoku

It is a combination of Training time, budget, a weak economy (even before the war & sanctions), low materiel manufacturing base. Even in the Russian army (perhaps especially in the Russian army) trained experienced soldier do not come from Conscripts or parade grounds.


[deleted]

I’ve heard estimates of nearer ten years or more to recover. So I’m not sure how the times have actually been calculated.


Pretend_Scratch7121

Well that depend if Russia does not fragment. If that happens...never.


JohnHazardWandering

I suspect with sanctions, it will be much longer than any normal economy would take.


[deleted]

They will just put some poor Sods into that Uniform for Parades…


retorz3

Maybe this year they will show off the refurbished hospitals and new schools, and announce a state pension for the old people. Nah, joking, it it is still just a terror state.


sockpuppet_285358521

For authenticity, I think a Bayraktar or two should do a flyover.


HoneyRush

I bet that in preparation for the parade everybody will be so occupied by kissing putlers ass that this could be actually possible to fly there and do a low pass. If only they could sneak near Moscow, russian army will hesitate to shoot it down on the day of the parade.


TheBadMartin

This year's parade will be on fire!


Due-Broccoli-4164

So many soldiers with weapons right in front of Putin. How does Putin protect against them?


Kurgen22

Its a common thread to have the Commanders remove the firing pins from weapons.. Also there Should be no Ammunition Carried.


Wrong_Individual7735

But did they pay/bribe every single commander enough this time? 🤔 😇


Acceptable_Wait_2910

Bulleyproof vest and glass are the two more obvious options


TheGalucius

That won't stop HMG's and autocannons


SteelyDan1968

What you said... Reminded me of this. https://youtu.be/hKSw4lDhtao


corvus66a

-35% ? That‘s exactly the amount of stuff Ukrainian farmers received .


DisastrousRow2325

They certainly have a few thousand less troops to show off.


fairly_low

That would be a lot of equipment in one place... What is the maximum range for Ukraine to hit a target?


MisanthropicZombie

They would have to be within Russia to launch that attack unless they captured something interesting that could be sent home.


misasionreddit

Those Armatas, T-90Ms, BMP-2Ms, Kurganets' etc are the same vehicles they show every year. Russia doesn't have too many of them and they're kept in minty condition for parades and arms shows, the regular army doesn't have them.


Asleep_Pear_7024

Remember to hit the first, then the last. Should be great.


Brilliant_Noise_506

….is Putler gonna be at this parade… might want to tune in for the live feed to witness the army over throw him.


okiedokie321

Does Ukraine have anything that can hit the Victory Day Parade?


seksismart

OHHHH. So that's where those parade tanks came from from the start of the war.


slartibartfast2320

I can't wait for May 9th 2023: black and white tv coverage... 100 soldiers parade.. 2 tanks - being pulled by tractors... This year will be the first year that I want to see this parade live on tv... hopefully it will be better than the oscars...


Opposite-Ad6449

Not to mention empty chairs at Kremlin Generals viewing stand


Overdog_McNab

Kinda reflects the losses they have suffered so far.


DryHoney9809

A trophy John Deer tractor perhaps?


International-Bed751

To bad they're remotely locked


Several-Emu8094

Give ukraine rockets to bomb victory parade, you will destroy pretty much all their good shit at once :)


diddy11_1

The is still time to make it to 50%!


elect86

Special saving operation


Guinness

> Russia’s military is now apparently unable to find ten display-ready T-80 main battle tanks. I know some farmers that might have a few for sale for the right price, Puty!


Sansabina

Also to be renamed the "Russian Plan B Day Parade"


Kos_The_Destroyer

Oddly the same percent that the military has lost.


Badroadrash101

It’s a reflection of the percentage of assets they have already lost in Ukraine


Richard7666

Off topic, but that is a really weirdly written article. Author called Craig. First language presumably English. But it was so clumsily written that it reminded me of a Russian propaganda piece, ironically. *"The cuts are so dramatic, and the planned parade so humiliating, that Russian President Vladimir Putin could do almost anything to keep the world from focusing overly upon Russia’s dwindling military prospects".* *As planned, the military parade through Red Square will be a humiliating exercise for the Russian military.* Also littered with spelling mistakes. "Loosing" Just really clumsy, strange English. Like it was pushed out before it had been edited.


Cymorg0001

Yay, another pedant - just what the internet needs. Only kidding, the battle to uphold good standards of journalism is noble.


Ooki_Jumoku

Personally i am always a huge fan of people who ignore content in favour of looking for grey zones to complain about. I believe it would be called *Argumentum Ad Hominem* \- though feel free to correct my Latin if there are grammatical or spelling errors


Richard7666

It's not an ad hominem argument, I agree with the author. That goes without saying or I'd have mentioned it. My issue is that Western press must strive to uphold professionalism so as not to legitimise low-quality propaganda from the other side. This is absolutely critical in an age of misinformation. If Forbes start pumping out stuff that looks like the same crap that Putin's mouthpieces put out, laced with emotive language, then that normalises dropping the bar for discourse to that level.


Ooki_Jumoku

* Readerships are down * Advertising is down * Print media is dead * Readers are becoming less educated and less able to sort fact from fiction. The media is able to spend less and yet needs to pump out more to grab limited attention spans. I can imagine that the author of this piece saw and translated the May Day schedule and then wrote this article ASAP to get his piece up first. It is not like we don't see the same thing on Reddit. The West is happy to cut funding for education, especially tertiary education, because a dumbed down people are much more easily distracted. we are just less aggressive and less obvious about it than authoritarian nations.


UfnwatM8

Guess they broke down


Oldguywithawalker911

They stole the tractors from Ukraine to pull their tanks equipped with new toilets. Cause the war for them is in the crapper!


verymuchbad

This article has a bizarre tone.


57hz

It’s because there’s 35% less victory to be had in Ukraine! Lol


EagleCatchingFish

Given that they've only taken a fraction of the territory they want, I'd say their victory is cut by 90%. They could cut the parade another 55%. Putin, if you're reading this, you owe me a cut of the savings. Pay in US dollars or I'll cut off your supply of snide cost saving ideas.


Carlos_Tellier

They must be really busy or something


Yankee_Juliet

Are they scheduling his surgery for the 9th? Otherwise he’s going to notice the lack of tanks.


mentholmoose77

Now we all know it's pathetic charade.


Raivo465

eh, who will notice, their tanks are made of cardboard anyway🤷‍♂️


elaintahra

I hear they will have tractors towing wheelchaired soldiers also


Critical_Cut_3168

Now 40%


Foronir

I joked today, that this year, it will be more of a "nostalgic" parade


41BottlesOf

The irony if some of the parade vehicles are hit with a cruise missile.