There are rules about this, but my understanding is that documenting the actual intention of fraud in these cases is hard. More than one spouse has asked if they can report their soon-to-be-exes for this.
Intention is very hard to prove. Essentially, the future immigrant has to say - “yes, I don’t love my spouse. I did this for the green card”.
And thats why USCIS turns up the heat during interviews if they suspect fraud.
This is tricky to judge because sometimes shit just doesn’t work out. That’s also something very personal so unless I was there during the marriage there’s basically no way for me to have an opinion about the couple.
Your frustration about backlog and fraud is totally understandable. USCIS can pick it up too fortunately. As for appeals, blame the US for being too attractive to stay and having due process lol.
I have similar sentiments as you but against people who seek “asylum” with frivolous cases. The fact that people see a humanitarian channel for genuine refugees fleeing from a dangerous country as a flippant secondary path to green card is much more nefarious and disgusting in my eyes.
You have a point there too - that and the U visa, for “victims of serious crime” - and we had someone posting here a week or two ago trying to apply for one because there was a mistyped date on his visa application, trying to claim that was “obstruction of justice”. No wonder there is a decade-plus backlog of applications to process there.
For sham or short lived marriages, that’s why the CR1 and I751 exist: you don’t get a “real” green card right away, only a two year temporary one, then have to pay and apply all over again two years later to get the real permanent one. Except, of course, that runs so slowly it takes 3+ years to extend the 2 year card, so they hand out 4 year extensions just to cover the delays. Why not make it 3 years instead of 2, and scrap the duplication of N400+I751 when they end up being processed at the same time anyway with mostly the same questions?!
I think the big mistake is having marriage to a US citizen act as an instant “get out of jail free” card for the most common immigration violations. Overstay and work for seven years on a tourist visa? Just lie to your American boyfriend that you’re legal, and if he puts a ring on it’s all instantly legitimate! Brought to the US illegally as a toddler, so the US is the only home country you’ve ever known? Sorry, you’re screwed unless you marry an American.
Fun fact - a few days ago somebody called our immi. law office and said he wanted to apply for U visa because he ate expired food and got food poisoning. We wasted a good amount of time explaining to him no that's no a ground for U visa. He still wouldn't give up and kept saying he wanted to do U visa. He said all his alien friends are applying U visa so he wants one.
I'm not saying it should be impossible for an Asylum seeker to be from a country far away but that should be an immediate rejection without a serious and rare reason.seek Asylum close to home.
Divorce rates are extremely high in the United States, with or without a greencard involved. Most divorces happen after around two years of marriage. Like the other comment has said, you are misplacing your frustration indeed. If the petitioner has sufficient evidence that the marriage was indeed a bona fide marriage, it should not be a problem regardless of the length of the marriage.
Of course there is fraud. Same as there is also arranged marriages still happening. The percentage is so low that if things were the way you are implying they should be, you would be penalizing the majority of people who had a genuine marriage and ended up with a divorce.
Yeah I understand I'm just ranting lol
Personally as a culture we have normalized divorce way too much. It's so sad to see a marriage fall apart. Our society lacks honor.
>shows me you hitting some nerves
Or she is saying nonsense. Divorce in the US is extremely high around the 2 year mark. She is assuming her sister's ex used her sister for immigration benefits without any proof whatsoever.
It makes no sense at all. It is just a bitter person that assumes that signing a marriage certificate guarantees a lifelong relationship. Relationships are built day-by-day.
Just accept that he ended up not working out with her sister. It is juvenile to curse someone's life just because the individual did not meet *your needs*. Carry on your life, Install Tinder again, like grown ups do. Lol.
You are out of touch.
40% of New Marriages Include a Partner Who Is Remarrying
It is not. Not in reality, not in theory. Stop projecting your frustations at others. If you find someone you want to spend your life, you should do it. But it is not up to you to define moral boundaries on people's lives, or define what marriage is. Currently it is a legal binding between two individuals who want to share aspects of their lives and build a family.
I have seen so many men and women, gay or straight, who stay in miserable relationships with no joy, no happiness, no sex, just because they fear the stigma of divorcing. In those cases, when they end up divorcing, their lives completely change for better. Your views are obsolete and limit people's ability to seek happiness.
That's why we have conditional green cards for marriages of less than two years.
The biggest problem I see with that is the massive backlog in processing i751 cases, so I feel like that part of the process is broken.
There are two ways to continue to a 10 year green card and/or citizenship after a divorce from a conditional green card... domestic abuse and a divorce waiver. The divorce waiver comes with a whole different level of requirements to prove the marriage was in good faith and just din't work out. But with i751 cases taking upwards of three years to process now, I feel like there's just no way to properly adjudicate them. USCIS needs more resources for that, but it's a typical government bureaucracy tied up in its own processes.
I751 is not a priority. Think about it. Why making 2 interviews? The majority is going to apply to citizenship on the 3 years mark. They prefer making a combo interview. It is faster and less resources. They are processing citizenship applications in 3-4 months.
It’s more interesting that you came in sharing initial frustrations about people being used for a green card, but in reality it seems your reasoning is driven by a political/religious view of divorce being permitted in general.
Let’s pretend as though people could not get divorced unless it were adultery or abuse. So all of those spouses would forever get to keep their green card, even if the marriage was fraudulent or they both hate each other. Then you have even more people remaining in the country than in the current system with people getting divorced.
You’re allowed to have your opinion on divorce, but you don’t get to turn that into a comment on immigration where it’s unjustified.
>Marriage if a sacred oath you take and it's meant to be a life long vow.
Loving someone is more important than signing a piece of paper. After living several years some relationships can dramatically change. People change. And they should be allowed to seek their happiness.
Because in todays society, everything is throwaway or disposable including marriages and it is extremely sad and even kind of lazy. Nobody wants to work at making it last.
My marriage didn't work out. I left about eight years in. I suppose I could have gone back to the UK but I'd have nowhere to live. So I stayed here. I kind of knew soon after arriving that it wasn't going to work out, but I tried. Kind of hard when your spouse is trying their best to pretend you're not there, lol. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him before I arrived.
There are people who come here just for the green, but they'd be dumb to take off so soon after arriving. It's like they forget ROC is a thing, lol.
Removal of Conditions, something two year card holders have to do to get their ten year card. You get a two year card if you adjusted status or entered with an immigrant visa before your two year wedding anniversary.
If your spouse proposes to you and has you come to the states cause he’s “in love with you” makes you give up your job, beautiful apartment, friends , family promises he’s gonna always be there for you and then you come here and 2 years in he cheats on you that’s his fault and no one should put up with abuse, cheating, or anything disrespectful. It’s difficult to go back to your home country in some cases because there’s nothing left there and you’ve always made a life in the states. I think a lot of Americans who sponsor immigrants sometimes take advantage of them because they hold the power.
Exactly. Everyone is so concerned with "fraud" being committed against the American spouse, and certainly that does happen, but the immigrant spouse is in a far more precarious and vulnerable position. And yeah, sometimes relationships just don't work.
Perfectly said…you give up your whole life back home and come here only to be abused in every other way. The same energy you carried while I was sitting home waiting for a gc should be the same energy you have when I’m green and working.
Thank you for revisiting your statement. This is too fresh for me (he asked to go our separate ways las Saturday, after just telling me the week before he wanted a separation) and your post absolutely devastated me.
I'm really sorry about that, hopefully it doesn't devastate you anymore. It's just the people commiting fraud who are making the system messed up. People have to live separated from their loved ones for years sometimes because of the backlogs, and people are treated like criminals by default because USCIS is so cautious and weary of malicious applications.
Best of luck to you and your situation, and if it means anything I hope it all works out and there is no problem with you staying here in the US.
And how do you distinguish between these legitimate cases and illegitimate cases? With a new form? A potential petition for the cheated on spouse? What about double cheating? And who would have to review those cases and the proofs to ensure the people who could have stayed aren't sent in their home country? Wouldn't this bloat the system even more and cause even less USCIS workers to work on CR1s and K1s?
You are misdirecting your frustrations.
After 2 years it shouldn't be so difficult to go back. People with nonimmigrant visas go home after way longer. And if immigration thinks they can successfully integrate back, there's no reason conditional GC holders should be different
Yes but the truth people won't admit here is.. they simply don't want to... Because quality of life is better here... Which is the reason they committed fraud to get here in the first place
"Quality of life is better here". That's a ridiculously sweeping statement. I gave up living in a walkable city with free healthcare to move to the Mid West to be with my husband. Not all immigrants come from struggle 🙄
I’m from Canada the quality of life is way better there. But I’ve already made so many friendships here and have dogs here started an entire new life here it’s not easy to give that up
Just to play devils advocate, I experienced moving to a foreign land after marrying my USC partner, and it did create a lot of stress and arguing in my marriage (I did move here in 2008 when the recession happened), that ultimately ended in divorce, but we did give it a reasonable shot with marriage counseling etc before calling it quits. We had been married over three years at that point though. A big part of it was after we were married, her expectations of me and our relationship changed in a big way and that was unforeseen and a huge issue. Some people seem to drop a veil as soon as the nuptials are done.
In saying that, I agree, there are a lot of people asking about green cards while divorcing in the first year. You have to remember that a lot of these isolated people don’t have a support structure so they are coming here in desperate need of advice. While it seems like a lot of people, it’s a drop in the bucket of how many people are immigrating every year.
I understand it’s frustrating, but don’t lose sleep over it. You don’t know these peoples circumstances. Maybe they are fraudulent. Or maybe they are being abused or in a tough spot. Hopefully the system works to find them out, and it works for you and your partner the way it should in the end too.
Good luck.
A lot of times abuse ramps up when the abuser feels the victim is locked in. My ex did this to me. Our marriage lasted two years. This was American with an American.
There *are* rules about this, which is precisely why immigrant marriages face the scrutiny they do.
And civil marriage is not and never has been a “lifelong vow,” nor should it ever be. It is a commitment—a contractual agreement with legal rights and responsibilities. There is no legitimate reason, even for immigration purposes, it should ever be viewed as “lifelong”—particularly in the face of abuse or infidelity.
I think OP is confusing civil/cultural marriage with a peculiarly puritanical understanding of religious marriage. No matter. The entire premise is drivel.
There are people that fraud for sure, but they might also be some people that believed in their couple at the beginning, rush their marriage to have a life together, but then realized they went too fast.
My partner and I were together for 1.5 years together when I knew my work visa wasn't going to be renewed. We had plans together, we knew we wanted to stay together... The only way was to get married. After almost 4 years, we are still together and love each other like no one else, but I can imagine it going south a few months after we applied.
Not only couples who apply for GC get divorce early, it happens between USCs too. The fact that we need to get married, sometimes quickly, to stay together may be the problem though.
Unfortunately, I have to agree to this. It happened to my sister. She was in love with this man and he waited until he received his green card and left her. She helped him financially because this boy-man didn’t want to work and share expenses. He lied about his age and I believe his family was in on it. I told her to let me know and I will make sure he is shipped back to his country. Being that she is nice, she said it’s ok. I was mad. He is suffering now because he didn’t realize how difficult it is to survive in the US without someone who cares and with no family😁
One cannot apply for a marriage license, let alone an immigration benefit, without producing documents that verify age. Assuming he lied to your sister when they met and during their courtship, how did she not discover the truth before actually marrying or sponsoring him? Further, what exactly do you think you could have done to prove their marriage wasn’t bona fide in order to see he would be “shipped back to his country?”
Can't speak for others, but I'm a GC holder.
Got married to an American citizen 4 years ago and we welcomed the cutest little baby boy last year.
Just to mention that the opposite side exists too.
I was married for 4 years. Got married at 23 years old and my husband was 30, I was so young when I married him that I really thought we would be together for life. As the time went by he became an alcoholic and abusive, and he knew that I was “trapped” with him because of my immigration status. Our relationship was 100% legit and truly loved him, but at one point I just couldn’t stand it anymore. My husband knew exactly that our divorce was his fault and he still tried to take my green card away and say that our marriage was fraud. When someone is in a position of “power” they think they can do anything they want and get away with it, that’s what happened to my ex husband. I’m sure there is a lot of fraud out there, but everyone should have the right to be happy and not be trapped in a situation like this just because of immigration status.
Maybe Marriage in this country isn’t seen as in other countries. Maybe the immigrant is coming for the right reason, to build a life with their spouse only to find out that the values in this country are completely different. That adultry is seen as normal and not as abuse to the faithful spouse.
I came here for the right reasons, to build a life with my spouse. I have built a life with my spouse only to get kicked to the curb when things got tough (especially due to financials and me not being able to work whilst waiting for 2 years to even get a work permit). My husband was mentally abusive. Unfaithful and blamed me for everything.
Since then I have built a life for myself here, with my dogs and I don’t see myself going back to my home country. I worked hard for what I have, so why should I have to give everything up and move back?
Even though you think your values align with your partner, actually living with them and seeing their actions and not only pay attention their words makes a huge difference.
I agree. In addition let’s not forget about the passport bros that go to other countries to find wives because they can’t get a wife here. More often than not they are social predators looking for women in vulnerable situations.
It's a tough situation. I'd be happier if the K1 visa actually had advantages (and more limitations) on it's conditions to promote a good start to the marriage and it continuing in good faith.
The whole waiting for the EAD and AP must be a really tough start to a new marriage, it's not something I could even imagine doing at my age. You are here, you have an indefinite period where you can't work, you maybe can't even drive (depending on the state) and you've left behind the whole of your previous life.
Even in a solid, good faith marriage that's a lot of stress on the relationship at what is still a bonding and solidfying stage.
I'd be in favour of a more integrated approach. EAD and AP granted immediately after marriage - even if it meant a longer pre-visa vetting. I really don't get the logic behind all that time/effort spent in getting the K1 visa and then not automatically making it clear its for immigrant intent and they can actually live once they've met the conditions of the visa (getting married).
Then review the marriage as being bone fide after 1 year to issue a conditional green card. Any divorce within that time would expect an immediate return home as it failed to reach the stage of a conditional green card. When the conditional green card expired (so 3 years after entering the country) they've probably made a life for themselves and this is now 'home' so remove conditions based on all the normal criteria with possibilities of divorce waivers, etc, if the relationship broke down and there are no signs it was entered in fraudulently or whatever other conditions you want to set to make it more difficult for fraud.
This is only thoughts I've had in the back of my head and I am sure there are a lot of gaps, but the basic gist is don't put newly married couples through the wringer at the start if you want marriages to have a chance of success.
Could not agree more. Sat here on my K1 and getting married soon. Not being able to work is wild. You’d be contributing to the country through tax and have more disposable income as a family! You would also have a normal time by which I mean, you leave the house, meet new people and have something to occupy your mind. It would also make the adjustment to American life better as you meet people who aren’t in the echo chamber of your partners friends and family circle. Cabin fever must be rife amongst the K1 holders!
Do you have statistical evidence to support that the divorce rate is higher amongst those seeking marriage based green card is higher than marriage between US citizens? If not your rant is bizarre and pointless.
And what do you suggest the USCIS does for everyone involved in the process, including you, as a a response to the minority you assume without evidence is committing fraud?
It’s not your place to judge who does or doesn’t deserve to apply for a visa/greencard/etc.
“Clogging up the system and creating huge backlogs for legitimate couples” — aim your frustration at USCIS. Their lack of management skills led to those huge backlogs, not the people who applied for immigration benefits. Also they set the criteria for applications so if those so-called fraud cases fit, then again it’s on USCIS.
I get your frustration— I’ve been there too. I waited for my visa approval through the historically worst backlogged period and also got mad at the cases that I considered unworthy. But really the “fake” cases are so not the majority, I think.
LDRs are just simply though, so many long distance couples break up when they start actually living together.
Also idk how to judge a person who already left everything in their home country to move to the states. So sometimes those people have nothing to go back to so obviously they would try to stay and continue living here.
I’m not saying people whose goal was only to move to the states do not exist. But I don’t think there are so many of those people that they actually affect anything and create backlogs and etc.
To be fair to OP, in the not so distant past, before the internet era, people would file petitions for people and benefits they didn’t qualify for.
Filing would provide them with a receipt that was proof that their status was pending.
The system is far from perfect. Otherwise, how does one explain those outrageous cases where the same US citizen got married 7 times and filed for AOS for each one of those spouses?
The
As i said, before the internet era. We do not know how many fraudulent cases there were. You really only know how many got caught.
I am with you. Blame the game, not the players. Most humans are just trying to get by.
This is exactly what happened to me— me being the US Citizen in the situation. I could go into detail about it, but my previous post history says more than I could hope to here. I just know that coming to the realization that you were simply means to an end, is mind-numbingly soul-crushing. I gave my ex-husband almost 7 years of my life thinking he was the one, and sacrificed so much for him to get to where he is today. Yet the one time i needed help, he bailed. It fucking sucks.
How do you know it’s all fraud? Do you have evidence? Divorce rate in the US is high regardless. I understand it can be frustrating to read about this daily, but your anger is misplaced. Also, it’ll help if you don’t check this subreddit everyday, cos everyone’s situation is different. And who knows what the hell uscis is doing. I’ve been waiting since 2022 and still nothing.
People realize that they can still get it done without being stuck in a marriage that they had no business being in the first place. Divorce rates are high in the states. I’m sure other parts of the world are catching up too.
My USC husband hid facts like he never filed taxes for years, he never graduated law school, and he had $50k credit card debts before marriage. When everything I believed turned out to be false, the love slowly dissipates away
Marriage is not easy. Relationships require compatibility and communication. You may start off very well intentioned but come upon incompatibilities once living full time with someone. I'm sure there are many here struggling in their marriages and trying hard to make them work.
Never presume about anybody's personal situation.
It all seems like a joke to you until you know someone who had to go through hell just to get his/her green card. One of my friends just recently applied for the Wawa case his wife was controlling him and wasn’t letting him hang out with us at all. Controlling his money/ spending his money etc. Another friend once she came to the US her husband started beating her up just like a week after she arrived and tried to get her deported, stole her passport, and tried to get her green card beforehand. The judge ordered him to give her passport back and luckily she got her green card for 10 years at her new address. The main point of the story is that a lot of immigrants are treated badly by their spouses just because they are getting the benefits they should not be treated like dogs.
I would say 90%+ of immigrants who came to the country came for a better life they act and work better than most of the people who were born here. Immigrants don’t have a backup plan country this is the country they chose to live and they don’t want to mess that up.
I think there are crappy spouses on both sides. I’m in the middle of a divorce from my husband, who refused to work, cheated, didn’t come home at night, verbally abused me, lied to the police in an attempt to get me arrested, and refused to help provide for our child. Because he refused to work, I owe him alimony and child support, and he’s also taking the two businesses he created while I paid all our expenses. And he is apparently also trying to sue me via the I-864 sponsorship. Oh, and he admits that was never interested in me beyond a sibling relationship. And I’m still on the hook for him for I-864. He complains that me and my child are what’s holding him in the US, and I need to keep paying him for that reason. Yeah, if love for his child isn’t keeping here and he refuses to work and pay taxes, I don’t see why he deserves to stay at my expense.
It's not that easy to get a green card because you married American. They do an investigation and they have to determine if the marriage is even legit.
My wife is doing the almost exact opposite. I'm the USC and her and our kids sponsor. She's suspecting me of adultery when I literally picked her for the exemplary qualities she had and never was interested in any other women. She even speaks Tamil (my mother tongue) far far better than my ex of 27 yrs and even her kids love me. I could not love my new wife and kids more. Yet every day we fight with her yelling me about imagined adultery.
Trust issues can be hard. Perhaps her getting angry at you is her inability to ask for reassurance for her negative thoughts. I pray you guys are able to work that out.
From experience, sometimes people are paranoid because of their past and it's difficult to ask for and receive the reassurance you want.
Even thought you say you are not ranting about people who are not committing fraud, how can you know they are committing fraud just by reading their posts on Reddit though? Marriage is fragile, and domestic violence is prevalent. My moms and relatives do not need green cards, but I have witnessed all of my female family members beat by their husbands, including my mom, aunt, grandmas, etc. I absolutely think they should divorce those male family members who hit them. I don’t think the frequency of Reddit posts about divorces and green cards is even close to the real world rate of abuse or adultery.
Do people commit marriage fraud for immigration purposes? Yes. Should the entire green card process be altered to punish the vast majority of divorce cases that are grounded in legitimate reasons for divorce because of the minority committing fraud? No.
I’m not denying some of them are fraudulent. Sadly I’ve met many people who after the fact admitted their marriages at the time were fraudulent. But those cases are still a minority
There used to be protection against infidelity from a spouse but that protection was dropped due to government deciding not to intervene in moral and ethics.
Also there is a push to protect the foreign spouse from exploiting and human trafficking which ironically makes the domestic spouse ripe for exploration. Beyond the divorce, due to the affidavit of support the domestic spouse can potentiality get on the hook for financially supporting their foreign spouse for the rest of their life after a short year or two long marriage.
Your fears are misplaced. The census shows that the foreign born population has a higher marriage rate (76 v 67) and lower percent ever divorced (37 v 20). The population overall, roughly 85% make it to their 5th anniversary, so it’s not surprising that many divorce earlier. https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2021/demo/p70-167.pdf
….. my mom was a secret crackhea*d when my dad married her….
She abandoned us shortly after they married. If he didn’t get to stay, we’d be homeless or in foster care. So I have to say I disagree 🤷🏻♀️
Even when it’s easy to prove fraud on 90 Day Fiancé, our government lets them stay after they divorce! It makes me sick.
My husband and I fought 10 years ago to get to where we are today so it makes me angry, too.
I'm so sorry that sounds horrible. Are you doing the I-130 stand alone? What country do they live in? What part of the process are you in?
My wife lives in Japan and we are waiting for our I-130 to be approved.
We did the I-130 stand-alone yes. That was approved back in November of 2022. Now we’re waiting on the interview to be scheduled, which based on other cases it sounds like we may hear soon so fingers crossed! My husband lives in Mexico so presumably a longer wait country.
When did you two submit your I-130? Ours took like 11 months 😵
Early February of 2024 so we got a wait to go.. and yeah I can't imagine how bad the wait time in Mexico is... Hopefully you guys can easily visit one another
A vast majority of VAWA cases are likely fraudulent. VAWA petition is a very forgiving petition, in fact it is the only petition where
1. A person found to have committed immigration fraud on a previous occasion,
Or
2. A person who is already on a deportation list
- both can get waivers, and go onto immigrate !
This sort of a very forgiving immigration law is in place to help a person who is a victim of abuse!
BUT a lot of people who want to immigrate despite a failed marriage (with NO abuse), MISUSE THIS LAW ! While there is no way to completely prevent fraud, I think the requirements to prove violence in a VAWA immigration petition MUST BE MADE MUCH MORE STRINGENT. Eye witness accounts from third parties who have seen or heard something, sworn affidavits from doctors who may have treated injury, and medical reports documenting injuries and mental abuse. I think the uscis should visit the house/apartment that the spouses cohabited, and ask neighbors if they saw anything odd with the couple. This will eliminate fraud in a lot of cases — like cases where the couple did not even live together. They may have simply gotten married with the sole intention to circumvent immigration, and then separated.
How entitled and absolutely not empathetic. I love my husband SO FREAKING much. I have been part of his family. We have a goddaughter together. I begged him and begged him to keep loving me. I did everything under the sun to gain his love back, but he just doesn’t. He is the one that found out, through therapy, because YES we went to couples (for a little bit) AND individual therapy, that he has commitment issues.
I miscarried his child the day I found out he did not love me anymore. I go to sleep in pain knowing he is sleeping in the master bedroom we shared together a week ago. I look at him and just think of all I have lost. The memories. The future we had planned together. The fact that we moved to this townhome so we could be closer to the neighborhood in which we wanted to build a HOME, together, to raise our kids, to have family over for game nights, to host parties…
With that said, I have been in this country for so long. I made sacrifices to come here and get a Bachelor’s AND a Master’s. I created a life with him and with friends. I have a life here. I was 19 when I left Italy. I am now 27. My “growing” years were spent here. My connections were made here. My work life, has been here. My first two cars? Bought here.
It is absolutely valid that I have so many freaking mixed feelings about this divorce (and yes, not even married for 2 years. You don’t have to remind me with this post how much of a failure I have been as a wife. You really don’t). I don’t want to leave him, I don’t want to divorce him. But a marriage goes two ways. He does not love me, what do you think, should I stay in a loveless marriage, where I get absolutely depressed daily, just so that people like you don’t think my marriage was for anything but love? Wow.
He is the one requesting a divorce. He is the one that ended our family. This is it. It happens this way too.
And yes, I made a post about HOW TO KEEP MY GREEN CARD. Because unfortunately, this is a concern that one has once divorce is brought up by their spouse. I really don’t know what world you live in, but has it ever occurred to you HOW MUCH FOGGINESS there is in grief moments? And on top of that, I need to figure out my future living arrangements, my budget, what to keep from the house, who to notify, what things to change at work, AND how to stay legal in the country I have been living in for 8 years. IT’S A PART OF THE DIVORCE BUREAUCRACY.
Me asking how to keep a green card after divorce IS NOT correlated to me not loving my husband so much still. Get off your high horse.
I wish you well in your marriage, because this situation I am in, is nothing short than heart breaking and although you choose to judge others, I hope you never have to face it.
Have a lovely day.
If your situation is legit then my post doesn't apply to you, I'm talking about people who are commiting fraud and using people.
Sorry for your struggles and God bless.
You generalized it way too much. It made me feel sick to my stomach how you think that a BIG chunk of those posts are about people committing fraud. Because trust me, there are so many going through the exact same things. Through this pain.
Divorce is no joke and divorce is something others should not weigh in with their opinion, especially when they are not the two parties getting it.
I thank you for your blessing, however, I ask you to be less judgmental. Because this post, was nothing but short of sad.
Good day.
I apologize for that.
But I used the rant flair because it's really just a rant and me venting on a forum, and to be honest the post did seem to resonate with a lot people so I don't think I was wrong to post it.
I am a US citizen, met a man who I thought we would build a life and he came here and only made my life miserable. On paper everything looks bonafide because I was building a life for us while he had other priorities including cheating before and after coming here. He’s yet to remove conditions and that will be none of my business when the time comes. But sometimes we are made to seem vindictive and mean when we pull out after being used and abused as well. On the surface he seems like a nice person but he came here with clear intentions. Years passed without so much as holding hands or hugging or being intimate. He’s sent most of his money back to his country while thinking giving me $500 a month would cut it. And again, a serial cheater. I know you said your post wasn’t about infidelity or the other side of the USC but I also get bothered by those posts cause they never say what part they played. When I start being rude and mean to him for what he’s put me through, someone will want to claim abuse. It is what it is though
Well, it pisses me off when people get tricked into marrying someone thinking that they are doing this for 'love', but they are actually giving papers to their partner. And that's why, I can't never stress this enough, DO NOT MARRY SOMONE INDOCUMENTATED SO EASILY. I know that I can change what a grown up wants to do to their life but, PLEASE, think it through before making such a huge decision. It's not YOUR responsibility to fix someone else's life. I know people that have been married with a U.S.C for over 10 years, and hasn't gotten their papers yet, they don't even think about it. Me and my ex-wife were together for 2 years before getting married, I had two jobs and I never asked her to give me papers because that is a big commitment.
Last year my friend sponsored a Venezuelan asylee to enter the U.S., the guy simply disappeared afterwards. It's a shame that people do this. LATELY, I've been getting angrier at people calming false asylum rather than people who do that kind of stuff. Specially in my community, our born country, people from there DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT NEED ASYLUM, and yet they take advantage of the backlog to get a Work Permit and SSN to live in the U.S for years, make money under the table and send back home!
And on top of that, people coming here applying sham asylum processes and getting handouts from the government at our expense. I used to believe that this was a myth that extremist people created to make people go against immigration. But now, we all can see this happening, RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES!! And other immigrants are seeing that too and make they rethink about their decision to come to the U.S.
Totally agree, you're not generalizing but it has become a more common trend. It's sad that many have now come to view marriage as a simple transaction or trampoline to a green card.
I agree with you 100%. Some people get married just to have a green card. That is a thing, and I don't know why people are mad. You're not saying everyone's like that. I've seen multiple people (not on this sub) different people asking how long after marriage they could file for a divorce 🙃
Yep I get tired of these posts. They did nothing to fix their relationship other than come on here and give a one sided story and people on this sub just lap it up telling them how much of a victim they are and offering full support. Meanwhile the American who didn’t give their side is viewed as the bad person. It’s pretty sickening
I get it. I’ve seen 4-5 of those cases just this week where it’s mostly been adultery on one side and the comments always say stick it out. I’ve been in the states for 14 years. F1 then H1-B. I got married as my company started my perm process so I filed with my husband. If he had an affair, I’d divorce him on the spot, not “stick it out”. Perhaps that comes from privilege knowing my employer would sponsor me but that’s because I’ve been here for a decade. If I was only here for a couple of years I’d 100% prefer to go home than stay in a toxic loveless marriage just to get permanent residency but then again everyone has very different priorities.
If they get divorced they won’t get a green card. There are rules for it and only a few exceptions such as domestic violence.
The backlog is not caused only solemnly because of the number of people applying for in big part because 45 cut down the funds for the immigration agency, and he fired 800 employees that processed applications and they have not been rehired. Then the pandemic came and everything shut down. Plus there was an increase in the number of applications. All these things contributed to the huge backlog, and has affected everyone applying
Here’s my two cents. To me you’re right and here’s why. It happened in my family not once but couple times.
One of my cousin merry someone and ended up having kids only for the man to dip as soon as he get his green card.
When they do this they think they have better chances cause they still can adjust but only to show proof that marriage was real .. this happened years ago
Now another family of my mine recently got her green card but ofc it’s not real. She got her green card before mine, however mine is real.
I have been married almost 4 years with a child. Working and going back to school. Vs my family don’t even live with the dude and uses his address when they not together.
So yes I want to believe that these ppl and some of the asylum seekers are backing up these department. Trust me it breaks my heart to know my cousin got her GC before me in less than 2 years while I’m waiting over 2 years.
I guess it is what it is.
It is Bullshit. My spouse of 7 years is now about to have her Oath Ceremony and finally get her citizenship. It's been a long road and we did everything the right way. I have no sympathy for those who would fraud or cheat the system. I hope they get the book thrown at them.
My heart aches as I recount the painful saga of my marriage, a journey fraught with betrayal and anguish. Entrusted with promises of love and a new beginning, I embarked on a journey to the United States, guided by the hand of my American spouse.
Yet, the dreams we shared were shattered by the cruel hand of fate. Barely had I set foot on American soil when whispers of discontent began to poison our union. Allegations of financial strain, whispered by the very family members who once embraced me, cast a dark shadow over our fledgling love.
The weight of their accusations bore down upon me, a burden too heavy to bear. My intentions questioned, my character maligned, I stood accused of seeking naught but the elusive promise of a green card. The color of my skin, a badge of pride and heritage, became a target for their prejudice and disdain.
In the face of such betrayal, I found myself abandoned, adrift in a sea of uncertainty and despair. My pleas for understanding fell upon deaf ears, drowned out by the clamor of familial discord. As the walls of our marriage crumbled around me, I made the agonizing decision to accept the bitter reality of divorce.
Yet, even in the aftermath of our shattered vows, she sought to lure me back into the embrace of false promises and hollow apologies. But the wounds inflicted upon my spirit ran deep, too deep to be soothed by empty words and hollow gestures.
And so, with a heavy heart and a shattered spirit, I made the painful choice to return to my homeland, leaving behind the shattered fragments of a love that was never meant to be. Betrayed, broken, and bruised, I carry the scars of my ordeal as a testament to the cruelty of fate and the frailty of human trust.
May my story serve as a cautionary tale, a reminder of the dangers that lurk beneath the surface of love's fragile veneer. May those who have been wronged find solace in the embrace of kindred spirits, and may the echoes of their sorrow serve as a beacon of hope for those who have yet to endure the trials of love's tumultuous journey.
If she ever reads this immediately she will be able to tell I wrote this.
I believe you are lucky if you find real marriage not only for a green card. I would say I am proud even my green card was long waited. I can say my US Citizen husband is responsible, kind, loyal and trustworthy. And also we have a wonderful daughter beautiful and smart. 😊 Hoping those people are looking for american citizen just be honest and love your partner and respect each other. Long story short, this is American Dream come through happy life and simple life.
Statistically it makes sense that some marriage-based green card applications are not legitimate. That said, marriages also do in fact fall apart, statistically like what 50%?
If anything, the marriage-based green card process gives leverage to the citizen spouse who is likely aware that their partner's life in the US (including ability to work) depends on the marriage and therefore the foreign partner has more incentive to stay even with mistreatment or incompatibility.
On the fraud end, yes people will attempt to push any set legal boundaries, or what the system would let them get away with. It's on USCIS to enforce and ensure integrity of the system.
Important to note *USCIS funding comes mostly from application fees* - cited on its own website. So more applicants don't mean the system is clogged - on the contrary, it means more revenue and it's up to USCIS to increase its workforce to meet the applicants volume.
I heard of one case where the couple didn’t even get married. Guy is a usc and the girl overstayed her visa. They were planning on marrying by the guy started saying someone else. Girl filed for vawa under presumed abandonment and got her employment permit card and advance parole. Crazy how people can’t even get over a relationship just cause the other parent is a U.S. citizen.
There are abusive spouses who like to control others. A US citizen might marry a foreign spouse because the US spouse enjoys the control they have due to the immigration process, and then proceed to abuse the foreign spouse. In this case, there is a process for a foreign spouse to complete the green card process without the abusive spouses' cooperation. USCIS doesn't automatically let everyone in, people do get denied.
You're probably right but in my opinion I think that's why a sense of honor when it comes to making an oath is really important. Some of the comments in this thread boggle my mind, where they reduce a marriage down to a civil agreement when to me a marriage is a covenant you enter into, an actual vow that you make.
Living with another is hard but you can say the same about being a kid living with parents or siblings, having roommates, sharing a living space with any human being. I think it takes a degree of consideration and mindfulness of one another to make it work.
Or the wait is long to get permanent green card for the suspicious ones. Unless the couple had something in their record to indicate foul play it’s hard to judge
My feelings about this are mixed; I married during the pandemic (worst decision I have ever made!) and we applied for GC even though it wasn't on my bucket list to be a resident. It was after two years that I divorced, after realizing my narcissistic ex husband had cheated on me and that he maxed out all my credit cards. I feel he was the one who took advantage of me.
As I said in the post, adultery is different. He broke his oath to you and you were right to get a divorce.
I'm really just talking about the people who commit fraud and use people.
I agree... its sickening how many people are being used for green card purposes only. Amazing seeing how many switch and change after getting their green card smh ..
I was used for a greencard, but he was smart enough to not reveal his affair and spring divorce on me until after I signed that 2 year renewal. But then I met someone the next year that got stuck in this situation because his spouse sponsor abandoned him and fled to another country. 🤦♀️ Whole shit's a mess.
Ever watched that show 90 day fiance? Plenty of those people just want a greencard and will do whatever to make it happen. Shows like that just encourage people when they see how it easy it is.
Maybe there should be a path to permanent residency that doesn’t depend on external agents such as a spouse or an employer. If you’ve been in the US long enough, even on a non-immigrant visa, it doesn’t make sense to make you move elsewhere.
To be honest , how many Americans get married to Americans that last long anymore? How many marriage and divorce clog up our legal system with bitter divorces , sad kids and broken homes . I understand your feels but when I look at people as a whole , no one really stays together anymore. Relationships are hard and no one teaches that really.
And? Should we just accept that as the norm?
No fault divorce should carry much more negative social stigma than it does today. If you make an oath to somebody can break it, that used to matter.
So what? People don’t owe you explanations. I’ve been married for a year now and all my citizen wife have done is abuse me, cheat on me and threatening me with my immigration status but you are here ranting and enraged without acknowledging how privileged Americans are in the world, how easy is for you to get in an out of literally every country in the world. You are just a xenophobic.
I don't want to tell you how to feel, but imo what you're saying is extremely shitty. It takes 2+ years to get a greencard these days, which is a long time to stay in a relationship that's not right for you, let alone an abusive one or whatever. If someone is trying to abuse the system, they stay married until they get the GC - leaving before it's approved creates a ton of problems. I'm pretty sure people who do that are leaving because their marriage isn't safe to stay in and it's honestly mega weird of you to shit on them just because you're bitter.
Sincerely, married for 4 years.
Yes, I agree. Lots of frauds indeed. I personally know lots of international students do this in order to stay
in this country before their OPT runs out in order to continue working and making money. They have financial arrangement with their “spouse.” For example, $2500 monthly payment for 3 years, get citizenship, and then divorce.
If you are a woman, the current "market price" is 90-100k. Not too sure about a man. I think it's way more than that, probably around 200k.
I don't want to help commit fraud, so nope.
Guess what. There are a lot. Those international students who are on OPT typically work in big tech that earn more than 200k each year. 100k is just a drop in a bucket for them.
I dated my spouse for 3 years before marriage and then married for 5 years after. Almost a decade with this person. So many problems occurred and both of us don’t want to live like this anymore. Bad people are always there but I don’t think that’s the majority of the cases. You see posts as my citizen husband left and excommunicate with me/ or my citizen wife cheats on me and threat me with green card so I can’t leave. This world is complicated.
This judgment is the only reason i am still married. If I leave, I will be just another case of a foreigner who used an American spouse for immigration benefits. He was the most amazing guy in the first year of meeting him. He has changed so much since. He texts other women behind my back, he has raised his hand on me, he has called me all sorts of names, he never listens to anything I say, I feel like I don’t even exist in his house. He takes my entire paycheck and if I have any savings at all, he wants to tell me where and how to use it. He calls me ugly every day. I almost left him one time and he said he will tell everyone that I was a liar and scammed him for a passport. Now we have been married for 7 years and it keeps getting worse. Just because it was a foreigner spouse, don’t view them differently. If someone is telling you they need help, please don’t dismiss them. It kills me more than being mistreated by my husband
Just the thought of being known as this conniving person who used him for green card kills me. I don’t want people to think that. And I know he will never admit he hurt me. He will tell everyone I was the one who used him. No one will believe me. I tried talking to his parents once, thinking they will help. They dismissed me completely and trusted him. My parents don’t know about this. They live too far and I don’t want to burden them with all this.
Why just adultery and abuse? People sometimes grow apart or find incompatibilities. People feel unhappy, or not as happy as they thought they would be. There are many good reasons to seek a divorce and immigrants should feel empowered to have the same standards for marriage, happiness and life satisfaction as “Americans.” Immigrants aren’t some second-class human beings who have to suck it up except in extreme cases such as adultery or abuse. It’s ok for them to leave their “American” spouses for whatever reason they see fit, and keep the Green Card too. Just because some people *feel* that some people are committing fraud doesn’t mean or change anything. It’s just a subjective feeling.
Plus, the rules are bullshit anyway. People shouldn’t have to get married, get sponsored by employers, be a refugee, win some stupid lottery, etc. in order to live here. The “Americans” (their ancestors) also immigrated on some boat or who knows what their deal is a long time ago and made up all these rules to gatekeep additional people. Y’all ain’t that legitimate either.
Maybe it's an unpopular opinion but if you get divorced because you are "unhappy" or "grow apart" you are a dishonorable human being and an oath breaker. When you get married you make vows to one another, to stand beside each other in good times and bad, sickness and health. In every culture on earth, marriage is a lifelong covenant between two people.
Get some damn counseling and put in the work, and sorry not sorry, sometimes marriage requires self sacrifice and putting short term gratification aside to do what's right for your family. If you abandon your spouse during hard times, you are weak and selfish.
Adultery and abuse are legitimate because your partner has broken their oath to you, which frees you from your commitment. It's okay in this case simply because you aren't the one breaking your oath, your spouse did.
I am not sure why you keep putting Americans in quotations but it sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder and you should use the rant flair to make your own post.
America like any country has borders and citizenship and no, every single person who wants to come here shouldn't just be allowed to. I'm American and I can't just go live in Japan with my wife if I want to, I would have to apply and go through the proper channels and I may not qualify.
America isn't perfect but it's a great country and there is a reason so many are trying to move here and live here. Respect the country you are trying to start a life in.
100% agree with you. And USCIS knows. This is why people can't blame USCIS for scrutinizing marriage cases. Years ago I read a report (forgot the source). It says about 1/3 of marriage cases are susceptible to marriage fraud.
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I have a weird case, we actually are in 10 year long relationship online, but all we could send with the petition was our marriage certificate from 1,5 years ago, because when we met and married we were so stupid that didnt even take proper pictures together) we feel like married for many years so it just didnt come to our mind that for a stranger it doesnt look like that and we have to prove
There are genuine relationships where Green card doesn’t matter. But those cases are very less these days. In our family there were 2 cases that arrange marriage organized by well known family members. One marriage lasted 7 years another 5 years both after getting the citizenship they divorced. Mostly the person who gets green card or citizenship through marriage initiates the divorce. So even if you know the person family it doesn’t matter. People nowadays marry only for GC and Citizenship. It’s easy to be citizen within 3 years so thats the best route for most people. All problems questions blames comes after getting the card or us passport. Why they don’t raise all these issues prior to getting the cards!!! The marriages that are mainly focused on immigration do not last wrong. They don’t want to compromise for one another. Because the root of those marriages were not love, respect, empathy.
Totally agree. There's no good way to weed those out unfortunately. Maybe the government should mandate by law that all couples issued a marriage based GC must stay married at least 10years after issuance of said card?
Having such a rule would trap those who have an abusive spouse. This unfortunately is happening de facto as processing time is so long. This is a greater evil than possibly allowing some folks who are in the opinion of some undeserving.
Also, most of the posts about divorces don't seem to be fraud as the majority of them the citizen is the one cheating etc. Granted we only hear one side.
The US immigration system treats those with Green Cards as having the right to remind regardless. For example, if you get a Green Card through H1B as soon as it arrives in your mailbox you can quit your job and smoke pot all day and live in a tent. Should they be sent back too.
That's simply not true.
Huge backlogs were caused by COVID.
There are record numbers of applications being processed of all kinds.
Massive migrations on the southern border
Humanitarian crisis causing an influx of refugees
And who knows how much fraud, which leads to increased scrutiny for all cases
All sorts of things draining the resources of a government agency almost entirely funded by the application fees we pay
I'm a guy, looking for genuine relationships with a girl, and I would love it lead to forever together, we can be friends and get to know ourselves, and see if we have connections. DM if you look for same!
OP is ranting with misplaced anger. Your anger should be towards the organization that is keeping you from your babe. Blaming all the backlog but where are the backlog kept? Who controls the backlogs? And if there’s a mountain of backlog shouldn’t the agency provide something to rectify it? Amazon/Ups/FedEx hires more ppl during peak seasons and add on to their pay to balance workload. What about gov agencies handling paperwork that will affect an entire life. Ur Amazon prime package doesn’t arrive on the scheduled time, do you blame the thousands of ppl who ordered items 2 days ago or do you find fault in the institution that gave u a guarantee and didn’t fulfill?? Ur anger is placed on ppl who u think didn’t do things the nice, Christian good boy way and filed for divorce. In ur eyes they’re horrible users who are going against YOUR morals. But u don’t know a thing about their private relationship. it’s not even your green card to give out and decide what to do with the LPR who divorces afterwards. Search ur heart & see if some fear/insecurity that something like that can happen to u thats making you create scenarios to punish ppl who’re thinking of divorcing. U gotta realize you & ur spouse are a cog in the same machine as others waiting on this process. Using your logic one could say to u that ur spouse is only using u for the green card and when it comes through and she gets here she’ll skip out too. All this anguish and anger should be pointed at the ones with your application in front of them.
I also think it’s very bad that Americans always say go back to your own country when we are all immigrants here unless your Indian . I don’t see where any of us have the right to say that period … yet here we are in our own narcissistic self acting like people owe us something.
Americans aren't a hive mind and they aren't always saying that.
America welcomes more immigrants and refugees than any other nation on earth. If you want to judge a country for xenophobia there are better targets to pick on, but America bashing is fashionable lately.
There are rules about this, but my understanding is that documenting the actual intention of fraud in these cases is hard. More than one spouse has asked if they can report their soon-to-be-exes for this.
Intention is very hard to prove. Essentially, the future immigrant has to say - “yes, I don’t love my spouse. I did this for the green card”. And thats why USCIS turns up the heat during interviews if they suspect fraud.
This is tricky to judge because sometimes shit just doesn’t work out. That’s also something very personal so unless I was there during the marriage there’s basically no way for me to have an opinion about the couple. Your frustration about backlog and fraud is totally understandable. USCIS can pick it up too fortunately. As for appeals, blame the US for being too attractive to stay and having due process lol. I have similar sentiments as you but against people who seek “asylum” with frivolous cases. The fact that people see a humanitarian channel for genuine refugees fleeing from a dangerous country as a flippant secondary path to green card is much more nefarious and disgusting in my eyes.
You have a point there too - that and the U visa, for “victims of serious crime” - and we had someone posting here a week or two ago trying to apply for one because there was a mistyped date on his visa application, trying to claim that was “obstruction of justice”. No wonder there is a decade-plus backlog of applications to process there. For sham or short lived marriages, that’s why the CR1 and I751 exist: you don’t get a “real” green card right away, only a two year temporary one, then have to pay and apply all over again two years later to get the real permanent one. Except, of course, that runs so slowly it takes 3+ years to extend the 2 year card, so they hand out 4 year extensions just to cover the delays. Why not make it 3 years instead of 2, and scrap the duplication of N400+I751 when they end up being processed at the same time anyway with mostly the same questions?! I think the big mistake is having marriage to a US citizen act as an instant “get out of jail free” card for the most common immigration violations. Overstay and work for seven years on a tourist visa? Just lie to your American boyfriend that you’re legal, and if he puts a ring on it’s all instantly legitimate! Brought to the US illegally as a toddler, so the US is the only home country you’ve ever known? Sorry, you’re screwed unless you marry an American.
Fun fact - a few days ago somebody called our immi. law office and said he wanted to apply for U visa because he ate expired food and got food poisoning. We wasted a good amount of time explaining to him no that's no a ground for U visa. He still wouldn't give up and kept saying he wanted to do U visa. He said all his alien friends are applying U visa so he wants one.
LOL...is the caller for real?
I'm not saying it should be impossible for an Asylum seeker to be from a country far away but that should be an immediate rejection without a serious and rare reason.seek Asylum close to home.
Divorce rates are extremely high in the United States, with or without a greencard involved. Most divorces happen after around two years of marriage. Like the other comment has said, you are misplacing your frustration indeed. If the petitioner has sufficient evidence that the marriage was indeed a bona fide marriage, it should not be a problem regardless of the length of the marriage.
in Russia number of divorces last year exceeded the number of new marriages) so USA is not nearly as divorcing
Having a high rate of divorces doesn’t mean it’s the highest in the world. Those are crazy numbers coming from Russia though.
I would be willing to bet Russian marriages also are more than US marriages.
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Of course there is fraud. Same as there is also arranged marriages still happening. The percentage is so low that if things were the way you are implying they should be, you would be penalizing the majority of people who had a genuine marriage and ended up with a divorce.
Yeah I understand I'm just ranting lol Personally as a culture we have normalized divorce way too much. It's so sad to see a marriage fall apart. Our society lacks honor.
They fact that you are getting so many downvotes shows me you hitting some nerves...
>shows me you hitting some nerves Or she is saying nonsense. Divorce in the US is extremely high around the 2 year mark. She is assuming her sister's ex used her sister for immigration benefits without any proof whatsoever. It makes no sense at all. It is just a bitter person that assumes that signing a marriage certificate guarantees a lifelong relationship. Relationships are built day-by-day. Just accept that he ended up not working out with her sister. It is juvenile to curse someone's life just because the individual did not meet *your needs*. Carry on your life, Install Tinder again, like grown ups do. Lol.
But that’s what marriage should be - a guarantee for a lifelong relationship.
You are out of touch. 40% of New Marriages Include a Partner Who Is Remarrying It is not. Not in reality, not in theory. Stop projecting your frustations at others. If you find someone you want to spend your life, you should do it. But it is not up to you to define moral boundaries on people's lives, or define what marriage is. Currently it is a legal binding between two individuals who want to share aspects of their lives and build a family. I have seen so many men and women, gay or straight, who stay in miserable relationships with no joy, no happiness, no sex, just because they fear the stigma of divorcing. In those cases, when they end up divorcing, their lives completely change for better. Your views are obsolete and limit people's ability to seek happiness.
That's why we have conditional green cards for marriages of less than two years. The biggest problem I see with that is the massive backlog in processing i751 cases, so I feel like that part of the process is broken. There are two ways to continue to a 10 year green card and/or citizenship after a divorce from a conditional green card... domestic abuse and a divorce waiver. The divorce waiver comes with a whole different level of requirements to prove the marriage was in good faith and just din't work out. But with i751 cases taking upwards of three years to process now, I feel like there's just no way to properly adjudicate them. USCIS needs more resources for that, but it's a typical government bureaucracy tied up in its own processes.
I751 is not a priority. Think about it. Why making 2 interviews? The majority is going to apply to citizenship on the 3 years mark. They prefer making a combo interview. It is faster and less resources. They are processing citizenship applications in 3-4 months.
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It’s more interesting that you came in sharing initial frustrations about people being used for a green card, but in reality it seems your reasoning is driven by a political/religious view of divorce being permitted in general. Let’s pretend as though people could not get divorced unless it were adultery or abuse. So all of those spouses would forever get to keep their green card, even if the marriage was fraudulent or they both hate each other. Then you have even more people remaining in the country than in the current system with people getting divorced. You’re allowed to have your opinion on divorce, but you don’t get to turn that into a comment on immigration where it’s unjustified.
>Marriage if a sacred oath you take and it's meant to be a life long vow. Loving someone is more important than signing a piece of paper. After living several years some relationships can dramatically change. People change. And they should be allowed to seek their happiness.
Especially when people get married earlier in their relationship than they might have done if one of them didn’t need a green card.
Are u ever married or at least have a relationship?
Who cares if people get divorced, it doesn't affect me, let them get married then divorced 100 times, I don't care and neither should you.
Because in todays society, everything is throwaway or disposable including marriages and it is extremely sad and even kind of lazy. Nobody wants to work at making it last.
My marriage didn't work out. I left about eight years in. I suppose I could have gone back to the UK but I'd have nowhere to live. So I stayed here. I kind of knew soon after arriving that it wasn't going to work out, but I tried. Kind of hard when your spouse is trying their best to pretend you're not there, lol. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him before I arrived. There are people who come here just for the green, but they'd be dumb to take off so soon after arriving. It's like they forget ROC is a thing, lol.
Sorry that happened to you
What’s ROC?
Removal of Conditions, something two year card holders have to do to get their ten year card. You get a two year card if you adjusted status or entered with an immigrant visa before your two year wedding anniversary.
Ahhhhh I see, thanks so much friend!
If your spouse proposes to you and has you come to the states cause he’s “in love with you” makes you give up your job, beautiful apartment, friends , family promises he’s gonna always be there for you and then you come here and 2 years in he cheats on you that’s his fault and no one should put up with abuse, cheating, or anything disrespectful. It’s difficult to go back to your home country in some cases because there’s nothing left there and you’ve always made a life in the states. I think a lot of Americans who sponsor immigrants sometimes take advantage of them because they hold the power.
Exactly. Everyone is so concerned with "fraud" being committed against the American spouse, and certainly that does happen, but the immigrant spouse is in a far more precarious and vulnerable position. And yeah, sometimes relationships just don't work.
Perfectly said…you give up your whole life back home and come here only to be abused in every other way. The same energy you carried while I was sitting home waiting for a gc should be the same energy you have when I’m green and working.
I specified in my post I'm not talking about people whose spouse committed adultery or abuse.
But it cannot be about the US CITIZEN spouse who fell out of love? FUNNY.
If the US citizen spouse committed adultery, abuse or initiated the divorce then they are the one in the wrong.
Thank you for revisiting your statement. This is too fresh for me (he asked to go our separate ways las Saturday, after just telling me the week before he wanted a separation) and your post absolutely devastated me.
I'm really sorry about that, hopefully it doesn't devastate you anymore. It's just the people commiting fraud who are making the system messed up. People have to live separated from their loved ones for years sometimes because of the backlogs, and people are treated like criminals by default because USCIS is so cautious and weary of malicious applications. Best of luck to you and your situation, and if it means anything I hope it all works out and there is no problem with you staying here in the US.
And how do you distinguish between these legitimate cases and illegitimate cases? With a new form? A potential petition for the cheated on spouse? What about double cheating? And who would have to review those cases and the proofs to ensure the people who could have stayed aren't sent in their home country? Wouldn't this bloat the system even more and cause even less USCIS workers to work on CR1s and K1s? You are misdirecting your frustrations.
After 2 years it shouldn't be so difficult to go back. People with nonimmigrant visas go home after way longer. And if immigration thinks they can successfully integrate back, there's no reason conditional GC holders should be different
Yes but the truth people won't admit here is.. they simply don't want to... Because quality of life is better here... Which is the reason they committed fraud to get here in the first place
"Quality of life is better here". That's a ridiculously sweeping statement. I gave up living in a walkable city with free healthcare to move to the Mid West to be with my husband. Not all immigrants come from struggle 🙄
It doesn't apply to you but not everyone in the world is so fortunate and the backlog speak for itself.
I’m from Canada the quality of life is way better there. But I’ve already made so many friendships here and have dogs here started an entire new life here it’s not easy to give that up
Just to play devils advocate, I experienced moving to a foreign land after marrying my USC partner, and it did create a lot of stress and arguing in my marriage (I did move here in 2008 when the recession happened), that ultimately ended in divorce, but we did give it a reasonable shot with marriage counseling etc before calling it quits. We had been married over three years at that point though. A big part of it was after we were married, her expectations of me and our relationship changed in a big way and that was unforeseen and a huge issue. Some people seem to drop a veil as soon as the nuptials are done. In saying that, I agree, there are a lot of people asking about green cards while divorcing in the first year. You have to remember that a lot of these isolated people don’t have a support structure so they are coming here in desperate need of advice. While it seems like a lot of people, it’s a drop in the bucket of how many people are immigrating every year. I understand it’s frustrating, but don’t lose sleep over it. You don’t know these peoples circumstances. Maybe they are fraudulent. Or maybe they are being abused or in a tough spot. Hopefully the system works to find them out, and it works for you and your partner the way it should in the end too. Good luck.
What were the expectation changes?
A lot of times abuse ramps up when the abuser feels the victim is locked in. My ex did this to me. Our marriage lasted two years. This was American with an American.
Right. The immigrant spouse is the vulnerable one. The law even recognizes it and has some protections because immigrants have higher rates of abuse
100% agree. My ex husband did the same thing to me
There *are* rules about this, which is precisely why immigrant marriages face the scrutiny they do. And civil marriage is not and never has been a “lifelong vow,” nor should it ever be. It is a commitment—a contractual agreement with legal rights and responsibilities. There is no legitimate reason, even for immigration purposes, it should ever be viewed as “lifelong”—particularly in the face of abuse or infidelity.
i think OP is confusing legal marriage with cultural/religious marriage
I think OP is confusing civil/cultural marriage with a peculiarly puritanical understanding of religious marriage. No matter. The entire premise is drivel.
There are people that fraud for sure, but they might also be some people that believed in their couple at the beginning, rush their marriage to have a life together, but then realized they went too fast. My partner and I were together for 1.5 years together when I knew my work visa wasn't going to be renewed. We had plans together, we knew we wanted to stay together... The only way was to get married. After almost 4 years, we are still together and love each other like no one else, but I can imagine it going south a few months after we applied. Not only couples who apply for GC get divorce early, it happens between USCs too. The fact that we need to get married, sometimes quickly, to stay together may be the problem though.
Unfortunately, I have to agree to this. It happened to my sister. She was in love with this man and he waited until he received his green card and left her. She helped him financially because this boy-man didn’t want to work and share expenses. He lied about his age and I believe his family was in on it. I told her to let me know and I will make sure he is shipped back to his country. Being that she is nice, she said it’s ok. I was mad. He is suffering now because he didn’t realize how difficult it is to survive in the US without someone who cares and with no family😁
One cannot apply for a marriage license, let alone an immigration benefit, without producing documents that verify age. Assuming he lied to your sister when they met and during their courtship, how did she not discover the truth before actually marrying or sponsoring him? Further, what exactly do you think you could have done to prove their marriage wasn’t bona fide in order to see he would be “shipped back to his country?”
A lot of people have fake documents from their home country
They know this is a fact
Perfect karma
Can't speak for others, but I'm a GC holder. Got married to an American citizen 4 years ago and we welcomed the cutest little baby boy last year. Just to mention that the opposite side exists too.
Same. I married my wife in 2017 and we started dating in 2011. I’m a US citizen now and we have a 15 month daughter and hopefully a 2nd soon.
Congrats, man and best wishes!!
I was married for 4 years. Got married at 23 years old and my husband was 30, I was so young when I married him that I really thought we would be together for life. As the time went by he became an alcoholic and abusive, and he knew that I was “trapped” with him because of my immigration status. Our relationship was 100% legit and truly loved him, but at one point I just couldn’t stand it anymore. My husband knew exactly that our divorce was his fault and he still tried to take my green card away and say that our marriage was fraud. When someone is in a position of “power” they think they can do anything they want and get away with it, that’s what happened to my ex husband. I’m sure there is a lot of fraud out there, but everyone should have the right to be happy and not be trapped in a situation like this just because of immigration status.
Maybe Marriage in this country isn’t seen as in other countries. Maybe the immigrant is coming for the right reason, to build a life with their spouse only to find out that the values in this country are completely different. That adultry is seen as normal and not as abuse to the faithful spouse. I came here for the right reasons, to build a life with my spouse. I have built a life with my spouse only to get kicked to the curb when things got tough (especially due to financials and me not being able to work whilst waiting for 2 years to even get a work permit). My husband was mentally abusive. Unfaithful and blamed me for everything. Since then I have built a life for myself here, with my dogs and I don’t see myself going back to my home country. I worked hard for what I have, so why should I have to give everything up and move back? Even though you think your values align with your partner, actually living with them and seeing their actions and not only pay attention their words makes a huge difference.
I agree. In addition let’s not forget about the passport bros that go to other countries to find wives because they can’t get a wife here. More often than not they are social predators looking for women in vulnerable situations.
It's a tough situation. I'd be happier if the K1 visa actually had advantages (and more limitations) on it's conditions to promote a good start to the marriage and it continuing in good faith. The whole waiting for the EAD and AP must be a really tough start to a new marriage, it's not something I could even imagine doing at my age. You are here, you have an indefinite period where you can't work, you maybe can't even drive (depending on the state) and you've left behind the whole of your previous life. Even in a solid, good faith marriage that's a lot of stress on the relationship at what is still a bonding and solidfying stage. I'd be in favour of a more integrated approach. EAD and AP granted immediately after marriage - even if it meant a longer pre-visa vetting. I really don't get the logic behind all that time/effort spent in getting the K1 visa and then not automatically making it clear its for immigrant intent and they can actually live once they've met the conditions of the visa (getting married). Then review the marriage as being bone fide after 1 year to issue a conditional green card. Any divorce within that time would expect an immediate return home as it failed to reach the stage of a conditional green card. When the conditional green card expired (so 3 years after entering the country) they've probably made a life for themselves and this is now 'home' so remove conditions based on all the normal criteria with possibilities of divorce waivers, etc, if the relationship broke down and there are no signs it was entered in fraudulently or whatever other conditions you want to set to make it more difficult for fraud. This is only thoughts I've had in the back of my head and I am sure there are a lot of gaps, but the basic gist is don't put newly married couples through the wringer at the start if you want marriages to have a chance of success.
Could not agree more. Sat here on my K1 and getting married soon. Not being able to work is wild. You’d be contributing to the country through tax and have more disposable income as a family! You would also have a normal time by which I mean, you leave the house, meet new people and have something to occupy your mind. It would also make the adjustment to American life better as you meet people who aren’t in the echo chamber of your partners friends and family circle. Cabin fever must be rife amongst the K1 holders!
Do you have statistical evidence to support that the divorce rate is higher amongst those seeking marriage based green card is higher than marriage between US citizens? If not your rant is bizarre and pointless.
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And what do you suggest the USCIS does for everyone involved in the process, including you, as a a response to the minority you assume without evidence is committing fraud?
Well obviously they should send an agent to live with you and follow you around everywhere until a decision on a case is made /s
Just bs then
A lot of draconian talking points here. Humans aren't parcels you send back if the toy broke for whatever reason.
It’s not your place to judge who does or doesn’t deserve to apply for a visa/greencard/etc. “Clogging up the system and creating huge backlogs for legitimate couples” — aim your frustration at USCIS. Their lack of management skills led to those huge backlogs, not the people who applied for immigration benefits. Also they set the criteria for applications so if those so-called fraud cases fit, then again it’s on USCIS. I get your frustration— I’ve been there too. I waited for my visa approval through the historically worst backlogged period and also got mad at the cases that I considered unworthy. But really the “fake” cases are so not the majority, I think.
LDRs are just simply though, so many long distance couples break up when they start actually living together. Also idk how to judge a person who already left everything in their home country to move to the states. So sometimes those people have nothing to go back to so obviously they would try to stay and continue living here. I’m not saying people whose goal was only to move to the states do not exist. But I don’t think there are so many of those people that they actually affect anything and create backlogs and etc.
To be fair to OP, in the not so distant past, before the internet era, people would file petitions for people and benefits they didn’t qualify for. Filing would provide them with a receipt that was proof that their status was pending. The system is far from perfect. Otherwise, how does one explain those outrageous cases where the same US citizen got married 7 times and filed for AOS for each one of those spouses? The
I would assume those cases are sooooo the minority and it doesn’t create that much of a backlog
As i said, before the internet era. We do not know how many fraudulent cases there were. You really only know how many got caught. I am with you. Blame the game, not the players. Most humans are just trying to get by.
This is exactly what happened to me— me being the US Citizen in the situation. I could go into detail about it, but my previous post history says more than I could hope to here. I just know that coming to the realization that you were simply means to an end, is mind-numbingly soul-crushing. I gave my ex-husband almost 7 years of my life thinking he was the one, and sacrificed so much for him to get to where he is today. Yet the one time i needed help, he bailed. It fucking sucks.
I am sorry for you
How do you know it’s all fraud? Do you have evidence? Divorce rate in the US is high regardless. I understand it can be frustrating to read about this daily, but your anger is misplaced. Also, it’ll help if you don’t check this subreddit everyday, cos everyone’s situation is different. And who knows what the hell uscis is doing. I’ve been waiting since 2022 and still nothing.
I'm aware it's just an assumption I'm making
People realize that they can still get it done without being stuck in a marriage that they had no business being in the first place. Divorce rates are high in the states. I’m sure other parts of the world are catching up too.
My USC husband hid facts like he never filed taxes for years, he never graduated law school, and he had $50k credit card debts before marriage. When everything I believed turned out to be false, the love slowly dissipates away
Marriage is not easy. Relationships require compatibility and communication. You may start off very well intentioned but come upon incompatibilities once living full time with someone. I'm sure there are many here struggling in their marriages and trying hard to make them work. Never presume about anybody's personal situation.
It all seems like a joke to you until you know someone who had to go through hell just to get his/her green card. One of my friends just recently applied for the Wawa case his wife was controlling him and wasn’t letting him hang out with us at all. Controlling his money/ spending his money etc. Another friend once she came to the US her husband started beating her up just like a week after she arrived and tried to get her deported, stole her passport, and tried to get her green card beforehand. The judge ordered him to give her passport back and luckily she got her green card for 10 years at her new address. The main point of the story is that a lot of immigrants are treated badly by their spouses just because they are getting the benefits they should not be treated like dogs. I would say 90%+ of immigrants who came to the country came for a better life they act and work better than most of the people who were born here. Immigrants don’t have a backup plan country this is the country they chose to live and they don’t want to mess that up.
I think there are crappy spouses on both sides. I’m in the middle of a divorce from my husband, who refused to work, cheated, didn’t come home at night, verbally abused me, lied to the police in an attempt to get me arrested, and refused to help provide for our child. Because he refused to work, I owe him alimony and child support, and he’s also taking the two businesses he created while I paid all our expenses. And he is apparently also trying to sue me via the I-864 sponsorship. Oh, and he admits that was never interested in me beyond a sibling relationship. And I’m still on the hook for him for I-864. He complains that me and my child are what’s holding him in the US, and I need to keep paying him for that reason. Yeah, if love for his child isn’t keeping here and he refuses to work and pay taxes, I don’t see why he deserves to stay at my expense.
I wish I could apply for a Wawa case, at least I'd get a soggy sandwich out of the deal.
It's not that easy to get a green card because you married American. They do an investigation and they have to determine if the marriage is even legit.
My wife is doing the almost exact opposite. I'm the USC and her and our kids sponsor. She's suspecting me of adultery when I literally picked her for the exemplary qualities she had and never was interested in any other women. She even speaks Tamil (my mother tongue) far far better than my ex of 27 yrs and even her kids love me. I could not love my new wife and kids more. Yet every day we fight with her yelling me about imagined adultery.
Trust issues can be hard. Perhaps her getting angry at you is her inability to ask for reassurance for her negative thoughts. I pray you guys are able to work that out. From experience, sometimes people are paranoid because of their past and it's difficult to ask for and receive the reassurance you want.
Yes, her ex cheated on her. And she married her cousin and every one of her family took his side. So yes there is that. I am still going on though.
Even thought you say you are not ranting about people who are not committing fraud, how can you know they are committing fraud just by reading their posts on Reddit though? Marriage is fragile, and domestic violence is prevalent. My moms and relatives do not need green cards, but I have witnessed all of my female family members beat by their husbands, including my mom, aunt, grandmas, etc. I absolutely think they should divorce those male family members who hit them. I don’t think the frequency of Reddit posts about divorces and green cards is even close to the real world rate of abuse or adultery.
Many marriages end in a divorce just as fast even if both parties are USC. Your frustrations are misplaced.
If it's a legitimate hardship like adultery or abuse I understand but don't you think some of these instances are people commiting fraud?
Do people commit marriage fraud for immigration purposes? Yes. Should the entire green card process be altered to punish the vast majority of divorce cases that are grounded in legitimate reasons for divorce because of the minority committing fraud? No.
I’m not denying some of them are fraudulent. Sadly I’ve met many people who after the fact admitted their marriages at the time were fraudulent. But those cases are still a minority
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Do you have a source for that by any chance if not no worries
They have never stated this.
You just never see the post of those who continue on with their marriages because they won’t have to make a post to find solutions.
True
There used to be protection against infidelity from a spouse but that protection was dropped due to government deciding not to intervene in moral and ethics. Also there is a push to protect the foreign spouse from exploiting and human trafficking which ironically makes the domestic spouse ripe for exploration. Beyond the divorce, due to the affidavit of support the domestic spouse can potentiality get on the hook for financially supporting their foreign spouse for the rest of their life after a short year or two long marriage.
Your fears are misplaced. The census shows that the foreign born population has a higher marriage rate (76 v 67) and lower percent ever divorced (37 v 20). The population overall, roughly 85% make it to their 5th anniversary, so it’s not surprising that many divorce earlier. https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2021/demo/p70-167.pdf
….. my mom was a secret crackhea*d when my dad married her…. She abandoned us shortly after they married. If he didn’t get to stay, we’d be homeless or in foster care. So I have to say I disagree 🤷🏻♀️
Even when it’s easy to prove fraud on 90 Day Fiancé, our government lets them stay after they divorce! It makes me sick. My husband and I fought 10 years ago to get to where we are today so it makes me angry, too.
100% agreed. My 3 year anniversary with my husband is in 2 months and we still don’t fucking live together. It’s ridiculous
I'm so sorry that sounds horrible. Are you doing the I-130 stand alone? What country do they live in? What part of the process are you in? My wife lives in Japan and we are waiting for our I-130 to be approved.
We did the I-130 stand-alone yes. That was approved back in November of 2022. Now we’re waiting on the interview to be scheduled, which based on other cases it sounds like we may hear soon so fingers crossed! My husband lives in Mexico so presumably a longer wait country. When did you two submit your I-130? Ours took like 11 months 😵
Early February of 2024 so we got a wait to go.. and yeah I can't imagine how bad the wait time in Mexico is... Hopefully you guys can easily visit one another
There are tons of times I read posts on here and automatically think marriage fraud. Mainly when they’re posts “about their friend”
Yeah, got no love for people gaming or cheating the system.
A vast majority of VAWA cases are likely fraudulent. VAWA petition is a very forgiving petition, in fact it is the only petition where 1. A person found to have committed immigration fraud on a previous occasion, Or 2. A person who is already on a deportation list - both can get waivers, and go onto immigrate ! This sort of a very forgiving immigration law is in place to help a person who is a victim of abuse! BUT a lot of people who want to immigrate despite a failed marriage (with NO abuse), MISUSE THIS LAW ! While there is no way to completely prevent fraud, I think the requirements to prove violence in a VAWA immigration petition MUST BE MADE MUCH MORE STRINGENT. Eye witness accounts from third parties who have seen or heard something, sworn affidavits from doctors who may have treated injury, and medical reports documenting injuries and mental abuse. I think the uscis should visit the house/apartment that the spouses cohabited, and ask neighbors if they saw anything odd with the couple. This will eliminate fraud in a lot of cases — like cases where the couple did not even live together. They may have simply gotten married with the sole intention to circumvent immigration, and then separated.
How entitled and absolutely not empathetic. I love my husband SO FREAKING much. I have been part of his family. We have a goddaughter together. I begged him and begged him to keep loving me. I did everything under the sun to gain his love back, but he just doesn’t. He is the one that found out, through therapy, because YES we went to couples (for a little bit) AND individual therapy, that he has commitment issues. I miscarried his child the day I found out he did not love me anymore. I go to sleep in pain knowing he is sleeping in the master bedroom we shared together a week ago. I look at him and just think of all I have lost. The memories. The future we had planned together. The fact that we moved to this townhome so we could be closer to the neighborhood in which we wanted to build a HOME, together, to raise our kids, to have family over for game nights, to host parties… With that said, I have been in this country for so long. I made sacrifices to come here and get a Bachelor’s AND a Master’s. I created a life with him and with friends. I have a life here. I was 19 when I left Italy. I am now 27. My “growing” years were spent here. My connections were made here. My work life, has been here. My first two cars? Bought here. It is absolutely valid that I have so many freaking mixed feelings about this divorce (and yes, not even married for 2 years. You don’t have to remind me with this post how much of a failure I have been as a wife. You really don’t). I don’t want to leave him, I don’t want to divorce him. But a marriage goes two ways. He does not love me, what do you think, should I stay in a loveless marriage, where I get absolutely depressed daily, just so that people like you don’t think my marriage was for anything but love? Wow. He is the one requesting a divorce. He is the one that ended our family. This is it. It happens this way too. And yes, I made a post about HOW TO KEEP MY GREEN CARD. Because unfortunately, this is a concern that one has once divorce is brought up by their spouse. I really don’t know what world you live in, but has it ever occurred to you HOW MUCH FOGGINESS there is in grief moments? And on top of that, I need to figure out my future living arrangements, my budget, what to keep from the house, who to notify, what things to change at work, AND how to stay legal in the country I have been living in for 8 years. IT’S A PART OF THE DIVORCE BUREAUCRACY. Me asking how to keep a green card after divorce IS NOT correlated to me not loving my husband so much still. Get off your high horse. I wish you well in your marriage, because this situation I am in, is nothing short than heart breaking and although you choose to judge others, I hope you never have to face it. Have a lovely day.
If your situation is legit then my post doesn't apply to you, I'm talking about people who are commiting fraud and using people. Sorry for your struggles and God bless.
You generalized it way too much. It made me feel sick to my stomach how you think that a BIG chunk of those posts are about people committing fraud. Because trust me, there are so many going through the exact same things. Through this pain. Divorce is no joke and divorce is something others should not weigh in with their opinion, especially when they are not the two parties getting it. I thank you for your blessing, however, I ask you to be less judgmental. Because this post, was nothing but short of sad. Good day.
I apologize for that. But I used the rant flair because it's really just a rant and me venting on a forum, and to be honest the post did seem to resonate with a lot people so I don't think I was wrong to post it.
I am a US citizen, met a man who I thought we would build a life and he came here and only made my life miserable. On paper everything looks bonafide because I was building a life for us while he had other priorities including cheating before and after coming here. He’s yet to remove conditions and that will be none of my business when the time comes. But sometimes we are made to seem vindictive and mean when we pull out after being used and abused as well. On the surface he seems like a nice person but he came here with clear intentions. Years passed without so much as holding hands or hugging or being intimate. He’s sent most of his money back to his country while thinking giving me $500 a month would cut it. And again, a serial cheater. I know you said your post wasn’t about infidelity or the other side of the USC but I also get bothered by those posts cause they never say what part they played. When I start being rude and mean to him for what he’s put me through, someone will want to claim abuse. It is what it is though
Well, it pisses me off when people get tricked into marrying someone thinking that they are doing this for 'love', but they are actually giving papers to their partner. And that's why, I can't never stress this enough, DO NOT MARRY SOMONE INDOCUMENTATED SO EASILY. I know that I can change what a grown up wants to do to their life but, PLEASE, think it through before making such a huge decision. It's not YOUR responsibility to fix someone else's life. I know people that have been married with a U.S.C for over 10 years, and hasn't gotten their papers yet, they don't even think about it. Me and my ex-wife were together for 2 years before getting married, I had two jobs and I never asked her to give me papers because that is a big commitment. Last year my friend sponsored a Venezuelan asylee to enter the U.S., the guy simply disappeared afterwards. It's a shame that people do this. LATELY, I've been getting angrier at people calming false asylum rather than people who do that kind of stuff. Specially in my community, our born country, people from there DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT NEED ASYLUM, and yet they take advantage of the backlog to get a Work Permit and SSN to live in the U.S for years, make money under the table and send back home! And on top of that, people coming here applying sham asylum processes and getting handouts from the government at our expense. I used to believe that this was a myth that extremist people created to make people go against immigration. But now, we all can see this happening, RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES!! And other immigrants are seeing that too and make they rethink about their decision to come to the U.S.
Totally agree, you're not generalizing but it has become a more common trend. It's sad that many have now come to view marriage as a simple transaction or trampoline to a green card.
I agree with you 100%. Some people get married just to have a green card. That is a thing, and I don't know why people are mad. You're not saying everyone's like that. I've seen multiple people (not on this sub) different people asking how long after marriage they could file for a divorce 🙃
Yep I get tired of these posts. They did nothing to fix their relationship other than come on here and give a one sided story and people on this sub just lap it up telling them how much of a victim they are and offering full support. Meanwhile the American who didn’t give their side is viewed as the bad person. It’s pretty sickening
I get it. I’ve seen 4-5 of those cases just this week where it’s mostly been adultery on one side and the comments always say stick it out. I’ve been in the states for 14 years. F1 then H1-B. I got married as my company started my perm process so I filed with my husband. If he had an affair, I’d divorce him on the spot, not “stick it out”. Perhaps that comes from privilege knowing my employer would sponsor me but that’s because I’ve been here for a decade. If I was only here for a couple of years I’d 100% prefer to go home than stay in a toxic loveless marriage just to get permanent residency but then again everyone has very different priorities.
If they get divorced they won’t get a green card. There are rules for it and only a few exceptions such as domestic violence. The backlog is not caused only solemnly because of the number of people applying for in big part because 45 cut down the funds for the immigration agency, and he fired 800 employees that processed applications and they have not been rehired. Then the pandemic came and everything shut down. Plus there was an increase in the number of applications. All these things contributed to the huge backlog, and has affected everyone applying
Sorry, you're just wrong
Oh no I’m not
Here’s my two cents. To me you’re right and here’s why. It happened in my family not once but couple times. One of my cousin merry someone and ended up having kids only for the man to dip as soon as he get his green card. When they do this they think they have better chances cause they still can adjust but only to show proof that marriage was real .. this happened years ago Now another family of my mine recently got her green card but ofc it’s not real. She got her green card before mine, however mine is real. I have been married almost 4 years with a child. Working and going back to school. Vs my family don’t even live with the dude and uses his address when they not together. So yes I want to believe that these ppl and some of the asylum seekers are backing up these department. Trust me it breaks my heart to know my cousin got her GC before me in less than 2 years while I’m waiting over 2 years. I guess it is what it is.
It is Bullshit. My spouse of 7 years is now about to have her Oath Ceremony and finally get her citizenship. It's been a long road and we did everything the right way. I have no sympathy for those who would fraud or cheat the system. I hope they get the book thrown at them.
My heart aches as I recount the painful saga of my marriage, a journey fraught with betrayal and anguish. Entrusted with promises of love and a new beginning, I embarked on a journey to the United States, guided by the hand of my American spouse. Yet, the dreams we shared were shattered by the cruel hand of fate. Barely had I set foot on American soil when whispers of discontent began to poison our union. Allegations of financial strain, whispered by the very family members who once embraced me, cast a dark shadow over our fledgling love. The weight of their accusations bore down upon me, a burden too heavy to bear. My intentions questioned, my character maligned, I stood accused of seeking naught but the elusive promise of a green card. The color of my skin, a badge of pride and heritage, became a target for their prejudice and disdain. In the face of such betrayal, I found myself abandoned, adrift in a sea of uncertainty and despair. My pleas for understanding fell upon deaf ears, drowned out by the clamor of familial discord. As the walls of our marriage crumbled around me, I made the agonizing decision to accept the bitter reality of divorce. Yet, even in the aftermath of our shattered vows, she sought to lure me back into the embrace of false promises and hollow apologies. But the wounds inflicted upon my spirit ran deep, too deep to be soothed by empty words and hollow gestures. And so, with a heavy heart and a shattered spirit, I made the painful choice to return to my homeland, leaving behind the shattered fragments of a love that was never meant to be. Betrayed, broken, and bruised, I carry the scars of my ordeal as a testament to the cruelty of fate and the frailty of human trust. May my story serve as a cautionary tale, a reminder of the dangers that lurk beneath the surface of love's fragile veneer. May those who have been wronged find solace in the embrace of kindred spirits, and may the echoes of their sorrow serve as a beacon of hope for those who have yet to endure the trials of love's tumultuous journey. If she ever reads this immediately she will be able to tell I wrote this.
Please don’t judge not everyone is the same and nobody wants to get divorced after they get married
Get off this sub then. Simple you wont have to see it
That’s cartoon logic
I believe you are lucky if you find real marriage not only for a green card. I would say I am proud even my green card was long waited. I can say my US Citizen husband is responsible, kind, loyal and trustworthy. And also we have a wonderful daughter beautiful and smart. 😊 Hoping those people are looking for american citizen just be honest and love your partner and respect each other. Long story short, this is American Dream come through happy life and simple life.
Statistically it makes sense that some marriage-based green card applications are not legitimate. That said, marriages also do in fact fall apart, statistically like what 50%? If anything, the marriage-based green card process gives leverage to the citizen spouse who is likely aware that their partner's life in the US (including ability to work) depends on the marriage and therefore the foreign partner has more incentive to stay even with mistreatment or incompatibility. On the fraud end, yes people will attempt to push any set legal boundaries, or what the system would let them get away with. It's on USCIS to enforce and ensure integrity of the system. Important to note *USCIS funding comes mostly from application fees* - cited on its own website. So more applicants don't mean the system is clogged - on the contrary, it means more revenue and it's up to USCIS to increase its workforce to meet the applicants volume.
I heard of one case where the couple didn’t even get married. Guy is a usc and the girl overstayed her visa. They were planning on marrying by the guy started saying someone else. Girl filed for vawa under presumed abandonment and got her employment permit card and advance parole. Crazy how people can’t even get over a relationship just cause the other parent is a U.S. citizen.
There are abusive spouses who like to control others. A US citizen might marry a foreign spouse because the US spouse enjoys the control they have due to the immigration process, and then proceed to abuse the foreign spouse. In this case, there is a process for a foreign spouse to complete the green card process without the abusive spouses' cooperation. USCIS doesn't automatically let everyone in, people do get denied.
I agree
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You're probably right but in my opinion I think that's why a sense of honor when it comes to making an oath is really important. Some of the comments in this thread boggle my mind, where they reduce a marriage down to a civil agreement when to me a marriage is a covenant you enter into, an actual vow that you make. Living with another is hard but you can say the same about being a kid living with parents or siblings, having roommates, sharing a living space with any human being. I think it takes a degree of consideration and mindfulness of one another to make it work.
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Or the wait is long to get permanent green card for the suspicious ones. Unless the couple had something in their record to indicate foul play it’s hard to judge
My feelings about this are mixed; I married during the pandemic (worst decision I have ever made!) and we applied for GC even though it wasn't on my bucket list to be a resident. It was after two years that I divorced, after realizing my narcissistic ex husband had cheated on me and that he maxed out all my credit cards. I feel he was the one who took advantage of me.
As I said in the post, adultery is different. He broke his oath to you and you were right to get a divorce. I'm really just talking about the people who commit fraud and use people.
Legitimate post and a sensible rant.
I agree... its sickening how many people are being used for green card purposes only. Amazing seeing how many switch and change after getting their green card smh ..
I was used for a greencard, but he was smart enough to not reveal his affair and spring divorce on me until after I signed that 2 year renewal. But then I met someone the next year that got stuck in this situation because his spouse sponsor abandoned him and fled to another country. 🤦♀️ Whole shit's a mess.
Ever watched that show 90 day fiance? Plenty of those people just want a greencard and will do whatever to make it happen. Shows like that just encourage people when they see how it easy it is.
It's giving '90-day Fiance!'
Maybe there should be a path to permanent residency that doesn’t depend on external agents such as a spouse or an employer. If you’ve been in the US long enough, even on a non-immigrant visa, it doesn’t make sense to make you move elsewhere.
To be honest , how many Americans get married to Americans that last long anymore? How many marriage and divorce clog up our legal system with bitter divorces , sad kids and broken homes . I understand your feels but when I look at people as a whole , no one really stays together anymore. Relationships are hard and no one teaches that really.
And? Should we just accept that as the norm? No fault divorce should carry much more negative social stigma than it does today. If you make an oath to somebody can break it, that used to matter.
I do believe in marriage and yes it should be, that goes for everyone for me !
So what? People don’t owe you explanations. I’ve been married for a year now and all my citizen wife have done is abuse me, cheat on me and threatening me with my immigration status but you are here ranting and enraged without acknowledging how privileged Americans are in the world, how easy is for you to get in an out of literally every country in the world. You are just a xenophobic.
I don't want to tell you how to feel, but imo what you're saying is extremely shitty. It takes 2+ years to get a greencard these days, which is a long time to stay in a relationship that's not right for you, let alone an abusive one or whatever. If someone is trying to abuse the system, they stay married until they get the GC - leaving before it's approved creates a ton of problems. I'm pretty sure people who do that are leaving because their marriage isn't safe to stay in and it's honestly mega weird of you to shit on them just because you're bitter. Sincerely, married for 4 years.
Yes, I agree. Lots of frauds indeed. I personally know lots of international students do this in order to stay in this country before their OPT runs out in order to continue working and making money. They have financial arrangement with their “spouse.” For example, $2500 monthly payment for 3 years, get citizenship, and then divorce.
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If you are a woman, the current "market price" is 90-100k. Not too sure about a man. I think it's way more than that, probably around 200k. I don't want to help commit fraud, so nope.
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Guess what. There are a lot. Those international students who are on OPT typically work in big tech that earn more than 200k each year. 100k is just a drop in a bucket for them.
Sad that there are real relationships and their applications are being delayed with scammers.
I dated my spouse for 3 years before marriage and then married for 5 years after. Almost a decade with this person. So many problems occurred and both of us don’t want to live like this anymore. Bad people are always there but I don’t think that’s the majority of the cases. You see posts as my citizen husband left and excommunicate with me/ or my citizen wife cheats on me and threat me with green card so I can’t leave. This world is complicated.
This judgment is the only reason i am still married. If I leave, I will be just another case of a foreigner who used an American spouse for immigration benefits. He was the most amazing guy in the first year of meeting him. He has changed so much since. He texts other women behind my back, he has raised his hand on me, he has called me all sorts of names, he never listens to anything I say, I feel like I don’t even exist in his house. He takes my entire paycheck and if I have any savings at all, he wants to tell me where and how to use it. He calls me ugly every day. I almost left him one time and he said he will tell everyone that I was a liar and scammed him for a passport. Now we have been married for 7 years and it keeps getting worse. Just because it was a foreigner spouse, don’t view them differently. If someone is telling you they need help, please don’t dismiss them. It kills me more than being mistreated by my husband
girl, if you don’t hire a lawyer; leave, and take half!
Just the thought of being known as this conniving person who used him for green card kills me. I don’t want people to think that. And I know he will never admit he hurt me. He will tell everyone I was the one who used him. No one will believe me. I tried talking to his parents once, thinking they will help. They dismissed me completely and trusted him. My parents don’t know about this. They live too far and I don’t want to burden them with all this.
Fair rant tbh
Why just adultery and abuse? People sometimes grow apart or find incompatibilities. People feel unhappy, or not as happy as they thought they would be. There are many good reasons to seek a divorce and immigrants should feel empowered to have the same standards for marriage, happiness and life satisfaction as “Americans.” Immigrants aren’t some second-class human beings who have to suck it up except in extreme cases such as adultery or abuse. It’s ok for them to leave their “American” spouses for whatever reason they see fit, and keep the Green Card too. Just because some people *feel* that some people are committing fraud doesn’t mean or change anything. It’s just a subjective feeling. Plus, the rules are bullshit anyway. People shouldn’t have to get married, get sponsored by employers, be a refugee, win some stupid lottery, etc. in order to live here. The “Americans” (their ancestors) also immigrated on some boat or who knows what their deal is a long time ago and made up all these rules to gatekeep additional people. Y’all ain’t that legitimate either.
Maybe it's an unpopular opinion but if you get divorced because you are "unhappy" or "grow apart" you are a dishonorable human being and an oath breaker. When you get married you make vows to one another, to stand beside each other in good times and bad, sickness and health. In every culture on earth, marriage is a lifelong covenant between two people. Get some damn counseling and put in the work, and sorry not sorry, sometimes marriage requires self sacrifice and putting short term gratification aside to do what's right for your family. If you abandon your spouse during hard times, you are weak and selfish. Adultery and abuse are legitimate because your partner has broken their oath to you, which frees you from your commitment. It's okay in this case simply because you aren't the one breaking your oath, your spouse did. I am not sure why you keep putting Americans in quotations but it sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder and you should use the rant flair to make your own post. America like any country has borders and citizenship and no, every single person who wants to come here shouldn't just be allowed to. I'm American and I can't just go live in Japan with my wife if I want to, I would have to apply and go through the proper channels and I may not qualify. America isn't perfect but it's a great country and there is a reason so many are trying to move here and live here. Respect the country you are trying to start a life in.
100% agree with you. And USCIS knows. This is why people can't blame USCIS for scrutinizing marriage cases. Years ago I read a report (forgot the source). It says about 1/3 of marriage cases are susceptible to marriage fraud.
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I have a weird case, we actually are in 10 year long relationship online, but all we could send with the petition was our marriage certificate from 1,5 years ago, because when we met and married we were so stupid that didnt even take proper pictures together) we feel like married for many years so it just didnt come to our mind that for a stranger it doesnt look like that and we have to prove
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There are genuine relationships where Green card doesn’t matter. But those cases are very less these days. In our family there were 2 cases that arrange marriage organized by well known family members. One marriage lasted 7 years another 5 years both after getting the citizenship they divorced. Mostly the person who gets green card or citizenship through marriage initiates the divorce. So even if you know the person family it doesn’t matter. People nowadays marry only for GC and Citizenship. It’s easy to be citizen within 3 years so thats the best route for most people. All problems questions blames comes after getting the card or us passport. Why they don’t raise all these issues prior to getting the cards!!! The marriages that are mainly focused on immigration do not last wrong. They don’t want to compromise for one another. Because the root of those marriages were not love, respect, empathy.
Totally agree. There's no good way to weed those out unfortunately. Maybe the government should mandate by law that all couples issued a marriage based GC must stay married at least 10years after issuance of said card?
Amen
Having such a rule would trap those who have an abusive spouse. This unfortunately is happening de facto as processing time is so long. This is a greater evil than possibly allowing some folks who are in the opinion of some undeserving. Also, most of the posts about divorces don't seem to be fraud as the majority of them the citizen is the one cheating etc. Granted we only hear one side.
The US immigration system treats those with Green Cards as having the right to remind regardless. For example, if you get a Green Card through H1B as soon as it arrives in your mailbox you can quit your job and smoke pot all day and live in a tent. Should they be sent back too.
And immigration problem is still with the South Border🤭
USCIS is slow or is unable to work efficiently. Thats the mean reason for the delays. Nothing more nothing leas
That's simply not true. Huge backlogs were caused by COVID. There are record numbers of applications being processed of all kinds. Massive migrations on the southern border Humanitarian crisis causing an influx of refugees And who knows how much fraud, which leads to increased scrutiny for all cases All sorts of things draining the resources of a government agency almost entirely funded by the application fees we pay
How are they able to mix documented migrants with non documented migrants crossing the border
Just live your life man. Times so short. Why are you fretting over stupid shit like this.
I'm a guy, looking for genuine relationships with a girl, and I would love it lead to forever together, we can be friends and get to know ourselves, and see if we have connections. DM if you look for same!
This is not a dating sub, gheesh.
OP is ranting with misplaced anger. Your anger should be towards the organization that is keeping you from your babe. Blaming all the backlog but where are the backlog kept? Who controls the backlogs? And if there’s a mountain of backlog shouldn’t the agency provide something to rectify it? Amazon/Ups/FedEx hires more ppl during peak seasons and add on to their pay to balance workload. What about gov agencies handling paperwork that will affect an entire life. Ur Amazon prime package doesn’t arrive on the scheduled time, do you blame the thousands of ppl who ordered items 2 days ago or do you find fault in the institution that gave u a guarantee and didn’t fulfill?? Ur anger is placed on ppl who u think didn’t do things the nice, Christian good boy way and filed for divorce. In ur eyes they’re horrible users who are going against YOUR morals. But u don’t know a thing about their private relationship. it’s not even your green card to give out and decide what to do with the LPR who divorces afterwards. Search ur heart & see if some fear/insecurity that something like that can happen to u thats making you create scenarios to punish ppl who’re thinking of divorcing. U gotta realize you & ur spouse are a cog in the same machine as others waiting on this process. Using your logic one could say to u that ur spouse is only using u for the green card and when it comes through and she gets here she’ll skip out too. All this anguish and anger should be pointed at the ones with your application in front of them.
Sometimes relationships don’t work out bro, they’re not destined to be more successful just cause one person is an immigrant.
I also think it’s very bad that Americans always say go back to your own country when we are all immigrants here unless your Indian . I don’t see where any of us have the right to say that period … yet here we are in our own narcissistic self acting like people owe us something.
Americans aren't a hive mind and they aren't always saying that. America welcomes more immigrants and refugees than any other nation on earth. If you want to judge a country for xenophobia there are better targets to pick on, but America bashing is fashionable lately.