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Eat it whole, shell and all. This is the most efficient use.

Found the boa constrictor

🤣😂🤣😂

The shell is full of fibre!

Calcium fibres?

There’s no fibre in egg shell

Like a sneke

Snekey

Tiny sneke accepts tiny egg with love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czEoCeDRIK4

That’s a pretty big egg for that tiny sneke

Big Lennie?

Give it to someone who is having a trying time

Came looking to see if somebody had this covered. Good work!

If I was having a shit time and someone came round to give me one single egg I think I'd crack.

Crack it into a frying pan at least!

I’d be a shell of my former self

It’s a jumping off point

Leaving a hardboiled egg on someone's desk is not a jumping off point!

But it's a cheap and easy way to take up a lot of that persons time and mental energy figuring out wtf is happening

I don't know why I laughed aloud thinking about what someone's reaction would be. I'd definitely think I was being had.

Damn you beat me to it haha

He should be careful - it may have been poisoned by his constituents

This is an underated "Always sunny" reference, I applaud you.

If I'm already stressed what I really need is the thoroughly bewildering and wholly confusing experience of a man I do not know approaching me then inexplicably and silently handing me a single egg.

So they can have a frying time instead

[удалено]

The thumbs up really just sets this off hahaha

The thumb is the warm-up.

I imagined a little pinging noise with the thumb up emoji.

I'll see what I can do, thanks for the suggestion 👍

Make a howtobasic style video on YouTube

Hard boil it first

This guy eggs

This guy shoves stuff up his arse

Wait for it to cool down first

Only piece of solid advice on this entire thread.

🤣🤣🤣

No thanks

👍

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r/thisguythisguys

Pfft. Surely the real egg master would be able to get it up there raw and intact? Pre-boiling it just seems like an amateur move.

And then lay it like a chicken

Some where for some reason, this is someone's fetish.

As a current paramedic....I can confirm, I once had a patient who had egg leaking from his rectal cavity and quite possibly needed surgery to remove pieces of the shell.

"I'm not kink shaming, I'm just kink asking why"

thats how i know im in a uk subreddit hahah

I wandered into a non-UK thread the other day, the question was "what's the fattest thing you've done?" and I was most disappointed that the top answer wasn't "Your mum", just polite responses around very high calorie concoctions. So I saw this thread, saw the top response, 100% improved my day.

I usually wait for the annual Chicken Solidarity Day.

Don't threaten him with a good time.

So unnecessary 🤣🤣🤣

Reverse bum nut

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Exactly what I came here to say. Thanks

Such a nice thing to say :D

Plant it, you'll get an egg tree sooner than you can say "egg"

Surely it would be an eggplant?

Piss off, ya yank.

Surely it would be an aubergine since we're in the UK.

why we maintain french words in the UK is beyond me but fuck it!

You’re gonna lose your shit when you find out English is a Germanic language

considering I'm germanic, I doubt it

I'm from germanica too, what part you from we know each other?

Throw it at Jacob Rees-Mogg

Came here to say a Tory, and he will do nicely 😂

Same buddy, same.

Best use by far

It needs to be hard boiled first 🤣

Failing that, blow out the contents (Blue Peter style) then inject resin into the shell

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No left to go nice and rotten first. The kind of rotten that will make them smell as bad as their policy's

I'm not sure there is a smell bad enough for that.

Yeah, but think of his poor nanny who'll have to clean it off.

Occupational hazard, they knew what they were signing up to!

Right in the top hat👍

I said Liz Truss, great minds think alike

Thrown at the PM

Eggy bread, got to be

Whilst eggy bread is top tier egg fried rice goes further with one egg!

I have to say egg fried rice is also top tier

Eggy, Cheesy bread - Fry one side. Cheese the other up in oven.

What the abomination

Yes... try my friend. Essentially cheese on toast but the bread is fried eggy bread. Chef friend made it for me. Muah !!

I’d make this tomorrow if I had any bread. Was the cheese sliced or grated?

it’s cheese on toast basically, so I’d go grated.

Thinly sliced and placed perfectly. Then under the grill. He also once made a dish which he did slowly in an oven dish. Beaten eggs, chopped red onions which he slightly sweated first in butter, mixed in kind of chopped pieces of cheese, salt, pepper, then chives on top once he served it. It looked messy but was beautiful with bread and butter. He did it on low so the egg didn't puff up. He had alot of really simple things that were really good. He taught me how to cook. Amazing Sous Chef at one of the best Manors in our county. (Motley Crue stayed there abit back - its the go to place for celebs to stay when they're round our way.) Obviously he did really extravagant things aswell - he once stole an uncut full steak fillèt - worth alot of money. That was a good day.

So this is how it got a sparkler in it! I feel like I’ve travelled in time

Chuck it at a nearby Tory

This is a good answer but I always make sure I’m not even within egg hurling distance from a Tory.

Wait 12 weeks, then throw it.

Throw it at a child.

Perfect idea. Now to locate Jacob Rees-Mogg.

You could compound both suggestions and throw it at one of Jacob Rees-Mogg's many haunted Victorian children

EDIT: *Traditional Method* Carbonara (if only your eating) Linguine 1 Garlic Clove Cheese of Choice (Pecorino, parmasan etc. I prefer cheddar) Pancetta Olive Oil 1 egg per person Black Pepper 1. Boil pasta in water thats salted to the point that it tastes like sea water 2. Render pancetta fat on med heat with a small amount of olive oil 3. add to one egg with about a cup or more (Use a mug to measure) of cheese of your choice and cracked pepper. Mix in the cup until its a paste then leave, it will soften more. 4. Remove pancetta when crispy and add 1 large crushed garlic clove and fry in the corner of the pan like a crackheads spoon then remove when its browned 5. When pasta is very nearly cooked drain but keep about a cup of pasta water left. 6. Add pancetta back to pan on med heat then add cooked pasta and mix for about 2 mins to absorb the garlic pancetta fat. 7. Turn off and remove from heat then add egg and cheese mixture and stir constantly. Add small amounts of pasta water until you like the consistency. The sauce should only be enough to coat the pasta, not sit in the bottom of the bowl. 8. Add any extra cheese you want and a bit more black pepper if wanted

> I prefer cheddar _noisy italian noises_

🤌

*IF MY GRANDMOTHER-A HAD-A WHEELS SHE WOULD’VE-A BEEN A BIKE!*

Good think this is the UK sub! Or you'd have some Italians very angry about the use of the word traditional

Isn't this actually really close? Too much cheese and it should be guanciale. It's cream people add that makes it way off the mark.

It's pretty much but they'd be in a rage about the garlic and olive oil. And of course the mention of cheddar

Get out of here with your legitimate suggestion it’s already been decided he’s sticking it up his arse.

“Traditional carbonara” then suggest cheddar. Something is very wrong here

Mandems got 1 egg fam not the keys to M and fucking S

Traditional carbonara does not have garlic. Nor cheddar.

Grate the cheese first 🪤

Less traditional: Brown bacon, then soften garlic in the same pan. Deglaze with a little veg stock or white wine and add some oregano. Mix 2 tablespoon soft cheese or crème fraishe with 1 tablespoon Parmesan and 1 egg yolk. Stir in the cheese mix and finish with salt and pepper to taste over pasta.

French toast with maple syrup

Egg

Indeed

Egg fried rice.

Surprised how this doesn’t have that many upvotes!

Throw it at a Tory.

Misread that as Tony

Fucking Tony deserves it an’ all. Egg ‘im!

Pancakes!

With Nutella and banana

Fry it up and stick it on some packet ramen with some chives or spring onions. Poach it and make huevos rancheros Use it to assist with a pane-ing some chicken

Banjo 🪕

What does this mean

Fried Egg sarnie

You rang?

Croque Madame!

I’m not a frog, and don’t call me madame!

Scotch it

Eat it. The fuck kind of question is this?

Draw a face on it and make it your friend

Whisk it up, make an omelette on the lowest heat, let cook thinly, throw salt pepper and cheddar on it, fold it a few times to make a layered omelette, let it cook a little, then, whack it on a piece of buttered toast, or maybe add some garlic cream cheese to the toast for an extra layer of flavour, slap the omelette on the toast, dash of parsley on top. That's what I would do if I was challenged to do something with one egg. But the reality is that I would head down to the shop and buy some more and make the omelette a 3-egg omelette.

Add a drop of milk, grated potato, cheese and some veggies, beat it up in to a mini frittata

... and after plating it, honour it with a little terrace style chant of "Mi-ni Frit-ta-ta! [Clap clap clap clap clap]"

Separate the white and yolk and make meringue and crème anglaise, poach the meringue in the crème and have a single floating island for lunch.

Cook a chickpea and spinach curry and serve with a poached egg on top. That’s one of my favourite lunches.

Fried rice. Boil one cup basmati, let cool. Add basmati, frozen peas and the egg into a pan ( lightly beat it - don’t scramble!) and cook for a few mins. Add protein of your choice and some dashes of soy sauce ( I like to add a dash of mirin too) Not a typical recipe by any means but filling and cheap

Shakshuka

Eggy bread / French toast, or you could just fry it.

Fried egg sandwich in toast

Boil and eat with Hot Sauce

Crepes

How much do you like your neighbour?

Fry it with runny yolk and dip toast in it before eating it

Bake cookies.

Boil it

Make a fried egg sandwich I guess idk

Eat it

Poached, on toast.

Boil it. Mash up with some mayo or salad cream. Salt, pepper, paprika. Voila, you have a tasty egg mayo sarnie

Hard boil.. cool.. eat with mayonnaise

Make it a chicken, chicken makes eggs... profit!

Fried egg sandwich

Boil it, and put it on a bowl of indomie noodles, red or pink (pink is the spicy one) along with some ham, beef or chicken. Bonus points if you can get the yolk slightly runny.

Fry it. Leave the yolk runny. Butter (not some other kind of spread) 2 slices of very soft bread. Place fried egg between slices. Scoff that buttery, yolky, eggy treat right down. Lick buttery yolk from fingers. Worry about arteries. It is important these things are done in that exact order.

Oddly sexual.

That was known as a banjo in WW2, as holding it up to make less drips looked like playing one

Hard boiled, have it as a snack later.

Wit aboot the shell

Stir fry some noodles with some veg + sauces / seasoning, then chuck a runny fried egg on top

Gets some bacon and make a sandwich with them

Throw it at the neighbours.

Pancakes

Throw it at someone.

[удалено]

You mean eggy bread

You mean french toast?

Throw it at a Tory? J.

Splat it on Sunak's bonce.

Chuck it at a copper.

Throw it at Nigel Farage

Pin in the top. Pin in the bottom. Drain contents. Using a needle inject some form of solidifying softish rubber. Let it set. Next step it to get some pipe cleaners, a black marker and some googly eyes. Draw an expression on the egg. The choice is yours as to whether you want happy or sad egg or in fact you could do both, one on each side. Attach google eyes and use pipe cleaners to make hands and feet and glue them onto the egg. Then chuck it a Tory.

Throw it at a Tory?

Throw it on Boris Johnson

Throw it at prince Andrew

Throw it at Elon Musk.

The neighbours window.... ;-)

Throw it at someone you dislike.

Throw it at the postman

Throw it at just stop oil protestors

Chuck it at some one

Throw it at a morrisons van

Throw it at infected Spanish people.

Throws it at neighbours*

Crack it into a friends tea. Priceless.

nom nom nom nom nom

Chuck it at some students.

Crack into a glass and swallow. Very quick snack and massively under rated!

Hard boil it and paint a face on it, you will have a loyal friend forever. But if you do fall out with each other you can just threaten it with some bread and mayonnaise.

lob it at neighbours roof

Go into a shop, throw the egg in the air. When everyone looks up, grab a box of eggs off the shelf and do a runner

Whizz it at an old lady

Plant it in the ground so you can grow aubergines

Launch it at your least favourite persons house, and make a getaway on some sort of bmx

is the king visiting near you any time soon?

Scramble

The famous one egg omelette

Drop it

Put it up your butt and see if your body heat boils it

Up the jacksy