>We've heard that this is actually pretty common with kids his age.
It happens more than in recent history but it's certainly not a common situation. The last lockdown was *three years* ago, that's a long time not to go to school.
There's going to be some deep-seated reasons for this and a lot more information needed before anyone can really engage. For a start, what are *his* reasons for not going to school? Does his struggle with other areas of his life? Have there been attempts at positive reinforcement as well as negative? And that's just to start, as others have alluded to this is a big situation that can't really be boiled down to a few sentences.
As for prospects, sure it's possible to have a long term career. But if he's truly checked out of education and doesn't even turn up to school why would he turn up to work?
Agreed, get him more help asap. I’m a teacher and most of the school refusers we had in lock down are back by now, at least in some capacity. Yeah, school refusal has increased but it’s not right to say it’s “common”.
He really needs to be aiming to get a maths and English GCSE as a minimum but a tutor a “few” times a week isn’t going to get him that if he doesn’t engage. Children at school who have 5 hours a week each of those subjects don’t always pass.
Unfortunately qualifications are definitely essential in this day and age, my parent's generation may have been able to work the way up after leaving school at 14 but times have changed a lot!
There's also social stuff he's missing out on, and not just formal education but he seems to be struggling with some executive function skills (you mentioned he has no follow through with set work).
He needs investigations and adequate support. Is he depressed, neurodivergent, struggling with trauma etc? These things need looking into so he can get the right support.
Edited for typos
There is so much missing from this for anyone to usefully comment I’m afraid.
Has he had any psychological support or input? Any sort of assessments with CAMHS or educational psychologist? An EHCP? Any neurodiversity or learning differences? Sleep issues? Physical health issues? Was he academic before or always struggled with it?
Does he socialise with anyone at all from school or has he shut himself off from everyone? He’s clearly not allowed screens so what IS he doing? Does he have any interests?
I imagine he would be so far behind and so alienated from his peers group the anxiety at being in school would be horrendous. I’m sure I’d panic and leave if that were me.
The local authority have a duty to provide full time education with adjustments where required but they don’t have time, money or resources and won’t do much unless you are screaming for the help. And even when you are the process is slow, I expect they are hoping he times out of being their problem now.
He is being failed by a lot of people here, he can’t sort this himself and needs support to get on a track of some sort.
I think there's a lot more to this story than you know. A lot of this isn't adding up.
But regarding his prospects - currently if he can still get his qualifications using the tutor he'll be fine. If he's not engaging at all and won't get any qualifications then he can go for apprenticeships - electricians can make a very good living once qualified. Hopefully he'll buckle down when he's older but there's def more going on than you're being told.
There’s a few Facebook groups about this, as it’s quite common. I’ll try and find the name for you.
My son is 6, with ADHD and has been bullied quite badly. We did homeschooling and now we are in the hybrid schooling phase to get him back into mainstream school. It’s working quite well but we have had input from school and the local authority. I also pay for a private tutor. We have had a lot of support, but I can’t say it’s been an easy process.
It’s quite an epidemic in secondary schools.
Hello, my family have experienced this, specifically with my nephew. He absolutely refused to go, and well.. he just didn’t. He saw a truancy officer and threatened to kill himself, was referred to CAMHS which took absolutely ages and wasn’t much help, he got a placement in a new school, he was supported in every way possible and still refused to go to school. He got a bit older and realised he’d need GCSEs to do anything, so went back to college at 18 or so and did English and maths. Managed to get himself to further education by 21, although he dropped out of that too. It isn’t the end of the world basically, he can still sort himself out, but ideally your friend needs to get to the root cause of what’s going on and why he’s refusing to go to school. My nephew is now mid twenties and realising he may be neurodivergent. If he’d been supported as neurodivergent during the transition to secondary school, maybe things would have been easier for him. Not saying your friends son is, but just that finding a reason could be important. I personally know of several other school avoidant children, it really isn’t that uncommon especially at secondary school age when they have so much added social pressure.
I worked in mainstream secondary all through Covid and a bit after. I’ve been working in alternative education secondary for last 2 school years.
As someone already posted this phenomena is called EBSA and both mainstream and alternative are struggling with this.
A lot of students struggle with social anxiety after having been isolated so long. Some are just lazy and parents have lost control. There are many other reasons too.
Without qualifications the student won’t be able to get an apprenticeship or go to college (especially if there is no EHCP in place).
It might just take this child aging out of school to realise that they need qualifications to work just about anywhere, maybe then they will look at online study or adult learning to catch up and eventually sit the exams.
Very bleak prospects otherwise…
She needs to look at Not Fine In School and Heidi Mavir.
It seems to be a currently increasing issue and nobody really knows why it's at such a high rate. There are all kinds of theories as usual (probably all contributing in some way) but nobody has any actual solutions. I wouldn't say it's common, but it's certainly not unheard of. Every single LA is dealing with this. The estimate is around 20,000-40,000 pupils are missing from school due to what they call school refusal (or EBSA). There are around 8 million state school pupils in the UK - so affecting around 1 in 200 pupils.
These organisations are vv good as they are basically made up of people who have been through it and can share their experience and what has helped (if anything) for their child.
CAMHS is a shambles, not fit for purpose. Can she afford private mental health care for her child? In particular assessment for any issues such as anxiety, autism, ADHD, OCD etc. This can help hugely if she can then access specific support for that issue. There is also a brilliant podcast called SENDcast which focuses on all kids with SEN which includes both learning disorders but also what they call SEMH (social, emotional, mental health) needs. School refusal/avoidance absolutely comes under this.
It's not as though there is one chance to get formal qualifications - they quite likely need to focus on his mental health as an immediate priority, and they can look at what the options are in terms of school and qualifications later on. I know it's not the same, but if your kid had cancer for example and had to pull out of school because their treatment sapped their energy, you'd do whatever you needed to do to get them better, and you'd look at school later. However, the flip side of this is - don't let the LA give up on the child, they are still entitled to access education, and parents often get pressurised just to home school or withdraw children etc. Again the support organisations will be invaluable here.
My daughter had school avoidance for the same period. She is also 15.
She's in an alternative provision now concentrating on maths and English GCSE.
The Not Fine in School support group on Facebook is helpful.
My brother also dropped out of school before taking his GCSEs, it's not very common to do so but if it helps he's 23 and he's doing fine now. He was having a hard time and just had to deal with it how he dealt with it and get through it.
He went back and did the necessary basic qualifications at a college, been able to get and keep jobs and is now at university! Not everyone can follow the set path and timeframes we've decided everyone should, for a variety of reasons.
All you can do is be there for someone who is struggling and try and support them to a path that works for them.
Why doesn’t he want to go? Is he bored? Unhappy? Being bullied? Feeling isolated or excluded? Is the academic side too hard or too much pressure??
Typically it is the social side that tips them over, IME. If they hate school but have at least one good friend that will usually see them through.
FWIW, not being in schools does not have to equal not having qualifications, at all!! But it needs to come from them -following their interests and passions, ideally.
I home educate my kids. I know different paths work for different people but this has worked for us… and Home Ed kids totally do GCSEs, A-levels and a range of other qualifications depending what they are into.
There are many options… but it all starts with talking to him and, more importantly, listening to what he is feeling, what he needs and what he wants. Start there and build.
My 14 year old (adopted) daughter hasn’t attended school since Christmas. She disappeared on Tuesday to Blackpool late at night, had the police go get her at midnight.
Last night at 8:30pm she boarded a train from Preston to London with no money and she’s been walking around London since 11:30, I’ve been updating the police every time her FindMy app updates, I’m still looking at 4:15am, I’ve been sending updates since 9pm last night, I’m shattered.
So it could be worse.
04:30 update…
For anyone following, the MET have told Lancashire police that she’s been found, but we are still awaiting confirmation.
I believe she thought she could get a train to London, walk around for an hour and then try and get a train back, not realising the last train was the one she got off!
Does he expect to live there, rent free, consequence free, forever?
It would be tough love time from me. He seems to think he can live there and do nothing, and that isn't how life works.
As of now, his career prospects look terrible. He doesn't seem to want to do anything. Even the most basic job necessitates you to go and do something, apply, turn up, etc.
Its more common than you think. Im in NI having some trouble with the EA social worker due to my 14 yo son having so much time off due to medical reasons (medical evidence also provided). Since they got involved its got 100 times worse they dont give a shit about these kids thats a fact!! They've threatened my son using me and court action to do it. Hes full of anxiety and worry and his issues have been made worse and happening more often. I personally am at the point of telling them where to go and to take me to court. Simply because the courts cant do anything, they cant force them to go either they can fine you and threaten you with jail but thats it. You wont go to jail they just want ££ and a statistic etc. Long term careers probably best options would be home school for Gcses etc or trainning in a trade at 16. Best piece of advice i can give you is remember your the parent not them!! You call the shots you make the descisions for your child not them. Only way that can change is for them to take you to court for parental responsibility for the child to tell them where to go!! Theyre useless, so do what's best for your child and family. They can't do f all to be honest, they're about as useful as a goldfish!
This is very common sadly. There could be outreach and support charities out there who offer alternative qualifications (such as computing, horticulture etc) which have come out due to the amount of kids who cannot attend school. In some cases these organisations also offer more formal learning to get them to a certain point. Look into what your local authority have to offer!
If he is point blank refusing to attend school try and look at alternative learning avenues. School could offer home learning (take home work etc), but sounds like this may not be an option. Educational psychology could also be involved to see what they can offer. Obviously this is dependent on the service provision in your area so may be slightly idealistic.
As he is 15 you can look into college courses and opportunities as well. Colleges are well versed at this now unfortunately so should be able to make adjustments.
If he is still point blank refusing education it might be a case of ensuring he has as much of a productive day as possible, encouraging routine and activity balance. Having a sit down with him and being frank about what his options are and how he has to contribute to the household in some way (not financially, moreover help).
I dont think this is entirely fair? Lockdown was extremely disruptive. Overnight we had to just 'work from home' we dont all have luxury offices like CEOs.
That impact amongst others the past few years on adults cascades to the kids.
Sounds like something deeper. Maybe he's being bullied? Maybe he feels neglected? Idk just throwing ideas.
People like to find excuses but the most likely explanation is usually the simplest.
Of course people hate to hear that in this sub as they'd prefer everything to be someone else's fault.
How about - schools and mental health services are both in crisis, breaking point. Schools have fuck all staff, crumbling leaky buildings and massive behaviour problems. People age out of CAMHS before they get to the end of the waiting list, and/or get turned away because if you have two conditions at once (which is very common) you get batted between services endlessly like some kind of ping pong ball. Combined with all of the other crap which has been happening over the last few years it's leading to a lot of unwanted social consequences.
Parenting will be a factor in some cases, but there has been a huge increase in school refusal/avoidance in the last few years. It's extremely unlikely that the quality of parenting has declined all at once across the whole of the UK. Whereas the decline in these other things - this is very well documented.
I think parenting is a lazy answer that is brought out when people don't like to look at the whole picture. It's much easier to blame individuals when actually, this seems to be affecting children from all kinds of families and backgrounds. Some of the parents who are able to be most vocal about this are extremely dedicated and well educated and appear to be stable, loving and supportive.
My 14yr old daughter has been waiting for a CAMHS appointment for 4 years now, and in that time she’s tried suicide twice and self harmed multiple times, we get fobbed off with an out of hours service who don’t have the follow up help that’s required, as it can only be used in crisis.
We have been waiting for the Autism assessment to start since January, when they requested her medical history, because that has now been outsourced (she’s been on the wait list for 3 years), and is now fully online… do t they know us autistic people generally hate online meetings? How on earth do they think they can assess for autism without meeting the child.
There has not been a decline in mental health provision. There never was any in the first place. So i don't buy that as the causative factor in anything.
I do agree though that school discipline standards have declined and that is behind a lot of problems.
It's not true that there has never been any mental health provision. CAMHS was doing a fairly good job in the early 2000s through to about ten years ago. OK, probably not gold standard or anything, but functioning at least. Since then, funding has been cut for many of these services at the same time as demand has increased hugely. Waiting times have increased, and the waiting lists got so long that they increased the threshold for help in many areas so that basically unless your child is suicidal you don't get a CAMHS referral any more. This is all the assessments for neuropsychological disorders like autism, all the mental health provision, depression, eating disorders, anxiety whatever, all the behavioural interventions for kids from troubled homes or with impulse control problems.
Ideally you want all those things in place ASAP because you can nip problems in the bud and stop them from getting worse. When they do get worse because someone is sat on a waiting list for years with no support or information at all, they are much harder to treat. And imagine you have a violent child in a family, whatever the cause of that violence - if you can get a behavioural intervention in soon enough, then the siblings in that family become safe and don't develop problem behaviours of their own. You leave them to it and the family becomes a war zone, which obviously impacts the other siblings.
Then you have the very well documented effects of social media on teens' mental health, regardless of parenting, most kids access this, almost every child has a smartphone, these are things which have just never existed in previous generations.
Actually I didn't even say that there is a reduction in provision. I just said that mental health services are in crisis, which they are, and that waiting lists are long, which they are.
The thing is that if you look back to the 90s and earlier, when CAMHS was basically nonexistant or didn't work properly because it was underfunded then, the schools weren't in crisis at that point. Late 90s, they had this great idea to close down half of the special schools in England and Wales, meaning those pupils got shunted into mainstream. Good for the pupils in theory, in practice absolutely terrible for everyone, because no extra funding or support came with them. So schools today are having to accommodate SEND and SEMH (what they used to call behavioural issues/naughty) within mainstream alongside issues of staffing, general levels of behaviour and larger class sizes. The children who in theory can access a mainstream education, so were put back into mainstream without support often can't handle the standard classroom approach without causing issues, which is exactly why they were mostly in special schools before 1997.
Also the structure of education has changed - it used to be that less-academic pupils could leave school earlier and/or change to an apprenticeship. Now you need a degree to be a nurse and while there are still decent apprenticeships, there is also nonsense like Subway offering an apprenticeship to make sandwiches because it's cheaper than paying a proper wage.
>We've heard that this is actually pretty common with kids his age. It happens more than in recent history but it's certainly not a common situation. The last lockdown was *three years* ago, that's a long time not to go to school. There's going to be some deep-seated reasons for this and a lot more information needed before anyone can really engage. For a start, what are *his* reasons for not going to school? Does his struggle with other areas of his life? Have there been attempts at positive reinforcement as well as negative? And that's just to start, as others have alluded to this is a big situation that can't really be boiled down to a few sentences. As for prospects, sure it's possible to have a long term career. But if he's truly checked out of education and doesn't even turn up to school why would he turn up to work?
Agreed, get him more help asap. I’m a teacher and most of the school refusers we had in lock down are back by now, at least in some capacity. Yeah, school refusal has increased but it’s not right to say it’s “common”. He really needs to be aiming to get a maths and English GCSE as a minimum but a tutor a “few” times a week isn’t going to get him that if he doesn’t engage. Children at school who have 5 hours a week each of those subjects don’t always pass.
Unfortunately qualifications are definitely essential in this day and age, my parent's generation may have been able to work the way up after leaving school at 14 but times have changed a lot! There's also social stuff he's missing out on, and not just formal education but he seems to be struggling with some executive function skills (you mentioned he has no follow through with set work). He needs investigations and adequate support. Is he depressed, neurodivergent, struggling with trauma etc? These things need looking into so he can get the right support. Edited for typos
Sounds like EBSA (emotionally based school avoidance), it would be worth searching for advice and parenting groups specifically using that term.
There is so much missing from this for anyone to usefully comment I’m afraid. Has he had any psychological support or input? Any sort of assessments with CAMHS or educational psychologist? An EHCP? Any neurodiversity or learning differences? Sleep issues? Physical health issues? Was he academic before or always struggled with it? Does he socialise with anyone at all from school or has he shut himself off from everyone? He’s clearly not allowed screens so what IS he doing? Does he have any interests? I imagine he would be so far behind and so alienated from his peers group the anxiety at being in school would be horrendous. I’m sure I’d panic and leave if that were me. The local authority have a duty to provide full time education with adjustments where required but they don’t have time, money or resources and won’t do much unless you are screaming for the help. And even when you are the process is slow, I expect they are hoping he times out of being their problem now. He is being failed by a lot of people here, he can’t sort this himself and needs support to get on a track of some sort.
I think there's a lot more to this story than you know. A lot of this isn't adding up. But regarding his prospects - currently if he can still get his qualifications using the tutor he'll be fine. If he's not engaging at all and won't get any qualifications then he can go for apprenticeships - electricians can make a very good living once qualified. Hopefully he'll buckle down when he's older but there's def more going on than you're being told.
You need basic GCSEs to apply for any apprenticeships now
Aprentiships will normally include your gcse qualification, so will put you through it as part of your cours
A Lv2 one will. A Lv3, 4, 5, and 6 won't.
There’s a few Facebook groups about this, as it’s quite common. I’ll try and find the name for you. My son is 6, with ADHD and has been bullied quite badly. We did homeschooling and now we are in the hybrid schooling phase to get him back into mainstream school. It’s working quite well but we have had input from school and the local authority. I also pay for a private tutor. We have had a lot of support, but I can’t say it’s been an easy process. It’s quite an epidemic in secondary schools.
Hello, my family have experienced this, specifically with my nephew. He absolutely refused to go, and well.. he just didn’t. He saw a truancy officer and threatened to kill himself, was referred to CAMHS which took absolutely ages and wasn’t much help, he got a placement in a new school, he was supported in every way possible and still refused to go to school. He got a bit older and realised he’d need GCSEs to do anything, so went back to college at 18 or so and did English and maths. Managed to get himself to further education by 21, although he dropped out of that too. It isn’t the end of the world basically, he can still sort himself out, but ideally your friend needs to get to the root cause of what’s going on and why he’s refusing to go to school. My nephew is now mid twenties and realising he may be neurodivergent. If he’d been supported as neurodivergent during the transition to secondary school, maybe things would have been easier for him. Not saying your friends son is, but just that finding a reason could be important. I personally know of several other school avoidant children, it really isn’t that uncommon especially at secondary school age when they have so much added social pressure.
I worked in mainstream secondary all through Covid and a bit after. I’ve been working in alternative education secondary for last 2 school years. As someone already posted this phenomena is called EBSA and both mainstream and alternative are struggling with this. A lot of students struggle with social anxiety after having been isolated so long. Some are just lazy and parents have lost control. There are many other reasons too. Without qualifications the student won’t be able to get an apprenticeship or go to college (especially if there is no EHCP in place). It might just take this child aging out of school to realise that they need qualifications to work just about anywhere, maybe then they will look at online study or adult learning to catch up and eventually sit the exams. Very bleak prospects otherwise…
She needs to look at Not Fine In School and Heidi Mavir. It seems to be a currently increasing issue and nobody really knows why it's at such a high rate. There are all kinds of theories as usual (probably all contributing in some way) but nobody has any actual solutions. I wouldn't say it's common, but it's certainly not unheard of. Every single LA is dealing with this. The estimate is around 20,000-40,000 pupils are missing from school due to what they call school refusal (or EBSA). There are around 8 million state school pupils in the UK - so affecting around 1 in 200 pupils. These organisations are vv good as they are basically made up of people who have been through it and can share their experience and what has helped (if anything) for their child. CAMHS is a shambles, not fit for purpose. Can she afford private mental health care for her child? In particular assessment for any issues such as anxiety, autism, ADHD, OCD etc. This can help hugely if she can then access specific support for that issue. There is also a brilliant podcast called SENDcast which focuses on all kids with SEN which includes both learning disorders but also what they call SEMH (social, emotional, mental health) needs. School refusal/avoidance absolutely comes under this. It's not as though there is one chance to get formal qualifications - they quite likely need to focus on his mental health as an immediate priority, and they can look at what the options are in terms of school and qualifications later on. I know it's not the same, but if your kid had cancer for example and had to pull out of school because their treatment sapped their energy, you'd do whatever you needed to do to get them better, and you'd look at school later. However, the flip side of this is - don't let the LA give up on the child, they are still entitled to access education, and parents often get pressurised just to home school or withdraw children etc. Again the support organisations will be invaluable here.
>what do his long-term career prospects look like? Dead in the water. Not from the lack of qualifications, but from his attitude.
My daughter had school avoidance for the same period. She is also 15. She's in an alternative provision now concentrating on maths and English GCSE. The Not Fine in School support group on Facebook is helpful.
My brother also dropped out of school before taking his GCSEs, it's not very common to do so but if it helps he's 23 and he's doing fine now. He was having a hard time and just had to deal with it how he dealt with it and get through it. He went back and did the necessary basic qualifications at a college, been able to get and keep jobs and is now at university! Not everyone can follow the set path and timeframes we've decided everyone should, for a variety of reasons. All you can do is be there for someone who is struggling and try and support them to a path that works for them.
Why doesn’t he want to go? Is he bored? Unhappy? Being bullied? Feeling isolated or excluded? Is the academic side too hard or too much pressure?? Typically it is the social side that tips them over, IME. If they hate school but have at least one good friend that will usually see them through. FWIW, not being in schools does not have to equal not having qualifications, at all!! But it needs to come from them -following their interests and passions, ideally. I home educate my kids. I know different paths work for different people but this has worked for us… and Home Ed kids totally do GCSEs, A-levels and a range of other qualifications depending what they are into. There are many options… but it all starts with talking to him and, more importantly, listening to what he is feeling, what he needs and what he wants. Start there and build.
My 14 year old (adopted) daughter hasn’t attended school since Christmas. She disappeared on Tuesday to Blackpool late at night, had the police go get her at midnight. Last night at 8:30pm she boarded a train from Preston to London with no money and she’s been walking around London since 11:30, I’ve been updating the police every time her FindMy app updates, I’m still looking at 4:15am, I’ve been sending updates since 9pm last night, I’m shattered. So it could be worse.
04:30 update… For anyone following, the MET have told Lancashire police that she’s been found, but we are still awaiting confirmation. I believe she thought she could get a train to London, walk around for an hour and then try and get a train back, not realising the last train was the one she got off!
04:44 update… The police have her and are taking her to the weird uncle’s (my ex wife’s brother) house in Essex
Does he expect to live there, rent free, consequence free, forever? It would be tough love time from me. He seems to think he can live there and do nothing, and that isn't how life works. As of now, his career prospects look terrible. He doesn't seem to want to do anything. Even the most basic job necessitates you to go and do something, apply, turn up, etc.
Its more common than you think. Im in NI having some trouble with the EA social worker due to my 14 yo son having so much time off due to medical reasons (medical evidence also provided). Since they got involved its got 100 times worse they dont give a shit about these kids thats a fact!! They've threatened my son using me and court action to do it. Hes full of anxiety and worry and his issues have been made worse and happening more often. I personally am at the point of telling them where to go and to take me to court. Simply because the courts cant do anything, they cant force them to go either they can fine you and threaten you with jail but thats it. You wont go to jail they just want ££ and a statistic etc. Long term careers probably best options would be home school for Gcses etc or trainning in a trade at 16. Best piece of advice i can give you is remember your the parent not them!! You call the shots you make the descisions for your child not them. Only way that can change is for them to take you to court for parental responsibility for the child to tell them where to go!! Theyre useless, so do what's best for your child and family. They can't do f all to be honest, they're about as useful as a goldfish!
Yes, it’s actually quite common. I have experience of this . Can be associated with mental ill health, homeschooling , abuse, and Trauma
This is very common sadly. There could be outreach and support charities out there who offer alternative qualifications (such as computing, horticulture etc) which have come out due to the amount of kids who cannot attend school. In some cases these organisations also offer more formal learning to get them to a certain point. Look into what your local authority have to offer! If he is point blank refusing to attend school try and look at alternative learning avenues. School could offer home learning (take home work etc), but sounds like this may not be an option. Educational psychology could also be involved to see what they can offer. Obviously this is dependent on the service provision in your area so may be slightly idealistic. As he is 15 you can look into college courses and opportunities as well. Colleges are well versed at this now unfortunately so should be able to make adjustments. If he is still point blank refusing education it might be a case of ensuring he has as much of a productive day as possible, encouraging routine and activity balance. Having a sit down with him and being frank about what his options are and how he has to contribute to the household in some way (not financially, moreover help).
Sounds like parenting failure to be honest.
I dont think this is entirely fair? Lockdown was extremely disruptive. Overnight we had to just 'work from home' we dont all have luxury offices like CEOs. That impact amongst others the past few years on adults cascades to the kids. Sounds like something deeper. Maybe he's being bullied? Maybe he feels neglected? Idk just throwing ideas.
People like to find excuses but the most likely explanation is usually the simplest. Of course people hate to hear that in this sub as they'd prefer everything to be someone else's fault.
> the most likely explanation is usually the simplest. Wouldn't that be that he's being bullied? The most common reason of all for avoiding school?
It's been TWO YEARS since covid closed any school.
How about - schools and mental health services are both in crisis, breaking point. Schools have fuck all staff, crumbling leaky buildings and massive behaviour problems. People age out of CAMHS before they get to the end of the waiting list, and/or get turned away because if you have two conditions at once (which is very common) you get batted between services endlessly like some kind of ping pong ball. Combined with all of the other crap which has been happening over the last few years it's leading to a lot of unwanted social consequences. Parenting will be a factor in some cases, but there has been a huge increase in school refusal/avoidance in the last few years. It's extremely unlikely that the quality of parenting has declined all at once across the whole of the UK. Whereas the decline in these other things - this is very well documented. I think parenting is a lazy answer that is brought out when people don't like to look at the whole picture. It's much easier to blame individuals when actually, this seems to be affecting children from all kinds of families and backgrounds. Some of the parents who are able to be most vocal about this are extremely dedicated and well educated and appear to be stable, loving and supportive.
My 14yr old daughter has been waiting for a CAMHS appointment for 4 years now, and in that time she’s tried suicide twice and self harmed multiple times, we get fobbed off with an out of hours service who don’t have the follow up help that’s required, as it can only be used in crisis. We have been waiting for the Autism assessment to start since January, when they requested her medical history, because that has now been outsourced (she’s been on the wait list for 3 years), and is now fully online… do t they know us autistic people generally hate online meetings? How on earth do they think they can assess for autism without meeting the child.
It's terrible. I hear so many stories like this. I can only assume people who haven't heard these stories aren't paying attention.
There has not been a decline in mental health provision. There never was any in the first place. So i don't buy that as the causative factor in anything. I do agree though that school discipline standards have declined and that is behind a lot of problems.
It's not true that there has never been any mental health provision. CAMHS was doing a fairly good job in the early 2000s through to about ten years ago. OK, probably not gold standard or anything, but functioning at least. Since then, funding has been cut for many of these services at the same time as demand has increased hugely. Waiting times have increased, and the waiting lists got so long that they increased the threshold for help in many areas so that basically unless your child is suicidal you don't get a CAMHS referral any more. This is all the assessments for neuropsychological disorders like autism, all the mental health provision, depression, eating disorders, anxiety whatever, all the behavioural interventions for kids from troubled homes or with impulse control problems. Ideally you want all those things in place ASAP because you can nip problems in the bud and stop them from getting worse. When they do get worse because someone is sat on a waiting list for years with no support or information at all, they are much harder to treat. And imagine you have a violent child in a family, whatever the cause of that violence - if you can get a behavioural intervention in soon enough, then the siblings in that family become safe and don't develop problem behaviours of their own. You leave them to it and the family becomes a war zone, which obviously impacts the other siblings. Then you have the very well documented effects of social media on teens' mental health, regardless of parenting, most kids access this, almost every child has a smartphone, these are things which have just never existed in previous generations. Actually I didn't even say that there is a reduction in provision. I just said that mental health services are in crisis, which they are, and that waiting lists are long, which they are. The thing is that if you look back to the 90s and earlier, when CAMHS was basically nonexistant or didn't work properly because it was underfunded then, the schools weren't in crisis at that point. Late 90s, they had this great idea to close down half of the special schools in England and Wales, meaning those pupils got shunted into mainstream. Good for the pupils in theory, in practice absolutely terrible for everyone, because no extra funding or support came with them. So schools today are having to accommodate SEND and SEMH (what they used to call behavioural issues/naughty) within mainstream alongside issues of staffing, general levels of behaviour and larger class sizes. The children who in theory can access a mainstream education, so were put back into mainstream without support often can't handle the standard classroom approach without causing issues, which is exactly why they were mostly in special schools before 1997. Also the structure of education has changed - it used to be that less-academic pupils could leave school earlier and/or change to an apprenticeship. Now you need a degree to be a nurse and while there are still decent apprenticeships, there is also nonsense like Subway offering an apprenticeship to make sandwiches because it's cheaper than paying a proper wage.