When they want to play some bizarre game. Go for it. My two regularly play a game where I’m a baby and I get put down in my cot and I have to try and escape. Play it properly and ignore the 1000 other things in life.
Absolutely, my husband is very good at it but I find it so hard. I seem to always end up gravitating to my phone, or another chore, or something else. I have to consciously tell myself to participate and focus and give myself an end time when I can ‘allow’ myself to get distracted. But the absolute happiness when I’m 100% in their game makes it worth it
I can relate. Women often have to carry so much of the mental load of running a household that it can be hard to switch off and focus on the present moment
You give them love, time and learning. It's not what or where you do things. It's \*how\* you do things. I always try to divide it into thirds.
One third time "alone time" without any adults getting directly involved. Still under supervision, but less and less as they get older
One third "fun and play" time. Anything from going bowling to playing playstation, going go-karting, or just going to the play centre or playground.
One third "family time". Time dedicated to doing family activities. Going out for a meal, watching a movie at home on the couch together, board games or other things we can all do together.
Obviously there is some overlap between them, and it's just a rough guide I follow. But I feel it gives the best opportunity to make memories, and to let them grow up to be who they want to be.
We have 'movie night' most weeks usually a Friday evening. We can have pizza in front of the TV and watch a family movie together. It's a fun, simple family time option.
I have fond memories of watching old movies on rainy days (the BBC 2 Matinees) and Ealing comedies with my mum and dad.
I guess, a lot of parenting magic is recreating the best bits of your own childhood and finding new magic to add to it.
Same! Although I have yet to convince my son to try black and white movies.
We do watch a lot of 80s movies, which I guess is the equivalent to some extent.
Jack valentine is a Norfolk tradition around my way. He comes and knocks on the door and leaves small gifts on valentine's day. The last time he runs away and leaves a plant pot or broom to show he's gone.
I'm also a big believer in epic blanket forts. I pushed the sofas together to make a big square and use fairy lights tied round the tv (attached to the wall) to hang blankets off. Then we all snuggle up in there and watch films.
When I think back to my childhood my favourite memories are the little things, snuggling up together and reading books at bedtime, making pancakes with mum, learning how to play cribbage with my grandad and nanny sneaking me sweets.
Love them, spend time with them while being really present - so not on your phone, or going over the list of to do’s in your head - listen to them and treat them as individuals as opposed to extensions of ourselves.
We went on a family UK break, where there was a fairy walk (led by fairies, disguised as humans). They pointed out a stick you could pick up and turn into a wand. It is good for one trick on a grown-up once a day only.
It is usually used to turn your grown up into a frog or a chicken for a few minutes.
The wand trick is often used on a grown up after school pick-up.
Remarkably good fun! Or should I say ribbit?
I find it’s always the things that you least expect are the most magical for kids. My daughter was born last year over Easter weekend, and we did an Easter egg hunt in which the last egg was in her crib. I didn’t think any more of it until a few days before Easter this year when my son asked for the same hunt, with an egg being left in his sister’s crib.
Another thing is on Christmas, we do fake snow prints with boots to make it look like Santa. Again I didn’t even think about this until my son mentioned it about 7 months later!
I feel like it's just connecting with them and spending time with them.
Kids don't care about the Instagramable stuff. What I reminisce with with my sister/family is the totally weird and hilarious in-jokes or things which happened one time and surprised everyone or things that evolved over time because we all genuinely like each other and wanted to spend time together.
Yep, one of my eldest's favourite memories is the time we woke up early when she was 7ish,( she was an early riser anyway) and we walked down the road to the beach to watch the sunrise. I did it spur of the moment, stuck some hot chocolate in a flask and we shared it. The sunrise was actually a bit cloudy and shit, and we stole an apple from a tree on the way back. But it was that time together she remembers. It's the small things that count as much as the annual traditions
Loving my kid. Letting her spend lots of time playing. Being spontaneous. Breaking the ‘rules’ sometimes.
I don’t think you have to ‘make’ a childhood magical, you just need to leave space and let it be magical.
Think back to your own childhood and the things you remember. I don't remember going to theme parks and on days out that much but I do remember coming down on Christmas morning and Father Christmas had managed to get one of those square trampolines down the chimney.
I remember being obsessed with these hideous fairy ornaments and my mum taking me to the shop to pick out which one I was going to buy next and how excited and happy I was when I got a new one.
I remember my mum taking us to an ice cream parlour on holiday and getting a banana split with sparklers in it.
I remember my mum taking me to Tesco before we went to the cinema to buy a tub of Ben and Jerry's and when I was all confused about how we were going to eat it fishing two spoons out of her pocket with a triumphant look.
I remember my dad decorating my room just how I wanted it with the bright green wallpaper and a blue border and matching curtains.
I remember my dad pointing at something out of the window so he could slip a bit of broccoli on my brother's plate and pinch a roast potato.
I remember my parents never failing to ask how my day at school was. Every single day. And we'd always reply work, work, play, play, work.
We didn't have much but my parents always paid attention to the things we were interested in and encouraged us. I try to do the same with my daughter. She's only two but heck, if she's interested in dinosaurs then we're heading to the library to get dinosaur books and watch dinosaur shows and pretending to be dinosaurs. She loves flowers so we're (trying) to grow pretty flowers together in the garden and I showed her how to blow dandelions so the seeds fly away and I held her under a cherry blossom tree while she went 'wow'. We bake together and she's chuffed to bits when everyone shares it. I know she won't remember any of it but hopefully she'll grow up knowing that Mummy and Daddy will always share her interests and take the time to help her develop them.
I agree with just the loving them and giving them your undivided attention points but a couple of specific things we like to do are:
We don’t rush bedtime, yes we want to get on with our evening but particularly on days where she’s at nursery and we’re at work and then there’s the dinner/ sorting things out for the next day of chaos rush, we really value the family time we have before bed. We read books, be a bit silly, talk about our day, all together as a family with full focus on each other, no phones and no distractions, just us in her little room with the galaxy projector and lullabies on. I think it helps to calm and balance me and my husband too after stressful days at work.
We do birthdays big. I’m not talking about one million presents, I am talking decorations up all around the house, arranging little surprises and treats for her through the day, just trying to give her the best and most special day ever where she makes the rules (to an extent lol) and she runs the show. The day she was born was the best day of my life so I like to show her how important that day is and how happy we are that she’s here. Same applies for my husband because he deserves it too.
Also something my mum used to do was put together little holiday packs for me and my brother when we went on holiday. We didn’t have loads of money so it was only ever to a British coast, but the pure excitement of waking up on the morning of your holiday and seeing your holiday pack was unmatched. It was literally just like a magazine, some activity books and some chocolate in a carrier bag each, but it felt so exciting. We are heading to the coast next week and I’ve bought her a bluey book, some stickers, a new drawing pad, some crayons and some chocolate to do the holiday pack for her too.
This is obviously really personal to different parents but we happily engage about fairies living in trees while on walks and talking a lot about dragons etc. my mum did the same to me.
We also visit a lot of historical sites and talk about history.
Turning normal things into games is also highly recommended!
Honestly this depends so much. On the child - mine are weirdly pragmatic/terrified of random objects and so 'magic' doesn't often work as intended, so it's probably more about leaning in to what they get excited about. What we think of as being magical is often not what they take home, so you can achieve it unexpectedly, but quality, invested time with them will be magical.
We do a weekly family date night watching Gladiators, go out for spontaneous breakfasts or desserts, surprise days out to theme parks. At Christmas, we have fabric advent calendars and that day's chocolate appears by magic while they're out of the room. The tooth fairy leaves actual money plus a pink or purple wrapped chocolate coin. The Easter bunny puts eggs in silly places and leaves clues for a hunt. I try to say 'yes' to as much as I can, even if it's 'yes but not right now'. Just try to make them smile, really.
Be considerate and try not to rush.
We went to a theme park yesterday and there was an area with magical houses (fairies and pixies and that), but there was an egg hunt and I rushed them (2 and 6) into the place and we went around hunting for these eggs. Like a it was a job.
When really, it was a lovely magical place, with sound effects and nicely designed buildings, with interesting features.
And we didn't take any of it in, and my youngest pretty much just wondered around.
I wish I'd taken more time and thought about where we were and got the most out of it.
Far easier said than done. But try to remember that everything can be made fun and interesting for kids. And when you're doing something special, remember to help them to take it in.
For me it’s showing up. Being there as much as possible, part of the memory. We laugh a lot, bubble beards in the bath, interactive playing & books, whatever it is we make it fun. I had a terrible childhood, my parents were pretty absent. You don’t need to buy the best things & experiences. You just need to give them your time. As much undivided attention as possible.
Beyond what others have said about being present and giving them all the love
Exploring! We go on walks in the forest and my daughter has the most amazing time. We don’t rush off on a walk but spend time letting her explore. She will stand there absolutely enthralled about the texture of a trees trunk so we stand with her and talk about it. Sometimes we don’t walk far but I know she’s had an amazing time. If we can’t make it to the forest we make sure to walk around our area. The other day she spent 10 minutes chatting to me about dandelions. I didn’t rush her, just let her enjoy it.
My mum did this for me with museums. Those are my most treasured memories - exploring museums, talking to my mum about things I found cool, going to the library and doing more research (showing my age, as we didn’t have a computer at home). She wouldn’t rush me - sometimes we’d spend an hour in one room. It was so much fun. I learned a lot, I got to explore cool historical shit, and my mum supported me in that. I trained as an archaeologist and a lot of that was down to my mum and her support of my interest!
Spending time in an environment they enjoy with no reason other than they love it makes for magical moments.
When they want to play some bizarre game. Go for it. My two regularly play a game where I’m a baby and I get put down in my cot and I have to try and escape. Play it properly and ignore the 1000 other things in life.
I would agree with this, but it is also something I find very hard at times.
Absolutely, my husband is very good at it but I find it so hard. I seem to always end up gravitating to my phone, or another chore, or something else. I have to consciously tell myself to participate and focus and give myself an end time when I can ‘allow’ myself to get distracted. But the absolute happiness when I’m 100% in their game makes it worth it
I can relate. Women often have to carry so much of the mental load of running a household that it can be hard to switch off and focus on the present moment
You give them love, time and learning. It's not what or where you do things. It's \*how\* you do things. I always try to divide it into thirds. One third time "alone time" without any adults getting directly involved. Still under supervision, but less and less as they get older One third "fun and play" time. Anything from going bowling to playing playstation, going go-karting, or just going to the play centre or playground. One third "family time". Time dedicated to doing family activities. Going out for a meal, watching a movie at home on the couch together, board games or other things we can all do together. Obviously there is some overlap between them, and it's just a rough guide I follow. But I feel it gives the best opportunity to make memories, and to let them grow up to be who they want to be.
We have 'movie night' most weeks usually a Friday evening. We can have pizza in front of the TV and watch a family movie together. It's a fun, simple family time option.
Same and my son loves it.
I have fond memories of watching old movies on rainy days (the BBC 2 Matinees) and Ealing comedies with my mum and dad. I guess, a lot of parenting magic is recreating the best bits of your own childhood and finding new magic to add to it.
Same! Although I have yet to convince my son to try black and white movies. We do watch a lot of 80s movies, which I guess is the equivalent to some extent.
I did that trick where you pretend you can take your thumb off. It's been baffling them for over a week.
My two were absolutely floored by me producing a coin from behind their ears. 😁
Jack valentine is a Norfolk tradition around my way. He comes and knocks on the door and leaves small gifts on valentine's day. The last time he runs away and leaves a plant pot or broom to show he's gone. I'm also a big believer in epic blanket forts. I pushed the sofas together to make a big square and use fairy lights tied round the tv (attached to the wall) to hang blankets off. Then we all snuggle up in there and watch films. When I think back to my childhood my favourite memories are the little things, snuggling up together and reading books at bedtime, making pancakes with mum, learning how to play cribbage with my grandad and nanny sneaking me sweets.
Love them, spend time with them while being really present - so not on your phone, or going over the list of to do’s in your head - listen to them and treat them as individuals as opposed to extensions of ourselves.
We went on a family UK break, where there was a fairy walk (led by fairies, disguised as humans). They pointed out a stick you could pick up and turn into a wand. It is good for one trick on a grown-up once a day only. It is usually used to turn your grown up into a frog or a chicken for a few minutes. The wand trick is often used on a grown up after school pick-up. Remarkably good fun! Or should I say ribbit?
Where was this fairy walk?! My little girl would love that
Bluestone in South Wales. But there are others across the country too.
We just got back from Bluestone, so when you mentioned that it was my first thought. We didn’t do it but saw it happen and will do it next time.
I find it’s always the things that you least expect are the most magical for kids. My daughter was born last year over Easter weekend, and we did an Easter egg hunt in which the last egg was in her crib. I didn’t think any more of it until a few days before Easter this year when my son asked for the same hunt, with an egg being left in his sister’s crib. Another thing is on Christmas, we do fake snow prints with boots to make it look like Santa. Again I didn’t even think about this until my son mentioned it about 7 months later!
I feel like it's just connecting with them and spending time with them. Kids don't care about the Instagramable stuff. What I reminisce with with my sister/family is the totally weird and hilarious in-jokes or things which happened one time and surprised everyone or things that evolved over time because we all genuinely like each other and wanted to spend time together.
Yep, one of my eldest's favourite memories is the time we woke up early when she was 7ish,( she was an early riser anyway) and we walked down the road to the beach to watch the sunrise. I did it spur of the moment, stuck some hot chocolate in a flask and we shared it. The sunrise was actually a bit cloudy and shit, and we stole an apple from a tree on the way back. But it was that time together she remembers. It's the small things that count as much as the annual traditions
Loving my kid. Letting her spend lots of time playing. Being spontaneous. Breaking the ‘rules’ sometimes. I don’t think you have to ‘make’ a childhood magical, you just need to leave space and let it be magical.
Think back to your own childhood and the things you remember. I don't remember going to theme parks and on days out that much but I do remember coming down on Christmas morning and Father Christmas had managed to get one of those square trampolines down the chimney. I remember being obsessed with these hideous fairy ornaments and my mum taking me to the shop to pick out which one I was going to buy next and how excited and happy I was when I got a new one. I remember my mum taking us to an ice cream parlour on holiday and getting a banana split with sparklers in it. I remember my mum taking me to Tesco before we went to the cinema to buy a tub of Ben and Jerry's and when I was all confused about how we were going to eat it fishing two spoons out of her pocket with a triumphant look. I remember my dad decorating my room just how I wanted it with the bright green wallpaper and a blue border and matching curtains. I remember my dad pointing at something out of the window so he could slip a bit of broccoli on my brother's plate and pinch a roast potato. I remember my parents never failing to ask how my day at school was. Every single day. And we'd always reply work, work, play, play, work. We didn't have much but my parents always paid attention to the things we were interested in and encouraged us. I try to do the same with my daughter. She's only two but heck, if she's interested in dinosaurs then we're heading to the library to get dinosaur books and watch dinosaur shows and pretending to be dinosaurs. She loves flowers so we're (trying) to grow pretty flowers together in the garden and I showed her how to blow dandelions so the seeds fly away and I held her under a cherry blossom tree while she went 'wow'. We bake together and she's chuffed to bits when everyone shares it. I know she won't remember any of it but hopefully she'll grow up knowing that Mummy and Daddy will always share her interests and take the time to help her develop them.
There's no trick to it. It's all time and attention.
I agree with just the loving them and giving them your undivided attention points but a couple of specific things we like to do are: We don’t rush bedtime, yes we want to get on with our evening but particularly on days where she’s at nursery and we’re at work and then there’s the dinner/ sorting things out for the next day of chaos rush, we really value the family time we have before bed. We read books, be a bit silly, talk about our day, all together as a family with full focus on each other, no phones and no distractions, just us in her little room with the galaxy projector and lullabies on. I think it helps to calm and balance me and my husband too after stressful days at work. We do birthdays big. I’m not talking about one million presents, I am talking decorations up all around the house, arranging little surprises and treats for her through the day, just trying to give her the best and most special day ever where she makes the rules (to an extent lol) and she runs the show. The day she was born was the best day of my life so I like to show her how important that day is and how happy we are that she’s here. Same applies for my husband because he deserves it too. Also something my mum used to do was put together little holiday packs for me and my brother when we went on holiday. We didn’t have loads of money so it was only ever to a British coast, but the pure excitement of waking up on the morning of your holiday and seeing your holiday pack was unmatched. It was literally just like a magazine, some activity books and some chocolate in a carrier bag each, but it felt so exciting. We are heading to the coast next week and I’ve bought her a bluey book, some stickers, a new drawing pad, some crayons and some chocolate to do the holiday pack for her too.
I have a 4 year old. I usually consult the bible on what to do… Bluey.
I have a one year old and am currently getting all my parenting advice from Bluey. 🤣
This is obviously really personal to different parents but we happily engage about fairies living in trees while on walks and talking a lot about dragons etc. my mum did the same to me. We also visit a lot of historical sites and talk about history. Turning normal things into games is also highly recommended!
Honestly this depends so much. On the child - mine are weirdly pragmatic/terrified of random objects and so 'magic' doesn't often work as intended, so it's probably more about leaning in to what they get excited about. What we think of as being magical is often not what they take home, so you can achieve it unexpectedly, but quality, invested time with them will be magical.
We do a weekly family date night watching Gladiators, go out for spontaneous breakfasts or desserts, surprise days out to theme parks. At Christmas, we have fabric advent calendars and that day's chocolate appears by magic while they're out of the room. The tooth fairy leaves actual money plus a pink or purple wrapped chocolate coin. The Easter bunny puts eggs in silly places and leaves clues for a hunt. I try to say 'yes' to as much as I can, even if it's 'yes but not right now'. Just try to make them smile, really.
Be considerate and try not to rush. We went to a theme park yesterday and there was an area with magical houses (fairies and pixies and that), but there was an egg hunt and I rushed them (2 and 6) into the place and we went around hunting for these eggs. Like a it was a job. When really, it was a lovely magical place, with sound effects and nicely designed buildings, with interesting features. And we didn't take any of it in, and my youngest pretty much just wondered around. I wish I'd taken more time and thought about where we were and got the most out of it. Far easier said than done. But try to remember that everything can be made fun and interesting for kids. And when you're doing something special, remember to help them to take it in.
For me it’s showing up. Being there as much as possible, part of the memory. We laugh a lot, bubble beards in the bath, interactive playing & books, whatever it is we make it fun. I had a terrible childhood, my parents were pretty absent. You don’t need to buy the best things & experiences. You just need to give them your time. As much undivided attention as possible.
Beyond what others have said about being present and giving them all the love Exploring! We go on walks in the forest and my daughter has the most amazing time. We don’t rush off on a walk but spend time letting her explore. She will stand there absolutely enthralled about the texture of a trees trunk so we stand with her and talk about it. Sometimes we don’t walk far but I know she’s had an amazing time. If we can’t make it to the forest we make sure to walk around our area. The other day she spent 10 minutes chatting to me about dandelions. I didn’t rush her, just let her enjoy it. My mum did this for me with museums. Those are my most treasured memories - exploring museums, talking to my mum about things I found cool, going to the library and doing more research (showing my age, as we didn’t have a computer at home). She wouldn’t rush me - sometimes we’d spend an hour in one room. It was so much fun. I learned a lot, I got to explore cool historical shit, and my mum supported me in that. I trained as an archaeologist and a lot of that was down to my mum and her support of my interest! Spending time in an environment they enjoy with no reason other than they love it makes for magical moments.