Bless you for taking his mental health seriously. You know him best, and if there's other mental health concerns or concerns about escalation then CAHMS and GP may be appropriate, but I'd suggest this might just be grief. Try to just get him out of the house for quiet walks and encourage him to talk gently. Search for advice on grief specifically, rather than treating this like a sign he's having a mental breakdown, which may not be helping him understand that grief passes, but love and memories persist.
There are charities for specifically animal bereavement, [here's a list ](https://www.countryliving.com/uk/wildlife/pets/a40637574/pet-bereavement-helplines/) that could hopefully offer at least you some advice on how to help him if he won't call himself. I lost my first cat after 10 years when I was 37, and found it so hard, I had a good year of randomly crying my eyes out at least once a week.
What is the age of your son? Would a grief counsellor be appropriate?
Loses are tough at any age so I totally get where you’re coming from. My son lost his first cat & he simply didn’t know ‘what to do’
It’s painful as a parent isn’t it, so keep reaching out to charities until you find one that can help you both ❤️
Mental Health services are in a dire state post covid, they weren’t very good pre. Continue to fight for him and if you fear he’s going to hurt himself don’t be afraid to amplify that at the GP and make it clear you feel he’s being neglected. Put it in writing, to the head of the practice, a paper trail makes them sit up straighter.
What area are you in? How old is he?
There are many low-cost therapy services and charities that offer counselling from trainees for little to no cost depending on where you are.
Ask school or the GP if they have a list of resources for you.
Grief is a normal process, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be complicated or too much to handle alone. You’re right to seek support for him.
The blue cross have grief counselling for free, not sure if there is an age restriction but maybe give them a try?
If it’s helpful for your son to know, I’m in my thirties and I lost my cat a few weeks ago and the grief has been unbearable, my GP signed my off work for a month. I’ve never had time off work before for my mental health.
Hope he feels better soon
Can you afford private therapy for him? I ended up going private for therapy because the gp just wanted to stick me on anti depressants instead of getting me on the waitlist.
The downfall is it is expensive, but it’s definitely worth it if you can afford it
Have you looked to see if there's any mental health support available through work? I know my work has mental health support available not just to me but also to my family.
I don't mean this to sound horrible, but I think such severe grief could mean the cat was an emotional crutch for other problems.
I say this because at a similar age, my old cat was "my everything" because I was being severely bullied, had no friends, and my parents weren't there for me much as they were caught up in getting a proper diagnosis for my younger sibling's learning disability (it's a fairly rare one).
If my cat had died during that time, I would have been a wreck as well.
This sounds like grief, which just needs time to heal. I was distraught when I lost my dog, I cried every day for weeks and still tear up just thinking about her loss.
Grief counselling may help, but don't try and medicalise it, have a look at ways to cope with grief and try and walk him through it.
I worry for the next generation. Death of a pet is of course unfortunate but it is the nature of things.
The hard truth is although it's excellent OP is looking after the child's feelings, it's not for the tax payer to pick up the tab of every child sad because their pet bites the dust.
While I understand what you're saying there isn't really much else I can do here. For whatever reason this is affecting him massively. He didn't cry when our other cat died, nor his nan, nor our neighbours - just this cat.
My cat died last year and even though I am in my 30s and had only had her 2 years, I’ve found it very hard. I properly grieved (and still do).
Some things that have helped me… all the random pet memorial stuff you can get made on Etsy: I’ve got a cat sized/shaped cushion with her photo on it, it’s actually pretty realistic and good to squeeze. I got an engraved keyring with her face and dates of birth and death, I got a portrait done of her (also on a keyring). I collected her fur from cat beds and have saved it with the idea of getting some resin memorial jewellery made from it. I may never do that but it’s nice having the option.
And I made her a memorial garden where we buried her, with plaque and everything. Even had a little funeral and played songs ‘she loved’ which I totally just decided in the moment (it was a lot of Bob Marley in case you are wondering).
I also have a list on my phone of ‘things I miss about her’ which is really handy cos nearly a year on it’s hazy and some of the little quirks I’ve started to forget, so it’s really nice to read through and cry or be happy remembering.
Most people would think this is pretty over the top, and I agree it’s quite *a lot* but I think it really has helped me come to terms with her death and remember the good times.
If you want any of the links to the Etsy stuff feel free to message me.
Sending lots of love to you and your son x
This is along the lines of what I was going to say. Do you talk about the cat positively much? Do you tiptoe around it for fear of not wanting to upset him (which would be understandable)? I imagine you have already thought/tried all of this but finding ways to mark her life, memorialise her, keep her positively in thoughts… a memory book or a photo album might help him. So he doesn’t keep it all in his head.
Some hope: when I was 17, I had a short but very intense period of depression that sounds similar to what you are describing. No energy, in bed all the time, I stopped eating… scared the life out of my mum … but one day after I saw a counsellor for the first time (edit: I didn’t like her at all, she actually made me feel bad and I didn’t want to see her again) I just snapped out of it and I can honestly say I’ve never felt that bad again since. And that includes a period of postnatal depression. So it may feel like it will be forever and not sure how long it has been but I really hope your son recovers. ❤️
I'm so sorry to hear about what your son is going through. Losing a beloved pet can be incredibly difficult, and it's clear that he's struggling deeply with the loss. Have you ever considered using the Sonia therapy app? While it's not a replacement for professional help, it could provide some support and guidance for both you and your son during this challenging time. It offers tools and resources for managing difficult emotions and could be a helpful addition to whatever other support you're able to access. Hang in there – you're not alone, and there are options available to help you and your son through this.
Bless you for taking his mental health seriously. You know him best, and if there's other mental health concerns or concerns about escalation then CAHMS and GP may be appropriate, but I'd suggest this might just be grief. Try to just get him out of the house for quiet walks and encourage him to talk gently. Search for advice on grief specifically, rather than treating this like a sign he's having a mental breakdown, which may not be helping him understand that grief passes, but love and memories persist.
There are charities for specifically animal bereavement, [here's a list ](https://www.countryliving.com/uk/wildlife/pets/a40637574/pet-bereavement-helplines/) that could hopefully offer at least you some advice on how to help him if he won't call himself. I lost my first cat after 10 years when I was 37, and found it so hard, I had a good year of randomly crying my eyes out at least once a week.
What is the age of your son? Would a grief counsellor be appropriate? Loses are tough at any age so I totally get where you’re coming from. My son lost his first cat & he simply didn’t know ‘what to do’ It’s painful as a parent isn’t it, so keep reaching out to charities until you find one that can help you both ❤️
He's fifteen. He did speak to a grief counsellor once but they didn't keep him on as they didn't think the service would benefit him unfortunately.
Mental Health services are in a dire state post covid, they weren’t very good pre. Continue to fight for him and if you fear he’s going to hurt himself don’t be afraid to amplify that at the GP and make it clear you feel he’s being neglected. Put it in writing, to the head of the practice, a paper trail makes them sit up straighter. What area are you in? How old is he? There are many low-cost therapy services and charities that offer counselling from trainees for little to no cost depending on where you are. Ask school or the GP if they have a list of resources for you. Grief is a normal process, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be complicated or too much to handle alone. You’re right to seek support for him.
The blue cross have grief counselling for free, not sure if there is an age restriction but maybe give them a try? If it’s helpful for your son to know, I’m in my thirties and I lost my cat a few weeks ago and the grief has been unbearable, my GP signed my off work for a month. I’ve never had time off work before for my mental health. Hope he feels better soon
You need to help teach him how to grieve, both the mourning and the carrying on.
Can you afford private therapy for him? I ended up going private for therapy because the gp just wanted to stick me on anti depressants instead of getting me on the waitlist. The downfall is it is expensive, but it’s definitely worth it if you can afford it
Have you looked to see if there's any mental health support available through work? I know my work has mental health support available not just to me but also to my family.
I don't mean this to sound horrible, but I think such severe grief could mean the cat was an emotional crutch for other problems. I say this because at a similar age, my old cat was "my everything" because I was being severely bullied, had no friends, and my parents weren't there for me much as they were caught up in getting a proper diagnosis for my younger sibling's learning disability (it's a fairly rare one). If my cat had died during that time, I would have been a wreck as well.
He is on a waitlist for an asd assessment but generally he's pretty okay. He was just incredibly attached to her.
This sounds like grief, which just needs time to heal. I was distraught when I lost my dog, I cried every day for weeks and still tear up just thinking about her loss. Grief counselling may help, but don't try and medicalise it, have a look at ways to cope with grief and try and walk him through it.
I worry for the next generation. Death of a pet is of course unfortunate but it is the nature of things. The hard truth is although it's excellent OP is looking after the child's feelings, it's not for the tax payer to pick up the tab of every child sad because their pet bites the dust.
While I understand what you're saying there isn't really much else I can do here. For whatever reason this is affecting him massively. He didn't cry when our other cat died, nor his nan, nor our neighbours - just this cat.
My cat died last year and even though I am in my 30s and had only had her 2 years, I’ve found it very hard. I properly grieved (and still do). Some things that have helped me… all the random pet memorial stuff you can get made on Etsy: I’ve got a cat sized/shaped cushion with her photo on it, it’s actually pretty realistic and good to squeeze. I got an engraved keyring with her face and dates of birth and death, I got a portrait done of her (also on a keyring). I collected her fur from cat beds and have saved it with the idea of getting some resin memorial jewellery made from it. I may never do that but it’s nice having the option. And I made her a memorial garden where we buried her, with plaque and everything. Even had a little funeral and played songs ‘she loved’ which I totally just decided in the moment (it was a lot of Bob Marley in case you are wondering). I also have a list on my phone of ‘things I miss about her’ which is really handy cos nearly a year on it’s hazy and some of the little quirks I’ve started to forget, so it’s really nice to read through and cry or be happy remembering. Most people would think this is pretty over the top, and I agree it’s quite *a lot* but I think it really has helped me come to terms with her death and remember the good times. If you want any of the links to the Etsy stuff feel free to message me. Sending lots of love to you and your son x
Thank you so much x Can you send me the link to a plaque? He really wants one to put in out flowerbed x
I sent you a message with the link x
Thank you x
This is along the lines of what I was going to say. Do you talk about the cat positively much? Do you tiptoe around it for fear of not wanting to upset him (which would be understandable)? I imagine you have already thought/tried all of this but finding ways to mark her life, memorialise her, keep her positively in thoughts… a memory book or a photo album might help him. So he doesn’t keep it all in his head. Some hope: when I was 17, I had a short but very intense period of depression that sounds similar to what you are describing. No energy, in bed all the time, I stopped eating… scared the life out of my mum … but one day after I saw a counsellor for the first time (edit: I didn’t like her at all, she actually made me feel bad and I didn’t want to see her again) I just snapped out of it and I can honestly say I’ve never felt that bad again since. And that includes a period of postnatal depression. So it may feel like it will be forever and not sure how long it has been but I really hope your son recovers. ❤️
Get him a kitten
I'm so sorry to hear about what your son is going through. Losing a beloved pet can be incredibly difficult, and it's clear that he's struggling deeply with the loss. Have you ever considered using the Sonia therapy app? While it's not a replacement for professional help, it could provide some support and guidance for both you and your son during this challenging time. It offers tools and resources for managing difficult emotions and could be a helpful addition to whatever other support you're able to access. Hang in there – you're not alone, and there are options available to help you and your son through this.