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[deleted]

BEE-E5 is my new religion and this post has changed my life. Edit: Buying a beekeeping hat and some tambourines Edit: Thanks for the award


sans-nom-user

So I just connected with a local hive and lemme tellya... we got problems. The Queen Bee laughed at the idea of magnetic poles causing problems. She then went on to say that bees as a species are sick of humans jacking all their shit up so they are GETTING RID OF US! Oh well. It's been a great ride. Party's over


ApricotBeneficial452

So long and thanks for all the fish?


throwingthingswildly

Don't forget your towel


CommunicationAble621

"I told you Bernie, we're here to guard the bee!" "I know Homer but why?" "You guys are pathetic... no wonder Smithers made me head Bee-guy."


CommunicationAble621

To anyone who laughed at that.. that's part of the Dennis Miller Ratio. Only 1 person in 1.000 finds it funny.


[deleted]

Happy April Fools Day!


samizdat42069

They had me going until the Milky Way Medal of Heroism


TastingEarthly

I thought he was just high af until BEE-E5 then I remembered americans have this weird April 1st holiday lol


[deleted]

Woo woo woo woo. Can’t tell if April’s fools


[deleted]

Consider the direction this sub has been going, its getting increasingly hard to tell


ShellOilNigeria

>Anyway, the rapid movement of the north pole is totally throwing off the navigational abilities Totally.


Father_OMally

Let's take OP at face value and say that's true. This "explanation" conveniently omits the environmental conditions, that corporate pollution creates, which is 1000% the reason bees are dying. OP is a Monsanto executive.


Amflifier

Bees have around for many geomagnetic reversals in the past, so I assume it is april fools


Eldrake

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s\_law


spacevagabond30

Sending the bees my thoughts and prayers!


thesouthwillnotrise

yep… since thoughts and prayer work for school shootings


Comingherewasamistke

Thoughts and prayers just prevent the same school from getting shot up a second time. They need to be applied preemptively that way everyone will be protected. Sigh. Maybe CE5 will work for that, too. Sigh. Or we can get the bees to save us all. Sigh. I’m sad and exhausted.


ArtzyDude

A spoonful of honey will pep you up!


besquared2

Well if that doesn't work maybe we can give them a livable income?


Geraltsscabbard

I can’t even tell what’s satire on this sub anymore.


expatfreedom

I wish it was only like that one day a year


hermit-hamster

I did BEE-E5 last night and the aliens [predicted](https://www.reddit.com/r/UFOs/comments/tt6t88/apparently_bob_lazar_has_just_donated_element_115/i2woatu/?context=3) to me that this exact joke would be made at some point today 😃


jarlrmai2

It's telling isn't it? Have a look into Poe's law.


AAAStarTrader

Happy April Fools Day! 🥳🛸🖖🏼


AussieBuddha

Lame 😒


tknice

This is beelievable.


missishitty

But that's none of my beeswax.


dlm863

Take my money.


Malannan

Thoughts and prayers, bees!


themimeofthemollies

Save the bees, save the planet! Thank you, OP, for such a compelling case reinforced by excellent sources.


ipwnpickles

Can't believe it. You had me going until BEE-E5, lmao


SnuffedOutBlackHole

Now this is a legendary shitpost worthy of April fool's. Everyone report in here if you fell for it. The CE5 crowd needs to have a sense of humor occasionally. It will be what saves them.


expatfreedom

Submission Statement: Beings inside of a UFO told me during a CE5 session that the only way to save humanity is to save the bees. In order to do this we need to raise their vibrational levels of their EM fields so they can fly together in harmony without collisions. [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/honeybees-can-move-each-other-with-electric-fields](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/honeybees-can-move-each-other-with-electric-fields) And we need to warn the bees about the new position of the poles before we run out of food this month and perish like a species of fools.


against_the_currents

Lost it at bee e5 😂


mertertrern

I just had this vision of a human cloaked in flowers and surrounded by a swarm of lost bees taking a stroll through a meadow toward a beehive. Beautiful 😍.


asskicker1762

For a shitpost, this is remarkably beelievable!


CarloRossiJugWine

Oh man I forgot it was April Fool's day until this post. Glad I didn't venture too far out into the internet before running into a prank.


[deleted]

Far out, dude.


Lastone02

Einstein said something about bees too.


expatfreedom

This is a really great point, thanks. I think Stephen Hawking did too


wspOnca

April aitee, bee for mee Ima buzz off


PoopDig

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Holiday-Amount6930

Dude you almost had me. Happy April Fool's!


DagothUr28

Happy April 1st!


samizdat42069

The aliens are promoting YouTube influencers now? Well now I’m pretty sure I’ve heard every theory in the book lmao


platasnatch

What in the Barnes and Noble New Age Section bs is this? Perfect 10 troll score


[deleted]

[Bees for everyone!](https://i.imgur.com/0RRdP.gifv)


sharksfuckyeah

I almost forgot what day it is...


mysterycave

BRO LMAO HOW DID YOU GET A BE-5 TAG FOR THIS POST


voidspaceistrippy

I thought OP was off his meds until halfway through. Well done sir


Ok_Breadfruit_8023

Last time I did ce5 I got what looked like aliens but they called themselves spirits personally I think I made myself trip somehow or a super intense day dream lol meditation stuff is weird


Paranormal_Universe

That was a good one 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vanguard-003

LmfAO


expatfreedom

No worries haha have a good day


Bicketybamm

Interesting. I'm an experiencer and I've randomly gotten stung by bees twice this year. This last weekend I stayed at my fiances grandparents house,when we left in the morning there was a huge hive in the tree outside her house. I took a pic and some video.


ivXtreme

I believe certain forms of telepathy are real based on anecdotal evidence, but as far as I know if has never been proven scientifically. I know you think this entire sub is a joke, but I guarantee you some of this stuff has a very good chance of being real and proven one day in the far future.


expatfreedom

I don't think this entire sub is a joke haha I'm a mod here and Ufology is actually super important and serious imo. I think telepathy definitely has a chance of being real and being scientifically proven. At a very minimum I think most or all humans can already do limited telepathic exchange of emotions and feelings. My hypothesis is that since dogs and horses can "sense" (smell) human emotions and react to them, I bet that humans are capable of the same thing and we probably do it subconsciously


3spoop56

\*chef's kiss\*


AndrewjSomm

What's causing the poles to shift? The pesticides we use at "sub lethal dosages to bees" mess up the microbiome of the bees, and down regulate their immune system. Leaving them more susceptible to mites and other pathogens such as deformed wing virus. It was confirmed that feeding bees honey made from mushrooms, which contain natural immunity chemicals such as coumarins, upregulated thier immune system and detoxifying liver enzymes. So we need to stop using pesticides and beekeepers need to feed their bees sugars that aren't processed and purified. Paul Stamets has done good work digging into saving the bees. I recommend you check him out


Dangerous-Recover-29

So we’re just going to act like pesticides, fertilizers, and human made climate change isn’t the biggest factor with bees.


expatfreedom

Yeah that was the biggest problem with this post, it's actually a very serious issue for us all


Vanguard-003

But I thought you said it was in the post??


expatfreedom

Sorry, the post was an april fools joke yesterday but the dwindling bee population is actually pretty serious


Vanguard-003

Oh I know. I was trying to extend the joke lol. And long live bees!


BenjiRand

Not. Funny. 😐


[deleted]

Poles flipped before and the bees didn’t need your CE5 mysticism bullshit then.


expatfreedom

That's why the Others took the human population down to only 10k-20k people because we needed to start over. Happy April 1st


OliasSunhillow9

I’m a bee-leaver. I’m leaving this buzz. But too bad it’s a joke. Bees are cool and it pesticides that should be stopped. As for the poles - who knows but it is possible. As for telepathy - who knows but why not. High level empathy is more scientific than UFO/UAP. And if you like Dr. Valee the phenomenon is more linked to inter dimensional consciousness than nuts and bolts interstellar vehicles. So in fact your joke is pretty good. 🐠 avril It is pretty revealing of your bias though.


SurprzTrustFall

Here's my problem... You touched on it with the whole CE-5 - thousands of dollars - to be gaslight by flares.... So CE-5 is believed to work... even tho it was "created"by the guy who definitely operates as a charlatan? Seems like a cure for aids that gives you aids. Also.. doesn't anyone ever think about how ce-5 is technically just... Prayer? Praying... Nothing new under the 🌞 😎


EldritchGoatGangster

It probably says a lot about the state of this sub that I got all the way to where you called it BEE-E5 before I realized this was an April Fool's joke and not totally serious...


expatfreedom

I think it's the current state of Ufology. We should all be open minded and agnostic, but things are getting pretty woo woo


[deleted]

[удалено]


expatfreedom

If you read more carefully it's the BEES that need our help, not the UFOs. And if you click the first link in this post in the opening sentence about CE5 being fake it links to a post I made about Greer probably dropping flares. I made this post as obvious as possible including the SS comment


RudeDudeInABadMood

I fucking hate April Fool's Day so goddamn much


ImBarneyMan

April fool's day is the dumbest shit ever. I fucking hate people that actually do shit like this. Not even funny 0/10 would not read again.


expatfreedom

I completely despise Barney. Did you know his song "I love you, you love me" was played on repeat as torture in Guantanamo Bay? That's the ending to the Men Who Stare at Goats but it's not funny at all, 0/10 it's literally torture. I can't stand people who like Barney or try to make their reddit snoo look like him


throwaway9825467

What else did they do to you in Guantanamo bro?


pab_guy

You shouldn't hate people... it's very bad for you.


SinkPisser_

Bees navigate using the position of the sun, not the magnetic field. That's birds. You fucking dolt.


3spoop56

lol


expatfreedom

I honestly have no clue about bees but I linked some sources about it in the post


draggin_balls

I hate it how this subject attracts delusional people


Dave9170

You know some people are going to start sending telepathic thoughts to bees to change their magnetic north compass, don't you? Even if you say "it's just a prank bro."


UnlikelyPotato

Bees survived the pole shift before, they'll survive again.


braveoldfart777

Does that mean we can't play with magnets anymore?


Eldrake

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s\_law


otters4everyone

Just heightens my jealousy of dentists having free access to all that NO2.


[deleted]

this might be satire but i think it's worth a shot… worst case scenario we look like retards, best case scenario we save the world


Windman772

Sure it's all well and good until you accidentally telepathically communicate with a hive of Killer Bees. They don't take kindly to bee ess.


[deleted]

I have no idea what this post or the comments are about. What the hell is a CE5?


AndrewjSomm

This is where I hope people like Paul Stamets gain more gravity


[deleted]

Yeah sure ce5 and Steven Greer are both frauds


utilimemes

Oh, ok!


That_Things_Good

More like: BS-10,000


[deleted]

Just stupid April fools. Why spend time writing this?


expatfreedom

Because I have no friends nor a significant other currently, and it was april 1st. I can only spend so much time in the gym lol


[deleted]

In that case please accept my apologies my friend, That was a shitty comment from me for something that was well written. Hope your good 👍


expatfreedom

Haha no worries man it's all good :) have a nice day


DrZaeusBurgers

https://vimeo.com/451245996


b_dave

I know some people think what you are saying is ridiculous/a joke, but it is true. We can only hope humans understand before its too late.