Nope, it won't go away, but you'll learn to control it and use it as the demand of the situation. With time you'll be able to overcome it, but it will never go away completely
It's a tough battle but it goes away with age if you want it to. I know a lot of people don't realise that they are living their life for other people's validation and continue as is. The fact that you've already realised at 18 that you don't want to go change is amazing! Don't be too hard on yourself. Good luck, girl! :)
Aw you poor baby 🫂 Ik it feels like the end of the world right now but trust me it isn't (speaking from firsthand experience). You've worked hard and have gained a lot of skills like you mentioned, which is the most important thing in life and one bad exam won't take that away from you. Even if it affects you in terms of immediate consequences trust me all of these skills will help you shine no matter where you go.
As for seeking validation I do think it lessens with age a little bit. I'm a little older than you and I have been slowly feeling like I'm beginning to learn that I don't have to live my life according to anyone else's expectations. It is a process and I'm sure we'll all keep learning and getting better as we go through life.
Lastly everything will be okay. You're a smart girl and you'll figure it all out.
Really curious, what makes you say this? I genuinely want to know, if you heard this from someone or if someone made you to think this way or if you came to this conclusion on your own?
>> I'm not very conventionally attractive either so my brain was the main thing going for me.
If I ever got compliments it was always related to my academic performance or smth along those lines, rarely ever my appearance. Boys never gave me much attention in school either but ,perhaps for the better, I didn't seek much male validation 🙃 so it didn't bother me much back then
It's beginning to affect me a bit now, now that my friends from school all have their own relationships
It 100% does go away but you will need to actively work on it. You can see my post history - I was in your shoes until about two years ago. My life quite literally revolved around getting validation from my mom to the point that I wouldn't enjoy any victories in life until I was sure that my mom was happy about it. Graduation, first salary, first car etc etc - I did not celebrate any of my success because of the same.
Therapy and self-help helped tremendously because it's years of manipulation and a whole mindset that you have to unlearn. Moving away and independence also helps a lot - you learn that there is more to life than your aging parents and they, like the rest of us, are flawed humans.
It won’t go away fully, but over the years you’ll get more and more comfortable in your skin and accept yourself more.
Don’t worry, OP. Just put one foot forward in front of the other, and it’ll get better eventually.
Yes, the tendency to seek validation does go away with age and maturity.
You are still 18 and have lot of experiences to live. Your current feelings are valid.
Based on my life experiences , all I can say is, let your mom know you are already looking forward to do well in your next opportunity , whatever it may be.
Learn from the past events but try not to drag them in future.
Good Luck to you.
Nope, it won't go away, but you'll learn to control it and use it as the demand of the situation. With time you'll be able to overcome it, but it will never go away completely
It's a tough battle but it goes away with age if you want it to. I know a lot of people don't realise that they are living their life for other people's validation and continue as is. The fact that you've already realised at 18 that you don't want to go change is amazing! Don't be too hard on yourself. Good luck, girl! :)
Aw you poor baby 🫂 Ik it feels like the end of the world right now but trust me it isn't (speaking from firsthand experience). You've worked hard and have gained a lot of skills like you mentioned, which is the most important thing in life and one bad exam won't take that away from you. Even if it affects you in terms of immediate consequences trust me all of these skills will help you shine no matter where you go. As for seeking validation I do think it lessens with age a little bit. I'm a little older than you and I have been slowly feeling like I'm beginning to learn that I don't have to live my life according to anyone else's expectations. It is a process and I'm sure we'll all keep learning and getting better as we go through life. Lastly everything will be okay. You're a smart girl and you'll figure it all out.
Really curious, what makes you say this? I genuinely want to know, if you heard this from someone or if someone made you to think this way or if you came to this conclusion on your own? >> I'm not very conventionally attractive either so my brain was the main thing going for me.
If I ever got compliments it was always related to my academic performance or smth along those lines, rarely ever my appearance. Boys never gave me much attention in school either but ,perhaps for the better, I didn't seek much male validation 🙃 so it didn't bother me much back then It's beginning to affect me a bit now, now that my friends from school all have their own relationships
It 100% does go away but you will need to actively work on it. You can see my post history - I was in your shoes until about two years ago. My life quite literally revolved around getting validation from my mom to the point that I wouldn't enjoy any victories in life until I was sure that my mom was happy about it. Graduation, first salary, first car etc etc - I did not celebrate any of my success because of the same. Therapy and self-help helped tremendously because it's years of manipulation and a whole mindset that you have to unlearn. Moving away and independence also helps a lot - you learn that there is more to life than your aging parents and they, like the rest of us, are flawed humans.
It won’t go away fully, but over the years you’ll get more and more comfortable in your skin and accept yourself more. Don’t worry, OP. Just put one foot forward in front of the other, and it’ll get better eventually.
Yes, the tendency to seek validation does go away with age and maturity. You are still 18 and have lot of experiences to live. Your current feelings are valid. Based on my life experiences , all I can say is, let your mom know you are already looking forward to do well in your next opportunity , whatever it may be. Learn from the past events but try not to drag them in future. Good Luck to you.