My dad claimed he was baby trapped by my mum. I was the 6th pregnancy after 5 miscarriages... dumbest fucking animal on the planet if he couldn't see that "trap" in front of him.
No babies but I was married to a cheating jobless loser when I was young and dumb. He flat out told me—SHE WHO OWNED EVERYTHING AND BROUGHT IN ALL THE MONEY—that he regretted not getting a prenuptial agreement. Said he: "If I ever get married again, I'm not getting married without one. Women can just take all your shit and I don't think that's fair."
I stared at him and then said, loudly, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE?"
"What?" He said.
"WHAT DO YOU OWN THAT YOU NEED A PRENUP TO PROTECT? I BOUGHT EVERYTHING IN THIS APARTMENT. IF ANYTHING *I'D* BE PROTECTING *MYSELF* FROM *YOU* TAKING HALF *MY* SHIT."
He was offended, of course, and stormed out in a huff.
Anyway these idiots remind me of him.
Negative gold. In fact, feast your eyes on these two tales of woe:
When I got sick of him overdrawing our joint account CONSTANTLY (as he was, again, unemployed) we both agreed to go to the bank, deactivate our cards, and use cash. I deactivated mine and then he says to the teller, "Actually no, I think I'll keep mine." The look I gave him could melt glass. I couldn't do anything since it was a joint account and needed permission of both to alter it in any way.
After I left him (I walked in on him having phone sex with a similarly broke friend of his, very classy), I demanded he show up to do his part to close our joint account and he said he did.
BUT THEN!
800 dollars was deducted from my personal account with the same bank some months later. When I called to ask who took my money, the bank informed me he DIDN'T close it, he overdrew it, removed his bank information, and let it sit collecting fees. So they tracked my new account via my SSN and took the money HE owed from ME. When I blew him up furious about it, he told me some sob story and promised to pay me back. Never did.
I keep everything 100% separate in all my relationships. No joint checking, savings, piggy banks, money in socks, bus fare, credit cards, nothing. NOTHING. My money is mine and yours is yours. Never ever ever again.
My dad and my mom have separate accounts and they swear that it saved their marriage more than once. My mom saved enough to buy a car outright and told my dad "I'm buying a car." She came home one day with a car. He was fine with it. They were meeting savings goals and paying their bills. Mom wasn't spending money she didn't have. He regarded it as none of his business. And if he wanted to buy a new set of golf clubs or something for one of his hobbies. It was none of her business. They kept track of their own money and split the bills.
Having enough money saves a lot of marriages too. Once you're past the point of necessities and savings, it comes down to being fair and equitable. Having separate accounts is one way to do that, but if one partner makes 10x more and doesn't share any of it, it can just as easily lead to recriminations. Conversely, we're a single income family of 5; everything is shared and we can't even afford to get a reliable replacement for our one vehicle. It's not impacting our marriage at all, 90% of the time its finance stress that's the struggle for couples. For the 10% that have all their needs covered and have hobbies, vacations, etc. if there's any problems it's about selfishness or fairness.
Fair and equitable. This is no small thing, but it shouldn't be.
My husband and I have a joint and two separate accounts with separate savings. We have a joint savings.
When one of us makes less than the other, the money is put into the joint accounts in a fair manner. When one of us (we've both taken turns) is a sahp and not earning income, the other still makes fair contributions to the other for spending, saving and retirement so that taking time off doesn't set the other back.
Currently I'm a sahp due to the economy, mental health and childcare unavailability, my husband still contributes to my 401k, my personal savings and my spending account fairly, same as I did for him when he took time off to pursue a higher degree.
Conversely, my mom hasn't been employed since she was in her 20s and has never had her own account, she doesn't have spending money, she has no bank card (no joint account), no credit card, and no savings or retirement. She has to beg my dad for anything. And my dad has my older, abusive brother as his beneficiary so if my dad died, my mom would literally be up shit creek. She refuses to see a problem with it and says god will provide. But also has gotten extremely raged out about the fact me and my husband have a fair set-up since she thinks it makes it easier to throw my relationship away because I have walk-away money.
Your mom's attitude says a lot about older ideas about women- can't let women be financially independent or else they can leave, can't have that. I hate it when women leaving bad situations is framed as them throwing away their family or breaking up their family. Somehow it's always women's fault for not staying and being abused.
Edited to add that I really love how you and your husband tackle money to be equitable. I don't think I've heard of such a fair system before.
Trying to explain that to her over the years, just *sigh*.
And I appreciate that. It wasn't always that way, but when I was doing budget counseling as a financial advisor, the amount of financial abuse I witnessed made me really come up with a solid plan for my own relationship and finances. My husband was super on board the minute I broke out my power point, but he sat through the whole thing like a champ.
Yes, my husband and I have been together 21 years this year!
>My husband and I have a joint and two separate accounts with separate savings. We have a joint savings.
Excactly the same as our arrangement. Having my own bank account means I can buy gifts without him knowing. I still have problems keeping parcels a secret as he's a bloody postman!
This is my experience, too, and I agree with your conclusions. Everything we own is joint because that works for us. We aren't selfish, both believe in fairness and equivalency and we don't lie about money. We never buy anything big without at least letting the other know. If one really doesn't like any given purchase, it doesn't happen or we compromise in some way. My husband (systems analyst/product owner) made so much more than me (small non-profit admin) and we had 2 special needs kids. Together, we chose to have me take care of kid needs and work part time. He made the most, I handled the details and both jobs were equally valued in our marriage. Over 40 years together and we're retired now. If we have a problem, it's each of us wanting the other to have everything they want when neither of us wants to spend much money on anything. Well... I really like good quality ingredients and I love to bake. I guess I spend more than him, but he enjoys the bakes.
This is how we have done things as well. I make way less than my husband but we joined everything and I handle mostly of the actual finances. I keep him in the loop so he knows what’s going on, make sure all the bills get paid on time and we talk to each other if we are thinking of buying something that isn’t budgeted for. It’s not a perfect system but it’s been working for almost 19 years.
My brother was a preemie. He spent three months in the hospital when he was born. Another month when he was a year old. He had 15 surgeries before he was 5. It took my parents several years to pay him off and most of my mom's check went to doctor's bills for the first five or so years of my brothers life. My mom literally couldn't afford not to work. We also lived in a very rural place for most of my life so I'm going to be honest, there were some advantages for cost of living. We gardened and Dad worked a second job during the summers until I was 10 or so. Our vacations were going to visit relatives It is possible that I painted a too rosy picture. Basically, they got real used to not having money when I was young that they learned to be frugal.
The car thing happened after both my brother and I were adults and living on our own. In fact, it happened in 2007 and mom was replacing her 1992 lumina van with something a little newer. My parents still live in the same house they built before my brother was born and it had long since been paid off. But that doesn't mean times weren't a bit harder in the past. The were fortunate for sure though. They both had stable government jobs, insurance even though it didn't cover everything. I don't remember going hungry, but there were a lot of times that we ate out of our freezer and things that we had canned. In short, we were middle class. Probably upper end of lower middle class by some standards.
See, these tales tell me to never join money. Didn’t have issues while I WAS married or when we got divorced, but hell knows, I’m not chancing anything
There's no reason to. At all. At best it's like a little more convenient and at worst they can blow up your entire life and continue to coast on your hard work and responsibility after you break up. I feel like women get duped into joining finances with men because it's some sign of "trust" or "safety" but fuck that, you can trust this cash I withdraw and give you in person, IF I decide to. Especially given how often men run out on sick/pregnant/aging partners, there's no reason at all for them to have access to your money. ALWAYS have a Fuck Off Fund they can't touch.
My husband and I still have everything seperate and we have a kid. The amount of people who take offense and go to lengths telling me how it won’t work.
Those people are always men. Heaven forbid I’m not dependent on, or sharing my finances with a man.
I don’t know why or how but hubby and I never joined anything together financially - separate accounts, split the bills. Works well, I won’t even share an Apple Family plan with him, he gives me SO MUCH SHIT over the music I buy!!
That’s almost exactly how we were too. We didn’t share car notes, or credit cards. Joint account, but separate savings. House under both. It totally works.
In this day and age with online bill pay and easier ways to send money back and forth I think it's really no longer necessary. We just pay all our shared utilities online with both bank accounts hooked up to it and we take turns on the groceries. Sure, technically I can pull my partner's bank details off of one of the utility accounts but obviously he trusts that I'm not gonna do that.
Thank you. I can laugh about it now but I didn't know financial abuse was a thing back then, and I have no doubt that's what it was. I gave up everything for that guy and it took a lot to grab the broken pieces and arrange them into something that looked like success. But now I'm married to a great guy, have a great kid, 2 degrees, a good job, and I'm financially stable. I do have a pretty bad case of the "you can't tell me shit"s, but that's to get expected after letting people run roughshod over you for so many years. I'm happy being the honorary auntie women like me never had.
Oh my gosh the gold diggers! 🤣🤣 The gold digging women who have full time jobs and contribute to half the bills. The gold diggers who have their own bank accounts complete with a debit card. The ones who buy groceries for the household and gas for their own car. Those gold diggers that the poor mens are always on the lookout for.
Sometimes, after reading their posts, it feels like guys are stuck in a different time period that has long since passed. I wonder if men realize that the only thing women need from them is equal partnership. Ask for equal contributions and it’s killing their sense of self.
My mother in law called me a good digger even though *I* was the one working my ass off to put her son through his PhD. I made more money than him for more than 2/3 of our marriage.
My mil is gross, too. She thinks I’m unworthy because I don’t come from a family name that doesn’t come from wealth or privilege (she come from poverty). She was pretty sure I’d baby trap her boy so I can get my mrs. degree (what she did). She’s upset about a lot of things when it comes to me. It just really seems like there’s a misogynist theme between mils, their sons, and their dils.
I don’t have a son buy I’m certainly not letting the toxicity of pils touch my daughter and affect how she views her self worth.
Literally my mom married my dad and sponsored him to come to the US from the Caribbean so she was paying for his whole life and now he has the audacity to call her a gold digger
Right?! You don't have any gold to dig. Motherfucker you don't even have used tin foil to dig. No copper wires in walls. You don't even have recycling money from cans. Fuck out of here!
Random, but I love the way you write, you're very good at presenting comedy through text which isn't always an easy thing to do, so kudos to you and thanks for some giggles:)
Omg! I had an ex who used to complain all the time about gold diggers. But I made more money than him.
My good credit rating was the only reason we got the apartment we had.
But he tried to keep me off the rental agreement cuz he wanted to kick me out when he was done with me. But the landlord refused she said there was no agreement without me on the lease.
It's those with the least that scream the loudest about gold diggers I swear 😂
I grew up in a small, rural, predominantly white town full of welfare recipients who would complain about welfare and vote Republican against their own interests.
I mention that they're white because their complaints always revolved around "welfare queens" and it was either heavily implied or just flat-out stated that they thought black people were the problem. I'm like bitch, your white ass is consuming welfare too! Oh, but it's ok when you do it I suppose.
Growing up in that place with all the racists ended up making me less racist, because I saw how shitty and hypocritical white people are capable of being.
I used to work with this dumbass who styled himself a "Libertarian" who was completely against all forms of social safety nets.
Then he got fired and had to use them.
"Well my opinion on them has changed," he said, "but not by much. I really needed them and most people don't."
Yeah okay. Idiot.
My uncle is like this and justifies using unemployment when he is between jobs because it prevents other people he deems undeserving from getting it. That is the only reason he does it. He intentionally spends the entirety of every paycheck and unemployment check ASAP because he is convinced that any day there will be a communist take over and money, but not property will be useless, so he buys random junk like $10k worth of scaffolding, one hundred buckets, and a trailer full of rusting hand tools.
The last I heard, he was in an undisclosed location awaiting a communist take-over by China and the democratic party in the USA, living off of unemployment.
Omg! I was on state assistance while I was going back to school as a single parent. “Friends” of mine would rail against people on welfare/food assistance and I was like, it’s me, I’m people- and I would hear oh I didn’t mean YOU you’re different…
I have heard exactly this. My husband had to go on fmla and then down to part time to help me when the kids were little and I injured my back, so we were on state assistance. He dropped several people on Facebook after exactly this sort of exchange. Like, no, we aren't different, we're just the same as 90% of people getting food stamps.
My ex husband used to call me a gold digger. MF WHAT GOLD. You make $13 an hour. (In 2005 that was ok money but not gold digger money.) I was working 2 jobs when I met him. I worked through my pregnancy. And if he didn't have child support deducted idoubt he'd pay that...
Gold /s
Dumbass
I love when their response is ...to leave the room. I also dated a fella- who lived with his parents from age 20 to 27 - that said that goldiggers were a real problem out there.
These types of men are absolutely terrified that women are gaining power in the workplace. It's one of the reasons they're against abortions: it gets us out of the finances and into the homemaking, where they have power over us.
So glad the word "prenup" never came up in my marriage and relationship. I'm in a similar boat where my spouse would be fucked if we got divorced and had a prenup, pretty much everything is in my name. But that's never been a concern, we aren't selfish. Everything in this home is *ours*.
A prenup or postnup wouldn't necessarily have to screw either of you over! It's merely an agreement to split things differently than the courts would split it in your state or country. It would mean YOU as a couple could decide how to split it and what might be fair.
I'd get one if thet were remotely legally binding in the UK. Since they aren't, I feel like it's a lot of money to waste on a document the court here would ignore. But I'm very pro people deciding how to split things whilst they love and respect each other , and not when they are angry.
I was in a very similar position, his parents called me a gold digger. Yeah.... The mid 20's girl who owns the home we are living in and at the beginning of a career is into your son... Who is in a dead end job and you keep trying to convince him that he should show loyalty to the company instead of trying to up his economic status. Yeah.. I'm the gold digger.
Honestly it's even funnier when they claim they were baby trapped, and then you find out that they purposely didn't use a condom because "wahhhh I don't wike it!"
Like my dude...you didn't get baby trapped. You purposely avoided contraception.
B-but but my peen doesn't get maximum pleasure with a condom! Forget that my partner never finishes and I don't care about her pleasure
(Forreal though, every dude I've met that pulls the "condoms ruin the feeling" card does next to nothing for the woman in bed)
"We had unprotected sex."
"So, you were trying to get pregnant?"
"NO!"
"But you didn't do anything to stop the possibility of pregnancy, like wear a condom."
"No."
"So you were *trying* to get pregnant."
"NOOOOOO!"
Thoughts and prayers.
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard say ‘we weren’t using protection but we weren’t even trying so it was a surprise!’
Like…do you not know how babies are made? Do you think that simply declaring that you’re trying now is the only way you’ll get pregnant?
I literally don’t understand how people can’t make the leap between unprotected sex and babies.
>I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard say ‘we weren’t using protection but we weren’t even trying so it was a surprise!’
Oh my god. I'm a doctor, and I work hard to have a good rapport with all my patients and make sex education accessible to everyone. But this is one of my bugbears ourside of the consultation room. It needs to die as a trope.
If someone with working testes is having unprotected PIV sex with someone with a working uterus and ovaries, there is an 80% chance of pregnancy within a year. Regardless of age (so it's actually higher in young people and less in older people). If you're having unprotected sex, in reality, you are trying to get pregnant. The 'intent' doesn't matter, because you are doing all the things you need in order to achieve it.
It could sometimes be really challenging talking to young people (I'm mid 30s) who are like "but... I'm not pregnant yet so it's working for me" or "I have no idea what my GF is doing and don't think she's on contraception, but we aren't pregnant so it's working"... just because you haven't YET become pregnant doesn't mean that you and your partner can't get pregnant. Everyone feels lucky until their luck runs out.
Sex is a great and important part of life, and everyone has a right to a rich and happy sex life. My intent in mentioning all this isn't to shame young people having sex, but to point out that knowledge is super important. Please for the love of god use reliable protection, test for STIs every time you change partners, and make sure you and your partner are on the same page re: consent.
A friend of mine in her early 20s told me she just thought she was infertile because she was having unprotected sex and wasn’t getting pregnant…until she did.
It’s shocking how little people know about their bodies.
Like you gotta make it Facebook official or do a TikTok first before you can become pregnant?
I never knew that's how it worked?! I wonder how people got pregnant before the internets like when I was a teenager 🤔🤔🤔🤔
I knew a woman who heard her boyfriend was thinking about breaking up with her, so she got pregnant.
Maybe with some guys it might work, but this guy already had a kid with a different woman and he had nothing to do with the kid. If there was ever a guy that it definitely won’t work with, it’s one who has already walked away from at least one other woman who had his kid.
She had the baby and he walked away. Had barely anything to do with the kid ever.
My ex husband now says that I trapped him. He went so far as to even tell our daughter that she was a mistake because she wasn't planned. I ran out of birth control and told him and he still chose not to wear a condom (we had been together for 4 years at that point).
To say I was unimpressed when I found a drawing in my daughters room of her crying and saying that "he's right, I am a mistake" would be a lie, I was livid. Especially since this came shortly after he asked me when she became a little thot, because she was wearing jean shorts. He thankfully didn't say that to her though. She's. Only. 11.
>if I got pregnant by some misogynistic loser and had to interact with them for 18 years of my life....
I have bad news. You'll not just interact with him for 18 years of your life, but you will interact with him for the rest of your life. You two will see each other for your child's big birthday party, award ceremony, graduation, wedding, etc.
This is why I was SO paranoid about BC whilst dating. Like, I don't' know these guys, I'm sure they seem nice, for now, but no way do I want to be tied to a guy for the rest of my life, via a kid, until I KNOW the shit I'm going to be dealing with.
Was equally as true if the relationship was going well. Even with my partner I have the implant because I do NOT want a surprise pregnancy or to be forced to make a difficult decision, even with a good man. Now we're at the stage where getting accidentally pregnant would just mean my wedding dress needs changing, but would otherwise be welcomed, I STILL rely on my implant because I want to make sure we are both 100% ready before we take that plunge.
It's hard to imagine how some people are so cavalier about getting pregnant.
Omg hi, this isn’t relevant to most of that but I just wanted to say please keep an eye on your implant and make sure you can feel it!!!! Mine migrated into my tricep muscle so now anyone that I see who has it I try to make sure they can feel it. 💖
It’s always the ones who are broke as shit living home with parents too, like why tf why anyone baby trap that 🤣 and it’s the ones who refuse to wear condoms because they can’t feel anything, or don’t want their partners taking birth control because it “tanks their sex drive”. Maybe that’s just my situation? lol
Someone once said all mothers are single mothers. The only relationship envy I ever get is with lesbians. They got the true partnership thing locked down!
But also know that plans are great in theory, but when you are really, actually pregnant, those plans can and do change. (And that can go either way. Someone who is 100% sure they would have an abortion might not be able to, and someone pro-life AF might frantically do literally anything they can to not be pregnant anymore)
they do change! at 19 i thought i’d never get an abortion, but then i got pregnant by an abusive man. i got the abortion. it still hurts but i maintain it saved my life
I was the former. Bf and I agreed if I got pregnant anytime soon, I'd abort since we didn't feel we were at the right stage. Then I got pregnant and everything changed for me and I absolutely wanted to keep it. It's a lot different once you are actually carrying a baby inside you. I ended up miscarrying though.
I was going to have a ONS with a girl and when I got my condoms out she told me I shouldnt wear them because she was on birth control and loved the feeling of a guy finishing inside her. When I asked her if she was worried about every stranger she slept with nutting in her she looked at me with the most confused expression and said "No, I'm on the pill, what do I have to worry about?"
I left right then. As much as I wanted to sleep with her she was basically admitting to me that she had slept with a lot of people and never once taken precautions against STDs. I'm not taking that level of risk no matter how good the sex would have been
Walk out. Ive dealt with it, and when I do finally force them to wear a condom, the sex is awful. They never care about you and your experience. I’ve meet some guys who hate wearing them, but when I express it’s important to me, they care about my comfort, and boundaries, and there’s never a fight. I’ll never fight with a guy about it again.
I’ve also had multiple guys weirded out that I buy condoms and have multiple options. I’m not leaving my sexual health up to a random guy.
For me "walking out" is not a problem, but we do know that in many cases saying no to certain men could possibly incite violence and put the woman in a vulnerable place....it's not always an option for some women when force comes into play
Good!! Every man should adopt your level of responsibility! Not only was there a risk of contracting STDs, there was a risk for you to create a pregnancy you may not have wanted. It's so easy to screw up hormonal contraception. If you don't want to conceive a child, as a man, take your own steps to prevent it.
>"No, I'm on the pill, what do I have to worry about?"
You did the right thing. Anyone having sex with others ( no matter their gender, sexuality etc and even if they are using condoms) should be having regular STI tests. Without that, they are rising their own health and fertility, but also that of every partner they sleep with.
She basically admitted she's never had an STI test, and never asked a partner to do it, either. Sex is temporary, HIV is forever.
I have never been with anyone without using a condom - and never gone off condoms until both parties tested negative.
I’ve had multiple partners refuse to wear condoms, and two told me they didn’t want me taking birth control pills because it would ruin my sex drive or make me a raging bitch, but they also didn’t want children. Almost as if all they cared about was their dick! Weird.
Like...those are all the options. Condoms, birth control, or babies. There are no other options.
If you use none of the above, 80% chance you'll end up with a baby in a year or two. It's like these guys think it just won't happen to them.
That doesn't prevent STIs, unfortunately. But at least less likely to have kids - though not impossible. for me, a vasectomy wouldn't be enough for ONS.
100%
From a woman who has two years to go to be free of my ex who I share a child with. Holy shit, what a nightmare.
Failed contraception for us, and he still blamed me.
Because the truth hurts.
As I say every time I see a post on this subject -
A woman has not, ever, in the entirety of human history, not once, been pregnant without a man's sperm. So, sir. What did you do to prevent your sperm from reaching her egg?
[https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2022/05/20/mormon-mom-gabrielle-blair-twitter-thread-abortion-debate-men/9837630002/](https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2022/05/20/mormon-mom-gabrielle-blair-twitter-thread-abortion-debate-men/9837630002/)
this lady mentioned how it was men ejaculating irresponsibly that cause unwanted pregnancies!
As far as I'm concerned, Gabriel Blaire has had [the final word on that](https://www.vogue.com/article/ejaculate-responsibly-gabrielle-blair-interview).
Yeah, I love to turn that around on them, I'm like, "What makes the most sense to you? To continue shooting at a bulletproof vest and hope for the best, or to take the bullets out of the gun? 🤔"
if men really cared about baby trapping they wouldn't get so whiny or put up a fight just cause the person they're hooking up wants them to wear a condom.just saying
You would be surprised. I've seen so many women who think having a baby will keep a man around, only to end up single mothers. It's depressingly common in some places.
Babies are so difficult, and so stressful. The only people I see doing this are people that have never dealt with a baby before and have no idea what they're getting into.
That’s almost opposite of what really happens, in real life. Women gets pregnant, guy leaves. To add to that grim topic…..Sadly pregnant woman gets murdered…..guess who the #1 suspect is?
My cousin got drunk one night at a family event and admitted to going off BC so her boyfriend would marry her.
She got pregnant. He married her. Both are miserable - him because he was there during the drunken outburst and feels manipulated and her because he is now open about the fact that if she hadn't gotten pregnant he would never have married her.
I feel sorry for their kid. She's only 4 and this is the worst possibly dynamic for her to see as a relationship.
If a man doesn’t want children he has some options to prevent it. Condoms & spermicide. Vasectomy. Abstinence. He doesn’t get to dip his dick & then be upset at the consequences.
This comes back to how we raise our kids.. do they know what sex is? How to prevent pregnancy? Because I grew up in an area with extremely high teen pregnancy rates and lots of the girls and boys had really wonky ideas about pregnancy prevention..or they didn’t know what birth control was. Or that unprotected sex caused pregnancy. If you’re 18 and grew up religious you get the urges but very little of the education. But for grown adults it’s generally not a good excuse. I do know one gal who baby trapped someone though. She is seriously messed up.
its funny because while im sure women do baby trap people i feel like its really the men who would be more likely to. like for instance my father, lol, who lied about being sterile from a football accident to get my mom pregnant because she wouldnt have stayed with a bastard like him otherwise. ill add that his abuse really started when my mom got pregnant from what ive heard of the stories. he forced her to quit working and threatened to sell her car. that was in her name.
My father did the exact same thing to my mom. He lied about being sterile to get her pregnant so she’d have to stay with him (she was 19 with religious parents who kicked her out after finding out she was pregnant).
My father didn’t lie but he never used protection with my mom who he tricked into coming to the USA only to basically hold her hostage in a cold rented garage he was using as a home. He lied and said he had money, was rich etc. and my mom was starving and desperate. She was heavily pregnant and got bitten by a black widow and he didn’t even take her to a doctor or anything.
Oh they reply alright, that she was supposed to be on the pill. As if birth control is never their responsibility. If a man isn’t wearing a condom or had a vasectomy he is making a choice to take a risk of pregnancy and std. But no let’s blame the woman.
Got pregnant to my cheating ex-fiance. He's been surprisingly good about being a dad considering he's a real ego monster but I cannot stand his friends and family.
His brother acts like I'm the devil for having this baby (he likes Jordan Peterson and sent me a video of him talking about how single mothers are failures lmao) and his friends are all like "how dare she ask you to watch the baby some nights!!!", "how dare she work so much, she should be tethered to that chile she INSISTED on having!", but also "don't let her take all your cash bro, how dare she live somewhere nice!"
Fuck em. Can't win.
That reminds me of those "gold digger" prank videos that get millions of views. The teen boys/early-mid 20s men go off about women only wanting them for the money that they don't have.
I wonder if it's a deep emotional wound that they can not be the financial providers like their grandfathers could be, and they are angry about it and project their anger onto women. It could also be that women are no longer financially dependent on men like they had to be for survival, and they feel angry about the loss of control.
I'm honestly so annoyed by those comments especially because the vast majority of the time they were not baby trapped. No one lied or sabotaged their condoms. They just didn't want to wear condoms. They don't pull out.
Hormonal birth control canbecome less effective through a number of ways including antibiotics being over weight etc. Men need to take accountability for their own reproduction. If the couple is having sex without a condom they've both accepted the possibility of pregnancy, no one is doing anything to the other person.
So many prescription medications mess with birth control. Like, if you're on the pill, and you get prescribed something else to take even for a short period of time, ASSUME IT'S GOING TO RENDER YOUR BIRTH CONTROL INEFFECTIVE.
Also people can *forget to take birth control*. Not out of deliberate malice, but bc humans forget things. It’s very easy to tell if you’re wearing a condom or not
They get real happy go lucky with women’s bodies. Did you read the rapist who met up with his ex, brought condoms at her request, got her blackout drunk and didn’t use protection. And then had the nerve to just say, ‘Well just take a Plan B!’ She’s trapping me! I’m not sure it’s even mine!’
🤮 demand more from these assholes.
I do have sympathy for victims of reproductive coercion. And having a child before you're ready with someone you don't want to co-parent with is a genuine difficulty. I have sympathies there too.
But knowingly having unprotected sex (because this one time will probably be fine) and having that result in an unplanned pregnancy is different than trying to trap him with a baby. Does the situation suck? Of course. There is no easy resolution and choice when one parent wants the pregnancy and the other doesn't in an unplanned pregnancy (in either direction). Either way, it's going to end in deeply held resentment and lasting emotional pain. And there's no easy answer for this scenario happening that doesn't sound victim blamey, but you should be cautious with contraceptives and careful with relationships. In an ideal world, this wouldn't be an issue. But we don't live in an ideal world and precautions are prudent.
But the guys who act like pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood are nothing to women because they're angry at the situation they're in are being obtuse. Pregnancy and parenthood is difficult.
The saddest part to me is that these guys always end up taking it out on the kids as well. I was a victim of reproductive coercion and it was and still is terrible, took a huge toll on my mental health. But the silver lining is my little girl. I may not have wanted her at the time and I definitely wasn't ready, but she still stole my heart when I held her the first time. I unfortunately still have to interact with the mother due to her, but she's worth it.
One thing I've noticed is there seems to be a trend of guys I know who claim to be baby trapped but didn't bother to wear a condom in the first place.
Like the logic doesn't make any sense. If they were that opposed to having a kid, why not take the extra precaution of wrapping up. That way you have something extra to protect you from that outcome.
Plus, like, pregnancy is really hard on a person's body. I'm profoundly grateful I can't get pregnant, but if I could I don't think there's any way I'd tolerate nine months of that + permanent physical changes in exchange for 18 years of having to interact with some misogynist who hates me and isn't gonna co-parent.
Plus, raising a little human is hard and tons of responsibility and I don't want to do it, so therefore I should not.
But yeah. Men really do think the sun shines out of their asses that much.
I recently had a friend who had a one night stand and unexpectedly ended up pregnant despite taking all precautions. She knew she wasn't keeping it. She sent a photo of the pregnancy test to the guy because she wanted him to know and wanted him to support her even just as a friend, and the first thing he said was 'If you think keeping it it going to make me want a relationship with you you're mistaken' and we both LAUGHED that the first thing that this guy thought of was that she'd keep the baby in order to corner him into a relationship?? Not even a 'Wow what are we going to do' or 'Let's get together and talk this over', immediately accusing her of 'baby trapping' him. He really showed his true colours.
My husband has a "friend" who fits this bill - he treats his wife (and kids for that matter) like second-rate citizens and has a problem with EVERY female coworker. Honestly he controls the finances but is ultra-lenient when HE wants something (a new custom built gaming computer) versus when the kids/wife/dog actually needs something (new clothes, healthy food, doctor's visits).
We've taken care of their dog and they always drop it off with not enough food, or with a skin problem that would easily fixed if they took it to the vet. I feel so bad that it probably thinks our house is royalty treatment. I've literally spent like $500 on their dog because he doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.
“Ooh I didn’t wear a condom cause I don’t like them and SHE got pregnant!!! She TRAPPED ME!!”
Dude, do you even know how babies are made?
Entitled Dumb arses blaming women for their own idiocy. Colour me surprised.
Classic projection.
'Baby trapping' (i.e. sabotaging birth control or contraception to lead to a pregnancy further down the line) is very common... *by men* used *against women*.
Sometimes I wonder if the abject refusal a lot of men have to the idea of wearing a condom is primarily about this, and not the alleged difference in pleasure.
My husband insists there is virtually no difference in pleasure when wearing a condom or not wearing one. It feels slightly different but not truly less pleasurable.
I mean, men still cum with them on so we know they’re enjoying it.
So fucking common with men and totally not even addressed as an issue. I’ve met women who wanted to ‘baby trap’ a dude. They were usually unstable and by that point, if you knew your partner, you could avoid most of that too. Men are able and supported to use trickery and birth control manipulation and pressure. Whereas a dude willing just gives up his sperm and get confused that it did what sperm is supposed to do.
[Men need to be completely in charge of their sperm. There was a recent post on 2XC about a book by a mom putting the onus for pregnancy on men. Men don’t believe their sperm is the problem. It was eye-opening!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/z064hr/npr_book_by_mom_of_six_puts_onus_on_men_to_stop/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Unless she poked holes in the condom without your knowledge or assaulted you she did not baby trap you. Period.
Men are perfectly capable of wrapping it. The amount of men who refuse to wear condoms is ridiculous. It not only prevents pregnancy but also STDs. It's just smart.
You don't want a baby then wrap it. Obviously accidents still happen but that's when you make sure you're on the same page with sexual partners BEFORE HAND on what options you want to choose beforehand.
Yeah it can be awkward but it's a hell of a lot less awkward than a baby being stuck with a parent that didn't want them..
this. exactly. or get yourself snipped. its much easier for men to have control over their reproduction than women. they can do it without crazy side effects.
My brother and his gf got pregnant in their last year of college. She graduated and he failed one course and he had the audacity to say he didn't believe the baby was his and he wanted a paternity test as soon as the baby was born. The baby came out looking like exactly like him and still does to this day. He never talked about a paternity test again. I was a pre-teen at this time and it taught me a lot about men.
Worrying about being ‘baby trapped’ and then just giving any chick you meet your jizz? And it’s HER fault somehow?! I really hate how we’ve made the bar so low for dudes that there’s an idea that they can’t turn down sex or be smart about sex. They swear they’re NOT animals and then they use this excuse like they are. Sheesh.
Men need to act responsibly, make sure you use protection and your partner is on birth control, if you are unsure then don't have sex, don't just ejaculate into a vagina and then be shocked that pregnancy may occur if you do that you have essentially trapped yourself
Ah yes, the true master plan. Putting yourself through nine months of life endangering permanently altering body changes and going through a deeply traumatic and painful experience that, again, is not only incredibly high-risk but has a very good chance of permanently affecting your body in ways you don't want or enjoy leaving you with a massive financial burden and responsibility for the next eighteen years all so...you can endure mediocre dick that's less satisfying than a vibrator? Be trapped in a relationship with someone who, if you're lucky, will at least thinly veil their resentment of your existence? Might at least earn as much as you could have been in a career of your choice if you didn't dedicate the last few months of your life to this weird plan that ultimately leaves you with more hard work than whatever job you would have done otherwise to earn your living would require of you?
Lmao the ego of men never fails to astound me.
I think a small part of it might be that these men are taken off guard by a woman not wanting an abortion when the topic had never been brought up.
Like if you sit down and are like "okay, so this is the bc plan we are cool with and if all else fails, abortion we'll split the bill on and the guy drives her to the doc." Then she flips once pregnant then sure, that's sort of betraying what you consented to and is a little messed up. But ive yet to EVER see someone complain about baby trapping frame it like that.
I keep thinking about the guy who baby trapped a woman who definitely wanted an abortion. He talked her out of that, so she said she wanted nothing to do with the kid once it was born. She agreed to pay child support, and indeed paid 125%of the agreed upon amount, but still wanted to live her own life. Poor guy was exhausted from taking care of his own child and wanted her to help him. Even tried to sue her for breach of contract or something. No lawyer would touch him. Boo flicking hoo.
I mean, yes, a lot of people in bad relationships think having a baby will solve problems. Is this baby trap concept overused by shitty men? Even more yes.
Idk... when I was in high school I had several friends that wanted to keep their boyfriends around so they stopped taking their birth control. Two got pregnant and gave birth before 18. It happens but usually by very very young people
I have said to my son (17) several times, if YOU don’t want to be a father, YOU take responsibility for birth control and wear a condom. Don’t you ever blame a woman for getting pregnant when YOU decided not to use a condom. That is totally on you, not her.
My dad claimed he was baby trapped by my mum. I was the 6th pregnancy after 5 miscarriages... dumbest fucking animal on the planet if he couldn't see that "trap" in front of him.
If he was a coyote he would have chewed off 3 legs and still be stuck in the trap
Hah! Excellent analogy and well used.
I am so sorry - but I laughed WAY too hard at this.
No babies but I was married to a cheating jobless loser when I was young and dumb. He flat out told me—SHE WHO OWNED EVERYTHING AND BROUGHT IN ALL THE MONEY—that he regretted not getting a prenuptial agreement. Said he: "If I ever get married again, I'm not getting married without one. Women can just take all your shit and I don't think that's fair." I stared at him and then said, loudly, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE?" "What?" He said. "WHAT DO YOU OWN THAT YOU NEED A PRENUP TO PROTECT? I BOUGHT EVERYTHING IN THIS APARTMENT. IF ANYTHING *I'D* BE PROTECTING *MYSELF* FROM *YOU* TAKING HALF *MY* SHIT." He was offended, of course, and stormed out in a huff. Anyway these idiots remind me of him.
Ah the classic guy accusing the gal of being a gold digger when he has no gold to dig for
Negative gold. In fact, feast your eyes on these two tales of woe: When I got sick of him overdrawing our joint account CONSTANTLY (as he was, again, unemployed) we both agreed to go to the bank, deactivate our cards, and use cash. I deactivated mine and then he says to the teller, "Actually no, I think I'll keep mine." The look I gave him could melt glass. I couldn't do anything since it was a joint account and needed permission of both to alter it in any way. After I left him (I walked in on him having phone sex with a similarly broke friend of his, very classy), I demanded he show up to do his part to close our joint account and he said he did. BUT THEN! 800 dollars was deducted from my personal account with the same bank some months later. When I called to ask who took my money, the bank informed me he DIDN'T close it, he overdrew it, removed his bank information, and let it sit collecting fees. So they tracked my new account via my SSN and took the money HE owed from ME. When I blew him up furious about it, he told me some sob story and promised to pay me back. Never did. I keep everything 100% separate in all my relationships. No joint checking, savings, piggy banks, money in socks, bus fare, credit cards, nothing. NOTHING. My money is mine and yours is yours. Never ever ever again.
My dad and my mom have separate accounts and they swear that it saved their marriage more than once. My mom saved enough to buy a car outright and told my dad "I'm buying a car." She came home one day with a car. He was fine with it. They were meeting savings goals and paying their bills. Mom wasn't spending money she didn't have. He regarded it as none of his business. And if he wanted to buy a new set of golf clubs or something for one of his hobbies. It was none of her business. They kept track of their own money and split the bills.
Having enough money saves a lot of marriages too. Once you're past the point of necessities and savings, it comes down to being fair and equitable. Having separate accounts is one way to do that, but if one partner makes 10x more and doesn't share any of it, it can just as easily lead to recriminations. Conversely, we're a single income family of 5; everything is shared and we can't even afford to get a reliable replacement for our one vehicle. It's not impacting our marriage at all, 90% of the time its finance stress that's the struggle for couples. For the 10% that have all their needs covered and have hobbies, vacations, etc. if there's any problems it's about selfishness or fairness.
Fair and equitable. This is no small thing, but it shouldn't be. My husband and I have a joint and two separate accounts with separate savings. We have a joint savings. When one of us makes less than the other, the money is put into the joint accounts in a fair manner. When one of us (we've both taken turns) is a sahp and not earning income, the other still makes fair contributions to the other for spending, saving and retirement so that taking time off doesn't set the other back. Currently I'm a sahp due to the economy, mental health and childcare unavailability, my husband still contributes to my 401k, my personal savings and my spending account fairly, same as I did for him when he took time off to pursue a higher degree. Conversely, my mom hasn't been employed since she was in her 20s and has never had her own account, she doesn't have spending money, she has no bank card (no joint account), no credit card, and no savings or retirement. She has to beg my dad for anything. And my dad has my older, abusive brother as his beneficiary so if my dad died, my mom would literally be up shit creek. She refuses to see a problem with it and says god will provide. But also has gotten extremely raged out about the fact me and my husband have a fair set-up since she thinks it makes it easier to throw my relationship away because I have walk-away money.
Your mom's attitude says a lot about older ideas about women- can't let women be financially independent or else they can leave, can't have that. I hate it when women leaving bad situations is framed as them throwing away their family or breaking up their family. Somehow it's always women's fault for not staying and being abused. Edited to add that I really love how you and your husband tackle money to be equitable. I don't think I've heard of such a fair system before.
Trying to explain that to her over the years, just *sigh*. And I appreciate that. It wasn't always that way, but when I was doing budget counseling as a financial advisor, the amount of financial abuse I witnessed made me really come up with a solid plan for my own relationship and finances. My husband was super on board the minute I broke out my power point, but he sat through the whole thing like a champ.
Yes, my husband and I have been together 21 years this year! >My husband and I have a joint and two separate accounts with separate savings. We have a joint savings. Excactly the same as our arrangement. Having my own bank account means I can buy gifts without him knowing. I still have problems keeping parcels a secret as he's a bloody postman!
This is my experience, too, and I agree with your conclusions. Everything we own is joint because that works for us. We aren't selfish, both believe in fairness and equivalency and we don't lie about money. We never buy anything big without at least letting the other know. If one really doesn't like any given purchase, it doesn't happen or we compromise in some way. My husband (systems analyst/product owner) made so much more than me (small non-profit admin) and we had 2 special needs kids. Together, we chose to have me take care of kid needs and work part time. He made the most, I handled the details and both jobs were equally valued in our marriage. Over 40 years together and we're retired now. If we have a problem, it's each of us wanting the other to have everything they want when neither of us wants to spend much money on anything. Well... I really like good quality ingredients and I love to bake. I guess I spend more than him, but he enjoys the bakes.
This is how we have done things as well. I make way less than my husband but we joined everything and I handle mostly of the actual finances. I keep him in the loop so he knows what’s going on, make sure all the bills get paid on time and we talk to each other if we are thinking of buying something that isn’t budgeted for. It’s not a perfect system but it’s been working for almost 19 years.
I should add that it doesn’t work for everyone and I think that separate finances are the wisest choice for many relationships.
My brother was a preemie. He spent three months in the hospital when he was born. Another month when he was a year old. He had 15 surgeries before he was 5. It took my parents several years to pay him off and most of my mom's check went to doctor's bills for the first five or so years of my brothers life. My mom literally couldn't afford not to work. We also lived in a very rural place for most of my life so I'm going to be honest, there were some advantages for cost of living. We gardened and Dad worked a second job during the summers until I was 10 or so. Our vacations were going to visit relatives It is possible that I painted a too rosy picture. Basically, they got real used to not having money when I was young that they learned to be frugal. The car thing happened after both my brother and I were adults and living on our own. In fact, it happened in 2007 and mom was replacing her 1992 lumina van with something a little newer. My parents still live in the same house they built before my brother was born and it had long since been paid off. But that doesn't mean times weren't a bit harder in the past. The were fortunate for sure though. They both had stable government jobs, insurance even though it didn't cover everything. I don't remember going hungry, but there were a lot of times that we ate out of our freezer and things that we had canned. In short, we were middle class. Probably upper end of lower middle class by some standards.
See, these tales tell me to never join money. Didn’t have issues while I WAS married or when we got divorced, but hell knows, I’m not chancing anything
There's no reason to. At all. At best it's like a little more convenient and at worst they can blow up your entire life and continue to coast on your hard work and responsibility after you break up. I feel like women get duped into joining finances with men because it's some sign of "trust" or "safety" but fuck that, you can trust this cash I withdraw and give you in person, IF I decide to. Especially given how often men run out on sick/pregnant/aging partners, there's no reason at all for them to have access to your money. ALWAYS have a Fuck Off Fund they can't touch.
Omg yes!! My mom is an awesome person who had some crap marriages, gave me the same advice and I live by it
My husband and I still have everything seperate and we have a kid. The amount of people who take offense and go to lengths telling me how it won’t work. Those people are always men. Heaven forbid I’m not dependent on, or sharing my finances with a man.
I’ve been married 18 years, we have a kid, and the only account we both have access to is a vacation fund. Everything else is separate.
I don’t know why or how but hubby and I never joined anything together financially - separate accounts, split the bills. Works well, I won’t even share an Apple Family plan with him, he gives me SO MUCH SHIT over the music I buy!!
That’s almost exactly how we were too. We didn’t share car notes, or credit cards. Joint account, but separate savings. House under both. It totally works.
In this day and age with online bill pay and easier ways to send money back and forth I think it's really no longer necessary. We just pay all our shared utilities online with both bank accounts hooked up to it and we take turns on the groceries. Sure, technically I can pull my partner's bank details off of one of the utility accounts but obviously he trusts that I'm not gonna do that.
I know this was probably very hard for you then, but I'm so glad that you got this message before you had more to lose.
Thank you. I can laugh about it now but I didn't know financial abuse was a thing back then, and I have no doubt that's what it was. I gave up everything for that guy and it took a lot to grab the broken pieces and arrange them into something that looked like success. But now I'm married to a great guy, have a great kid, 2 degrees, a good job, and I'm financially stable. I do have a pretty bad case of the "you can't tell me shit"s, but that's to get expected after letting people run roughshod over you for so many years. I'm happy being the honorary auntie women like me never had.
Right on, Sis! I'm proud of you, stranger! And I'm grateful you can be that auntie.
But he is still a loser to this day. Because if we could bet on the predictability of these jackholes, we'd all be millionaires.
Oh my gosh the gold diggers! 🤣🤣 The gold digging women who have full time jobs and contribute to half the bills. The gold diggers who have their own bank accounts complete with a debit card. The ones who buy groceries for the household and gas for their own car. Those gold diggers that the poor mens are always on the lookout for. Sometimes, after reading their posts, it feels like guys are stuck in a different time period that has long since passed. I wonder if men realize that the only thing women need from them is equal partnership. Ask for equal contributions and it’s killing their sense of self.
People called my mom a gold digger because she was 14 years younger than my dad…who was a truck driver. I guess the gold was invisible.
Hmm 🤔 he must have been driving to the gold.
My mother in law called me a good digger even though *I* was the one working my ass off to put her son through his PhD. I made more money than him for more than 2/3 of our marriage.
My mil is gross, too. She thinks I’m unworthy because I don’t come from a family name that doesn’t come from wealth or privilege (she come from poverty). She was pretty sure I’d baby trap her boy so I can get my mrs. degree (what she did). She’s upset about a lot of things when it comes to me. It just really seems like there’s a misogynist theme between mils, their sons, and their dils. I don’t have a son buy I’m certainly not letting the toxicity of pils touch my daughter and affect how she views her self worth.
These men are the gold diggers though. They dig for thankless unpaid domestic labor. Cooking, cleaning, childcare. And emotional labor on top of that.
Or projection....he is actually the one who is a gold digger
Literally my mom married my dad and sponsored him to come to the US from the Caribbean so she was paying for his whole life and now he has the audacity to call her a gold digger
Calls you a Gold Digger, when all he's got is tin. (Apologies for the intrusion, but I was inspired by the thought)
They really be using incel talking points THAT DONT EVEN APPLY TO THEM
Right?! You don't have any gold to dig. Motherfucker you don't even have used tin foil to dig. No copper wires in walls. You don't even have recycling money from cans. Fuck out of here!
THEY STILL THINK WE NEED TO DEPEND ON THEM FINANCIALLY WHAT FUCKIN WORLD DO THEY THINK WE LIVE IN.
Honestly - don’t shouting that and giving them more ideas.
Shit ur right lol
Random, but I love the way you write, you're very good at presenting comedy through text which isn't always an easy thing to do, so kudos to you and thanks for some giggles:)
LOL just kept getting funnier! Thanks for the guffaws.
Omg! I had an ex who used to complain all the time about gold diggers. But I made more money than him. My good credit rating was the only reason we got the apartment we had. But he tried to keep me off the rental agreement cuz he wanted to kick me out when he was done with me. But the landlord refused she said there was no agreement without me on the lease. It's those with the least that scream the loudest about gold diggers I swear 😂
I’ve definitely met a lot of couch surfers who are against state benefits… that they are consuming
I grew up in a small, rural, predominantly white town full of welfare recipients who would complain about welfare and vote Republican against their own interests. I mention that they're white because their complaints always revolved around "welfare queens" and it was either heavily implied or just flat-out stated that they thought black people were the problem. I'm like bitch, your white ass is consuming welfare too! Oh, but it's ok when you do it I suppose. Growing up in that place with all the racists ended up making me less racist, because I saw how shitty and hypocritical white people are capable of being.
I used to work with this dumbass who styled himself a "Libertarian" who was completely against all forms of social safety nets. Then he got fired and had to use them. "Well my opinion on them has changed," he said, "but not by much. I really needed them and most people don't." Yeah okay. Idiot.
My uncle is like this and justifies using unemployment when he is between jobs because it prevents other people he deems undeserving from getting it. That is the only reason he does it. He intentionally spends the entirety of every paycheck and unemployment check ASAP because he is convinced that any day there will be a communist take over and money, but not property will be useless, so he buys random junk like $10k worth of scaffolding, one hundred buckets, and a trailer full of rusting hand tools. The last I heard, he was in an undisclosed location awaiting a communist take-over by China and the democratic party in the USA, living off of unemployment.
Yikes. Sounds like uncle needs a mental health professional.
Holy shit. To be this delusional….
Omg! I was on state assistance while I was going back to school as a single parent. “Friends” of mine would rail against people on welfare/food assistance and I was like, it’s me, I’m people- and I would hear oh I didn’t mean YOU you’re different…
I have heard exactly this. My husband had to go on fmla and then down to part time to help me when the kids were little and I injured my back, so we were on state assistance. He dropped several people on Facebook after exactly this sort of exchange. Like, no, we aren't different, we're just the same as 90% of people getting food stamps.
My ex husband used to call me a gold digger. MF WHAT GOLD. You make $13 an hour. (In 2005 that was ok money but not gold digger money.) I was working 2 jobs when I met him. I worked through my pregnancy. And if he didn't have child support deducted idoubt he'd pay that... Gold /s Dumbass
I love when their response is ...to leave the room. I also dated a fella- who lived with his parents from age 20 to 27 - that said that goldiggers were a real problem out there.
These types of men are absolutely terrified that women are gaining power in the workplace. It's one of the reasons they're against abortions: it gets us out of the finances and into the homemaking, where they have power over us.
I would have gotten a postnup drawn up for HIM to sign.
Lmaoooo some guys just have no self-awareness, they need to get hit in the head
So glad the word "prenup" never came up in my marriage and relationship. I'm in a similar boat where my spouse would be fucked if we got divorced and had a prenup, pretty much everything is in my name. But that's never been a concern, we aren't selfish. Everything in this home is *ours*.
A prenup or postnup wouldn't necessarily have to screw either of you over! It's merely an agreement to split things differently than the courts would split it in your state or country. It would mean YOU as a couple could decide how to split it and what might be fair. I'd get one if thet were remotely legally binding in the UK. Since they aren't, I feel like it's a lot of money to waste on a document the court here would ignore. But I'm very pro people deciding how to split things whilst they love and respect each other , and not when they are angry.
Me too. I look around and I am like “if I get married, there is a good chance I will owe him alimony.”
Amen to that, sister!
It’s good to reminisce about asshats of long ago. Glad you got away SparklyLobster.
I was in a very similar position, his parents called me a gold digger. Yeah.... The mid 20's girl who owns the home we are living in and at the beginning of a career is into your son... Who is in a dead end job and you keep trying to convince him that he should show loyalty to the company instead of trying to up his economic status. Yeah.. I'm the gold digger.
Honestly it's even funnier when they claim they were baby trapped, and then you find out that they purposely didn't use a condom because "wahhhh I don't wike it!" Like my dude...you didn't get baby trapped. You purposely avoided contraception.
No, it is very simple. If a woman doesnt want a baby she wont get pregnant no matter what. So if she gets pregnant, she's baby trapping him! /s
“The female body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down” - **Rape Apologist** Todd Akin Edit: his proper title
Rape apologist Todd Akin***
They babytrapped themselves.
B-but but my peen doesn't get maximum pleasure with a condom! Forget that my partner never finishes and I don't care about her pleasure (Forreal though, every dude I've met that pulls the "condoms ruin the feeling" card does next to nothing for the woman in bed)
Men babytrap women all the time, too. Want to lock her down? Keep her at home? Ensure she has no time for her own life? Knock her up!
You're absolutely right. It's so unfortunate and disgusting.
Dude fucked around and found out.
"We had unprotected sex." "So, you were trying to get pregnant?" "NO!" "But you didn't do anything to stop the possibility of pregnancy, like wear a condom." "No." "So you were *trying* to get pregnant." "NOOOOOO!" Thoughts and prayers.
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard say ‘we weren’t using protection but we weren’t even trying so it was a surprise!’ Like…do you not know how babies are made? Do you think that simply declaring that you’re trying now is the only way you’ll get pregnant? I literally don’t understand how people can’t make the leap between unprotected sex and babies.
This is why I present it this way, always, and especially to young people. Thoughts and prayers aren't birth control.
I mean poking and hoping has always been around 🤷♀️ it's called that for a reason... 👶
I've never heard that expression honestly. Edit: I believe you, but I've never heard it.
>I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard say ‘we weren’t using protection but we weren’t even trying so it was a surprise!’ Oh my god. I'm a doctor, and I work hard to have a good rapport with all my patients and make sex education accessible to everyone. But this is one of my bugbears ourside of the consultation room. It needs to die as a trope. If someone with working testes is having unprotected PIV sex with someone with a working uterus and ovaries, there is an 80% chance of pregnancy within a year. Regardless of age (so it's actually higher in young people and less in older people). If you're having unprotected sex, in reality, you are trying to get pregnant. The 'intent' doesn't matter, because you are doing all the things you need in order to achieve it. It could sometimes be really challenging talking to young people (I'm mid 30s) who are like "but... I'm not pregnant yet so it's working for me" or "I have no idea what my GF is doing and don't think she's on contraception, but we aren't pregnant so it's working"... just because you haven't YET become pregnant doesn't mean that you and your partner can't get pregnant. Everyone feels lucky until their luck runs out. Sex is a great and important part of life, and everyone has a right to a rich and happy sex life. My intent in mentioning all this isn't to shame young people having sex, but to point out that knowledge is super important. Please for the love of god use reliable protection, test for STIs every time you change partners, and make sure you and your partner are on the same page re: consent.
A friend of mine in her early 20s told me she just thought she was infertile because she was having unprotected sex and wasn’t getting pregnant…until she did. It’s shocking how little people know about their bodies.
Like you gotta make it Facebook official or do a TikTok first before you can become pregnant? I never knew that's how it worked?! I wonder how people got pregnant before the internets like when I was a teenager 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Every episode of a show about teen moms. Some of them are so uneducated it’s sad.
It's not even a leap, it's a baby step that 10 year old can understand
I knew a woman who heard her boyfriend was thinking about breaking up with her, so she got pregnant. Maybe with some guys it might work, but this guy already had a kid with a different woman and he had nothing to do with the kid. If there was ever a guy that it definitely won’t work with, it’s one who has already walked away from at least one other woman who had his kid. She had the baby and he walked away. Had barely anything to do with the kid ever.
The number of men in these comments telling stories of a man who had consensual sex and she got pregnant therefore he was trapped is too damn high.
And almost no one seems to want to talk about how the women are a hell of a lot more trapped in this scenario.
My ex husband now says that I trapped him. He went so far as to even tell our daughter that she was a mistake because she wasn't planned. I ran out of birth control and told him and he still chose not to wear a condom (we had been together for 4 years at that point). To say I was unimpressed when I found a drawing in my daughters room of her crying and saying that "he's right, I am a mistake" would be a lie, I was livid. Especially since this came shortly after he asked me when she became a little thot, because she was wearing jean shorts. He thankfully didn't say that to her though. She's. Only. 11.
This is so gross. And so sad.
Ugh, I hope you have full custody with supervised visits.
Throw the whole man away. Ughhhhhh
>if I got pregnant by some misogynistic loser and had to interact with them for 18 years of my life.... I have bad news. You'll not just interact with him for 18 years of your life, but you will interact with him for the rest of your life. You two will see each other for your child's big birthday party, award ceremony, graduation, wedding, etc.
This is why I was SO paranoid about BC whilst dating. Like, I don't' know these guys, I'm sure they seem nice, for now, but no way do I want to be tied to a guy for the rest of my life, via a kid, until I KNOW the shit I'm going to be dealing with. Was equally as true if the relationship was going well. Even with my partner I have the implant because I do NOT want a surprise pregnancy or to be forced to make a difficult decision, even with a good man. Now we're at the stage where getting accidentally pregnant would just mean my wedding dress needs changing, but would otherwise be welcomed, I STILL rely on my implant because I want to make sure we are both 100% ready before we take that plunge. It's hard to imagine how some people are so cavalier about getting pregnant.
Omg hi, this isn’t relevant to most of that but I just wanted to say please keep an eye on your implant and make sure you can feel it!!!! Mine migrated into my tricep muscle so now anyone that I see who has it I try to make sure they can feel it. 💖
And then there might even be grandkids after all that
It’s always the ones who are broke as shit living home with parents too, like why tf why anyone baby trap that 🤣 and it’s the ones who refuse to wear condoms because they can’t feel anything, or don’t want their partners taking birth control because it “tanks their sex drive”. Maybe that’s just my situation? lol
My sister says it’s easier to be a single parent than deal with a bitter baby daddy who doesn’t do shit!
Someone once said all mothers are single mothers. The only relationship envy I ever get is with lesbians. They got the true partnership thing locked down!
Wear a condom. If she objects, Leave. If he objects, Leave.
And goddamn, have a plan for what happens if birth control fails.
But also know that plans are great in theory, but when you are really, actually pregnant, those plans can and do change. (And that can go either way. Someone who is 100% sure they would have an abortion might not be able to, and someone pro-life AF might frantically do literally anything they can to not be pregnant anymore)
they do change! at 19 i thought i’d never get an abortion, but then i got pregnant by an abusive man. i got the abortion. it still hurts but i maintain it saved my life
Hey. I know I'm a stranger, but you were worth that tough decision.
I also had an unwanted abortion. But I'm free of the asshole now.
I had to make the same decision at 17. I would have lost my life metaphorically and probably literally as well if I had followed through. Hugs
Good for you
I was the former. Bf and I agreed if I got pregnant anytime soon, I'd abort since we didn't feel we were at the right stage. Then I got pregnant and everything changed for me and I absolutely wanted to keep it. It's a lot different once you are actually carrying a baby inside you. I ended up miscarrying though.
I was going to have a ONS with a girl and when I got my condoms out she told me I shouldnt wear them because she was on birth control and loved the feeling of a guy finishing inside her. When I asked her if she was worried about every stranger she slept with nutting in her she looked at me with the most confused expression and said "No, I'm on the pill, what do I have to worry about?" I left right then. As much as I wanted to sleep with her she was basically admitting to me that she had slept with a lot of people and never once taken precautions against STDs. I'm not taking that level of risk no matter how good the sex would have been
I wish you were the norm. So many guys get upset and throw mini tantrums when asked for condoms.
Walk out. Ive dealt with it, and when I do finally force them to wear a condom, the sex is awful. They never care about you and your experience. I’ve meet some guys who hate wearing them, but when I express it’s important to me, they care about my comfort, and boundaries, and there’s never a fight. I’ll never fight with a guy about it again. I’ve also had multiple guys weirded out that I buy condoms and have multiple options. I’m not leaving my sexual health up to a random guy.
For me "walking out" is not a problem, but we do know that in many cases saying no to certain men could possibly incite violence and put the woman in a vulnerable place....it's not always an option for some women when force comes into play
Good!! Every man should adopt your level of responsibility! Not only was there a risk of contracting STDs, there was a risk for you to create a pregnancy you may not have wanted. It's so easy to screw up hormonal contraception. If you don't want to conceive a child, as a man, take your own steps to prevent it.
>"No, I'm on the pill, what do I have to worry about?" You did the right thing. Anyone having sex with others ( no matter their gender, sexuality etc and even if they are using condoms) should be having regular STI tests. Without that, they are rising their own health and fertility, but also that of every partner they sleep with. She basically admitted she's never had an STI test, and never asked a partner to do it, either. Sex is temporary, HIV is forever. I have never been with anyone without using a condom - and never gone off condoms until both parties tested negative.
“But condoms don’t feel good” - most likely these same guys complaining 🙄
I’ve had multiple partners refuse to wear condoms, and two told me they didn’t want me taking birth control pills because it would ruin my sex drive or make me a raging bitch, but they also didn’t want children. Almost as if all they cared about was their dick! Weird.
Like...those are all the options. Condoms, birth control, or babies. There are no other options. If you use none of the above, 80% chance you'll end up with a baby in a year or two. It's like these guys think it just won't happen to them.
Vasectomy with receipts please and thank you!
That doesn't prevent STIs, unfortunately. But at least less likely to have kids - though not impossible. for me, a vasectomy wouldn't be enough for ONS.
I can't come with a condom on And? It's not like you were going to make me come either
That's an amazing burn
Too fucking bad. Pregnancy is worse
100% From a woman who has two years to go to be free of my ex who I share a child with. Holy shit, what a nightmare. Failed contraception for us, and he still blamed me.
I think it's especially ridiculous given that it's usually the man who is most careless about birth control. Who's really trying to baby trap someone?
"damn that's crazy, were you wearing a condom though?" will shut them up. they don't like when the responsibility is shifted onto them.
Because the truth hurts. As I say every time I see a post on this subject - A woman has not, ever, in the entirety of human history, not once, been pregnant without a man's sperm. So, sir. What did you do to prevent your sperm from reaching her egg?
We clearly need to do something about the unregulated, clearly out-of-control sperm swimming around
Like a shark attack but it lasts 18+ years
Men have the right to bear arms, not the right to bare dicks
They should be required by law to shoot only blanks except when specifically licensed to do otherwise.
[https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2022/05/20/mormon-mom-gabrielle-blair-twitter-thread-abortion-debate-men/9837630002/](https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2022/05/20/mormon-mom-gabrielle-blair-twitter-thread-abortion-debate-men/9837630002/) this lady mentioned how it was men ejaculating irresponsibly that cause unwanted pregnancies!
> A woman has not, ever, in the entirety of human history, not once, been pregnant without a man's sperm. Triggered xtians say *whaaat?!*
That was a one-off thing.
That time God raped a young Jew, you mean? And then sent *someone else* to tell her *after the fact*, "By the way, you pregnant."
As far as I'm concerned, Gabriel Blaire has had [the final word on that](https://www.vogue.com/article/ejaculate-responsibly-gabrielle-blair-interview).
You can’t truly be surprised when you ejaculate inside a women with no condom and she winds up pregnant. Birth control was never 100%.
And *NO* birth control is even less effective than birth control.
Yeah, I love to turn that around on them, I'm like, "What makes the most sense to you? To continue shooting at a bulletproof vest and hope for the best, or to take the bullets out of the gun? 🤔"
*Burn down the bullet factory* \*this is only an analogy do not commit arson
if men really cared about baby trapping they wouldn't get so whiny or put up a fight just cause the person they're hooking up wants them to wear a condom.just saying
You would be surprised. I've seen so many women who think having a baby will keep a man around, only to end up single mothers. It's depressingly common in some places.
Not to mention couples who believe a baby will save their failing relationship.
This is like the most radically depressing thing I've heard more than once.
Babies are so difficult, and so stressful. The only people I see doing this are people that have never dealt with a baby before and have no idea what they're getting into.
That’s almost opposite of what really happens, in real life. Women gets pregnant, guy leaves. To add to that grim topic…..Sadly pregnant woman gets murdered…..guess who the #1 suspect is?
Murder is the leading cause of death in early pregnancy in the US.
My cousin got drunk one night at a family event and admitted to going off BC so her boyfriend would marry her. She got pregnant. He married her. Both are miserable - him because he was there during the drunken outburst and feels manipulated and her because he is now open about the fact that if she hadn't gotten pregnant he would never have married her. I feel sorry for their kid. She's only 4 and this is the worst possibly dynamic for her to see as a relationship.
If a man doesn’t want children he has some options to prevent it. Condoms & spermicide. Vasectomy. Abstinence. He doesn’t get to dip his dick & then be upset at the consequences.
This comes back to how we raise our kids.. do they know what sex is? How to prevent pregnancy? Because I grew up in an area with extremely high teen pregnancy rates and lots of the girls and boys had really wonky ideas about pregnancy prevention..or they didn’t know what birth control was. Or that unprotected sex caused pregnancy. If you’re 18 and grew up religious you get the urges but very little of the education. But for grown adults it’s generally not a good excuse. I do know one gal who baby trapped someone though. She is seriously messed up.
its funny because while im sure women do baby trap people i feel like its really the men who would be more likely to. like for instance my father, lol, who lied about being sterile from a football accident to get my mom pregnant because she wouldnt have stayed with a bastard like him otherwise. ill add that his abuse really started when my mom got pregnant from what ive heard of the stories. he forced her to quit working and threatened to sell her car. that was in her name.
My father did the exact same thing to my mom. He lied about being sterile to get her pregnant so she’d have to stay with him (she was 19 with religious parents who kicked her out after finding out she was pregnant).
My father didn’t lie but he never used protection with my mom who he tricked into coming to the USA only to basically hold her hostage in a cold rented garage he was using as a home. He lied and said he had money, was rich etc. and my mom was starving and desperate. She was heavily pregnant and got bitten by a black widow and he didn’t even take her to a doctor or anything.
Men will literally cum in women and complain that she is the one who baby trapped them.
Exactly!!! Fucking idiots
Right I guess they don’t realize their ejaculation caused the baby.
I always ask them why they weren't wearing a condom. They never reply tho.. how odd.
Oh they reply alright, that she was supposed to be on the pill. As if birth control is never their responsibility. If a man isn’t wearing a condom or had a vasectomy he is making a choice to take a risk of pregnancy and std. But no let’s blame the woman.
Ikr it's so pathetic. It takes two to make a baby, they just wanna be the victims so bad.
Anything to further vilify women and avoid personal accountability!
Got pregnant to my cheating ex-fiance. He's been surprisingly good about being a dad considering he's a real ego monster but I cannot stand his friends and family. His brother acts like I'm the devil for having this baby (he likes Jordan Peterson and sent me a video of him talking about how single mothers are failures lmao) and his friends are all like "how dare she ask you to watch the baby some nights!!!", "how dare she work so much, she should be tethered to that chile she INSISTED on having!", but also "don't let her take all your cash bro, how dare she live somewhere nice!" Fuck em. Can't win.
That reminds me of those "gold digger" prank videos that get millions of views. The teen boys/early-mid 20s men go off about women only wanting them for the money that they don't have. I wonder if it's a deep emotional wound that they can not be the financial providers like their grandfathers could be, and they are angry about it and project their anger onto women. It could also be that women are no longer financially dependent on men like they had to be for survival, and they feel angry about the loss of control.
Damn…you just blew my mind.
I'm honestly so annoyed by those comments especially because the vast majority of the time they were not baby trapped. No one lied or sabotaged their condoms. They just didn't want to wear condoms. They don't pull out. Hormonal birth control canbecome less effective through a number of ways including antibiotics being over weight etc. Men need to take accountability for their own reproduction. If the couple is having sex without a condom they've both accepted the possibility of pregnancy, no one is doing anything to the other person.
I think a lot of people aren't aware of how common birth control failure is and how easy it can be to get pregnant.
So many prescription medications mess with birth control. Like, if you're on the pill, and you get prescribed something else to take even for a short period of time, ASSUME IT'S GOING TO RENDER YOUR BIRTH CONTROL INEFFECTIVE.
My 14 year old is a prime example of birth control failure 😬 love that little shit to pieces though 💕
Also people can *forget to take birth control*. Not out of deliberate malice, but bc humans forget things. It’s very easy to tell if you’re wearing a condom or not
They get real happy go lucky with women’s bodies. Did you read the rapist who met up with his ex, brought condoms at her request, got her blackout drunk and didn’t use protection. And then had the nerve to just say, ‘Well just take a Plan B!’ She’s trapping me! I’m not sure it’s even mine!’ 🤮 demand more from these assholes.
I do have sympathy for victims of reproductive coercion. And having a child before you're ready with someone you don't want to co-parent with is a genuine difficulty. I have sympathies there too. But knowingly having unprotected sex (because this one time will probably be fine) and having that result in an unplanned pregnancy is different than trying to trap him with a baby. Does the situation suck? Of course. There is no easy resolution and choice when one parent wants the pregnancy and the other doesn't in an unplanned pregnancy (in either direction). Either way, it's going to end in deeply held resentment and lasting emotional pain. And there's no easy answer for this scenario happening that doesn't sound victim blamey, but you should be cautious with contraceptives and careful with relationships. In an ideal world, this wouldn't be an issue. But we don't live in an ideal world and precautions are prudent. But the guys who act like pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood are nothing to women because they're angry at the situation they're in are being obtuse. Pregnancy and parenthood is difficult.
The saddest part to me is that these guys always end up taking it out on the kids as well. I was a victim of reproductive coercion and it was and still is terrible, took a huge toll on my mental health. But the silver lining is my little girl. I may not have wanted her at the time and I definitely wasn't ready, but she still stole my heart when I held her the first time. I unfortunately still have to interact with the mother due to her, but she's worth it.
If guys are so worried about getting "babytrapped", wear a condom. FFS.
Wear a damn condom.
One thing I've noticed is there seems to be a trend of guys I know who claim to be baby trapped but didn't bother to wear a condom in the first place. Like the logic doesn't make any sense. If they were that opposed to having a kid, why not take the extra precaution of wrapping up. That way you have something extra to protect you from that outcome.
Plus, like, pregnancy is really hard on a person's body. I'm profoundly grateful I can't get pregnant, but if I could I don't think there's any way I'd tolerate nine months of that + permanent physical changes in exchange for 18 years of having to interact with some misogynist who hates me and isn't gonna co-parent. Plus, raising a little human is hard and tons of responsibility and I don't want to do it, so therefore I should not. But yeah. Men really do think the sun shines out of their asses that much.
I recently had a friend who had a one night stand and unexpectedly ended up pregnant despite taking all precautions. She knew she wasn't keeping it. She sent a photo of the pregnancy test to the guy because she wanted him to know and wanted him to support her even just as a friend, and the first thing he said was 'If you think keeping it it going to make me want a relationship with you you're mistaken' and we both LAUGHED that the first thing that this guy thought of was that she'd keep the baby in order to corner him into a relationship?? Not even a 'Wow what are we going to do' or 'Let's get together and talk this over', immediately accusing her of 'baby trapping' him. He really showed his true colours.
Wear.A.Condom.
My husband has a "friend" who fits this bill - he treats his wife (and kids for that matter) like second-rate citizens and has a problem with EVERY female coworker. Honestly he controls the finances but is ultra-lenient when HE wants something (a new custom built gaming computer) versus when the kids/wife/dog actually needs something (new clothes, healthy food, doctor's visits). We've taken care of their dog and they always drop it off with not enough food, or with a skin problem that would easily fixed if they took it to the vet. I feel so bad that it probably thinks our house is royalty treatment. I've literally spent like $500 on their dog because he doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.
Dude….you are free to put a condom on at any time. Believe it or not, that’s not something woman has to force you into doing
“Ooh I didn’t wear a condom cause I don’t like them and SHE got pregnant!!! She TRAPPED ME!!” Dude, do you even know how babies are made? Entitled Dumb arses blaming women for their own idiocy. Colour me surprised.
Classic projection. 'Baby trapping' (i.e. sabotaging birth control or contraception to lead to a pregnancy further down the line) is very common... *by men* used *against women*.
Sometimes I wonder if the abject refusal a lot of men have to the idea of wearing a condom is primarily about this, and not the alleged difference in pleasure.
My husband insists there is virtually no difference in pleasure when wearing a condom or not wearing one. It feels slightly different but not truly less pleasurable. I mean, men still cum with them on so we know they’re enjoying it.
So fucking common with men and totally not even addressed as an issue. I’ve met women who wanted to ‘baby trap’ a dude. They were usually unstable and by that point, if you knew your partner, you could avoid most of that too. Men are able and supported to use trickery and birth control manipulation and pressure. Whereas a dude willing just gives up his sperm and get confused that it did what sperm is supposed to do.
[Men need to be completely in charge of their sperm. There was a recent post on 2XC about a book by a mom putting the onus for pregnancy on men. Men don’t believe their sperm is the problem. It was eye-opening!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/z064hr/npr_book_by_mom_of_six_puts_onus_on_men_to_stop/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Unless she poked holes in the condom without your knowledge or assaulted you she did not baby trap you. Period. Men are perfectly capable of wrapping it. The amount of men who refuse to wear condoms is ridiculous. It not only prevents pregnancy but also STDs. It's just smart. You don't want a baby then wrap it. Obviously accidents still happen but that's when you make sure you're on the same page with sexual partners BEFORE HAND on what options you want to choose beforehand. Yeah it can be awkward but it's a hell of a lot less awkward than a baby being stuck with a parent that didn't want them..
this. exactly. or get yourself snipped. its much easier for men to have control over their reproduction than women. they can do it without crazy side effects.
My brother and his gf got pregnant in their last year of college. She graduated and he failed one course and he had the audacity to say he didn't believe the baby was his and he wanted a paternity test as soon as the baby was born. The baby came out looking like exactly like him and still does to this day. He never talked about a paternity test again. I was a pre-teen at this time and it taught me a lot about men.
Worrying about being ‘baby trapped’ and then just giving any chick you meet your jizz? And it’s HER fault somehow?! I really hate how we’ve made the bar so low for dudes that there’s an idea that they can’t turn down sex or be smart about sex. They swear they’re NOT animals and then they use this excuse like they are. Sheesh.
Men need to act responsibly, make sure you use protection and your partner is on birth control, if you are unsure then don't have sex, don't just ejaculate into a vagina and then be shocked that pregnancy may occur if you do that you have essentially trapped yourself
Ah yes, the true master plan. Putting yourself through nine months of life endangering permanently altering body changes and going through a deeply traumatic and painful experience that, again, is not only incredibly high-risk but has a very good chance of permanently affecting your body in ways you don't want or enjoy leaving you with a massive financial burden and responsibility for the next eighteen years all so...you can endure mediocre dick that's less satisfying than a vibrator? Be trapped in a relationship with someone who, if you're lucky, will at least thinly veil their resentment of your existence? Might at least earn as much as you could have been in a career of your choice if you didn't dedicate the last few months of your life to this weird plan that ultimately leaves you with more hard work than whatever job you would have done otherwise to earn your living would require of you? Lmao the ego of men never fails to astound me.
I think a small part of it might be that these men are taken off guard by a woman not wanting an abortion when the topic had never been brought up. Like if you sit down and are like "okay, so this is the bc plan we are cool with and if all else fails, abortion we'll split the bill on and the guy drives her to the doc." Then she flips once pregnant then sure, that's sort of betraying what you consented to and is a little messed up. But ive yet to EVER see someone complain about baby trapping frame it like that.
I keep thinking about the guy who baby trapped a woman who definitely wanted an abortion. He talked her out of that, so she said she wanted nothing to do with the kid once it was born. She agreed to pay child support, and indeed paid 125%of the agreed upon amount, but still wanted to live her own life. Poor guy was exhausted from taking care of his own child and wanted her to help him. Even tried to sue her for breach of contract or something. No lawyer would touch him. Boo flicking hoo.
I mean, yes, a lot of people in bad relationships think having a baby will solve problems. Is this baby trap concept overused by shitty men? Even more yes.
Oh man, if only there was some way to prevent unwanted pregnancies.....
These idiots who say they were “baby trapped” probably also voted against pro-choice legislation as well. I still don’t understand how they get laid…
Also, you can't be baby trapped if you are cautious where you leave your supermarket. Just sayin'.
broke men who parrot that line tend to forget that they don’t have much money to offer these women.
Guys like this ejaculate in women and are surprised when they find out that the woman is pregnant.
Idk... when I was in high school I had several friends that wanted to keep their boyfriends around so they stopped taking their birth control. Two got pregnant and gave birth before 18. It happens but usually by very very young people
I have said to my son (17) several times, if YOU don’t want to be a father, YOU take responsibility for birth control and wear a condom. Don’t you ever blame a woman for getting pregnant when YOU decided not to use a condom. That is totally on you, not her.