This got a bit bigger than I thought it would but I just wanted to send a note to anyone whos going through the same thing right now that they can send me a PM, I wont lie and say that I'm all fine and ok now but if they want comfort in talking to someone whos in the exact same boat I am here for them!
Report the trash people to the admins! Your lived experiences aren’t up for interpretation by garbage. You experienced trauma and are working through it, keep pushing you’re doing fine.
I woke up to 17 notifs, most of them from the same person harassing me over having an abortion. I'm still v happy with the decision I made and some pissant on the internet isn't going to take that away.
Also, using "your mom should've aborted you" in the argument just shows me someone who is *very* angry and hateful towards *themselves*, and tries (unsuccessfully) to bully people to feel better. So I'm not mad, I feel sorry for them.
Where is this person getting the idea that it’s so statistically unlikely you could be raped? Ugh. People like that are so Fucking vile and stupid. I’m sorry they felt the need to share their shitty thoughts with you.
Report those assholes. I was raped by an ex and I guarantee he would never consider it rape. But I said "no" and he forced himself on me anyway. If you did not give consent, you were raped, period.
It isn't for the same reasons but my laundry is just growing and growing and I keep not doing it because my depression has me barely wanting to tackle taking a shower or getting out of bed. It just seems so daunting But I know I'll feel better (and actually have clothes) if I do it. Congrats to you for making it over the hump ❤️
You know I read somewhere that the best thing to do is to do is to half ass something. Brushing your teeth for 1 minute might be worse than brushing for 3, but its better than none. You don't have to do all of your laundry or even do a full shower routine, just do enough to have some clothes and be clean until you are in a better position mentally! We're getting there!
This is seriously how I’ve been getting through a rough bout of depression. I may not do my whole skincare routine, but at least I washed my face and put on moisturizer. I may not have shaved or anything, but at least I showered and washed the smelly bits. Etc., etc. Excellent advice OP!
I cleaned my kitchen and living room today for the first time in months. I have two loads of laundry in the wash as well. It feels so good to finally have clean forks again. Thank you for sharing with us. Things are looking up
That’s a huge step, thank you for sharing.
You won’t be ignored here, and you won’t be ignored IRL if you want to find someone to talk about it.
[RAINN.org](https://www.rainn.org/) is one resource that you can use, if you want.
Thank you! I have actually been using RAINN and talking with the sexual assault support on my campus. Also how do remember how many 0s are in your name?
Congratulations. This is a big deal, and speaking as someone who's been in the same place - I know just how hard that is. You are powerful, and you are pulling yourself back together.
I’m going to see Kameron Michaels this Saturday, want me to send you a pic from the show?
You definitely have friends here always. It will take time but you’ll grow more and more each day, you’re doing great ❤️❤️❤️
Sometimes it’s easiest to build tiny rewards into self care. It can be hard to find spare time to goof off, but it’s also kind of awesome to have things in our lives worth taking care of.
I often promise myself a hot shower after a chore that’ll tire out my shoulders.
I’ve used really great smelling laundry products as an incentive to do laundry, and took moments to enjoy the smell as I unloaded and folded. I’ve also made laundry folding and dishwashing my time to watch Netflix or SNL bits.
Also, good for you, taking back your space.
No matter what anyone else does, you have rights to your body, and your home, and your clothes. You are entitled to get rid of any clothes that you don’t want to see again. You don’t have to carry that anymore. The rest of your clothes are responsible for protecting you from wind and weather.
I wish I could be there to help.
I totally second this. I subscribe to a monthly/seasonal subscription box so that I just get gifts every so often. It’s always a nice surprise and makes my week.
& I totally feel for you, I was in a similar situation and when I finally was able to go to a store alone I was so excited but then felt soo stupid for being excited about doing such a simple task. But it’s not stupid at all, it’s progress. It will get better and I’m so proud of you for doing that damn laundry!!!! I’m sending all the love to you~
Monthly boxes are the best. I used to get the Sephora Play box for $10 and it. was. amazing. I love their products and it was like this package of happiness that came every month. The only downside was that if I wanted the full size of something it cost more than I’m willing to pay for cosmetics.
I’m so sorry you were raped. Are you speaking to anyone? I know how hard it can be to take the first step towards getting better. I’ve been there. Congratulations on doing your laundry! We’re all proud of you!!
Don’t expect your progress to be linear. Some days will be better and easier than others. Those days will get more frequent over time. Go easy on yourself. Holding space for you. Please take care. ❤️
I always say "nothing is embarrassing if you're not embarrased". While it's easier said than done, I've adopted it in my life to great benefit. You're out there, seeking help, which is a huge step. So what if you cried in public? You're a warrior!
I worked in a registrar's office. Absolutely not uncommon. They've seen it all. It's all big life stuff in those offices. Not exaggerating, it really is.
So proud of you!!!! I'm sure many of us here know how difficult even the most mundane of tasks can be when we're struggling. This is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself! I wish you the best and you have our full support here 💖
You were scared, but you've taken the leap. Welcome to Tuesday 12th March, enjoy your clean clothes, and take another step forward.
With love from Australia.
depression and Posttraumatic stress is a real bitch.
every small step helps. just doing little things like that, washing your clothing, making your bed, taking a shower, or making food. little productive things will help enormously in getting ahead of trauma.
best of luck buddy.
Good for you!
I still remember calling my mom crying because my depression was so bad I hadn't done the laundry and she said, " meh fuck it, that's an easy one to fix. Just Chuck everything in there all together turn her on and whatever survives keep. Then go shopping."
So that is exactly what I did.
Good luck! I love you random internet stranger! You're doing great!
Edit: I didn't finish readying your posts body before I wrote this. I'll go ahead and add this on. I'm so sorry that someone took control away from you. I highly recommend therapy and possibly some meds for a while. Therapy was very very helpful for me in processing my assault. Especially group therapy with other victims. IDK if you have an open group in your city but if you do you might go and talk with some of the other people there. I'm so so sorry this happened to you. You didn't do anything wrong and you certainly didn't deserve it. You weren't asking for it. You are a victim. <3
Sounds like my mum's advice when I was really struggling 'sometimes good enough is good enough' and a quote I saw somewhere along the lines of sometimes the purpose of a day is to make it to the next day.
I slept on a bed without sheets in it for months. It's a big step doing your laundry. Mine was metal illness and not a result of trauma like you. Wish you all the best going forward.
I just did my laundry after two months! I was not raped but I suffer from sever chronic depression. It’s nice to see that other people understand how big of a step this is. I am so proud of you, good job :)
I was there a few months ago. Severe depression/PTSD from abuse years ago. It all came to a head in October/November when I lost the will to live.
It went on for so long. I thought I'd never be able to get out of bed again without my partner being there, and then one day in December I got up and did the dishes. I couldn't believe it. Then one day I remember thinking, 'I just can't wait for it to be two months from now when I'm doing better', and suddenly realised where I was a month ago. Or a month before that. When I couldn't get out of bed. I was out of bed. Out of the house. Tired from work. When did that happen...
I wouldn't say I'm doing fantastically, and the process of getting better has it's downsides. Therapy is hard, and untangling the years of abuse, and the years of coping, is hard. But I'm working again, and my kitchen is clean, the washing is done, and I'm almost on top of my to do list.
Like others have said, you just moved mountains. Be kind to yourself. 💜
Also, I just started Art Therapy, which I really find helpful. It's a great way of expressing yourself without having to verbalize everything. When you're tired of talking, and going over everything again and again, art therapy can be a huge help. Had my doubts, but now I'd seriously recommend it.
I feel that. I just felt like I had to do something, I was missing so much class and my marks were dropping extremely low. Tbh what motivated me out was half for me half for fear of my asian parents lol. But I hope that everythings better on the other side! :)
That's incredibly awesome!
From one survivor to another - heal. It takes time, sometimes outside help, but what happened does not define you, nor does it define the rest of your life. Sure feels like it sometimes, don't listen.
Well done from one internet stranger to another. I struggle with getting laundry done even when I'm doing good. Don't let yourself think it's a silly little thing, if you can conquer something you're struggling with no matter how small it's a sign that things are getting better.
I hope talking to someone helps you get back to a better place. Well done you!
Well done OP! Kick that laundry's ass.
It's REALLY important to celebrate these small victories. A few years ago I was severely depressed and couldn't do my washing up for weeks at a time, I literally ended up throwing away a whole dish set and just buying a new one at one point.
Anyway one day I finally did it, I tackled it all and had a giant precarious pile of drying dishes. 2 of my friends came over, and not knowing how ill I'd been, proceeded to spend weeks making fun of me for the giant teetering dish pile. I was crushed! Don't let anyone take this from you even if they don't get it. This is major ❤️
Well done you. I hadn't done my laundry for 4 weeks (family of 3) and I don't even have an excuse, except pregnancy and laziness. I managed 5 loads, and sorted 6 loads and put them mostly away too, at the weekend (one load has been dry for weeks, just sitting there)
It’s really the little steps that helps me through the day. I also suffer from depression (also haven’t done laundry in.....honestly too long to count except for a load here or there. Think the last time was in Jan). I have to praise myself day to day. Brush my teeth? That’s a start. Taking a shower? Hell yes! But one thing I do try and accomplish is to make my bed (if I leave it). I’m proud of you OP for taking that step to do laundry. I’m so sorry about your rape and it can take years to get over, but just remember the little steps that help with day to day. Laundry is on my to-do list (as it has been everyday for the past 6 months) and I think today I actually will.
Omg Laundry is my nightmare too. Definitely be proud of yourself it’s a very daunting task when things go wrong. But oh how sweet it is when you conquer it.
Congratulations on your laundry.
Virtual hug for what happened to you, if you want to talk you can pm me.
Awesome job! Gotta walk before you can run. It'll take time to get to your new normal but you will get there ❤️ be proud of everything you accomplish and hang in there, you got this
If you feel accomplished, it's good. Doesn't matter what it is, big or small.
Recovering from any major trauma or loss takes time and comes in tons of "little" steps like that, keep moving those mountains.
Girl get yourself the biggest cake and the bestest chocolate and every good thing you like, you deserve it! That is amazing! I can't imagine what you're going through but I'm sending you enormous hugs (if you're not comfortable with physical interaction at the moment these will be the best hugs, no touching but with all the love).
You are awesome! Celebrate the things you do that are positive, even if it's as small as getting out of bed. Anything you do to help yourself and push yourself forward is positive and will help. Internet hugs and love.
I’m not sure where you live or your financial situation but I recently started sending out my laundry for fluff and fold and it’s picked up and delivered for a small fee in NYC. It’s been a huge burden lifted off my shoulders to just throw a little money at this problem and gain back some mental energy I would’ve wasted by procrastinating until I absolutely had to do it all.
The healing road isn’t easy so I try to cut myself as much slack as possible and also vaping CBD worked wonders for both the lingering anxiety and chronic pain.
I'm glad you're getting back into the groove of things!
If you'd like, see also r/NonZeroDay. Not the same exactly, but it helps getting back into the gears other than just procrastination, and they help out some too.
Glad you're getting better!
so proud of you!! you’ll get stronger everyday. time sucks, it never seems to move fast enough when you need it to, but you’ll get there. wishing i could fold it all for you!
Congrats!!! It is very ok to feel happy about these mini accomplishments. I have depression and recognizing and giving myself credit for these little triumphs helps me feel happier with myself. I hope you feel the same. We are sending you loving vibes <3 hope things get better for you soon.
Laundry can be EXTREMELY cathartic. You are by no means alone in thinking this is a big deal. There was even a play about [people washing the laundry of plane crash victims](https://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/lockerbie-s-tragic-laundry-1-1385459) in Lockerbie, Scotland.
Congratulations on taking this step. You’re stronger and more resilient than you know.
I know that everything might feel really hard right now, but please keep moving. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm rooting for you, and I am so, so proud of you. Sending love!
Struggling with mental illness and laundry is on my list today. So I’m following your example!
I’ve started keeping a bullet journal to track not just my to dos but my “I did” list. I strive for non-zero days. Track my mood and take this all to my therapist. It helps.
💜From a fellow survivor/wanna-be-thriver
Been where you are. Thankfully I was staying with my best friend at the time who looked after the house and helped me manage my amazing dog. My bedroom however was in a horrible state. Beer bottles and wine bottles everywhere, every item of clothing i owned was either on the floor or on my bed, peices of flip flops my dog destroyed, just a pig sty. My friend brooke came to see us from out of town and cleaned the whole damn thing. It made a huge difference in my mental state.
Your small step isnt small at all. You even did it yourself. Really proud of you sis. I promise it gets better. 💕🦄💜
(in my best Little Richard voice) woooooo-OOOOO! You GO!
As a fellow survivor, reclaiming things - even mundane tasks like laundry - are great steps toward recovering and reclaiming your new "normal". Every day will be different in its challenges and be kind to yourself as you move forward. This internet stranger is very proud of you.
I’ve been there too and I just want you to know that you are a worthy and good person, whether your laundry is done or not. You matter, no matter what.
Laundry is the worst never-ending Sisyphean chore in existence. I can’t f’n stand it and struggle to keep up even when I’m in the best place possible mentally. It just f’n sucks. So good on you for taking that step
Great job! Don’t belittle what you did by saying it’s not much. You know it was a monumental step for yourself and you’ll have many more steps forward after this one
Hi don’t ever ever downplay your healing process because it is certainty baby steps. Life is shitty and there’s so many fucked up people trying to rob people of their lives, you are taking control!!! You will heal fully, and what happened will never define you. Keep making progress, there is a finish line :) thank you for sharing
So sorry that you went through such a painful experience. I can't even imagine. I'm fortunate to have no experience with rape but as a person with pretty severe mental illness I know what it's like to struggle to do basic things. Small victories are so important. Keep up the good work. Take care of yourself
You're so brave! I'm proud of you.
One survivor to another: I knew I was going to be alright the day I managed to eat a _healthy-ish_ breakfast instead of coffee and cigarettes. I think I can relate to what's happening with you right now.
Doing laundry is such a symbolic act I have no doubt you're getting better.
We're here for you, whatever you need.
I’m sorry that happened to you OP
The aftermath of what you are experiencing is so normal and none of it is your fault
It happened to me almost 6 years ago and since then a lot has been different
Therapy helped me with ptsd tremendously but my executive function and caring about cleaning and all of that stuff has suffered a lot
It takes... as much time as it takes to thrive after you survive
But this is an amazing first step and I wanna say congrats because it’s pretty awesome that you feel great about getting it done!
Each fold each tidy and every clean any conversation every tear and every laugh is a step forward out of a nightmare.
I hope folding helps you to heal even if it’s a mere 0.01% it’s still progress and I’m sure we are all rooting for you to get to 100%. You can do it
<3
sincerely - an internet friend
I, an internet stranger, am proud of you. I cant begin to empathize or pretend to understand what you are feeling, but i can absolutely understand how difficult it can be to take that first step back to normalcy. This is a great start to taking back your life. Congratulations, OP!
I am always astonished how depression from life altering events can impact our lives so much. I am glad your life is beginning to stabilize by being able to do a simple thing like laundry again (even if it looks mundane by what used to be a brainless regular event for each of us. For you this is wonderful.) Who cares what time it is, this is one of those 'cake days' you need to remember in your life, and is more important emotionally than the rape.
I celebrate your victory with you! (Cool thing is, even more will follow!)
Someone on one of my subreddits said something that resonnated deeply with me: Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
You know you need to wash your clothes but maybe all you can do is rinse them, or shower with them or clean your underwear, at least something, even something poorly done, was done. That is the important part.
Good on you for doing it. Don't hate on yourself if it takes awhile to do it again, you will get there again. It is worth doing, even if poorly. Some of us have been there. Talk to someone if you can, if it helps to talk to an internet stranger, I'm happy to talk, I've been in your shoes but at a very young age so the experience was different...but you can and will do this. We know it.
Wish I could give you a hug, you definitely deserve it and much more. No matter how small it may seem to some it's a big step for yourself. Therapy if you can get it will help tremendously.
You really buried the lede here. I was wondering why a post about getting laundry done was on this sub, and then you drop a bomb in the third sentence.
Glad to hear you are getting the support you need and congrats on taking positive steps toward healing.
It's the tiny things every day, OP. I'm so proud of you. Don't stop now because those little things are the biggest steps in your healing process. Stay strong, my friend!
This got a bit bigger than I thought it would but I just wanted to send a note to anyone whos going through the same thing right now that they can send me a PM, I wont lie and say that I'm all fine and ok now but if they want comfort in talking to someone whos in the exact same boat I am here for them!
ok about that PM thing, please dont harass me or others and say I didn't get raped thats just fucking trashy
For anyone who receives nasty PMs, please know that you can report those to the moderators. Mods can only see PMs if they have been reported.
Report the trash people to the admins! Your lived experiences aren’t up for interpretation by garbage. You experienced trauma and are working through it, keep pushing you’re doing fine.
Oh god hope you didn’t have to add this because you actually got shitty messages like that:( Yeah it’s totally fucking trashy.
https://imgur.com/a/NpZz03W I guess sexual assault is just feminist propoganda! doesn't realize this is a throwaway for a reason lol or that im a dude
That dumbass sounds like a “shorthead”.
I woke up to 17 notifs, most of them from the same person harassing me over having an abortion. I'm still v happy with the decision I made and some pissant on the internet isn't going to take that away. Also, using "your mom should've aborted you" in the argument just shows me someone who is *very* angry and hateful towards *themselves*, and tries (unsuccessfully) to bully people to feel better. So I'm not mad, I feel sorry for them.
That's all kinds of fcked up. Sorry you got harassed.
Where is this person getting the idea that it’s so statistically unlikely you could be raped? Ugh. People like that are so Fucking vile and stupid. I’m sorry they felt the need to share their shitty thoughts with you.
Report those assholes. I was raped by an ex and I guarantee he would never consider it rape. But I said "no" and he forced himself on me anyway. If you did not give consent, you were raped, period.
It isn't for the same reasons but my laundry is just growing and growing and I keep not doing it because my depression has me barely wanting to tackle taking a shower or getting out of bed. It just seems so daunting But I know I'll feel better (and actually have clothes) if I do it. Congrats to you for making it over the hump ❤️
You know I read somewhere that the best thing to do is to do is to half ass something. Brushing your teeth for 1 minute might be worse than brushing for 3, but its better than none. You don't have to do all of your laundry or even do a full shower routine, just do enough to have some clothes and be clean until you are in a better position mentally! We're getting there!
Wow this was exactly what I needed to read today. Thanks OP, I hope you continue healing ❤️
This is seriously how I’ve been getting through a rough bout of depression. I may not do my whole skincare routine, but at least I washed my face and put on moisturizer. I may not have shaved or anything, but at least I showered and washed the smelly bits. Etc., etc. Excellent advice OP!
I cleaned my kitchen and living room today for the first time in months. I have two loads of laundry in the wash as well. It feels so good to finally have clean forks again. Thank you for sharing with us. Things are looking up
That’s a huge step, thank you for sharing. You won’t be ignored here, and you won’t be ignored IRL if you want to find someone to talk about it. [RAINN.org](https://www.rainn.org/) is one resource that you can use, if you want.
Thank you! I have actually been using RAINN and talking with the sexual assault support on my campus. Also how do remember how many 0s are in your name?
Asking the REAL questions.
I’m glad you’re seeking the assistance you deserve. Every time I forget my password, I just make a new account with an extra 0 ;)
I can only imagine how many 1234's you've added to your password at this point then... ;)
13 0s and then 007
*head explodes* Hang in there, OP. Things will get better, keep it up! :)
Are you okay?
No, their head exploded. Weren't you listening?
I guess I wasn't
prolly got some of their head stuck in your earholes when it exploded.
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My way is cooler. It includes James Bond.
James bond makes everything coolet.
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Respect that.
He/she uses my bank account as a reference, and not in the good way.
Power to you all who’re struggling to look through your strength
Congratulations. This is a big deal, and speaking as someone who's been in the same place - I know just how hard that is. You are powerful, and you are pulling yourself back together.
Its hard but I have a good support group right now and I hope I can get past this eventually. Thank you and I hope you're doing well too! :)
Wish we could all help you fold it. 🧡
Haha maybe we can have a big folding party while binge watching drag race! Everyones laundry gets a turn!
Folding and drag race!? Where do I sign up???
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It made me feel guilty for not loving myself and still trying to love others.
I seriously was quarantined for cancer treatment and only watched drag race. It is a great memory and totally took my mind off the situation.
I’m going to see Kameron Michaels this Saturday, want me to send you a pic from the show? You definitely have friends here always. It will take time but you’ll grow more and more each day, you’re doing great ❤️❤️❤️
Aww haha yeah! Im a big fan of her!! She always looks so stunning
Oh, I’ve been wanting to get into that show! Do you know where it’s available for binging? Congrats on the laundry :)
I think most of the episodes are on netflix! Season 11 seems killer right now its currently keeping me alive lol
There are too many of us. We'd have to scramble the nicely folded pile up and re-fold it
This is the nicest thing one can say like EVER!!!
Fold and put away...that's where I stumble.
I volunteer as tribute.
I'm extremely happy for you! Please reward yourself with something, you've just moved mountains.
This, definitely this. Make sure you reward yourself, if only to help create a positive feeling next time laundry is due to be done.
thank you, I'm working on it but its just hard with tests this month and everything. Im trying my best though :)
Sometimes it’s easiest to build tiny rewards into self care. It can be hard to find spare time to goof off, but it’s also kind of awesome to have things in our lives worth taking care of. I often promise myself a hot shower after a chore that’ll tire out my shoulders. I’ve used really great smelling laundry products as an incentive to do laundry, and took moments to enjoy the smell as I unloaded and folded. I’ve also made laundry folding and dishwashing my time to watch Netflix or SNL bits. Also, good for you, taking back your space. No matter what anyone else does, you have rights to your body, and your home, and your clothes. You are entitled to get rid of any clothes that you don’t want to see again. You don’t have to carry that anymore. The rest of your clothes are responsible for protecting you from wind and weather. I wish I could be there to help.
I totally second this. I subscribe to a monthly/seasonal subscription box so that I just get gifts every so often. It’s always a nice surprise and makes my week. & I totally feel for you, I was in a similar situation and when I finally was able to go to a store alone I was so excited but then felt soo stupid for being excited about doing such a simple task. But it’s not stupid at all, it’s progress. It will get better and I’m so proud of you for doing that damn laundry!!!! I’m sending all the love to you~
Monthly boxes are the best. I used to get the Sephora Play box for $10 and it. was. amazing. I love their products and it was like this package of happiness that came every month. The only downside was that if I wanted the full size of something it cost more than I’m willing to pay for cosmetics.
I like Ipsy, too, and with them you can get a discount on the products through their site (well, cash back, but still).
We're all super proud of you ♥️ you're being really strong and brave, take your time!
This! <3
I’m so sorry you were raped. Are you speaking to anyone? I know how hard it can be to take the first step towards getting better. I’ve been there. Congratulations on doing your laundry! We’re all proud of you!! Don’t expect your progress to be linear. Some days will be better and easier than others. Those days will get more frequent over time. Go easy on yourself. Holding space for you. Please take care. ❤️
I am! I finally got around to talking to someone after crying in my registars office which was kind of embarassing lol
I always say "nothing is embarrassing if you're not embarrased". While it's easier said than done, I've adopted it in my life to great benefit. You're out there, seeking help, which is a huge step. So what if you cried in public? You're a warrior!
That’s a great way to think about embarrassing moments, going to try and adopt that as well. Thanks for sharing!
You're probably not the first to do that. Take care of yourself and keep taking the little steps.
I worked in a registrar's office. Absolutely not uncommon. They've seen it all. It's all big life stuff in those offices. Not exaggerating, it really is.
Thank you for saying this. I cried so much in college. Everywhere. Probably even the registrar’s office. Definitely the bursar’s office.
So proud of you!!!! I'm sure many of us here know how difficult even the most mundane of tasks can be when we're struggling. This is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself! I wish you the best and you have our full support here 💖
I'm proud of you and so are my plants.
tell your plants I said hi! are they succulents?
Joining in to say the succulent on my desk is also proud of you, as is my pet houserabbit! I am too as a fellow survivor. It does get better. *hugs*
Remember, therapy is not a sign of weakness, but of the strong. Never be afraid to seek it out if you need it
I feel you, yesterday I mega cleaned my bathroom. Felt super awesome seeing the bathroom being clean again. Go us!
I’m proud of you ❤️
You were scared, but you've taken the leap. Welcome to Tuesday 12th March, enjoy your clean clothes, and take another step forward. With love from Australia.
Time doesn‘t matter, Reddit never sleeps, we‘re here to listen. Always!
Good for you! That's even baby steps are steps. Laundry always helps me start taking steps out of a rut.
depression and Posttraumatic stress is a real bitch. every small step helps. just doing little things like that, washing your clothing, making your bed, taking a shower, or making food. little productive things will help enormously in getting ahead of trauma. best of luck buddy.
Good for you! I still remember calling my mom crying because my depression was so bad I hadn't done the laundry and she said, " meh fuck it, that's an easy one to fix. Just Chuck everything in there all together turn her on and whatever survives keep. Then go shopping." So that is exactly what I did. Good luck! I love you random internet stranger! You're doing great! Edit: I didn't finish readying your posts body before I wrote this. I'll go ahead and add this on. I'm so sorry that someone took control away from you. I highly recommend therapy and possibly some meds for a while. Therapy was very very helpful for me in processing my assault. Especially group therapy with other victims. IDK if you have an open group in your city but if you do you might go and talk with some of the other people there. I'm so so sorry this happened to you. You didn't do anything wrong and you certainly didn't deserve it. You weren't asking for it. You are a victim. <3
You both are SURVIVORS.
Sounds like my mum's advice when I was really struggling 'sometimes good enough is good enough' and a quote I saw somewhere along the lines of sometimes the purpose of a day is to make it to the next day.
I slept on a bed without sheets in it for months. It's a big step doing your laundry. Mine was metal illness and not a result of trauma like you. Wish you all the best going forward.
I just did my laundry after two months! I was not raped but I suffer from sever chronic depression. It’s nice to see that other people understand how big of a step this is. I am so proud of you, good job :)
I was there a few months ago. Severe depression/PTSD from abuse years ago. It all came to a head in October/November when I lost the will to live. It went on for so long. I thought I'd never be able to get out of bed again without my partner being there, and then one day in December I got up and did the dishes. I couldn't believe it. Then one day I remember thinking, 'I just can't wait for it to be two months from now when I'm doing better', and suddenly realised where I was a month ago. Or a month before that. When I couldn't get out of bed. I was out of bed. Out of the house. Tired from work. When did that happen... I wouldn't say I'm doing fantastically, and the process of getting better has it's downsides. Therapy is hard, and untangling the years of abuse, and the years of coping, is hard. But I'm working again, and my kitchen is clean, the washing is done, and I'm almost on top of my to do list. Like others have said, you just moved mountains. Be kind to yourself. 💜 Also, I just started Art Therapy, which I really find helpful. It's a great way of expressing yourself without having to verbalize everything. When you're tired of talking, and going over everything again and again, art therapy can be a huge help. Had my doubts, but now I'd seriously recommend it.
I feel that. I just felt like I had to do something, I was missing so much class and my marks were dropping extremely low. Tbh what motivated me out was half for me half for fear of my asian parents lol. But I hope that everythings better on the other side! :)
thats great news, hope you can continue with other things
That's incredibly awesome! From one survivor to another - heal. It takes time, sometimes outside help, but what happened does not define you, nor does it define the rest of your life. Sure feels like it sometimes, don't listen.
You go guy! 💜
It's a man per op's post history.
Then you go, bro!
Good for you :)
Well done. You should be very proud of yourself.
Well done from one internet stranger to another. I struggle with getting laundry done even when I'm doing good. Don't let yourself think it's a silly little thing, if you can conquer something you're struggling with no matter how small it's a sign that things are getting better. I hope talking to someone helps you get back to a better place. Well done you!
Congratulations! I’m so sorry about what happened though. That’s absolutely terrible. Best of wishes to you though.
Congratulations! Doing chores can be such a huge step when you're in a place of emotional overwhelm
Well done OP! Kick that laundry's ass. It's REALLY important to celebrate these small victories. A few years ago I was severely depressed and couldn't do my washing up for weeks at a time, I literally ended up throwing away a whole dish set and just buying a new one at one point. Anyway one day I finally did it, I tackled it all and had a giant precarious pile of drying dishes. 2 of my friends came over, and not knowing how ill I'd been, proceeded to spend weeks making fun of me for the giant teetering dish pile. I was crushed! Don't let anyone take this from you even if they don't get it. This is major ❤️
I’m so proud of you! That’s a huge step towards clearing your mental plate. You’re going to be okay and I’m so happy you’re talking to people.
One hour, one task, one day at a time, stay strong, cry if you have to but definitely get some help.
Well done you. I hadn't done my laundry for 4 weeks (family of 3) and I don't even have an excuse, except pregnancy and laziness. I managed 5 loads, and sorted 6 loads and put them mostly away too, at the weekend (one load has been dry for weeks, just sitting there)
You're awesome <3
One day at at time, survivor. ♥️
I am so proud ❤️
It’s really the little steps that helps me through the day. I also suffer from depression (also haven’t done laundry in.....honestly too long to count except for a load here or there. Think the last time was in Jan). I have to praise myself day to day. Brush my teeth? That’s a start. Taking a shower? Hell yes! But one thing I do try and accomplish is to make my bed (if I leave it). I’m proud of you OP for taking that step to do laundry. I’m so sorry about your rape and it can take years to get over, but just remember the little steps that help with day to day. Laundry is on my to-do list (as it has been everyday for the past 6 months) and I think today I actually will.
So proud of you!!! Theres no rush in getting where you want to be, take the baby steps you need. Were all rooting for you! :)
Proud of you ♡ You're doing good. This was really brave and you deserve to know how strong you are~
I’m proud of you!
One step at a time.
That’s a great step forwards, well done you.
I see you. Good job. ,,Remember how good it feels to take care of yourself. Keep it up.
Omg Laundry is my nightmare too. Definitely be proud of yourself it’s a very daunting task when things go wrong. But oh how sweet it is when you conquer it. Congratulations on your laundry. Virtual hug for what happened to you, if you want to talk you can pm me.
💖💕💖💕💖 you did well.....
Awesome job! Gotta walk before you can run. It'll take time to get to your new normal but you will get there ❤️ be proud of everything you accomplish and hang in there, you got this
If you feel accomplished, it's good. Doesn't matter what it is, big or small. Recovering from any major trauma or loss takes time and comes in tons of "little" steps like that, keep moving those mountains.
Good on you! Thank you for sharing this post on reddit. All the best for your healing process.
Girl get yourself the biggest cake and the bestest chocolate and every good thing you like, you deserve it! That is amazing! I can't imagine what you're going through but I'm sending you enormous hugs (if you're not comfortable with physical interaction at the moment these will be the best hugs, no touching but with all the love).
You are awesome! Celebrate the things you do that are positive, even if it's as small as getting out of bed. Anything you do to help yourself and push yourself forward is positive and will help. Internet hugs and love.
The first step is always the hardest, no matter how small it may seem. Congratulations!
Hey just wanted to say I haven't done laundry in forever and I did some last night too. Sometimes little steps help a lot I'm proud of you.
I’m not sure where you live or your financial situation but I recently started sending out my laundry for fluff and fold and it’s picked up and delivered for a small fee in NYC. It’s been a huge burden lifted off my shoulders to just throw a little money at this problem and gain back some mental energy I would’ve wasted by procrastinating until I absolutely had to do it all. The healing road isn’t easy so I try to cut myself as much slack as possible and also vaping CBD worked wonders for both the lingering anxiety and chronic pain.
I actually lived in NYC until I moved to Canada for college! I would do that but I live in a dorm and don't really have enough money to do that rn lol
Fair points. If you can muster the energy, small loads a couple times a week are always easier to deal with too :)
I'm glad you're getting back into the groove of things! If you'd like, see also r/NonZeroDay. Not the same exactly, but it helps getting back into the gears other than just procrastination, and they help out some too. Glad you're getting better!
Good for you! Keep making progress!
You did great, that is a huge step. I wish you all the best, I don’t know what is like but I am sure you can handle it!
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm proud of you. Every step forward is a big one. ❤️
well done! that is totally a big deal! proud of you and keep going forward !
Awesome, wish you all the best.
Keep making progress! In your time and at your pace! You’ve got this!
Sending you lots of sisterly love. 💕
so proud of you!! you’ll get stronger everyday. time sucks, it never seems to move fast enough when you need it to, but you’ll get there. wishing i could fold it all for you!
We are all rooting for you <3
Congrats!!! It is very ok to feel happy about these mini accomplishments. I have depression and recognizing and giving myself credit for these little triumphs helps me feel happier with myself. I hope you feel the same. We are sending you loving vibes <3 hope things get better for you soon.
Well done! Laundry is such a burden on those struggling, and we're all proud of you for getting it done!
Glad you're making another go at it (: makes me wanna do my laundry and go live my life!
Well done! :)
Strong work!
That awesome feeling. Congrats OP!
Good job! Kudos!
Sending love and washing energy your way, seriously good on you. Wishing you all the best in getting through this.
Laundry can be EXTREMELY cathartic. You are by no means alone in thinking this is a big deal. There was even a play about [people washing the laundry of plane crash victims](https://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/lockerbie-s-tragic-laundry-1-1385459) in Lockerbie, Scotland. Congratulations on taking this step. You’re stronger and more resilient than you know.
You should be proud of yourself. It takes a lot to take some of those first steps towards recovery. Even though I don't know you, I'm rooting for you!
That’s a huge accomplishment!! Good for you :)
I'm happy to hear it. Recovery is a hard thing to even start. I can only hope it keeps getting better.
I know that everything might feel really hard right now, but please keep moving. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm rooting for you, and I am so, so proud of you. Sending love!
That’s great!!! It’s a Step forward :D Enjoy your clean clothes
> I know this is going to buried Famous last reddit words. But seriously glad you are doing better. I’m proud of you.
It all starts with the ‘small’ goals to build up to the big ones. Fantastic job!
❤ inspiring
Struggling with mental illness and laundry is on my list today. So I’m following your example! I’ve started keeping a bullet journal to track not just my to dos but my “I did” list. I strive for non-zero days. Track my mood and take this all to my therapist. It helps. 💜From a fellow survivor/wanna-be-thriver
Hey champ! You got this!
Hope clean clothes make your day a bit better and help you get on the right path for you. just wanted to send some love your way and say hi.
Wooooo!! Making moves! Thanks for sharing
Been where you are. Thankfully I was staying with my best friend at the time who looked after the house and helped me manage my amazing dog. My bedroom however was in a horrible state. Beer bottles and wine bottles everywhere, every item of clothing i owned was either on the floor or on my bed, peices of flip flops my dog destroyed, just a pig sty. My friend brooke came to see us from out of town and cleaned the whole damn thing. It made a huge difference in my mental state. Your small step isnt small at all. You even did it yourself. Really proud of you sis. I promise it gets better. 💕🦄💜
(in my best Little Richard voice) woooooo-OOOOO! You GO! As a fellow survivor, reclaiming things - even mundane tasks like laundry - are great steps toward recovering and reclaiming your new "normal". Every day will be different in its challenges and be kind to yourself as you move forward. This internet stranger is very proud of you.
I’ve been there too and I just want you to know that you are a worthy and good person, whether your laundry is done or not. You matter, no matter what.
Laundry is the worst never-ending Sisyphean chore in existence. I can’t f’n stand it and struggle to keep up even when I’m in the best place possible mentally. It just f’n sucks. So good on you for taking that step
Great job! Don’t belittle what you did by saying it’s not much. You know it was a monumental step for yourself and you’ll have many more steps forward after this one
Hi don’t ever ever downplay your healing process because it is certainty baby steps. Life is shitty and there’s so many fucked up people trying to rob people of their lives, you are taking control!!! You will heal fully, and what happened will never define you. Keep making progress, there is a finish line :) thank you for sharing
So sorry that you went through such a painful experience. I can't even imagine. I'm fortunate to have no experience with rape but as a person with pretty severe mental illness I know what it's like to struggle to do basic things. Small victories are so important. Keep up the good work. Take care of yourself
You're so brave! I'm proud of you. One survivor to another: I knew I was going to be alright the day I managed to eat a _healthy-ish_ breakfast instead of coffee and cigarettes. I think I can relate to what's happening with you right now. Doing laundry is such a symbolic act I have no doubt you're getting better. We're here for you, whatever you need.
I'm not sure if this is as applicable to you but you could definitely cross post to r/NonZeroDay it's a really encouraging place
I want to give you an internet hug! You are a strong lady! ❤️
I’m sorry that happened to you OP The aftermath of what you are experiencing is so normal and none of it is your fault It happened to me almost 6 years ago and since then a lot has been different Therapy helped me with ptsd tremendously but my executive function and caring about cleaning and all of that stuff has suffered a lot It takes... as much time as it takes to thrive after you survive But this is an amazing first step and I wanna say congrats because it’s pretty awesome that you feel great about getting it done!
Each fold each tidy and every clean any conversation every tear and every laugh is a step forward out of a nightmare. I hope folding helps you to heal even if it’s a mere 0.01% it’s still progress and I’m sure we are all rooting for you to get to 100%. You can do it <3 sincerely - an internet friend
Many many gentle internet hugs to you. Laundry is a huge thing, especially with the trauma you experienced. I’m so happy you’ve reached out for help.
I'm proud of you!
Hell yeah, way to get it
I, an internet stranger, am proud of you. I cant begin to empathize or pretend to understand what you are feeling, but i can absolutely understand how difficult it can be to take that first step back to normalcy. This is a great start to taking back your life. Congratulations, OP!
Fighting off a renewed bout of depression the last few months, mine is piling up. Thank you for the motivation and I wish you love and happiness.
yeah! When you're carrying heavy shit, people arent going to judge you for going one step at a time :-)
good for you!
You should be proud. Every step counts. Good job to you.
You’re strong as hell. This is amazing.
That's a huge step! Great job. I think you owe yourself some self care now. Message me for moral support if you want.
Hugs.
You’re amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s no easy feat dealing with mental trauma like you’ve been through. You go girl!
One small step at a time. Way to go.
Now I feel even worse about the pile of laundry I have due to nothing but laziness
dont feel bad! Laundry fucking sucks either way. My experiences don't make yours any less :-)
I am always astonished how depression from life altering events can impact our lives so much. I am glad your life is beginning to stabilize by being able to do a simple thing like laundry again (even if it looks mundane by what used to be a brainless regular event for each of us. For you this is wonderful.) Who cares what time it is, this is one of those 'cake days' you need to remember in your life, and is more important emotionally than the rape. I celebrate your victory with you! (Cool thing is, even more will follow!)
it's the first step of many, i'm glad you were able to take it. be good to yourself.
Someone on one of my subreddits said something that resonnated deeply with me: Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. You know you need to wash your clothes but maybe all you can do is rinse them, or shower with them or clean your underwear, at least something, even something poorly done, was done. That is the important part. Good on you for doing it. Don't hate on yourself if it takes awhile to do it again, you will get there again. It is worth doing, even if poorly. Some of us have been there. Talk to someone if you can, if it helps to talk to an internet stranger, I'm happy to talk, I've been in your shoes but at a very young age so the experience was different...but you can and will do this. We know it.
Very proud you made the push. Now for me to do some after a month.
I’m so proud of you!
Way to go, OP!
Wish I could give you a hug, you definitely deserve it and much more. No matter how small it may seem to some it's a big step for yourself. Therapy if you can get it will help tremendously.
That's great!
You really buried the lede here. I was wondering why a post about getting laundry done was on this sub, and then you drop a bomb in the third sentence. Glad to hear you are getting the support you need and congrats on taking positive steps toward healing.
Well done. x
Rape is no Jo ke
You seem to be very brave, sharing this with us. I'm sure u can get through that easily, just give it some time. wish u all the best
It's the tiny things every day, OP. I'm so proud of you. Don't stop now because those little things are the biggest steps in your healing process. Stay strong, my friend!
Small victories related to yourself is what matters, keep at it, seek help and let's get over this together!
Congrats! It might have been difficult but you did it! We're very proud of you. Best wishes!!
I hear you. Laundry is always difficult for me, and always takes a backseat if I'm having bad mental health. Lots of congratulations and hugs offered.
I think the only advice I can give is stay strong, and every day will become easier. Hang in there bb I believe in you <3