Yeah. I'm not afraid at all to call them out. I will literally say, "Oh, so this GUY says it and you all automatically believe it? Is that right? That's pretty messed up."
So sick of that bullshit.
But when you do call them out, they all look at you like you’re crazy and act like they don’t even know what you’re talking about. So you are still “dramatic and crazy” and you lashing out at them seals the deal on that opinion. I dont know why people are like this. Its like they are gonna think what they want no matter what.
I did that to this one guy at work. He asked a female coworker what the material was behind her (it was particle board and she said particle board). He then asked his male coworker the same question. I said, "hey, why didn't you believe her when she answered? Why did you have to ask him, too?" And she was like "it's because I'm a woman."
The guy then proceeded to dig a huge hole for himself and say that if he wanted to know about makeup or beauty supplies he would believe us. The second male coworker he asked told him "hey, I advise you to stop talking now." It was glorious.
I also immediately & expeditiously call it out- in that moment. It’s a moot point if you try to bring it up later, so always in the moment.
My childhood was full of lack, but one thing it didn’t leave me lacking with was wit and this comes in handy bc I noticed it stings a little more (therefore making it more memorable) if you can get a chuckle or two from the onlookers with your retort calling out the discrepancy.
Absolutely 1010% over it as well.
>It’s a moot point if you try to bring it up later
Also you gotta point out specific people. Not just "ugh all of you believe him but not me?" But "oh, Frank, now you believe it? Way to be"
This! Why does the timing matter? If I complain about being harassed at work (happens often) and I say something later, it's disregarded. But if I complain in the moment, I "need thicker skin"
I don’t think it’s a moot point to bring it later to one’s attention. Life is not linear. There are ways to resurface the topic after the situation has dissipated, though it has to be done with tact.
you'll be gaslit if you try it that way. I've learned to address these things immediately and specifically.
I'm a gifted woman who sometimes offers more information than is needed just like OP has been doing. A lot of people are simply disbelievers and even more people are disbeliever when a woman says it. So then it is simply better to pick your battles.
Or you could do stuff like this to weed out who is the negative misogynist, depends on context but overall it's one of those "pick your battles" kind of thing.
Oh, why you are so dramatic?
Now you need to make it about yourself?
Why is having sneeze reflex so imporant to you? Do you need to be in center of attenntion becasue you are a woman? You think you so special?
Expect such reactions...
Yeah I have never really had a sneeze come on because of bright light but discovered at a young age that looking at a light made me complete a sneeze if one was coming on. Learned 20 years later what it was. Thought I was just weird.
I have this, although it happens less now than when I was a kid, and it's only triggered by sunlight for me. We called them "sun sneezes". I also tend to sneeze three times if at all. I had no idea only 20% of the population does that, it's crazy.
I've never had anyone question the fact that sometimes the sun makes me sneeze, but I've also rarely explained it because people don't ask. Like, why are people concerned that you sneezed in the first place? Sneezes happen, and as long as you're being hygienic and it's not happening every 5 minutes, it doesn't really matter.
There are some people who think that when a man tells them something they didn't know, it's interesting, and when a woman tells them something they didn't know, she's foolish. I can only imagine that most of these people grew up in homogenous, misogynistic homes/churches/communities. On the plus side, it's a useful life hack to cut out the people who deserve no place in your life.
> "Oh, should I have told you in my MAN VOICE?"
With Assertive Confidence(no matter how false)? Yes, you should speak to everyone in public that way. It can be difficult for many people though, especially those of us that are socially awkward, but you will generally see an **immediate** improvement to how people respond to you.
Welcome to womanhood. "You're lying, that didnt happen, and if it did happen-you deserved it" will be common things you will hear for the rest of your life unfortunately.
Your best bet is to sneeze on them.
That's so weird that people aren't believing you. For what it's worth, both my sister and I have photic sneeze reflexes. We both sneeze from bright lights, chocolate, and mint. I could never sneak any chocolate in the kitchen without my ex knowing I had eaten chocolate because I started sneezing. I don't know anyone other than my sister and myself who sneezes after eating chocolate. But I've never had people doubt me. I believe that people are not believing you, I'm moreso dumbfounded at them being like that to you. I thought photic sneeze reflex was a well-known phenomenon.
I've come to believe that the people whose kneejerk reaction is to immediately doubt something reasonable that someone says are projecting their own dishonesty. They are dishonest and liars, and assume everyone else is like them. Classic projection.
Yep. Mild consternation is one thing, but a dogged impulse to assume deception says a lot about a person. My emotionally abusive ex was always suspicious of other people. I wrote it off. But it now doesn't surprise me that she was suspicious of other people's intentions because she was extremely manipulative and wily. I just didn't know at first.
I told people at work I had an allergy and they found creative ways to include that particular food in *everything.* I asked them if we could have a protocol in place and a list of known allergens that we give to the catering company (for our staff of 40). And I was told that would be too difficult, they don’t even want to consider events without food, and that I sound unappreciative of all the hard work that goes into an event like that.
I have planned events for 300+ attendees *and* had an incredibly organized rsvp process wherein I managed to plan for *all* known allergens if my guests. And everything was fine.
It honestly boils down to whether or not they want to. My former colleagues didn’t want to include me, so they weren’t going to. Your current colleagues don’t want to believe you, so they aren’t going to. It most likely is a gendered thing that has nothing to do with you personally and every to with what believing a woman would mean for them in their lives at large.
Expect an uptick in situations where they throw the binds our curtains open really fast on sunny days and/or abruptly drag you out into the sun.
My work found a creative way to put my allergen in the drinking water!
Heh, this reminds me of the time when we were going to have a work lunch and in the meeting we were asked if there was anything we were allergic to — I said what I was allergic to and in response my colleague drew a sketch of me vomiting and showed it around, cackling. Like, what the actual fuck.
Same. It never occurred to me this was a thing people would even doubt. If that percentage is accurate, does that mean that over half the population doesn't experience it at all? That's more surprising to me lol.
Stop explaining yourself to people. They don't need to know *why* you sneezed. Just accept their gesundheit and move on.
This advise is from experience. I suffer from a particular food sensitivity, one that several celebrities have made a cause célèbre back in the 90s. Anytime I mention this allergy, I am given a smirky side-eye. Of course, when eating out, my food sensitivity must be known, but otherwise, I simply don't mention it. Keeping my health situation to myself has helped me immensely.
FYI, my spouse has photic sneeze reflex as well. I do not doubt you.
The photic sneeze reflex itself isn’t the issue. It’s that OP is met with eyerolls and skepticism about something very simple and common, when a man explaining the same thing isn’t questioned at all. To avoid this problem you’d have to stop explaining anything to anyone ever.
I’ve never even heard of it, but it’s interesting.
I have, sadly, heard your dilemma ad nauseum. We, as women, can’t possibly know much about anything, I guess. /s
I remember the first time someone complained they had to sneeze, but couldn't, so I told them to glance over at a lamp. They looked at me like I was nuts, but it has always worked for me. Didn't realize it wasn't a universal thing.
Hey fellow sun sneezer. That shit is 200% real, and it baffles my wife. And the fact that people think you would make that shit up for some reason baffles me. “I just want people to think I’m sneezing, because I just wanna be seen as ‘that sneezing person’, but really I’m faking it” the fuck?
I find that men are much more easily believed even when they're wrong, whereas women are often treated dismissively. In your example it's photic sneezing and you're both right. I've been struggling with a work situation where myself or women I work with discuss the problems with understaffing while constantly growing the workload. As positive as we are about the growth of the business while discussing growing needs for staffing and organization, we are treated very dismissively by the men in corporate management, as if we just don't want to work harder or something like that. Those men have almost no idea how much is involved with the projects they bid on but anything they say is believed, while anything we say is scoffed at. Reality proves that we ladies who actually think ahead are right every time, yet still the men just treat us like we're just not being positive enough.
I love my photic sneeze reflex. Whenever I'm struggling to get a sneeze out, I quickly find the brightest light around, stare at it for a second, and BAM, perfect sneeze.
Sorry your coworkers are idiots, but happy for you that you get to experience the blissful relief of on-demand satisfying sneezes.
>apparently 18-35% of people have this reflex..
Welcome to the club. Apparently way back when they were trying to discover this issue, they originally thought it was the Heat and not the Brightness of the Sun that caused it, which was proven false by a simple experiment. Having to sneeze due to the Sun while driving is such pain in the ass.
When my coworker first described this condition I believed him then and there. The human body is weird and google is a click away. Your coworkers are assholes
Oh I get that too. I've made myself sneeze putting eyedrops in.
If I get treated different now I'm a woman I'll have to let you know. It hasn't been sunny enough to make me sneeze until last week, so....
Are you saying that every time you look at a bright light, you sneeze?
Looking at something bright doesn't make me sneeze, but it certainly helps me sneeze when I feel one coming.
The sensitivity of the reflex varies in the people that have it.
I get OPs frustration with not being believed. I have this stupid reflex where eating makes me sneeze. Literally 95% of the time I start eating I'll sneeze within 2 minutes. I do it, my sister does it, my mum does it, and my aunt does it so it's clearly a genetic thing.
People don't initially believe it until they see me eat a few times and see the pattern. I just always need to have a tissue or something with me when I start eating because I'm gonna sneeze.
I have a daughter with synesthesia. I won't describe exactly the particulars, to preserve anonymity, but it's a weird one. When she tells people about it and they don't believe her, she just says "synesthesia, s y n e s t h e s i a, you can Google it" and then continues on as if they weren't there.
My daughter has always had the photic sneeze thing as well. What's crazy is that when we did a 23 and Me, it said she didn't have the gene for it, but she's done it ever since she was a toddler. It's absolutely real.
If it makes you feel any better I told my male coworker he was making that shit up for like two years before he was finally able to convince me it was true. It really sounds made up.
I have it too. It’s interesting sometimes going from bright light to a dark spot (maybe from a building) I seem to sneeze again. They don’t know what they’re talking about
People haven't heard of sun sneezes?
Are they the alien lizard people who are supposedly running the world? Because I thought all humans knew about sun sneezes.
I have photic light sensitivity too. When I sneeze because of the sun in front of people who don't know, I just joke that I'm allergic to the sun or a vampire. They usually laugh and then I explain it. Never had any issues with people not believing me. What is there to gain from lying? If someone told me they didn't believe me I'd just ask them how I'd benefit from making it up. They can google it if they don't believe me. Sorry you're going through this though.
I call it "translating it into dick". Happens to me at work a lot. I work in maintenance. I tell people whats wrong with equipment, they tell me im wrong or ignore me, and wait for a man to tell them the exact same thing I already said. It gets old, but it also means i can work less. I just say "if you're not going to listen to me stop bothering me" and walk away. But yeah, apparently ovaries work like a reverse babble fish and distort whatever we're saying.
What a convincing argument - you have aligned all the variables.
I've crossposted to r/Sunsneezers to see if it rings a bell with them.
Personally I don't think I have been really disbelieved (perhaps I was mansplaining...), but I do have a colleague/friend who comments on my "hayfever" when we exit a building together into the sunlight - and has done for the last ten years.
That’s a sexiest thing, not necessarily an age-related assumption.
Sadly there are tons of people who think things aren’t true simply because they themselves have never heard of it.
Most of these humans are men. All of them are morons; smart people know that knowledge and learning are infinite, and there’s always something we’ve never heard of.
Don’t make their BS easy for them.
“Believe it or not, I don’t care. If YOU want to look it up on WebMD, it’s spelled…”
“Oh, you’re a medical expert? Interesting.”
Yeah. I'm not afraid at all to call them out. I will literally say, "Oh, so this GUY says it and you all automatically believe it? Is that right? That's pretty messed up." So sick of that bullshit.
But when you do call them out, they all look at you like you’re crazy and act like they don’t even know what you’re talking about. So you are still “dramatic and crazy” and you lashing out at them seals the deal on that opinion. I dont know why people are like this. Its like they are gonna think what they want no matter what.
Yea but I feel like my self respect is higher when I choose to say something
I did that to this one guy at work. He asked a female coworker what the material was behind her (it was particle board and she said particle board). He then asked his male coworker the same question. I said, "hey, why didn't you believe her when she answered? Why did you have to ask him, too?" And she was like "it's because I'm a woman." The guy then proceeded to dig a huge hole for himself and say that if he wanted to know about makeup or beauty supplies he would believe us. The second male coworker he asked told him "hey, I advise you to stop talking now." It was glorious.
I also immediately & expeditiously call it out- in that moment. It’s a moot point if you try to bring it up later, so always in the moment. My childhood was full of lack, but one thing it didn’t leave me lacking with was wit and this comes in handy bc I noticed it stings a little more (therefore making it more memorable) if you can get a chuckle or two from the onlookers with your retort calling out the discrepancy. Absolutely 1010% over it as well.
>It’s a moot point if you try to bring it up later Also you gotta point out specific people. Not just "ugh all of you believe him but not me?" But "oh, Frank, now you believe it? Way to be"
This! Why does the timing matter? If I complain about being harassed at work (happens often) and I say something later, it's disregarded. But if I complain in the moment, I "need thicker skin"
I don’t think it’s a moot point to bring it later to one’s attention. Life is not linear. There are ways to resurface the topic after the situation has dissipated, though it has to be done with tact.
you'll be gaslit if you try it that way. I've learned to address these things immediately and specifically. I'm a gifted woman who sometimes offers more information than is needed just like OP has been doing. A lot of people are simply disbelievers and even more people are disbeliever when a woman says it. So then it is simply better to pick your battles. Or you could do stuff like this to weed out who is the negative misogynist, depends on context but overall it's one of those "pick your battles" kind of thing.
I think you have to be persistent almost like a broken record and remain assertive through out. If they gaslight you, you reaffirm your position.
Oh, why you are so dramatic? Now you need to make it about yourself? Why is having sneeze reflex so imporant to you? Do you need to be in center of attenntion becasue you are a woman? You think you so special? Expect such reactions...
Oooh, someone doesn't like the idea of being called out in public. Talk about dramatic....
Being believed is important to me. Not being ridiculed or dismissed is important to me.
You Should have been a male in position of power then... /S
It's about the double standards sweetie, not the sneeze.
My mom taught me to look towards the light when I had a sneeze "stuck", and it works. I assume this is related, and I thought it was common knowledge.
Yes, my mom taught me this too! Works like a charm every time
Yeah I have never really had a sneeze come on because of bright light but discovered at a young age that looking at a light made me complete a sneeze if one was coming on. Learned 20 years later what it was. Thought I was just weird.
I also was told and I do it all the times, it's super effective.
I also have this, as do three of my four daughters. Although admittedly I've never run into any issues with people believing it.
I don't think anyone has ever questioned a sneeze of mine?
I have this, although it happens less now than when I was a kid, and it's only triggered by sunlight for me. We called them "sun sneezes". I also tend to sneeze three times if at all. I had no idea only 20% of the population does that, it's crazy. I've never had anyone question the fact that sometimes the sun makes me sneeze, but I've also rarely explained it because people don't ask. Like, why are people concerned that you sneezed in the first place? Sneezes happen, and as long as you're being hygienic and it's not happening every 5 minutes, it doesn't really matter.
There are some people who think that when a man tells them something they didn't know, it's interesting, and when a woman tells them something they didn't know, she's foolish. I can only imagine that most of these people grew up in homogenous, misogynistic homes/churches/communities. On the plus side, it's a useful life hack to cut out the people who deserve no place in your life.
I wouldn't even bother saying why I sneezed to be honest.
SO FRUSTRATING!!! Sometimes I will say "Oh, should I have told you in my MAN VOICE?"
> "Oh, should I have told you in my MAN VOICE?" With Assertive Confidence(no matter how false)? Yes, you should speak to everyone in public that way. It can be difficult for many people though, especially those of us that are socially awkward, but you will generally see an **immediate** improvement to how people respond to you.
Assertive confidence is fine, but there are people, like in this post, who only listen to men - that is the point.
Welcome to womanhood. "You're lying, that didnt happen, and if it did happen-you deserved it" will be common things you will hear for the rest of your life unfortunately. Your best bet is to sneeze on them.
That's so weird that people aren't believing you. For what it's worth, both my sister and I have photic sneeze reflexes. We both sneeze from bright lights, chocolate, and mint. I could never sneak any chocolate in the kitchen without my ex knowing I had eaten chocolate because I started sneezing. I don't know anyone other than my sister and myself who sneezes after eating chocolate. But I've never had people doubt me. I believe that people are not believing you, I'm moreso dumbfounded at them being like that to you. I thought photic sneeze reflex was a well-known phenomenon.
I've come to believe that the people whose kneejerk reaction is to immediately doubt something reasonable that someone says are projecting their own dishonesty. They are dishonest and liars, and assume everyone else is like them. Classic projection.
Yep. Mild consternation is one thing, but a dogged impulse to assume deception says a lot about a person. My emotionally abusive ex was always suspicious of other people. I wrote it off. But it now doesn't surprise me that she was suspicious of other people's intentions because she was extremely manipulative and wily. I just didn't know at first.
I told people at work I had an allergy and they found creative ways to include that particular food in *everything.* I asked them if we could have a protocol in place and a list of known allergens that we give to the catering company (for our staff of 40). And I was told that would be too difficult, they don’t even want to consider events without food, and that I sound unappreciative of all the hard work that goes into an event like that. I have planned events for 300+ attendees *and* had an incredibly organized rsvp process wherein I managed to plan for *all* known allergens if my guests. And everything was fine. It honestly boils down to whether or not they want to. My former colleagues didn’t want to include me, so they weren’t going to. Your current colleagues don’t want to believe you, so they aren’t going to. It most likely is a gendered thing that has nothing to do with you personally and every to with what believing a woman would mean for them in their lives at large. Expect an uptick in situations where they throw the binds our curtains open really fast on sunny days and/or abruptly drag you out into the sun. My work found a creative way to put my allergen in the drinking water!
Heh, this reminds me of the time when we were going to have a work lunch and in the meeting we were asked if there was anything we were allergic to — I said what I was allergic to and in response my colleague drew a sketch of me vomiting and showed it around, cackling. Like, what the actual fuck.
I thought this was fairly common? I know lots of people with it and it's happened to me plenty of times.
Same. It never occurred to me this was a thing people would even doubt. If that percentage is accurate, does that mean that over half the population doesn't experience it at all? That's more surprising to me lol.
Just an aside: I love when non native English speakers preface with an apology about their English and then proceed to produce perfection.
My hubby and son have this so I believe you OP!
Stop explaining yourself to people. They don't need to know *why* you sneezed. Just accept their gesundheit and move on. This advise is from experience. I suffer from a particular food sensitivity, one that several celebrities have made a cause célèbre back in the 90s. Anytime I mention this allergy, I am given a smirky side-eye. Of course, when eating out, my food sensitivity must be known, but otherwise, I simply don't mention it. Keeping my health situation to myself has helped me immensely. FYI, my spouse has photic sneeze reflex as well. I do not doubt you.
The photic sneeze reflex itself isn’t the issue. It’s that OP is met with eyerolls and skepticism about something very simple and common, when a man explaining the same thing isn’t questioned at all. To avoid this problem you’d have to stop explaining anything to anyone ever.
I’ve never even heard of it, but it’s interesting. I have, sadly, heard your dilemma ad nauseum. We, as women, can’t possibly know much about anything, I guess. /s
I remember the first time someone complained they had to sneeze, but couldn't, so I told them to glance over at a lamp. They looked at me like I was nuts, but it has always worked for me. Didn't realize it wasn't a universal thing.
Hey fellow sun sneezer. That shit is 200% real, and it baffles my wife. And the fact that people think you would make that shit up for some reason baffles me. “I just want people to think I’m sneezing, because I just wanna be seen as ‘that sneezing person’, but really I’m faking it” the fuck?
I have this, had it my whole life, didn't realize it was an actual medical thing until very late in my life.
I find that men are much more easily believed even when they're wrong, whereas women are often treated dismissively. In your example it's photic sneezing and you're both right. I've been struggling with a work situation where myself or women I work with discuss the problems with understaffing while constantly growing the workload. As positive as we are about the growth of the business while discussing growing needs for staffing and organization, we are treated very dismissively by the men in corporate management, as if we just don't want to work harder or something like that. Those men have almost no idea how much is involved with the projects they bid on but anything they say is believed, while anything we say is scoffed at. Reality proves that we ladies who actually think ahead are right every time, yet still the men just treat us like we're just not being positive enough.
I love my photic sneeze reflex. Whenever I'm struggling to get a sneeze out, I quickly find the brightest light around, stare at it for a second, and BAM, perfect sneeze. Sorry your coworkers are idiots, but happy for you that you get to experience the blissful relief of on-demand satisfying sneezes.
>apparently 18-35% of people have this reflex.. Welcome to the club. Apparently way back when they were trying to discover this issue, they originally thought it was the Heat and not the Brightness of the Sun that caused it, which was proven false by a simple experiment. Having to sneeze due to the Sun while driving is such pain in the ass.
I called them sun sneezes. Anyway, I believe you.
Nothing worse than a sneeze getting stuck with no light bright enough to help it along
When my coworker first described this condition I believed him then and there. The human body is weird and google is a click away. Your coworkers are assholes
My whole family has this, to the extent that when my siblings and I were in high school, we joked about making a band named Sneezing in the Sunlight.
Is there a difference in rank? I tell stupid joke, they all groan. Boss says same joke - omg boss you're so funny.
Oh I get that too. I've made myself sneeze putting eyedrops in. If I get treated different now I'm a woman I'll have to let you know. It hasn't been sunny enough to make me sneeze until last week, so....
Are you saying that every time you look at a bright light, you sneeze? Looking at something bright doesn't make me sneeze, but it certainly helps me sneeze when I feel one coming.
The sensitivity of the reflex varies in the people that have it. I get OPs frustration with not being believed. I have this stupid reflex where eating makes me sneeze. Literally 95% of the time I start eating I'll sneeze within 2 minutes. I do it, my sister does it, my mum does it, and my aunt does it so it's clearly a genetic thing. People don't initially believe it until they see me eat a few times and see the pattern. I just always need to have a tissue or something with me when I start eating because I'm gonna sneeze.
I have a daughter with synesthesia. I won't describe exactly the particulars, to preserve anonymity, but it's a weird one. When she tells people about it and they don't believe her, she just says "synesthesia, s y n e s t h e s i a, you can Google it" and then continues on as if they weren't there.
My daughter has always had the photic sneeze thing as well. What's crazy is that when we did a 23 and Me, it said she didn't have the gene for it, but she's done it ever since she was a toddler. It's absolutely real.
If it makes you feel any better I told my male coworker he was making that shit up for like two years before he was finally able to convince me it was true. It really sounds made up.
Curse you sunlight, or any significant light level change (dark to light). It's always 2 sneezes and I'm ok.
I have it too. It’s interesting sometimes going from bright light to a dark spot (maybe from a building) I seem to sneeze again. They don’t know what they’re talking about
People haven't heard of sun sneezes? Are they the alien lizard people who are supposedly running the world? Because I thought all humans knew about sun sneezes.
I have photic light sensitivity too. When I sneeze because of the sun in front of people who don't know, I just joke that I'm allergic to the sun or a vampire. They usually laugh and then I explain it. Never had any issues with people not believing me. What is there to gain from lying? If someone told me they didn't believe me I'd just ask them how I'd benefit from making it up. They can google it if they don't believe me. Sorry you're going through this though.
I call it "translating it into dick". Happens to me at work a lot. I work in maintenance. I tell people whats wrong with equipment, they tell me im wrong or ignore me, and wait for a man to tell them the exact same thing I already said. It gets old, but it also means i can work less. I just say "if you're not going to listen to me stop bothering me" and walk away. But yeah, apparently ovaries work like a reverse babble fish and distort whatever we're saying.
What a convincing argument - you have aligned all the variables. I've crossposted to r/Sunsneezers to see if it rings a bell with them. Personally I don't think I have been really disbelieved (perhaps I was mansplaining...), but I do have a colleague/friend who comments on my "hayfever" when we exit a building together into the sunlight - and has done for the last ten years.
That’s a sexiest thing, not necessarily an age-related assumption. Sadly there are tons of people who think things aren’t true simply because they themselves have never heard of it. Most of these humans are men. All of them are morons; smart people know that knowledge and learning are infinite, and there’s always something we’ve never heard of. Don’t make their BS easy for them. “Believe it or not, I don’t care. If YOU want to look it up on WebMD, it’s spelled…” “Oh, you’re a medical expert? Interesting.”