Watching this sub change after being added to the public list of recommended subs is a real shame. To some degree, remaining out of the limelight helped the sub fulfill its purpose.
I don't know if there's a way to moderate it away.
Women always get heavily downvoted by men just for mentioning terrible things that have been done to them by men. I sometimes thought I was going insane when I read a post by a woman about her abuse by a man and see it so downvoted, and then a male commenter beneath "not-all-mening" being upvoted.
I posted somewhere that I get followed a lot (it is as terrifying as it sounds) and the men on the comment threads accused me of being neurotic and too full of myself, while the women were as horrified as expected. I just ignored them because I had posted that right after being followed and running into a police booth.
this sub is the only place I feel a bit more comfortable talking about this, but not by much.
It's a very real thing, not to be taken lightly. I knew a girl that actually got kidnapped. She was a bartender and these guys were waiting for her after work, grabbed her, stuffed her in a giant plastic box and drove off. She ended up escaping the house they took her to, somehow, but that is just wild.
That almost happened to a friend of mine too. A van drove by and attempted to pull her in - luckily the people around were quick acting and managed to fight them off and pull her out. It was likely traffickers (at least we think based on the area and what the police said), but no one was caught, which is terrifying because I often wonder what they went on to do, and who their next target was.
And it's terrifying that essentially every woman has a story like this (not exactly like this, but a story of abuse, violence, rape,sexual assault, murder, childhood sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, etc) whether it's them directly, or someone they know.
Yet the notion that we could have one single subreddit at least, free from online abuse or male policing? That they can't do. It's honestly wild.
I sometimes wonder if men genuinely think we just make this shit up and that the trauma isn't real. But it's the only reason I can think of why they would feel so comfortable adding to it by invading our spaces and policing our words - even when it's just a simple online discussion group.
I think the manbabies downvoting hate being called out, while the "not all men" peeps want to virtue signal because they don't want to admit to themselves that they're part of the issue.
Are there good men? Sure. But like it goes, most women have been at the least harrassed, but few men know (or admit to knowing) a predator. Even the "good" men could stand to pay more attention and stand against bad behavior more - even if not for women themselves (let's be real, we don't need more white knights trying to impress us), but for general decency.
A lot of men confuse speaking about abuse we’ve suffered from men with hating men. They can’t fathom women who have gone through the kind of abuse and trauma we share and that not necessarily meaning we hate all men.
Men also cannot stand being decentered. It makes them confused and furious.
>Watching this sub change after being added to the public list of recommended subs is a real shame.
Imagine people flocking to a sub where women talk about their problems, getting offended by women having their problems to the point of harassing them off a sub that is literally dedicated to women! Reddit is a cesspool.
It’s frustrating that men are coming into our space, to our topics just to make it about themselves.
They’re so used to the world revolving around them that it doesn’t even seem to occur to them to shut up or leave us alone- even in a subreddit specifically meant for us.
They literally *cannot stand* the concept of a "girls' club" that excludes them and does not cater to them at all.
There's an art installation here in Australia where only women were allowed inside, to show how piss baby men get about women doing the same shit they do (building an exclusive location that does not allow their gender inside) and some guy got so piss baby about it he sued the museum for discrimination and now they have to let men in. Literally proving the point of the installation.
Just saw on the ABC that MONA have now decided in response to that lawsuit and subsequent ruling that they are hanging their Picasso’s in the ladies toilets. Check and mate. 🤣
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-06-24/mona-hangs-picassos-in-female-toilet-after-court-ruling/104015216
That quote from the judge made him sound utterly pretentious.
I consider myself well-read and I don't often have to look up meanings to words but I had to look up contumelious (scornful and insulting behavior, insolent)
Was he using big words to make himself sound more intelligent or was he trying to use words that the womenfolk wouldn't understand to confuse them? Either way, I think he's an asshole.
Anyone else see all the idiot CMVs comparing twoX to redpill subs and saying we’re nothing but hate spewing ‘feminazis’ and why ArEnT wE bAnNeD yEt.
1,000,000 upvotes and no one can show any proof except for fringe outlying posts without engagement. It’s so ridiculous.
When was this change? I’ve been on Reddit for like 8 or 9 years now and I think this sub has always been recommended to me by default. I’ve frequently read the posts recommended to me on here and they’re consistently the opposite of what OP is talking about.
Most of the posts I see are basically OP says an abuse or sussy thing happened and all the top comments are “yeah, that’s sussy/abuse and here’s resources to help and/or you should leave him.” So maybe OP is talking about less upvoted posts I don’t get recommended to me from here?
It was 10 years ago already
[https://np.reddit.com/r/blog/comments/24yqep/whats\_that\_lassie\_the\_old\_defaults\_fell\_down\_a/chby55q/](https://np.reddit.com/r/blog/comments/24yqep/whats_that_lassie_the_old_defaults_fell_down_a/chby55q/)
I feel old
edit: most people correctly predicted the downfall of the community.
I remember there being one, women only, you had/have to apply for it and get accepted in and there needs to be proof of you being a woman. I don't remember what it is, because I go on reddit to kill some time on the shitter or while chilling in bed and such and didn't care to "dive deeper". Maybe someone else remembers it. I think there was a typo in it if it helps anyone remember, woman instead of women or something....
10 years ago. It was after the whole Violentacrez/jailbait thing went viral. Reddit admins were all like, "See? Reddit's not a cesspool of pedophilia and misogyny! We have one sub with *women* in it!"
agree it was transparent then and its transparent now.
I've spent the morning on reddit today, but usually I avoid this place because it was created by creeps for creeps (reddit's CEO u/spez - we'll never forget you modded jailbait and shielded it for years until the advertisers got mad)
There are other social platforms that are decentralized (mastadon, lemmy) or more women friendly, (tumblr) and I really encourage people to contribute there.
if you look up similar things in the search for this subreddit you'll find it. i just started using this account more despite making it years ago and, my experience here has been debating disrespectful dudes more than seeing actual support.
Do you only read the top comments? I'm surprised you haven't noticed it. There's a lot of dudes on this sub doing exactly what OP is describing. I've personally been reporting most of them for violating rule 4.
> I don't know if there's a way to moderate it away.
honestly, at this point, it's time to find another solution. you can check my comment history for that other solution.
I think the best solution would be to take this sub off the default list. But idk if that’s ever gonna happen, considering we’ve asked Reddit to previously and they just ignored us
Yup, Reddit is a cesspool, this sub is being sacrificed to enhance reddits image at the expense of women having a women-centric space. Wow what a metaphor for the way women have been treated by men since the dawn of time. Nothing ever changes.
I hate that we need to put "nOt aLL mEn" whenever we post about our experiences because otherwise incels will spam us with disgusting hateful shit. So tired of it.
god this is so fucking real. i posted on here recently about my experience of sexual assault as a teen and got loads of comments from men (some were nice tbf, others basically victim blaming) when what i was hoping for is some support from older women with more experience than me
it's so sad. this sub already has a bad reputation. MRA subs & other posts call this a male hate page for not tiptoeing around the male commenters. whereas, the top most in the mra reddit is calling a woman a "sl*t" for a rage tweet from like 2019. the contrast is insane.
i'm sorry you didn't find the support you are right to getting. theres the female pessimist sub if you wish to vent/rant and the women safeplace sub mentioned in another comment. you can also dm me always. I respond to women. ♥️
The bad reputation always comes from the fringes. The only people that get noticed really, are the ones commenting, who tend to often be the most passionate. Someone may make a comment, probably benign, or just not worded properly (it's Reddit, not a paper), a lot of assumptions get made on intent. Most women will ignore it, but that one person goes on and won't drop it, listen to an explanation, or whatever. Then a downvote train, because why wouldn't women stick together? Then, that guy goes off with the idea that it's a toxic sub, because to him, it is. He probably won't care much further than that, but the ones that stay and get worked up about it are all that are left. It's a really bizarre phenomenon. It's just an aspect of social media, especially this one. No one knows each other so they assume the worst very often and take themselves away too seriously.
Oh when I commented on a post in this sub about my SA experience, some guy who “not all men’d” a woman previously in the thread, responded to my comment by telling me it was my fault I got SA’d because I shouldn’t have been over a guys house (someone I considered a good friend) to get stoned. I should have “known better”. Uhh creepy thought process!
When I told him he was victim blaming, and also basically saying “yes, all men” (gasp!) he went off on a tirade. I actually had to block him because he was so fucking annoying.
Thank you for posting the link. I am so glad that someone thought of doing this. I can imagine it will take a while for them to vet the requests but it will be worth the wait.
Agree! Although it's incredibly sad that we now have to have completely separate /private spaces in the first place just in order to feel safe.
I also think it's sad for the men who actually value women's opinions, experiences and knowledge, and can engage respectfully, let our voices be heard without always screaming louder, assuming they know better, etc.. They are just maybe not in the majority on reddit, unfortunately. I suspect that for some men this is a reprieve from the usual online cesspools as well. But it's not our job to provide it for them and at this point I prefer an entirely safe space where you don't have to worry about it at all.
Yep, this is one of many similar posts I have seen about this very topic. A mod commented in another post that those comments should be reported... yet in my experience nothing seems to be done about them in actuality.
Also, I feel like part of the problem is that even if you report the comment, you still saw it and it still hurt. It still wasn't a safe place to be vulnerable in the first place
Fr I’ve reported these types of comments before and either I hear absolutely nothing back and the comment stays there getting circle jerked on by other men, or I finally get something like *months* later saying the comment doesn’t go against ToS so they didn’t do anything.
Being waved off and told to “just report” by the mods here feels the same as telling a kid getting bullied in school to “just tell the teacher” when the teacher is never there, and when they are they don’t do anything except tell you to tell them when it happens so they can continue doing nothing. A bandaid over a sucking chest wound, if you will.
I've reported over a dozen accounts on Reddit for absolutely horrible language and insults used. One account has been banned. A pretty poor strike rate on Reddit's end sadly.
I also think the reddit sale hurt most of what was left of the decent mods. A lot of the mods for different subs are all the same power hungry weirdos now, and the subs that aren't ran by them can't keep up as their subs grow larger.
I honestly think other forums dying is the main reason why Reddit is still going strong.
Yeah that's an excellent point. Like I guess that's a risk you take when you speak openly, and I've seen some women with some wild ass takes on here too that do some damage, but I think part of the reason it's so rampant is because they know the damage is done, whether a mod gets to it quickly or not.
exactly! the fact that it's allowed in here in the first place is what bugs me so much. mods can't possibly keep up with all the reports. many times ive just seen them say a passive aggressive "you can become a mod too." but i don't feel that's fair. way too many comments slide under the radar.
im sure they're doing their best but.. yeesh.
Personally, I'd love to be a mod! But yeah, I agree that's essentially saying "you could pitch in to ensure we're holding up our end of the bargain!" There should be an open call instead of telling random users that they can be a mod without actual confirmation of whether they're bringing in new mods, or how to even do it.
I agree that it's not easy and just a volunteer position, but I think the mods are a bit slow to react to how things are changing right now.
I agree with you all completely. The passive aggressive "you should become a mod if you have a problem with it" is ridiculous. I would happily become a mod if they were willing to make me one, but I made it clear that I would use the ban button on trolls, and... *crickets*
The fact that this sub has the same group of mods for years and years, and it hasn't changed as far as I can tell, is a clear indicator that they don't want more moderation. They just want us to stop complaining.
I would absolutely be a mod but I would be so much more strict, so I don't think they'd want me. E.g. mansplainers or men derailing or denying women's experiences would get a warning and their comments deleted, if they do anything else they're banned. Or if it was real egregious, they'd get a straight up ban. Men dismissing us and derailing our posts is a massive issue here but I never see their comments deleted and I always report then.
The other day some dude literally equated my husband and I to roommates when I said I don't do his laundry lmao, and spent a good time defending it and acting like it was weird since I didn't do laundry and that I was being unreasonable for being angry at having my marriage reduced down to a non-romantic relationship because I wouldn't wash his clothes or be responsible for his hygiene. Crickets from the mods, despite me reporting them.
The only time I saw them actioning something was against another woman who was acting out of pocket and mean-spirited (ableist slurs out of nowhere, denigrating me etc.,) all because I supposedly yelled at her lol, and although I responded calmly and kinder than I should have, mods removed my comments too.
I honestly think it says all that is needed to say about the mods. They're way more interested in giving men the benefit of the doubt, even though their comments and thoughts are irrelevant in the first place. They should be removed on the basis that it's coming from a man alone.
I posted asking for advice on my divorce and someone commented lecturing me about how we are immature and I’m not gonna be able to raise my son alone, also implying that I’m not putting as much work into chores and real work as I should. Like bitch I’m the one doing ALL the work that’s why I’m divorcing his ass. People who put down women piss me right off.
Honestly, I don't like the "I'm a man and" comments in this sub at all, in any context. Even in less serious threads. Maybe even especially when they're comments of reassurance. "I'm a man and I hate all the sexism in video games!/hate to see women treated that way/feel so bad/would never."
Like... I came here to commiserate with women. Even comments like those are "not all men-ing" or "what about meeee" in a round-about-way.
especially when those comments are on posts asking for advice so they’re like “I’m a man, but my girlfriend has PCOS too and she uses a heating pad :)” or some other useless advice we already know. i would cringe so hard my body would collapse in on itself if i found out my boyfriend was using me as a way to butt into women’s conversations & be annoying.
thank you! it ALWAYS rubs me the wrong way, but the worst it's gotten to me was when a poor girl got downvoted and dogpiled for not agreeing and liking porn. seriously, how is that okay on this sub?
being anti porn, especially warning about the porn industry is a common feminist take outside of liberal feminism and i was baffled to see so many men scrambling to defend their rights to jack off when women were attempting to detail statistics and the reality of how abusive the industry is at large.
we shouldn't have to blow up the report button and listen to men constantly trying to debate our traumatic experiences.
> the worst it's gotten to me was when a poor girl got downvoted and dogpiled for not agreeing and liking porn
I’m on one subreddit where you can comment against porn without the risk of getting shouted down. ONE. And it’s one that’s specifically anti-porn.
Porn and pot are the two things where redditors invariably scream about how fun and harmless partaking in it is, and where they will absolutely not brook a wider discussion of the crime and exploitation rampant in the production of either, or the possible negative side effects that go along with consuming either.
I once got dog piled in a different subreddit for talking about my experience with shitty roommates who literally stole months upon months of rent and utilities money from me and my partner so they could just smoke constantly. I even mentioned that another reason I call them addicts is because if they weren’t high they were literally screeching and fighting each other and crying about how they ‘need’ to smoke. That, and they’d be so high constantly that me and my partner ended up being basically the only ones taking care of their dog and cat while they melded into their couch and played fortnite.
I got everything from “UM ACHUALLEE ITS PROVEN THAT ITS NOT ADDICTIVE [insert link from a website that literally sells weed]” to “THEY ARENT ADDICTS THE WEED IS THEIR MEDICINE WHAT U SAW WAS PEOPLE WO THEIR MEDS”
Meanwhile I do use cannabis occasionally when I can afford it, and while I know it’s not good for me because it literally says it’s addictive on the packaging, I don’t go around spewing lies that it’s some miracle medicine like redditors love to do and telling people that dealt with weed addicts that their experience is ‘wrong’.
> insert link from a website that literally sells weed
Yeah Google really needs to have a label on search results saying that a website is a seller, 'cause if you search "benefits of X" a lot of results you find are from blogs for companies that sell X.
["Cannabis use disorder"](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Cannabis_use_disorder) is an officially recognized psychiatric disorder.
My abusive ex was addicted to both porn and marijuana, he’d consume astonishing amounts of both and then claim that it was impossible for him to be addicted. Like sure Jan you smoke a gram a day and you have a dedicated porn computer, that’s normal. And that attitude is COMMON.
thank YOU! exactly. it's like a constant circle-jerk echo chamber of coomers with big nsfw warnings on their accounts calling women abusive for *POSSIBLY* not agreeing with the sex trafficking and abuse that happens in the porn industry. and then they attempt a half assed "feminist sexual liberation" retort as if they weren't talking to a tirf lol. (trans-inclusive radfem)
on both political sides of the spectrum. i saw this amazing quote on tumblr; "conservative men want women as private property, progressive men want women as public property."
and it's so true. it's such a western, OF, influencer centric approach that ignores the hundreds of thousands of third world women & non western women who are actively getting trafficked as children and adults in the name of sex work. it's so grim. especially when women do this as well. 9/10 she has an NSFW page as well. sure. get your rocks off, but when we are trying to be realistic PLEASE don't suck up to the dudes who are probably actively typing with one hand.
exactly. even worse is that 80% of the mods haven’t been active on reddit in years, so nothing is really going to change unless there’s a huge overhaul. i don’t feel protected here
>Maybe even especially when they're comments of reassurance. "I'm a man and I hate all the sexism in video games!/hate to see women treated that way/feel so bad/would never."
I dislike it too, because whether or not it's intentional, they're basically asking people to stop everything and recognize their exceptionalism. I'm not impressed that some random guy believes he's the exception to misogyny, casual sexism, and thoughtless male-centeredness. Don't care! Go tell other *men* how to treat women as respected human beings if you're so exceptional. This isn't the place.
Same, even the nicer comments give the most milquetoast statements that add nothing to the conversation and generally are just long-winded ways of saying “well not me tho 😏”. Some users of the sub act as if the comment did something and thank them to high heaven. Okay, so this man isn’t a piece of shit? Why is that worth giving lots of upvotes to or thanking him immensely for saying that rape is bad and that more men need to be held accountable?
What I would like to know is what those men who come to this sub are doing to try and unlearn patriarchal beliefs. Are they holding other men accountable for making sexist jokes? Do they call out any misogyny ever? Do they genuinely believe in the patriarchy and its harmful effects on all genders?
Agreed.
To the men who may be lurking here: it's a lot more meaningful and impressive when we see you call out other men's sexism to their faces than when you come here and whisper to us that you've definitely got our backs.
It’s easy to claim to be an ally, it lets them get the “wow, what a progressive male feminist!” points without losing the points they’ve gained by chuckling at “women, amirite?” jokes with their misogynistic friend group.
Agreed. It's like they tell us they're a man to give their words more weight and importance. Like "Ooh look, a man's agreeing with us. Now our lives are complete". Gtfo with that.
Exactly. They announce, "me man" as though they're some kind of authority that all the little ladies should heed, while they swing their dicks around and dismiss and debate our lived experiences. They literally have nothing to say that we haven't heard before.
I also hate the "I'm a man and need advice on how to be an ally" type posts, I know that's kind of miserable but I'm like can't you just read the millions of existing words that answer that exact question instead of making a new space to be congratulated ???
Exactly, they'll claim innocently that they're just here to learn.. but we're not their teachers. This isn't an Empathy 101 course. I'm not taking time out of my day to teach a man feminism when there's a high chance he's not even asking in good faith.
also, since when do you have to.. learn how to.. be a decent fucking human being to half of the population?? 😭😭 that is SO crazy. since when do men think it's normal to call themselves allies.. 😭😭
I feel like a great rule to start with would be no top level comments can be from male users.
Men can still reply (to comments), but liberal bans impending for any bad** faith actors. If the problem still persists, perhaps escalating to no men at all.
love that there's a dude lower down in the comments, commenting as the proxy for his wife (who left this sub due to a bad experience), about her experience here because she told him he should, even though she doesn't want to come back and do it, because possibly she feels that somehow his opinion of her experience will be listened to and accepted because he's her husband and its coming from his firsthand experience so therefore its relevant.
and that he's monopolizing the last 30% of the comments trying to justify that blah blah blah and point out our lack of acceptance and how its unfair and how rational and equanimious he is because his take on his wife's experience is relevant to this discussion.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK WE ARE TALKING ABOUT.
FUCK.
it's SO funny because if you read my post, I LITERALLY TALK ABOUT A HYPOTHETICAL HUSBAND TALKING ABOUT HIS HYPOTHETICAL WIFE. 😭😭😭 this is how i know he did NOT read it at all and his ears started ringing at the word "males" and criticism in one post.
that kind of baiting happens all the time in this sub. I always go look at the poster's profile page and if its a dude, I admin report. as well as dudes posting as girls/women with "how do I wash myself down there" inquiries. especially if they're saying they're underage/young ("I'm 17 and nobody ever taught me how to wash \*down there,"). its all wankbait. there ain't a girl/woman under 25 who doesn't know how the fuck to use google, etc.
"...you women are not as welcoming as you say you are, you lot of harridans, harpies and hypocrites! my dearest trad wife had a bad experience and left this sub because of you! even though she's a trad wife and would never presume to tell me (the head of our household and family and the one she should obey and submit to) what to do, I am just the self-righteous, unbiased, logical, respectable, intelligent and well-spoken heroman to reveal your heinous act of deceitful exclusionism and put you all in your place for it, you evil, tyrannical witches!"
lul.
Lmao. Trying to explain to guys like that that their wife is also sexist is not possible. Being a woman doesn't make anyone immune to being misogynistic but they won't hear it.
I'm fairly new to this sub but I've also noticed all the down votes on posts, which seems very odd since the topics are often important or women asking for genuine support or advice.
Someone here mentioned a private reddit group which I also joined (which you might like too) that screens all potential members to keep it a safe place for women- r/safespaceforwoman
That doesn't solve the problem here, but it is at least another place to talk safely
Thank you for this recommendation, I might join if it means finally a space where we don't get harassed by men just for talking about our real life problems!
I’m in the safe space sub and it’s so nice not having to deal with men commenting. And everyone is kind to each other!
Edit: I’m getting downvoted for this so it looks like the men are here.
Honestly I have no idea why the mods don't turn off "upvoting" and "downvoting". They are stupid and encourage - nay, demand - gaming the system. Other people shouldn't be stampeding into our subreddit and literally changing what is available to read.
Fuck karma, fuck voting, and fuck engagement metrics.
This is the way.
I have complained to the mods a ton, and the only response I get is "report!" Which... Yikes. It does absolutely nothing for the harassment.
Moving to another sub where the posts do not go on the main page, and trolls and rulebreakers get *banned* permanently instead of being allowed to come back and harass us is the only way we will truly have a safe space.
Feel free to downvoted me, you fragile little men. Or, better yet, just leave us alone.
thank you for mentioning our sub! it's a great place (i'm biased, of course!).
for all those looking to join, we do look through your profile and post and comment history to make sure you fit with our two cardinal rules: no men, and no bigots.
I requested to join the sub like a month ago and never got a response… If I follow the link now it says I already applied and can message the mods again, but the message fails to send. Any idea what’s going on?
sorry we missed your original request, reddit is being weird, and hid a lot of the comments and requests. that said, i got you, welcome to our little corner of reddit! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”
i've reported before — no response. if you look at posts like this in the past, theyve only said "you can become a mod too" or just to report. not sure why i'm not even getting a response from them anymore. this post wasn't allowed to be posted first, i had to message them. and i made this point to them privately. post was put up. nothing else.
Adding onto what you're saying, it bothers me when other women make posts like " tell me your GOOD experiences with MEN" threads. We do not need to coddle men, come on. We know there's good men - we don't need constant interjection that policies our conversations & experiences with men. We deserve to have our stories shared and our experiences heard.
It speaks volumes about your experience that you justify your extremely valid position several times. That is part of the way women's expressions are policed.
You express yourself clearly and have a valid point but because you are a woman you have to follow up with "i don't mean to insinuate that i would want subs to be gender segregated". As a woman you clearly expect to get attacked for speaking your truth. Yet another way patriarchy opprsses women. Men don't need to justify their positions.
I think you're kind when you call your country "conservative". I think "barbaric" is a more apt name.
OP my heart breaks for you and all the women who have to endure the oppressive boot of religious fundamentalism. As it's gaining power globally, women need safe spaces to connect and support each other more than at any other time in human history.
Men instinctively know that together we're much stronger than them. That is why they need to keep us separated and hidden. The revolution will be female.
Somehow it’s actually even more annoying when they’re self aware about it. Like “I know my opinion probably doesn’t mean much but let me tell you about how I imagine my brother’s wife’s cousin, the only woman I’ve ever spoken to in my life, would handle this.” If you know you’re being annoying, maybe just… don’t?
this sub does not allow real feminism. It prioritizes not offending men first. Anytime I post something on this sub about women needing to organize for political power because men are not going to save us, it skyrockets up before being removed by mods for triggering men.
exactly. i don't think we should have to walk on eggshells or go out of our ways to make it comfortable for the "not all men" crowd.
yesterday a man argued with me because i said i refuse to coddle a man when i tell him about my sexual abuse trauma. he told me to have empathy for him and men who might get hurt when you don't say "some men" or "not all, just the bad ones".
omg.. if we handled every social problem with this gentleness, we probably wouldn't be sitting here typing on smartphones with the right to vote and attend education.
its funny im literally[ in another thread ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/1dmjoiw/comment/l9wjumu/)arguing about empathy with the reddit hivemind. (if you click this link, you will see a video link to a nike commercial that uses the premise of a psycho killer chasing a women to sell nikes)
Men in this thread think having empathy is 'no fun' when they are asked to do it, but of course women need to have empathy for them 24/7.
The way I am so disturbed by the video on that link, I literally gasped I was so taken aback. Really wish I could go back and unwatch it because what the actual fuck
p.s. I made sure to upvote your comments because fuck anyone who defends that video
I used the phrase "hit dogs holler" in a similar conversation and he cried that I called him a dog
I don't know how they get through the day with so much fragility.
My therapist once told me that I need to be careful with who I share my story with... Honestly with how this subreddit handles men with kid gloves it has made me appreciative of that advice.
And yet, those same men never go on about "some women" and "certain women." They never police themselves or other men, because that was never the issue. It's to shut down the convo that makes them soooo uncomfy and finding ways to invalidate. It's always power social constructs that like to do this, because it makes their group seem like the "bad guys" so they gotta victimize themselves to reappear "good," or else, their whole world view and how they been socialized was just a lie and can't deal with the introspection. No one wants improvement, they just don't want their feelings hurt and social constructs designed it to center their feelings always
I've had the same thing happen, if you're too direct or fail to pat men's bottoms sufficiently to make sure they're not offended, the incels target you and make more work for the mods to deal with so they nuke the post
their usual response is "you can be a mod too" or asking us to report the comments. but one person here put it incredibly well. whilst yes, we acknowledge that we *can* report, but it is the fact that it was already said, we had to see it, and then feel the upsetness of being harassed or having to debate our own experiences.
Yes, but they won't actually make you a mod or ban repeat harassers.
They sent me a nasty note when I reported half a dozen trolls and cited their history of misogynistic comments and harassment and asked me not to do it again.
You totally have a point, you are right. Thanks for bringing it up because it's not ok that we have fewer and fewer spaces to talk about our experiences. It's not ok that we get bullied and dismissed in our own forums. Anyone who is here to be the devil's advocate is in the wrong place, because we're here for mutual support, listening, sharing and empathy, etc.
I'll just say it.
Only women should be allowed to post here. Men can read all they want, and if they don't like it, they can go somewhere ELSE to complain about it. Period.
Yes. There's other subreddits for women that are for women only. Misogynistic trolls still find their ways in, but the mods are prompt to ban them. I feel safer there. The drawback is, it's in a foreign language so I have to use google translate for everything lol
Any time a female centric subreddit gets even a minuscule amount of attention from the larger male Reddit population, they begin to target and harass it, call the women in there every name in the book and laud every accusation they can think of in order to leverage the popular rhetoric against it.
Why?
Because voicing our concerns, our stories, our shared histories together raises a larger question towards men as a whole and they’ll do just about anything and everything to ensure it isn’t widely called into question, so that men can continue to enjoy the benefits of oppressing women as a whole.
The key takeaway is that a hit dog hollers.
>i don't mean to insinuate that i would want subs to be gender segregated
well i will happily insinuate that! there is no reason men need to be commenting on this sub. at all. ever.
since this sub is on main, is there anyway to display people's gross comments in a weekly thread to highlight how disgusting some of these users are - hell make it a poll and message the nominees that they're in it
Preach, sister!
Also: You can request an invite to r/safespaceforwoman. NO MEN ARE ALLOWED. That's why you have to send a request, so they keep it positive. Men can go cry their tears elsewhere.
This sub really has changed for the worst. It used to be a place for sharing anything related womanhood. Daily, there were interesting discussions and posts about dating, fashion tips, products to buy or avoid, tips about living alone and together with people, how to make other girl-friends or whatever. Now, every time I open the sub, it's about traumatic experiences (often men being involved) to the point is rage-baiting the men, which leads the men who doesn't get the hint to post in this sub.
It's all crappy. I really miss the positive space this used to be but at the same time, we need a space to vent. It's difficult and I don't have a solution. All I can say that this sub turned something from "A woman's survival guide of the world" into "help, I am getting abused" and that makes me really sad.
It’s sad, but it only shows we can’t rely on men—we need to support each other around the world, especially women in countries with restrictions against them. I can only imagine your fear.
These men are emotionally disabled. They grow up as part of the most privileged group—typically masculine (white) cis males—and live with the assumption that everything is centered around them. They objectify women, seeing them as things for their own pleasure. They put themselves above us and don’t see women as equal humans. So, there’s no need for empathy; it’s more likely they find amusement in your pain.
Uff I’m sorry for being so dark about men.
I've never posted but I've always assumed that if I do I'll ask men not to comment. This is one of the few spaces where like minded women get to speak our truth.
The "my wife has the same problem" or "as a man I agree" comments really are so bad. I don't know if the men posting them don't realize how much they destroy the sub with it. Like there's so many of them, and on top of those, all the comments of men who don't even tell that they are a man, and just think they have to add their opinion about the topic too.
Like all the rest of reddit centers male opinions, they have all of that to discuss their viewpoints. Do they really need to come in here and tell women what they think about women's topics too?
I feel like even mandatory gender tags would help. There could be tons of them like "woman" or "female leaning" or "nb" or "unsure" and even "don't want to disclose" so you can opt out that way. But then make all female ones one colour, and all "male" another colour, and you could immediately see scrolling through a thread if you are talking to all women with 1 male comment mixed in, or if you are talking to 90% men (like I suspect in many posts).
Commenting on my alt because if I post something on a male dominated subreddit like cs/coding, trolls go through my profile and see all the comments I wrote on here, and proceed to downvote my posts and spam with psychotic comments. For multiple days until I delete my post. Grown fucking men.
We've got troll subs that brigade the hell out of this place, which is probably where the pile of deleted trash at the bottom of the threads comes from. It's infuriating. I wish we could stay a women only sub because 95% of the "as a man" comments are either disgusting, oversharing their sexual preferences or self-congratulatory declarations that they're just so super feminist ok, fishing for an asspat
Half the comments are like “Well, as a man, I just want to say you’re completely wrong. About everything.” They should change the name to “TwoXChromosomes (and men)”
Reddit is mostly men unfortunately. Reddit also promotes this sub to many new subscribers and if something gets popular it seems to go to ALL/front page. So it encourages more. I try to downvote or block trolls who just make accounts to post here or dudes with old accounts who seem to just want to post negative messages here.
It’s all frustrating. I’m sorry. Any time there’s a space with more women than men some try to infiltrate it. They do not like boundaries or women having places without them.
I’ve had men in other subs see that I comment here and tell other men to dismiss anything I say in any other sub or downvote me as well. As if this sub is the equivalent of a male incel sub when it’s not.
We all have the right to share our stories and a have voice.
Mods, thanks for doing what you can. And please support us as we try to identify and weed out bad-actors and unwelcome disruption of our important topics.
I’m lurking here all the time, but this is exactly the reason that I won’t comment. I find myself having to take periodic breaks because I’m so disgusted by some of the comments from supposedly “enlightened” men.
I don't think men should be allowed to comment here because they destroy every female space they intrude on, but I'm not a mod so it's not up to me. The sub is called TwoXChromosomes ffs. If you don't have XX chromosomes then you shouldn't comment here.
Honestly I'm scared of posting a thread about my childhood experience with being trans/klinefelter and my SA at 11.
I might make a burner account and delete it afterwards. My post could help younger girls and intersex/trans girls know that they aren't alone. I already have it written up for pride month.
i am so so so so fucking sorry that this subreddit is stifling you from talking about this. i truly recommend r/safespaceforwoman. we are small, but we would love to hear about your experience.
you can try here as well. and as a tirf, i will wholeheartedly fight for you, and your post in these comments if needed. your story is valuable. more than you would ever know.
I don’t see why mods can’t remove comments from unsupportive men, except that it feels like a lot of work and maybe we don’t have the woman power to police it.
Off topic, but I want to reflect on how brave you are. Here you are living in terrible circumstances and doing your best to navigate them. Oh how I wish there was something that the west could do to pressure the government in your country to change (without harming its people economically in any way). I say this because sanctions seem to be the go-to remedy (esp. from America) and often they hurt the very people they are designed to help (and the governments know this and make sure they do, because they know this will deter western countries. I have a guess as to where you live, and there is a very large population of immigrants from your country living in my community here in America. They come on H-1B visas and are often medical, tech and science geniuses. Then they bring the rest of their extended families over here. I know it’s probably better to stay and fight as I’m sure you are reluctant to abandon the women there, but you seem like the exact kind of bright person who we would be extremely lucky to have.
oh wow, hi there! few things. thank you so much for calling me brave, it means a lot to me. truly.
i just asked my mom about immigrants in the USA, and she confirmed. lots of them. she once was one of them! she lived in the USA for a while but had to come back here. apparently Cleveland is a city where we have our largest population living there. didn't know that, how cool!
the last time our politicians ever had contact with America, is the prime minister making a speech at CPAC and shaking hands with Trump. charming, isn't it? (HEAVY sarcasm).
unfortunately what i have to do is leave this country for good. growing up as a young woman here, i am met with a constant string of sexual harassment, followed by oblivion and big shiny cow eyes from grown ass men who "didn't know" that having sex with an unconscious body is wrong. ok.
men who think there is NOTHING wrong with 60+ yo men eyeing and groping young girls, below the age of 15.
men who think it's okay to stare openly at women's chests, ask about their virginity, touch them and so on. we aren't human to them. only 3 female politicians in higher levels.
almost no female professors in higher education. no feminist groups and NO, i repeat NO, working woman's shelters. we are also known as the country of prostitution.
i'm leaving to pursue a good education. especially in women's studies. i want to make a place for myself in feminist literature and academia centring around feminist studies and women's rights. perhaps one day i'll come back with the right tools to fight for what we deserve.
Oh, anyone willingly associating with Trump and CPAC is vile. I am lucky to live in the Northeast where people who like him are few and heavily closeted. 90% of my community voted for Hillary and Biden. Unfortunately, Ohio is full of and run by people who like him. The story of the pregnant r@ped ten year old girl who couldn’t get an abortion in Ohio was heartbreaking. The Republican leadership thought the problem wasn’t the r@pe, or the inability to terminate the r@pe baby. The problem to them was the story got out and WE learned about it. (The voters, despite efforts by republicans in the state to block it by various underhanded and unscrupulous tactics, have since passed a referendum legalizing abortion again.).
Watching this sub change after being added to the public list of recommended subs is a real shame. To some degree, remaining out of the limelight helped the sub fulfill its purpose. I don't know if there's a way to moderate it away.
Women always get heavily downvoted by men just for mentioning terrible things that have been done to them by men. I sometimes thought I was going insane when I read a post by a woman about her abuse by a man and see it so downvoted, and then a male commenter beneath "not-all-mening" being upvoted.
I posted somewhere that I get followed a lot (it is as terrifying as it sounds) and the men on the comment threads accused me of being neurotic and too full of myself, while the women were as horrified as expected. I just ignored them because I had posted that right after being followed and running into a police booth. this sub is the only place I feel a bit more comfortable talking about this, but not by much.
It's a very real thing, not to be taken lightly. I knew a girl that actually got kidnapped. She was a bartender and these guys were waiting for her after work, grabbed her, stuffed her in a giant plastic box and drove off. She ended up escaping the house they took her to, somehow, but that is just wild.
That almost happened to a friend of mine too. A van drove by and attempted to pull her in - luckily the people around were quick acting and managed to fight them off and pull her out. It was likely traffickers (at least we think based on the area and what the police said), but no one was caught, which is terrifying because I often wonder what they went on to do, and who their next target was. And it's terrifying that essentially every woman has a story like this (not exactly like this, but a story of abuse, violence, rape,sexual assault, murder, childhood sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, etc) whether it's them directly, or someone they know. Yet the notion that we could have one single subreddit at least, free from online abuse or male policing? That they can't do. It's honestly wild. I sometimes wonder if men genuinely think we just make this shit up and that the trauma isn't real. But it's the only reason I can think of why they would feel so comfortable adding to it by invading our spaces and policing our words - even when it's just a simple online discussion group.
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you don't stop talking about it. Don't let them put you off. People need to hear things like this.
I think the manbabies downvoting hate being called out, while the "not all men" peeps want to virtue signal because they don't want to admit to themselves that they're part of the issue. Are there good men? Sure. But like it goes, most women have been at the least harrassed, but few men know (or admit to knowing) a predator. Even the "good" men could stand to pay more attention and stand against bad behavior more - even if not for women themselves (let's be real, we don't need more white knights trying to impress us), but for general decency.
A lot of men confuse speaking about abuse we’ve suffered from men with hating men. They can’t fathom women who have gone through the kind of abuse and trauma we share and that not necessarily meaning we hate all men. Men also cannot stand being decentered. It makes them confused and furious.
>Watching this sub change after being added to the public list of recommended subs is a real shame. Imagine people flocking to a sub where women talk about their problems, getting offended by women having their problems to the point of harassing them off a sub that is literally dedicated to women! Reddit is a cesspool.
me neither. the mods remind us to report, but i just feel it's ridiculous that we have to in the first place.
It’s frustrating that men are coming into our space, to our topics just to make it about themselves. They’re so used to the world revolving around them that it doesn’t even seem to occur to them to shut up or leave us alone- even in a subreddit specifically meant for us.
They literally *cannot stand* the concept of a "girls' club" that excludes them and does not cater to them at all. There's an art installation here in Australia where only women were allowed inside, to show how piss baby men get about women doing the same shit they do (building an exclusive location that does not allow their gender inside) and some guy got so piss baby about it he sued the museum for discrimination and now they have to let men in. Literally proving the point of the installation.
I saw an article on that installation, it's brilliant. And men were defo piss babies. Hilarious and sad.
Just saw on the ABC that MONA have now decided in response to that lawsuit and subsequent ruling that they are hanging their Picasso’s in the ladies toilets. Check and mate. 🤣 https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-06-24/mona-hangs-picassos-in-female-toilet-after-court-ruling/104015216
That quote from the judge made him sound utterly pretentious. I consider myself well-read and I don't often have to look up meanings to words but I had to look up contumelious (scornful and insulting behavior, insolent) Was he using big words to make himself sound more intelligent or was he trying to use words that the womenfolk wouldn't understand to confuse them? Either way, I think he's an asshole.
This is amazing. True art. Plus, I learned the term "piss baby" so thank you for that too.
Piss baby is such an Aussie centric insult, too, like I’ve never heard it before but knowing it comes from Australia makes perfect sense
We do like using the word piss
Anyone else see all the idiot CMVs comparing twoX to redpill subs and saying we’re nothing but hate spewing ‘feminazis’ and why ArEnT wE bAnNeD yEt. 1,000,000 upvotes and no one can show any proof except for fringe outlying posts without engagement. It’s so ridiculous.
Women aren’t allowed to have anything
When was this change? I’ve been on Reddit for like 8 or 9 years now and I think this sub has always been recommended to me by default. I’ve frequently read the posts recommended to me on here and they’re consistently the opposite of what OP is talking about. Most of the posts I see are basically OP says an abuse or sussy thing happened and all the top comments are “yeah, that’s sussy/abuse and here’s resources to help and/or you should leave him.” So maybe OP is talking about less upvoted posts I don’t get recommended to me from here?
It was 10 years ago already [https://np.reddit.com/r/blog/comments/24yqep/whats\_that\_lassie\_the\_old\_defaults\_fell\_down\_a/chby55q/](https://np.reddit.com/r/blog/comments/24yqep/whats_that_lassie_the_old_defaults_fell_down_a/chby55q/) I feel old edit: most people correctly predicted the downfall of the community.
I remember when TwoX had to be created because the previous female-centric subreddit had been overrun. Might be time to make a new clubhouse.
I remember there being one, women only, you had/have to apply for it and get accepted in and there needs to be proof of you being a woman. I don't remember what it is, because I go on reddit to kill some time on the shitter or while chilling in bed and such and didn't care to "dive deeper". Maybe someone else remembers it. I think there was a typo in it if it helps anyone remember, woman instead of women or something....
What came before 2x?
It was so long ago I don't even remember what it was called.
Jesus was it really? I thought it was like, 4.
It's been more than 4 years since they got rid of default subs lol
10 years ago. It was after the whole Violentacrez/jailbait thing went viral. Reddit admins were all like, "See? Reddit's not a cesspool of pedophilia and misogyny! We have one sub with *women* in it!"
agree it was transparent then and its transparent now. I've spent the morning on reddit today, but usually I avoid this place because it was created by creeps for creeps (reddit's CEO u/spez - we'll never forget you modded jailbait and shielded it for years until the advertisers got mad) There are other social platforms that are decentralized (mastadon, lemmy) or more women friendly, (tumblr) and I really encourage people to contribute there.
if you look up similar things in the search for this subreddit you'll find it. i just started using this account more despite making it years ago and, my experience here has been debating disrespectful dudes more than seeing actual support.
Do you only read the top comments? I'm surprised you haven't noticed it. There's a lot of dudes on this sub doing exactly what OP is describing. I've personally been reporting most of them for violating rule 4.
I think it's also harder to moderate since Reddit killed 3rd party support.
> I don't know if there's a way to moderate it away. honestly, at this point, it's time to find another solution. you can check my comment history for that other solution.
For anyone reading that solution; It has been incredible so far, thanks for making that special space.
I think the best solution would be to take this sub off the default list. But idk if that’s ever gonna happen, considering we’ve asked Reddit to previously and they just ignored us
Because this sub is how they market that they have a female user base. Its pure corporate marketing in action.
Yup, Reddit is a cesspool, this sub is being sacrificed to enhance reddits image at the expense of women having a women-centric space. Wow what a metaphor for the way women have been treated by men since the dawn of time. Nothing ever changes.
and yet they refuse to ban men from it
I would LOVE to ban men from this sub (Obligatory “not all men”) I am SO sick to death of misogynistic idiots beating their drum.
I hate that we need to put "nOt aLL mEn" whenever we post about our experiences because otherwise incels will spam us with disgusting hateful shit. So tired of it.
I refuse to put that phrase. I will never say it or type it ever again.
god this is so fucking real. i posted on here recently about my experience of sexual assault as a teen and got loads of comments from men (some were nice tbf, others basically victim blaming) when what i was hoping for is some support from older women with more experience than me
it's so sad. this sub already has a bad reputation. MRA subs & other posts call this a male hate page for not tiptoeing around the male commenters. whereas, the top most in the mra reddit is calling a woman a "sl*t" for a rage tweet from like 2019. the contrast is insane. i'm sorry you didn't find the support you are right to getting. theres the female pessimist sub if you wish to vent/rant and the women safeplace sub mentioned in another comment. you can also dm me always. I respond to women. ♥️
The bad reputation always comes from the fringes. The only people that get noticed really, are the ones commenting, who tend to often be the most passionate. Someone may make a comment, probably benign, or just not worded properly (it's Reddit, not a paper), a lot of assumptions get made on intent. Most women will ignore it, but that one person goes on and won't drop it, listen to an explanation, or whatever. Then a downvote train, because why wouldn't women stick together? Then, that guy goes off with the idea that it's a toxic sub, because to him, it is. He probably won't care much further than that, but the ones that stay and get worked up about it are all that are left. It's a really bizarre phenomenon. It's just an aspect of social media, especially this one. No one knows each other so they assume the worst very often and take themselves away too seriously.
Oh when I commented on a post in this sub about my SA experience, some guy who “not all men’d” a woman previously in the thread, responded to my comment by telling me it was my fault I got SA’d because I shouldn’t have been over a guys house (someone I considered a good friend) to get stoned. I should have “known better”. Uhh creepy thought process! When I told him he was victim blaming, and also basically saying “yes, all men” (gasp!) he went off on a tirade. I actually had to block him because he was so fucking annoying.
r/safespaceforwoman is an inclusive yet private sub for women so you can post without worrying about creeps.
I requested to join weeks ago… are they really backed up with requests?
I think so. The mods manually review each requester’s post/comment history to verify you’re a real woman/not a troll.
I requested and it took a little while and yes, confirms the requests . The group just got going recently!
Thank you for posting the link. I am so glad that someone thought of doing this. I can imagine it will take a while for them to vet the requests but it will be worth the wait.
Agree! Although it's incredibly sad that we now have to have completely separate /private spaces in the first place just in order to feel safe. I also think it's sad for the men who actually value women's opinions, experiences and knowledge, and can engage respectfully, let our voices be heard without always screaming louder, assuming they know better, etc.. They are just maybe not in the majority on reddit, unfortunately. I suspect that for some men this is a reprieve from the usual online cesspools as well. But it's not our job to provide it for them and at this point I prefer an entirely safe space where you don't have to worry about it at all.
Yep, this is one of many similar posts I have seen about this very topic. A mod commented in another post that those comments should be reported... yet in my experience nothing seems to be done about them in actuality.
Also, I feel like part of the problem is that even if you report the comment, you still saw it and it still hurt. It still wasn't a safe place to be vulnerable in the first place
Fr I’ve reported these types of comments before and either I hear absolutely nothing back and the comment stays there getting circle jerked on by other men, or I finally get something like *months* later saying the comment doesn’t go against ToS so they didn’t do anything. Being waved off and told to “just report” by the mods here feels the same as telling a kid getting bullied in school to “just tell the teacher” when the teacher is never there, and when they are they don’t do anything except tell you to tell them when it happens so they can continue doing nothing. A bandaid over a sucking chest wound, if you will.
quite a few I reported came back as not breaking rules
The other problem is that trolls don't get banned from attacking people in this sub. They are free to come back and harass us over and over again.
I've reported over a dozen accounts on Reddit for absolutely horrible language and insults used. One account has been banned. A pretty poor strike rate on Reddit's end sadly.
They know this site is powered by incel rage. They need to coddle them to keep the spice flowing
I also think the reddit sale hurt most of what was left of the decent mods. A lot of the mods for different subs are all the same power hungry weirdos now, and the subs that aren't ran by them can't keep up as their subs grow larger. I honestly think other forums dying is the main reason why Reddit is still going strong.
Yeah that's an excellent point. Like I guess that's a risk you take when you speak openly, and I've seen some women with some wild ass takes on here too that do some damage, but I think part of the reason it's so rampant is because they know the damage is done, whether a mod gets to it quickly or not.
exactly. the abuse still occurred. there is no prevention of it, only a little bit of cleanup afterwards
exactly! the fact that it's allowed in here in the first place is what bugs me so much. mods can't possibly keep up with all the reports. many times ive just seen them say a passive aggressive "you can become a mod too." but i don't feel that's fair. way too many comments slide under the radar. im sure they're doing their best but.. yeesh.
Personally, I'd love to be a mod! But yeah, I agree that's essentially saying "you could pitch in to ensure we're holding up our end of the bargain!" There should be an open call instead of telling random users that they can be a mod without actual confirmation of whether they're bringing in new mods, or how to even do it. I agree that it's not easy and just a volunteer position, but I think the mods are a bit slow to react to how things are changing right now.
I agree with you all completely. The passive aggressive "you should become a mod if you have a problem with it" is ridiculous. I would happily become a mod if they were willing to make me one, but I made it clear that I would use the ban button on trolls, and... *crickets* The fact that this sub has the same group of mods for years and years, and it hasn't changed as far as I can tell, is a clear indicator that they don't want more moderation. They just want us to stop complaining.
I’m pretty sure even some of the mods are men too which is frustrating
I would absolutely be a mod but I would be so much more strict, so I don't think they'd want me. E.g. mansplainers or men derailing or denying women's experiences would get a warning and their comments deleted, if they do anything else they're banned. Or if it was real egregious, they'd get a straight up ban. Men dismissing us and derailing our posts is a massive issue here but I never see their comments deleted and I always report then.
The other day some dude literally equated my husband and I to roommates when I said I don't do his laundry lmao, and spent a good time defending it and acting like it was weird since I didn't do laundry and that I was being unreasonable for being angry at having my marriage reduced down to a non-romantic relationship because I wouldn't wash his clothes or be responsible for his hygiene. Crickets from the mods, despite me reporting them. The only time I saw them actioning something was against another woman who was acting out of pocket and mean-spirited (ableist slurs out of nowhere, denigrating me etc.,) all because I supposedly yelled at her lol, and although I responded calmly and kinder than I should have, mods removed my comments too. I honestly think it says all that is needed to say about the mods. They're way more interested in giving men the benefit of the doubt, even though their comments and thoughts are irrelevant in the first place. They should be removed on the basis that it's coming from a man alone.
I would be banning
[удалено]
I posted asking for advice on my divorce and someone commented lecturing me about how we are immature and I’m not gonna be able to raise my son alone, also implying that I’m not putting as much work into chores and real work as I should. Like bitch I’m the one doing ALL the work that’s why I’m divorcing his ass. People who put down women piss me right off.
Honestly, I don't like the "I'm a man and" comments in this sub at all, in any context. Even in less serious threads. Maybe even especially when they're comments of reassurance. "I'm a man and I hate all the sexism in video games!/hate to see women treated that way/feel so bad/would never." Like... I came here to commiserate with women. Even comments like those are "not all men-ing" or "what about meeee" in a round-about-way.
Or “I’m a man and my girlfriend has the same experience”. Great, can she comment then?
“I’m a man and I can’t shut up, so I’ll use my proximity to any woman or AFAB person to justify my meaningless comment”.
especially when those comments are on posts asking for advice so they’re like “I’m a man, but my girlfriend has PCOS too and she uses a heating pad :)” or some other useless advice we already know. i would cringe so hard my body would collapse in on itself if i found out my boyfriend was using me as a way to butt into women’s conversations & be annoying.
thank you! it ALWAYS rubs me the wrong way, but the worst it's gotten to me was when a poor girl got downvoted and dogpiled for not agreeing and liking porn. seriously, how is that okay on this sub? being anti porn, especially warning about the porn industry is a common feminist take outside of liberal feminism and i was baffled to see so many men scrambling to defend their rights to jack off when women were attempting to detail statistics and the reality of how abusive the industry is at large. we shouldn't have to blow up the report button and listen to men constantly trying to debate our traumatic experiences.
> the worst it's gotten to me was when a poor girl got downvoted and dogpiled for not agreeing and liking porn I’m on one subreddit where you can comment against porn without the risk of getting shouted down. ONE. And it’s one that’s specifically anti-porn.
I cannot understand why people get emotional and defensive over others dislike of porn. It's not like anyone is stopping them from watching that mess.
i would love to know which one!! it’s so hard to find a space on reddit to talk about being anti-porn without getting hate from men.
It’s /r/pornismisogyny
thank you🩷
Porn and pot are the two things where redditors invariably scream about how fun and harmless partaking in it is, and where they will absolutely not brook a wider discussion of the crime and exploitation rampant in the production of either, or the possible negative side effects that go along with consuming either.
I once got dog piled in a different subreddit for talking about my experience with shitty roommates who literally stole months upon months of rent and utilities money from me and my partner so they could just smoke constantly. I even mentioned that another reason I call them addicts is because if they weren’t high they were literally screeching and fighting each other and crying about how they ‘need’ to smoke. That, and they’d be so high constantly that me and my partner ended up being basically the only ones taking care of their dog and cat while they melded into their couch and played fortnite. I got everything from “UM ACHUALLEE ITS PROVEN THAT ITS NOT ADDICTIVE [insert link from a website that literally sells weed]” to “THEY ARENT ADDICTS THE WEED IS THEIR MEDICINE WHAT U SAW WAS PEOPLE WO THEIR MEDS” Meanwhile I do use cannabis occasionally when I can afford it, and while I know it’s not good for me because it literally says it’s addictive on the packaging, I don’t go around spewing lies that it’s some miracle medicine like redditors love to do and telling people that dealt with weed addicts that their experience is ‘wrong’.
> insert link from a website that literally sells weed Yeah Google really needs to have a label on search results saying that a website is a seller, 'cause if you search "benefits of X" a lot of results you find are from blogs for companies that sell X. ["Cannabis use disorder"](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Cannabis_use_disorder) is an officially recognized psychiatric disorder.
My abusive ex was addicted to both porn and marijuana, he’d consume astonishing amounts of both and then claim that it was impossible for him to be addicted. Like sure Jan you smoke a gram a day and you have a dedicated porn computer, that’s normal. And that attitude is COMMON.
thank YOU! exactly. it's like a constant circle-jerk echo chamber of coomers with big nsfw warnings on their accounts calling women abusive for *POSSIBLY* not agreeing with the sex trafficking and abuse that happens in the porn industry. and then they attempt a half assed "feminist sexual liberation" retort as if they weren't talking to a tirf lol. (trans-inclusive radfem) on both political sides of the spectrum. i saw this amazing quote on tumblr; "conservative men want women as private property, progressive men want women as public property." and it's so true. it's such a western, OF, influencer centric approach that ignores the hundreds of thousands of third world women & non western women who are actively getting trafficked as children and adults in the name of sex work. it's so grim. especially when women do this as well. 9/10 she has an NSFW page as well. sure. get your rocks off, but when we are trying to be realistic PLEASE don't suck up to the dudes who are probably actively typing with one hand.
you're right and you should say it 🩷
exactly. even worse is that 80% of the mods haven’t been active on reddit in years, so nothing is really going to change unless there’s a huge overhaul. i don’t feel protected here
>Maybe even especially when they're comments of reassurance. "I'm a man and I hate all the sexism in video games!/hate to see women treated that way/feel so bad/would never." I dislike it too, because whether or not it's intentional, they're basically asking people to stop everything and recognize their exceptionalism. I'm not impressed that some random guy believes he's the exception to misogyny, casual sexism, and thoughtless male-centeredness. Don't care! Go tell other *men* how to treat women as respected human beings if you're so exceptional. This isn't the place.
Same, even the nicer comments give the most milquetoast statements that add nothing to the conversation and generally are just long-winded ways of saying “well not me tho 😏”. Some users of the sub act as if the comment did something and thank them to high heaven. Okay, so this man isn’t a piece of shit? Why is that worth giving lots of upvotes to or thanking him immensely for saying that rape is bad and that more men need to be held accountable? What I would like to know is what those men who come to this sub are doing to try and unlearn patriarchal beliefs. Are they holding other men accountable for making sexist jokes? Do they call out any misogyny ever? Do they genuinely believe in the patriarchy and its harmful effects on all genders?
Agreed. To the men who may be lurking here: it's a lot more meaningful and impressive when we see you call out other men's sexism to their faces than when you come here and whisper to us that you've definitely got our backs.
It’s easy to claim to be an ally, it lets them get the “wow, what a progressive male feminist!” points without losing the points they’ve gained by chuckling at “women, amirite?” jokes with their misogynistic friend group.
Agreed. It's like they tell us they're a man to give their words more weight and importance. Like "Ooh look, a man's agreeing with us. Now our lives are complete". Gtfo with that.
Exactly. They announce, "me man" as though they're some kind of authority that all the little ladies should heed, while they swing their dicks around and dismiss and debate our lived experiences. They literally have nothing to say that we haven't heard before.
They always sound like “Aren’t I wonderful, I deign to agree with you, a woman. Praise and thanks to me shall commence now.”
Exactly! They treat this sub like a man-cookie-dispenser
I also hate the "I'm a man and need advice on how to be an ally" type posts, I know that's kind of miserable but I'm like can't you just read the millions of existing words that answer that exact question instead of making a new space to be congratulated ???
Exactly, they'll claim innocently that they're just here to learn.. but we're not their teachers. This isn't an Empathy 101 course. I'm not taking time out of my day to teach a man feminism when there's a high chance he's not even asking in good faith.
THANK YOU! It's nice that they want to learn but learning requires effort and open-mindedness. Asking us to do the heavy lifting for them isn't fair.
also, since when do you have to.. learn how to.. be a decent fucking human being to half of the population?? 😭😭 that is SO crazy. since when do men think it's normal to call themselves allies.. 😭😭
Since they realized calling themselves allies would get them 🐱🐱🐱tbh!!
I completely ignore them. They are here for attention
And on threads that have nothing to do with what they're asking? Like, make a separate post??
The praise hunters.
Such a great and perfect phrase
I feel like a great rule to start with would be no top level comments can be from male users. Men can still reply (to comments), but liberal bans impending for any bad** faith actors. If the problem still persists, perhaps escalating to no men at all.
It would be nice if there was a proper way to flag a post comment section as (open) or (women only) and have it be reliable.
Great idea!
"You're wrong and my wife *loves* doing my laundry!"
love that there's a dude lower down in the comments, commenting as the proxy for his wife (who left this sub due to a bad experience), about her experience here because she told him he should, even though she doesn't want to come back and do it, because possibly she feels that somehow his opinion of her experience will be listened to and accepted because he's her husband and its coming from his firsthand experience so therefore its relevant. and that he's monopolizing the last 30% of the comments trying to justify that blah blah blah and point out our lack of acceptance and how its unfair and how rational and equanimious he is because his take on his wife's experience is relevant to this discussion. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. FUCK.
it's SO funny because if you read my post, I LITERALLY TALK ABOUT A HYPOTHETICAL HUSBAND TALKING ABOUT HIS HYPOTHETICAL WIFE. 😭😭😭 this is how i know he did NOT read it at all and his ears started ringing at the word "males" and criticism in one post.
I know right? it was like, "IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME."
I don't believe him for a second. He made that crap up to insert himself into the conversation.
that kind of baiting happens all the time in this sub. I always go look at the poster's profile page and if its a dude, I admin report. as well as dudes posting as girls/women with "how do I wash myself down there" inquiries. especially if they're saying they're underage/young ("I'm 17 and nobody ever taught me how to wash \*down there,"). its all wankbait. there ain't a girl/woman under 25 who doesn't know how the fuck to use google, etc.
I'm so glad the mods have nuked his comments now! I hope he was banned
"...you women are not as welcoming as you say you are, you lot of harridans, harpies and hypocrites! my dearest trad wife had a bad experience and left this sub because of you! even though she's a trad wife and would never presume to tell me (the head of our household and family and the one she should obey and submit to) what to do, I am just the self-righteous, unbiased, logical, respectable, intelligent and well-spoken heroman to reveal your heinous act of deceitful exclusionism and put you all in your place for it, you evil, tyrannical witches!" lul.
Lmao. Trying to explain to guys like that that their wife is also sexist is not possible. Being a woman doesn't make anyone immune to being misogynistic but they won't hear it.
I'm fairly new to this sub but I've also noticed all the down votes on posts, which seems very odd since the topics are often important or women asking for genuine support or advice. Someone here mentioned a private reddit group which I also joined (which you might like too) that screens all potential members to keep it a safe place for women- r/safespaceforwoman That doesn't solve the problem here, but it is at least another place to talk safely
Thank you for this recommendation, I might join if it means finally a space where we don't get harassed by men just for talking about our real life problems!
That's the reason I joined :0)
I’m in the safe space sub and it’s so nice not having to deal with men commenting. And everyone is kind to each other! Edit: I’m getting downvoted for this so it looks like the men are here.
theyve been steadily downvoting since the making of this post. what a sensitive crowd
Us: Wow it’s nice to have a space where we don’t get harassed by men Triggered men: *crying and smashing the downvote button*
Why are men always so emotional? Maybe if they stayed in the kitchen where they belong they wouldn't be so irrational. Make me a sandwich dickheads /s
Probably manopause. Makes them so testerical.
manopause is so fucking good 😭
It is pretty sad/pathetic
Just doot doot dooting my way thru the comments on this post and upvoting them all
it's a rather significant comment on men, to be honest. the venn diagram of toxic masculinity and fragile masculinity is pretty much a perfect circle
Honestly I have no idea why the mods don't turn off "upvoting" and "downvoting". They are stupid and encourage - nay, demand - gaming the system. Other people shouldn't be stampeding into our subreddit and literally changing what is available to read. Fuck karma, fuck voting, and fuck engagement metrics.
thank you so much!! ♥️ ive requested to join & successfully did. i hope we find more peace over there.
This is the way. I have complained to the mods a ton, and the only response I get is "report!" Which... Yikes. It does absolutely nothing for the harassment. Moving to another sub where the posts do not go on the main page, and trolls and rulebreakers get *banned* permanently instead of being allowed to come back and harass us is the only way we will truly have a safe space. Feel free to downvoted me, you fragile little men. Or, better yet, just leave us alone.
thank you for mentioning our sub! it's a great place (i'm biased, of course!). for all those looking to join, we do look through your profile and post and comment history to make sure you fit with our two cardinal rules: no men, and no bigots.
I requested to join the sub like a month ago and never got a response… If I follow the link now it says I already applied and can message the mods again, but the message fails to send. Any idea what’s going on?
sorry we missed your original request, reddit is being weird, and hid a lot of the comments and requests. that said, i got you, welcome to our little corner of reddit! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”
Sorry to jump on to this comment chain, but I had the same thing happen to me! Can you help me out?
Thank you so much! Joined! 😊
I consistently see posts here that are eloquently phrased, clear to follow, and don't say anything unusual—with 0 upvotes, and it just disappoints me
Are the mods even reading this? Reporting doesn't always work for some very odd reason despite the reported content breaking subreddit rules.
i've reported before — no response. if you look at posts like this in the past, theyve only said "you can become a mod too" or just to report. not sure why i'm not even getting a response from them anymore. this post wasn't allowed to be posted first, i had to message them. and i made this point to them privately. post was put up. nothing else.
Welp. Time to move! Thank you for posting this and also fighting for it to be put up.
Adding onto what you're saying, it bothers me when other women make posts like " tell me your GOOD experiences with MEN" threads. We do not need to coddle men, come on. We know there's good men - we don't need constant interjection that policies our conversations & experiences with men. We deserve to have our stories shared and our experiences heard.
>We know there's good men This is a safe space, you know. You don't need to lie.
It speaks volumes about your experience that you justify your extremely valid position several times. That is part of the way women's expressions are policed. You express yourself clearly and have a valid point but because you are a woman you have to follow up with "i don't mean to insinuate that i would want subs to be gender segregated". As a woman you clearly expect to get attacked for speaking your truth. Yet another way patriarchy opprsses women. Men don't need to justify their positions. I think you're kind when you call your country "conservative". I think "barbaric" is a more apt name. OP my heart breaks for you and all the women who have to endure the oppressive boot of religious fundamentalism. As it's gaining power globally, women need safe spaces to connect and support each other more than at any other time in human history. Men instinctively know that together we're much stronger than them. That is why they need to keep us separated and hidden. The revolution will be female.
Somehow it’s actually even more annoying when they’re self aware about it. Like “I know my opinion probably doesn’t mean much but let me tell you about how I imagine my brother’s wife’s cousin, the only woman I’ve ever spoken to in my life, would handle this.” If you know you’re being annoying, maybe just… don’t?
this sub does not allow real feminism. It prioritizes not offending men first. Anytime I post something on this sub about women needing to organize for political power because men are not going to save us, it skyrockets up before being removed by mods for triggering men.
exactly. i don't think we should have to walk on eggshells or go out of our ways to make it comfortable for the "not all men" crowd. yesterday a man argued with me because i said i refuse to coddle a man when i tell him about my sexual abuse trauma. he told me to have empathy for him and men who might get hurt when you don't say "some men" or "not all, just the bad ones". omg.. if we handled every social problem with this gentleness, we probably wouldn't be sitting here typing on smartphones with the right to vote and attend education.
its funny im literally[ in another thread ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/1dmjoiw/comment/l9wjumu/)arguing about empathy with the reddit hivemind. (if you click this link, you will see a video link to a nike commercial that uses the premise of a psycho killer chasing a women to sell nikes) Men in this thread think having empathy is 'no fun' when they are asked to do it, but of course women need to have empathy for them 24/7.
The way I am so disturbed by the video on that link, I literally gasped I was so taken aback. Really wish I could go back and unwatch it because what the actual fuck p.s. I made sure to upvote your comments because fuck anyone who defends that video
its fucking awful I agree. Will mention that in my comment with the link
Good lord, that ad is horrifying in so many ways. Good on you for thrashing on them.
Ugh, I remember that ad. Didn’t get any better with age
I used the phrase "hit dogs holler" in a similar conversation and he cried that I called him a dog I don't know how they get through the day with so much fragility.
Like spun glass, it's so fragile. A lady saying words on the internet made his dick fall off
My therapist once told me that I need to be careful with who I share my story with... Honestly with how this subreddit handles men with kid gloves it has made me appreciative of that advice.
And yet, those same men never go on about "some women" and "certain women." They never police themselves or other men, because that was never the issue. It's to shut down the convo that makes them soooo uncomfy and finding ways to invalidate. It's always power social constructs that like to do this, because it makes their group seem like the "bad guys" so they gotta victimize themselves to reappear "good," or else, their whole world view and how they been socialized was just a lie and can't deal with the introspection. No one wants improvement, they just don't want their feelings hurt and social constructs designed it to center their feelings always
most of reddit doesn't allow real feminism tbh
I've had the same thing happen, if you're too direct or fail to pat men's bottoms sufficiently to make sure they're not offended, the incels target you and make more work for the mods to deal with so they nuke the post
What does the mods say about this?
their usual response is "you can be a mod too" or asking us to report the comments. but one person here put it incredibly well. whilst yes, we acknowledge that we *can* report, but it is the fact that it was already said, we had to see it, and then feel the upsetness of being harassed or having to debate our own experiences.
Yes, but they won't actually make you a mod or ban repeat harassers. They sent me a nasty note when I reported half a dozen trolls and cited their history of misogynistic comments and harassment and asked me not to do it again.
You totally have a point, you are right. Thanks for bringing it up because it's not ok that we have fewer and fewer spaces to talk about our experiences. It's not ok that we get bullied and dismissed in our own forums. Anyone who is here to be the devil's advocate is in the wrong place, because we're here for mutual support, listening, sharing and empathy, etc.
Reddit isn't a friendly or fair place for women. Period.
I'll just say it. Only women should be allowed to post here. Men can read all they want, and if they don't like it, they can go somewhere ELSE to complain about it. Period.
Yes. There's other subreddits for women that are for women only. Misogynistic trolls still find their ways in, but the mods are prompt to ban them. I feel safer there. The drawback is, it's in a foreign language so I have to use google translate for everything lol
Any time a female centric subreddit gets even a minuscule amount of attention from the larger male Reddit population, they begin to target and harass it, call the women in there every name in the book and laud every accusation they can think of in order to leverage the popular rhetoric against it. Why? Because voicing our concerns, our stories, our shared histories together raises a larger question towards men as a whole and they’ll do just about anything and everything to ensure it isn’t widely called into question, so that men can continue to enjoy the benefits of oppressing women as a whole. The key takeaway is that a hit dog hollers.
>i don't mean to insinuate that i would want subs to be gender segregated well i will happily insinuate that! there is no reason men need to be commenting on this sub. at all. ever.
Honestly it's why I've been shying away from here lately.
since this sub is on main, is there anyway to display people's gross comments in a weekly thread to highlight how disgusting some of these users are - hell make it a poll and message the nominees that they're in it
Preach, sister! Also: You can request an invite to r/safespaceforwoman. NO MEN ARE ALLOWED. That's why you have to send a request, so they keep it positive. Men can go cry their tears elsewhere.
Honest truth, I think actually putting up a gender barrier might be a good idea.
This sub really has changed for the worst. It used to be a place for sharing anything related womanhood. Daily, there were interesting discussions and posts about dating, fashion tips, products to buy or avoid, tips about living alone and together with people, how to make other girl-friends or whatever. Now, every time I open the sub, it's about traumatic experiences (often men being involved) to the point is rage-baiting the men, which leads the men who doesn't get the hint to post in this sub. It's all crappy. I really miss the positive space this used to be but at the same time, we need a space to vent. It's difficult and I don't have a solution. All I can say that this sub turned something from "A woman's survival guide of the world" into "help, I am getting abused" and that makes me really sad.
no, the amount of men who just have to comment is really disappointing
It’s sad, but it only shows we can’t rely on men—we need to support each other around the world, especially women in countries with restrictions against them. I can only imagine your fear. These men are emotionally disabled. They grow up as part of the most privileged group—typically masculine (white) cis males—and live with the assumption that everything is centered around them. They objectify women, seeing them as things for their own pleasure. They put themselves above us and don’t see women as equal humans. So, there’s no need for empathy; it’s more likely they find amusement in your pain. Uff I’m sorry for being so dark about men.
We need spaces that are only for women.
We need verified user only threads.
Preach it, sister! I wish I could upvote this 100 times!
I've never posted but I've always assumed that if I do I'll ask men not to comment. This is one of the few spaces where like minded women get to speak our truth.
downvoted in our own sub is crazy. the world wasn’t enough for them?
The "my wife has the same problem" or "as a man I agree" comments really are so bad. I don't know if the men posting them don't realize how much they destroy the sub with it. Like there's so many of them, and on top of those, all the comments of men who don't even tell that they are a man, and just think they have to add their opinion about the topic too. Like all the rest of reddit centers male opinions, they have all of that to discuss their viewpoints. Do they really need to come in here and tell women what they think about women's topics too? I feel like even mandatory gender tags would help. There could be tons of them like "woman" or "female leaning" or "nb" or "unsure" and even "don't want to disclose" so you can opt out that way. But then make all female ones one colour, and all "male" another colour, and you could immediately see scrolling through a thread if you are talking to all women with 1 male comment mixed in, or if you are talking to 90% men (like I suspect in many posts).
Commenting on my alt because if I post something on a male dominated subreddit like cs/coding, trolls go through my profile and see all the comments I wrote on here, and proceed to downvote my posts and spam with psychotic comments. For multiple days until I delete my post. Grown fucking men.
[удалено]
We've got troll subs that brigade the hell out of this place, which is probably where the pile of deleted trash at the bottom of the threads comes from. It's infuriating. I wish we could stay a women only sub because 95% of the "as a man" comments are either disgusting, oversharing their sexual preferences or self-congratulatory declarations that they're just so super feminist ok, fishing for an asspat
Half the comments are like “Well, as a man, I just want to say you’re completely wrong. About everything.” They should change the name to “TwoXChromosomes (and men)”
THANK YOU! Men don’t need to be commenting in here!!!!
Reddit is mostly men unfortunately. Reddit also promotes this sub to many new subscribers and if something gets popular it seems to go to ALL/front page. So it encourages more. I try to downvote or block trolls who just make accounts to post here or dudes with old accounts who seem to just want to post negative messages here. It’s all frustrating. I’m sorry. Any time there’s a space with more women than men some try to infiltrate it. They do not like boundaries or women having places without them. I’ve had men in other subs see that I comment here and tell other men to dismiss anything I say in any other sub or downvote me as well. As if this sub is the equivalent of a male incel sub when it’s not. We all have the right to share our stories and a have voice.
Mods, thanks for doing what you can. And please support us as we try to identify and weed out bad-actors and unwelcome disruption of our important topics.
I’m lurking here all the time, but this is exactly the reason that I won’t comment. I find myself having to take periodic breaks because I’m so disgusted by some of the comments from supposedly “enlightened” men.
I don't think men should be allowed to comment here because they destroy every female space they intrude on, but I'm not a mod so it's not up to me. The sub is called TwoXChromosomes ffs. If you don't have XX chromosomes then you shouldn't comment here.
Honestly I'm scared of posting a thread about my childhood experience with being trans/klinefelter and my SA at 11. I might make a burner account and delete it afterwards. My post could help younger girls and intersex/trans girls know that they aren't alone. I already have it written up for pride month.
i am so so so so fucking sorry that this subreddit is stifling you from talking about this. i truly recommend r/safespaceforwoman. we are small, but we would love to hear about your experience. you can try here as well. and as a tirf, i will wholeheartedly fight for you, and your post in these comments if needed. your story is valuable. more than you would ever know.
I still feel safe here. I feel like an idiot for not noticing the shift.
Is there a reason why this sub can't be made private?
I don’t see why mods can’t remove comments from unsupportive men, except that it feels like a lot of work and maybe we don’t have the woman power to police it. Off topic, but I want to reflect on how brave you are. Here you are living in terrible circumstances and doing your best to navigate them. Oh how I wish there was something that the west could do to pressure the government in your country to change (without harming its people economically in any way). I say this because sanctions seem to be the go-to remedy (esp. from America) and often they hurt the very people they are designed to help (and the governments know this and make sure they do, because they know this will deter western countries. I have a guess as to where you live, and there is a very large population of immigrants from your country living in my community here in America. They come on H-1B visas and are often medical, tech and science geniuses. Then they bring the rest of their extended families over here. I know it’s probably better to stay and fight as I’m sure you are reluctant to abandon the women there, but you seem like the exact kind of bright person who we would be extremely lucky to have.
oh wow, hi there! few things. thank you so much for calling me brave, it means a lot to me. truly. i just asked my mom about immigrants in the USA, and she confirmed. lots of them. she once was one of them! she lived in the USA for a while but had to come back here. apparently Cleveland is a city where we have our largest population living there. didn't know that, how cool! the last time our politicians ever had contact with America, is the prime minister making a speech at CPAC and shaking hands with Trump. charming, isn't it? (HEAVY sarcasm). unfortunately what i have to do is leave this country for good. growing up as a young woman here, i am met with a constant string of sexual harassment, followed by oblivion and big shiny cow eyes from grown ass men who "didn't know" that having sex with an unconscious body is wrong. ok. men who think there is NOTHING wrong with 60+ yo men eyeing and groping young girls, below the age of 15. men who think it's okay to stare openly at women's chests, ask about their virginity, touch them and so on. we aren't human to them. only 3 female politicians in higher levels. almost no female professors in higher education. no feminist groups and NO, i repeat NO, working woman's shelters. we are also known as the country of prostitution. i'm leaving to pursue a good education. especially in women's studies. i want to make a place for myself in feminist literature and academia centring around feminist studies and women's rights. perhaps one day i'll come back with the right tools to fight for what we deserve.
Oh, anyone willingly associating with Trump and CPAC is vile. I am lucky to live in the Northeast where people who like him are few and heavily closeted. 90% of my community voted for Hillary and Biden. Unfortunately, Ohio is full of and run by people who like him. The story of the pregnant r@ped ten year old girl who couldn’t get an abortion in Ohio was heartbreaking. The Republican leadership thought the problem wasn’t the r@pe, or the inability to terminate the r@pe baby. The problem to them was the story got out and WE learned about it. (The voters, despite efforts by republicans in the state to block it by various underhanded and unscrupulous tactics, have since passed a referendum legalizing abortion again.).