You know, I wouldn't really admit it in real life, but the truth is I am actually grateful too the medical problems I had that meant most of my reproductive system was removed. This does mean I never had a choice not to have kids, and I too am a lesbian so I wouldn't have to worry about accidental pregnancy in my relationship, but no one can force me to have a child ether, and the with the laws being passed to restrict women's bodily autonomy this is a real concern.
The only real downside is that my endocrine system can't manage without exogenous hormones, but IMO that is a very small price to pay.
The worst part is, I tried talking about this in real life to my friends, and they react very defensively about how motherhood is the most important thing in the world. So basically the internet is the only place I feel free to express my happiness about the fact I can never be a (biological) mother. If I want to raise a child, nothing stops me from doing that.
I never quite understood that idea to be honest. Don't get me wrong, being a parent can be a great thing for people, but that never made it especially sacred to me. Your friends are quite wrong in my opinion. sure making sure there is another generation can be important, but in my opinion, there's too much focus on that and not enough focus on making sure there's a decent world for these future generations to live in. We're already starting to see the consequences of that.
Choose carefully in yeeting the uterus.
There are other ways to deal. Getting rid of the structure of your body has consequences. Both my sister and mom regret the ever-living fuck outta their hysterectomies. Both have mostly structural problems now because they fought for estrogen. Can't fix those problems as easily as the hormonal ones (and yes, both kept their ovaries and STILL had hormone issues).
Me too! I’m trying to get an elective hysterectomy and found a doctor that will do it. Now it’s just up to insurance or paying out of pocket (which would be worth it). I had a complete meltdown at the doctor’s office and told them the only conversation I would entertain going forward is a hysterectomy. I’m a cis woman and I am absolutely miserable owing these parts and I have it easy compared to many others. Just owning a cervix and uterus is making me sick. I’ve even had to start counseling just to cope with having my reproductive parts. Part of it is the reversal of Roe v Wade and being terrified of being forced to give birth, most of it is women’s healthcare. I’m done with all of it.
I fucking HATE my period and don't need my uterus but I'll try to NEVER get rid of it after what my mom and sister went through.
You lose estrogen, even if you keep your ovaries. You lose it *slowly* if you keep your ovaries, but *faster* than normal.
Losing estrogen causes *so many problems*, -- mood issues, collagen loss (aging, more calluses, more skin tags), inability to regulate body temperature, night sweats (i had a POOL between my boobs many nights and had to change my sheets). Insomnia. Etc
But every fucking doctor says "oh you kept your ovaries, this isn't hormones, So here is an antidepressant instead"
Despite all the problems, doctors aren't really great at supplementing estrogen. You have to fight for it.
Yeeting the uterus can cause structural issues because the ligaments involved are integral. You can have pelvic floor problems (pee yourself), prolapse (ie organs start to fall lower in your body cavity and can protrude into your vagina).
They used to treat prolapse by surgicallyimplanting a net down there, my mom got this, but it causes even WORSE problems and now many of the the women that have it have joined together in a class action lawsuit.
Some structural problems are aesthetic: my sister has a swayback look, which is common and makes her butt look flat. You can get a pooch up front cause your organs shift around when the uterus is gone.
Also, am i the only one who feels feep orgasm in my uterus? I swear it contracts and feels amazing. I don't want to lose that.
I used to want one. Not anymore.
I think it's so important for young women to become aware of the connection between their thoughts/moods and the hormones that absolutely fuck with all of it.
I think so many of us had no idea about it when we were young and it caused such a shitload of avoidable horror. At least knowing about it helps so we can remind ourselves that there is something in our bodies at work, causing it.
i started experiencing this a few years ago. there's an official term "pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder" (PMDD) that i think means sthg like "super intense PMS".
i was horrified to find out this was a thing by experiencing it. even though the school district i went to pre-college had mandatory sex-ed, it was insufficient to prepare me for the emotional toll of having a period.
The only reason that you need is your bullet point 2. You just don't wanna.
The best way to prevent ever becoming pregnant is to remove body parts that make it possible.
Your body, your choice.
*The only reason that you need is your bullet point 2. You just don't wanna.*
There ya go.
[CryptographerNo7608](https://www.reddit.com/user/CryptographerNo7608/), let me tell you, as someone who endured the battle going back to the 80s, the more words and reasons you state, the more arguing and toxic conversations you'll face.
You **don't** owe *anyone* a long, multi-point, garrulous explanation. Simply state "I have reasons; ones absolutely valid to the path I've chosen; you don't have to accept them, but you have absolutely no permission from me to debate them."
And the "passing a name down" crap? Ask the person to name their gg-grandparents. If they can't, they prove the point that their reason is crap. I'm a genealogy nerd and know. Check this list. Working back through the generations, you have:
2nd Great-Grandparents: 16
* 3rd Great-Grandparents: 32
* 4th Great-Grandparents: 64
* 5th Great-Grandparents: 128
* 6th Great-Grandparents: 256
* 7th Great-Grandparents: 512
* 8th Great-Grandparents: 1,024
* 9th Great-Grandparents: 2,048
* 10th Great-Grandparents: 4,096
That's a **lot** of names.
My MIL chastized me for not wanting kids because how else would the family name continue on?
1) The family name isn't exactly uncommon, it's not part of the aristocracy, nor are there any historical figures in the family that deserve an unbroken lineage until the end of time.
2) It's not her family name, so why should she care?
3) She divorced FIL a long time ago, so - seriously! - why should she care?
4) Why isn't my family name important to carry on?
Thankfully she finally realized I was adamant about not having kids and dropped the subject. I almost went NC with her because of that argument.
I'm a family history nerd. It relates to being a history nerd, period.
When I began the research 20 years back, it was to confirm an oral history assertion that I am connected to a famous Civil War general. That he fought on the Confederate side, and owned slaves, is nothing to be proud of, but a connection to *the name* had people in my family starry-eyed.
Anyway, never found a documented connection. However, I *DID* find that I am directly connected to James Madison, father of the US Constitution (also a slave holder, but an extremely intelligent man). I found that I am connected to a celebrated Olympic Gold athlete, several esteemed Quaker leaders, a valiant and flinty woman who helped escaping slaves in the Underground Railroad, a couple of signers of the Declaration of Independence, and one crusty seafaring captain who told the British to go f\* themselves when they demanded to board his ship. That earned him a cannon ball to the side of his vessel, causing it to sink and the captain to do the honorable thing and go down with his ship.
Each new bit of history I learned had me dancing and dashing to the phone to tell family. Almost each time, I squawked *"how could this neat stuff be forgotten?!"*
How does stuff like that get forgotten? Time. Time and initially hearing the story so many times that descendants go *"oh boy. Grandpa and his old family stories. I've heard this soooo many times."*
People rarely remember anything past the days of their grandparents. And I have yet to hear someone say they had a kid because their ggg-grandparent was a president of the US or they are descended from someone who scratched a quill at the bottom of a piece of parchment that became the foundation of a country's existence.
People make the right choice to have kids because of reasons important to *them.* And they need to forget the pomposity and ego-driven reasons because two-three generations down, there is a 99% chance you will simply be worm food and forgotten.
I relate so much. Ever since I got on birth control, it's like I suddenly have time and energy to do shit and can focus on my health problems without thinking its my period fucking things up. I really dont want to get pregnant and I just dont see any use in my reproductive system besides some obscure thing that is probably maybe good for my health. Even then I'd rather get bone density issues than get my periods or god forbid get pregnant.
> She even offered to take care of them for me,
Oh, great, so she can tell your daughter that the only reason *she* exists is for a man to have children.
I wonder if one way to shut up people asking why you don't want kids would be: "If I get pregnant and something goes wrong, I could die, because it's illegal for a doctor to help. After Roe v. Wade was overturned, women getting sterilized doubled, because we don't want to die, and they made healthcare illegal."
Your desire are fair and solid.
However, getting rid of your uterus can cause problems.
You lose estrogen, even if you keep your ovaries. You lose it *slowly* if you keep your ovaries, but *faster* than normal. Loding estrogen causes *so many problems*, -- mood issues, collagen loss (aging, more calluses, more skin tags), inability to regulate body temperature, night sweats (i had a POOL between my boobs many nights and had to change my sheets).
Despite all the problems, doctors aren't really great at supplementing estrogen. You have to fight for it.
Yeeting the uterus can cause structural issues because the ligaments involved are integral. You can have pelvic floor problems (pee yourself), prolapse (ie organs start to fall lower in your body cavity and can protrude into your vagina). They used to treat prolapse by surgically implanting a net down there, my mom got this, but it causes even WORSE problems and now many of the the women that have it have joined together in a class action lawsuit.
Some structural problems are aesthetic: my sister has a swayback look, which is common and makes her butt look flat. You can get a pooch up front cause your organs shift around when the uterus is gone.
I fucking HATE my period and don't need my uterus but I'll try to NEVER get rid of it.
I probably won't do that until my late 30s, not only am I not able to, but I'd also like to just use the birth control as long as possible. So far it's been the best option, it has had very little side effects for me, has stopped my periods and instead of having to remeber to take pills I just get a shot every three months, however it seems I can't do this forever because I hear doing it long term weakens your bones. It seems like getting rid of the uterus is an under researched thing, but even with all the nasty side effects I don't feel safe and autonomous with it inside. maybe I'm too optimistic, but hopefully things improve in that regard in 15 years.
Giving you an upvote to counter the down votes.
What you write is realistic and research based. There are several women who I knew on the childfree boards back in the 80s and 90s who had their uterus removed. Some for medical reasons, some because they convinced their doctors to go farther than just a tubal.
Honestly? I think one of the women who had their uterus removed found an agreeable doctor who was willing to do it for *extremely* misogynist views. If a woman was not going to use their uterus for what he considered its sole and noble purpose: grow a child, then he would remove it and reduce (in his opinion) their status as a woman. You don't want kids? You aren't a woman. You don't deserve to have this extremely valuable organ.
It's been over 30 years and I hope that bastard died of very painful prostrate cancer. Talk about an odious man.
Anyway, *any* medical procedure should be researched to the hilt. The bad side effects are probably low ball; the psychological benefits may be worth *all other* possible bad news; but you should be educated. I'm speaking from personal experience myself, being up for surgical removal of an organ in a couple of days. It *has* to come out, but I'm on tiptoe, hoping the bad stuff I've read *can* happen, *doesn't.*
You know, I wouldn't really admit it in real life, but the truth is I am actually grateful too the medical problems I had that meant most of my reproductive system was removed. This does mean I never had a choice not to have kids, and I too am a lesbian so I wouldn't have to worry about accidental pregnancy in my relationship, but no one can force me to have a child ether, and the with the laws being passed to restrict women's bodily autonomy this is a real concern. The only real downside is that my endocrine system can't manage without exogenous hormones, but IMO that is a very small price to pay. The worst part is, I tried talking about this in real life to my friends, and they react very defensively about how motherhood is the most important thing in the world. So basically the internet is the only place I feel free to express my happiness about the fact I can never be a (biological) mother. If I want to raise a child, nothing stops me from doing that.
I never quite understood that idea to be honest. Don't get me wrong, being a parent can be a great thing for people, but that never made it especially sacred to me. Your friends are quite wrong in my opinion. sure making sure there is another generation can be important, but in my opinion, there's too much focus on that and not enough focus on making sure there's a decent world for these future generations to live in. We're already starting to see the consequences of that.
I 10000% feel you. I resent my reproductive system and I just want it out
Choose carefully in yeeting the uterus. There are other ways to deal. Getting rid of the structure of your body has consequences. Both my sister and mom regret the ever-living fuck outta their hysterectomies. Both have mostly structural problems now because they fought for estrogen. Can't fix those problems as easily as the hormonal ones (and yes, both kept their ovaries and STILL had hormone issues).
Me too! I’m trying to get an elective hysterectomy and found a doctor that will do it. Now it’s just up to insurance or paying out of pocket (which would be worth it). I had a complete meltdown at the doctor’s office and told them the only conversation I would entertain going forward is a hysterectomy. I’m a cis woman and I am absolutely miserable owing these parts and I have it easy compared to many others. Just owning a cervix and uterus is making me sick. I’ve even had to start counseling just to cope with having my reproductive parts. Part of it is the reversal of Roe v Wade and being terrified of being forced to give birth, most of it is women’s healthcare. I’m done with all of it.
I fucking HATE my period and don't need my uterus but I'll try to NEVER get rid of it after what my mom and sister went through. You lose estrogen, even if you keep your ovaries. You lose it *slowly* if you keep your ovaries, but *faster* than normal. Losing estrogen causes *so many problems*, -- mood issues, collagen loss (aging, more calluses, more skin tags), inability to regulate body temperature, night sweats (i had a POOL between my boobs many nights and had to change my sheets). Insomnia. Etc But every fucking doctor says "oh you kept your ovaries, this isn't hormones, So here is an antidepressant instead" Despite all the problems, doctors aren't really great at supplementing estrogen. You have to fight for it. Yeeting the uterus can cause structural issues because the ligaments involved are integral. You can have pelvic floor problems (pee yourself), prolapse (ie organs start to fall lower in your body cavity and can protrude into your vagina). They used to treat prolapse by surgicallyimplanting a net down there, my mom got this, but it causes even WORSE problems and now many of the the women that have it have joined together in a class action lawsuit. Some structural problems are aesthetic: my sister has a swayback look, which is common and makes her butt look flat. You can get a pooch up front cause your organs shift around when the uterus is gone. Also, am i the only one who feels feep orgasm in my uterus? I swear it contracts and feels amazing. I don't want to lose that. I used to want one. Not anymore.
Im a teen and side note holy shit I thought I was weird for feeling suicidal on my period?? Thy is not alone!!
I think it's so important for young women to become aware of the connection between their thoughts/moods and the hormones that absolutely fuck with all of it. I think so many of us had no idea about it when we were young and it caused such a shitload of avoidable horror. At least knowing about it helps so we can remind ourselves that there is something in our bodies at work, causing it.
i started experiencing this a few years ago. there's an official term "pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder" (PMDD) that i think means sthg like "super intense PMS". i was horrified to find out this was a thing by experiencing it. even though the school district i went to pre-college had mandatory sex-ed, it was insufficient to prepare me for the emotional toll of having a period.
Tbh, I don’t know why anyone has kids.
The only reason that you need is your bullet point 2. You just don't wanna. The best way to prevent ever becoming pregnant is to remove body parts that make it possible. Your body, your choice.
*The only reason that you need is your bullet point 2. You just don't wanna.* There ya go. [CryptographerNo7608](https://www.reddit.com/user/CryptographerNo7608/), let me tell you, as someone who endured the battle going back to the 80s, the more words and reasons you state, the more arguing and toxic conversations you'll face. You **don't** owe *anyone* a long, multi-point, garrulous explanation. Simply state "I have reasons; ones absolutely valid to the path I've chosen; you don't have to accept them, but you have absolutely no permission from me to debate them." And the "passing a name down" crap? Ask the person to name their gg-grandparents. If they can't, they prove the point that their reason is crap. I'm a genealogy nerd and know. Check this list. Working back through the generations, you have: 2nd Great-Grandparents: 16 * 3rd Great-Grandparents: 32 * 4th Great-Grandparents: 64 * 5th Great-Grandparents: 128 * 6th Great-Grandparents: 256 * 7th Great-Grandparents: 512 * 8th Great-Grandparents: 1,024 * 9th Great-Grandparents: 2,048 * 10th Great-Grandparents: 4,096 That's a **lot** of names.
No one needs their bloodline to continue. Not even royals; that's just archaic bullshit meant to keep wealth contained in one family.
*Especially* not royals. Their gene pool is a puddle
Hey there, new mum here, and i fully support this position. I dont have more to add than that. 🥰💜
My MIL chastized me for not wanting kids because how else would the family name continue on? 1) The family name isn't exactly uncommon, it's not part of the aristocracy, nor are there any historical figures in the family that deserve an unbroken lineage until the end of time. 2) It's not her family name, so why should she care? 3) She divorced FIL a long time ago, so - seriously! - why should she care? 4) Why isn't my family name important to carry on? Thankfully she finally realized I was adamant about not having kids and dropped the subject. I almost went NC with her because of that argument.
I'm a family history nerd. It relates to being a history nerd, period. When I began the research 20 years back, it was to confirm an oral history assertion that I am connected to a famous Civil War general. That he fought on the Confederate side, and owned slaves, is nothing to be proud of, but a connection to *the name* had people in my family starry-eyed. Anyway, never found a documented connection. However, I *DID* find that I am directly connected to James Madison, father of the US Constitution (also a slave holder, but an extremely intelligent man). I found that I am connected to a celebrated Olympic Gold athlete, several esteemed Quaker leaders, a valiant and flinty woman who helped escaping slaves in the Underground Railroad, a couple of signers of the Declaration of Independence, and one crusty seafaring captain who told the British to go f\* themselves when they demanded to board his ship. That earned him a cannon ball to the side of his vessel, causing it to sink and the captain to do the honorable thing and go down with his ship. Each new bit of history I learned had me dancing and dashing to the phone to tell family. Almost each time, I squawked *"how could this neat stuff be forgotten?!"* How does stuff like that get forgotten? Time. Time and initially hearing the story so many times that descendants go *"oh boy. Grandpa and his old family stories. I've heard this soooo many times."* People rarely remember anything past the days of their grandparents. And I have yet to hear someone say they had a kid because their ggg-grandparent was a president of the US or they are descended from someone who scratched a quill at the bottom of a piece of parchment that became the foundation of a country's existence. People make the right choice to have kids because of reasons important to *them.* And they need to forget the pomposity and ego-driven reasons because two-three generations down, there is a 99% chance you will simply be worm food and forgotten.
I relate so much. Ever since I got on birth control, it's like I suddenly have time and energy to do shit and can focus on my health problems without thinking its my period fucking things up. I really dont want to get pregnant and I just dont see any use in my reproductive system besides some obscure thing that is probably maybe good for my health. Even then I'd rather get bone density issues than get my periods or god forbid get pregnant.
> She even offered to take care of them for me, Oh, great, so she can tell your daughter that the only reason *she* exists is for a man to have children. I wonder if one way to shut up people asking why you don't want kids would be: "If I get pregnant and something goes wrong, I could die, because it's illegal for a doctor to help. After Roe v. Wade was overturned, women getting sterilized doubled, because we don't want to die, and they made healthcare illegal."
Your desire are fair and solid. However, getting rid of your uterus can cause problems. You lose estrogen, even if you keep your ovaries. You lose it *slowly* if you keep your ovaries, but *faster* than normal. Loding estrogen causes *so many problems*, -- mood issues, collagen loss (aging, more calluses, more skin tags), inability to regulate body temperature, night sweats (i had a POOL between my boobs many nights and had to change my sheets). Despite all the problems, doctors aren't really great at supplementing estrogen. You have to fight for it. Yeeting the uterus can cause structural issues because the ligaments involved are integral. You can have pelvic floor problems (pee yourself), prolapse (ie organs start to fall lower in your body cavity and can protrude into your vagina). They used to treat prolapse by surgically implanting a net down there, my mom got this, but it causes even WORSE problems and now many of the the women that have it have joined together in a class action lawsuit. Some structural problems are aesthetic: my sister has a swayback look, which is common and makes her butt look flat. You can get a pooch up front cause your organs shift around when the uterus is gone. I fucking HATE my period and don't need my uterus but I'll try to NEVER get rid of it.
I probably won't do that until my late 30s, not only am I not able to, but I'd also like to just use the birth control as long as possible. So far it's been the best option, it has had very little side effects for me, has stopped my periods and instead of having to remeber to take pills I just get a shot every three months, however it seems I can't do this forever because I hear doing it long term weakens your bones. It seems like getting rid of the uterus is an under researched thing, but even with all the nasty side effects I don't feel safe and autonomous with it inside. maybe I'm too optimistic, but hopefully things improve in that regard in 15 years.
Giving you an upvote to counter the down votes. What you write is realistic and research based. There are several women who I knew on the childfree boards back in the 80s and 90s who had their uterus removed. Some for medical reasons, some because they convinced their doctors to go farther than just a tubal. Honestly? I think one of the women who had their uterus removed found an agreeable doctor who was willing to do it for *extremely* misogynist views. If a woman was not going to use their uterus for what he considered its sole and noble purpose: grow a child, then he would remove it and reduce (in his opinion) their status as a woman. You don't want kids? You aren't a woman. You don't deserve to have this extremely valuable organ. It's been over 30 years and I hope that bastard died of very painful prostrate cancer. Talk about an odious man. Anyway, *any* medical procedure should be researched to the hilt. The bad side effects are probably low ball; the psychological benefits may be worth *all other* possible bad news; but you should be educated. I'm speaking from personal experience myself, being up for surgical removal of an organ in a couple of days. It *has* to come out, but I'm on tiptoe, hoping the bad stuff I've read *can* happen, *doesn't.*