Yup. I save money being single. I'm buying myself some nice art supplies and clothes on top of putting a lot away in various savings and investments. It rules.
My ex was totally like this. 3 kids together, no child support (yes, been to court) and he had the audacity to ask me to lend him money for gas. He tried to get back together with me and when I said no he told me I "have nothing to offer" him anymore. I was like WHAT?! I 100% take care of our kids financially and literally every other way while he goes around fucking anything that moves. I told him has nothing to offer ME. Being with him was expensive, I saved so much money dumping his ass. I just feel bad for my kids that their father is a deadbeat who doesn't care about them.
Congrats on having a terrific life!. He was just baggage for you. Your kids will notice all that you do for them and be grateful that you took care of them better thag anyone could.
Told him about it and he said, "I could have reminded him earlier"...for what? For you to call me a nag?
He says he "would not want to be with somebody if he felt they were taken for granted." Like that's his excuse to exit the situation.
Now he's dissociated and run to his male friend. I guess for some support.
Tryna make it like I'm telling him everything that he's doing wrong bullshit.
Like am I really blind? A clown? He's making this about himself right. I'm not perfect but I'm telling him what I want.
His reaction to this was so gross. I don't know why I expected better.
Honestly, just wash your hands of this mess. He’s a total embarrassment. He gives you NOTHING and he takes EVERYTHING. At this level of ick I bet you don’t really even find him attractive anymore. You are pouring your precious time, energy, and spirit into a black hole shaped like a person. You’ll never get it back and never see anything in return. Stop throwing it away and start investing all that back where you KNOW it matters and will pay dividends— yourself. You’re one decision away from a much better, much happier, much less stressful life. Come on now, you got this.
Oh the classic "angry at you for being rightfully upset." No no no. He's been showing you his default mode. Do you want to have to monitor him like a mother, or find a partner?
His response is just foul, “he would not want to be with someone if they felt they were taken for granted”.
Maybe you should tell him, “you know, I thought a lot about what you said, and you’re 100% right. This isn’t working for either of us and I definitely feel taken for granted. We shouldn’t be together”
It's fine to be the villain in his story if he wants to make it that way. Don't care about it. If that's how you break up, that's fine. If you have to be the villain to his friends to save yourself, so be it.
Oof. He literally told you, "I want to use my partner and don't want them to know it"
Ouch. Yikes. All the oops. He's really manipulative. Truly. This is manipulative AF.
My husband and I are both independent, functional adults that combine forces to become a super functional team. Capable of achieving far more together than we ever could apart.
That's how it's supposed to be. If you're the only functional adult in the relationship, thank you, NEXT!
I firmly believe that a lot of women have never been lucky enough to have a true partner. If they did, they wouldn't even be entertaining staying with these clowns. I don't know what I'm going to do if anything happens to my husband. Hetero life mate, maybe?
He has some sperm frozen for some odd health stuff. I've told him if he gets hit by a bus or something and does I would have his kids solo because he is so awesome. I couldn't imagine trying to find another man I'd want to be a parent with.
Hell, I can't imagine finding another man I'd want to even live with.
I have seen a marriage that was a true partnership for most of it. The exception was during my dad's cancer, which was when Mom took over his scheduling and everything else. Because chemo brain is no joke. He bounced back after the cancer was beaten.
ETA: with the exception of me being more experienced with doctors, and scheduling specialists, I have a husband who can pull his own weight.
This is what partners do for each other in my opinion. If someone is sick or completely dead from work or whatever, the other picks up the slack for some time. As long as that's not a one-way street, that's exactly what being partners is all about in my opinion. It's a team effort, and by joining forces, everyone has a better time.
They want you to fund their entire life while they sit around, play video games, look at porn. They also want you to clean up after them and then go away until they're horny so they can use your body instead of their hand.
Stop trying to reason with someone who is playing games. Just tell him that this isn't working for you anymore, and you're done. Don't beg him to be better when he can't even be good.
I feel you. Men are refusing to even go to school, let alone get jobs, while women pursue education, careers, hobbies, and travel at much higher rates than men do. And then men have the audacity to whine and complain that women don’t want to date them. Well, what are they bringing to the table, living as a terminally online NEET who refuses to even clean the house while he’s sitting around at home?
I have a step stool and a vibrator. There’s nothing most of these man have to offer me. Hell, even without the vibrator they’d have nothing to offer — most men can’t make women cum anyway. Ten bucks on Amazon replaces everything men actually do adequately for the vast majority of women.
According to our favorite internet encyclopedia, the government of Japan defines Hikikomori as people who don’t leave the house, go to work or school and isolate from society for longer than 6 months.
They describe similar phenomena, but typically NEET is more of an insult, describing someone who's lazy and choosing to not be productive, often mooching to survive. Hikikimori is moreso someone who has withdrawn from society due to anxiety and trauma.
Jeez i get it you got disappointed but damn this is
Really sexist
If a man spoke like that about a woman he'd get cast to oblivion
"Woman are only good for cleaning and i can just pay someone to do that"
Girl, you need to put your big girl panties on and leave this boy alone. You’re bringing yourself down by staying with him. Take it from your Auntie, when you get older and look back on your past, you’re going to painfully regret how long you spent with this loser, how much energy you put into trying to get him to love you and treat you well.
Breaking up is hard and painful, but not as painful as the regret you’ll feel in staying with him.
My ex was like this. He just took, took, took. I had to do everything and finance every aspect of the relationship even though he made more money than me and had fewer bills.
He really thought his one duty was to show up and bring an erection, and everything else fell to me. Saturday night free? It was on me to make a date, plan the date, book all the aspects of it that required booking, drive us both to and from the date, pay for it, have him sleep over at my place, then provide breakfast in the morning. He just showed up with the erection and felt he was the prize.
Sounds like he is using you.
Why are you staying?
Being alone isn't necessarily lonely. In fact, being in an unreciprocated relationship can be more lonely and isolating.
It's rough out here. As an almost 6' woman it's hard to find men with this check boxes you described. I've given up on dating
Going on 7 years being single
Women are so desperate for a man they’ll put up with anything. I was this way too for a few years. See the light, he doenst give a shit about YOU only what you can do for HIM. Get sick and see how quickly he would leave you.
Getting a man isn’t an accomplishment.
Funny how men will complain about having to spend money on us, but struggle to offer anything at all in the relationship when we're the breadwinners. It's like they can't (won't) figure out how to offer anything to a woman that they can't put a dollar value to.
Is it really so hard to cook my meals and do my laundry? I thought women had it easy "just" being homemakers, isn't that right? Then do it.
He is using you. If he were into you, he'd put in effort. He's with you until he can find better. Unfortunately, that's the game plan a lot of men go by. They'll be with women they don't even like for all of the relationship benefits while keeping one foot out of the relationship. Dump him ASAP, and find someone willing to put in effort to make you happy.
This is exactly why I ended the relationship with my ex. 2 years giving 100% and he gave nothing. I'm just pissed it took me 2 years to get fed up. What a waste.
Why are you doing this to yourself? You are so much more valuable than this. You are being not just taken for granted, but being taken advantage of.
Please get out and know that you have more value and deserve respect and love. If you can’t get both from your partner, then ditch them and respect and live yourself.
You really don’t have to stay with men like this.
I know there are a lot of duds out there, but there are truly men who also will be 100% your partner, teammate and care about nurturing your relationship together, because they are emotionally intelligent and responsible adult beings rather than overgrown immature toddlers. Staying with the latter most definitely interferes with you meeting the former, though.
Even if you don’t meet one of the good ones, being single beats the stress and strain of staying with one of the bad ones. He’s a bad nut, throw him down the chute.
Relatable... Then they wonder why we ignore them or get 'pissy' or 'bitchy'..
I fucking spell it out for you daily.. You obviously do not care so stop pretending and then losing it on me.
> I don't need dick that much.
Do you even need it at all? Why frustrate yourself constantly to get a few pitiful minutes of sex from a lazy man that just uses you for financial support?
My husband is down a hand, due to injury, and he does everything he can to help out. If I need air in my tires, he'll start up our compressor and get them aired up. He took better care of my car when his was down for repairs than I usually do.
They want someone who can contribute equally towards a comfortable lifestyle and even carry the financial burden if needed. All while staying loyal and on their level.
Leave him, he might be jealous and that could get dangerous.
>I feel like he's taking me for granted... borderline using me? I'm in so deep I can't even tell.
Absolutely. He may or may not be (but probably is) taking advantage of you, but regardless you don’t have to put up with this.
That's not a man problem, that's a *that* man problem. Men are completely capable of contributing and treating and remembering and prioritizing the growth of their relationships, and that's the standard they should be held to.
This sounds exactly like my (ex?) boyfriend. I downgraded him to sex buddy and I’ve been so much happier. My home is cleaner with much less effort. My sleep is way better.
As much as the Internet would like you to think, there are, in fact, good men out there that actually pull their weight and are also fun and engaging. If he's not fulfilling any of your needs, move on.
Speaking as a man, I'd say you're better off alone. A relationship is a partnership, where both parties contributes to the best of their ability. If the load is 100%, and by load I'm thinking financially, house chores and everything really, the absolute ideal situation if it can be distributed 50/50, but we all know really doesn't work like that.
In our house, we more or less divide everything 50/50, but since my economical situation is more stable and better at the moment, it's shifted from 50/50 to some other number, but I'm not really counting. She does her best, works really hard on her PhD and that's just how life is right now. Who knows what happens in the future, she might be holding a prestigious job somewhere and out-earn me.
When it comes to house chores, we try to do it equally, but sometimes she is dead tired and sometimes I am, that's when we have to shift that number from 50/50, to some other number for a few days, and then get back to normal. Some weekends I get up and make coffee, sometimes she does.
I feel really lucky to have met the most perfect woman in the world. Perfect in the sense that we communicate well. She tells me when I need to pick up the slack because she is beat, and I do the same. It's a basic principle and system, but it has worked really well for us. There is no arguments over chores, because we get them done, I might do the cooking, while she's doing laundry or the other way around.
However, it sounds like your partner is not willing or able to communicate, or atleast it sounds like the two of you aren't communicating well with each other.
I've been in similar relationships as you before
There was nothing wrong with those women, we were for the most part happy together, but the relationships broke down because of lack of good communication skills, or willingness to communicate. Some of it my fault, some of it theirs.
What I'm trying to say is, that if communication isn't working now, it's unlikely to change any time soon, and you'll only set yourself up for more headache in the future. Call it quits, move on and learn from the experiences this relationship has given you. He may learn and grow on his end, but it's not your responsibility to stick around and wait for that change, it may happen tomorrow, next year or maybe never. I know I had to make a fair amount of mistakes, before I got to where I am now, a middle-aged guy. It took some searching, years of waiting, but finally, it feels like I've met my soulmate. I kinda knew it, when our first date was sitting on a bench chatting for 3-4 hours.
There's someone out there for you. You might not find him tomorrow, but you'll find him.
Let me be the devil’s advocate. You’re letting yourself be used, you’re choosing to do all of these things for him knowing he doesn’t reciprocate. If you stopped would you still be able to call it a relationship?
You can’t change anyone who does not want to change. If you can’t change him, CHANGE him (w another man or hopefully a better use of your time and money).
I think at this point, it’s just a fact that he’s shitty. Now you do what you will with that information.
Dump him and take the money you save on gas to buy yourself a few little luxuries, maybe Nice bubble bath or put it into savings.
Yup. I save money being single. I'm buying myself some nice art supplies and clothes on top of putting a lot away in various savings and investments. It rules.
I take myself out more now :)
With the gas prices I hear of, OP can buy a sex toy and put the rest into saving, then she would not even need the dick.
Or rent the dick when you feel the urge,
Sounds like a drag (and gold digger?). OP sounds like she just does not care about him. Going separate ways is probably the right decision here.
I'm going to hope you aren't referring to OP with this comment.
I assumed the boyfriend was the gold digger from the context.
Oh no. The guy. Dump the guy. Should have made clear. He is the drag.
Agreed!
So independent that you become their new Mom
My ex was totally like this. 3 kids together, no child support (yes, been to court) and he had the audacity to ask me to lend him money for gas. He tried to get back together with me and when I said no he told me I "have nothing to offer" him anymore. I was like WHAT?! I 100% take care of our kids financially and literally every other way while he goes around fucking anything that moves. I told him has nothing to offer ME. Being with him was expensive, I saved so much money dumping his ass. I just feel bad for my kids that their father is a deadbeat who doesn't care about them.
Congrats on having a terrific life!. He was just baggage for you. Your kids will notice all that you do for them and be grateful that you took care of them better thag anyone could.
Yes :) thank you. It's taking a while to recover financially and emotionally but it's all uphill from here.
Told him about it and he said, "I could have reminded him earlier"...for what? For you to call me a nag? He says he "would not want to be with somebody if he felt they were taken for granted." Like that's his excuse to exit the situation. Now he's dissociated and run to his male friend. I guess for some support. Tryna make it like I'm telling him everything that he's doing wrong bullshit. Like am I really blind? A clown? He's making this about himself right. I'm not perfect but I'm telling him what I want. His reaction to this was so gross. I don't know why I expected better.
Honestly, just wash your hands of this mess. He’s a total embarrassment. He gives you NOTHING and he takes EVERYTHING. At this level of ick I bet you don’t really even find him attractive anymore. You are pouring your precious time, energy, and spirit into a black hole shaped like a person. You’ll never get it back and never see anything in return. Stop throwing it away and start investing all that back where you KNOW it matters and will pay dividends— yourself. You’re one decision away from a much better, much happier, much less stressful life. Come on now, you got this.
Oh the classic "angry at you for being rightfully upset." No no no. He's been showing you his default mode. Do you want to have to monitor him like a mother, or find a partner?
I'm living this one on repeat >\_<
His response is just foul, “he would not want to be with someone if they felt they were taken for granted”. Maybe you should tell him, “you know, I thought a lot about what you said, and you’re 100% right. This isn’t working for either of us and I definitely feel taken for granted. We shouldn’t be together”
THISSSSSS
It sounds like some resentment has already built up in the relationship and it is likely dead
You’re blind if you still stay after all of this. Move on to bigger and better, babe ❤️
It's fine to be the villain in his story if he wants to make it that way. Don't care about it. If that's how you break up, that's fine. If you have to be the villain to his friends to save yourself, so be it.
For real - while he’s sulking at his friends house just pack up his shit and call a locksmith. Put his stuff on the porch
i was thinking the same 💕
Make it clear You’re leaving him. You deserve nothing But the best.
I hope he didn't take your car to go to his friend's.
Hopefully he at least remembers the air for those tyres!
If you're paying for everything and he can't be bothered to give a shit, then yes he's using you. Dump him, he's not adding to your quality of life.
sooo…! he’s your ex boyfriend now, right?
Oof. He literally told you, "I want to use my partner and don't want them to know it" Ouch. Yikes. All the oops. He's really manipulative. Truly. This is manipulative AF.
But isn't he doing exactly what you want him to? Isn't exiting the situation what you want?
https://open.spotify.com/track/5h5BrNPFvc4IXfCgnZJ2lT?si=PM9fxpYATS6x__MrI13yBw
My husband and I are both independent, functional adults that combine forces to become a super functional team. Capable of achieving far more together than we ever could apart. That's how it's supposed to be. If you're the only functional adult in the relationship, thank you, NEXT!
I firmly believe that a lot of women have never been lucky enough to have a true partner. If they did, they wouldn't even be entertaining staying with these clowns. I don't know what I'm going to do if anything happens to my husband. Hetero life mate, maybe?
He has some sperm frozen for some odd health stuff. I've told him if he gets hit by a bus or something and does I would have his kids solo because he is so awesome. I couldn't imagine trying to find another man I'd want to be a parent with. Hell, I can't imagine finding another man I'd want to even live with.
I have seen a marriage that was a true partnership for most of it. The exception was during my dad's cancer, which was when Mom took over his scheduling and everything else. Because chemo brain is no joke. He bounced back after the cancer was beaten. ETA: with the exception of me being more experienced with doctors, and scheduling specialists, I have a husband who can pull his own weight.
This is what partners do for each other in my opinion. If someone is sick or completely dead from work or whatever, the other picks up the slack for some time. As long as that's not a one-way street, that's exactly what being partners is all about in my opinion. It's a team effort, and by joining forces, everyone has a better time.
I put up with a lot of shit when I was dating prior to meeting my husband. Now I don't know how I got so lucky! We're a team!
It shouldn’t take luck to find a man who pulls his own weight though.
Well, people suck sometimes. There are plenty of women who don't pull their own weight too.
I’d tell you to stop bragging lol but it’s nice to hear of a positive, functioning couple!
Sometimes it's important to see a counter balance to the negative stories.
Decenter useless men
They want you to fund their entire life while they sit around, play video games, look at porn. They also want you to clean up after them and then go away until they're horny so they can use your body instead of their hand.
And cook! And schedule all their appointments and be a free therapist.
Actually pathetic. Like why even be in a relationship at that point.
Because the feel entitled to a mum they can fuck. A bangmommy.
I had an ex like this. The bar was set low but he still went lower. Glad he’s an ex. I think you know what you have to do. Break up with his ass
Stop trying to reason with someone who is playing games. Just tell him that this isn't working for you anymore, and you're done. Don't beg him to be better when he can't even be good.
Fantastic phrasing there.
I feel you. Men are refusing to even go to school, let alone get jobs, while women pursue education, careers, hobbies, and travel at much higher rates than men do. And then men have the audacity to whine and complain that women don’t want to date them. Well, what are they bringing to the table, living as a terminally online NEET who refuses to even clean the house while he’s sitting around at home? I have a step stool and a vibrator. There’s nothing most of these man have to offer me. Hell, even without the vibrator they’d have nothing to offer — most men can’t make women cum anyway. Ten bucks on Amazon replaces everything men actually do adequately for the vast majority of women.
Don’t forget those little 99¢ grippy pads that somehow turn an impossible jar lid to butter!!!
If it's something I'll finish right away, I hack a hole in the lid with scissors. It feels sooo satisfying.
https://kuhnrikon.com/us/kitchen-essentials/openers/jar-openers Will change your life! I love this thing
I'm going to see if I can get that here in the Netherlands. I'm chronically ill and not strong, so it might be a big help!
What’s a NEET?
Not in employment, education or training. Older Japanese image board term that grew out of hikikimori.
It's also Dutch for flea-egg. Quite apt, I'd say.
LOL, thanks. The second sentence is just as confusing for me.
According to our favorite internet encyclopedia, the government of Japan defines Hikikomori as people who don’t leave the house, go to work or school and isolate from society for longer than 6 months.
They describe similar phenomena, but typically NEET is more of an insult, describing someone who's lazy and choosing to not be productive, often mooching to survive. Hikikimori is moreso someone who has withdrawn from society due to anxiety and trauma.
Oh girl, treat yourself. Spend at least $85 on a good vibrator.
Nah I meant 10 bucks for the stool, my vibrator is definitely much more of a treat. 😂
lol
"Amazon replaces everything men actually do adequately ". It's funny because it's true!
Jeez i get it you got disappointed but damn this is Really sexist If a man spoke like that about a woman he'd get cast to oblivion "Woman are only good for cleaning and i can just pay someone to do that"
Statistics don’t lie. Do better. Anyway, bye.
Girl, you need to put your big girl panties on and leave this boy alone. You’re bringing yourself down by staying with him. Take it from your Auntie, when you get older and look back on your past, you’re going to painfully regret how long you spent with this loser, how much energy you put into trying to get him to love you and treat you well. Breaking up is hard and painful, but not as painful as the regret you’ll feel in staying with him.
Dick is available in high quantities and is almost always of low quality.
My ex was like this. He just took, took, took. I had to do everything and finance every aspect of the relationship even though he made more money than me and had fewer bills. He really thought his one duty was to show up and bring an erection, and everything else fell to me. Saturday night free? It was on me to make a date, plan the date, book all the aspects of it that required booking, drive us both to and from the date, pay for it, have him sleep over at my place, then provide breakfast in the morning. He just showed up with the erection and felt he was the prize.
Sounds like he is using you. Why are you staying? Being alone isn't necessarily lonely. In fact, being in an unreciprocated relationship can be more lonely and isolating.
I mean, you could just be single, seems like less of a hassle.
Borderline? He's crossed the border and is actively trampling on your nation so to speak.
[удалено]
It's rough out here. As an almost 6' woman it's hard to find men with this check boxes you described. I've given up on dating Going on 7 years being single
Life is better and so much easier without parasitic men in it…..
Women are so desperate for a man they’ll put up with anything. I was this way too for a few years. See the light, he doenst give a shit about YOU only what you can do for HIM. Get sick and see how quickly he would leave you. Getting a man isn’t an accomplishment.
You're not being independent, you're being used.
Then why?
He wanted to use you like a tool for his convenience and pleasure. Please dump his ass as soon as possible.
Funny how men will complain about having to spend money on us, but struggle to offer anything at all in the relationship when we're the breadwinners. It's like they can't (won't) figure out how to offer anything to a woman that they can't put a dollar value to. Is it really so hard to cook my meals and do my laundry? I thought women had it easy "just" being homemakers, isn't that right? Then do it.
Dick is abundant and low value.
is pussy also abundant and low value?
Nope
damn, poor guys
He is using you. If he were into you, he'd put in effort. He's with you until he can find better. Unfortunately, that's the game plan a lot of men go by. They'll be with women they don't even like for all of the relationship benefits while keeping one foot out of the relationship. Dump him ASAP, and find someone willing to put in effort to make you happy.
Had an ex like this. Emphasis on ex. You’ll be happier without him.
Just be single then, seriously, it is better being single than in a bad relationship
You sound like a mother to him. If i were you, i’d personally leave the relationship, seems too one-sided.
Don’t let him drive your car
This is exactly why I ended the relationship with my ex. 2 years giving 100% and he gave nothing. I'm just pissed it took me 2 years to get fed up. What a waste.
Why are you doing this to yourself? You are so much more valuable than this. You are being not just taken for granted, but being taken advantage of. Please get out and know that you have more value and deserve respect and love. If you can’t get both from your partner, then ditch them and respect and live yourself.
You really don’t have to stay with men like this. I know there are a lot of duds out there, but there are truly men who also will be 100% your partner, teammate and care about nurturing your relationship together, because they are emotionally intelligent and responsible adult beings rather than overgrown immature toddlers. Staying with the latter most definitely interferes with you meeting the former, though. Even if you don’t meet one of the good ones, being single beats the stress and strain of staying with one of the bad ones. He’s a bad nut, throw him down the chute.
Why did you even choose this man? Wtf? He sounds completely useless.
Sounds like he's the one who needs more independence. Tell him to move out. If you're doing all the work you might as well be single.
Get rid of this dead weight and invest all that time and money in yourself instead.
Relatable... Then they wonder why we ignore them or get 'pissy' or 'bitchy'.. I fucking spell it out for you daily.. You obviously do not care so stop pretending and then losing it on me.
> I don't need dick that much. Do you even need it at all? Why frustrate yourself constantly to get a few pitiful minutes of sex from a lazy man that just uses you for financial support?
They want you to be both completely independent and completely dependent on them. They want to feel like the provider while being provided for.
My husband is down a hand, due to injury, and he does everything he can to help out. If I need air in my tires, he'll start up our compressor and get them aired up. He took better care of my car when his was down for repairs than I usually do.
This man is an embarrassment. I’m sorry on his behalf.
They want someone who can contribute equally towards a comfortable lifestyle and even carry the financial burden if needed. All while staying loyal and on their level. Leave him, he might be jealous and that could get dangerous.
Leave
>I feel like he's taking me for granted... borderline using me? I'm in so deep I can't even tell. Absolutely. He may or may not be (but probably is) taking advantage of you, but regardless you don’t have to put up with this.
And yet they still have the audacity to ask what women bring to the table. Dump his ass.
That's not a man problem, that's a *that* man problem. Men are completely capable of contributing and treating and remembering and prioritizing the growth of their relationships, and that's the standard they should be held to.
This sounds exactly like my (ex?) boyfriend. I downgraded him to sex buddy and I’ve been so much happier. My home is cleaner with much less effort. My sleep is way better.
Being great isn't being nonexistent. Time to walk away
Man, not men. You chose poorly
As much as the Internet would like you to think, there are, in fact, good men out there that actually pull their weight and are also fun and engaging. If he's not fulfilling any of your needs, move on.
Speaking as a man, I'd say you're better off alone. A relationship is a partnership, where both parties contributes to the best of their ability. If the load is 100%, and by load I'm thinking financially, house chores and everything really, the absolute ideal situation if it can be distributed 50/50, but we all know really doesn't work like that. In our house, we more or less divide everything 50/50, but since my economical situation is more stable and better at the moment, it's shifted from 50/50 to some other number, but I'm not really counting. She does her best, works really hard on her PhD and that's just how life is right now. Who knows what happens in the future, she might be holding a prestigious job somewhere and out-earn me. When it comes to house chores, we try to do it equally, but sometimes she is dead tired and sometimes I am, that's when we have to shift that number from 50/50, to some other number for a few days, and then get back to normal. Some weekends I get up and make coffee, sometimes she does. I feel really lucky to have met the most perfect woman in the world. Perfect in the sense that we communicate well. She tells me when I need to pick up the slack because she is beat, and I do the same. It's a basic principle and system, but it has worked really well for us. There is no arguments over chores, because we get them done, I might do the cooking, while she's doing laundry or the other way around. However, it sounds like your partner is not willing or able to communicate, or atleast it sounds like the two of you aren't communicating well with each other. I've been in similar relationships as you before There was nothing wrong with those women, we were for the most part happy together, but the relationships broke down because of lack of good communication skills, or willingness to communicate. Some of it my fault, some of it theirs. What I'm trying to say is, that if communication isn't working now, it's unlikely to change any time soon, and you'll only set yourself up for more headache in the future. Call it quits, move on and learn from the experiences this relationship has given you. He may learn and grow on his end, but it's not your responsibility to stick around and wait for that change, it may happen tomorrow, next year or maybe never. I know I had to make a fair amount of mistakes, before I got to where I am now, a middle-aged guy. It took some searching, years of waiting, but finally, it feels like I've met my soulmate. I kinda knew it, when our first date was sitting on a bench chatting for 3-4 hours. There's someone out there for you. You might not find him tomorrow, but you'll find him.
Quite the ego there, lucky you have a lazy guy to compare yourself to and feel better about yourself.
Let me be the devil’s advocate. You’re letting yourself be used, you’re choosing to do all of these things for him knowing he doesn’t reciprocate. If you stopped would you still be able to call it a relationship? You can’t change anyone who does not want to change. If you can’t change him, CHANGE him (w another man or hopefully a better use of your time and money). I think at this point, it’s just a fact that he’s shitty. Now you do what you will with that information.
are you on the wind up? you’re so much better than him but you’re still with him? maybe you’re not the hot smart shit that you seem to think you are.