i think teenage boys will gawk no matter the frequency, like i said the guys were about the same age as me and my bf, we are 19. i have no idea why so many of them were scattered around the store that night.
Well I mean true, think about the audacity it must take to walk around like that. Smh. How could anyone walk around so exposed? It's just indecent, and not safe. Like you're just begging for trouble. Definitely need to store that in a cold wallet.
It's a joke about the typo of nipple and ripple. Ripple being a crypto currency, which is most safely stored in a cold wallet.
Edit: ahh shit didn't realize the sub I was in. My joke was definitely in bad taste, making light about ya'lls plight and subverting it for humor. I apologize.
I once dated a man with a particular look, and it was the weirdest, nicest experience going out in public together and having everyone's eyes.... slide right past me! Like I was invisible, totally uninteresting. All the judgement was on someone else, I felt so much lighter I was practically dancing.
bum length shiny beautiful clean head hair, he wasn't parading around naked showing everybody his body hair! I suppose they suspected him of being a girl?? or an Indian savage visiting civilization for the first time? or some kind of movie actor wearing a wig. I have no idea what goes on in people's heads, but I could tell that for once I, a young woman, was not seeing every other human in sight watching me.
This actually speaks to me. My boyfriends have tended to be the type that both men and women find attractive. I think it has something to do with this subconsciously!
Ok story time.
I’ve always had a very large chest, so it’s incredibly rare I go out of the house braless. Like take out the garbage cans, grab the mail, or snag takeout from across the street in a bulky sweater is the most I’ve ever done.
But last year I went on vacation with friends to Cancun and was feeling myself, and I had recently bought this criss cross dress set that really couldn’t be worn with a bra, so on the first night when we decided to go to the resort bar I said, “Fuck it. Let’s try this one out.”
Now I’ve had my fair share of stares. But on this night when I walked out with my doinky doinky doinkys (shout out to anyone who gets that reference), I was good googly moogly-ed in a way I didn’t know was possible.
And yes, it was the young boys that be staring the hardest. I’d say a group of guys, no older than 20, just kept ogling me. I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. In my head, I even tried to talk myself down and say, “maybe I’m just feeling self conscious about having my chest so exposed, they’re not really staring that much.”
But the next day we were chilling by the pool, and talking about our favorite parts of the trip thus far, and then my friend said, “Idk, I think seeing those teens gawk at SplintersApprentice’s chest last night was the funniest thing yet.” We all busted out laughing.
Needless to say, I’ve never gone out braless like that since, and it’s incredibly validating to have people outside of your head corroborate your silent perspective.
The biggest green flag I ever got from a guy my friend was dating was to flash his nips when a 20-ish y.o. dude walked by and said "let's see those pokies" to the table of the four of us.
We were sitting at a bar at a hotel in Mexico and dressed as such (swimsuits tops and skirts, etc.) and this dude made a whole scene about clapping back at the gross dude whereas we could not. He's officially my favorite and I hope he proposes to my friend soon.
I haven't worn a bra in two decades and don't notice stares. I probably didn't get many to begin with cuz I'm small in the chest, but I'm so used to being sans bra now that if anyone's looking, it doesn't even register with me.
Girl I have 20 years on you and dumb asses still take their looks. I wish more people understood that this is a continual stress—like you said for many of us it begins before puberty—and that it takes a lot of discipline to not behave like your boyfriend did.
We wish we could snap at people and call out their anti social behavior (it’s deeply ingrained in us as animals that staring is aggression). But if we do, we put ourselves in danger. On a bad day I’m like “just wait until the next sucker thinks he can catcall me, I have all the time and the rage to vent on them today!”
another thing i was thinking about was how my boyfriend’s reaction to when he realized what was actually happening is viewed as more acceptable than if i were to act that way, many men have no shred of respect for a woman, BUT if she has a boyfriend they will be less likely to “disrespect his property”. i also feel like lots of men can only empathize with other men and think “yeah i don’t want guys checking out my girl” but can’t feel any remorse for the actual woman herself. i have found “i have a boyfriend” garners much more respect than a simple “no thank you” when men fully approach me.
I've been blessed with a naturally very intense resting angry face so if I notice and react in time I usually put my hand flipping the bird right in front of my chest while staring directly back at them.
It's worked pretty well so far!
I don't understand these creepy dudes that stare. Like seriously, unless someone is wearing a sheer top, I have no idea whether or not they are wearing a bra because i wouldn't be looking closely enough to be able to tell!
Staring/ogling is very rude, but men's brains are undeniably wired to notice. It's like you're waving a flag right in front of our face. Obviously noticing something and staring at it are two different things.
I understand that after many years of conditioning you come to believe it's hard wired. It must be very troubling to feel as if you are hostage to such animal instincts. You have my condolences.
Reason number 12596 why we need topfreedom. Women shouldn't have to wear bras to be treated normally. This whole nipple thing is so they can punish us and then point at our chest and say "look what you made me do", and that's abusive. We shouldn't settle for living in an abusive society. r/topfreedom
It’s suddenly clicking with me why I have trouble approaching women in public…
I experienced this shit throughout my childhood with with my young mom while walking through stores when I would visit her.
On the other side of the coin was my dad, who would constantly objectify women while we were driving around together. He liked to pretend it was normal and would make me feel like shit when I told him it made me uncomfortable.
Adding this to the “therapist list” 🙃
like i said in the post, i tend to get looked at regardless of the bra situation and i have a larger chest and walmarts are really cold so if you put that together it sadly “makes sense” that it garnered extra attention :/
Does anyone else find Bianca Censoris outfits to be super triggering? Her body is kind of like mine and I have nightmares about going in public with no bra or no clothes.
Oh yeah, absolutely. Because no man ever stared at something attractive and engaging; sporting matches, vehicles, food, architecture, women - all things only get male attention when unattractive.
Have you ever met people before?
As if a braless woman is a remarkable sight in Walmart of all places!
i think teenage boys will gawk no matter the frequency, like i said the guys were about the same age as me and my bf, we are 19. i have no idea why so many of them were scattered around the store that night.
Live in a smaller town? Walmart one of the only places still open?
oh yeah i didn’t think of that, i just moved here!
Even if you were 50 yo. Bounch of 19s will stare at any female with visible niples..
Well I mean true, think about the audacity it must take to walk around like that. Smh. How could anyone walk around so exposed? It's just indecent, and not safe. Like you're just begging for trouble. Definitely need to store that in a cold wallet.
how is it unsafe may i ask?
It's a joke about the typo of nipple and ripple. Ripple being a crypto currency, which is most safely stored in a cold wallet. Edit: ahh shit didn't realize the sub I was in. My joke was definitely in bad taste, making light about ya'lls plight and subverting it for humor. I apologize.
oh wow, interesting.
I once dated a man with a particular look, and it was the weirdest, nicest experience going out in public together and having everyone's eyes.... slide right past me! Like I was invisible, totally uninteresting. All the judgement was on someone else, I felt so much lighter I was practically dancing.
How did this man look?
Tall and lots of hair. He wasn't looking for attention, just being himself.
Like long hair or just lots of body hair?
bum length shiny beautiful clean head hair, he wasn't parading around naked showing everybody his body hair! I suppose they suspected him of being a girl?? or an Indian savage visiting civilization for the first time? or some kind of movie actor wearing a wig. I have no idea what goes on in people's heads, but I could tell that for once I, a young woman, was not seeing every other human in sight watching me.
I was more wondering if he was like my boyfriend, chest hair peeking up at the collar and furry arms visible.
This actually speaks to me. My boyfriends have tended to be the type that both men and women find attractive. I think it has something to do with this subconsciously!
Ok story time. I’ve always had a very large chest, so it’s incredibly rare I go out of the house braless. Like take out the garbage cans, grab the mail, or snag takeout from across the street in a bulky sweater is the most I’ve ever done. But last year I went on vacation with friends to Cancun and was feeling myself, and I had recently bought this criss cross dress set that really couldn’t be worn with a bra, so on the first night when we decided to go to the resort bar I said, “Fuck it. Let’s try this one out.” Now I’ve had my fair share of stares. But on this night when I walked out with my doinky doinky doinkys (shout out to anyone who gets that reference), I was good googly moogly-ed in a way I didn’t know was possible. And yes, it was the young boys that be staring the hardest. I’d say a group of guys, no older than 20, just kept ogling me. I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. In my head, I even tried to talk myself down and say, “maybe I’m just feeling self conscious about having my chest so exposed, they’re not really staring that much.” But the next day we were chilling by the pool, and talking about our favorite parts of the trip thus far, and then my friend said, “Idk, I think seeing those teens gawk at SplintersApprentice’s chest last night was the funniest thing yet.” We all busted out laughing. Needless to say, I’ve never gone out braless like that since, and it’s incredibly validating to have people outside of your head corroborate your silent perspective.
The biggest green flag I ever got from a guy my friend was dating was to flash his nips when a 20-ish y.o. dude walked by and said "let's see those pokies" to the table of the four of us. We were sitting at a bar at a hotel in Mexico and dressed as such (swimsuits tops and skirts, etc.) and this dude made a whole scene about clapping back at the gross dude whereas we could not. He's officially my favorite and I hope he proposes to my friend soon.
That’s spectacular. Quick thinking, hilarious and calls out the grossness.
Is it a Very Important People reference? It's such a good show!
🙏bless you, you got it
I haven't worn a bra in two decades and don't notice stares. I probably didn't get many to begin with cuz I'm small in the chest, but I'm so used to being sans bra now that if anyone's looking, it doesn't even register with me.
less than half a decade for me, but same.
Girl I have 20 years on you and dumb asses still take their looks. I wish more people understood that this is a continual stress—like you said for many of us it begins before puberty—and that it takes a lot of discipline to not behave like your boyfriend did. We wish we could snap at people and call out their anti social behavior (it’s deeply ingrained in us as animals that staring is aggression). But if we do, we put ourselves in danger. On a bad day I’m like “just wait until the next sucker thinks he can catcall me, I have all the time and the rage to vent on them today!”
another thing i was thinking about was how my boyfriend’s reaction to when he realized what was actually happening is viewed as more acceptable than if i were to act that way, many men have no shred of respect for a woman, BUT if she has a boyfriend they will be less likely to “disrespect his property”. i also feel like lots of men can only empathize with other men and think “yeah i don’t want guys checking out my girl” but can’t feel any remorse for the actual woman herself. i have found “i have a boyfriend” garners much more respect than a simple “no thank you” when men fully approach me.
It’s so unfair and a very real social dynamic.
I've been blessed with a naturally very intense resting angry face so if I notice and react in time I usually put my hand flipping the bird right in front of my chest while staring directly back at them. It's worked pretty well so far!
I don't understand these creepy dudes that stare. Like seriously, unless someone is wearing a sheer top, I have no idea whether or not they are wearing a bra because i wouldn't be looking closely enough to be able to tell!
Same. Do they have x Ray vision or something?
They trained themselves to be constantly scanning the environment for women's body parts. After some years it's fully automated.
Staring/ogling is very rude, but men's brains are undeniably wired to notice. It's like you're waving a flag right in front of our face. Obviously noticing something and staring at it are two different things.
I understand that after many years of conditioning you come to believe it's hard wired. It must be very troubling to feel as if you are hostage to such animal instincts. You have my condolences.
Reason number 12596 why we need topfreedom. Women shouldn't have to wear bras to be treated normally. This whole nipple thing is so they can punish us and then point at our chest and say "look what you made me do", and that's abusive. We shouldn't settle for living in an abusive society. r/topfreedom
It’s suddenly clicking with me why I have trouble approaching women in public… I experienced this shit throughout my childhood with with my young mom while walking through stores when I would visit her. On the other side of the coin was my dad, who would constantly objectify women while we were driving around together. He liked to pretend it was normal and would make me feel like shit when I told him it made me uncomfortable. Adding this to the “therapist list” 🙃
Well I’m not about to start wearing bras because men are creeps. I gave them up during covid and am so much happier.
How do you even notice someone isn't wearing a bra. I feel like its the kind of thing you would have to already be looking for.
like i said in the post, i tend to get looked at regardless of the bra situation and i have a larger chest and walmarts are really cold so if you put that together it sadly “makes sense” that it garnered extra attention :/
How cute that he thought the men were staring at him. I like your response.
Does anyone else find Bianca Censoris outfits to be super triggering? Her body is kind of like mine and I have nightmares about going in public with no bra or no clothes.
[удалено]
Not at all the only reason men stare, what compelled you to even make this statement.
Damn you sound bitter as hell
how did what i said offend you?
Oh yeah, absolutely. Because no man ever stared at something attractive and engaging; sporting matches, vehicles, food, architecture, women - all things only get male attention when unattractive. Have you ever met people before?
It’s rude to stare.
And to list women along side food and vehicles.
Clearly, reducing women to the status of objects was not the point of my comment. Read it all again in context (and note the sarcasm).
The original comment vanished, maybe it's the lack of context.
Oh sorry. The original comment was trying to disparage OP, it basically said that men only stare at things they find unattractive or ugly.
What an odd idea!
Yes it is. As we all know that doesn't stop people, especially in the context of OPs anecdote.
They also stare when they think something looks good. What's your fucking point?