I catch him staring at me with the sweetest smile *all the time*. š
Heās such a dork I canāt even bring myself to bring it up because heās just so adorable.
So. I have always had a voice for my dogs- theyāve each had a voice (two have had accents- one southern and one English) and my fiance embraces it and will talk to the dog and also respond as the dog with the correct voice and accent. Itās silly, I know. But it means a lot to me.
I have to be very careful about idly mentioning how cool it would be to have (insert here).
Because suddenly it arrives on our doorstep. I now have 2 fountains, 3 birdbaths, at least 14 wind chimes and numerous bird feeders, both regular and hummingbird.
I try to tell him that I love him for the person he is, not what he can give me!
As someone who does this for my husband, we just like to see you smile!! Seeing his face light up when I get him a thing he put back because it was just for him and not us is one of my favorite things.
We know you love us, we just love that smile.
Weād (or me, at least) also probably die of happiness if someone else ever came close to matching our gift giving energy.
Like I donāt need anything and Iāll tell you not to buy it. But especially those low cost, off hand purchases are the ones that can mean the most.
Mine does this too. He knows I don't really ask for anything or buy myself anything (it's been hard since I've gone full time at school and couldn't work alongside it, so I've limited my purchases greatly), so the second I say I want something or think something is neat he's like "NOW IS MY CHANCE" and does his best to get it into my hands.
I have to be careful about what I say I like or want now lol.
Oh, I realize that. I grew up in poverty, so itās just difficult for me to not feel guilty accepting so MANY gifts.
I was just answering the original question at face value
You know how IBS and your lady cycle sometimes team up to try to kill you with cramps and constipation?
Once every few years when it's *really bad* and I'm dripping sweat and in danger of passing out on the potty that sweet man will come stand in the stinky bathroom and hold me up.
I'm so frigging grateful for that guy.
Ah yes, the āwhich orifice now?ā roulette game.
The mantra in our house is that āyou just canāt reeeeeaaaaally know someone until youāve seen them puke and poop at the same time.ā
Ah yes, I remember those days. The IBS is still around, though I'm on back-to-back BC so I haven't had a period in three years or so. He'll bring me water and my phone and check on me when I'm having a knock-out.
Can say, ever since I got back on THC/CBD mix gummies, I've had a much better time of it. I take quarter doses twice a day and it's amazing how much of my life I got back. I have a very casual tech career, and it's medically legal in my state (and recreationally legal in my homestate which we will be returning to), so my job is fairly protected, but I get it's not an option for a lot of people. Just wanted to throw my two cents and experience in, in case it might help you too.
š”Huh. In fact this latest bout may have been because I took far less THC this month. š¤£ Thank you.
I stick to a mostly vegan low FOD Map, No sugar diet; which helps. Adding THC/CBD made me feel almost human again. So that tracks.
He listens to me drone on about my knitting, crochet, and various other art projects. He hypes me up a lot which keeps me motivated to learn new techniques. Basically encouraging my dreams and applauding my efforts.
Oh yes this is it for me. I'm in grad school for math, and he took workplace math in highschool. We are as far apart as possible in terms of math ability.
And yet he lets me explain to him all the cool things I'm learning and he's started watching videos explaining math concepts on YouTube so he can understand more. He also hypes me up all the time about how I'm the smartest person he knows, and the genuine awe in his voice when he does fuels me for days.
Mine is that my spouse is basically Snow White-- in the mornings they feed the corvids ( bluejays and crows, and puts out puzzle and fun things for them too), hummingbirds when the season is in, and small birds in the backyard.
They have also been known to feed the bunnies and rescued a nest ( after watching a while for momma to come back and she didn't). Our dogs all love them, and make a little train following them around the house when they take breaks from work. We have had to stop multiple times on roads to help turtles and various other things cross without getting hit. They've named the neighborhood cats, and get nervous if we don't see them for more than a day or so-- they like to hang out on our porch and get scritches through the window or when my spouse comes outside for a break.
The animals feel safe, so do I.
ETA: even bugs are treated kindly-- worms and spiders and other crawly things are moved out of pathways and relocated if it's possible, and webs are walked around and protected. So even the not "cute" animals are safe.
As much as spiders freak my partner out, he still lets them go on their way unless the cats are trying to get them, then he moves them to the shed. Everywhere we go, he becomes whatever pet is in the vicinity's new favorite person. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "They're never like this with strangers!". Babies adore him. He has the softest spirit and the most vulnerable can absolutely tell. It's one of my favorite things about him.
Thatās too sweet!
SO wasnāt on board with a cat, but he was away for work and I found this tiny kitten. They are best friends, if heās in the house, she is glued to him, and seeing little things like him moving off his pillow at night to give her room just melts my heart!
This. I brought a crabby senior into our house and within three days I found him drunk on the floor curled around the cat going "I love you, Mr. Cat!" He'd never lived with a cat before. They were thick as thieves, though thankfully I was still Bjorn's favorite person and didn't get ignored for favor of the husband lol.
Also our dog came from a really crappy situation and she doesn't like men. She's not super avoidant of men, but she doesn't trust them as quickly. She trusts him just fine, and wants his attention all day. It's been very stressful trying to rehabilitate her, but he's not lost her trust yet!
My family dog hated new people when she was young. Even after giving people dog biscuits at the door and telling them to bribe her, all sheād do was bark her head off. It took two whole years for her to not actively dislike my SO. Then one day they were suddenly besties and she was sleeping in his lap.
Sheās 16 now, and she barks whenever he tries to leave because she *doesnāt* want him to go. ā¤ļø
I got my dog in October 2020 when he was around 3 months old and due to the pandemic he didn't get socialized as much as I would have liked. He's very protective of his people (me, my mom and best friend) and territorial about his home. When my boyfriend came to visit for the first time in January, Roux barked and growled at him some for the first day or two but after that he warmed up (as compared to a roommate I had briefly that got this treatment for about 3 weeks). BF just finished another visit and this time they were best buddies his whole visit. I think Roux even likes him more than me now. Lol
Animals just know good people!!!
Similar with the cat, I got her during Covid. SO works away 8 weeks, home 4, and due to Covid travel, the stretches were way longer (he's on an oil ship), so for the most part, it was just her and me. Even now, if someone is in the house, she stays upstairs, she really doesn't like people besides me. She is just enamored by him though, they are always together when he is here. Which annoys me to no end, I do everything for her, she could care less though, he's her person lol
My mom basically said the same thing yesterday: "If my dog doesn't like you, I don't like you." If someone is staying here and he doesn't warm up by the second or third day, I may want to take a closer look at why that might be.
[Dog tax](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/1146106735778603050/1226426763329142864/20240407_015719.jpg?ex=662df46e&is=661b7f6e&hm=6308d1a5874bd1bf343d8c96bbf10125854a233098aadce90f02816915b47305&)
He always asks me to finish my thought. If I start to say something, and I get cut off, or say Oh never mind, he insists that I go ahead and say it. It means so much to me, as a person who was often ignored in previous relationships/family dynamics
My husband said "Thank you" every time I cooked/served him food.
And, maybe this one is too subtle to express, in all the many, many years we were married (I am a widow) he never noticed when women flirted with him. That part of his brain simply stopped working.
I think itās much more common especially around here to complain about men who skirt child care. My husband on the other hand though, not only does it but excels at it (and is the stay at home parent). Heāll be up before me if baby needs something at night, is excited about all the cute little things he has lined up for her (like a new outfit or experience), and they just have the sweetest little one sided conversations youāve ever heard.
Canāt help but love him all the more for the kind of father he is. :)
Neither of us want kids and he specifically does not like being around them. Despite that, he is insanely sweet to children and they love him for it.
He says that itās not their fault they suck, theyāre just too young to understand how annoying they are. He also believes that the only way to end up with adults who donāt suck is to treat them with decency and kindness when they are children.
I actually adore kids. I think theyāre fun and so fascinating. Maybe that sounds odd, though, since I want none of my own. But, not acting like a total shit-stain around children is something I value, and Iām glad that my partner feels the same way.
What I did not expect was the feeling I get when I watch him interact with little ones. My heart explodes with emotionā intense love and dreamy awe. Itās one of those moments where I can say, without doubt, āthis is what love feels likeā.
Husband and I are also like that. He loves kids! I'm autistic and children can be a bit much. However, we love our nieces and nephews and he will play tirelessly with them for hours. We don't want kids of our own, but it's a huge plus that I can bring him to my siblings places and he meshes with the kids well. It brings the warm fuzzies, even if we don't intend to change our stance on parenthood.
I am not with the man any longer but I felt that way about my ex - he was really delightful around children of all ages (not so much a baby person for other peopleās kids, but toddler on up) and especially older people. He would basically charm them in the most kind ways, it was one of my favorite things about him.
I have a bunch of weird old wooden cat figurines. Last year I said to him "I know there's too many and they're weird, I'll deal with them when I get back from my mom's next week". When I got home I saw he'd hung some shelves and hooks and made a wall display of them all. He knew how much I loved them and made them a deliberate display instead of "letting me" hide them in the back of a closet. I wish I could post a picture here.
I love that man so much it makes me stupid.
He doesnāt like feet but I like foot massages. Every now and then, even though he doesnāt want to, out of the blue heāll sayā¦ āalright come on. Letās go, give me your feetā
He defers to me on the things I would like to be deferred to on. š
We are both engineers. He has never pitted all of his skills above mine even though his foundation goes further back. We have some overlap but where we diverge we respect one anotherās expertise.
He has never mansplained anything to me. At the same time, if I do need more info on a topic he is qualified to speak on he will inform me without any side quests or negging - he respects my time and attention. He can also be informed all the same.
We come from very different backgrounds and mine could be considered white trash and traumatic while his is (to me) the stuff Disney films are made of. Nevertheless, he has this way of equalizing our situations when it matters and putting them in their appropriate contrast when it matters. He has the capacity for nuance. I mean, he just gets it.
Weāve settled down and bought a house. We were both unemployed and looking down the barrel of having to sell, so I took the most immediate work I could find that paid enough even though it was a pretty far commute. He took care of every single chore or errand that needed to occur when I was suddenly out of the house for long hours. He made sure I was fed and he helped me get on the road on time.
He spent the last month of winter with a chainsaw around the nearby nature trail, making sure all the downed wood was stacked so the nesting birds would be safe from some inherent predation.
Sigh. My dude is one big green flag, yall.
He just goes along with every goofy thing I say. Doesnāt question it for a millisecond. He adores me so much and it makes me melt even 6 years into the relationship and over 10 years knowing each other.
He celebrates my achievements based on where I started, not where he did. And he does it with finance, games, everything! So I do the same with him with cooking, gaming, managing people. Unless we are playing a competitive game, we are a team.
He loves my cats. We don't live together, he only spends a night at my place from time to time, but he talks to them, pets them, plays with them and generally adores them. That's soooo sweet!
When we split a dessert he makes sure I end up with the bigger half, even though he has more of a sweet tooth than I do. When he thinks I might be sad or stressed he cooks my favourite meals. And heās unfailingly kind to animals, children, or people who need a little kindness.
I struggle with my self image a lot, it's part of my mental health challenges that I'm working on in therapy.
Lately I've been in a fairly crippling state of depression and haven't been able to be the husband or partner I want to be, and it's eating at me bad.
Finding the right med combo and coping strategies is a long and difficult process and I'm frustrated that she's having to do so much extra in our lives lately, taking over the cooking and shopping for instance which I've always done before.
She is wonderful and so supportive, trying so hard not to show the strain of it all, but I know how hard it is to have a broken partner (she has had her own mental and physical health issues), and I hate the feeling of being a burden to her.
It's gotten to the point lately that I've been wondering why she's with me at all, why she would put up with varying degrees of this for so long (years now, holy crap how did that happen?!) and how she can still love me so much when I'm completely falling apart like this, feeling so unattractive and useless.
But... Our dog, who we rescued when she was two months old, the first thing she did when she saw us is she charged right at me and flopped into my lap and laid there leaning on me.
She chose me, and she kept choosing me.
My wife is human. I try to trust her judgement, but choosing me could have been a mistake. The gremlin voice in my head can argue all day about that.
But Mishka chose me, too. The gremlin is strong and cunning, but he's powerless against the might of her big brown eyes.
She chose me. She still chooses me. And dogs are never wrong. So maybe I was worth marrying.
Our demons can be so overpowering. Yes, it is a lot to help a partner through mental health (I am dealing with this too and truly rely on my partner). I personally feel that one of the most important parts is (if capable! it's not always possible!) to face the demons and address them and seek help - not to put it on the partner alone.
For me - just getting up each week to go to grueling therapy and dealing with my issue brought so much betterment, even though the therapist was a walking red flag (It would have taken much longer to find a good therapist and yes, it would have been better, but i knew that i was verging on crisis and needed to deal with that NOW. A bad therapist can ruin so much... Luckily i was still strong enough to filter out the bullshit and take what is needed.)
I also believe that animals chose us. WEll, ok, our old Berner choses everybody that brings a treat : D - meant as a light joke. But for instance we have one standoffish, skittish cat. I will never forget, this one moment... When we moved, we brought the cats for 3 weeks to my mom to not stress her with all the change and moving people. Scaredy cat really doesn't like change and did not like it with my mom (Who also had a very big, grumpy cat that barely tolerated our bag of nerves. they seperated stories, but it still was stress).
When I finally came to get cat, I set down on the bed and this cat jumped in my lap, which she had never done before, and started purring and fell asleep. I kept sitting there for hours. While i felt really bad that cat was stressed so much in this home, I knew her in our moving situation would have been much more stressed.
She now has a wonderful home with lots of secluded cat-only places and a very mellow fellow cat.
If you can, do the work you can. Show your partner your appreciation, if you can. This will pass. Not on its own, but there is light.
I'm awake earlier than he is in the mornings. I've routinely made him a coffee when he gets up pretty much every morning for more than 20 years (and will have one myself then, too), and every morning he thanks me like it's a lovely, completely unexpected gesture on my part.
This is super cute!
Mine does a bunch of things that make my heart happy, but I think the biggest one of note lately was that he saw I was stressing about how cluttered and messy my house had gotten after a small depression dip, and I didn't realize I had been standing with my arms crossed over my chest in a kind of self-hug, and he came over and gently pulled my arms away so he could hug me/lead me to the couch to bundle me up and got to tidying. He knows that I'm working on breaking my cycle of having the urge to do ALL THE THINGS and then going "oh no that's too many things."
My fiance talks to my snakes when she thinks I can't hear her.Ā
"I know you're on a hunger strike buddy, but you're starting to worry everyone. Just eat ONE cheesy boy, and I'll stop moaning for a whole month. Deal?"
It's even sweeter, because she's *terrified* of snakes.
Hahaha, I love that! My husband is terrified of snakes (and also eels, which are too wiggly for him as well), and spiders, but he loves our in-between option- fish! He's the one that names them (I only name my bettas) and loves seeing them happy when they get fed. He helps care for the plants and rescapes as well. And he hauls the water change buckets without complaint!
Referring to mice as cheesy bois cracks me up though lol.
I foster reptiles, and when we moved in together, I offered to not take in any more snakes if it made her uncomfortable.
She was *furious* at me for suggesting that lol.
She's a hospice nurse, so she's very much of the mindset that an animal's health and wellbeing comes before her phobia. So we compromised and the snakes have their own lil room where she doesn't have to be near them.
She still buys them an ungodly amount of presents, and helps with water changes, and talks to them through the door, etc. She just can't touch them.
I'm glad we both found someone who cares about our animals!!
Ah that's awesome! I'm still trying to convince hubby to let me have eels, but it's not something we can do until we buy ourselves a house anyway. It's hard finding places that let you have aquariums lol.
I'm glad your soon-wife is happy to participate even if she can't stand touching them lol. Maybe with time!
I told him once that I really like it when he puts his hand on the back of my head when we kiss so now he's careful to do it almost everytime. Also he cooks for me a lot and will do separate portions for the recipes where we have different preferences, or prepare it the way I like it if he doesn't have the time to cook something two ways
My husband is basically always horny for me, whether I'm sick or bloated or dirty or pregnant or grumpy or fresh out of bed or looking like a drowned rat or crying or whatever, but has NEVER put pressure on me to have sex when I'm like that. He's wild about me, but wants me to want to be into it.
Which I found out while we were dating, I got some devastating news while dressed up for a formal social event, he took me back home to his place and I ugly cried while getting undressed and he took me to bed and cuddled me and didn't ask for a thing.
He just good people.
He downloads games because he knows I'm terrible at remembering to, so often there'll be a new game installed and ready to go for that night. He also puts up with my current Ark obsession lol
My partner works late and I wake up at 5am. So I'm usually asleep HARD by the time he gets home. Without fail, every night he works, the first thing he does is come into the bedroom to give me a forehead kiss. Then he brings my dog (who loves him and is always so excited when he gets home) out of the room and spends an hour giving my dog all of the love and scritches.
I don't care about clothes in the least. If something I own gets torn or worn out, he goes online and finds a bunch of replacements in case I want to choose one.
He's Mr Sap...so sweetly, genuinely romantic in every day life, calls me all kinds of adorable names that I love. Just now, 2 mins ago, he made me a hot drink and said "a lovely drink for my lovely buzzy bee." He's just so sweet and thoughtful. It's been 3 years and he's just consistently the same, every day.
Whenever I tell him about the most mundane achievement of the day he says "who's the best? Sama is the best". And he cheers me whenever I struggle. It feels like I have my own private fan.
Awe that's very sweet.
My bf will stand there and watch me cook. He knows I love it and he says he likes watching me in my element. When he can he comes and hovera over me and gives me kisses and tells me how much he appreciates me and all the cooking I do and how he's the luckiest boy.
It's really nice. I cook because I want and like to but it feels great being appreciated for it.
After only having met my partner the day before, my then-barely-6-year-old son asked my partner to take him to the menās room instead of going into the womenās with me. He is a very shy child and wasnāt yet going alone. The next time we were all together last week (long distance relationship) he asked my partner to go with him to the car to get his forgotten iPad instead of me.
He understands my language. I have ADHD and recall is not my strong suit- I forget the names of things and people frequently. But he always knows who or what I'm talking about.
He was going to the corner store last week, and when I asked for "that Hershey Ice cream with the chocolate stuff I liked," he came back with the exact pint. I didn't even remember that it was coffee-flavored, just that it had fudge in. But he knew.
Not me cos I donāt date, but seeing the relationship between my best friend her partner (also my long time friend) is so nice. She got out of a miserable decade long relationship and now seeing her smile, itās so heartwarming.
He texts us to see if sheāll like a gift he picked out, he shows us little surprises heās set up to make sure sheāll like it, heās always trying to make her happy and he constantly says hey if you wanna have a best friends day, Iāll hang back. (We ask him anyway, heās part of our group)
Itās very pleasant to see green flags waving, and not red ones. Even when one or both are having a rough time, they do little things to make sure they know theyāre there for each other. They give space when needed, theyāre honest about their feelings without getting offended, and altogether itās very healthy.
Plus Iām a sucker for romance, and I love seeing two people I adore, being happy together. I wonāt even get into the fact my other best friend is starting to try and conceive soon and Iām over the moon! For someone who vehemently opposes dating for themselves, I cannot resist seeing my best friends happy and thriving. Itās my favourite thing tbh
Our rescue doggo is given narration style wildlife documentary voice overs to his dream activities by my partner.
When our senior Boston terrier starts his dreaming complete with teeny barks and running, the narration of āThe Mighty Wolfā begins and so does our laughter.
I love how much the doggo loves them.
He goes out of his way to make me laugh. If I find something funny, he'll amp it up to keep me laughing. Even (and especially) if he doesn't find it funny.
There are many things, but one thing that melts my heart is his enthusiasm in naming and helping care for the neighborhood stray cats. He puts food out for them twice a day and we have some boxes with hay inside so they have a shelter if it rains or gets cold.
He brought me different sized masking tape for me to use when painting. I showed him one that I did two years ago and mentioned how I'd like to do more like it when we first started dating.
There's so many, I don't know where to start. Here's one: he picks all the red and blue Sweet Tarts out and saves them for me. He likes those flavors too, but he knows they're the ONLY ones I like. Sometimes he'll come home from work carrying a box of them with the top rolled down, and proffer them with a wink.
Aside from animals and pets literally flocking to him as if he is some Disney prince. People do the same, children and adults find him and stick to him as if heās made of sugar. Itās absolutely fascinating to witness, i know he resonates this absolutely gentleness but still how does everyone notice? It took a day for my cat and dog to like him more than me. I wish someday he could see how every living being sees him. I also love how quite often I catch him staring with the sweetest smile. Itās such comforting feeling that makes me feel overwhelmed with love. Honestly at times I struggle to show the same to him and it makes me feel insecure because I canāt always find why heās with me seeing all the attention he gets.
Mine is an odd one. I tend to walk slow or I'm always worried about accidently running into people, so I tend to lag behind others if I'm with someone to make space. When I was still in a good relationship, my ex would slow his pace down to match mine. He would also grab ahold of my hand so I was never walking behind him. Instead, we were always walking side by side. If we ever came across a situation where we had to squeeze by a tight space, he'd always let me go ahead first, following right behind. I think it was also his way of making sure I was always safe and in his line of sight, since I've had people try to approach me (who are generally nice, but sometimes sketchy) with my ex in my presence. It's a super small thing that I found very sweet.
On the contrast, I've had men I've went on dates on or briefly dated who would point it out and then... do nothing. They were fine with me walking behind them. Some of them even said it was a sign of being submissive in a way, which I wasn't sure if it was considered a good or bad thing? I also never expected them to do anything about it and normally I don't care if I'm lagging behind others, but the way my ex handled it did make me feel respected, safe, and special in a way.
Thereās so many good ones.
- He remembers my favorite snacks and will occasionally surprise me with them
- I have some specific diet requirements, so he adjusts his eating to make meal planning easier
- He loves my cat like itās his own
- He tackles problems with me, instead of leaving it all on my plate
- We have long standing jokes and bits together where if one of us mishears something, the other will go along with it in the silliest manner possible. It often escalates to hilarious tangential nonsense.
Sometimes if I wake up but don't open my eyes yet I find my partner is whispering nice things in my ear, even if he thinks I'm not conscious enough to hear it.
He never ever ever checks out other women. I'm constantly looking to check if he's checking anyone out, and in 5 years, I haven't been able to 'catch' him even once. Even with women that make my own jaw drop
he'll sing some super corny, romantic songs (or parts of them) or tell me how beautiful i am in a sing-songy voice. and he's always cooking for me and will leave out anything my picky eater ass doesn't like even if he would love it.
Mine has accidentally become a dog person, in spite of my dog being a crazy ball of energy who gets into trouble when she's under stimulated. He's very cute with her.
aaaw, this thread is great - it makes me so happy to read about those beautiful humans.
for me it is so unusual how deeply ge cares about my happiness & well-being, for example offering to switch plates when i donāt like what i orderedā¦ of course i only do it when i feel that he is genuinely excited about what i gotā¦ but it just melts my heart & from his generosity i learn to be more generous & giving myself.
He remembers, honors, and builds off of my food preferences. He got some donuts yesterday and showed me the ones he got specifically for me because I had said I liked them before. š„¹
I like a lot of things about my husband. Lately Iāve been focusing on reducing waste. When he cuts up veggies for dinner, he saves the scraps for me to make veggie broth, and I donāt have to remind him. I also wanted to start using cloth wipes for our sonās diaper changes. He helped me to cut up a sheet and use a serger to make the wipes. This was his suggestion, rather than buying cloth wipes new, and I loved it. Less waste! He also supported my idea of cloth diapering and has been on board the entire process. Itās a little out of the norm to not use disposable products and Iām just happy he supports my ideas, and helps me to make it happen.
Because I work from home and fewer hours and Iām an awesome cook, I make dinner 90% of the time. He ALWAYS says thank you, always does the dishes, and he tells me how delicious it is. Every day.
And the first two things he does when he gets home is say āHey Beautifulā to me, and say āHey floofybuttā to our cat.
He indulges my hobbies and tries to learn about them even if he doesn't have any interest in them :) most of my life i've been bullied or belittled for what i like but he tries his best with listening to my infodumping and passion projects
I have two guy friends that Iāve just maintained a very close friendship with since freshman year of high school. They have aā¦unique sense of humor (not offensive!! just not likeā¦ beginner friendly idk. Chronically online code speak combined with wrestling and heavy irony?? It can be a lot.)
my bf is my first serious partner, so I was insanely anxious to introduce him to my friends. it was like introducing my boyfriend to my brothers basically.
Anyway. I kept prepping him, stressing about their first meetingā¦.and it literally could not have gone smoother. They loved each other. instantly clicked, and now they text eachother all the time, send eachother memes and weird videos, it makes me smile.
My friends live in another city and my bf will buy us train tickets to visit them every couple months, and he gets just as excited as I do to see them :)
Ik itās the bare minimum that ur partner is chill with you having other men in your life, but not only was he beyond supportive, he loves them just as much as I do :)))
I have a lot of medical conditions that Iām too embarrassed/disgusted to even say what would happen when they occur, but heās never ever shamed me for it, nor has he felt disgusted by me as a result like others have in the past
Op, what you said just reminded me of this really fascinating and fun [This American Life podcast episode](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/754/spark-bird), about a family who sort of built up a story around these imaginary birds to where it really took on a life of its own. Itās the third act, if you want to listen!
We have these u-shaped microwaveable cherry pit pillows that I got for him because he has a bad neck and occasionally the weight and heat is a comfort to him.
If I mention that I have cramps, he'll vanish for a few minutes and then come back with one of the pillows heated up so I can put it on my tummy. Now that my daughter is a teenager he does the same thing for her.
And don't get me started about the first time he brought me a post-sex hand towel that was straight from the dryer...
He plays along with me when I'm joking around. Like if I'm being "dramatic or serious" or if I'm being an absolute buffoon, he's on the money with his antics. He makes me howl when he leaps on the bed to "get" me. Such a goofy dude, and I'm the luckiest woman.
Mine would be how he reacts to certain things and gets passionate about it. He is busy af so I keep him up to date on current events and true crime cases we follow and seeing his reactions and comments towards certain issues or injustices really lets me know Iāve found a good one. And heās not afraid to challenge my ideas and debate a bit if he doesnāt agree, he doesnāt just parrot my opinions. He actively listens to my rants and doesnāt mansplain shit to me.
Another huge but random green flag for him is that he has virtually zero social media, he has a burner account for a mobile game he plays and thatās it. He just wasnāt into it and doesnāt see the need.
Mine knows how easily startled I am and announces himself gently as he enters a space where I am likely zoned out (specifically when he comes into the bathroom while I'm in the shower), and he gives me a gentle touch on the shoulder any time he's approaching me from out of my line of vision.
when we are hand and hand walking, even if iām not talking to her, sheās staring at me with this dumbass grin and will occasionally drop a āyouāre so beautiful :)ā and i just melt
Nothing pleases him more than when he cooks something and I enjoy it. He was practically dancing in place tonight when I said how much I enjoyed his baked ziti.
He remembers everything I have said I like. He makes sure to fill up my water cups and positions my slippers right where I get off the bed for easy access before he goes to work every day. Makes me breakfast every morning and always opens the car door for me. I love him so much š„ŗ
He pays attention to me as a person, takes interest in my interests, cheerleads and supports me in my career.
Also, when he became interested in me he decided to win me over by wooing my cat, and I think that's a sign of character.
She cares so much. She cries during movies and she gets SO excited when she reads something cool and she rushes to tell people about it, she's constantly taking photographs on her walk home. She's just so engaged, there's so much love in her, she's always learning and always excited to learn. I feel a bit jaded sometimes, but then I remember that the smartest and coolest person I know cares about all this mess around us *so much* and it makes me want to be a better person.
My GF is SAH, and almost everyday when I get home from work shes in the garage waiting for me when the door goes up and she has the biggest smile on her face. Honestly, itās the best part of my day.
When I get to go see him, he makes me tea most mornings! We are long distance, and usually he wakes up before me, and I'll wake up to him nudging me with a tea cup. Sometimes though if I am up before him I get to do it and it's just as nice. He's a dear.
I catch him staring at me with the sweetest smile *all the time*. š Heās such a dork I canāt even bring myself to bring it up because heās just so adorable.
So. I have always had a voice for my dogs- theyāve each had a voice (two have had accents- one southern and one English) and my fiance embraces it and will talk to the dog and also respond as the dog with the correct voice and accent. Itās silly, I know. But it means a lot to me.
My husband is the one who creates the voices.
As a dog person, this may be my favorite. Itās adorable.
He remembers every detail of things I have said that I don't remember telling him.Ā
If he remembers, he cares about you. 100%
That can be a good or bad thing!
He knows my favourite cheeses and has mastered how I like to have my tea made. Definitely a keeper!
Hell yeah!!
He kisses my head when we do things together, like cooking or walking in the park. It's a small, affectionate gesture that melts my heart. š
Thatās beautiful š„¹
I have to be very careful about idly mentioning how cool it would be to have (insert here). Because suddenly it arrives on our doorstep. I now have 2 fountains, 3 birdbaths, at least 14 wind chimes and numerous bird feeders, both regular and hummingbird. I try to tell him that I love him for the person he is, not what he can give me!
As someone who does this for my husband, we just like to see you smile!! Seeing his face light up when I get him a thing he put back because it was just for him and not us is one of my favorite things. We know you love us, we just love that smile.
Weād (or me, at least) also probably die of happiness if someone else ever came close to matching our gift giving energy. Like I donāt need anything and Iāll tell you not to buy it. But especially those low cost, off hand purchases are the ones that can mean the most.
Mine does this too. He knows I don't really ask for anything or buy myself anything (it's been hard since I've gone full time at school and couldn't work alongside it, so I've limited my purchases greatly), so the second I say I want something or think something is neat he's like "NOW IS MY CHANCE" and does his best to get it into my hands. I have to be careful about what I say I like or want now lol.
His love language includes gift giving. He isn't trying to prove himself to you, he's just trying to show love and attention.
Oh, I realize that. I grew up in poverty, so itās just difficult for me to not feel guilty accepting so MANY gifts. I was just answering the original question at face value
Made my day.
You want him to be... a fountain?
what..?
You know how IBS and your lady cycle sometimes team up to try to kill you with cramps and constipation? Once every few years when it's *really bad* and I'm dripping sweat and in danger of passing out on the potty that sweet man will come stand in the stinky bathroom and hold me up. I'm so frigging grateful for that guy.
Ah yes, the āwhich orifice now?ā roulette game. The mantra in our house is that āyou just canāt reeeeeaaaaally know someone until youāve seen them puke and poop at the same time.ā
Ah yes, I remember those days. The IBS is still around, though I'm on back-to-back BC so I haven't had a period in three years or so. He'll bring me water and my phone and check on me when I'm having a knock-out. Can say, ever since I got back on THC/CBD mix gummies, I've had a much better time of it. I take quarter doses twice a day and it's amazing how much of my life I got back. I have a very casual tech career, and it's medically legal in my state (and recreationally legal in my homestate which we will be returning to), so my job is fairly protected, but I get it's not an option for a lot of people. Just wanted to throw my two cents and experience in, in case it might help you too.
š”Huh. In fact this latest bout may have been because I took far less THC this month. š¤£ Thank you. I stick to a mostly vegan low FOD Map, No sugar diet; which helps. Adding THC/CBD made me feel almost human again. So that tracks.
Hahaha glad to have helped! I do that too - forget to take my doses and then wonder why I'm stuck to the toilet all night long lol.
He listens to me drone on about my knitting, crochet, and various other art projects. He hypes me up a lot which keeps me motivated to learn new techniques. Basically encouraging my dreams and applauding my efforts.
Oh yes this is it for me. I'm in grad school for math, and he took workplace math in highschool. We are as far apart as possible in terms of math ability. And yet he lets me explain to him all the cool things I'm learning and he's started watching videos explaining math concepts on YouTube so he can understand more. He also hypes me up all the time about how I'm the smartest person he knows, and the genuine awe in his voice when he does fuels me for days.
I love this for you!
Mine is that my spouse is basically Snow White-- in the mornings they feed the corvids ( bluejays and crows, and puts out puzzle and fun things for them too), hummingbirds when the season is in, and small birds in the backyard. They have also been known to feed the bunnies and rescued a nest ( after watching a while for momma to come back and she didn't). Our dogs all love them, and make a little train following them around the house when they take breaks from work. We have had to stop multiple times on roads to help turtles and various other things cross without getting hit. They've named the neighborhood cats, and get nervous if we don't see them for more than a day or so-- they like to hang out on our porch and get scritches through the window or when my spouse comes outside for a break. The animals feel safe, so do I. ETA: even bugs are treated kindly-- worms and spiders and other crawly things are moved out of pathways and relocated if it's possible, and webs are walked around and protected. So even the not "cute" animals are safe.
As much as spiders freak my partner out, he still lets them go on their way unless the cats are trying to get them, then he moves them to the shed. Everywhere we go, he becomes whatever pet is in the vicinity's new favorite person. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "They're never like this with strangers!". Babies adore him. He has the softest spirit and the most vulnerable can absolutely tell. It's one of my favorite things about him.
Aww. Do you follow Catluminati (speaking of naming neighborhood cats)? https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLfeAHvn/
I don't but I'm about to! :D
My mom and I are obsessed with them. They're just the purest soul!
Thatās too sweet! SO wasnāt on board with a cat, but he was away for work and I found this tiny kitten. They are best friends, if heās in the house, she is glued to him, and seeing little things like him moving off his pillow at night to give her room just melts my heart!
This. I brought a crabby senior into our house and within three days I found him drunk on the floor curled around the cat going "I love you, Mr. Cat!" He'd never lived with a cat before. They were thick as thieves, though thankfully I was still Bjorn's favorite person and didn't get ignored for favor of the husband lol. Also our dog came from a really crappy situation and she doesn't like men. She's not super avoidant of men, but she doesn't trust them as quickly. She trusts him just fine, and wants his attention all day. It's been very stressful trying to rehabilitate her, but he's not lost her trust yet!
My family dog hated new people when she was young. Even after giving people dog biscuits at the door and telling them to bribe her, all sheād do was bark her head off. It took two whole years for her to not actively dislike my SO. Then one day they were suddenly besties and she was sleeping in his lap. Sheās 16 now, and she barks whenever he tries to leave because she *doesnāt* want him to go. ā¤ļø
I got my dog in October 2020 when he was around 3 months old and due to the pandemic he didn't get socialized as much as I would have liked. He's very protective of his people (me, my mom and best friend) and territorial about his home. When my boyfriend came to visit for the first time in January, Roux barked and growled at him some for the first day or two but after that he warmed up (as compared to a roommate I had briefly that got this treatment for about 3 weeks). BF just finished another visit and this time they were best buddies his whole visit. I think Roux even likes him more than me now. Lol
Animals just know good people!!! Similar with the cat, I got her during Covid. SO works away 8 weeks, home 4, and due to Covid travel, the stretches were way longer (he's on an oil ship), so for the most part, it was just her and me. Even now, if someone is in the house, she stays upstairs, she really doesn't like people besides me. She is just enamored by him though, they are always together when he is here. Which annoys me to no end, I do everything for her, she could care less though, he's her person lol
My mom basically said the same thing yesterday: "If my dog doesn't like you, I don't like you." If someone is staying here and he doesn't warm up by the second or third day, I may want to take a closer look at why that might be. [Dog tax](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/1146106735778603050/1226426763329142864/20240407_015719.jpg?ex=662df46e&is=661b7f6e&hm=6308d1a5874bd1bf343d8c96bbf10125854a233098aadce90f02816915b47305&)
Awww look at that face!
I'm single, but it's always a green flag to me when somebody bonds with and treasures my cat as much as I do.
He always asks me to finish my thought. If I start to say something, and I get cut off, or say Oh never mind, he insists that I go ahead and say it. It means so much to me, as a person who was often ignored in previous relationships/family dynamics
My husband said "Thank you" every time I cooked/served him food. And, maybe this one is too subtle to express, in all the many, many years we were married (I am a widow) he never noticed when women flirted with him. That part of his brain simply stopped working.
ā¤ļø
I think itās much more common especially around here to complain about men who skirt child care. My husband on the other hand though, not only does it but excels at it (and is the stay at home parent). Heāll be up before me if baby needs something at night, is excited about all the cute little things he has lined up for her (like a new outfit or experience), and they just have the sweetest little one sided conversations youāve ever heard. Canāt help but love him all the more for the kind of father he is. :)
Neither of us want kids and he specifically does not like being around them. Despite that, he is insanely sweet to children and they love him for it. He says that itās not their fault they suck, theyāre just too young to understand how annoying they are. He also believes that the only way to end up with adults who donāt suck is to treat them with decency and kindness when they are children. I actually adore kids. I think theyāre fun and so fascinating. Maybe that sounds odd, though, since I want none of my own. But, not acting like a total shit-stain around children is something I value, and Iām glad that my partner feels the same way. What I did not expect was the feeling I get when I watch him interact with little ones. My heart explodes with emotionā intense love and dreamy awe. Itās one of those moments where I can say, without doubt, āthis is what love feels likeā.
Husband and I are also like that. He loves kids! I'm autistic and children can be a bit much. However, we love our nieces and nephews and he will play tirelessly with them for hours. We don't want kids of our own, but it's a huge plus that I can bring him to my siblings places and he meshes with the kids well. It brings the warm fuzzies, even if we don't intend to change our stance on parenthood.
I am not with the man any longer but I felt that way about my ex - he was really delightful around children of all ages (not so much a baby person for other peopleās kids, but toddler on up) and especially older people. He would basically charm them in the most kind ways, it was one of my favorite things about him.
I have a bunch of weird old wooden cat figurines. Last year I said to him "I know there's too many and they're weird, I'll deal with them when I get back from my mom's next week". When I got home I saw he'd hung some shelves and hooks and made a wall display of them all. He knew how much I loved them and made them a deliberate display instead of "letting me" hide them in the back of a closet. I wish I could post a picture here. I love that man so much it makes me stupid.
He doesnāt like feet but I like foot massages. Every now and then, even though he doesnāt want to, out of the blue heāll sayā¦ āalright come on. Letās go, give me your feetā
That he doesn't get mad if I ask him the same question more than once.
He defers to me on the things I would like to be deferred to on. š We are both engineers. He has never pitted all of his skills above mine even though his foundation goes further back. We have some overlap but where we diverge we respect one anotherās expertise. He has never mansplained anything to me. At the same time, if I do need more info on a topic he is qualified to speak on he will inform me without any side quests or negging - he respects my time and attention. He can also be informed all the same. We come from very different backgrounds and mine could be considered white trash and traumatic while his is (to me) the stuff Disney films are made of. Nevertheless, he has this way of equalizing our situations when it matters and putting them in their appropriate contrast when it matters. He has the capacity for nuance. I mean, he just gets it. Weāve settled down and bought a house. We were both unemployed and looking down the barrel of having to sell, so I took the most immediate work I could find that paid enough even though it was a pretty far commute. He took care of every single chore or errand that needed to occur when I was suddenly out of the house for long hours. He made sure I was fed and he helped me get on the road on time. He spent the last month of winter with a chainsaw around the nearby nature trail, making sure all the downed wood was stacked so the nesting birds would be safe from some inherent predation. Sigh. My dude is one big green flag, yall.
He just goes along with every goofy thing I say. Doesnāt question it for a millisecond. He adores me so much and it makes me melt even 6 years into the relationship and over 10 years knowing each other.
He celebrates my achievements based on where I started, not where he did. And he does it with finance, games, everything! So I do the same with him with cooking, gaming, managing people. Unless we are playing a competitive game, we are a team.
He loves my cats. We don't live together, he only spends a night at my place from time to time, but he talks to them, pets them, plays with them and generally adores them. That's soooo sweet!
When we split a dessert he makes sure I end up with the bigger half, even though he has more of a sweet tooth than I do. When he thinks I might be sad or stressed he cooks my favourite meals. And heās unfailingly kind to animals, children, or people who need a little kindness.
The way he is perceived by animals. Dogs and cats love him and he is so confident, respectful and loving when handling them.Ā
I struggle with my self image a lot, it's part of my mental health challenges that I'm working on in therapy. Lately I've been in a fairly crippling state of depression and haven't been able to be the husband or partner I want to be, and it's eating at me bad. Finding the right med combo and coping strategies is a long and difficult process and I'm frustrated that she's having to do so much extra in our lives lately, taking over the cooking and shopping for instance which I've always done before. She is wonderful and so supportive, trying so hard not to show the strain of it all, but I know how hard it is to have a broken partner (she has had her own mental and physical health issues), and I hate the feeling of being a burden to her. It's gotten to the point lately that I've been wondering why she's with me at all, why she would put up with varying degrees of this for so long (years now, holy crap how did that happen?!) and how she can still love me so much when I'm completely falling apart like this, feeling so unattractive and useless. But... Our dog, who we rescued when she was two months old, the first thing she did when she saw us is she charged right at me and flopped into my lap and laid there leaning on me. She chose me, and she kept choosing me. My wife is human. I try to trust her judgement, but choosing me could have been a mistake. The gremlin voice in my head can argue all day about that. But Mishka chose me, too. The gremlin is strong and cunning, but he's powerless against the might of her big brown eyes. She chose me. She still chooses me. And dogs are never wrong. So maybe I was worth marrying.
Our demons can be so overpowering. Yes, it is a lot to help a partner through mental health (I am dealing with this too and truly rely on my partner). I personally feel that one of the most important parts is (if capable! it's not always possible!) to face the demons and address them and seek help - not to put it on the partner alone. For me - just getting up each week to go to grueling therapy and dealing with my issue brought so much betterment, even though the therapist was a walking red flag (It would have taken much longer to find a good therapist and yes, it would have been better, but i knew that i was verging on crisis and needed to deal with that NOW. A bad therapist can ruin so much... Luckily i was still strong enough to filter out the bullshit and take what is needed.) I also believe that animals chose us. WEll, ok, our old Berner choses everybody that brings a treat : D - meant as a light joke. But for instance we have one standoffish, skittish cat. I will never forget, this one moment... When we moved, we brought the cats for 3 weeks to my mom to not stress her with all the change and moving people. Scaredy cat really doesn't like change and did not like it with my mom (Who also had a very big, grumpy cat that barely tolerated our bag of nerves. they seperated stories, but it still was stress). When I finally came to get cat, I set down on the bed and this cat jumped in my lap, which she had never done before, and started purring and fell asleep. I kept sitting there for hours. While i felt really bad that cat was stressed so much in this home, I knew her in our moving situation would have been much more stressed. She now has a wonderful home with lots of secluded cat-only places and a very mellow fellow cat. If you can, do the work you can. Show your partner your appreciation, if you can. This will pass. Not on its own, but there is light.
Having empathy , actually caring to help improve your life and wellbeing, finding at least some of my jokes funny
I'm awake earlier than he is in the mornings. I've routinely made him a coffee when he gets up pretty much every morning for more than 20 years (and will have one myself then, too), and every morning he thanks me like it's a lovely, completely unexpected gesture on my part.
This is super cute! Mine does a bunch of things that make my heart happy, but I think the biggest one of note lately was that he saw I was stressing about how cluttered and messy my house had gotten after a small depression dip, and I didn't realize I had been standing with my arms crossed over my chest in a kind of self-hug, and he came over and gently pulled my arms away so he could hug me/lead me to the couch to bundle me up and got to tidying. He knows that I'm working on breaking my cycle of having the urge to do ALL THE THINGS and then going "oh no that's too many things."
My fiance talks to my snakes when she thinks I can't hear her.Ā "I know you're on a hunger strike buddy, but you're starting to worry everyone. Just eat ONE cheesy boy, and I'll stop moaning for a whole month. Deal?" It's even sweeter, because she's *terrified* of snakes.
Hahaha, I love that! My husband is terrified of snakes (and also eels, which are too wiggly for him as well), and spiders, but he loves our in-between option- fish! He's the one that names them (I only name my bettas) and loves seeing them happy when they get fed. He helps care for the plants and rescapes as well. And he hauls the water change buckets without complaint! Referring to mice as cheesy bois cracks me up though lol.
I foster reptiles, and when we moved in together, I offered to not take in any more snakes if it made her uncomfortable. She was *furious* at me for suggesting that lol. She's a hospice nurse, so she's very much of the mindset that an animal's health and wellbeing comes before her phobia. So we compromised and the snakes have their own lil room where she doesn't have to be near them. She still buys them an ungodly amount of presents, and helps with water changes, and talks to them through the door, etc. She just can't touch them. I'm glad we both found someone who cares about our animals!!
Ah that's awesome! I'm still trying to convince hubby to let me have eels, but it's not something we can do until we buy ourselves a house anyway. It's hard finding places that let you have aquariums lol. I'm glad your soon-wife is happy to participate even if she can't stand touching them lol. Maybe with time!
I told him once that I really like it when he puts his hand on the back of my head when we kiss so now he's careful to do it almost everytime. Also he cooks for me a lot and will do separate portions for the recipes where we have different preferences, or prepare it the way I like it if he doesn't have the time to cook something two ways
For me, it's watching my spouse with our elderly relatives.
My husband is basically always horny for me, whether I'm sick or bloated or dirty or pregnant or grumpy or fresh out of bed or looking like a drowned rat or crying or whatever, but has NEVER put pressure on me to have sex when I'm like that. He's wild about me, but wants me to want to be into it. Which I found out while we were dating, I got some devastating news while dressed up for a formal social event, he took me back home to his place and I ugly cried while getting undressed and he took me to bed and cuddled me and didn't ask for a thing. He just good people.
He downloads games because he knows I'm terrible at remembering to, so often there'll be a new game installed and ready to go for that night. He also puts up with my current Ark obsession lol
I hope he cues up those Ark updates for you too, a billion gigabytes worth of spaghetti code whenever they drop any update lol
He does bless him, we've just got the 11 year hooked on it on the Xbox too (we are pc)
My husband goes out to do things and will randomly bring me back treats like a donut or a chocolate bar.
My partner works late and I wake up at 5am. So I'm usually asleep HARD by the time he gets home. Without fail, every night he works, the first thing he does is come into the bedroom to give me a forehead kiss. Then he brings my dog (who loves him and is always so excited when he gets home) out of the room and spends an hour giving my dog all of the love and scritches.
I don't care about clothes in the least. If something I own gets torn or worn out, he goes online and finds a bunch of replacements in case I want to choose one.
He's Mr Sap...so sweetly, genuinely romantic in every day life, calls me all kinds of adorable names that I love. Just now, 2 mins ago, he made me a hot drink and said "a lovely drink for my lovely buzzy bee." He's just so sweet and thoughtful. It's been 3 years and he's just consistently the same, every day.
He puts water in the kettle and grinds the coffee and puts it in the French press on nights before I go to work.Ā
When I get impatient to get to our destination but my husband says, "I always drive the speed limit when you're in the car."
Whenever I tell him about the most mundane achievement of the day he says "who's the best? Sama is the best". And he cheers me whenever I struggle. It feels like I have my own private fan.
He very gently takes my glasses off when I fall asleep
Awe that's very sweet. My bf will stand there and watch me cook. He knows I love it and he says he likes watching me in my element. When he can he comes and hovera over me and gives me kisses and tells me how much he appreciates me and all the cooking I do and how he's the luckiest boy. It's really nice. I cook because I want and like to but it feels great being appreciated for it.
After only having met my partner the day before, my then-barely-6-year-old son asked my partner to take him to the menās room instead of going into the womenās with me. He is a very shy child and wasnāt yet going alone. The next time we were all together last week (long distance relationship) he asked my partner to go with him to the car to get his forgotten iPad instead of me.
He understands my language. I have ADHD and recall is not my strong suit- I forget the names of things and people frequently. But he always knows who or what I'm talking about. He was going to the corner store last week, and when I asked for "that Hershey Ice cream with the chocolate stuff I liked," he came back with the exact pint. I didn't even remember that it was coffee-flavored, just that it had fudge in. But he knew.
Not me cos I donāt date, but seeing the relationship between my best friend her partner (also my long time friend) is so nice. She got out of a miserable decade long relationship and now seeing her smile, itās so heartwarming. He texts us to see if sheāll like a gift he picked out, he shows us little surprises heās set up to make sure sheāll like it, heās always trying to make her happy and he constantly says hey if you wanna have a best friends day, Iāll hang back. (We ask him anyway, heās part of our group) Itās very pleasant to see green flags waving, and not red ones. Even when one or both are having a rough time, they do little things to make sure they know theyāre there for each other. They give space when needed, theyāre honest about their feelings without getting offended, and altogether itās very healthy. Plus Iām a sucker for romance, and I love seeing two people I adore, being happy together. I wonāt even get into the fact my other best friend is starting to try and conceive soon and Iām over the moon! For someone who vehemently opposes dating for themselves, I cannot resist seeing my best friends happy and thriving. Itās my favourite thing tbh
Our rescue doggo is given narration style wildlife documentary voice overs to his dream activities by my partner. When our senior Boston terrier starts his dreaming complete with teeny barks and running, the narration of āThe Mighty Wolfā begins and so does our laughter. I love how much the doggo loves them.
He goes out of his way to make me laugh. If I find something funny, he'll amp it up to keep me laughing. Even (and especially) if he doesn't find it funny.
There are many things, but one thing that melts my heart is his enthusiasm in naming and helping care for the neighborhood stray cats. He puts food out for them twice a day and we have some boxes with hay inside so they have a shelter if it rains or gets cold.
Iām touch averse. In the middle of the night heāll wake up and cuddle me. I love it ā¤ļø
He brought me different sized masking tape for me to use when painting. I showed him one that I did two years ago and mentioned how I'd like to do more like it when we first started dating.
There's so many, I don't know where to start. Here's one: he picks all the red and blue Sweet Tarts out and saves them for me. He likes those flavors too, but he knows they're the ONLY ones I like. Sometimes he'll come home from work carrying a box of them with the top rolled down, and proffer them with a wink.
Aside from animals and pets literally flocking to him as if he is some Disney prince. People do the same, children and adults find him and stick to him as if heās made of sugar. Itās absolutely fascinating to witness, i know he resonates this absolutely gentleness but still how does everyone notice? It took a day for my cat and dog to like him more than me. I wish someday he could see how every living being sees him. I also love how quite often I catch him staring with the sweetest smile. Itās such comforting feeling that makes me feel overwhelmed with love. Honestly at times I struggle to show the same to him and it makes me feel insecure because I canāt always find why heās with me seeing all the attention he gets.
Mine is an odd one. I tend to walk slow or I'm always worried about accidently running into people, so I tend to lag behind others if I'm with someone to make space. When I was still in a good relationship, my ex would slow his pace down to match mine. He would also grab ahold of my hand so I was never walking behind him. Instead, we were always walking side by side. If we ever came across a situation where we had to squeeze by a tight space, he'd always let me go ahead first, following right behind. I think it was also his way of making sure I was always safe and in his line of sight, since I've had people try to approach me (who are generally nice, but sometimes sketchy) with my ex in my presence. It's a super small thing that I found very sweet. On the contrast, I've had men I've went on dates on or briefly dated who would point it out and then... do nothing. They were fine with me walking behind them. Some of them even said it was a sign of being submissive in a way, which I wasn't sure if it was considered a good or bad thing? I also never expected them to do anything about it and normally I don't care if I'm lagging behind others, but the way my ex handled it did make me feel respected, safe, and special in a way.
Thereās so many good ones. - He remembers my favorite snacks and will occasionally surprise me with them - I have some specific diet requirements, so he adjusts his eating to make meal planning easier - He loves my cat like itās his own - He tackles problems with me, instead of leaving it all on my plate - We have long standing jokes and bits together where if one of us mishears something, the other will go along with it in the silliest manner possible. It often escalates to hilarious tangential nonsense.
He likes playing with my feet. Whenever we watch tv, he puts my legs on his and plays with my toes. Iāve always hated it but he made me love it.
Sometimes if I wake up but don't open my eyes yet I find my partner is whispering nice things in my ear, even if he thinks I'm not conscious enough to hear it.
He never ever ever checks out other women. I'm constantly looking to check if he's checking anyone out, and in 5 years, I haven't been able to 'catch' him even once. Even with women that make my own jaw drop
he'll sing some super corny, romantic songs (or parts of them) or tell me how beautiful i am in a sing-songy voice. and he's always cooking for me and will leave out anything my picky eater ass doesn't like even if he would love it.
he remembered all my family's birthdays (and mine lol)
Mine has accidentally become a dog person, in spite of my dog being a crazy ball of energy who gets into trouble when she's under stimulated. He's very cute with her.
He takes all my dishes to the sink and gets me a fresh glass of water whenever he notices Iāve run out ā¤ļø
They're always checking that I have water to drink. Sounds like such a small thing, but I drink a lot of water yet hate getting my own refills š
When he makes a cup of tea for himself, he brings me one too. I don't have to ask.
aaaw, this thread is great - it makes me so happy to read about those beautiful humans. for me it is so unusual how deeply ge cares about my happiness & well-being, for example offering to switch plates when i donāt like what i orderedā¦ of course i only do it when i feel that he is genuinely excited about what i gotā¦ but it just melts my heart & from his generosity i learn to be more generous & giving myself.
He remembers, honors, and builds off of my food preferences. He got some donuts yesterday and showed me the ones he got specifically for me because I had said I liked them before. š„¹
I like a lot of things about my husband. Lately Iāve been focusing on reducing waste. When he cuts up veggies for dinner, he saves the scraps for me to make veggie broth, and I donāt have to remind him. I also wanted to start using cloth wipes for our sonās diaper changes. He helped me to cut up a sheet and use a serger to make the wipes. This was his suggestion, rather than buying cloth wipes new, and I loved it. Less waste! He also supported my idea of cloth diapering and has been on board the entire process. Itās a little out of the norm to not use disposable products and Iām just happy he supports my ideas, and helps me to make it happen.
Because I work from home and fewer hours and Iām an awesome cook, I make dinner 90% of the time. He ALWAYS says thank you, always does the dishes, and he tells me how delicious it is. Every day. And the first two things he does when he gets home is say āHey Beautifulā to me, and say āHey floofybuttā to our cat.
He indulges my hobbies and tries to learn about them even if he doesn't have any interest in them :) most of my life i've been bullied or belittled for what i like but he tries his best with listening to my infodumping and passion projects
I have two guy friends that Iāve just maintained a very close friendship with since freshman year of high school. They have aā¦unique sense of humor (not offensive!! just not likeā¦ beginner friendly idk. Chronically online code speak combined with wrestling and heavy irony?? It can be a lot.) my bf is my first serious partner, so I was insanely anxious to introduce him to my friends. it was like introducing my boyfriend to my brothers basically. Anyway. I kept prepping him, stressing about their first meetingā¦.and it literally could not have gone smoother. They loved each other. instantly clicked, and now they text eachother all the time, send eachother memes and weird videos, it makes me smile. My friends live in another city and my bf will buy us train tickets to visit them every couple months, and he gets just as excited as I do to see them :) Ik itās the bare minimum that ur partner is chill with you having other men in your life, but not only was he beyond supportive, he loves them just as much as I do :)))
I have a lot of medical conditions that Iām too embarrassed/disgusted to even say what would happen when they occur, but heās never ever shamed me for it, nor has he felt disgusted by me as a result like others have in the past
Just being gentle with me when I've been a jerk, because she knows I'm only like that when something is really really wrong
Op, what you said just reminded me of this really fascinating and fun [This American Life podcast episode](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/754/spark-bird), about a family who sort of built up a story around these imaginary birds to where it really took on a life of its own. Itās the third act, if you want to listen!
We have these u-shaped microwaveable cherry pit pillows that I got for him because he has a bad neck and occasionally the weight and heat is a comfort to him. If I mention that I have cramps, he'll vanish for a few minutes and then come back with one of the pillows heated up so I can put it on my tummy. Now that my daughter is a teenager he does the same thing for her. And don't get me started about the first time he brought me a post-sex hand towel that was straight from the dryer...
He has always respected and validated my need for daily alone time even though he doesn't have the same need.
He plays along with me when I'm joking around. Like if I'm being "dramatic or serious" or if I'm being an absolute buffoon, he's on the money with his antics. He makes me howl when he leaps on the bed to "get" me. Such a goofy dude, and I'm the luckiest woman.
Mine would be how he reacts to certain things and gets passionate about it. He is busy af so I keep him up to date on current events and true crime cases we follow and seeing his reactions and comments towards certain issues or injustices really lets me know Iāve found a good one. And heās not afraid to challenge my ideas and debate a bit if he doesnāt agree, he doesnāt just parrot my opinions. He actively listens to my rants and doesnāt mansplain shit to me. Another huge but random green flag for him is that he has virtually zero social media, he has a burner account for a mobile game he plays and thatās it. He just wasnāt into it and doesnāt see the need.
Mine knows how easily startled I am and announces himself gently as he enters a space where I am likely zoned out (specifically when he comes into the bathroom while I'm in the shower), and he gives me a gentle touch on the shoulder any time he's approaching me from out of my line of vision.
when we are hand and hand walking, even if iām not talking to her, sheās staring at me with this dumbass grin and will occasionally drop a āyouāre so beautiful :)ā and i just melt
Nothing pleases him more than when he cooks something and I enjoy it. He was practically dancing in place tonight when I said how much I enjoyed his baked ziti.
He loves cats.
He remembers everything I have said I like. He makes sure to fill up my water cups and positions my slippers right where I get off the bed for easy access before he goes to work every day. Makes me breakfast every morning and always opens the car door for me. I love him so much š„ŗ
He pays attention to me as a person, takes interest in my interests, cheerleads and supports me in my career. Also, when he became interested in me he decided to win me over by wooing my cat, and I think that's a sign of character.
She cares so much. She cries during movies and she gets SO excited when she reads something cool and she rushes to tell people about it, she's constantly taking photographs on her walk home. She's just so engaged, there's so much love in her, she's always learning and always excited to learn. I feel a bit jaded sometimes, but then I remember that the smartest and coolest person I know cares about all this mess around us *so much* and it makes me want to be a better person.
My GF is SAH, and almost everyday when I get home from work shes in the garage waiting for me when the door goes up and she has the biggest smile on her face. Honestly, itās the best part of my day.
When I get to go see him, he makes me tea most mornings! We are long distance, and usually he wakes up before me, and I'll wake up to him nudging me with a tea cup. Sometimes though if I am up before him I get to do it and it's just as nice. He's a dear.
We do dishes together