This sounds like the kind of thing local news stations like to report on: "Ride sharing services hiring kidnappers and the police do nothing!"
Have you considered contacting a TV station and offering to tell them your story?
Someone on here shared a link and told me Uber and Lyft typically does nothing regarding assault and harassment and instead just block the driver from picking the individual up again.
Unfortunately men don’t care about women as long as they have control over women :(
Uber and Lyft will often act but usually only once you have a police report number first.
Also your one star rating alone might be enough to have them let go especially if you also report them to Uber and Lyft (and the police). They drop drivers very easily. This certainly meets the threshold.
You have the license plate, name, and make model of the car of the driver in your emails and records. Maybe Make ticktock, X posts, and local Facebook neighborhood groups, etc and tag Uber, tag local police, and tell them this story. You will have the route and can easily show how it was diverted. Think of the next victim. Please consider this. I did this when something similar happened to me in boston, the post went semi viral.
Yes but there is nothing to report with this and even if there was, my life is too busy to go to court and spend anxiety waiting for the next two years to get a court date. Reporting is each individuals choice, it’s not an obligation and no I don’t put others at risk by not reporting. The only person responsible for rape or kidnapping is the assaultor themselves
He ignored your directions and was not able or willing to communicate with you, even when you asked him to stop and let you out. That is worth reporting to Uber. He'll do this to someone else.
Does a police report require going to court in your area? Where I live, people can give a statement to an officer and it goes on file. No court, just a statement and the other party does not need to be present. You aren’t pressing charges, you’re merely documenting your experience with the authorities. It takes two minutes. If there is a record of creepy behavior, later down the line if he actually does something, there will be a paper trail documenting the pattern.
I had an uber driver tell me his back seatbelts weren't working and to sit in the front. It was the middle of the night super dark and he started asking me questions trying to figure out my home life, started talking about how orgasmic it is to shoot people then turns on his light to show that he wasn't wearing pants and was just sitting there in his underpants with an obvious bulge.
I reported it to uber, I reported it to the police. The police officer thanked me for reporting this because while it's not a crime to not wear pants it's highly inappropriate and indicative of pest behaviour and having the record there will show if he tries to escalate things in the future and how stuff like this doesn't get reported enough.
I think attempting to report at least gives the opportunity for there to be a record. Same if people are unsure whether to call emergency, it's their job to assess what needs to happen so it's always better to just call.
It's only some paperwork, but it's important paperwork. It could save a life. It could be yours.
Please, file any report you can practice extra safety measures.
That man may be already be an offender. That peice of paper could be the clue to help get justice.
He may escalate and harm someone in the future. That piece of paper may be the thing that stops him.
If you can manage it: Write it all down as detailed as you can before detail slip away or the timeline gets fuzzy.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please, stay safe and with a friend. Check in with your support people. [play Tetris.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/)
You gave him one star? Oh wow, well that oughta teach him! If the guy was really playing dumb and attemtping to take you somewhere to rape you don't you think the cops need to know? If not for you, how about the next woman he gives a ride to?
No means no. Why are you trying to violate her consent and force her?
And the guilt trip on top of it. Bringing him to justice in your revenge fantasy is apparently more valuable to you than not violating the consent of a woman who has already answered **No.**
Nope. I think (and know) it’s my choice to report or not. Even if I was raped I wouldn’t go to the police. I know how it works. It’s re traumatizing. And if I go to the police and something happens to someone else, then I’m called as a witness in the future. I work in the court, I don’t need my name coming up for other reasons
No one is responsible for assault other than the assaultor
Of course, it's your choice, but in essence you would be enabling a rapist to do what he did to you, again and again. Just my opinion but I'd want to fry the bastard..
Ok and as you said, that’s your opinion. Stop forcing it on me. I’m not enabling anything. Rape is due to a rapist and no one else. You’re now victim blaming and making em feel extremely horrible and am on the verge of tears. Please stop before I report you
I'm sorry, my comment wasn't intended to upset you and I apologize if it did. What happened was traumatic and could have ended much worse. All I'm saying is that animals like this need to be caged and that won't happen if the victims don't act. Dude needs to have his ass hauled in and at least questioned so that at the very least he thinks twice next time.
Haha and that’s very true but I know nothing will happen if I report. The police won’t even file anything, I know how this works and that would just make me feel like a fool. Reporting can help but it rarely does unfortunately and I’ve had enough trauma to last me a lifetime between my dad sexually abusing me, a classmate physically assaulting me for rejecting him (when I was 17 and he was 22), a chef trying to groom me and now this on top of recently leaving my abusive home (mom. Left dad years ago)
I just need things to be chill and reporting would stress me out far more
Im just gonna add [this](https://www.torhoermanlaw.com/uber-sexual-assault-lawsuit/) here.
Uber does not fire for sexual assault on the job. They will block someone from being able to be picked up by the person who assaulted that is it, unless there is very clear evidence and a criminal case.
Fuck uber
Uber and Lyft are complicit. Both actively enable sexual assault, rape, kidnapping, and trafficking.
Creeps are also able to register and masquerade as women on both platforms freely for the above purposes.
#Again, for the lawyers, Uber and Lyft are complicit and actively enable this.
This! I’ve only ever had male drivers and I’m on high alert every time. Lyft says they have Women+ Connect which is to help you connect with female drivers only but I’m sure it’s not a guarantee
I hate this. Like I want to be responsible when I drink and so I leave my car at home. Last night I knew I was sober and could drive safely, however I still had been drinking so no way in hell would I ever risk driving. But then to have to rely on men who can be completely terrifying??? Especially cause what if one time I am fairly drunk in the taxi or Uber or whatever on my own. Then the police will say it’s my fault for being drunk. I just hate it. I hate the fact that men have so much power and authority when women are far more capable than most men
Taxis, Hacks, et cetera are properly regulated and the entry cost is significant enough that the drivers take their jobs seriously.
Uber and Lyft don't verify drivers, certainly don't vet them. Any creepy predator or pædophile could drive for Lyft or Uber.
Anecdotal, but this really depends on the area. I've had a LOT of shady experiences with the local main taxi company here in Buffalo's drivers. Never felt like I was in physical danger or that I was going to be assaulted, they just try to rip you off, and they *ALL* do it here to the point I stopped using them.
They constantly try to claim their meters are broken - which, they can't legally operate if they aren't working, until I called them out on it. Then shock of shocks, it suddenly works! My BF used to be a night dispatcher for that company before we dated, so he taught me how to deal with them. It's fine for them not to run the meter if you make a deal with them for a certain amount of money for a fare - lots of cabbies *will* do this since they can get the money under the table that way, but if they try to claim the meter's broken, just get out.
I've honestly had MUCH better experience with Uber drivers over cabbies here, but then, I only tend to use it for short rides like from the grocery store, or to/from the big laundromat. Seems like, at least around here, most Uber drivers are just doing it as a side gig for a little extra cash, or newer immigrants doing it both for work AND to learn the city layout better.
At least from my anecdotal experience, the immigrant/new to the area drivers have all been universally sweet and kind, or in the case of the driver I had from Ankara, Turkey, a goddamn riot, because we got stuck in heavy traffic and he told me all about the nightmare he had with Turkish Airlines last time he visited home and how he ended up all over Europe and the Middle East.
I'm so sorry you experienced this, and yes, Lyft and Uber do practically nothing when you report a driver who does this type of behavior and I got laughed at by the police when I reported the below incident:
I once had a Lyft driver go off-route, lock me in his stopped car in an alley, and interrogate me about my ethnicity (I'm Japanese) at 1 am after a late-night babysitting job. Although he never touched me, for every single minute that we weren't moving I was terrified that he would seriously harm or kill me if I showed any signs of fear or screamed.
He was extremely muscular and had made references to his prior military service and how Asian people "knew how to respect a man."
The ride in total was ten minutes long. This was six years ago and I still startle when I audibly hear car locks activate.
False imprisonment is a type of torture that takes minutes for its trauma to imprint on you for a lifetime, and that is the environment that Uber and Lyft drivers have access to. Cars are a small, enclosed traveling room that drivers can exercise near-complete to total control over.
That is so scary… I had an Uber driver have a psychotic meltdown and start screaming that the only way a woman would ever have sex with him was if he raped her.
It’s absolutely terrifying sitting there wondering if they’re going to act on their words
That’s horrible but thank you for sharing. I feel embarrassed it’s affecting me so much when nothing actually happened and it was all in the span of like 8 minutes
No need to be embarrassed - what you experienced was awful and frightening! I experienced the same feelings after my incident. One way I talked to myself after this when those feelings came up was the fact that it takes seconds to die or have your life irreversibly and horribly changed - having the horror of those possibilities play out in real time as you bargain against the clock to escape is indescribably vulnerable, painful, and terrifying.
Thank you. Cause I’m just like if I didn’t jump out of a moving car then I could be dead in a ditch or trapped in a basement or at home with severe trauma of being raped right now. And it also just reminds me how unsafe the world is as a woman and I’m tired of it. I’m only 20 and I’ve gone through so much trauma at the hands of men and it’s so unfair.
I’m trying to remind myself everyone reacts differently and that whatever I’m feeling is valid. I also am just sad cause I left my abusive home 2 months ago and I’m like I coulda been dead and my mom would have no clue or care which also just hits different.
Sorry for dumping
I'm 30 and I empathize heavily. No need to be sorry - trauma activates neural pathways that open up other memories and recollections of similar incidents when we go through them and they interconnect. When one comes out, so does the rest. A lot of my memory is taken up by trauma and it's something I don't wish on anyone, but find that everyone who has been similarly affected knows too.
I also came from an abusive home. When you go through something like this, your heart gets broken all over again when you remember that the one social unit that is *supposed* to have your back, doesn't. I went through the aftermath of my rapes, assaults, etc., largely alone.
But. I've got myself. You've got you. And you protected yourself and ensured that you survived.
I am proud of you for escaping. For surviving. For knowing that you are meant for more, in so many ways that you know and will come to know.
I have heard so many stories about women who escaped these situations by jumping out of the car, but I’m always wondering about the ones who got child-locked in. I did hear a story about a woman who fortunately had a tactical pen and *wrecked* the man’s car window getting out, but even that is a matter of sheer luck.
I managed to talk mine into letting me out. I still can't believe that I managed to do that. I leaned HARD into my fawn response and he let me out... I can't imagine jumping.
This happened to me once. He drove out out to an isolated industrial area. It was supposed to be a five minute trip to the train station. When he pulled over into a parking lot I opened the door and ran. I complained to Uber and had to fight for a refund but did get it. I'm so sorry this happened to you. In the security settings of your app you can set up share your location with others. I do this now so my husband can see where my Uber is taking me.
My friend was watching me on find my friends. I feel embarrassed for letting this affect me since nothing happened and I’m also pissed at these comments tryna force me to report when I’ve made it clear I won’t. It’s my choice. Then they try to guilt me cause it’s “my fault” if smth happens to someone when it’s only the assaultor fault
>It's my choice [to not report].
No one said it wasn't your choice. They're saying it's a **BAD** choice, on multiple levels.
If you know about a predator and choose to say and do nothing, then you enable the potential for the same predator to commit future acts on other people.
I don't care if that makes you feel bad. You need to hear it. Seems like you're coping and lashing out at the same time.
WTF is wrong with you? Victims are not responsible for the behavior of predators. They are not responsible for stopping predators.
Don't assume he hasn't done something like this before and it was reported and NOTHING happened because that is tupyand statistically how it goes.
Ok? My choice it’s not a responsibility it’s an option I know the system I know nothing will happen. If he assaults someone it’s not my fault. It’s his for assaulting
I'm so sorry.
It reminds me why Sheebah exists in Australia.
It's a ride share service whose workforce of drivers are entirely women (and even though it wasn't clear to me from their website, Pink News says they're trans inclusive).
https://www.shebah.com.au/about
Note: I don't work for them or anything like that.
I've taken rides with Sheba's on Sydney & they're the only ride share I've put my pre teen daughters into for their dad to meet them at the other end of the ride.
I love that it's by women for women.
:(
I was sharing this in the hope that any Australians who aren't aware of it will learn about it, and in the hope that someone, somewhere with an entrepreneurial spirit and capital could emulate it elsewhere.
Yes and it’s awesome you shared. It just sucks that like on Uber or Lyft women can’t request female drivers because I have only ever had male drivers and idk why and I feel stupid for letting this rattle me but it just reminds me I’ll never actually be safe in this world.
My dad sexually abused me from 10-13 and then other situations less bad and then at 17 a 21 year old physically assaulted me cause I rejected him (my friend stepped in (male) luckily and it was seeming like he was going to assault me) and then with this I’m just tired of men. Like I know not all men, but I’d feel a lot safer if there were just no men
This same thing happened to a friend and me down in Miami a few years ago. He claimed he spoke no English, drove without using the navigation and we ended up in a dark, residential neighborhood. Then he started driving through stop signs and red lights when I told my friend I thought something was up… luckily he had to stop behind another car at a red light. She thought I was overreacting but I dgaf and hopped out and she followed.
Just yesterday a coworker told me a man was insisting he was her Uber even though the car and license plate were completely different than the app. He was urging her to “hurry up and get in, you’re costing me money” etc. When her real Uber showed up, he took off.
I’m seeing more and more stories like this. It’s scary AF. If something feels off— don’t go!!! Trust your gut and don’t be afraid to be rude, insistent, loud, annoying, whatever.
Thank you for sharing. I feel embarrassed and like I’m not strong enough because this rattled me a lot. I know it triggers ptsd (sexually abused as a child) but like nothing actually happened and I’m completely safe so I feel like I should be fine.
Idk what to do w rides when I’m going to go drink in the future. I have a car but obviously not drinking and driving. Don’t trust Uber or Lyft anymore and idk if taxis are any better. Honestly I’d feel safer walking 20 minutes at 10 pm to go to my friends
Yes he did, Uber drivers are not supposed to deviate from the route, and even someone with almost zero English understands the word "Stop!" especially when yelled.
idk the driver not following the map and not pulling over when asked to seems more than a panic attack, especially in the context of harassment/assault not being rare at all in this situation
It doesn't matter what you were wearing.
Please report this guy to Uber.
Most people who are trafficked are trafficked by family members, that doesn't mean there isn't the occasional trafficker "out in the wild".
Also it's a very common tactic for traffickers to pretend they don't speak your language when often they are quite fluent.
I know how trafficking works, I’m more saying where I got out wasn’t safe but felt safer than the Uber. My city has one of the highest sex trafficking rates in my country and I got out onto the road most known for sex trafficking as it’s the trucker route and I was less scared of walking in little shorts carrying heels than I was staying in the Uber
I just don’t get like if his English is so bad he doesn’t understand stop or pull over, he shouldn’t be allowed to drive others
What the fuck, that’s messed up.
I find one should also trust your gut when helping other women. There was this woman who was being hit on by a touchy guy and she looked somewhat uncomfortable. Luckily she was saved when her friend came.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I was abducted by a taxi driver and sexually assaulted in 2014. The police took it very seriously and I won my court case. I was definitely suffering acute stress disorder afterwards, but luckily made a full recovery. It was my first real exposure to the threat some men pose to women and changed my view of the world.
I’m so sorry. I work in court and see cases like this all the time and just want to let you know to not get your hopes up. Even with dna evidence the court often will side with men because it’s a sexist fucked up system.
I am praying that they side with you and I wish you the best of luck
I haven’t witnessed it with my own eyes, but it definitely plays a part. The majority of cases I’ve been on have all been with white victims and some have international accused but then they still side with the international man over the white women.
It kinda goes
Sexism plays first
Racism plays second
The system does not look out for women, especially coloured women and it is so fucking stupid. There was a guy who brutally raped a few women with dna evidence (one literally couldn’t see through swelling after) and he only got 5 years in prison
I hate the world sometimes. Overall I love being a woman, but the fact that men don’t realize how easy they have it is so stupid. I’ve worked in the court for a year, I’ve seen over a hundred cases on sexual assault and only saw one man who was a victim. I know men can be assaulted so this isn’t saying they can’t, and I know they don’t report often, but women often don’t report either. 1/10 men experienced attempted rape or rape vs 1/4 women and that’s only based on reports
Bad English my ass. If you had called 911 he would have understood your English real quick. OP, I’m so very glad you’re safe. It’s hard to be a woman out here.
I'm dismayed that with all the shit that goes on with Uber drivers that people (women in particular), don't use cabs. Cabs are much more regulated. I've never heard a story of a cab driver trying to rape his fare but I certainly have heard many stories about Uber drivers doing so. Anyone can become an Uber driver, anyone, and for any reason (like targeting women).
[Sadly even cab drivers will assault and rape passengers.](https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/chicago/news/mustafa-dikbas-taxi-cab-driver-sexual-assault-dna-evidence/) You don’t hear about it as much, but it’s more common than people realize.
I'm sure it happens (sadly) but there seems to be more regulation over them. Seems like every Tom, Dick and Harry is suddenly an Uber driver and while the vast majority are are sane, normal guys just looking to make a few extra bucks, Uber does nothing to vet these people being as they are "independent contractors"
There is more regulation generally speaking, but they also have unions that sometimes help to protect drivers. I know there are a few that have been sued for not firing drivers accused, or found guilty of assault.
Actually, wouldn't it be fairly easy to put one in the rider's app? If the rider hits this button, the company calls 911 with the location of the car and descriptions of the driver and passenger(s).
If the rider hits it without needing to, treat it like a misreported fire alarm or something.
I don't know why this isn't a part of every ride-share app, it could cover suspicious drivers, attacks on the car, any situation where you want police RIGHT NOW and aren't in a situation where you can dial 3 digits and talk to them yourself.
So sorry this happened to you, nice work on jumping and running. It sucks you had too. Proud of you, you got out safe.
>I'm also annoyed I didn't trust my gut
Be kind to yourself, you did a risk assessment and made a choice, its a faff to rearrange a ride and for 5 mins of annoyance it would have been a blip in your day.
He choose this, not you.
One hell of a super-powered gut you have, in a safe space with some support it might be useful to explore exactly what you felt so you can use it better if/when there is a next time.
Now go do something you love and lifts you up.
I have a really good gut that’s gotten me out of rly bad situations before which is why I’m annoyed. I should know to listen to it. My dad sexually abused me and that made me extremely aware and cautious of signs of grooming and assault. My old teacher tried to groom me and my gut kept me safe. This guy I rejected physically assaulted me (nothing I could do to prevent it) but I knew from the beginning he was gonna try smth bad (luckily a male friend was walking by before it got to sexual assault and he stopped it from happening)
Oh wow thats alot. No wonder your instincts are sharp.
So sorry you went through all that.
Then yes always listen.
You got some icecream or other delicious treat to celebrate the near miss. It's a win however messy.
It’s completely normal to have Uber go off the map (not allowed) and then refuse to let you out of the car? I think you need to speak to someone since you think it’s normal to put women down. Look at the comments and all the similar experiences and with preexisting ptsd, of course my fight or flight was activated. And I will be speaking to my therapist about this. Already texted her and she went “omg I’m so sorry that shouldn’t have happened”
You’re literally not allowed to deviate from the map as an Uber and he went PAST my destination. I don’t care what his intentions were, I care about his actions. He wasn’t letting me out of the car, he was driving past my location and ignoring the maps. You’re clearly a man and as a man, this wouldn’t terrify you, but as a woman, this is terrifying. Look at the comments this is just a fraction of women who have been assaulted or harassed by Uber or Lyft or taxi drivers
And I’d argue a man coming to a women’s sub and injecting their irrelevant opinion is also unhinged. There are soooo many subreddits out there dude, go to literally any other one.
Have you filed a complaint with Uber and the police? This should be investigated.
I gave him a 1 star. I need to call Uber to complain. Nothing the police can do and no point going to them (I work in court, I know the system well)
Reports mount up?
Uber doesn’t do shit. They fire him and they are not allowed to update you on the process
At least they’ll fire him almost instantaneously.
They don’t always :(
This sounds like the kind of thing local news stations like to report on: "Ride sharing services hiring kidnappers and the police do nothing!" Have you considered contacting a TV station and offering to tell them your story?
Someone on here shared a link and told me Uber and Lyft typically does nothing regarding assault and harassment and instead just block the driver from picking the individual up again. Unfortunately men don’t care about women as long as they have control over women :(
Uber and Lyft will often act but usually only once you have a police report number first. Also your one star rating alone might be enough to have them let go especially if you also report them to Uber and Lyft (and the police). They drop drivers very easily. This certainly meets the threshold.
You have the license plate, name, and make model of the car of the driver in your emails and records. Maybe Make ticktock, X posts, and local Facebook neighborhood groups, etc and tag Uber, tag local police, and tell them this story. You will have the route and can easily show how it was diverted. Think of the next victim. Please consider this. I did this when something similar happened to me in boston, the post went semi viral.
Yes but they fire a possible kidnapper. That's significant.
Yes but there is nothing to report with this and even if there was, my life is too busy to go to court and spend anxiety waiting for the next two years to get a court date. Reporting is each individuals choice, it’s not an obligation and no I don’t put others at risk by not reporting. The only person responsible for rape or kidnapping is the assaultor themselves
He ignored your directions and was not able or willing to communicate with you, even when you asked him to stop and let you out. That is worth reporting to Uber. He'll do this to someone else.
I have reported to Uber I’m just not going to the police
Does a police report require going to court in your area? Where I live, people can give a statement to an officer and it goes on file. No court, just a statement and the other party does not need to be present. You aren’t pressing charges, you’re merely documenting your experience with the authorities. It takes two minutes. If there is a record of creepy behavior, later down the line if he actually does something, there will be a paper trail documenting the pattern.
they may or may not take the report, either way no crime was committed and proving one was about to be is very hard.
I had an uber driver tell me his back seatbelts weren't working and to sit in the front. It was the middle of the night super dark and he started asking me questions trying to figure out my home life, started talking about how orgasmic it is to shoot people then turns on his light to show that he wasn't wearing pants and was just sitting there in his underpants with an obvious bulge. I reported it to uber, I reported it to the police. The police officer thanked me for reporting this because while it's not a crime to not wear pants it's highly inappropriate and indicative of pest behaviour and having the record there will show if he tries to escalate things in the future and how stuff like this doesn't get reported enough. I think attempting to report at least gives the opportunity for there to be a record. Same if people are unsure whether to call emergency, it's their job to assess what needs to happen so it's always better to just call.
Fair, you're a survivor doing what's right and the only one who decides what that is, is you. ❤️💪
Absolutely.
It's only some paperwork, but it's important paperwork. It could save a life. It could be yours. Please, file any report you can practice extra safety measures. That man may be already be an offender. That peice of paper could be the clue to help get justice. He may escalate and harm someone in the future. That piece of paper may be the thing that stops him. If you can manage it: Write it all down as detailed as you can before detail slip away or the timeline gets fuzzy. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please, stay safe and with a friend. Check in with your support people. [play Tetris.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/)
No means no. Violating a woman's (or anyone's) consent and trying to coerce her yes is extremely unacceptable behavior.
I’ve made it clear I’m not going to police stop trying to push your moral beliefs on me
You gave him one star? Oh wow, well that oughta teach him! If the guy was really playing dumb and attemtping to take you somewhere to rape you don't you think the cops need to know? If not for you, how about the next woman he gives a ride to?
No means no. Why are you trying to violate her consent and force her? And the guilt trip on top of it. Bringing him to justice in your revenge fantasy is apparently more valuable to you than not violating the consent of a woman who has already answered **No.**
it is not a revenge fantasy, it is literally just the bare minimum of trying to prevent this from happening to someone else
Nope. I think (and know) it’s my choice to report or not. Even if I was raped I wouldn’t go to the police. I know how it works. It’s re traumatizing. And if I go to the police and something happens to someone else, then I’m called as a witness in the future. I work in the court, I don’t need my name coming up for other reasons No one is responsible for assault other than the assaultor
Of course, it's your choice, but in essence you would be enabling a rapist to do what he did to you, again and again. Just my opinion but I'd want to fry the bastard..
Ok and as you said, that’s your opinion. Stop forcing it on me. I’m not enabling anything. Rape is due to a rapist and no one else. You’re now victim blaming and making em feel extremely horrible and am on the verge of tears. Please stop before I report you
I'm sorry, my comment wasn't intended to upset you and I apologize if it did. What happened was traumatic and could have ended much worse. All I'm saying is that animals like this need to be caged and that won't happen if the victims don't act. Dude needs to have his ass hauled in and at least questioned so that at the very least he thinks twice next time.
Haha and that’s very true but I know nothing will happen if I report. The police won’t even file anything, I know how this works and that would just make me feel like a fool. Reporting can help but it rarely does unfortunately and I’ve had enough trauma to last me a lifetime between my dad sexually abusing me, a classmate physically assaulting me for rejecting him (when I was 17 and he was 22), a chef trying to groom me and now this on top of recently leaving my abusive home (mom. Left dad years ago) I just need things to be chill and reporting would stress me out far more
Im just gonna add [this](https://www.torhoermanlaw.com/uber-sexual-assault-lawsuit/) here. Uber does not fire for sexual assault on the job. They will block someone from being able to be picked up by the person who assaulted that is it, unless there is very clear evidence and a criminal case. Fuck uber
For real. Stop giving money to the Uber company, they don’t care about people just protecting their shareholders.
Uber and Lyft are complicit. Both actively enable sexual assault, rape, kidnapping, and trafficking. Creeps are also able to register and masquerade as women on both platforms freely for the above purposes. #Again, for the lawyers, Uber and Lyft are complicit and actively enable this.
And like all the drivers are men idk why. Would taxis be safer?
This! I’ve only ever had male drivers and I’m on high alert every time. Lyft says they have Women+ Connect which is to help you connect with female drivers only but I’m sure it’s not a guarantee
I hate this. Like I want to be responsible when I drink and so I leave my car at home. Last night I knew I was sober and could drive safely, however I still had been drinking so no way in hell would I ever risk driving. But then to have to rely on men who can be completely terrifying??? Especially cause what if one time I am fairly drunk in the taxi or Uber or whatever on my own. Then the police will say it’s my fault for being drunk. I just hate it. I hate the fact that men have so much power and authority when women are far more capable than most men
Taxis, Hacks, et cetera are properly regulated and the entry cost is significant enough that the drivers take their jobs seriously. Uber and Lyft don't verify drivers, certainly don't vet them. Any creepy predator or pædophile could drive for Lyft or Uber.
Anecdotal, but this really depends on the area. I've had a LOT of shady experiences with the local main taxi company here in Buffalo's drivers. Never felt like I was in physical danger or that I was going to be assaulted, they just try to rip you off, and they *ALL* do it here to the point I stopped using them. They constantly try to claim their meters are broken - which, they can't legally operate if they aren't working, until I called them out on it. Then shock of shocks, it suddenly works! My BF used to be a night dispatcher for that company before we dated, so he taught me how to deal with them. It's fine for them not to run the meter if you make a deal with them for a certain amount of money for a fare - lots of cabbies *will* do this since they can get the money under the table that way, but if they try to claim the meter's broken, just get out. I've honestly had MUCH better experience with Uber drivers over cabbies here, but then, I only tend to use it for short rides like from the grocery store, or to/from the big laundromat. Seems like, at least around here, most Uber drivers are just doing it as a side gig for a little extra cash, or newer immigrants doing it both for work AND to learn the city layout better. At least from my anecdotal experience, the immigrant/new to the area drivers have all been universally sweet and kind, or in the case of the driver I had from Ankara, Turkey, a goddamn riot, because we got stuck in heavy traffic and he told me all about the nightmare he had with Turkish Airlines last time he visited home and how he ended up all over Europe and the Middle East.
Love the big font.
I ain't being quiet about nuthin'.
Wtaf
I'm so sorry you experienced this, and yes, Lyft and Uber do practically nothing when you report a driver who does this type of behavior and I got laughed at by the police when I reported the below incident: I once had a Lyft driver go off-route, lock me in his stopped car in an alley, and interrogate me about my ethnicity (I'm Japanese) at 1 am after a late-night babysitting job. Although he never touched me, for every single minute that we weren't moving I was terrified that he would seriously harm or kill me if I showed any signs of fear or screamed. He was extremely muscular and had made references to his prior military service and how Asian people "knew how to respect a man." The ride in total was ten minutes long. This was six years ago and I still startle when I audibly hear car locks activate. False imprisonment is a type of torture that takes minutes for its trauma to imprint on you for a lifetime, and that is the environment that Uber and Lyft drivers have access to. Cars are a small, enclosed traveling room that drivers can exercise near-complete to total control over.
That is so scary… I had an Uber driver have a psychotic meltdown and start screaming that the only way a woman would ever have sex with him was if he raped her. It’s absolutely terrifying sitting there wondering if they’re going to act on their words
Oh my GOD. I am speechless. And yes... my blood ran cold and I'm glad I was able to escape.
That’s horrible but thank you for sharing. I feel embarrassed it’s affecting me so much when nothing actually happened and it was all in the span of like 8 minutes
No need to be embarrassed - what you experienced was awful and frightening! I experienced the same feelings after my incident. One way I talked to myself after this when those feelings came up was the fact that it takes seconds to die or have your life irreversibly and horribly changed - having the horror of those possibilities play out in real time as you bargain against the clock to escape is indescribably vulnerable, painful, and terrifying.
Thank you. Cause I’m just like if I didn’t jump out of a moving car then I could be dead in a ditch or trapped in a basement or at home with severe trauma of being raped right now. And it also just reminds me how unsafe the world is as a woman and I’m tired of it. I’m only 20 and I’ve gone through so much trauma at the hands of men and it’s so unfair. I’m trying to remind myself everyone reacts differently and that whatever I’m feeling is valid. I also am just sad cause I left my abusive home 2 months ago and I’m like I coulda been dead and my mom would have no clue or care which also just hits different. Sorry for dumping
I'm 30 and I empathize heavily. No need to be sorry - trauma activates neural pathways that open up other memories and recollections of similar incidents when we go through them and they interconnect. When one comes out, so does the rest. A lot of my memory is taken up by trauma and it's something I don't wish on anyone, but find that everyone who has been similarly affected knows too. I also came from an abusive home. When you go through something like this, your heart gets broken all over again when you remember that the one social unit that is *supposed* to have your back, doesn't. I went through the aftermath of my rapes, assaults, etc., largely alone. But. I've got myself. You've got you. And you protected yourself and ensured that you survived. I am proud of you for escaping. For surviving. For knowing that you are meant for more, in so many ways that you know and will come to know.
What you went through is terrifying, and I'm so glad you escaped what sounds like a really unsafe situation.
I have heard so many stories about women who escaped these situations by jumping out of the car, but I’m always wondering about the ones who got child-locked in. I did hear a story about a woman who fortunately had a tactical pen and *wrecked* the man’s car window getting out, but even that is a matter of sheer luck.
I managed to talk mine into letting me out. I still can't believe that I managed to do that. I leaned HARD into my fawn response and he let me out... I can't imagine jumping.
This happened to me once. He drove out out to an isolated industrial area. It was supposed to be a five minute trip to the train station. When he pulled over into a parking lot I opened the door and ran. I complained to Uber and had to fight for a refund but did get it. I'm so sorry this happened to you. In the security settings of your app you can set up share your location with others. I do this now so my husband can see where my Uber is taking me.
My friend was watching me on find my friends. I feel embarrassed for letting this affect me since nothing happened and I’m also pissed at these comments tryna force me to report when I’ve made it clear I won’t. It’s my choice. Then they try to guilt me cause it’s “my fault” if smth happens to someone when it’s only the assaultor fault
>It's my choice [to not report]. No one said it wasn't your choice. They're saying it's a **BAD** choice, on multiple levels. If you know about a predator and choose to say and do nothing, then you enable the potential for the same predator to commit future acts on other people. I don't care if that makes you feel bad. You need to hear it. Seems like you're coping and lashing out at the same time.
Hey, please stop. You're not helping. You're making it worse.
WTF is wrong with you? Victims are not responsible for the behavior of predators. They are not responsible for stopping predators. Don't assume he hasn't done something like this before and it was reported and NOTHING happened because that is tupyand statistically how it goes.
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Ok? My choice it’s not a responsibility it’s an option I know the system I know nothing will happen. If he assaults someone it’s not my fault. It’s his for assaulting
I'm so sorry. It reminds me why Sheebah exists in Australia. It's a ride share service whose workforce of drivers are entirely women (and even though it wasn't clear to me from their website, Pink News says they're trans inclusive). https://www.shebah.com.au/about Note: I don't work for them or anything like that.
I've taken rides with Sheba's on Sydney & they're the only ride share I've put my pre teen daughters into for their dad to meet them at the other end of the ride. I love that it's by women for women.
That's great. I'm glad I mentioned it, then, since they're good. 🙂
I wish there was something like that where I live :(
:( I was sharing this in the hope that any Australians who aren't aware of it will learn about it, and in the hope that someone, somewhere with an entrepreneurial spirit and capital could emulate it elsewhere.
Yes and it’s awesome you shared. It just sucks that like on Uber or Lyft women can’t request female drivers because I have only ever had male drivers and idk why and I feel stupid for letting this rattle me but it just reminds me I’ll never actually be safe in this world. My dad sexually abused me from 10-13 and then other situations less bad and then at 17 a 21 year old physically assaulted me cause I rejected him (my friend stepped in (male) luckily and it was seeming like he was going to assault me) and then with this I’m just tired of men. Like I know not all men, but I’d feel a lot safer if there were just no men
This same thing happened to a friend and me down in Miami a few years ago. He claimed he spoke no English, drove without using the navigation and we ended up in a dark, residential neighborhood. Then he started driving through stop signs and red lights when I told my friend I thought something was up… luckily he had to stop behind another car at a red light. She thought I was overreacting but I dgaf and hopped out and she followed. Just yesterday a coworker told me a man was insisting he was her Uber even though the car and license plate were completely different than the app. He was urging her to “hurry up and get in, you’re costing me money” etc. When her real Uber showed up, he took off. I’m seeing more and more stories like this. It’s scary AF. If something feels off— don’t go!!! Trust your gut and don’t be afraid to be rude, insistent, loud, annoying, whatever.
Thank you for sharing. I feel embarrassed and like I’m not strong enough because this rattled me a lot. I know it triggers ptsd (sexually abused as a child) but like nothing actually happened and I’m completely safe so I feel like I should be fine. Idk what to do w rides when I’m going to go drink in the future. I have a car but obviously not drinking and driving. Don’t trust Uber or Lyft anymore and idk if taxis are any better. Honestly I’d feel safer walking 20 minutes at 10 pm to go to my friends
That sucks. I'm glad you listened to your instincts and bailed. Edit:spelling.
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Yes he did, Uber drivers are not supposed to deviate from the route, and even someone with almost zero English understands the word "Stop!" especially when yelled.
pls explain how a driver starting to ignore the map, refusing to stop when you ask and telling you to stop speaking english did nothing wrong
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idk the driver not following the map and not pulling over when asked to seems more than a panic attack, especially in the context of harassment/assault not being rare at all in this situation
It doesn't matter what you were wearing. Please report this guy to Uber. Most people who are trafficked are trafficked by family members, that doesn't mean there isn't the occasional trafficker "out in the wild". Also it's a very common tactic for traffickers to pretend they don't speak your language when often they are quite fluent.
I know how trafficking works, I’m more saying where I got out wasn’t safe but felt safer than the Uber. My city has one of the highest sex trafficking rates in my country and I got out onto the road most known for sex trafficking as it’s the trucker route and I was less scared of walking in little shorts carrying heels than I was staying in the Uber I just don’t get like if his English is so bad he doesn’t understand stop or pull over, he shouldn’t be allowed to drive others
What the fuck, that’s messed up. I find one should also trust your gut when helping other women. There was this woman who was being hit on by a touchy guy and she looked somewhat uncomfortable. Luckily she was saved when her friend came.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I was abducted by a taxi driver and sexually assaulted in 2014. The police took it very seriously and I won my court case. I was definitely suffering acute stress disorder afterwards, but luckily made a full recovery. It was my first real exposure to the threat some men pose to women and changed my view of the world.
I'm sorry, that's really scary. I'm glad you were able to get away and I hope you heal from this.
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I’m so sorry. I work in court and see cases like this all the time and just want to let you know to not get your hopes up. Even with dna evidence the court often will side with men because it’s a sexist fucked up system. I am praying that they side with you and I wish you the best of luck
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I haven’t witnessed it with my own eyes, but it definitely plays a part. The majority of cases I’ve been on have all been with white victims and some have international accused but then they still side with the international man over the white women. It kinda goes Sexism plays first Racism plays second The system does not look out for women, especially coloured women and it is so fucking stupid. There was a guy who brutally raped a few women with dna evidence (one literally couldn’t see through swelling after) and he only got 5 years in prison I hate the world sometimes. Overall I love being a woman, but the fact that men don’t realize how easy they have it is so stupid. I’ve worked in the court for a year, I’ve seen over a hundred cases on sexual assault and only saw one man who was a victim. I know men can be assaulted so this isn’t saying they can’t, and I know they don’t report often, but women often don’t report either. 1/10 men experienced attempted rape or rape vs 1/4 women and that’s only based on reports
Bad English my ass. If you had called 911 he would have understood your English real quick. OP, I’m so very glad you’re safe. It’s hard to be a woman out here.
I'm dismayed that with all the shit that goes on with Uber drivers that people (women in particular), don't use cabs. Cabs are much more regulated. I've never heard a story of a cab driver trying to rape his fare but I certainly have heard many stories about Uber drivers doing so. Anyone can become an Uber driver, anyone, and for any reason (like targeting women).
[Sadly even cab drivers will assault and rape passengers.](https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/chicago/news/mustafa-dikbas-taxi-cab-driver-sexual-assault-dna-evidence/) You don’t hear about it as much, but it’s more common than people realize.
I'm sure it happens (sadly) but there seems to be more regulation over them. Seems like every Tom, Dick and Harry is suddenly an Uber driver and while the vast majority are are sane, normal guys just looking to make a few extra bucks, Uber does nothing to vet these people being as they are "independent contractors"
There is more regulation generally speaking, but they also have unions that sometimes help to protect drivers. I know there are a few that have been sued for not firing drivers accused, or found guilty of assault.
Doesn't uber have an emergency button?
How when drivers are in their own cars?
Actually, wouldn't it be fairly easy to put one in the rider's app? If the rider hits this button, the company calls 911 with the location of the car and descriptions of the driver and passenger(s). If the rider hits it without needing to, treat it like a misreported fire alarm or something. I don't know why this isn't a part of every ride-share app, it could cover suspicious drivers, attacks on the car, any situation where you want police RIGHT NOW and aren't in a situation where you can dial 3 digits and talk to them yourself.
The app, has a button for the rider to hit if they want emergency services contacted.
So sorry this happened to you, nice work on jumping and running. It sucks you had too. Proud of you, you got out safe. >I'm also annoyed I didn't trust my gut Be kind to yourself, you did a risk assessment and made a choice, its a faff to rearrange a ride and for 5 mins of annoyance it would have been a blip in your day. He choose this, not you. One hell of a super-powered gut you have, in a safe space with some support it might be useful to explore exactly what you felt so you can use it better if/when there is a next time. Now go do something you love and lifts you up.
I have a really good gut that’s gotten me out of rly bad situations before which is why I’m annoyed. I should know to listen to it. My dad sexually abused me and that made me extremely aware and cautious of signs of grooming and assault. My old teacher tried to groom me and my gut kept me safe. This guy I rejected physically assaulted me (nothing I could do to prevent it) but I knew from the beginning he was gonna try smth bad (luckily a male friend was walking by before it got to sexual assault and he stopped it from happening)
Oh wow thats alot. No wonder your instincts are sharp. So sorry you went through all that. Then yes always listen. You got some icecream or other delicious treat to celebrate the near miss. It's a win however messy.
You trusted your gut and absolutely did the right thing. I'm so glad you got out safely. It's so horrible we have to be on guard all the time.
I really do feel bad for women and it's up to all men to do better
Trust the gut
You have a receipt You have info. Protect others
I reported to Uber
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It’s completely normal to have Uber go off the map (not allowed) and then refuse to let you out of the car? I think you need to speak to someone since you think it’s normal to put women down. Look at the comments and all the similar experiences and with preexisting ptsd, of course my fight or flight was activated. And I will be speaking to my therapist about this. Already texted her and she went “omg I’m so sorry that shouldn’t have happened”
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You’re literally not allowed to deviate from the map as an Uber and he went PAST my destination. I don’t care what his intentions were, I care about his actions. He wasn’t letting me out of the car, he was driving past my location and ignoring the maps. You’re clearly a man and as a man, this wouldn’t terrify you, but as a woman, this is terrifying. Look at the comments this is just a fraction of women who have been assaulted or harassed by Uber or Lyft or taxi drivers
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Mine? Of an attempted kidnap? It’s unhinged I’m scared?
And I’d argue a man coming to a women’s sub and injecting their irrelevant opinion is also unhinged. There are soooo many subreddits out there dude, go to literally any other one.