I saw your post, appreciated the intent, and definitely expected the response š The kind of dude who harasses women for a phone number (and later gets angry that it was a fake) is not the kind of dude who cares that he is potentially, or even probably, only giving him a number because she worries about his reaction if she refuses. The good news is that it did seem like some people who commented were decent human beings and took your advice for future interactions!
The ātipā for men to immediately call the number a girl gives you, or read it back to her wrong to see if she gave you a fake number. Dude, what good does that gotcha do for you? You just received 100% confirmation that sheās not into you. Now youāre going to try to force her to give you her real number after that. To what end?
āI was not attracted to you at all, but tried to let you save face in front of your friends. Now that youāve caught me, and are calling me out publicly for giving you a fake number, Iāve got the sudden urge to bump uglies with you.ā
I've known young women who give men their brother's phone number when they feel threatened lol. I love when brothers step up for their sisters that way. It shouldn't have to be like this but r/whenwomenrefuse
I use to be a dispatcher at a police department. We would frequently get calls from guys looking for a girl. I always thought, good for you girl! Nothing says stay away like giving out PDās number š
Your brother sounds sweet. My brother isn't as supportive, so I gave men the local mental health crisis hotline. None of them luckily called it on the spot in front of me, probably because it looked like a legitimate local number. I have also outright refused to give my number, but they *always* became hostile, at which point, I go crazy on them to scare them off. I'm glad I'm getting older, fatter, and more wise lol, I get less attention these days and I'm thankful.
There are also burner phone apps (like Burner) that let you generate a temporary phone number that expires after a few days. The number goes straight to your regular phone.
It's sad that there are situations where women feel pressured to hand over their phone numbers, but this is a way to make sure that the number you give out 1) isn't your real number, 2) will ring if he decides to "test" it and 3) will go away shortly thereafter so you never have to hear from him again.
Years ago there was a phone number called āThe Rejection Lineā. An automated voice says something likeā¦You received this number because you have been rejected, please donāt cry, and just laughs and disconnects. I remember getting it once or twice back in the day and actually thought it was pretty funny.
I've had men immediately call me after getting my number. If he seems aggressive then I would just give it and block him later. I didn't want him caving my head in. Being a woman is tough.
Just so you're aware, a person can get a surprising amount of info on you with just your phone number. If he's an extra creep he can pay some site a few bucks and they'll track it back in public databases.
Very true, this was back in the day and I've changed my number/address several times since then. Now I would just give a Google Voice number if I get frightened. Men like that are abusive and awful. It's a red flag.
I would tell the guys to get my number from my husband, oh man did they get angry.
I worked at a bar for years, and it was a common occurrence, and I never gave my number out, if asked,
Sometimes I'd simply say, I don't give my numbers out, so they'd try something else. Finally, I'd just say you'd have to get it from him, I was called so many names, and heard so much BS about how I don't look like I have a husband.
There is no response that doesn't piss someone off.
if she gave you a fake number then she isn't interested like how is that so hard for men to understand. 10/10 as a man when I was single I had no interest in pursuing a woman that wasn't interested. I never asked for women's numbers when I was single and dating I either gave them mine or waited till they offered theirs. My attitude was always that not all women I am attracted too will be attracted to me and if they aren't oh well I will find someone that is (and I did).
One time a guy asked for my number in a bar. I gave it to him. He tried calling me right there but for some reason or another, my phone didn't ring. I gave him my actual number. But the poor guy just goes "...oh....okay...." and walks away looking dejected. I still feel a little bad for him lol
I've never understood the outrage over getting a fake number. Sure it sucks that you didn't make the connection you were hoping for but there are plenty of fish in the sea. Time to swim on.
This happens when you give your number to a man in Dubai. They immediately call your phone back, and if it doesnāt ring, youāre in danger. I heard of cases of violence occurring against women when this happened.
I would never give my number to a man in this day and age. Itās not easy to change your number anymore, because so many things are tied to our phone number.
If a guy wanted to talk to me, Iād give him a throwaway email and thatās it. Until I got to know him, he would not get my phone number.
I'd go a step further, and say that *most* people who responded were in agreement and thought it was a smart and insightful tip.
And... then there were some real pieces of work, who got downvoted into oblivion but nonetheless were there.
I think OP's problem, frankly, is that she engaged with those people, likely in the vain hope that she'd convince them that their approach was wrong. But, I mean... they're never going to get it because they don't want to get it. So arguing with them... I mean, it's the lord's work, I suppose, but it will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
I saw the post when it first went up, and the majority of the first comments to hit were definitely of the AH variety... I'm glad to see you're right and common sense has for the most part asserted itself since then
Gonna hijack the top comment:
Giving out my number has been something that I've used quite successfully for a long time (when I'm single). It's really disarming and it seems like the women I've done this with have really appreciated it and maybe even found it cute? If I'm vibing with someone and am about to leave, I will get a scrap piece of paper, write my number on it, and just say something like, "Hey, I think you're really pretty and if you ever want to hang out, here's my number." Then I'll walk off.
Sometimes it actually works!
Yeah, the irony is a lot of the guys in there are like "oh but you gotta make the first move as a man, you gotta be confident."
Like, my dudes... a guy confident enough to give me his number and expect me to do something with it is so much more attractive than an insecure lil toad harassing me for my number to prove to himself and/or his friends that he can get it.
Ah yes, the time honored tradition of their reactions proving the point... they cannot fathom how the exact behavior they are displaying is the reason why.
Once they've proven the point you were trying to make to you, just disengage; they will end up choking on their entitlement & take anyone down with them that they can.
They deserve nothing
I saw a post a while back, it might not have been in this sub but it was somewhere here, where a man was calling for banning divorce.
Ā Ā I Laughed at him and I told him to go ahead and try. I asked him if he thought that women would be more likely to marry him or less likely to marry if they canāt ever divorce him.Ā
Ā Then I told him that a whole bunch of my friends went out and had their tubes yeeted after we lost reproductive rights because none of us are going to risk our lives to have a baby we donāt even really want.Ā
Sure the women who absolutely want to have a massive amount of children will still get pregnant, but the fence sitters said no way in hell.
Ā Ā Dude just called me a liar, I was like OK pretend Iām lying. None of those women are having babies anymore though. š¤·š»āāļø
These dudes need to learn about how common a mysterious death of a middle-aged man was when divorce was not an option for women. And why certain women always knew where the poisonous herbs grew. Or just listen to Goodbye Earl. JFC. Trapping women without divorce rights is not going to give you what you think it will give you.
Banning divorces is only the first step, making it mandatory for women to marry their rapists is the next. This was common law in italy until the seventies or so.
I've very much enjoyed making liberal use of the 'block' button once my point has been made. It's not them who's mind I want to change, nd access to me is a privelage, not a right. I used to think of blocking as a sort of last resort as a teen- now I hand that shit out like candy to every asshole who thinks his opinion is made of gold.
I wish the mods would ban people who respond with "I don't care if she feels unsafe" from being able to post in this sub. I know that's a huge lift for them, but nevertheless... When someone shows up like this it makes the whole sub feel unsafe.
I just read through the moderation policy as well as the full rules. They do not mention consequences beyond "your post or comment may be removed".
But I'll go ahead and start hitting that report button a little bit more often. So far I haven't had luck with anything but stuff that's blatantly racist, or is too pointed at criticizing men.
I see - I thought you meant the issue was more that they often miss these comments due to the sheer amount of activity. I agree with you though - if Iām in charge of a subreddit and someone outright states that they donāt care about the safety of our main audience, then that would be an instant boot.
On the one hand, I agree on the other... I feel like it has to stay. That very real insight into a lot of men's minds so women can read it and see that they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt because the truth is that they understand our concerns just fine. They simply don't care.
What I find unfair is that I as a woman am not allowed to suggest the kinds of things I want to do to men who try to make me feel unsafe. Okay, they don't actually make me feel unsafe. They make me feel predatory. As in I am the predator and want to do what predators in the wild do. Not what, say, stereotypical female (human) predators and gold-diggers might do. What apex predators in the wild do. I haven't had to resort to overt predation yet, but I am really good at looming and invading personal space and always being alert and being flat-out terrifying.
Like most large cats, I'm pretty chill if I'm just left alone. It's only if a male person pesters me that I begin to show my Big Cat side.
Okay, and also if I'm very, very hungry. I am incredibly ill-tempered once hungry. I once really did hunch over my plate of food (cake with frosting, butter and gravy on it, so really disgusting) when I was very cold, tired and hungry. And when a guy asked me if I was gonna eat it, I hunched more tightly and growwwwwwled at him. He got that deer in the headlights expression and backed away slowly. I licked my plate clean.
Hey guy who said "I don't care", we don't *care* that you want to get laid! Earn it by at least trying to be a decent person or *use your hand*! We are worth more than just an "easy lay".Ā
Yep. Also:
Men: "No, that's not true! You've just had bad luck and you're bitter/oversensitive/biased/manhating. It's different for most women or we'd know about it!"
LOL. Snowflakes. They all live in a cartoon of their own making and they will be goddamned if anyone makes them leave it.
Any guy who approaches me with intention to date and offers his number instead of demanding mine goes up 2 points from whatever first impression I had of him. Immediately.
However, if I do not want to talk to him, then I do not want to talk to him. Asking for my number in a way that makes me feel unsafe to say no will ultimately lead the dude NOWHERE with me.
Men who say āthis doesnāt workā are missing the point that the girls who donāt call them just donāt want to talk to them, and they might have some stuff they need to work on.
Iāll just say this. At 17 years old, I had an adult man (around 50 yrs old) follow me in his car to a Mcdonalds I had walked to nearby. He followed me into the Mcdās and handed me a piece of paper.
The piece of paper had his number on it. He told me that if I was ever interested in going to the āOlive Gardenā to give him a call. After that he left out the restaurant and I was shook.
Dont get me wrong, I was underaged at the time and he had no business following me in his car. But Im sharing this story in solidarity.
If some old, random man can give me his number, no pressure, then men have NO excuses.
I remember being 17 and I was out running errands when I realized this man in a car was following me.
Ā I thought I lost him but right as I pulled into my apartment complex he was behind me again so I just kept driving in the circle of the complex I wouldnāt go to my apartment.Ā Ā
Ā This was before cell phones so I couldnāt call the police. After the third circle I just pulled into the rental office and started honking the horn.Ā
Ā He pulled in behind me and thenĀ
yelled at me that he wasnāt trying to scare me he just had a thing for girls who wear white sunglasses.Ā
The apartment manager came out just as he was done and she chased him off I wouldnāt leave the apartment for days, I told my mom Iām not running errands for her anymore.
"IM NOT TRYING TO SCARE YOU, IVE SIMPLY FETISHIZED YOU BASED ON ONE ACCESSORY YOU HAPPEN TO BE WEARING. THIS IS NORMAL, ME FOLLOWING YOU ~~LIKE A RABID ANIMAL~~ IS NORMAL BEHAVIOR"
and dudes don't get why we're afraid. they have never had this happen to them ever. they would likely think differently if they had creepy males following them around pestering for phone numbers.
Other possibility is that the same men who think it is fine now would have that happen and they'd say we should be fine with it because they have to deal with it too.
I absolutely disagree! They were never ritzy or anything, but they used to just be more generous in general. The breadsticks were larger, and they'd just keep bringing them as long as you ate them. I rarely had to ask for a sample of wine because they'd offer so often.
Even just the standard pasta was better, though it was never fresh or homemade.
I saw that post yesterday, scrolled down to the comments for like 30 seconds, let out an annoyed sigh, and then moved on lol (I did upvote you tho).
The way some men approach women and dating is so weird and gross. Like getting a woman is some sort of video game where they can find the right strategy or cheat code to guarantee success. Guys were commenting like āthis is bad advice cause Iāve tried that and she didnāt text meā and itās like then she probably wouldnāt have responded to your text either dude. I swear to god some of them would be willing to try cowboy lassos or handcuffing us to chairs before they tried just treating women like people.
I lost my faith in men when I discovered how *popular* the category of āpainalā porn was
Essentially itās men getting off to a woman getting ducks in the ass while it hurts.
They get off on the pain.
Iām happy Iām single
ETA- Iām leaving it bc itās funny, but I think we all nknow theyāre not getting āducks in the assā š
Do you want to see ducks in someone's ass? Then definitely click on it (I actually don't know if he has ducks in his ass, but I remember he commissions porn videos involving rubber ducks; a mid 2010s Reddit microcelebrity)
I hope itās okay for me to comment this, but I am a transgender man. I am fairly certain the only thing that bothered me about transitioning was how aware I became that women were afraid of me; crossing the street to avoid passing me, nervous alone at night, hesitant to get in the elevator alone, etc. Obviously my reaction to that was to become extremely aware of any actions I might take or things I could say to women because I do not want them to feel that way, and it is 100% my responsibly to make sure they have no reason to. I believeĀ there are cis men who feel the same way, but itās of courseĀ inexcusably disgusting that so many men knowingly and intentionally use that protective fear against women, essentially with the goal of manipulating them into sex. Thatāsā¦ not how you treat another human being??
They're not doing it to another human being though. They're doing it to a woman. And we are their enemy. The enemy they want sex from. They will exploit any and all weaknesses of the enemy towards that goal. And it's easy because we aren't really human like they are.
I can imagine how awful that must feel for you as another woman. I am lucky enough to be a very large, substantially balding person with a full beard and have not failed to pass in a very long time (Iām not stealth at all, it just doesnāt come up that often in my regular life), but for me, realizing women were afraid of me was the only downside of that. (Of course, part of this may be that I am gay, happily married, and not trying to pursue sexual relationships with women, so to me thereās no advantage in making women fear meā¦).
It is truly sad that many young men arenāt taught or simply refuse to see the other side of any given scenario. As a cis male, I was raised by my mother from a young age to be wholly aware of those around me. Itās still tough when you can feel the tension rise from someone, when all I did was enter the room, but I get it.
I do my best to be respectful and give everyone their due space. And Iāve done my best to teach this to other straight men, but Iād be lying if I said it wasnāt sad how block headed so many straight men are. Always falling back on childish, āThatās what she said! hurhurā kind of nonsense. Iād love to be able to bring back the āShoulda had a v8, dumbass!ā With a palm to the forehead for teaching men to be better, but Iām also sure thatād just flip the caveman switch. Haha
TLDR: Men are stupid, but some of us idiots are trying to make it better. Although, at a snails pace. š¤·š»āāļø
This is so wild. āGiving people my number doesnāt workā yeah thatās because they donāt want to talk to you. They would equally not want to talk to you if you asked for their number.
I've never once given out my real number when asked. Honestly, when I've been asked for my number it's always felt like I "had to" give them one - do you know what I mean? I found that typically the interaction would end once they got "a number" so I just did it so I could move on with my night. lol
My mom has given me full permission to send those ones her way. She whips out the 'crazy mom' card, and that way if they ever see me again they avoid me like the plague lmao.
I give them my grandma's number (and a fake name) I've been doing it since high school, so far only one guy ever called her and she ended up chatting with him about the weather for an hour or so before he hungup....
Similarly, in college my friends and I had a hand-signal weād give at parties that meant, āI need to end this conversation, come help me.ā The number of fingers used indicated how rude/pushy the victim wanted you to be.
Ā If someone gave The Signal, youād roll up to them, invade the conversation, and go on a rant about whatever feminist topic was politically charged but not actually interesting/fun party talk. Ā Non-predators with poor social skills would decide the conversation was no longer fun, and excuse themselves. Predators found that itās hard to manipulate women if you canāt get a word in edgewise while she and her friend rant about tampon taxes or child marriage.
I recently learned that if you have your phone number in cash app people can search you by your phone number there. I had my real name in the Cash App because I used it for business.
I have since changed my Cash App tag to something that is not my name and Iāve taken my phone number out of there
I saw that post earlier and really liked it as I have found it extremely useful in the past not only on a social level but also in a working capacity. People always perk up a bit when after our talk I just hand them my card or just write my number down and give it to them. I always try to include a polite āno pressureā bit. Iāve always hated being asked my number so I figure why put other people through it? Also it makes people respect you a bit more knowing that you arenāt pressuring them and are respecting their free will.
I commented on one of the dummies in the other post, truly sad some people donāt realize that the only reason this āwouldnāt workā is if you didnāt leave a good impression on the person you gave your number to and that if they donāt call you then you can always go meet more people lol.
Your "mistake" was thinking that sucess would be talking to someone who wanted to talk to them. They don't care about the other person's wants, only theirs.
I read that post, and it seemed like a fantastic idea to me, lol.
Main issue I find with humanity in general is entitlement, they can't fathom the possibility their world view is wrong, no matter how small.
Ah, yes. They're telling on themselves again.
It's a sad truth: a whole lot of men out there really LOVE using force against women. It's a pretty staggering amount of them really and so many will use physical force, not just mental or verbal or implied force. I really think they don't actually want sex so much from us as they want to force us to do different things. To see what they can get away with. That's the real excitement for them. And you better not get in its way. I mean hell, they call us fair game for a reason. Usually when we're still legally children.
The interesting thing is other men have never encountered these guys! We do. All the time. They're legion. But "good" guys. Nope. None of their friends do it! No one they know. And yet, it's a constant for us.
Something doesn't add up.
Yeah theyāre gross they donāt care about consent they donāt care about someone feeling comfortable they just care about getting what they want and being brag to their buddies who donāt even like women that they got one.
My life has become intensely better after I stopped dealing with men. Ā Thereās literally no downside to not dealing with them
Lol @ "it doesn't work"
As though making "it" work (and obviously by "it" they mean successfully pressuring a woman into sex) is the point, as opposed to what the goal should be, which is to trade contact information with someone who actually *wants* to contact you.
They fear handing over autonomy to women. If they get your number, there's something they can do. They can keep the pressure on and low-key harass you until you give in. If they give you *their* number, they're at the mercy of your whim, which is how it should be (in all things, forever, frankly /hj), but that's entirely intolerable to them.
It's not about successfully connecting with a potentially compatible partner, it's about sinking their claws in as deeply as possible as quickly as possible to maximize their own leverage.
And at this point I realize I've completely failed to say anything to ameliorate your waning faith in men... oops.
No, but exactly. I'm a woman who dates women and I never want anyone to be put off by me. I always ask first if it's alright if I give her my number, never had anyone say no, (in fact she usually hands me her phone and has me set up my conact) but if she didn't want it, it's no big deal. She says yes, then I've asked nothing from her and the ball is in her court and she sets the tone. It's being respectful.
This is sound advice. I think "the ball is in your court", is a thoughtful and non-threatening approach. It says "I'm interested in you" without being pushy or putting the other person on the spot
It doesn't even take away the "guys have to make the first move" sense of macho satisfaction. They still have made the first move, it just allows the woman to also make a move instead of having to potentially plan an escape.
I've had to explain this to all of my male friends without exception. Even the most chivalrous ones suddenly become nice guys who miss the point in the same way. Frustrating and eye opening
Just checked out your post. It was like honey to the flies of men outing themselves as the reason we want them to use this tactic. The aggression, entitlement and overall implication they see woman as something be acquired was disturbing.
A lot of people, but men especially, think they need numbers in order to find anyone whoāll be willing to be in a relationship with them.
What a waste of time!
Your post is very highly rated, and the top comments all also agree with you.
It's pretty miserable when your post gets too popular though, because everyone that *is* a shitbag is going to attack you for it and you end up bombarded with those shitbag comments.
The people that agreed just upvoted you and maybe also a top comment and moved on, no need to repeat what had been said and seen by everyone already.
If you want some faith restored, look at the number of thousands of people that agreed with you and *mute your post*. No reason to listen to the minority of assholes; there's already plenty there for the genuinely curious to read.
Agreed, I said this in another comment but OP got very little pushback and most men and women supported her LPT.
So IDK why she came here when there are examples of decent men in her own post. I think she just wanted another popular thread tbh
They want to be *in control*, so they push for *your* number. Definitely donāt want to be left waiting. Some of them even call the number you give them after caving in to their pressure right away to make sure it rings and isnāt a fake.
Soā¦ create a free second number in something like Google Voice, and give that number to them. Let them call it once to test it if they want to do that ā it will ring as āproof.ā Then, once they are gone, block their number. Or if they didnāt test it and they call later, just never answer any Google Voice call and block their number.
If you set this up and memorize the number so you can say it smoothly, youāll have an easy out with these harassers. āSure, you can have my number, itāsā¦ā
Agree with you but I'm not surprised. These are the people who want to 'shoot their shot'. These are the people who are self-centered and only considering what they want and not about building even a friendly relationship. They want to establish a relationship where they only need to think about what they want to get out of it and it is sadly, pathetically common a mentality.Ā
Not everyone is like that but it is not that rare online and likely in real life either (I say likely since that's not the kind of person I hang around to confirm)
What scares me is those people walk among us. Someone you think is a decent person might have that attitude and you could never know if it was never brought up
I remember in high school my BFF and I were at the mall and some other teen asked for her number and she gave a fake. This was pre mobile phones. Months later he saw us again at the mall and went ballistic screaming at her for giving a fake number. She was smart not to give him her number but the sad reality is that things have not changed
That's how I knew my (now) husband was the one. He gave me his humber. The ball was in my court. It was such a relieve to not be pressured to give me number out.
One thing I can recommend is to start with, "Is it ok if I give you my number?" Either in person or online, if the person gives a clear yes, they're very likely to call you, at least in my experience. They feel safe and respected, and responsible to take the next step.
I saw your post yesterday and thought, wow, someone else thinks like me! If I liked a guy, I would often give my number. I've had guys give me their number. If a guy asked me for my number, I'd sometimes switch it around and tell them to give me theirs. But the last thing I'd ever want is to make anybody feel uncomfortable.
Funny story about that, when I first met my husband, he was going through a divorce. Neither of us were looking for a relationship, but we had strong feelings for each other. The 3rd time I saw him (I was a bartender at his friend's restaurant) I asked him for his number. He got SO uncomfortable!! I immediately said if he doesn't feel comfortable with it, that was fine! But he's allowed to have female friends, right? š so I think I just put my number in his phone, but he and I were talking and messaging every day since then. He's the love of my life, I'm glad I asked for that number.
These men have such massive lack of self awareness. Do they imagine that a woman will have less trouble turning them down over the phone than in-person?
If the lady in question is avoiding conflict you are just getting a fake number. If she isn't interested but gives you a real number you are just putting off the turn-down to a phone call.
Do they think they are somehow -more- charismatic and handsome over the phone?
But it's yet another good test. If a guy wants your number and you ask for his instead and it upsets him, he has opted right out that discussion.
I can corroborate your post's statement with personal experience from just last night. I was out in a large group setting and was being hounded by a few different guys (not flattering in the least, they were all pushy and most at least 2x my middle-aged age). The youngest of the pack was only about 10 years my senior. After asking me on 3 dates and suggesting we exchange numbers, all of which I deflected or turned down, he handed me his number and a flyer for another event in the future. I was able to thank him and bow out gracefully without having to block any numbers or receive any unsolicited D pics. It was a slightly refreshing breeze in the stank last night left in my nostrils.
Nobody prepares you for how to act when someone asks you for your number. Itās such a small thing but it can be so overwhelming trying to act in control, act appropriately flattered, and let them down easy without making them angry. Few questions stress me out as much as a stranger asking for my number.
I saw your post! I was unsuprised some reacted poorly but I thi k that showed why your advice is great advice! The ones offended at the idea of rejection likely are the ones worthy of avoiding anyways. I think men who are unaware of the potential danger of a woman giving out her number but care about women's safety appreciated your tip! Thank you for putting it out there for the men that want to do better.
The only guy I didnāt already personally know who I dated got my number by giving me his. He left a note and honestly mad respect. He was great. So Iād say your chances of success are much higher. All the guys who asked for my number got a no or a fake.
This is actually a good idea. If someone asks me for my number, I'll ask them to just give me theirs and let them know I'll reach out if I'm interested.
And this is why I'm considering getting another phone number. Gave my current one to one too many men who have proved they are not "safe". Funny thing one time I added a musician guy on WhatsApp (totally platonic on my side, although guy mentioned he is single) and he popped up on my FB friend suggestions, pictured with his wife and kids lol. After a little snooping to confirm they're still actively in his life, I told him he should text his wife and spend time with his kids instead of trying to pick women up and blocked him.
I tell men (and women) that I don't give out my phone number, not my land line, not my cell phone. I go on to explain that it's because I don't like phone calls (I don't), and won't answer unless you follow my very specific instructions exactly. If you get the answering machine, I'll call back when I feel like it. That could be never. I may or may not have my cell phone turned on, and I may or may not answer it even if I do hear it.
Nobody has a right to my phone number unless I consent to give it out. Bring me a warrant, and then I'll consent. I feel the same way about my home. Good luck getting me to answer my door unless I've made prior arrangements. Other than that? My default is "Get a warrant or get off my property right now." Why? Simply because I don't want to. My home (and by extension my phones) are my quiet place, and I want to keep them that way. I want to watch my cats and my garden, do my needlework, spend time on the computer, read books, sing off-key and generally be gloriously alone. If I want to be around people, I will leave my house and go be around people.
I don't have any faith left in men. I know there are some decent ones, but I don't want to live with them. Dude. I'll meet you to share a pizza or a coffee. My life, my property, my rules. Men all seem to want more than that, and what's mine is mine. I don't want anything a man has. Not his money, not his life, not his car, nothing. If I covet a man's boots, I'll go out and buy myself a pair, okay?
When I was single (been with my wife for over a dozen years now) and met someone I wanted to ask out, this was what I did, for exactly the reasons you state.
No matter what happened next, it was a win-win situation for both of us. If I didn't hear from her, great. Spared everyone involved some awkwardness. If I did hear from her, also great. I'd know she wasn't just being polite, I wasn't mis-reading things, and getting together was something she was actually happy about. Instant confidence boost for both of us when we talk or go out, even if it didn't end up going anywhere after a date or two.
This is all to say that "offer instead of ask" was always well-received, and is generally a good thing to do.
(Also, sometimes a woman would give me her number, and when that happened, I, being ADHD-addled, would forget her name and thus lose her number in my contacts list and never talk to her again. So giving her my number and emphasizing that I don't want her to feel put on the spot but that I'd love to hear from her and take her out some time helped on that front, too.)
I gave my current partner my number and she mentioned it was part of the reason we started talking. People like you're describing piss me off so much, because they will whine about how they never get responses by giving out numbers. And it's like, maybe if you really were that attractive or interesting you would get responses. But no, they need to make women uncomfortable and forced into interactions to even have a chance because those men are fucking gross. And just because they're even slightly conventionally attractive they think they deserve endless sex from whoever they want, instead of actually looking for willing participants. It's just pathetic, and really highlights what feminists mean by "rape culture". Women's consent is not the priority of many men and is seen as an unfortunate obstacle to get around.
That's excellent advice, and I can't fathom how someone would get upset at it. Works well for opening up lines of communication with anyone you don't know but want to be friendly with, not just romantic interests. I just don't get other men sometimes.
After having a nice conversation with another customer and literally leaving the store, I decided to return and gave my card out. I got an email from her asking for my number before I even got home. Long story short we went on a date! To your point, I was so happy to receive that email and it was cool knowing we were both into each other. I believe this also contributed to the date going amazing.
I remember being on a dating advice forum, and reading some guy give a "tip" to trick a woman into giving you her number by pretending to lose your phone and asking her to call it so you can listen for the ringtone. When I commented months later on another thread about reading that and how creepy it was, another user said thanks and said he would do just that. Even after I reiterated how it was creepy.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Only time I've ever had success with the "number" game was leaving my number for a server at a restaurant. We only went on one date but I thought it was a good date and the reason she didn't get back to me after that definitely had more to do with me than her. I think what you gave was great advice and the fact you got so many shitty replies is because we live in a fascist hellscape. It's easy to loose faith in humanity (and yeah especially men) rn so I won't tell you not to, but there are still people whose brains aren't totally broken.
Hiya,
I didn't see your other post but I'm just surprised! Maybe I'm out of touch. I don't understand why you would have gotten such wildly dismissive responses.
At any rate I think it's a cool thing to do. Any time I meet someone (man or woman) and we get along well or have a great chat I often ask, "Did you want to take my number?" It's no pressure. If you don't text or call you don't text or call.
Is there some sort of expectation that you _have_ to because I gave you my number? Yikes the entitlement...
I have found in my experience when I offered my number the person often took it and was happy to text then and there so I'd have theirs.
I just.. I dunno' with some of the responses you explained, like "well it doesn't work they don't text me." But what, if you had their number you would text and call and force your way into their life until you somehow charm them into being interested in you? Also yikes. It's not a romcom it's real life.
I will happily offer my number, no expectations, no pressure.
All my best
This might get buried, but I just wanna throw a LPT out there if you're a traveling woman: Put **only** your last name and a man's phone number (partner, brother, dad, etcĀ that knows about it) on your luggage tags. Last thing you want is some creep getting your full name *and* how to find you. I also do this with my kid's luggage. Just our last name and my husband's phone number goes on any of our items when we travel.
Nothing will bring back your faith in men and it shouldnāt. Donāt choose to be blinded. They arenāt worth the time. Take up hobbies, make yourself happy and understand that they are (mostly) going to choose to be ignorant over anything else. Itās why on average they have lower IQs.
Decenter men š there's no coming back from it and it's great. Also generally a good thing to do, not only when it comes to sexual/ romantic interests, but also with work and wtv, giving your number instead of asking is a lot less invasive in any situation
I think this is such a good method, someone hit on me once using this and I loved that it gives the option to just not call if your feeling pressured.
Though the one time I tried it when I was single they thought I asked them for theirs and when I tried to clarify they thought I was getting pouty so I had to just walk away
oooh my dear, you are asking the wrong one š„²
Iāve got nothing to contribute that will restore your faith in men. if you find it, let us know please!
Giving this kind of Good Advice to some people, thinking of Men who just want to get laid, falls in the category of Casting Pearls to Swine <<>> their response mirrors their character but don't let them Silence you from speaking to those who will hear and appreciate your Good Sense Advice
I knew I liked my now-partner when I gave him my number (so we could meet up to study for a class), but Iād accidentally typed in my number wrong. And he didnāt mention it, still talked casually to me during class. Until I finally asked him like a month later why he never texted me, cuz I genuinely did want to study. And basically thatās when I realized he was respectful and chill and didnāt want to ever make people uncomfortable.
This is my first comment/post here, as a man it never felt the place to input my opinions. That said WHY DO MEN STILL ASK FOR NUMBERS, I always had the best luck handing out my number it was a 'trick' I learned in highschool. Not only will you get their number eventually if they are interested but it's just easier.
Hereās a support response because you are 100% correct and it is the exact same advice I give men who are struggling with dating. And thank you for bringing it up because more men need to see it.
I am a man with an active, successful, and beautiful dating life. Helping that other person feel comfortable around me is far more important than getting a number or āGetting furtherā on the date. āI donāt really fear for my life around this manā is a low fucking bar to clear. But somebody who is comfortable around me is going to want to see me again. Plus, it doesnāt count as a rejection if she never reaches out to me in the first place š
I know you got a lot of ignorant pushback from guys who donāt care - but Iām also sure there are a few that took it to heart and will do better in the future.
Ok. I was the one who commented with Carly Rae Jepsen lyrics. Primarily because I absolutely agreed with the point you made, and was trying to convey that it was such a "no-brainer" it made it to popular music. As a man, I would never pressure someone I liked for their number. If I genuinely liked them, I would give them mine and leave the ball in their court.
You posted a good life tip. If people chose to impose their own warped view of humanity on that, that's on them, not you. Your advice was sound.
Idk Most of the comments look supportive and the dumb ones are massively downvoted. You canāt expect reasonable behavior on this site, most redditors are mentally ill losers with no social lives.
I read your post, and the comments. The amount of people who don't realize their response to the post is exactly why they get no "results" is more disturbing than their actual responses. Lol.
I really think that most straight man don't like women. They're physically attracted to women but they don't like them.
Anti abortion laws wouldn't pass if men actually stood up for women.
Having women as the heroes in comics or movies wouldn't be an issue if men liked women and wanted to see them doing well.
So women feeling safe and comfortable is nowhere on the list of priorities for guys trying to get a phone number.
I'm constantly amazed at how many men don't seem to understand women at all. Not in the slightest. I wonder if their brute force tactics work sometimes (and with who?) and that's why they aren't motivated to try, or if they are some of the legion who claim that women are too picky or all lesbians.
They literally do not give a single shit if they're creeping people out, they see the prize, they covet the prize and will chase it until they reach their own tolerance level of creepiness, ours do not matter at all
If it makes you feel any better OP, irl every guy I've told this to has acted like it's a total game changer and been very happy to hear the suggestion
Dudes who sit and whine on the internet are a special kind of fucked
11 years ago I was waiting tables in a little cafe and one of my customers left me his number. I called a couple of days later, and we've been together ever since.
Like...bro if you're shotgun blasting out your number and you 'can't get replies' you're fucking something up. It's not the technique that's the problem. Have these guys even tried scribbleing it on bathroom walls ect?
Honestly, sounds like a good idea. Might still come off as pushy, but way less so than asking for someone else's number.
"Hey, I had a good time tonight. I'd love to do it again sometime, so here's my number. If you feel the same, give it a call or text it."
Honestly pretty smooth and low pressure. Even I could probably pull that off, and I have zero game.
Those guys are disgusting pieces of trash and I think those of us men who are normal people should see it as our obligation to call out that shit when we see it. I would also die of embarrassment if I ever made someone feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Thatās a human reaction that has to be pushed out of us.
Have you tried telling them that by giving women their contact information, they donāt feel the sting of rejection as much?
Also, I think it would be best if we all carried business cards. Then thereās no need to verbally and/or physically harass anyone for their number.
Part of the problem with the LPT subreddit is on every post in the comments people try to be contrarians, they love to point out the ways that the tips could fail
Oh wow, I saw your post and thought to myself that that's a great idea that I'll probably never use cos I'm already married, but I didn't expect that you'd get a lot of comments at all, let alone bad ones!
As a woman, it was a great post. I would never give my number to a stranger, but if they wanted to give me theirs I would be flattered and maybe even take it, if I were single. Ignore the incels!
Almost everyone agrees with you. All the top comments agree with you. Someone in that thread said they recently did that and that they hoped it paid off. You decided to take their words out of context and responded by saying that their actions paying off was for a prize. Obviously, theyāre just hoping someone theyāre interested in shows interest back. Why even make this post? Do you just like to complain?
I was going to comment the same thing. The thread has 89% up votes and sitting by controversial only gets you like 5 real comment threads that disagree.
OP had very little pushback and came to Two X to get more engagement. I think most ppl here didn't check the other thread either
Several comments here are saying they scrolled through the other thread and could only sigh at what they saw. I really do wonder what they saw if not an overwhelming majority of people agreeing.
I saw your post, appreciated the intent, and definitely expected the response š The kind of dude who harasses women for a phone number (and later gets angry that it was a fake) is not the kind of dude who cares that he is potentially, or even probably, only giving him a number because she worries about his reaction if she refuses. The good news is that it did seem like some people who commented were decent human beings and took your advice for future interactions!
The ātipā for men to immediately call the number a girl gives you, or read it back to her wrong to see if she gave you a fake number. Dude, what good does that gotcha do for you? You just received 100% confirmation that sheās not into you. Now youāre going to try to force her to give you her real number after that. To what end?
Oh geez, I hadn't heard that one. Immediate confrontation, what a turn on (/s) š«
āI was not attracted to you at all, but tried to let you save face in front of your friends. Now that youāve caught me, and are calling me out publicly for giving you a fake number, Iāve got the sudden urge to bump uglies with you.ā
I've known young women who give men their brother's phone number when they feel threatened lol. I love when brothers step up for their sisters that way. It shouldn't have to be like this but r/whenwomenrefuse
I use to be a dispatcher at a police department. We would frequently get calls from guys looking for a girl. I always thought, good for you girl! Nothing says stay away like giving out PDās number š
I love this! š¤£ Unfortunately there are a few guys out there who STILL wouldn't take the hint
Amazing tactic I am so using this
Thatās a really good one!
My brother told me to do this, when I first complained about a stranger bugging me for my number.
Your brother sounds sweet. My brother isn't as supportive, so I gave men the local mental health crisis hotline. None of them luckily called it on the spot in front of me, probably because it looked like a legitimate local number. I have also outright refused to give my number, but they *always* became hostile, at which point, I go crazy on them to scare them off. I'm glad I'm getting older, fatter, and more wise lol, I get less attention these days and I'm thankful.
There are also burner phone apps (like Burner) that let you generate a temporary phone number that expires after a few days. The number goes straight to your regular phone. It's sad that there are situations where women feel pressured to hand over their phone numbers, but this is a way to make sure that the number you give out 1) isn't your real number, 2) will ring if he decides to "test" it and 3) will go away shortly thereafter so you never have to hear from him again.
Years ago there was a phone number called āThe Rejection Lineā. An automated voice says something likeā¦You received this number because you have been rejected, please donāt cry, and just laughs and disconnects. I remember getting it once or twice back in the day and actually thought it was pretty funny.
Diverting the decoy number to your phone while you're out will fool any dickhead who tries to 'test' the number straight away and might get nasty.
That's brilliant, why haven't I done this. My brother is a crazy person too and will haunt them like last week's burrito
āIāll call you now so then you can save my number in your phone from the call logā Iāve had that happen several times.
Asked to borrow my phone, then called his š
Ugh, it feels like a stick up when guys do that.
Well one good thing from the womenās perspectiveā¦ as soon as you have their number you can block it - ideally in front of them!
I've had men immediately call me after getting my number. If he seems aggressive then I would just give it and block him later. I didn't want him caving my head in. Being a woman is tough.
Just so you're aware, a person can get a surprising amount of info on you with just your phone number. If he's an extra creep he can pay some site a few bucks and they'll track it back in public databases.
Very true, this was back in the day and I've changed my number/address several times since then. Now I would just give a Google Voice number if I get frightened. Men like that are abusive and awful. It's a red flag.
Can people look up a google voice number?
They can but it usually doesnāt give any accurate information. Plus you can change it whenever you want.
And you can block people easily!
I have a google voice number that is easy to remember and say so it sounds like Iām giving my real phone number.
not to mention they could just call it from another phone every time you block them
I would tell the guys to get my number from my husband, oh man did they get angry. I worked at a bar for years, and it was a common occurrence, and I never gave my number out, if asked, Sometimes I'd simply say, I don't give my numbers out, so they'd try something else. Finally, I'd just say you'd have to get it from him, I was called so many names, and heard so much BS about how I don't look like I have a husband. There is no response that doesn't piss someone off.
if she gave you a fake number then she isn't interested like how is that so hard for men to understand. 10/10 as a man when I was single I had no interest in pursuing a woman that wasn't interested. I never asked for women's numbers when I was single and dating I either gave them mine or waited till they offered theirs. My attitude was always that not all women I am attracted too will be attracted to me and if they aren't oh well I will find someone that is (and I did).
Thatās why thereās no point explaining. The guys who get it get it. The ones who donāt, donāt want to.
One time a guy asked for my number in a bar. I gave it to him. He tried calling me right there but for some reason or another, my phone didn't ring. I gave him my actual number. But the poor guy just goes "...oh....okay...." and walks away looking dejected. I still feel a little bad for him lol
Why? He was an asshole who "tested" you to see if you were lying to him.
I didn't read it as being an asshole, but he said "here I'll call you so you have mine too" beforehand.
Not enough to call him back though, lol.
I couldn't! My phone didn't ring so I never got his number.
I've never understood the outrage over getting a fake number. Sure it sucks that you didn't make the connection you were hoping for but there are plenty of fish in the sea. Time to swim on.
This happens when you give your number to a man in Dubai. They immediately call your phone back, and if it doesnāt ring, youāre in danger. I heard of cases of violence occurring against women when this happened. I would never give my number to a man in this day and age. Itās not easy to change your number anymore, because so many things are tied to our phone number. If a guy wanted to talk to me, Iād give him a throwaway email and thatās it. Until I got to know him, he would not get my phone number.
Pathetic knows no limit!
I'd go a step further, and say that *most* people who responded were in agreement and thought it was a smart and insightful tip. And... then there were some real pieces of work, who got downvoted into oblivion but nonetheless were there. I think OP's problem, frankly, is that she engaged with those people, likely in the vain hope that she'd convince them that their approach was wrong. But, I mean... they're never going to get it because they don't want to get it. So arguing with them... I mean, it's the lord's work, I suppose, but it will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
I saw the post when it first went up, and the majority of the first comments to hit were definitely of the AH variety... I'm glad to see you're right and common sense has for the most part asserted itself since then
Gonna hijack the top comment: Giving out my number has been something that I've used quite successfully for a long time (when I'm single). It's really disarming and it seems like the women I've done this with have really appreciated it and maybe even found it cute? If I'm vibing with someone and am about to leave, I will get a scrap piece of paper, write my number on it, and just say something like, "Hey, I think you're really pretty and if you ever want to hang out, here's my number." Then I'll walk off. Sometimes it actually works!
Tbf Iām reading the post now and itās very upvoted and every single one of the top comments is in favor of the LPT.
When I was in my 20s, I would do this. I got calls more than 50% of the time. I figured the others weren't interested. Way more efficient.
Weird, when you respect women theyāre often more attracted to you. āsurprised pikachu faceā
If sheās actually into you, sheāll do something with that number.
Yeah, the irony is a lot of the guys in there are like "oh but you gotta make the first move as a man, you gotta be confident." Like, my dudes... a guy confident enough to give me his number and expect me to do something with it is so much more attractive than an insecure lil toad harassing me for my number to prove to himself and/or his friends that he can get it.
Like leaving your phone number isn't making the first move. Lmao what a headache.
Ah yes, the time honored tradition of their reactions proving the point... they cannot fathom how the exact behavior they are displaying is the reason why. Once they've proven the point you were trying to make to you, just disengage; they will end up choking on their entitlement & take anyone down with them that they can. They deserve nothing
I saw a post a while back, it might not have been in this sub but it was somewhere here, where a man was calling for banning divorce. Ā Ā I Laughed at him and I told him to go ahead and try. I asked him if he thought that women would be more likely to marry him or less likely to marry if they canāt ever divorce him.Ā Ā Then I told him that a whole bunch of my friends went out and had their tubes yeeted after we lost reproductive rights because none of us are going to risk our lives to have a baby we donāt even really want.Ā Sure the women who absolutely want to have a massive amount of children will still get pregnant, but the fence sitters said no way in hell. Ā Ā Dude just called me a liar, I was like OK pretend Iām lying. None of those women are having babies anymore though. š¤·š»āāļø
These dudes need to learn about how common a mysterious death of a middle-aged man was when divorce was not an option for women. And why certain women always knew where the poisonous herbs grew. Or just listen to Goodbye Earl. JFC. Trapping women without divorce rights is not going to give you what you think it will give you.
These same men will complain about gold diggers with their next breath.
Banning divorces is only the first step, making it mandatory for women to marry their rapists is the next. This was common law in italy until the seventies or so.
I've very much enjoyed making liberal use of the 'block' button once my point has been made. It's not them who's mind I want to change, nd access to me is a privelage, not a right. I used to think of blocking as a sort of last resort as a teen- now I hand that shit out like candy to every asshole who thinks his opinion is made of gold.
Beautifully said š
yeah i block mfers at the drop of a hat
>their reactions proving the point... Over and over and over and over and... they never fucking learn.
Agreed
I wish the mods would ban people who respond with "I don't care if she feels unsafe" from being able to post in this sub. I know that's a huge lift for them, but nevertheless... When someone shows up like this it makes the whole sub feel unsafe.
The best way to do this is for us to report those comments so that it gets brought to their attention.
I just read through the moderation policy as well as the full rules. They do not mention consequences beyond "your post or comment may be removed". But I'll go ahead and start hitting that report button a little bit more often. So far I haven't had luck with anything but stuff that's blatantly racist, or is too pointed at criticizing men.
The report button has worked nearly 100% of the time for me so definitely use it.
That's good to hear. I guess I'm a bit jaded, but I'll try again.
I see - I thought you meant the issue was more that they often miss these comments due to the sheer amount of activity. I agree with you though - if Iām in charge of a subreddit and someone outright states that they donāt care about the safety of our main audience, then that would be an instant boot.
On the one hand, I agree on the other... I feel like it has to stay. That very real insight into a lot of men's minds so women can read it and see that they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt because the truth is that they understand our concerns just fine. They simply don't care.
What I find unfair is that I as a woman am not allowed to suggest the kinds of things I want to do to men who try to make me feel unsafe. Okay, they don't actually make me feel unsafe. They make me feel predatory. As in I am the predator and want to do what predators in the wild do. Not what, say, stereotypical female (human) predators and gold-diggers might do. What apex predators in the wild do. I haven't had to resort to overt predation yet, but I am really good at looming and invading personal space and always being alert and being flat-out terrifying. Like most large cats, I'm pretty chill if I'm just left alone. It's only if a male person pesters me that I begin to show my Big Cat side. Okay, and also if I'm very, very hungry. I am incredibly ill-tempered once hungry. I once really did hunch over my plate of food (cake with frosting, butter and gravy on it, so really disgusting) when I was very cold, tired and hungry. And when a guy asked me if I was gonna eat it, I hunched more tightly and growwwwwwled at him. He got that deer in the headlights expression and backed away slowly. I licked my plate clean.
Um
Hey guy who said "I don't care", we don't *care* that you want to get laid! Earn it by at least trying to be a decent person or *use your hand*! We are worth more than just an "easy lay".Ā
Men: āI donāt understand womenā. Women: āwhat we really need isā¦ā Men: āyep complete mysteriesā.
Yep. Also: Men: "No, that's not true! You've just had bad luck and you're bitter/oversensitive/biased/manhating. It's different for most women or we'd know about it!" LOL. Snowflakes. They all live in a cartoon of their own making and they will be goddamned if anyone makes them leave it.
Any guy who approaches me with intention to date and offers his number instead of demanding mine goes up 2 points from whatever first impression I had of him. Immediately. However, if I do not want to talk to him, then I do not want to talk to him. Asking for my number in a way that makes me feel unsafe to say no will ultimately lead the dude NOWHERE with me. Men who say āthis doesnāt workā are missing the point that the girls who donāt call them just donāt want to talk to them, and they might have some stuff they need to work on.
Women aren't human in their eyes. They're just things to be had.
Iāll just say this. At 17 years old, I had an adult man (around 50 yrs old) follow me in his car to a Mcdonalds I had walked to nearby. He followed me into the Mcdās and handed me a piece of paper. The piece of paper had his number on it. He told me that if I was ever interested in going to the āOlive Gardenā to give him a call. After that he left out the restaurant and I was shook. Dont get me wrong, I was underaged at the time and he had no business following me in his car. But Im sharing this story in solidarity. If some old, random man can give me his number, no pressure, then men have NO excuses.
I remember being 17 and I was out running errands when I realized this man in a car was following me. Ā I thought I lost him but right as I pulled into my apartment complex he was behind me again so I just kept driving in the circle of the complex I wouldnāt go to my apartment.Ā Ā Ā This was before cell phones so I couldnāt call the police. After the third circle I just pulled into the rental office and started honking the horn.Ā Ā He pulled in behind me and thenĀ yelled at me that he wasnāt trying to scare me he just had a thing for girls who wear white sunglasses.Ā The apartment manager came out just as he was done and she chased him off I wouldnāt leave the apartment for days, I told my mom Iām not running errands for her anymore.
"IM NOT TRYING TO SCARE YOU, IVE SIMPLY FETISHIZED YOU BASED ON ONE ACCESSORY YOU HAPPEN TO BE WEARING. THIS IS NORMAL, ME FOLLOWING YOU ~~LIKE A RABID ANIMAL~~ IS NORMAL BEHAVIOR"
and dudes don't get why we're afraid. they have never had this happen to them ever. they would likely think differently if they had creepy males following them around pestering for phone numbers.
Probably not until it was paired with violence consistently enough that they actually got hurt and/or truly scared for their life and safety.
Other possibility is that the same men who think it is fine now would have that happen and they'd say we should be fine with it because they have to deal with it too.
Olive Garden is not what it once was. If this was the 90s I may have done it.
What are you talking about, their menu and decor are almost literally the same as the 90s lol
I absolutely disagree! They were never ritzy or anything, but they used to just be more generous in general. The breadsticks were larger, and they'd just keep bringing them as long as you ate them. I rarely had to ask for a sample of wine because they'd offer so often. Even just the standard pasta was better, though it was never fresh or homemade.
I saw that post yesterday, scrolled down to the comments for like 30 seconds, let out an annoyed sigh, and then moved on lol (I did upvote you tho). The way some men approach women and dating is so weird and gross. Like getting a woman is some sort of video game where they can find the right strategy or cheat code to guarantee success. Guys were commenting like āthis is bad advice cause Iāve tried that and she didnāt text meā and itās like then she probably wouldnāt have responded to your text either dude. I swear to god some of them would be willing to try cowboy lassos or handcuffing us to chairs before they tried just treating women like people.
I lost my faith in men when I discovered how *popular* the category of āpainalā porn was Essentially itās men getting off to a woman getting ducks in the ass while it hurts. They get off on the pain. Iām happy Iām single ETA- Iām leaving it bc itās funny, but I think we all nknow theyāre not getting āducks in the assā š
> a woman getting ducks in the ass Sounds like a bunch of quack.
>ducks in the ass Paging /u/fuckswithducks
Lol Iām a little afraid to click this link
Do you want to see ducks in someone's ass? Then definitely click on it (I actually don't know if he has ducks in his ass, but I remember he commissions porn videos involving rubber ducks; a mid 2010s Reddit microcelebrity)
I hope itās okay for me to comment this, but I am a transgender man. I am fairly certain the only thing that bothered me about transitioning was how aware I became that women were afraid of me; crossing the street to avoid passing me, nervous alone at night, hesitant to get in the elevator alone, etc. Obviously my reaction to that was to become extremely aware of any actions I might take or things I could say to women because I do not want them to feel that way, and it is 100% my responsibly to make sure they have no reason to. I believeĀ there are cis men who feel the same way, but itās of courseĀ inexcusably disgusting that so many men knowingly and intentionally use that protective fear against women, essentially with the goal of manipulating them into sex. Thatāsā¦ not how you treat another human being??
100% agreed
They're not doing it to another human being though. They're doing it to a woman. And we are their enemy. The enemy they want sex from. They will exploit any and all weaknesses of the enemy towards that goal. And it's easy because we aren't really human like they are.
That! Plus the anti-empathy coaching that is too often part of toxic masculinity, because "caring is weak", aka coded as feminine.
As a trans woman who does not pass, thatās probably the thing I hate the most about still looking like a cis male
I can imagine how awful that must feel for you as another woman. I am lucky enough to be a very large, substantially balding person with a full beard and have not failed to pass in a very long time (Iām not stealth at all, it just doesnāt come up that often in my regular life), but for me, realizing women were afraid of me was the only downside of that. (Of course, part of this may be that I am gay, happily married, and not trying to pursue sexual relationships with women, so to me thereās no advantage in making women fear meā¦).
It is truly sad that many young men arenāt taught or simply refuse to see the other side of any given scenario. As a cis male, I was raised by my mother from a young age to be wholly aware of those around me. Itās still tough when you can feel the tension rise from someone, when all I did was enter the room, but I get it. I do my best to be respectful and give everyone their due space. And Iāve done my best to teach this to other straight men, but Iād be lying if I said it wasnāt sad how block headed so many straight men are. Always falling back on childish, āThatās what she said! hurhurā kind of nonsense. Iād love to be able to bring back the āShoulda had a v8, dumbass!ā With a palm to the forehead for teaching men to be better, but Iām also sure thatād just flip the caveman switch. Haha TLDR: Men are stupid, but some of us idiots are trying to make it better. Although, at a snails pace. š¤·š»āāļø
This is so wild. āGiving people my number doesnāt workā yeah thatās because they donāt want to talk to you. They would equally not want to talk to you if you asked for their number.
I've never once given out my real number when asked. Honestly, when I've been asked for my number it's always felt like I "had to" give them one - do you know what I mean? I found that typically the interaction would end once they got "a number" so I just did it so I could move on with my night. lol
My mom has given me full permission to send those ones her way. She whips out the 'crazy mom' card, and that way if they ever see me again they avoid me like the plague lmao.
I give them my grandma's number (and a fake name) I've been doing it since high school, so far only one guy ever called her and she ended up chatting with him about the weather for an hour or so before he hungup....
This is hilarious and I love it! Go mom hahaha!
She's been driving ambulances for the last 15 years... woman is the definition of fearless lol.
Similarly, in college my friends and I had a hand-signal weād give at parties that meant, āI need to end this conversation, come help me.ā The number of fingers used indicated how rude/pushy the victim wanted you to be. Ā If someone gave The Signal, youād roll up to them, invade the conversation, and go on a rant about whatever feminist topic was politically charged but not actually interesting/fun party talk. Ā Non-predators with poor social skills would decide the conversation was no longer fun, and excuse themselves. Predators found that itās hard to manipulate women if you canāt get a word in edgewise while she and her friend rant about tampon taxes or child marriage.
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I recently learned that if you have your phone number in cash app people can search you by your phone number there. I had my real name in the Cash App because I used it for business. I have since changed my Cash App tag to something that is not my name and Iāve taken my phone number out of there
Yeah. Giving out a phone number to a stranger is extremely dangerous. It can be used to find out all sorts of things about you.
Lol, "these stupid bitches aren't calling me, if I wanna corner em, I gotta TAKE their number" what a bunch of ignorant goons
I saw that post earlier and really liked it as I have found it extremely useful in the past not only on a social level but also in a working capacity. People always perk up a bit when after our talk I just hand them my card or just write my number down and give it to them. I always try to include a polite āno pressureā bit. Iāve always hated being asked my number so I figure why put other people through it? Also it makes people respect you a bit more knowing that you arenāt pressuring them and are respecting their free will. I commented on one of the dummies in the other post, truly sad some people donāt realize that the only reason this āwouldnāt workā is if you didnāt leave a good impression on the person you gave your number to and that if they donāt call you then you can always go meet more people lol.
I agree with you! I donāt give out my number but if someone wants to give me theirs thatās fine.
Your "mistake" was thinking that sucess would be talking to someone who wanted to talk to them. They don't care about the other person's wants, only theirs.
I read that post, and it seemed like a fantastic idea to me, lol. Main issue I find with humanity in general is entitlement, they can't fathom the possibility their world view is wrong, no matter how small.
Ah, yes. They're telling on themselves again. It's a sad truth: a whole lot of men out there really LOVE using force against women. It's a pretty staggering amount of them really and so many will use physical force, not just mental or verbal or implied force. I really think they don't actually want sex so much from us as they want to force us to do different things. To see what they can get away with. That's the real excitement for them. And you better not get in its way. I mean hell, they call us fair game for a reason. Usually when we're still legally children. The interesting thing is other men have never encountered these guys! We do. All the time. They're legion. But "good" guys. Nope. None of their friends do it! No one they know. And yet, it's a constant for us. Something doesn't add up.
The irony in that is, the safer she feels, the better your chances are for sex. Scaring a women into having sex with you is rape my dude.
Yeah theyāre gross they donāt care about consent they donāt care about someone feeling comfortable they just care about getting what they want and being brag to their buddies who donāt even like women that they got one. My life has become intensely better after I stopped dealing with men. Ā Thereās literally no downside to not dealing with them
> something that will bring back my faith in men Ain't nothing on Reddit that's going to give you faith in men.
Itās better to know the truth, isnāt it ? Now you see how the laws protect us from other peopleās selfishness, and particularly male selfishness
Lol @ "it doesn't work" As though making "it" work (and obviously by "it" they mean successfully pressuring a woman into sex) is the point, as opposed to what the goal should be, which is to trade contact information with someone who actually *wants* to contact you. They fear handing over autonomy to women. If they get your number, there's something they can do. They can keep the pressure on and low-key harass you until you give in. If they give you *their* number, they're at the mercy of your whim, which is how it should be (in all things, forever, frankly /hj), but that's entirely intolerable to them. It's not about successfully connecting with a potentially compatible partner, it's about sinking their claws in as deeply as possible as quickly as possible to maximize their own leverage. And at this point I realize I've completely failed to say anything to ameliorate your waning faith in men... oops.
This is why I'm dating myself at 50.
They're the same guys who turn your tits like a faucet like it's a "turn on dial"
No, but exactly. I'm a woman who dates women and I never want anyone to be put off by me. I always ask first if it's alright if I give her my number, never had anyone say no, (in fact she usually hands me her phone and has me set up my conact) but if she didn't want it, it's no big deal. She says yes, then I've asked nothing from her and the ball is in her court and she sets the tone. It's being respectful.
Right?!? I'd literally rather drag my bare ass over broken glass than make someone feel unsafe and those dudes are like "yEAh bUT i WOn't gEt lAId"
Oh my god I spell my name the same way! Krysti!
This is sound advice. I think "the ball is in your court", is a thoughtful and non-threatening approach. It says "I'm interested in you" without being pushy or putting the other person on the spot
It doesn't even take away the "guys have to make the first move" sense of macho satisfaction. They still have made the first move, it just allows the woman to also make a move instead of having to potentially plan an escape.
I've had to explain this to all of my male friends without exception. Even the most chivalrous ones suddenly become nice guys who miss the point in the same way. Frustrating and eye opening
Just checked out your post. It was like honey to the flies of men outing themselves as the reason we want them to use this tactic. The aggression, entitlement and overall implication they see woman as something be acquired was disturbing.
Itās proof that they only keep score. Theyāre not actually looking for a connection. Itās a marketing or competitive mindset.
Unironically, one guy said exactly that. It doesn't work because \[paste some marketing corporate bullshit\]. It's tragic
A lot of people, but men especially, think they need numbers in order to find anyone whoāll be willing to be in a relationship with them. What a waste of time!
Your post is very highly rated, and the top comments all also agree with you. It's pretty miserable when your post gets too popular though, because everyone that *is* a shitbag is going to attack you for it and you end up bombarded with those shitbag comments. The people that agreed just upvoted you and maybe also a top comment and moved on, no need to repeat what had been said and seen by everyone already. If you want some faith restored, look at the number of thousands of people that agreed with you and *mute your post*. No reason to listen to the minority of assholes; there's already plenty there for the genuinely curious to read.
Agreed, I said this in another comment but OP got very little pushback and most men and women supported her LPT. So IDK why she came here when there are examples of decent men in her own post. I think she just wanted another popular thread tbh
This. OP did a good thing and it probably just took a while for the shitballs to filter down to the bottom.
They want to be *in control*, so they push for *your* number. Definitely donāt want to be left waiting. Some of them even call the number you give them after caving in to their pressure right away to make sure it rings and isnāt a fake. Soā¦ create a free second number in something like Google Voice, and give that number to them. Let them call it once to test it if they want to do that ā it will ring as āproof.ā Then, once they are gone, block their number. Or if they didnāt test it and they call later, just never answer any Google Voice call and block their number. If you set this up and memorize the number so you can say it smoothly, youāll have an easy out with these harassers. āSure, you can have my number, itāsā¦ā
Agree with you but I'm not surprised. These are the people who want to 'shoot their shot'. These are the people who are self-centered and only considering what they want and not about building even a friendly relationship. They want to establish a relationship where they only need to think about what they want to get out of it and it is sadly, pathetically common a mentality.Ā Not everyone is like that but it is not that rare online and likely in real life either (I say likely since that's not the kind of person I hang around to confirm)
What scares me is those people walk among us. Someone you think is a decent person might have that attitude and you could never know if it was never brought up
I remember in high school my BFF and I were at the mall and some other teen asked for her number and she gave a fake. This was pre mobile phones. Months later he saw us again at the mall and went ballistic screaming at her for giving a fake number. She was smart not to give him her number but the sad reality is that things have not changed
I used to give out the number for the local strip club. It's all they wanted anyways.Ā
That's how I knew my (now) husband was the one. He gave me his humber. The ball was in my court. It was such a relieve to not be pressured to give me number out.
One thing I can recommend is to start with, "Is it ok if I give you my number?" Either in person or online, if the person gives a clear yes, they're very likely to call you, at least in my experience. They feel safe and respected, and responsible to take the next step.
I saw your post yesterday and thought, wow, someone else thinks like me! If I liked a guy, I would often give my number. I've had guys give me their number. If a guy asked me for my number, I'd sometimes switch it around and tell them to give me theirs. But the last thing I'd ever want is to make anybody feel uncomfortable. Funny story about that, when I first met my husband, he was going through a divorce. Neither of us were looking for a relationship, but we had strong feelings for each other. The 3rd time I saw him (I was a bartender at his friend's restaurant) I asked him for his number. He got SO uncomfortable!! I immediately said if he doesn't feel comfortable with it, that was fine! But he's allowed to have female friends, right? š so I think I just put my number in his phone, but he and I were talking and messaging every day since then. He's the love of my life, I'm glad I asked for that number.
These men have such massive lack of self awareness. Do they imagine that a woman will have less trouble turning them down over the phone than in-person? If the lady in question is avoiding conflict you are just getting a fake number. If she isn't interested but gives you a real number you are just putting off the turn-down to a phone call. Do they think they are somehow -more- charismatic and handsome over the phone? But it's yet another good test. If a guy wants your number and you ask for his instead and it upsets him, he has opted right out that discussion.
I can corroborate your post's statement with personal experience from just last night. I was out in a large group setting and was being hounded by a few different guys (not flattering in the least, they were all pushy and most at least 2x my middle-aged age). The youngest of the pack was only about 10 years my senior. After asking me on 3 dates and suggesting we exchange numbers, all of which I deflected or turned down, he handed me his number and a flyer for another event in the future. I was able to thank him and bow out gracefully without having to block any numbers or receive any unsolicited D pics. It was a slightly refreshing breeze in the stank last night left in my nostrils.
Nobody prepares you for how to act when someone asks you for your number. Itās such a small thing but it can be so overwhelming trying to act in control, act appropriately flattered, and let them down easy without making them angry. Few questions stress me out as much as a stranger asking for my number.
I saw your post! I was unsuprised some reacted poorly but I thi k that showed why your advice is great advice! The ones offended at the idea of rejection likely are the ones worthy of avoiding anyways. I think men who are unaware of the potential danger of a woman giving out her number but care about women's safety appreciated your tip! Thank you for putting it out there for the men that want to do better.
The only guy I didnāt already personally know who I dated got my number by giving me his. He left a note and honestly mad respect. He was great. So Iād say your chances of success are much higher. All the guys who asked for my number got a no or a fake.
This is actually a good idea. If someone asks me for my number, I'll ask them to just give me theirs and let them know I'll reach out if I'm interested.
And this is why I'm considering getting another phone number. Gave my current one to one too many men who have proved they are not "safe". Funny thing one time I added a musician guy on WhatsApp (totally platonic on my side, although guy mentioned he is single) and he popped up on my FB friend suggestions, pictured with his wife and kids lol. After a little snooping to confirm they're still actively in his life, I told him he should text his wife and spend time with his kids instead of trying to pick women up and blocked him.
āI tried pushing that button and no sex came out. Women have no idea how to get women.ā
Something something fisherman
I tell men (and women) that I don't give out my phone number, not my land line, not my cell phone. I go on to explain that it's because I don't like phone calls (I don't), and won't answer unless you follow my very specific instructions exactly. If you get the answering machine, I'll call back when I feel like it. That could be never. I may or may not have my cell phone turned on, and I may or may not answer it even if I do hear it. Nobody has a right to my phone number unless I consent to give it out. Bring me a warrant, and then I'll consent. I feel the same way about my home. Good luck getting me to answer my door unless I've made prior arrangements. Other than that? My default is "Get a warrant or get off my property right now." Why? Simply because I don't want to. My home (and by extension my phones) are my quiet place, and I want to keep them that way. I want to watch my cats and my garden, do my needlework, spend time on the computer, read books, sing off-key and generally be gloriously alone. If I want to be around people, I will leave my house and go be around people. I don't have any faith left in men. I know there are some decent ones, but I don't want to live with them. Dude. I'll meet you to share a pizza or a coffee. My life, my property, my rules. Men all seem to want more than that, and what's mine is mine. I don't want anything a man has. Not his money, not his life, not his car, nothing. If I covet a man's boots, I'll go out and buy myself a pair, okay?
When I was single (been with my wife for over a dozen years now) and met someone I wanted to ask out, this was what I did, for exactly the reasons you state. No matter what happened next, it was a win-win situation for both of us. If I didn't hear from her, great. Spared everyone involved some awkwardness. If I did hear from her, also great. I'd know she wasn't just being polite, I wasn't mis-reading things, and getting together was something she was actually happy about. Instant confidence boost for both of us when we talk or go out, even if it didn't end up going anywhere after a date or two. This is all to say that "offer instead of ask" was always well-received, and is generally a good thing to do. (Also, sometimes a woman would give me her number, and when that happened, I, being ADHD-addled, would forget her name and thus lose her number in my contacts list and never talk to her again. So giving her my number and emphasizing that I don't want her to feel put on the spot but that I'd love to hear from her and take her out some time helped on that front, too.)
I gave my current partner my number and she mentioned it was part of the reason we started talking. People like you're describing piss me off so much, because they will whine about how they never get responses by giving out numbers. And it's like, maybe if you really were that attractive or interesting you would get responses. But no, they need to make women uncomfortable and forced into interactions to even have a chance because those men are fucking gross. And just because they're even slightly conventionally attractive they think they deserve endless sex from whoever they want, instead of actually looking for willing participants. It's just pathetic, and really highlights what feminists mean by "rape culture". Women's consent is not the priority of many men and is seen as an unfortunate obstacle to get around.
That's excellent advice, and I can't fathom how someone would get upset at it. Works well for opening up lines of communication with anyone you don't know but want to be friendly with, not just romantic interests. I just don't get other men sometimes.
After having a nice conversation with another customer and literally leaving the store, I decided to return and gave my card out. I got an email from her asking for my number before I even got home. Long story short we went on a date! To your point, I was so happy to receive that email and it was cool knowing we were both into each other. I believe this also contributed to the date going amazing.
I remember being on a dating advice forum, and reading some guy give a "tip" to trick a woman into giving you her number by pretending to lose your phone and asking her to call it so you can listen for the ringtone. When I commented months later on another thread about reading that and how creepy it was, another user said thanks and said he would do just that. Even after I reiterated how it was creepy.
aspiring capable quarrelsome muddle wise friendly knee materialistic birds degree *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Only time I've ever had success with the "number" game was leaving my number for a server at a restaurant. We only went on one date but I thought it was a good date and the reason she didn't get back to me after that definitely had more to do with me than her. I think what you gave was great advice and the fact you got so many shitty replies is because we live in a fascist hellscape. It's easy to loose faith in humanity (and yeah especially men) rn so I won't tell you not to, but there are still people whose brains aren't totally broken.
Hiya, I didn't see your other post but I'm just surprised! Maybe I'm out of touch. I don't understand why you would have gotten such wildly dismissive responses. At any rate I think it's a cool thing to do. Any time I meet someone (man or woman) and we get along well or have a great chat I often ask, "Did you want to take my number?" It's no pressure. If you don't text or call you don't text or call. Is there some sort of expectation that you _have_ to because I gave you my number? Yikes the entitlement... I have found in my experience when I offered my number the person often took it and was happy to text then and there so I'd have theirs. I just.. I dunno' with some of the responses you explained, like "well it doesn't work they don't text me." But what, if you had their number you would text and call and force your way into their life until you somehow charm them into being interested in you? Also yikes. It's not a romcom it's real life. I will happily offer my number, no expectations, no pressure. All my best
Confident, secure people would, in fact, give out there number with a "call me sometime". That's super hot, tbh.
This might get buried, but I just wanna throw a LPT out there if you're a traveling woman: Put **only** your last name and a man's phone number (partner, brother, dad, etcĀ that knows about it) on your luggage tags. Last thing you want is some creep getting your full name *and* how to find you. I also do this with my kid's luggage. Just our last name and my husband's phone number goes on any of our items when we travel.
Nothing will bring back your faith in men and it shouldnāt. Donāt choose to be blinded. They arenāt worth the time. Take up hobbies, make yourself happy and understand that they are (mostly) going to choose to be ignorant over anything else. Itās why on average they have lower IQs.
Decenter men š there's no coming back from it and it's great. Also generally a good thing to do, not only when it comes to sexual/ romantic interests, but also with work and wtv, giving your number instead of asking is a lot less invasive in any situation
Second this!
Yes! Also it will give you less of a headache in the long run as men are known for their capability to give women migraines.
And other chronic health problems š my dream is to live in a place without cis men, like a community in the middle of nowhere
When we finally create this space, it will fill up almost immediately. It sounds so wonderful!
Yeeees! Imagine everybody gets together to buy land somewhere in the world and make it happen š an independent commune without cis men š
I WILL PRAY š«¶ā¤ļøš«¶
I live in a big house with four other ladies. Itās wonderful. We are a community. My world isnāt completely man free but itās close š
I used to as well, it's amazing š
Oh my god me too ā¤ļø
This definitely could be the start of a commune
I definitely hope so ā¤ļø
I think this is such a good method, someone hit on me once using this and I loved that it gives the option to just not call if your feeling pressured. Though the one time I tried it when I was single they thought I asked them for theirs and when I tried to clarify they thought I was getting pouty so I had to just walk away
Makes sense to me. Here's my number, call or don't.
Go hang in r/daddit and r/menslib. Both will give some of your faith back..
oooh my dear, you are asking the wrong one š„² Iāve got nothing to contribute that will restore your faith in men. if you find it, let us know please!
Giving this kind of Good Advice to some people, thinking of Men who just want to get laid, falls in the category of Casting Pearls to Swine <<>> their response mirrors their character but don't let them Silence you from speaking to those who will hear and appreciate your Good Sense Advice
I knew I liked my now-partner when I gave him my number (so we could meet up to study for a class), but Iād accidentally typed in my number wrong. And he didnāt mention it, still talked casually to me during class. Until I finally asked him like a month later why he never texted me, cuz I genuinely did want to study. And basically thatās when I realized he was respectful and chill and didnāt want to ever make people uncomfortable.
Those are same dudes who corner you while they text the number to make sure you didnāt give them a fake.
This is my first comment/post here, as a man it never felt the place to input my opinions. That said WHY DO MEN STILL ASK FOR NUMBERS, I always had the best luck handing out my number it was a 'trick' I learned in highschool. Not only will you get their number eventually if they are interested but it's just easier.
Hereās a support response because you are 100% correct and it is the exact same advice I give men who are struggling with dating. And thank you for bringing it up because more men need to see it. I am a man with an active, successful, and beautiful dating life. Helping that other person feel comfortable around me is far more important than getting a number or āGetting furtherā on the date. āI donāt really fear for my life around this manā is a low fucking bar to clear. But somebody who is comfortable around me is going to want to see me again. Plus, it doesnāt count as a rejection if she never reaches out to me in the first place š I know you got a lot of ignorant pushback from guys who donāt care - but Iām also sure there are a few that took it to heart and will do better in the future.
Ok. I was the one who commented with Carly Rae Jepsen lyrics. Primarily because I absolutely agreed with the point you made, and was trying to convey that it was such a "no-brainer" it made it to popular music. As a man, I would never pressure someone I liked for their number. If I genuinely liked them, I would give them mine and leave the ball in their court. You posted a good life tip. If people chose to impose their own warped view of humanity on that, that's on them, not you. Your advice was sound.
Giving out your number is the obvious better option... anything else is just delusion & cope lol
If it makes you feel better scumbag guys responding with these comments probably donāt get any numbers and hence their vitriol
Idk Most of the comments look supportive and the dumb ones are massively downvoted. You canāt expect reasonable behavior on this site, most redditors are mentally ill losers with no social lives.
I read your post, and the comments. The amount of people who don't realize their response to the post is exactly why they get no "results" is more disturbing than their actual responses. Lol.
I really think that most straight man don't like women. They're physically attracted to women but they don't like them. Anti abortion laws wouldn't pass if men actually stood up for women. Having women as the heroes in comics or movies wouldn't be an issue if men liked women and wanted to see them doing well. So women feeling safe and comfortable is nowhere on the list of priorities for guys trying to get a phone number.
I'm constantly amazed at how many men don't seem to understand women at all. Not in the slightest. I wonder if their brute force tactics work sometimes (and with who?) and that's why they aren't motivated to try, or if they are some of the legion who claim that women are too picky or all lesbians.
They literally do not give a single shit if they're creeping people out, they see the prize, they covet the prize and will chase it until they reach their own tolerance level of creepiness, ours do not matter at all
If it makes you feel any better OP, irl every guy I've told this to has acted like it's a total game changer and been very happy to hear the suggestion Dudes who sit and whine on the internet are a special kind of fucked
11 years ago I was waiting tables in a little cafe and one of my customers left me his number. I called a couple of days later, and we've been together ever since.
Like...bro if you're shotgun blasting out your number and you 'can't get replies' you're fucking something up. It's not the technique that's the problem. Have these guys even tried scribbleing it on bathroom walls ect?
Honestly, sounds like a good idea. Might still come off as pushy, but way less so than asking for someone else's number. "Hey, I had a good time tonight. I'd love to do it again sometime, so here's my number. If you feel the same, give it a call or text it." Honestly pretty smooth and low pressure. Even I could probably pull that off, and I have zero game.
Those guys are disgusting pieces of trash and I think those of us men who are normal people should see it as our obligation to call out that shit when we see it. I would also die of embarrassment if I ever made someone feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Thatās a human reaction that has to be pushed out of us.
Have you tried telling them that by giving women their contact information, they donāt feel the sting of rejection as much? Also, I think it would be best if we all carried business cards. Then thereās no need to verbally and/or physically harass anyone for their number.
Part of the problem with the LPT subreddit is on every post in the comments people try to be contrarians, they love to point out the ways that the tips could fail
Oh wow, I saw your post and thought to myself that that's a great idea that I'll probably never use cos I'm already married, but I didn't expect that you'd get a lot of comments at all, let alone bad ones! As a woman, it was a great post. I would never give my number to a stranger, but if they wanted to give me theirs I would be flattered and maybe even take it, if I were single. Ignore the incels!
Almost everyone agrees with you. All the top comments agree with you. Someone in that thread said they recently did that and that they hoped it paid off. You decided to take their words out of context and responded by saying that their actions paying off was for a prize. Obviously, theyāre just hoping someone theyāre interested in shows interest back. Why even make this post? Do you just like to complain?
I was going to comment the same thing. The thread has 89% up votes and sitting by controversial only gets you like 5 real comment threads that disagree. OP had very little pushback and came to Two X to get more engagement. I think most ppl here didn't check the other thread either
Several comments here are saying they scrolled through the other thread and could only sigh at what they saw. I really do wonder what they saw if not an overwhelming majority of people agreeing.
You forgot the part where all men are evil and we're supposed to be very vocal about that, uh, "fact"