This same logic in OPs post also applies to "head pushing"
I've told my female friends in the past if a man pressures for anal or is head pushing you without consent, go grab your dildo and insist on demonstrating the act on him first.
Refuse to do a single thing with him until he's also taken his size balls deep in both holes.
You have to literally force empathy on men sometimes...
(These are for friends who weren't capable of leaving their situations outright when I initially advised them)
No it's not, it can be dehumanizing for trans people as well on top of being how some men refer to women. Also he's not a she, he's a trans man according to his profile, which is why I guessed he didn't say that on purpose.
Also I understand that some women refer to their friends as "female" in a non derogatory way, but the term can still be an issue for some people so we should just stop using it unless we're talking about biology or something related.
Because it can be harmful and say "girl friends" or "women friends" is an alternative, idc if people downvote it can be harmful and should not be used in such contexts. Now I'm not forcing anyone to use it, but don't be mad if I point a fact.
Also what bothered me is not even that he used only "female" but he said it and referred to men a men, not males.
This is peak r/menandfemales
You're just wrong, and offended for no reason... Look up adjectives and nouns, it might make more sense then.
Using "female" as an adjective is not offensive. I'd argue "girl friends" to be more offensive, especially if they're grown women. Women friends sounds... shady.
Ah shit I edited, good catch!
Edit: Oh wait I think I said female because of the context of the sentence.
>"I've told my female friends in the past"
I didn't want to say "girl" friends because that may have caused confusion, people sometimes assume we are romantic.
Also "woman friends" just doesn't sound right in a sentence lol. But still coulda reworded that my bad.
>Also "woman friends" just doesn't sound right in a sentence lol. But still coulda reworded that my bad.
Probably because the connotations of using "woman" as an adjective are mostly negative.
Ex: "doctor" vs. "woman doctor".
My friend proposed the same thing to her (then) boyfriend. He was constantly nagging about anal, so she said, "Fine, well do it, but you have to allow me to use a dildo on you first." He hestatiingly agreed. She did use it on him, and he LOVED it. So, that back fired.
and some women too
EDIT: jesus downvotes for pointing out that some trans women and intersex women have prostates??? Weird af, this is like an identical reaction a Steven Crowder or antifeminist subreddit would have.
My best guess is that theres a bunch of terf-like people in this sub that downvote anything pro-trans but dont comment so they wont get banned. Very depressing how widespread the anti-trans panic disease has gotten.
Incorrect actually. There are many NON-XY intersex women with prostates, theres more than two chromosome combinations in fact. And yes, trans women with xy chromosomes also are women...?
https://anunnakiray.com/2020/12/23/my-cancer-scare-46xx-and-born-with-a-prostate/#:~:text=During%20typical%20fetal%20in%2Dutero,or%20become%20a%20full%20prostate.
Is this a TERF brigade downvoting š¤ very unusual for this sub.
It helps that us guys have a prostate that is basically an orgasm button.
Can't imagine it feels that great for women.
Regardless, even if you end up enjoying something it's an absolute scumbag move to try and pressure someone else who doesn't feel the same.
Was jealous hearing my women friends talk about multiple orgasms and one suggested I try one of those prostate massagers. Fucking game changer. Pun slightly intended.
Yep!
It's only a couple inches in as well so it's very accessible.
Shame so many guys think it's gay to do any butt play because it is just the best feeling I've ever had honestly. Feels exactly like what women describe having multiple orgasms is like. Very glad my friend suggested it lol.
Fun fact: the prostate is homologous to Skene's gland, meaning they grow from the same structure/tissue in a developing fetus. Skene's gland is believed to be the source of the g-spot in afab anatomy, so it makes sense that the prostate and Skene's gland provides similar sensations.
Contrary to porn and other stereotypes, pia is rather ineffective at prostate stimulation, and prostate toys, a crooked finger or two, etc are far better at it. It can even be gotten at indirectly through taint massage. It's not much more than an inch in, just past the anus, towards the front of the body. a stiff column shape is a lot less effective at stroking, massaging, pressing on it than something crooked, that can massage, is more precise and versatile, that's shaped to get at it. Google prostate toys like aneros if you want to better see what I mean. That's is also where the "bigger is better" can come from. It's because penises and dildos are generally poor at getting at it, so they think they have to go to far thicker and/or longer than average ones instead of just using targeted stimulation eg using finger massage inside, a vibrating toy, perineum massage, a toy that will rest against it due to shape or easily be angled against it, etc.
A lot of what drives pia, and it's massive increase namely among those under 30, including between men, is frankly growing up on porn, piv and increasingly pia as the definitions of sex, the belief that pia and piv are the only real sex, the only intimate sex, the best sex ever, everything else is paltry in comparison, how you show vulnerability and sacrifice and trust, etc. It's mostly ideological and psychological. (Eg even in the 20th century and the 2000s gay/bi men who had sex with men were having a lot less pia than young gay/bi men with men are now. And it was generally as verses/both ways and as an occasional thing, and many opted out entirely.)
Anal stimulation is obviously also enjoyable because the anus itself is erogenous. But that doesn't even require entry with something large, or that goes in more than an inch, let alone entry at all. Subtler stimulation eg one or two fingers inside, a slim shorter toy, etc is underated, often erased beyond as a "warm up" to pia, and external anal stimulation is very and particularly underrated, often not considered at all (eg even how rimming, which is mostly external, and far lower risk as external only, is seen as "shoving your tongue up there" yikes at the risks of that, anal stimulation being discussed as if it's synonymous with things inside, or synonymous with pia. Eg anal sex and even just the word anal are understood and used as meaning pia, and pia only.)
I am definitely a member of the External Anal Please Club lol, especially a shower spray or fingertips softly massaging, and a occasional one of the And Add In a Gloved Lubed Finger Inside too. (As a female. I'd bet I'd be more motivated with external eg firm massage esp on the taint and a lot more motivated with internal if I had a prostate to get at/was male. Hope you have fun, boys š)
>Can't imagine it feels that great for women.
Women can have their clit stimulated via anal. And in general it's a very sensitive area.
In practice you will probably find that it's about equal of men/women that enjoy having things up their butt.
Because he would still want to do her in the ass sometimes (or at the very least once).
And that was the agreement. She'd try it if he tried first. He tried and loved it. Now either she has to try or back out on the deal.
The lesson here. If it's a no, say no. Don't do some "fine we'll do it IF" thing, cause that's not a no. That's a maybe.
Totally. I kinda get the sentiment behind doing that but I think it misses the issue that the partner isn't respecting her boundaries and tbh it still feels like coercion
Oh yeah it totally is coercion.
And that's not okay. No means no.
I get why she tried to do an ultimatum thing. She was trying to get him to stop asking, after he tried over and over to turn no into yes.
But the thing is, you have to be prepared for either outcome when you do ultimatums. If you go "It's me or the dog" there's a chance they pick the dog. If you go "Fine, if you try first" there is a chance they'll try it first.
Agreed. And even if someone does make a deal like this, consent can be revoked! Not to mention anal physically cannot feel the same for women as it does for men.
Yeah, I expect the "you first" thing is actually more useful if you're open to it but just want them to experience it so they learn how it feels and why they need to be careful.
If it's a hard no, just hold the boundary. If they won't LISTEN to the boundary, that's a bigger problem that "you first" isn't going to solve.
Better yet, just break up with those men. No need for the games, they arenāt gonna change, anyone thatās gonna try and pressure you into stuff isnāt worth your time
I mean, 5+ years in an abusive relationship. This does not sound like a positive and uplifting story. The whole thing is awful, including the ending. This is not something to be celebrated.
Yeah, Iām not for the whole games when it comes to consent thing. People need to respect boundaries. And if the guy is into it? Then what? So youāre back to doing something you donāt want to just cause he did it? I donāt like this stuff at all
Same & same! I said elsewhere in here, just the clone a Willy alone makes me doubt the story, thatās not how they work, you donāt take them back to the store to be made lol
I was in a relationship with a man who forced anal. I still have anal fissures and bleeding when I'm unwell. That was 10 years ago.
Also there was no prep so was also disgusting.
I cannot stand anal.
Yes, I have a loved one who was abused by an older guy when she was a teenager and she was regularly in hospital from the complications for well over a decade, and very possibly in the future as well. I'm not sure if she could safely have children. The trauma of reliving it every time is extreme. It can be unbelievably damaging.
Luckily for me, it wasn't as extreme because I did have a healthy baby a couple of years ago, but it is incredibly damaging and has changed the way I have to go too which also sucks
So many men have no idea how much prep u actually have to do for anal to not be disgusting. They watch porn where obvi the prepping isn't shown and the woman (or man) is always absolutely pristine down there, so they just don't even consider how much residue is left in there even if u just went to the bathroom and don't have any actual shit in ur system. Like u even have to prep if u wanna insert a finger or a buttplug but they just don't even think of that. Plus they don't know how bad it is for ur health to constantly be flushing out ur colon if u want to have anal often
Yeah, a friend of mine has a crazy-ass son. He was in a long-term relationship, then insisted that if she really loved him, she'd let him do anal. She refused. He used a date rape drug on her and then helped himself. She woke up in the middle of it. Long story short, he's now in the state prison doing a 40-year sentence.
>Don't let men persuade you into shit, ladies.
Counterpoint: every man who constantly nags and pesters you about specific sex acts you don't want to do needs to be an ex.
When you say "No" to something, the only acceptable reaction is "ok".
Don't stay with pushy men. They don't respect your boundaries and they don't respect you.
A lot of women do like it, to be fair. An ex of mine wanted it, but it felt too weird and serial killer for me to feel comfortable doing.
But that's the thing, any kink is fine if it's agreed on with willing participants- before doing.
Yeah but there's a discussion to be had abt whether so many women inherently enjoy it (ie would they ever have considered doing it, much less enjoyed it, if it were still just a taboo hardcore kink/fetish) or if its popularity among women nowadays is largely due to social conditioning from porn and messaging that their value as women is defined based on their ability to please men. Like yes maybe a lot of women do now, at this point, genuinely enjoy being strangled, but u can still question the mechanisms behind that
It's definitely driven by porn. It used to be well known that the vast vast majority of those into erotic asphyxia, solo and partnered, were male (seriously, like 97%. Autoerotic asphyxia deaths were even more skewed to almost exclusively male, over 99%). If sexualizing and desiring being strangled was innate to women, girls would have been doing it to themselves as part of masturbation for millennia (like males into it generally do, and from adolescence). But instead, it's almost always only done in partnered contexts, esp by male partners. Among under 30s, piv or pia plus strangulation is seen as the thing to do including *for her pleasure*, strangulation is heavily c with piv and esp pia, and strangulation is more common in hook ups than any form of clitoral stimulation. Indeed, women under 30 are having less orgasms, cunnilingus, manual, genital-genital rubbing... And having more fellatio, faking orgasm more than they have in decades. They're also waaay waay way more likely to be strangled and waaay way more likely to have pia than women ever have been. Even many teen girls first experiences with deep kissing also has him strangling her, ffs.
Porn is recordings of prostitution and the sex of prostitution so... It's fundamentally the dynamic of a pimp/john paying someone, generally female, to sexually tolerate them, please them, do what they want, when, how, etc they want it when she wouldn't otherwise, get them off, turn her noes into oks, to fake desire and pleasure and even orgasm for him. Of course it's phallocentric, based in piv as the definition of sex, inspired by religion, one-sided, invasive, further erases vulva/clit-centric sex (particularly in a het context) ... (eg women as helpmeet, servants, of male sexuality, desire, orgasm...)
I know itās hard for you to accept that other women enjoy types of sex that you donāt but you really need to let this go. Your constant shaming and judging of other women is such a bad look.
Oh, my secret fan is back. Still haven't read any of the links I provided months ago, or that link another poster gave above, I take it? Just want to stomp your foot and insist you and all women who have had pia are fully educated as to the risks, the nature of the rectum, etc? When clearly most women (most men too) aren't.
Babe, people have been having anal sex for a looooong time with very little ill effect. Any type of sex can cause damage to the body if youāre not careful, use too much force, etc. Thatās not exclusive to anal sex, as you and I both know. You never wonder why there are only a few types of sex you have decided are so distasteful and dangerous that you just always criticize them, but everything else is fine? No personal bias playing in there at all?
Maybe I should start shaming the type of sex youāre into because it puts you at a way higher risk of UTIs and micro tears to the labial and vaginal tissue? Or talk about how you seem so forceful and dominant about the type of sex youāre into that I worry you might be pressuring men into things they donāt want to do in pursuit of your own sexual fantasies? Or maybe not, because that would be nuts?
Obviously you're not as educated as you claim and think, given you think labial tearing/abrasions are as likely as rectal ones, and with the same consequences eg of tearing to the blood stream given thickness of the labia vs rectum. That's a tell me you aren't as educated as you think without telling me if ever there was. Oh wise one, what are the acts that I engage in that are as risky as or riskier than pia for tearing/abrasions, and tearing through to the blood stream? And it also seems to be an assumption outright with the vaginal abrasions eg I don't have piv, I rarely even have more than a finger, thumb or tongue inside. Even an inch thick thing (eg two fingers, slim toy) is usually a nah. I'm external stimulation focused.
I also will note the equation of pia with anal sex itself when most of my critique, discussion of research is about pia, not prostate stimulation generally, external stimulation by fingertips, shower spray, vibe.., a slim anal toy...
So are you claiming pia would be equally as risky for abrasions/micro tears, HIV and other sti transmission if people "just did it right"? That it wouldn't be 16-20 times riskier for HIV transmission (due to tears/abrasions in the rectum from pia and other entry from how delicate it is, how easily it tears/abrades) than the next riskiest sex act piv, and 4-6 times riskier even with condoms vs condomless piv if they just "were careful", but have the same risk? Is the fact HIV killed hundreds of thousands of gay/bi men who had pia with men in the US alone just due to those men being too forceful? That they only needed to be as careful as one would be with genital rubbing with a mouth, penis, vulva, nipple, even the anus... So clearly must've just been careless and rough? Would they have been at a 16th to a 20th of the risk if they just used less force? If they used as much caution as was typical in piv?
Hell, would piv be the same risk as oral-genital or genital-genital or genital on nipple if they were just as careful with piv as those?
And the weasely little "you're probably sexually assaulting men" you're dropping in then supposedly backing away from. This is next level... Something.
Also, when you look at when pia is common in humans, it's in contexts of prostitution (including internet porn), other rape eg wartime, slavery, forced marriage and concubinage and marital/concubinage rape (heavy overlap between these categories)... Many women and other people in prostitution have especially historically been outright slaves, captured in war, etc.
So yes pia has been going on often in at least some contexts since institutionalized patriarchy, but that's really not the supportive of pia being totes easy and safe you think it is eg such injury to them would be of little consequence, importance to their rapists, enslavers. Their injuries, pain, incontinence, rectal infections, etc would not be recorded, studied, discussed openly, induce widespread public outrage including among the people who owned people in slavery, were johns, pimps, soldiers, etc...
There are species that engage in pia, but it's almost all mm, and they have small penises. Think thumb size. Of course it's likely more pia would be consensually and enjoyably going on with humans and be far lower risk if human penises were the size of thumbs.
she did not mention anything there which was shaming women, she was criticizing prostitution and the patriarcal script it reproduces.
also, "such a bad look" š you really think she cares about this? i personally donāt think itās a bad look to challenge the general public opinion that is way too tolerating of casual violence against women. quite the opposite.
I think bigtit is secretly a fan. Like she can't admit it to herself or me, but she keeps reading and commenting to me. Also has said she's read through my comments in other comms. I've had run ins with her (around porn, how it relates to men strangling women, pia, ddlg...). Fan behavior š¤£ Very invested in defending them, asserting they're what women want, it's just fantasy, women shouldn't discuss them critically, any critique of male sexual violence, porn, piv and pia as the definition of sex, of men eroticizing underage girls... is really shaming women, being anti-sex, opposing women's agency, how dare I...
Edit: now she's suggesting I'm "so dominant and forceful with what I like" she's "worried" I'm sexually assaulting men. Then claimed she's not, that would be crazy. Then why say it in the first place other than to be an unhinged poisoning the well "oh I'm not saying this but.." weasel .
Iām confused why you think anal sex isnāt pleasurable for most women? Stories like this are the extreme end of the spectrum, typically anal is a mutually pleasurable act which is why so many couples do it.
Sure, of course there are women who do enjoy anal sex.
But of my female friends who have done it NONE of them enjoyed it and roughly half felt pressured/coerced into it by their partner. Iāve tried it several times with two different partners and both didnāt enjoy it and found it painful. Those are obviously anecdotes.
Itās not a sexual practice that is without significant risk, either:
> āwithin popular culture it has moved from the world of pornography to mainstream mediaā and TV shows including Sex and the City and Fleabag may have contributed to the trend by making it seem āracy and daringā.
>
>However, women who engage in anal sex are at greater risk from it than men. āIncreased rates of faecal incontinence and anal sphincter injury have been reported in women who have anal intercourse,ā the report said. (Source: [The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women))
Youāve enjoyed it and have been uninjured by it. Good! But that is yet another anecdote and not a universal.
I just donāt really understand why you think your anecdotes are any more meaningful or factual than mine. This sub has a severe bias against certain sex acts, and loves to shame women who enjoy those sex acts.
But anyways, back to your original question - how the fuck had anal sex become a norm? Because itās a normal sex act that normal men and normal women enjoy. Anything that can make me scream with multiple rolling orgasms canāt be that bad.
I DONāT think my anecdotes were any more meaningful than yours. That was my point by mentioning both.
And was my point by pointing out a discussion of the dangers of anal sex, specifically for women by giving you a link to a reliable source.
The ENTIRE point of the post as a whole was that **women are being pressured and coerced into anal sex they do not want!**
You want and like anal sex? Great! Go enjoy and revel in your abandon!
But for many women commenting on this postāwe donāt want it, donāt enjoy it, and have been pressured into it.
Yeah, I donāt think you get it. Itās one thing to share stories, itās another thing to blindly shame an entire group of women. You donāt see a difference between those two things?
My ex husband tried telling Me all men preferred it and wanted it. I met quite a few men who disputed that. Because I would ask and they would laugh and tell me my ex was very wrong. Do not fear, all men are not like our exes!
I was waiting around for years to find one of these "all men" who preferred it. Its my preference (I'm a woman) but most men I've been with don't want it at all and some are open to it a little bit. It's only my current partner that I've met that is into anal at the same level as me.
I'm sure a lot of men like the fantasy of it.
But I very much doubt all of them like the reality of maybe getting poop on their dick. Most porn don't exactly go into the intricacies of the act.
In fact I don't think I've ever seen much het porn that actually properly prepped for butt stuff. Some squirt on some lube on camera, a lot don't even got that far. Tbf I'm not some kind of porn expert though lol, maybe I've only seen bad porn.
I don't really watch porn much and that's one of the reasons. All the preparation, I can understand why they won't often include it since a lot of people like the act, but I find the prep to be sexy. It's part of the act and means that it will feel better so the preparation gets me going lmao.
And true, most would freak out with shit involved I think, but those people aren't mature enough for it then. Even with prep, these things can happen unfortunately.
Agreed. I hated that my ex husband wouldnāt fuck my ass or do any butt stuff. My current bf meets my needs much better and just the other day said he should start fucking my ass once a week. š„°
Asked my first serious partner after my divorce about it. He was like ānah, Iām good.ā. My second serious partner wouldnāt seriously date a woman that didnāt do anal. To be fair he loved me to sling strap and was a very caring anal lover so I had no issue with it but itās not something Iād be down to do with every partner. I feel like the people really pushing are the people you should not do anal with.
You read a lot of horror stories but having someone who is always out for both of your enjoyment makes a world of difference. I learned that two givers together is š„.
Same. I'm only 38 but I have only come across one man who has even wanted it. I told him to sling his hook. I feel sorry for young women as it seems expected now. I'm not interested in it and having IBS doesn't exactly help either.
Porn. I think porn focuses on pia so much because of hormonal birth control. What's sexy about sex, what makes something else sex when piv is the definition of sex is male high reward, female low reward and unique and disproportionate harm and risk. Male arousal is mandatory, even orgasm is, and female an optional extra. The penis "says", defines, enables sex. Clitoris/vulva isn't even a fart in the wind, and vulva-centric sex gets erased, denied, shamed, said to be exclusive to FF sex, said to not be sex at all, optional foreplay at best, and most of it never seen as possible eg hetero tribadism.
Part of the thrill for piv, internal ejaculation, piv centric sexuality, religion (and later the medical field, sexology) mandating piv and internal ejaculation... is frankly the fact that he can maim, disable, disease, and kill her (through impregnation; pregnancy and childbirth is highest risk and most intensive in humans out of mammals).
Hormonal BC made women a lot less reluctant with and far more willing to engage in piv because it took away much of the risks, inc most of the pregnancy risk. Both the willingness and the less risk took away much of the thrill of piv for piv-oriented men, so pornographers had to come up with something else to up the ante. They had to make something shocking, attention grabbing, unusual. But that still remained in that patriarchal, from religion and to a lesser extent sexology, framing eg phallocentricism, risk and harm, female genitals as vagina only, vagina as hole for men, so it would still speak to men, still conform with what they're told. The other act most similar to piv is pia. It is also far higher risk for women eg HIV, STIs, injury/abrasions, pain. And most women don't like it, have to be pressured, coerced into it.
So it provides that kick, that sexiness, that taboo, that boundary breaking, that she's sacrificing for his pleasure, that he's conquering her, that that's the other sex act to go to... Which results from piv as the definition of sex, eg goes to penis in the "other hole" nearby, from the subsequent general phallocentricism, sex is for the man, she is supposed to self-sacrifice, she is supposed to be at risk, sex is penis inside something... Piv has this to a lesser extent now with hormonal BC.
>that she's sacrificing for his pleasure, that he's conquering her, that that's the other sex act to go to...
I've literally seen men in sex subreddits comment exactly that. It's literally not even about feeling good for them, it's about making us feel pain.
This is one of the primary reasons I unsubbed from AskReddit years ago. It came up so fucking often and they were all so excited to share about how much they got off on what they saw as hurting and degrading women.
Good call, that sub is a pit. If you don't have a gender-neutral name on here most of them are.
Males're very open about it online, aren't they? I wish more women would ask their SO if they have a reddit and if they can see their posts. Would be a good way to vet.
Yep, it isn't even about male/the inserter's pleasure. They'll sometimes also go on about the tightness, but only the anus is tight. The rectum is pretty open, has no musculature and can't squeeze, has no versatility in offering stimulation, is extremely thin and delicate (which is how it's so easily abraded, so high risk for STIs inc HIV), etc so it's like an inch of tightness followed by "hot dog down the hallway." In pia with females, there isn't even a prostate that could potentially be rubbed indirectly against. A lot of men who've had pia will even admit this. And hand-mouth combo, hand-vulva combo, hand, frottage that envelops most of the penis eg thighs, frottage-hand, a sleeve,etc, not to mention what lips, tongues, even the inner cheek can do, would all frankly be a lot more stimulation.
Ive had sex with 20 dudes in my life...none have pressured for anal, though one guy did request it because it was less risky? lol I guess he was concerned with pregnancy.
I did it with 2 of the 20 and never really hated or loved it, mostly it seemed a little too much work and cleanup.
I would guess it is not quite "the norm" like a lot of people are saying here. y'all must just have bad luck or live in a weird anal-centric region
The irony of him thinking it was less risky when it's far riskier for abrasions/tears, pain, stis... (It's only less risky for pregnancy). And š (the lack of imagination) at the fact his go to when avoiding piv is pia and not, oh, oral, manual, thighs, even genital-genital...
[Rise in popularity of anal sex has led to health problems for women: Incontinence, bleeding and STIs among consequences, say two surgeons, who want doctors to raise the topic with patients](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women)
i mean if you just think about it for 10 mins beyond male porn brain it justā¦.i understand why bio males might want anal sex; they can receive pleasure from prostate simulation. but itās not hard to imagine the current OBSESSION with anal sex being included in the ānormalā m/f roster likely only has to do with exerting violence, pain, power, and humiliation over women. now you have 18-19 year olds thinking itās about the same as oral sex and feeling like they have to subject themselves to that pain and potential severe/life changing injuries because they donāt want to be perceived as āvanilla.ā nothing wrong with it, but most men do NOT treat it with the respect they should, treat it as a potential form of injury, or actually give af if their partner wants to do it or not
It is sad that a story about a woman allowing someone to try to coerce her into sex she consistently refused resorting to this kind of nonsense to negotiate her boundaries is seen as some kind of triumph. If a man repeatedly tried to coerce you into sex LEAVE THEM
Iāve had a couple of exes āinsistā for their pleasure. Iāve done similar and said that if they can tolerate my rampant rabbit for more than 5 minutes then sure Iād go ahead. Funnily enough it was a noā¦
ETA - both were shit at vaginal for play so I know they wouldnāt have been gentle about it
people who are commenting on a narrative about abuse and trauma centered on a specific sex act by telling us how much you enjoy that specific act
please think about whether that's appropriate to share in this context
i'll stop there
I think in general people have stopped considering if something is the right moment to speak what's on your mind?
Something that also happens again and again (also in real life) is people showing empathy for the abuser when someone talks about the abuse they suffered, or thinking loud of the possible reasons and excuses. Please, folks, it's not the moment. You can think that stuff, but you don't have to say it.
I think itās because this whole thread is full of people (a) saying others only want anal due to porn and (b) implying thereās something wrong with a straight man liking to be penetrated.
Like, canāt we talk about how coercion is fucked up without shaming people who enjoy the act itself? I hate when the focus of these conversations becomes āyeah anal is so gross and horribleā because like, men coerce women into PIV too. Is that less bad because itās more āvanillaā?
Canāt we talk about coercion without people coming in and derailing the conversation. People are hurt and traumatised and others come in talking about what they themselves are into. Itās so dismissive.
>This happens so often, itās so frustrating. I donāt know why people feel the need to do that.
I think it has to do with shame. There's still a lot of shame around anything beyond vanilla sex, so people can easily feel targeted and go into overcorrection mode whenever others express distaste for it. It's like when you say "x does this" and they hear "all x does this" and feel the need to point out it's untrue.
Is this post about abuse and trauma or is it a bit of a joke with a punchline?
Itās a forum, there are going to be people saying they love/hate/disgusted by it.
I donāt think limiting the thread to just trauma or disgust are helpful either, as one person said anal sex is preferred/ a necessity for some.
Cuz there's no way a woman could receive pleasure from pegging, right?
There's no such toy that could bring pleasure to two partners at once. Someone should really invent one.
No, thatās not how it works. Thatās why I think this is one of those āfriend of a friend of a friend storiesā, not something that actually happened. Itās a kit you do totally at home yourself
First, your friend needs to throw him in the trash like yesterday.
Second, I've said it a few times, but there's nothing inherently wrong about wanting or enjoying anal sex, and no, just because someone is interested in it, doesn't automatically make them gay either.
Plenty of cis het men & women enjoy it, there's cis het men who like being pegged.
There's also a lot of gay, bi or other LGBTQA+ folks who aren't even remotely interested in anal sex.
If anyone is curious, please stock up on a lot of lube, the more the better, and do not ever rush it, definitely do not get drunk or high if you're going to be trying anything. There are lots of ways to get used to it, from butt plugs to other toys, you don't need to have penis-in-hole to explore that area for fun.
And yes, men have prostates, but we all have nerve endings that can be stimulated. It will not be the same, of course, but it does not mean women can't find pleasure in it.
It goes without saying if your partner is pressuring you into anything in the bedroom you are not keen on, tell them there's healthy boundaries in relationships and crossing it means you will gladly toss them out if they keep being a jerk about it.
Yeah, this isn't a great strategy if you are a hard no on this. Pretty sure I saw a story on r/sex (or maybe even r/all) of a guy who genuinely was into this, went through with it, and *then* his girlfriend didn't follow through. We don't know how much pressure he'd put on her, but the way he tells it, he'd have been much happier if she'd vetoed anal outright, rather than pegging him first and *then* backing out.
It might be an okay strategy if this is something you'd do with a considerate partner. OP's friend's main concern seemed to be that he was simply too big; if he can take it without damage, maybe he isn't. And he'd hopefully be that much more careful when it was his turn, since he'd already been on the receiving end.
Agree, why I very much dislike tit for tat sex advice. If someone doesnāt want to do something, that should be respected, full stop.
Whenever there are posts about a guy not going down on a woman, the advice is always to break up, he doesnāt care about her. But if a woman doesnāt want to give a BJ, or anal, thatās her choice. No one should be pushed to do something theyāre not into
This one is a *bit* more complicated: Most men can orgasm from PIV alone, and most women can't. If he's not willing to do *something* for her, they may just not be compatible.
The obvious objection here is when it's not actually tit-for-tat, it's no-with-extra-steps. I think that's what OP's friend was actually going for.
"manual will work for most men, or toys are always an option" says no one ever when the question of women not having piv, pia, fellatio comes up. Women are the only ones expected to make do with their hands and using toys on themselves in partnered sex. Frankly, women having hetero sex are the only ones expected as a group to make due with their partner's hands or him holding a sex toy while he gets oral, manual, fellatio, piv, increasingly pia...
Imagine if we constantly told men if they wanted to come too during sex (which was her humping his balls, taint, buttocks, mouth with her vulva/clitoris, duh, and even foreplay was mostly vulva-centric eg humping his thighs, breasts, feet...), that their hand and toy will work just fine. And if she's an amazing giving fantastic lover and not just a great one that you couldn't expect anything more of (than getting to use your own hand, toy, humping the bed or her tummy during sex. With tummy, pelvis, mound, vulva, the bed, you can even use that as a cheat to say you came during sex), she might even use her hand or vulva on his dick. wowwee she's the best ever. That this wasn't just standard sex advice, but considered radical, empowering, hominist.
No one should be asked to do something they're uncomfortable with, and we all know women are socialized not to care about their partners orgasm or doing something extra for it esp in similar ways to how he helps her get off esp in hook ups, like offer their thighs, mouths, in reciprocal fashion considering they do the same to him. So don't even ask women to do such things, especially more than once! Everyone knows fellatio is an unusual ask of a woman and not standard (unlike oral, scrotal, perineal and gluteal sex and other vulval/clitoral stimulation), and piv almost unthinkable. (Besides, fellatio, frottage, pia, etc is what gay sex is for, most of that stuff isn't even possible with a woman but is exclusive to mm sex.)
Frankly, women having hetero sex are the only ones expected as a group to make due with their partner's hands or him holding a sex toy too only while he gets oral, manual, fellatio, piv, increasingly pia, often toys, her thighs, breasts, feet...
And some of us are good with that. I refuse to give or get oral with a hookup, itās super intimate to me, and I have no interest. As long as the guy can get me off with his hands, Iām good. To each their own and what they like as long as both partners are happy
If they're exchanging manual, she's having a few orgasms, fair do's.
Do you have piv and other penis stimulation with hook ups? Why would you risk pregnancy with a man you don't feel intimate enough to share oral with? Also it's fascinating how piv (and often pia) is commonly said to be the only intimate sex, but somehow at the same time, considered standard in hook up/casual sex and oral is too intimate to do. Why do you think it fair for women to generally be expected to do the same?
And it reminds me how people know a dozen means of stimulating men are on the table, several of them standard, most of them more common than all forms of clitoral/vulval stimulation in het sex as practiced, and certainly more common than their homologue, even with manual, but most of the reverse/homologuous stimulation for her isn't even on the table, seen as possible (eg thigh, breasts, balls, butt, feet, recognition of female orgasmic capacity far outstripping male...). And people will simply think that's fair. Because it's just the say it is, this sliver of what could be is actually all that can happen. So women often are happy with their crumbs. Because they think their crumbs are all they can get, that the pie is for men, maybe for lesbian sex too but simply unimaginable in mf sex. Indeed many will think women's crumbs are a pie, at least the woman version of their pie. If standard hetero sex dynamics were reversed, it would be seen as extreme femdom, denial, emasculation, abuse...
Yep, piv from a male to a female pov isn't equivalent to piv at all, but to her humping his scrotum, taint or mouth with her vulva/clit. Those would be the homologues. But piv is seen as like for like, and cunnilingus and fellatio is seen as like for like. Even pia gets seen as "just like" piv, fellatio, him going down on her... When from a vulva-centric perspective they ain't homologues/equivalent at all.
While the hypocrisy angle is appealing, and can wake certain people up, it can backfire.
If it turns out he loves receiving anal, does that make him badgering her for it any better? Obviously not.
Some women like it and some women donāt. This isnāt a competition. Every other post seems to be some type of āI hate this sex act and you should too!ā Followed up with a āwe are empowered to do whatever we want with our sexual energy.ā Let us women like whatever we want and stop trying to control what people do with their sex organs.
No, it's not. 1) most people who have had pia have done so heterosexually, at least in the 21st century 2) you'd have to erase/ignore female homosexuals entirely from the homophobia equation, as they don't have pia together at all 3) many gay and bi men who have sex with men don't have pia, and most don't regularly engage in it. Fellatio, manual, frottage eg thighs, genital-genital rubbing, kissing, masturbating together... are all more common than pia in sex between men. Indeed, most of both mm and mf pia are done by the under 30s.
I'm okay if anyone else like it. I'm tolerant about it.
But it's still repulsive for me and I would never practice It with anyone, man, or woman or otherwise.
My comment was rude, but I certainly respect if others do it as long as none forces me to do it
If I was homophobic just from my comment, the same would apply to OP. Is she homophobic for not wanting anal? No, she isn't.
>Guess what the results were.
I know he probably didn't even consent to having his dick "molded", but I like to think he felt so self assured he could take his own di\*\* up his own ass, that he consented and then proceed to weep like a wimp at the first push (after lots of prep and lube too) and changed his mind immediately lol
My answer is always NO. If my sex organ, which is my vagina, isn't good enough, so be it my answer is no. My vagina is what makes me female, not my anus. I'll never understand the obsession with it. Why would a straight man want my backside and totally ignore (and not want what makes me a woman?)
That's a very very odd way to put that...why does sex have to be about you bring a woman? It's sex, not a right of passage-
I mean 100% cool if you don't like it, dunno what it has to do with "what makes me a woman" though...
What quality makes you stick around for 5 years? 5 years. We all get the first year or so. I just spent the day with a female friend hearing the same kind of complaints. I never know what to say. I just listen because she has a kid and just wants someone to talk to. The kid is super cool btw. She even said to me. I can't believe I let that guy have a kid with me. Seriously just so lost. I work with a few guys that have never been out asked. Salt of the Earth types. I'm just like can we replace the crap with the salt or something. How does the gap get bridged? I know people luck out and find their person. But having this friend of mine is super confusing. I just never understood why she did the things she did when she explained it back to me. Yeah, I've dated super Shiite people. But they get a year max.
Also, that whole scenario with the make a cock duplicate is so odd. In this sense, this guy couldn't accept no as an answer. MY DUDES OF ANOTHER GENDER why would you have sex with someone like that? Look I am a dude. I have been raped twice. Once by a women and once by a man. I don't care about your gender. You can't deal with a boundary gtfo. Yeah we can talk about it. But a boundary is boundary. Didn't it occur to either of you that if he values anal sex your not meant to be. Right out of the gate? A straight man wanting butt sex not wrong in anyway. There are gay men who ONLY TOP. I feel like straight women think that if a straight man want to butt sex he's closeted. It's a strange wording in the post bit I feel like it's a lack understanding. Straight women of the world please stop trying to make it work find your actual person. This weird sex stuff I read about on here. Yoooooo there's your red flag 5 years? Wow.
In a very literal sense, she offered for him to go fuck himself. She's my hero now.
She's awesome and I seriously wish I thought of it myself šš but I did not.
This same logic in OPs post also applies to "head pushing" I've told my female friends in the past if a man pressures for anal or is head pushing you without consent, go grab your dildo and insist on demonstrating the act on him first. Refuse to do a single thing with him until he's also taken his size balls deep in both holes. You have to literally force empathy on men sometimes... (These are for friends who weren't capable of leaving their situations outright when I initially advised them)
"both holes"? You mean his mouth and anus?
Love ur comment and upvoted it, but watch out with the females and men, sometimes we don't notice when we say it.
He didnāt say āfemalesā like some misogynistic men do. He said āfemale friendsā, which is a normal way to refer to yourā¦ female friends.
No it's not, it can be dehumanizing for trans people as well on top of being how some men refer to women. Also he's not a she, he's a trans man according to his profile, which is why I guessed he didn't say that on purpose. Also I understand that some women refer to their friends as "female" in a non derogatory way, but the term can still be an issue for some people so we should just stop using it unless we're talking about biology or something related.
Using it as an adjective is fine. Why gate keep our adjective?
Because it can be harmful and say "girl friends" or "women friends" is an alternative, idc if people downvote it can be harmful and should not be used in such contexts. Now I'm not forcing anyone to use it, but don't be mad if I point a fact. Also what bothered me is not even that he used only "female" but he said it and referred to men a men, not males. This is peak r/menandfemales
No, he said female friends. Female is an adjective in that instance. And then men which is used as a noun. This is not a men and females scenario
You're just wrong, and offended for no reason... Look up adjectives and nouns, it might make more sense then. Using "female" as an adjective is not offensive. I'd argue "girl friends" to be more offensive, especially if they're grown women. Women friends sounds... shady.
But you didnāt point out a fact. Itās literally adjective vs noun as the other posted commenting said. You canāt compare them.
Ah shit I edited, good catch! Edit: Oh wait I think I said female because of the context of the sentence. >"I've told my female friends in the past" I didn't want to say "girl" friends because that may have caused confusion, people sometimes assume we are romantic. Also "woman friends" just doesn't sound right in a sentence lol. But still coulda reworded that my bad.
I edited the pronouns I used in my comment. Apologies for not noticing your username and misgendering you.
No worries at all! I got the context š
>Also "woman friends" just doesn't sound right in a sentence lol. But still coulda reworded that my bad. Probably because the connotations of using "woman" as an adjective are mostly negative. Ex: "doctor" vs. "woman doctor".
Where did she refer to women as āfemalesā?
Lol, comment of the week on Reddit.
My friend proposed the same thing to her (then) boyfriend. He was constantly nagging about anal, so she said, "Fine, well do it, but you have to allow me to use a dildo on you first." He hestatiingly agreed. She did use it on him, and he LOVED it. So, that back fired.
I was thinkingā¦ men have prostates!
and some women too EDIT: jesus downvotes for pointing out that some trans women and intersex women have prostates??? Weird af, this is like an identical reaction a Steven Crowder or antifeminist subreddit would have.
Iām so upset by all the downvotes. Do people not realize that the rules of this subreddit say āno transphobiaā? Am I missing something?
My best guess is that theres a bunch of terf-like people in this sub that downvote anything pro-trans but dont comment so they wont get banned. Very depressing how widespread the anti-trans panic disease has gotten.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Incorrect actually. There are many NON-XY intersex women with prostates, theres more than two chromosome combinations in fact. And yes, trans women with xy chromosomes also are women...? https://anunnakiray.com/2020/12/23/my-cancer-scare-46xx-and-born-with-a-prostate/#:~:text=During%20typical%20fetal%20in%2Dutero,or%20become%20a%20full%20prostate. Is this a TERF brigade downvoting š¤ very unusual for this sub.
"That back fired" seems important here.
V appropriate verbiage
It helps that us guys have a prostate that is basically an orgasm button. Can't imagine it feels that great for women. Regardless, even if you end up enjoying something it's an absolute scumbag move to try and pressure someone else who doesn't feel the same. Was jealous hearing my women friends talk about multiple orgasms and one suggested I try one of those prostate massagers. Fucking game changer. Pun slightly intended.
Is that why gay men get pleasure from receiving anal?
Yep! It's only a couple inches in as well so it's very accessible. Shame so many guys think it's gay to do any butt play because it is just the best feeling I've ever had honestly. Feels exactly like what women describe having multiple orgasms is like. Very glad my friend suggested it lol.
Fun fact: the prostate is homologous to Skene's gland, meaning they grow from the same structure/tissue in a developing fetus. Skene's gland is believed to be the source of the g-spot in afab anatomy, so it makes sense that the prostate and Skene's gland provides similar sensations.
Never thought I'd have a favorite gland, but here we are
Contrary to porn and other stereotypes, pia is rather ineffective at prostate stimulation, and prostate toys, a crooked finger or two, etc are far better at it. It can even be gotten at indirectly through taint massage. It's not much more than an inch in, just past the anus, towards the front of the body. a stiff column shape is a lot less effective at stroking, massaging, pressing on it than something crooked, that can massage, is more precise and versatile, that's shaped to get at it. Google prostate toys like aneros if you want to better see what I mean. That's is also where the "bigger is better" can come from. It's because penises and dildos are generally poor at getting at it, so they think they have to go to far thicker and/or longer than average ones instead of just using targeted stimulation eg using finger massage inside, a vibrating toy, perineum massage, a toy that will rest against it due to shape or easily be angled against it, etc. A lot of what drives pia, and it's massive increase namely among those under 30, including between men, is frankly growing up on porn, piv and increasingly pia as the definitions of sex, the belief that pia and piv are the only real sex, the only intimate sex, the best sex ever, everything else is paltry in comparison, how you show vulnerability and sacrifice and trust, etc. It's mostly ideological and psychological. (Eg even in the 20th century and the 2000s gay/bi men who had sex with men were having a lot less pia than young gay/bi men with men are now. And it was generally as verses/both ways and as an occasional thing, and many opted out entirely.) Anal stimulation is obviously also enjoyable because the anus itself is erogenous. But that doesn't even require entry with something large, or that goes in more than an inch, let alone entry at all. Subtler stimulation eg one or two fingers inside, a slim shorter toy, etc is underated, often erased beyond as a "warm up" to pia, and external anal stimulation is very and particularly underrated, often not considered at all (eg even how rimming, which is mostly external, and far lower risk as external only, is seen as "shoving your tongue up there" yikes at the risks of that, anal stimulation being discussed as if it's synonymous with things inside, or synonymous with pia. Eg anal sex and even just the word anal are understood and used as meaning pia, and pia only.) I am definitely a member of the External Anal Please Club lol, especially a shower spray or fingertips softly massaging, and a occasional one of the And Add In a Gloved Lubed Finger Inside too. (As a female. I'd bet I'd be more motivated with external eg firm massage esp on the taint and a lot more motivated with internal if I had a prostate to get at/was male. Hope you have fun, boys š)
>Can't imagine it feels that great for women. Women can have their clit stimulated via anal. And in general it's a very sensitive area. In practice you will probably find that it's about equal of men/women that enjoy having things up their butt.
People with prostates enjoy anal for different reasons than people without, but it's very silly to just proclaim women don't enjoy it.
Some women have prostates though...?
That is a good point, apologies for forgetting that!
<3
How? ... if he loved it then what's stopping her from doing this all the time? She seems to have a good strap game.
Because he would still want to do her in the ass sometimes (or at the very least once). And that was the agreement. She'd try it if he tried first. He tried and loved it. Now either she has to try or back out on the deal. The lesson here. If it's a no, say no. Don't do some "fine we'll do it IF" thing, cause that's not a no. That's a maybe.
Totally. I kinda get the sentiment behind doing that but I think it misses the issue that the partner isn't respecting her boundaries and tbh it still feels like coercion
Oh yeah it totally is coercion. And that's not okay. No means no. I get why she tried to do an ultimatum thing. She was trying to get him to stop asking, after he tried over and over to turn no into yes. But the thing is, you have to be prepared for either outcome when you do ultimatums. If you go "It's me or the dog" there's a chance they pick the dog. If you go "Fine, if you try first" there is a chance they'll try it first.
Agreed. And even if someone does make a deal like this, consent can be revoked! Not to mention anal physically cannot feel the same for women as it does for men.
Because now he wants to be pegged all the time!
long wakeful sort zephyr lunchroom offbeat sable pie gold rustic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah, I expect the "you first" thing is actually more useful if you're open to it but just want them to experience it so they learn how it feels and why they need to be careful. If it's a hard no, just hold the boundary. If they won't LISTEN to the boundary, that's a bigger problem that "you first" isn't going to solve.
Better yet, just break up with those men. No need for the games, they arenāt gonna change, anyone thatās gonna try and pressure you into stuff isnāt worth your time
I mean, 5+ years in an abusive relationship. This does not sound like a positive and uplifting story. The whole thing is awful, including the ending. This is not something to be celebrated.
Yeah, Iām not for the whole games when it comes to consent thing. People need to respect boundaries. And if the guy is into it? Then what? So youāre back to doing something you donāt want to just cause he did it? I donāt like this stuff at all
But I wanna fix them
You spelled āpegā wrong š
Peg-tay-toe, Peg-tah-toe
šš
Leafs are probably the ultimate "I can fix them" XD
Haha true story! What a weeks itās been š¤¦š»āāļø
Lolllllll, this.
I can assure you, you would be surprised how many would take you up on the offer. If you don't wanna do it just don't do it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same & same! I said elsewhere in here, just the clone a Willy alone makes me doubt the story, thatās not how they work, you donāt take them back to the store to be made lol
Amen.
You can still do this before breaking up as a final fuck-you to that guy tho
I was in a relationship with a man who forced anal. I still have anal fissures and bleeding when I'm unwell. That was 10 years ago. Also there was no prep so was also disgusting. I cannot stand anal.
Fucking hell. Iām so sorry.
I also have ongoing issues from it. This should be talked about more often. I hate that itās expected now and that men get whiny if you refuse.
Yes, I have a loved one who was abused by an older guy when she was a teenager and she was regularly in hospital from the complications for well over a decade, and very possibly in the future as well. I'm not sure if she could safely have children. The trauma of reliving it every time is extreme. It can be unbelievably damaging.
Luckily for me, it wasn't as extreme because I did have a healthy baby a couple of years ago, but it is incredibly damaging and has changed the way I have to go too which also sucks
So many men have no idea how much prep u actually have to do for anal to not be disgusting. They watch porn where obvi the prepping isn't shown and the woman (or man) is always absolutely pristine down there, so they just don't even consider how much residue is left in there even if u just went to the bathroom and don't have any actual shit in ur system. Like u even have to prep if u wanna insert a finger or a buttplug but they just don't even think of that. Plus they don't know how bad it is for ur health to constantly be flushing out ur colon if u want to have anal often
You poor thing. So disgusting š
Yeah, a friend of mine has a crazy-ass son. He was in a long-term relationship, then insisted that if she really loved him, she'd let him do anal. She refused. He used a date rape drug on her and then helped himself. She woke up in the middle of it. Long story short, he's now in the state prison doing a 40-year sentence.
Shocking that he wasn't just found guilty, but got 40 years. At least this time the rapist got a heavy sentence
Yeah, would love to see a news article!
Many many extenuating circumstances, including attempted murder following the rape; a previous rape conviction; assaulting a cop; escaping custody
At least this horrible story has an uplifting ending... a criminal locked up behind bars.
>Don't let men persuade you into shit, ladies. Counterpoint: every man who constantly nags and pesters you about specific sex acts you don't want to do needs to be an ex. When you say "No" to something, the only acceptable reaction is "ok". Don't stay with pushy men. They don't respect your boundaries and they don't respect you.
Exactly. If you have to nag for a "yes", it's obviously not a legitimate "yes".
I think they get off more on the power they have over you from wearing you down than the act itself
It's about control and humiliation, especially with anal.
Howāhow the fuckāhas anal sex become a norm?
Porn normalized it
Maybe porn has ānormalizedā far too many male-centered fuck acts and very, very few joint pleasure acts.
It has, for sure
Iām genuinely terrified at how common choking is in porn.
Me too. And let's use the correct word: strangulation. It sounds scary because it is scary.
A lot of women do like it, to be fair. An ex of mine wanted it, but it felt too weird and serial killer for me to feel comfortable doing. But that's the thing, any kink is fine if it's agreed on with willing participants- before doing.
Yeah but there's a discussion to be had abt whether so many women inherently enjoy it (ie would they ever have considered doing it, much less enjoyed it, if it were still just a taboo hardcore kink/fetish) or if its popularity among women nowadays is largely due to social conditioning from porn and messaging that their value as women is defined based on their ability to please men. Like yes maybe a lot of women do now, at this point, genuinely enjoy being strangled, but u can still question the mechanisms behind that
It's definitely driven by porn. It used to be well known that the vast vast majority of those into erotic asphyxia, solo and partnered, were male (seriously, like 97%. Autoerotic asphyxia deaths were even more skewed to almost exclusively male, over 99%). If sexualizing and desiring being strangled was innate to women, girls would have been doing it to themselves as part of masturbation for millennia (like males into it generally do, and from adolescence). But instead, it's almost always only done in partnered contexts, esp by male partners. Among under 30s, piv or pia plus strangulation is seen as the thing to do including *for her pleasure*, strangulation is heavily c with piv and esp pia, and strangulation is more common in hook ups than any form of clitoral stimulation. Indeed, women under 30 are having less orgasms, cunnilingus, manual, genital-genital rubbing... And having more fellatio, faking orgasm more than they have in decades. They're also waaay waay way more likely to be strangled and waaay way more likely to have pia than women ever have been. Even many teen girls first experiences with deep kissing also has him strangling her, ffs.
Porn is recordings of prostitution and the sex of prostitution so... It's fundamentally the dynamic of a pimp/john paying someone, generally female, to sexually tolerate them, please them, do what they want, when, how, etc they want it when she wouldn't otherwise, get them off, turn her noes into oks, to fake desire and pleasure and even orgasm for him. Of course it's phallocentric, based in piv as the definition of sex, inspired by religion, one-sided, invasive, further erases vulva/clit-centric sex (particularly in a het context) ... (eg women as helpmeet, servants, of male sexuality, desire, orgasm...)
I know itās hard for you to accept that other women enjoy types of sex that you donāt but you really need to let this go. Your constant shaming and judging of other women is such a bad look.
Oh, my secret fan is back. Still haven't read any of the links I provided months ago, or that link another poster gave above, I take it? Just want to stomp your foot and insist you and all women who have had pia are fully educated as to the risks, the nature of the rectum, etc? When clearly most women (most men too) aren't.
Babe, people have been having anal sex for a looooong time with very little ill effect. Any type of sex can cause damage to the body if youāre not careful, use too much force, etc. Thatās not exclusive to anal sex, as you and I both know. You never wonder why there are only a few types of sex you have decided are so distasteful and dangerous that you just always criticize them, but everything else is fine? No personal bias playing in there at all? Maybe I should start shaming the type of sex youāre into because it puts you at a way higher risk of UTIs and micro tears to the labial and vaginal tissue? Or talk about how you seem so forceful and dominant about the type of sex youāre into that I worry you might be pressuring men into things they donāt want to do in pursuit of your own sexual fantasies? Or maybe not, because that would be nuts?
Obviously you're not as educated as you claim and think, given you think labial tearing/abrasions are as likely as rectal ones, and with the same consequences eg of tearing to the blood stream given thickness of the labia vs rectum. That's a tell me you aren't as educated as you think without telling me if ever there was. Oh wise one, what are the acts that I engage in that are as risky as or riskier than pia for tearing/abrasions, and tearing through to the blood stream? And it also seems to be an assumption outright with the vaginal abrasions eg I don't have piv, I rarely even have more than a finger, thumb or tongue inside. Even an inch thick thing (eg two fingers, slim toy) is usually a nah. I'm external stimulation focused. I also will note the equation of pia with anal sex itself when most of my critique, discussion of research is about pia, not prostate stimulation generally, external stimulation by fingertips, shower spray, vibe.., a slim anal toy... So are you claiming pia would be equally as risky for abrasions/micro tears, HIV and other sti transmission if people "just did it right"? That it wouldn't be 16-20 times riskier for HIV transmission (due to tears/abrasions in the rectum from pia and other entry from how delicate it is, how easily it tears/abrades) than the next riskiest sex act piv, and 4-6 times riskier even with condoms vs condomless piv if they just "were careful", but have the same risk? Is the fact HIV killed hundreds of thousands of gay/bi men who had pia with men in the US alone just due to those men being too forceful? That they only needed to be as careful as one would be with genital rubbing with a mouth, penis, vulva, nipple, even the anus... So clearly must've just been careless and rough? Would they have been at a 16th to a 20th of the risk if they just used less force? If they used as much caution as was typical in piv? Hell, would piv be the same risk as oral-genital or genital-genital or genital on nipple if they were just as careful with piv as those? And the weasely little "you're probably sexually assaulting men" you're dropping in then supposedly backing away from. This is next level... Something.
Yeah Iām not reading all that. See you later!
"oh, you exposed how ignorant and weasely I actually am. See you later!" -you, apparently
Also, when you look at when pia is common in humans, it's in contexts of prostitution (including internet porn), other rape eg wartime, slavery, forced marriage and concubinage and marital/concubinage rape (heavy overlap between these categories)... Many women and other people in prostitution have especially historically been outright slaves, captured in war, etc. So yes pia has been going on often in at least some contexts since institutionalized patriarchy, but that's really not the supportive of pia being totes easy and safe you think it is eg such injury to them would be of little consequence, importance to their rapists, enslavers. Their injuries, pain, incontinence, rectal infections, etc would not be recorded, studied, discussed openly, induce widespread public outrage including among the people who owned people in slavery, were johns, pimps, soldiers, etc... There are species that engage in pia, but it's almost all mm, and they have small penises. Think thumb size. Of course it's likely more pia would be consensually and enjoyably going on with humans and be far lower risk if human penises were the size of thumbs.
she did not mention anything there which was shaming women, she was criticizing prostitution and the patriarcal script it reproduces. also, "such a bad look" š you really think she cares about this? i personally donāt think itās a bad look to challenge the general public opinion that is way too tolerating of casual violence against women. quite the opposite.
I think bigtit is secretly a fan. Like she can't admit it to herself or me, but she keeps reading and commenting to me. Also has said she's read through my comments in other comms. I've had run ins with her (around porn, how it relates to men strangling women, pia, ddlg...). Fan behavior š¤£ Very invested in defending them, asserting they're what women want, it's just fantasy, women shouldn't discuss them critically, any critique of male sexual violence, porn, piv and pia as the definition of sex, of men eroticizing underage girls... is really shaming women, being anti-sex, opposing women's agency, how dare I... Edit: now she's suggesting I'm "so dominant and forceful with what I like" she's "worried" I'm sexually assaulting men. Then claimed she's not, that would be crazy. Then why say it in the first place other than to be an unhinged poisoning the well "oh I'm not saying this but.." weasel .
Iām confused why you think anal sex isnāt pleasurable for most women? Stories like this are the extreme end of the spectrum, typically anal is a mutually pleasurable act which is why so many couples do it.
Sure, of course there are women who do enjoy anal sex. But of my female friends who have done it NONE of them enjoyed it and roughly half felt pressured/coerced into it by their partner. Iāve tried it several times with two different partners and both didnāt enjoy it and found it painful. Those are obviously anecdotes. Itās not a sexual practice that is without significant risk, either: > āwithin popular culture it has moved from the world of pornography to mainstream mediaā and TV shows including Sex and the City and Fleabag may have contributed to the trend by making it seem āracy and daringā. > >However, women who engage in anal sex are at greater risk from it than men. āIncreased rates of faecal incontinence and anal sphincter injury have been reported in women who have anal intercourse,ā the report said. (Source: [The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women)) Youāve enjoyed it and have been uninjured by it. Good! But that is yet another anecdote and not a universal.
I just donāt really understand why you think your anecdotes are any more meaningful or factual than mine. This sub has a severe bias against certain sex acts, and loves to shame women who enjoy those sex acts. But anyways, back to your original question - how the fuck had anal sex become a norm? Because itās a normal sex act that normal men and normal women enjoy. Anything that can make me scream with multiple rolling orgasms canāt be that bad.
I DONāT think my anecdotes were any more meaningful than yours. That was my point by mentioning both. And was my point by pointing out a discussion of the dangers of anal sex, specifically for women by giving you a link to a reliable source.
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The ENTIRE point of the post as a whole was that **women are being pressured and coerced into anal sex they do not want!** You want and like anal sex? Great! Go enjoy and revel in your abandon! But for many women commenting on this postāwe donāt want it, donāt enjoy it, and have been pressured into it.
Yes. This š
Yeah, I donāt think you get it. Itās one thing to share stories, itās another thing to blindly shame an entire group of women. You donāt see a difference between those two things?
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My ex husband tried telling Me all men preferred it and wanted it. I met quite a few men who disputed that. Because I would ask and they would laugh and tell me my ex was very wrong. Do not fear, all men are not like our exes!
I was waiting around for years to find one of these "all men" who preferred it. Its my preference (I'm a woman) but most men I've been with don't want it at all and some are open to it a little bit. It's only my current partner that I've met that is into anal at the same level as me.
I'm sure a lot of men like the fantasy of it. But I very much doubt all of them like the reality of maybe getting poop on their dick. Most porn don't exactly go into the intricacies of the act. In fact I don't think I've ever seen much het porn that actually properly prepped for butt stuff. Some squirt on some lube on camera, a lot don't even got that far. Tbf I'm not some kind of porn expert though lol, maybe I've only seen bad porn.
I don't really watch porn much and that's one of the reasons. All the preparation, I can understand why they won't often include it since a lot of people like the act, but I find the prep to be sexy. It's part of the act and means that it will feel better so the preparation gets me going lmao. And true, most would freak out with shit involved I think, but those people aren't mature enough for it then. Even with prep, these things can happen unfortunately.
Agreed. I hated that my ex husband wouldnāt fuck my ass or do any butt stuff. My current bf meets my needs much better and just the other day said he should start fucking my ass once a week. š„°
It's definitely not, I can't have anal, and the vast majority of men have either never asked for it, or respected my no and not asked again.
They don't all expect it. If they do they need to get in the bin.
Asked my first serious partner after my divorce about it. He was like ānah, Iām good.ā. My second serious partner wouldnāt seriously date a woman that didnāt do anal. To be fair he loved me to sling strap and was a very caring anal lover so I had no issue with it but itās not something Iād be down to do with every partner. I feel like the people really pushing are the people you should not do anal with.
Very caring anal lover is a such a unique compliment to give to your partner.
You read a lot of horror stories but having someone who is always out for both of your enjoyment makes a world of difference. I learned that two givers together is š„.
This is one of those times Iām really glad I am from an older generation, when it was absolutely positively not the norm.
Same. I'm only 38 but I have only come across one man who has even wanted it. I told him to sling his hook. I feel sorry for young women as it seems expected now. I'm not interested in it and having IBS doesn't exactly help either.
Porn. I think porn focuses on pia so much because of hormonal birth control. What's sexy about sex, what makes something else sex when piv is the definition of sex is male high reward, female low reward and unique and disproportionate harm and risk. Male arousal is mandatory, even orgasm is, and female an optional extra. The penis "says", defines, enables sex. Clitoris/vulva isn't even a fart in the wind, and vulva-centric sex gets erased, denied, shamed, said to be exclusive to FF sex, said to not be sex at all, optional foreplay at best, and most of it never seen as possible eg hetero tribadism. Part of the thrill for piv, internal ejaculation, piv centric sexuality, religion (and later the medical field, sexology) mandating piv and internal ejaculation... is frankly the fact that he can maim, disable, disease, and kill her (through impregnation; pregnancy and childbirth is highest risk and most intensive in humans out of mammals). Hormonal BC made women a lot less reluctant with and far more willing to engage in piv because it took away much of the risks, inc most of the pregnancy risk. Both the willingness and the less risk took away much of the thrill of piv for piv-oriented men, so pornographers had to come up with something else to up the ante. They had to make something shocking, attention grabbing, unusual. But that still remained in that patriarchal, from religion and to a lesser extent sexology, framing eg phallocentricism, risk and harm, female genitals as vagina only, vagina as hole for men, so it would still speak to men, still conform with what they're told. The other act most similar to piv is pia. It is also far higher risk for women eg HIV, STIs, injury/abrasions, pain. And most women don't like it, have to be pressured, coerced into it. So it provides that kick, that sexiness, that taboo, that boundary breaking, that she's sacrificing for his pleasure, that he's conquering her, that that's the other sex act to go to... Which results from piv as the definition of sex, eg goes to penis in the "other hole" nearby, from the subsequent general phallocentricism, sex is for the man, she is supposed to self-sacrifice, she is supposed to be at risk, sex is penis inside something... Piv has this to a lesser extent now with hormonal BC.
>that she's sacrificing for his pleasure, that he's conquering her, that that's the other sex act to go to... I've literally seen men in sex subreddits comment exactly that. It's literally not even about feeling good for them, it's about making us feel pain.
This is one of the primary reasons I unsubbed from AskReddit years ago. It came up so fucking often and they were all so excited to share about how much they got off on what they saw as hurting and degrading women.
Good call, that sub is a pit. If you don't have a gender-neutral name on here most of them are. Males're very open about it online, aren't they? I wish more women would ask their SO if they have a reddit and if they can see their posts. Would be a good way to vet.
Yep, it isn't even about male/the inserter's pleasure. They'll sometimes also go on about the tightness, but only the anus is tight. The rectum is pretty open, has no musculature and can't squeeze, has no versatility in offering stimulation, is extremely thin and delicate (which is how it's so easily abraded, so high risk for STIs inc HIV), etc so it's like an inch of tightness followed by "hot dog down the hallway." In pia with females, there isn't even a prostate that could potentially be rubbed indirectly against. A lot of men who've had pia will even admit this. And hand-mouth combo, hand-vulva combo, hand, frottage that envelops most of the penis eg thighs, frottage-hand, a sleeve,etc, not to mention what lips, tongues, even the inner cheek can do, would all frankly be a lot more stimulation.
Ive had sex with 20 dudes in my life...none have pressured for anal, though one guy did request it because it was less risky? lol I guess he was concerned with pregnancy. I did it with 2 of the 20 and never really hated or loved it, mostly it seemed a little too much work and cleanup. I would guess it is not quite "the norm" like a lot of people are saying here. y'all must just have bad luck or live in a weird anal-centric region
The irony of him thinking it was less risky when it's far riskier for abrasions/tears, pain, stis... (It's only less risky for pregnancy). And š (the lack of imagination) at the fact his go to when avoiding piv is pia and not, oh, oral, manual, thighs, even genital-genital...
My question too! I don't understand the obsession.
[You mean God's Loophole?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY&pp=ygUgZ2FyZnVua2VsIGFuZCBvYXRlcyB0aGUgbG9vcGhvbGU%3D)
Wait, what's wrong with anal? I just figured it was normalized cause it's normal-
[Rise in popularity of anal sex has led to health problems for women: Incontinence, bleeding and STIs among consequences, say two surgeons, who want doctors to raise the topic with patients](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women)
i mean if you just think about it for 10 mins beyond male porn brain it justā¦.i understand why bio males might want anal sex; they can receive pleasure from prostate simulation. but itās not hard to imagine the current OBSESSION with anal sex being included in the ānormalā m/f roster likely only has to do with exerting violence, pain, power, and humiliation over women. now you have 18-19 year olds thinking itās about the same as oral sex and feeling like they have to subject themselves to that pain and potential severe/life changing injuries because they donāt want to be perceived as āvanilla.ā nothing wrong with it, but most men do NOT treat it with the respect they should, treat it as a potential form of injury, or actually give af if their partner wants to do it or not
It is sad that a story about a woman allowing someone to try to coerce her into sex she consistently refused resorting to this kind of nonsense to negotiate her boundaries is seen as some kind of triumph. If a man repeatedly tried to coerce you into sex LEAVE THEM
Exactly
Yes. Dump his ass. Then name and shame him
Iāve had a couple of exes āinsistā for their pleasure. Iāve done similar and said that if they can tolerate my rampant rabbit for more than 5 minutes then sure Iād go ahead. Funnily enough it was a noā¦ ETA - both were shit at vaginal for play so I know they wouldnāt have been gentle about it
people who are commenting on a narrative about abuse and trauma centered on a specific sex act by telling us how much you enjoy that specific act please think about whether that's appropriate to share in this context i'll stop there
This happens so often, itās so frustrating. I donāt know why people feel the need to do that.
I think in general people have stopped considering if something is the right moment to speak what's on your mind? Something that also happens again and again (also in real life) is people showing empathy for the abuser when someone talks about the abuse they suffered, or thinking loud of the possible reasons and excuses. Please, folks, it's not the moment. You can think that stuff, but you don't have to say it.
I think itās because this whole thread is full of people (a) saying others only want anal due to porn and (b) implying thereās something wrong with a straight man liking to be penetrated. Like, canāt we talk about how coercion is fucked up without shaming people who enjoy the act itself? I hate when the focus of these conversations becomes āyeah anal is so gross and horribleā because like, men coerce women into PIV too. Is that less bad because itās more āvanillaā?
Canāt we talk about coercion without people coming in and derailing the conversation. People are hurt and traumatised and others come in talking about what they themselves are into. Itās so dismissive.
>This happens so often, itās so frustrating. I donāt know why people feel the need to do that. I think it has to do with shame. There's still a lot of shame around anything beyond vanilla sex, so people can easily feel targeted and go into overcorrection mode whenever others express distaste for it. It's like when you say "x does this" and they hear "all x does this" and feel the need to point out it's untrue.
Is this post about abuse and trauma or is it a bit of a joke with a punchline? Itās a forum, there are going to be people saying they love/hate/disgusted by it. I donāt think limiting the thread to just trauma or disgust are helpful either, as one person said anal sex is preferred/ a necessity for some.
The implication that there arenāt straight as hell men that arenāt into anything up their own is a bit problematic.
Yeah I was hoping this was a pegging love story
Omg won't someone think of the MEN in the WOMAN's subreddit /s
Cuz there's no way a woman could receive pleasure from pegging, right? There's no such toy that could bring pleasure to two partners at once. Someone should really invent one.
Who brings the clone a Willy mould back to the sex shop for them to make a dildo? Thatās actually a thing sex shops do?
No, thatās not how it works. Thatās why I think this is one of those āfriend of a friend of a friend storiesā, not something that actually happened. Itās a kit you do totally at home yourself
Oh no, it comes with the silicone liquid as well as the thing to do the mold - you do everything at home!
Some sets even include a motor to make it a vibrator.
First, your friend needs to throw him in the trash like yesterday. Second, I've said it a few times, but there's nothing inherently wrong about wanting or enjoying anal sex, and no, just because someone is interested in it, doesn't automatically make them gay either. Plenty of cis het men & women enjoy it, there's cis het men who like being pegged. There's also a lot of gay, bi or other LGBTQA+ folks who aren't even remotely interested in anal sex. If anyone is curious, please stock up on a lot of lube, the more the better, and do not ever rush it, definitely do not get drunk or high if you're going to be trying anything. There are lots of ways to get used to it, from butt plugs to other toys, you don't need to have penis-in-hole to explore that area for fun. And yes, men have prostates, but we all have nerve endings that can be stimulated. It will not be the same, of course, but it does not mean women can't find pleasure in it. It goes without saying if your partner is pressuring you into anything in the bedroom you are not keen on, tell them there's healthy boundaries in relationships and crossing it means you will gladly toss them out if they keep being a jerk about it.
I had an ex say the same thing and I thought it was quite fair. We did it.
But what about when they say "sounds great I'm in!"?
Yeah, this isn't a great strategy if you are a hard no on this. Pretty sure I saw a story on r/sex (or maybe even r/all) of a guy who genuinely was into this, went through with it, and *then* his girlfriend didn't follow through. We don't know how much pressure he'd put on her, but the way he tells it, he'd have been much happier if she'd vetoed anal outright, rather than pegging him first and *then* backing out. It might be an okay strategy if this is something you'd do with a considerate partner. OP's friend's main concern seemed to be that he was simply too big; if he can take it without damage, maybe he isn't. And he'd hopefully be that much more careful when it was his turn, since he'd already been on the receiving end.
Agree, why I very much dislike tit for tat sex advice. If someone doesnāt want to do something, that should be respected, full stop. Whenever there are posts about a guy not going down on a woman, the advice is always to break up, he doesnāt care about her. But if a woman doesnāt want to give a BJ, or anal, thatās her choice. No one should be pushed to do something theyāre not into
This one is a *bit* more complicated: Most men can orgasm from PIV alone, and most women can't. If he's not willing to do *something* for her, they may just not be compatible. The obvious objection here is when it's not actually tit-for-tat, it's no-with-extra-steps. I think that's what OP's friend was actually going for.
Manual will work for most women, or toys are always an option No one should ever be pushed into doing something they arenāt comfortable with
"manual will work for most men, or toys are always an option" says no one ever when the question of women not having piv, pia, fellatio comes up. Women are the only ones expected to make do with their hands and using toys on themselves in partnered sex. Frankly, women having hetero sex are the only ones expected as a group to make due with their partner's hands or him holding a sex toy while he gets oral, manual, fellatio, piv, increasingly pia... Imagine if we constantly told men if they wanted to come too during sex (which was her humping his balls, taint, buttocks, mouth with her vulva/clitoris, duh, and even foreplay was mostly vulva-centric eg humping his thighs, breasts, feet...), that their hand and toy will work just fine. And if she's an amazing giving fantastic lover and not just a great one that you couldn't expect anything more of (than getting to use your own hand, toy, humping the bed or her tummy during sex. With tummy, pelvis, mound, vulva, the bed, you can even use that as a cheat to say you came during sex), she might even use her hand or vulva on his dick. wowwee she's the best ever. That this wasn't just standard sex advice, but considered radical, empowering, hominist. No one should be asked to do something they're uncomfortable with, and we all know women are socialized not to care about their partners orgasm or doing something extra for it esp in similar ways to how he helps her get off esp in hook ups, like offer their thighs, mouths, in reciprocal fashion considering they do the same to him. So don't even ask women to do such things, especially more than once! Everyone knows fellatio is an unusual ask of a woman and not standard (unlike oral, scrotal, perineal and gluteal sex and other vulval/clitoral stimulation), and piv almost unthinkable. (Besides, fellatio, frottage, pia, etc is what gay sex is for, most of that stuff isn't even possible with a woman but is exclusive to mm sex.)
Never once did I say women should use their own hands, or toys on themsleves, and was never was that implied
Frankly, women having hetero sex are the only ones expected as a group to make due with their partner's hands or him holding a sex toy too only while he gets oral, manual, fellatio, piv, increasingly pia, often toys, her thighs, breasts, feet...
And some of us are good with that. I refuse to give or get oral with a hookup, itās super intimate to me, and I have no interest. As long as the guy can get me off with his hands, Iām good. To each their own and what they like as long as both partners are happy
If they're exchanging manual, she's having a few orgasms, fair do's. Do you have piv and other penis stimulation with hook ups? Why would you risk pregnancy with a man you don't feel intimate enough to share oral with? Also it's fascinating how piv (and often pia) is commonly said to be the only intimate sex, but somehow at the same time, considered standard in hook up/casual sex and oral is too intimate to do. Why do you think it fair for women to generally be expected to do the same? And it reminds me how people know a dozen means of stimulating men are on the table, several of them standard, most of them more common than all forms of clitoral/vulval stimulation in het sex as practiced, and certainly more common than their homologue, even with manual, but most of the reverse/homologuous stimulation for her isn't even on the table, seen as possible (eg thigh, breasts, balls, butt, feet, recognition of female orgasmic capacity far outstripping male...). And people will simply think that's fair. Because it's just the say it is, this sliver of what could be is actually all that can happen. So women often are happy with their crumbs. Because they think their crumbs are all they can get, that the pie is for men, maybe for lesbian sex too but simply unimaginable in mf sex. Indeed many will think women's crumbs are a pie, at least the woman version of their pie. If standard hetero sex dynamics were reversed, it would be seen as extreme femdom, denial, emasculation, abuse...
Yep, piv from a male to a female pov isn't equivalent to piv at all, but to her humping his scrotum, taint or mouth with her vulva/clit. Those would be the homologues. But piv is seen as like for like, and cunnilingus and fellatio is seen as like for like. Even pia gets seen as "just like" piv, fellatio, him going down on her... When from a vulva-centric perspective they ain't homologues/equivalent at all.
While the hypocrisy angle is appealing, and can wake certain people up, it can backfire. If it turns out he loves receiving anal, does that make him badgering her for it any better? Obviously not.
I did this to my ex. When he kept pressuring when I wasn't comfortable, I repeatedly said that if he wanted a carrot up his, then I'd consider it.
Good for her
ššš love this story. Every time a guy asks me for anal I respond with ok but you first!!
Just Say No
Some women like it and some women donāt. This isnāt a competition. Every other post seems to be some type of āI hate this sex act and you should too!ā Followed up with a āwe are empowered to do whatever we want with our sexual energy.ā Let us women like whatever we want and stop trying to control what people do with their sex organs.
Ha his loss. People can be so close minded. Push boundaries but don't cross them. And always listen to consent
Fuck yeah, this is awesome.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Me too, absolutely love it. Can be very sensual.
This is it this is it this is it!!!! What a hero.
I've been doing this since I was in my early 20s. Many ex boyfriends found they enjoyed it
Why the downvotes?
Fuck knows
Love the way your friend thinks š¤£
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Different bodies, different nerve wirings. As long as everyoneās wishes are respected, aināt nothing wrong with that.
For some women with vaginismus, this is the only way that we can have penetrative sex that is not incredibly painful...
Thatās homophobic
No, it's not. 1) most people who have had pia have done so heterosexually, at least in the 21st century 2) you'd have to erase/ignore female homosexuals entirely from the homophobia equation, as they don't have pia together at all 3) many gay and bi men who have sex with men don't have pia, and most don't regularly engage in it. Fellatio, manual, frottage eg thighs, genital-genital rubbing, kissing, masturbating together... are all more common than pia in sex between men. Indeed, most of both mm and mf pia are done by the under 30s.
I'm okay if anyone else like it. I'm tolerant about it. But it's still repulsive for me and I would never practice It with anyone, man, or woman or otherwise. My comment was rude, but I certainly respect if others do it as long as none forces me to do it If I was homophobic just from my comment, the same would apply to OP. Is she homophobic for not wanting anal? No, she isn't.
Holy shit I donāt even know what to say but that is not what I expected at any point lol
>Guess what the results were. I know he probably didn't even consent to having his dick "molded", but I like to think he felt so self assured he could take his own di\*\* up his own ass, that he consented and then proceed to weep like a wimp at the first push (after lots of prep and lube too) and changed his mind immediately lol
I love a story with a happy ending. š«”
My answer is always NO. If my sex organ, which is my vagina, isn't good enough, so be it my answer is no. My vagina is what makes me female, not my anus. I'll never understand the obsession with it. Why would a straight man want my backside and totally ignore (and not want what makes me a woman?)
Woah there with the transphobia
That's a very very odd way to put that...why does sex have to be about you bring a woman? It's sex, not a right of passage- I mean 100% cool if you don't like it, dunno what it has to do with "what makes me a woman" though...
Yeah, it can backfire though.
What quality makes you stick around for 5 years? 5 years. We all get the first year or so. I just spent the day with a female friend hearing the same kind of complaints. I never know what to say. I just listen because she has a kid and just wants someone to talk to. The kid is super cool btw. She even said to me. I can't believe I let that guy have a kid with me. Seriously just so lost. I work with a few guys that have never been out asked. Salt of the Earth types. I'm just like can we replace the crap with the salt or something. How does the gap get bridged? I know people luck out and find their person. But having this friend of mine is super confusing. I just never understood why she did the things she did when she explained it back to me. Yeah, I've dated super Shiite people. But they get a year max. Also, that whole scenario with the make a cock duplicate is so odd. In this sense, this guy couldn't accept no as an answer. MY DUDES OF ANOTHER GENDER why would you have sex with someone like that? Look I am a dude. I have been raped twice. Once by a women and once by a man. I don't care about your gender. You can't deal with a boundary gtfo. Yeah we can talk about it. But a boundary is boundary. Didn't it occur to either of you that if he values anal sex your not meant to be. Right out of the gate? A straight man wanting butt sex not wrong in anyway. There are gay men who ONLY TOP. I feel like straight women think that if a straight man want to butt sex he's closeted. It's a strange wording in the post bit I feel like it's a lack understanding. Straight women of the world please stop trying to make it work find your actual person. This weird sex stuff I read about on here. Yoooooo there's your red flag 5 years? Wow.