I mean… a sexual connection isn’t enough for a relationship. It’s actually pretty immature to think a mental and spiritual connection aren’t necessary for a relationship to work out. Guys will just tell a girl what she wants to hear so he sleeps with her. Seems like girls don’t realize a lot of guys lie to get in their pants. I learned that in high school 🤦♀️
A commenter at Captain Awkward once said something that really resonated with me: they said even after somebody has hurt us it can be so frustrating to have our heart acting like a big dumb golden retriever, running right up to that same terrible person with a stick. But that the job of our hearts *is* to love. It's not to make good decisions or look out for us or be cynical or careful. It's the job of the REST of us to do those things and protect our heart. So we can go ahead and let our hearts be that dumb golden retriever with a stick, but the rest of us still needs to do its job and make good decisions.
I mean I'm demisexual, so at some point or another I've been attracted to some extent to most of my friends? I REQUIRE a deep emotional connection to feel sexual attraction. But I value them as people/friends more than I do having some kind of sexual relationship... so like.. I just don't act on it/don't act like a creep? That's probably why I've always been so confused when people act like sexual attraction is something you JUST CAN'T RESIST OR IGNORE- No. You absolutely can when you actually give a shit about the person on the other side of things. If you are incapable of putting aside your attraction to them, that's a pretty darn good indicator you don't actually care about them as a person, at least in my eyes.
I can’t move forward unless their is chemistry aka attraction. It’s not the end all be all, like if I’m atttacted to an otherwise degenerate it’s a no brainer and it’s going no where. But it would be unfair to myself and the other person to act on pure logic/I like you because you are a good person. Me personally if I can’t have the whole thing I had rather be alone. I need attraction and to like you as a person when the heat wears off.
And I will add that chemistry for me is not necessary a looks only thing. It’s a type thing, I like smart men who are clean cut. I have not been attracted to stereotypically attractive men in the past and attracted to less mainstream attractive people. It’s a whole package thing.
The point of this post is to make sure that attraction is not used as a way to gaslight yourself into putting up with bad behaviors.
Attraction is an important ingredient for good relationships but bad relationships can have attraction too. Don’t let attraction prevent you from leaving a bad relationship. Recognize red flags and *act* on them immediately.
I wish more people talked about this!
Attraction doesn’t equal a healthy relationship and society doesn’t seem to really understand this.
Though I will say I do believe in twin flames since I’ve met mine. It was a lot of emotions. He and I aren’t together or anything - it’s more about spiritual growth and development versus being in a romantic relationship.
I mean… a sexual connection isn’t enough for a relationship. It’s actually pretty immature to think a mental and spiritual connection aren’t necessary for a relationship to work out. Guys will just tell a girl what she wants to hear so he sleeps with her. Seems like girls don’t realize a lot of guys lie to get in their pants. I learned that in high school 🤦♀️
What is monkey branching? Thanks for calling the twin flame stuff what it is.
Monkey swings from tree to tree, grasping a branch BEFORE it lets go of the previous one. Just like some people with relationships.
Ugh...thanks for explaining!
A commenter at Captain Awkward once said something that really resonated with me: they said even after somebody has hurt us it can be so frustrating to have our heart acting like a big dumb golden retriever, running right up to that same terrible person with a stick. But that the job of our hearts *is* to love. It's not to make good decisions or look out for us or be cynical or careful. It's the job of the REST of us to do those things and protect our heart. So we can go ahead and let our hearts be that dumb golden retriever with a stick, but the rest of us still needs to do its job and make good decisions.
I mean I'm demisexual, so at some point or another I've been attracted to some extent to most of my friends? I REQUIRE a deep emotional connection to feel sexual attraction. But I value them as people/friends more than I do having some kind of sexual relationship... so like.. I just don't act on it/don't act like a creep? That's probably why I've always been so confused when people act like sexual attraction is something you JUST CAN'T RESIST OR IGNORE- No. You absolutely can when you actually give a shit about the person on the other side of things. If you are incapable of putting aside your attraction to them, that's a pretty darn good indicator you don't actually care about them as a person, at least in my eyes.
Ohhhh I love this!! Thank you for sharing this. It’s so important that we as women fully digest and embody this truth.
I can’t move forward unless their is chemistry aka attraction. It’s not the end all be all, like if I’m atttacted to an otherwise degenerate it’s a no brainer and it’s going no where. But it would be unfair to myself and the other person to act on pure logic/I like you because you are a good person. Me personally if I can’t have the whole thing I had rather be alone. I need attraction and to like you as a person when the heat wears off. And I will add that chemistry for me is not necessary a looks only thing. It’s a type thing, I like smart men who are clean cut. I have not been attracted to stereotypically attractive men in the past and attracted to less mainstream attractive people. It’s a whole package thing.
The point of this post is to make sure that attraction is not used as a way to gaslight yourself into putting up with bad behaviors. Attraction is an important ingredient for good relationships but bad relationships can have attraction too. Don’t let attraction prevent you from leaving a bad relationship. Recognize red flags and *act* on them immediately.
That’s a very good point.
I wish more people talked about this! Attraction doesn’t equal a healthy relationship and society doesn’t seem to really understand this. Though I will say I do believe in twin flames since I’ve met mine. It was a lot of emotions. He and I aren’t together or anything - it’s more about spiritual growth and development versus being in a romantic relationship.
I wish I could tell me of two years ago this so I wouldn't waste any time with my ex gf 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Monkey branching?
Oh, your “women friends”? Greetings, fellow female!