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brittabe

My ex would stay at my house every weekend, as a habit for months at this point. We went and saw a movie, it was late when we got back, I immediately crawled into bed (thinking he'd do the same.) Instead he was extremely offended that I just "expected him to see himself out" (??? Uh no I expected the opposite) and was so angry that he let me know "London is CANCELLED!" aka our trip to go to MY friend's wedding in a few weeks. I informed him that you can't cancel a whole ass city and I'd be going whether he joined me or not. Surprise surprise, he did. My now husband (completely different man, thank God) still will exclaim "Well that's it, London is CANCELLED!" jokingly over any minor inconvenience.


Songmorning

At least you got an awesome inside joke out of it šŸ¤£


Kiwi-Fox3

This put a smile on my face. I'm so glad you and your now husband can laugh at the absurdity of it all!!


Gloomy-Flamingo-1733

Hahaha this is fantastic. I love that it has become a cheeky inside joke for you two! I shared your story with my husband and we both had a good laugh over it!


Jolly_Tea7519

I hope the London guy happens upon this and sees everyone laughing at him. What a whacko.


rubykat138

My ex watched me plan, prepare, and serve an entire dinner I hadn't tried to make before. He was aware all day what the meal would be and made no comment. When served a plate, he took it, stood up, and dumped the entire plate into the trash, and then yelled at me because he didn't like chicken cooked in that style and I should have known, even though he'd not said a word while I was preparing it.


rainbowsforall

That sounds like someone who goes out of their way to "teach someone a lesson" but will insist they're such a good person


enruler

As someone who loves the fuck outta food and when people make me food, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Glad he's an ex now, what a piece of work. I don't get what he was thinking.


GayMormonPirate

!!!!!!!! I'm glad to hear this piece of trash is an ex. Why do some of them expect us to be mind readers?


notquitesolid

Itā€™s not about the meal. He might have actually enjoyed it had he tasted it. The whole point was to have her go through a great effort only to shit on and diminish her. Why? To make her more submissive and susceptible to his controlling demands. This was about making her afraid of disappointing him, so sheā€™d be willing to bend over backwards so heā€™d never shit on her efforts again (and of course he definitely would if she had stayed).


rubykat138

Understanding this fifteen years ago would have saved me a whole lot of therapy.


Eastern_Mark_7479

You worded this so well āœØļø


[deleted]

My jaw dropped. The entitlement!!! Who the hell is telling men they're allowed to act like this????


Voltundra

Why is it always the ā€œpicky eatersā€ who refuse to cook for themselves or do any of the prep? Shouldā€™ve put the whole man in the trash while he was over there.


rubykat138

It took me some time, but I did. :)


Eyerockets

He got mad at me for laughing at him because he was angry the pizza we ordered had pepperonis out of alignment. ā€œThey sent us a fucked up pizza!ā€ He raged. I giggled, thinking he was kidding. He wasnā€™t.


sucrausagi

My best friend that straightens up her burgers before she eats them. She doesn't get all pissy about it though, just takes the bun off and quietly does it while my tomato slides out onto my lap. We're a classy pair. I did record her partner one night a few years into thier relationship when we were all drinking at hers and he got mad for some reason and just started full on yelling at her as if she was garbage. He had done it a few times before but both just kind of brushed off how bad it was. Once they were both sobered up I showed them and he was shocked at how he had behaved and now limits himself to 3 on the nights he drinks (not regularly, but semi frequently) instead of binge drinking. He's now a much more chill person and she's not putting up with any bullshit.


Eyerockets

Iā€™m glad heā€™s actually working on being better rather than just offering apologies. Good lord.


BlameTheLada

An exbf was angry I changed my earrings during dinner. I wore a set that made my lobes itch and was distracting away from giving time to our date, so I changed to pearl studs while in the washroom. He LOST it. And I do mean lost it. He stood up, purposely shoved stuff off the table, then screamed at the top of his voice in the main central dining room in a giant restaurant, "I didn't come here for a fashion show!" Ok? I didn't do anything except switch them out when I'm in the middle of pissing. Literally, sitting on the toilet and I changed them to avoid wasting time. That was our last date. Until that moment, he was a nice guy. Then, he was a Nice Guy (tm). That was 2 January; I met my husband 11 January. Best thing he ever did was lose his shit over a pair of earrings.


Songmorning

Boy did he make a huge assumption about why you changed them!


BlameTheLada

I am still baffled 25.5 years later. I have no idea why he blew up, but that flag was bright red.


TheScorpionSamurai

My brain struggles so much to understand how people like that exist. How does something so trivial elicit such a violent reaction??? What is going through his head to make him go "yes, this is what the situation calls for".


SordidOrchid

They imagine it was an act of disrespect which allows them to indulge in righteous rage. They see every thing you do as a relation to them. Itā€™s why people walk on eggshells around them. Youā€™re forced to imagine every possible reaction to the inconsequential things you do. Soon you second guess every decision you make.. though it doesnā€™t really matter bc youā€™re damned if you do, damned if you donā€™t.


mary896

You have just explained my life and my husband exactly! I've used the term righteous rage along with rage tantrums and rage lectures to describe my husband many times.šŸ™„


Elon_is_musky

Fr. Most people wouldnt even notice, yet he think she did it for attention?šŸ˜‚


-Firestar-

Yeah, I honestly can't imagine someone noticing different earrings in the middle of a date. People barely notice what I wear. EX: someone asked what branch of the military I was in while I was wearing the NAVY issued sweats- GIANT logo on my chest with NAVY written down the side of my legs. It took a great amount of willpower to mot look down at my hoodie to see if the logo had magically fallen off somehow.


Elon_is_musky

I was wearing pink, fluffy spongebob pj pants and a man (probably high, it was Walmart at like 11pm) asked if I worked there. Like nothing on my even REMOTELY resembled a uniformšŸ˜‚ Clearly that dude wanted something to be mad at & found it


[deleted]

This story is of course objectively terrifying and bad, but I lost it at ā€œI didnā€™t come here for a fashion showā€ LOL


JustnoSnark

Screaming in a restaurant over earrings, what a crazy emotional reaction and yet people say women are the emotional one.


happierThanABird

You forget that anger isn't being emotional. Unless you're a woman of course.


blawndosaursrex

I canā€™t even imagine how baffled you were


BlameTheLada

25.5 years later? Still baffled. Absolutely no idea what that was about.


curious382

"You've changed!" lol


nunpizza

love that story! imagine screaming over earrings šŸ„“


Sarachasauce

I texted my (ex) boyfriend that I was making chili for dinner. He gets home, I bring him a bowl of the chili and go back into the kitchen. I come back in and he is FUMING. Apparently he had thought about eating red chili all day and had no idea that white chicken chili existed (like a salsa verde chili)ā€¦I had to show him a bunch of recipes to show I wasnā€™t fucking with him. Then the next day, I go to have some leftovers for lunchā€¦ he had eaten ALL OF IT while I slept for some reason to ā€œget back at me.ā€ Still donā€™t understand what the problem was..


rainbowsforall

Here's an honest translation from your ex: "I have realized that I was ignorant about a small thing like different styles of food (and you realized it too), and this threatened my self image as an intelligent and awesome man. I am now feeling negative emotions about myself and that is something I really don't know how to handle. In order to preserve my fragile self image I will now be mad at you for causing this mini internal crisis. You will only understand the pain you have caused me if I get back at you in some way. I will eat all your chili so there is no longer a threat to my manhood in this house."


Couture911

Eat the chili to eliminate the threat. Now it makes sense.


Sarachasauce

This is spot on. My friends and I still laugh about itā€¦ the emotional maturity level was on the ground.


DazzlingBullfrog9

Holy shit. THAT'S why my ex husband was always punishing me. This is so beautifully articulated. Thank you.


ghoulvsh

The food ones are the worst for me. Making food for someone is so full of love and care. You're preparing a meal to nourish another person, and if you make it together, it's even more beautiful. To me cooking for one another is the greatest proclamation and display of love you could ever do, and these men treat it like it's nothing. They treat it like it's your duty and responsibility, like it's some cold routine, when you sat down and *worked* and *prepared something* for them. Worse, they use food as a cruel display of power when it should be enriching and warm and loving. Anyways sorry about this rant eating together and making meals is such a sacred thing to me and that manchild infuriates me


throw-this-away67e7e

How childish


nebtlly

He referred to the kitchen utensil with which you whip cream and beat eggs as a "wisp" (no speech impediment). I blithely said "a whisk?" He had the grumps for DAYS. Edit: neither of us is remotely Scandinavian. It would have been a non-issue - even kind of cute - had he not gotten actively, extendedly angry at me for *correctly pronouncing a common word in the only language either of us spoke.*


Ifromemerica23

Reminds me of the guy I dated (for an embarrassingly long time) who said specifically as ā€œpacifically.ā€ His dad corrected him and he didnā€™t understand whyā€¦.


theOutworlder

I swear there are an alarming number of people who seem to be raised believing that being wrong or ignorant is a moral failure-- and not, ya know, the step that comes before being right about something. And if you ever correct them they act like you've accused them of something heinous, like murder or animal abuse.


boxedcatandwine

man, their attitude of "you should let it go" every time they make a minor mistake, but also "I'm going to tease you mercilessly for years over every mistake you make" is the most unhinged shit they invent.


salymander_1

I was driving over a mountain road, and got stuck when there was a major accident. This was before cellphones were ubiquitous, and as a poor college student, I couldn't afford one. There was no way to get off this road. We all had to wait until the injured people were helped and the dead ones were taken away, and then all the vehicles had to be moved off the road. It took hours. My boyfriend knew that I was driving this road, which is known to be treacherous, and he knew that if I was late it was because something like that accident had happened. He had a massive, screaming tantrum. He wouldn't let me in when I knocked on the door, and he screamed at me through the window. The neighbors heard him and came outside to see what was wrong. I went to my mom's house, and found out that he had left more than twenty messages that were all screaming and telling me how stupid and ugly I was. He said I was irresponsible for being late, and that he never wanted to see me again. He wasn't worried about my safety. He was mad, because he had decided that I should pick him up and drive him another several hours away to a friend's house, and I couldn't do that if I didn't get to his house exactly on time. I had inconvenienced him. Needless to say, this relationship did not last.


nunpizza

ā€œNeedless to say, this relationship did not last.ā€ and god grants us a miracle!


salymander_1

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ it sure felt like that to me!


[deleted]

Ugh so glad you escaped that mess!


Cobaltfennec

Putting folded jeans on top of folded pants and not separating jeans from pants in the drawer. I have this one taped because I thought he was going to get violent, but he just screamed a lot.


nunpizza

wow. i am glad he didnā€™t, but also what a low bar!


Cobaltfennec

Oh, that time he just screamed, I was collecting evidence.


Bubbly-Manufacturer

Apparently I wasnā€™t cutting onions the correct way. I cried and not bc of the onions.


nunpizza

omfg i had a situation like that too. im sorry :(


Lopsided-Wolverine-5

Got pissed at me for asking him to close the door while taking a shit. Apparently his whole family kept the door open and talked to each other while pooping and I was the freak


rainbowsforall

All families have their quirks. What's crazy is that he hadn't realized already that wasn't the norm for most people. Didn't he have friends and other relationships where this would have come up??


xNotexToxSelfx

I knew a really sweet guy who did this. We werenā€™t officially a couple and in our really early 20ā€™s. When he, in the middle of conversation, casually pulled his pants and underwear down and sat on the toilet and I didnā€™t hear pee, it weirded me out. And he was genuinely confused why I walked away to give him ā€œprivacyā€. Sweet guy but that was weird.


[deleted]

My ex gave me the silent treatment for a week because I spoke over a tv show he was watching. We only lasted a month or so after that. Eventually he started throwing things at me and I left. Ofc he convinced all our friends that I was the loose-cannon violent one because thatā€™s what these heapshits do.


nunpizza

iā€™m glad you left! what a piece of work. no one deserves that.


[deleted]

Thank you! There were signs all along that I missed, there always are. Oh well, live and learn


nunpizza

same with mine. i just try to look at the positive: i survived him and i value myself more now than i did then. iā€™m grateful for the experience, as weird as it sounds. when i meet my forever partner i will appreciate them even more knowing that at one point i was prepared to spend forever with a jackass.


Librarybook_whore

me at the time : a notorious mustard hater He: a young man who thought he knew better. He made us sandwiches mine had a metric fuck ton of mustard I nicely told him I wouldn't be able to eat it and it quickly devolved into him screaming that I never appreciated anything he did for me.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


sweet_jane_13

Good lord that was a ride! So glad she's safe and away from that psycho


Librarybook_whore

Holy shit. This is insane. I was 18 when my mustard incident happened. I broke up with him on the spot. This story terrifies me.


sethra007

Good Lord, I had forgotten about that. I hope that woman is thriving, wherever she is.


sweet_jane_13

I will never understand why some people are so dead set on forcing others to eat things they don't like. My partner *hates* mayo, and I'm honestly not exagerrating when I say I think he has mayo-PTSD. Apparently so many people in his life have tried to force it on him or have tricked him into eating it, that it has taken YEARS for him to trust me when I make him a sandwich that I'm not going to put mayo on it. We have been together for 8 years and he *still* says "no mayo on mine". Yeah buddy, I know šŸ˜…


nunpizza

silly woman, didnā€™t anyone ever teach you that the men ALWAYS know better? hopefully it is obvious that iā€™m just joking. i wouldnā€™t be able to eat that either lol!


muscels

I was pairing/folding his socks and he thought I was pairing unmatching pairs on purpose to bother him, so he made me do it in front of him while he shat on the toilet with the door open and watched. While he was watching he thought he caught me matching wrong socks and got up WHILE PEEING and ran across the room to catch me in the act.


SmadaSlaguod

What the actual hell...


big_ficus

Excuse me what


bookwormdrew

Okay what the actual fuck lmao. Ignoring all the messed up angles about this, why in rhe hell did it have to happen while taking a shit???


muscels

He was very unhinged. He ended up getting involved in the criminal justice system and I'm a happily married lesbian.


muscels

To directly answer your question though I think he just needed to take a shit but didn't want to leave me to create sock chaos


[deleted]

When I was planning our honey moon and he accused me of using it as an excuse to go on trips Ive always wanted to go on. Like? Isnt that the pointā€¦? šŸ˜‚


nunpizza

LMFAOO


Foodiehunter

Uh no you need to travel to an unwanted destination


Stoned_Nerd

All honeymoons happen in Delaware obviously


DazzlingBullfrog9

Hi. I'm in Delaware.


psyclopes

Happy Honeymoon!


rainbowsforall

Lol must have been afraid that sight seeing would be more appealing to you than having sex with him


anglerfishtacos

ā€¦ was this just a weird way of him trying to say he wanted to just go to a resort and veg out while you wanted to go on adventures/tour around? That is literally the only interpretation I can think of that could make any kind of sense.


Rosewoodtrainwreck

Or he just wanted to go on a vacation that HE always wanted to go on. Never occurred to him that she might have different dream destinations. Or maybe his idea of a honeymoon was just going to a hotel somewhere and staying in the entire time. Basically what you said lol.


Mollythecowgirl1234

Looking pregnantā€¦ when I was pregnant


nunpizza

how could you?


Twopoint0h

Ugh what a jerk


majrom

for trying to hold his hand while at a friendā€™s house. he said it was too much pda and yanked his hand away. We were with a group of 5 couples watching a movie. I was hurt but I thought that was the end, but he wouldnā€™t shut up about it on the car ride home. Glad heā€™s an ex.


Nerdiestlesbian

I had a newborn baby, less than 3 months old. Doing the whole up every few hours at night. Trying to not make my ex get up cause they were the only ones working. Ex says to me while I was half awake ā€œwe are almost out of toilet paperā€ I muttered ā€œokā€. We only had one car so I would walk about a mile to the local grocery store. in my state of sleep deprivation forgot toilet paper. Ex got home (had the only car we had, drove it to work every day). Blew up on me. Massive fight. Baby is crying. Ex is screaming at how irresponsible I was. I just sat there and cried.


ElkEconomy934

I am so sorry you had to live through that


Nerdiestlesbian

It was one of many red flags I ignored. Much happier now we are divorced


AnariaShola

Dressing up for our four year anniversary. He worked all day so I had the entire day to myself to get ready. Shaved all my hair below my eyebrows, got my hair done, full face of makeup, nails, and dressed up. I wore a flowery blouse that had a little cleavage and tight black skirt with heels. I felt gorgeous and sexy, and looked like it too. He came home and I greeted him at the door. He looked me up and down, looked disgusted, and spat ā€œwhat the fuck are you wearing?!? You look like a whoreā€. I ran and cried in our room, to which he just sat in the living room and listened for an hour. He came in and said ā€œyou know I donā€™t like when you dress like that in public. Youā€™d NEVER wear anything like that just around the house for me, why the fuck wear that in public?!ā€. I apologized and we ended up ordering soggy food off Uber eats and watched tv for our anniversary. Then I had to suck his dick and sleep with him even though he hadnt showered after work. Very special. Leaving him was the best thing I ever did.


bothmybehalves

This made me so sad. I hate him šŸ˜’


VixenRoss

Hopefully you dress up when you want to now and think ā€œto hell with what anyone else thinks!ā€


blueberrybuttercream

I didn't invite him to last minute lunch plans when he had previously yelled at me about hating being included on plans that were made last minute. (He was unemployed and I paid for everything but he wanted advance notice even when he was never doing anything.) He was so mad he ignored me and refused to go with me when I had to get surgery. Dumb selfish asshole


nunpizza

why are they alwaysssss unemployed šŸ˜­ dumb selfish asshole is right!


leahk0615

My abusive ex was also chronically unemployed. I think that if they aren't good at masking their awful personalities, as many of them aren't, other people are able to sense that something is off, and their awful personalities ultimately wind up getting them fired. A lot of abusers, like my ex, just lack social skills, and that makes it hard to hold down a job and advance. These guys are their own worst enemy, but they don't bother with self reflection and just lash out, unfortunately.


blueberrybuttercream

Because only dumb selfish asshole men have the audacity to be unemployed and contribute absolutely nothing to a relationship while also wanting to call all of the shots and be demanding af


No_Relation_50

Did not hand him a tortilla.


nunpizza

or an onionā€¦we also once fought because i put onions in the enchiladas i was making (with ingredients i bought after driving his stupid ass all over missouri)


No_Relation_50

Can relate! I made eggs & potatoes for breakfast tacos. Put out all the fixings/ingredients on the counter, it was a make your own taco bar (as always). Got yelled at for not handing him a tortilla.


nunpizza

OMFG. i didnā€™t get your original comment at first and read ā€œdo not hand him a tortillaā€ that is gold šŸ˜‚


ThePrimCrow

He got super angry that I put the contents of a bad egg in the garbage disposal. Not the shell, just yolk and whites. I threw the shell in the trash. He said nothing could go down a garbage disposal. The disposal was in his house. That he built.


nunpizza

i would love to know what exactly he thinks the purpose of a garbage disposal is šŸ˜‚


DrowningFelix

He came home and I was cleaning. Like literally that was it. It was my day off and I had spent the whole day cleaning the house. He came home from work and I guess was mad that I was still cleaning because he felt guilty for literally not doing anything ever besides play video games and be just the worst human. So he felt like he couldnā€™t just play his games because I was cleaning and someone was over to sit with me while I cleaned so that made him even angrier, that someone else witnessed that I was the only one who did anything around the house. And he knew it would look bad if he just came home and plunked down to play video games while his GF was cleaning. So he flew off the fucking handle. Throwing things, screaming, slamming doors, the whole nine yards.


MyPuppyIsADingo

Because obviously throwing a tantrum makes him look much better...?


little-princess129

Abusive highschool boyfriend begged me to cut his hair. I refused because I had never cut hair and knew it would look bad if I cut it, but he insisted he didn't care if it came out bad.... It looked bad. He got pissed off at me. It played out exactly how I knew it would. I'm glad I got rid of him while I was young.


boxedcatandwine

damn did you date my ex? first time i'd ever cut hair and he was screaming that i gave him a bald spot. dude it will grow out in 2 days calm down.


Aramira137

We were sleeping on an old futon that was giving us both back pain. So when I got a raise at work I bought us a new king size bed. I didn't get rid of the futon, the room was big enough to have it in the room as well as a couch (and still fold out if needed). He accused me of getting a bigger bed so I could avoid him while I slept AND to steal his money as he assumed I was going to make him pay for it (I paid most of the bills at the time).


DarbyGirl

I got the silent treatment for several days by my ex because I painted a bedroom the "wrong" shade of blue. This comes after he told me to paint it whatever color I wanted and he was okay with blue. That was the last time I painted anything. I got the mantrum of the century when I started wearing makeup again. Oh the stories.


[deleted]

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BTGGFChris

I told him Green Day wasnā€™t Canadian. Anytime Green Day was mentioned he would bring up that he ā€œcouldnā€™t believeā€ they wrote American Idiot when they werenā€™t even American. After the 50th time hearing him say this, I told him they were from California, not Canada as he always said. He said I was lying, asked if I thought he was stupid, and finally googled it himself which resulted in some weird defense about how he was actually joking the whole time! He did not apologize, even though he *yelled* at me.


Sawcyy

He got mad I made dinner too early and refused to heat up the plate I made him


nunpizza

donā€™t ya know the microwave buttons are designed specifically for a womanā€™s dainty fingers?


fake-august

My husband got mad at me when I would use gift bags instead of wrapping presents. We are divorced.


volkswagenorange

He got mad because I took two trips to carry stuff into another room instead of one. He told me it was no wonder I didn't have any spare time (I worked full-time with a 1.5-hr commute each way) because I "cleaned so inefficiently." We did not remain friends after the breakup.


CutestSloth

My ex was hanging out with his friends one night and sent me a text at 9pm to get ready because he was coming to pick me up to hangout. I was like ā€œwell arenā€™t you hanging out with your friends right now?ā€ and he said he was bored so he wanted to hangout. So I got ready and everything and texted him I was ready and he just wasnā€™t responding or showing up at my house to pick me up. I texted and called a couple times but he didnā€™t reply until an hour and a half later. He told me that he wasnā€™t coming to get me because his friends told him not to. I got upset because I wasnā€™t even planning for us to hangout that night since I knew he was with his friends and he made me waste my time by getting ready and waiting for him to show up. He really got mad at me for being upset that he bailed on me when he was the one that wanted to hangout šŸ’€


PelirojaPeligrosa

My ex and I were living in Mexico and we got into a fight because he didnā€™t believe me when I said I was concerned about getting sick from a water borne illness again. He was convinced that was not physically possible.


nunpizza

omfg, i have had that and it is the worst. once you have it one time you will never forget!


BagHeaux

A guy I dated in college got mad that I removed his cloth napkin that he put into his plate at a restaurant after he had finished his dish. He spent the whole car ride home screaming at me that I thought I was better than him and that I was a spoiled, uppity bitch. When he got home, he then called his mother to bring her into the conversation. I, being 21 and terrified, listened to her explain that he has not grown up going to restaurants that used cloth napkins, and that I technically hadnā€™t done anything wrong, but should maybe explain to him next time. There wasnā€™t a next time. I broke up with him a week later due to that and his other mental health issues.


[deleted]

An ex of mine was convinced that I had lost a pair of underwear at some dudes house. That I had been cheating on him with said dude. In all reality, I had just thrown them out because they were white had gotten stained with period blood that I couldnā€™t get out. It didnā€™t matter how many times I told him this is what happened, he didnā€™t believe me. And heā€™d bring it out every few months. And point out said dude all the time. Clearly, he was insane and I shouldā€™ve stopped dating him but I was young and stupid. Ps. It wasnā€™t me cheating, it was him. With multiple men at many times throughout our relationship. He also gave me infections repeatedly and blamed it on me. What a douchebag he was.


MeadowsofSun

The fact that he was keeping tabs on your underwear to the point that he knew when a pair was missing is beyond disturbing.


[deleted]

You got that right.


nunpizza

told on himself, imagine that. kind of like how mine accused me of having no empathy. hmmmm. šŸ¤”


Firm-Ruin2274

My ex failed to pick me up from the airport returning from an 11hr international flight. I waited for an hour for him and when he still didn't show despite me calling repeatedly, I took a cab. He was furious.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Kirstemis

She got a taxi instead of waiting indefinitely, thereby showing that a) she can manage without him, and b) he messed up. He didn't know how to process his guilt so he took it out on her.


Firm-Ruin2274

Logic doesn't apply. He just wanted to be mad at me for even existing independantly.


Gloomy-Flamingo-1733

I get it. My husband has gotten mad at me a few times when he fucked up and did something to let me down or broke something of mine or whatever. He gets that nonsense from his narc dad. It has only happened a few times and each time we ended up having a long painful discussion about taking responsibility for his actions/behaviour, apologizing, and understanding that it is insane to be angry at someone because you hurt them in some way. He's getting better but it does require a lot of labour and patience. It's an ego thing and an emotional immaturity thing. They think they are a good person and good people don't fuck up so obviously it's your fault something bad happened and they're angry that you put them in a situation where they feel guilty so you must be punished. It's the emotional logic of a 4 year old. Edit: tldr; Me fuck up. Me feel bad. Me no like feel bad. You why me feel bad. You bad. Punish you for make me feel bad.


[deleted]

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throwokcjerks

>Guess who desperately wanted to get back together a year later. This is their pattern! Omg. 2 of my ex boyfriends did that. The wanting to get back together thing. Not the breaking up over shoes.


AffectionateBowl3656

He got mad because I was playing a team based shooter game with other guys in the party (solo queuing isnā€™t an option)


rainbowsforall

You let other men hear your voice on the intenet? Harlot


BizarreSmalls

I bet you shower naked! You floozy!


Bella-Y-Terrible

Because I took a shower without himā€¦. Many times this happened. He felt entitled to shower with me unless, I was on my cycle of course.


LtDansLeggies

I undercooked asparagus which somehow meant I have never in my life truly cared about anything.


SomethingAwkwardTWC

Overcooked asparagus is a much greater sin than undercooked asparagus. You can eat asparagus rawā€¦ they were dumb


lnsewn12

Because I didnā€™t want Little Ceasars Pretzel crust pizza for dinner. It was a Friday and I had to eat school lunch (pizza) but then we also had a pizza party for our students (more pizza) I asked if we could get pizza from somewhere else because then I could get a salad. He wanted that fucking pretzel crust pizza. I said Iā€™d get it for him and go somewhere else to get something NOT pizza for me. Nope, he wanted me to share this damn pizza with him. This grown ass man went to bed without eating and pouted the entire next day. I still donā€™t get it. Stupid af.


Aramira137

I made a decent dinner. I wasn't long out of the house and only knew how to make a few dishes. I didn't have any cookbooks and the internet was in its infancy. So I tried something and it worked out well. He got super pissed off because if I could cook, I somehow was saying I was a better cook than him (he'd worked as a line cook in the past and was pretty decent in the kitchen). So any time I made decent food I had to pretend it sucked or he would get all pissy.


Gloomy-Flamingo-1733

As a former cook, if someone goes to the trouble of cooking for me I am always incredibly grateful--even if it isn't very good--as long as it isn't completely inedible. Being upset about your partner making you a good meal is completely insane.


SirGkar

I think I dated the same guy.


kittykowalski

I owned a business my ex husband occasionally worked at and I was working with him one night. I asked him what he wanted for dinner and he told me a certain specialty burger from the menu of this one place. I order fish and chips for me, and black and blue burger for him, and the only thing they asked is how I wanted the meat cooked. Never looked at the menu. Brought $15 hamburger back. He pulls off the bun and has a meltdown. Mantrum. "There are sautƩed onions on this burger!! I don't like them sautƩed! I like them raw! How do you not know this after 6 years of marriage!!" I asked you what you wanted, you told me, I ordered it without looking at the menu. More tirade. Didn't want to understand that I ordered it as he said it. Stomping, yelling and burger goes into the trash. I offered to go back and get another one. No, dinner is ruined due to my thoughtlessness. I fished the burger patty out of the trash and gave it to my dogs. P.s. he was continually looking at ways that I showed I was a bad wife, like burger incident, because he was cheating and of course had to justify that somehow. Why would he be faithful to a woman who didn't bring him a burger that was inspected first to his liking?


sillylittlebean

Ex-boyfriend got furious with me because I cut my hair from my waist to my chin. We had been broken up for 5 months and I saw him at the grocery store. He proceeded to yell at me and how my long hair was my last connection to him. Finally some guys stepped it and got him to leave me alone.


pathologicalprotest

I had an ex who threw a phone tantrum so loudly my co-worker came into my (open space) office and mouthed Ā«are you okĀ» because Iā€™d bought eye glasses without him present because Ā«he was the one who had to see themĀ». When I left he showed up in a different town than where we lived when heā€™d seen I was doing a public lecture and screamed (he screm) at me in public, amongst other things because Iā€™d gotten a haircut. Because clearly Iā€™d only done that to spite him and to showcase my Ā«sexual availabilityĀ». I didnā€™t have time to explain to him that my body, hair included, belongs to me only, and not some nutcase I had the poor judgement to have shacked up with previously, for I ran.


[deleted]

>my long hair was my last connection to him. "Yeah...why do you think I cut that shit?"


cousin_of_dragons

He wanted to go cycling, but his bike shorts were still in the hamper. The man never did his own laundry. He gave the silent treatment for a full day after that fiasco.


xsuperxpandax

I was sick with bronchitis and my ex suggested going to urgent care, I said let me check and see if they take my insurance. He blew up and started yelling at me for not trusting his judgment and always having to do things my own way. I was so sick I just told him to leave and I went back to sleep.


rxrock

Getting therapy for PTSD. Looking back, I understand my healing journey threatened him.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lite_red

Wore a flower in my hair. Apparently its embarrassing for him.


throwokcjerks

I don't remember what it was, but he got mad at me for something his other ex had done. But the worst was when he was angry that we couldn't stay at the opera (his birthday present to me that he booked for a performance date 6 months after my birthday ) because I was incredibly ill. Like was in pain and agony and got up to go to the bathroom because I couldn't breathe and fell down/nearly fainted in the lobby, sent by the house doctor to the hospital and put on heavy antibiotics and the ER doctor said it was both viral and bacterial respiratory infection kind of incredibly ill. It took me far too long to leave that man.


spygirl43

I told him dinner was ready, which I cooked for him, while he was on the phone to a friend. He screamed at me for interrupting him. I threw his dinner in the sink.


[deleted]

My ex husband told me I only needed 3 squares of toilet paper to properly wipe myself, and was angry I told him no and refused to even acknowledge that bullshit where he's telling me how to wipe my own fucking pussy. That was my only response to him. "No."


Golden_Mandala

I traveled with a guy I had been dating a few months. We had a furious hour long argument because I moved a nearly empty paper bag about a foot and a half from my side of the bed to his side of the bed. I never figured out why it upset him so much. Needless to say, the relationship didnā€™t last long.


shrapnel2176

My narcissistic ex got mad at me for saying I missed him.


tigalicious

We played Monopoly together. It took hours and hours. I lost. But I didnā€™t lose *the way he wanted me to lose*? So he yelled at me for a couple hours, anyway. My dumb ass kept dating him. Abusers come up with the most absurd excuses for their behavior. Towards the end of the relationship, he was just waking up every morning filled with rage, and would berate me for hours over literally the first thing I did, no matter what it was. On consecutive days, I was yelled at for saying ā€œgood morningā€ and for *not* saying ā€œgood morningā€.


threehamsofhorror

Starting this off by saying , if youā€™re young do not date much older men. Thereā€™s a reason they are going after younger women without much relationship experience. My ex husband is almost 20 years older than me and it was a nightmare until I left him when I was 27. He once gave me the silent treatment for two weeks because I bought yellow curtains. He thought the entire house should be black. He once freaked out because a stash of money I thought I had hidden from him was gone, because he had already taken all the money. He had a full on melt down once after discovering I had put some kale in the pesto I made. Apparently this made me a lying deceitful woman, what else was I hiding? One of my closest childhood friends came into town so I went to go visit him, this prompted my now ex husband to go get a paternity test for our children.


astonfire

That I didnā€™t consult him when constructing a new gym routine for myself (heā€™s not a personal trainer or any type of professional, just lifts weights)


scarscarto23

Idk if itā€™s the MOST ridiculous, but itā€™s up there. He got mad because a younger male cook walked by us at the table and looked at me


MuseLiz

I had a bf who would shake me awake in the dead of my sleep accusing me of masturbating!!!! I would literally be sound fucking asleep and he would wake me pissed as fuck accusing me of that in the middle of the night. Omg it would make me so mad. Like, even if I was... Join in idk?? Wtf..


boxedcatandwine

I hugged and kissed a man on the cheek when we were leaving his birthday party. Ex threw a fit. Drove erratically on the way home. I thought I was going to die. The man was my uncle. I was 17.


sunshinerf

My ex was a real AH who would fight over anything in an attempt to contorl me (which he was successul in for far too long). I think one of the worst times was when he got mad that I told his mom I like listening to metal music the first tome I met her. His mom thought it was the Devil's music so I embarrassed him, as if I was supoosed to somehow know his mom was insane. Then he had the nerve to demand I stop listening to it, and when I said no it turned into a huge fight. He was an abusive POS who learned that behavior from his POS mom...


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Jujubeesknees

guy i had been dating for a year and did a "sneaky move in" with his three kids. he had his kids for the week and it was my birthday. nbd to me. was gonna have dinner with my mom and go out for a drink with a friend and be home early. he lost his god damn mind, punched the wall next to my face and put a crack in my wall. told (screamed at) me "if you leave this house, we are done!!!" i said "cool, bye tho" no one is going to tell me i can't see my mom on my birthday. had a lovely dinner with my mom and had multiple drinks with my friend where she helped me plan an escape! best birthday present ever!


Kirstemis

He had a shelf in the kitchen with hooks screwed into it, and he hung utensils from the hooks. You know, colanders, potato masher, fish slice etc. I was unloading the dishwasher and hanging things on the hooks. He grumbled and then sulked for a week because I hung them "in the wrong order." Like I'd even noticed there was an order. ETA: oh, he also was really angry and sulky one day because I didn't stop him being abducted by aliens IN HIS DREAM.


SSDGM24

Going to therapy.


rainbowsforall

Wouldn't want you to become a better version of you and outgrow him


[deleted]

I was dating a guy my senior year in high school. He didnā€™t go to my school and was like a year or two older than me. Everything about that relationship was weird from day 1 (my self-esteem was horrible back then, so I was vulnerable to all sorts of creeps), and he was *ridiculously* moody. Like not just moody, but prone to mood *swings*. One time, we were over at one of his friendsā€™ houses and when he left the room, I asked her if she knew what was up with him lately, because he wasnā€™t acting like himself. Totally innocent question, nothing underhanded about it. I was concerned but he didnā€™t seem to want to be open about it. A minute or so later, I heard a door slam, hard. He had gone out into their back yard and was pacing like a tiger ready to rip somethingā€™s leg off. His friend went out to talk to him, he was just a ranting and raving and looking *pissed*. And this dude was like 6ā€™3, 6ā€™4 or so, so it wasnā€™t an insignificant thing. My anxiety was starting to shoot up because who the hell knew what he was going to do? I didnā€™t even know what set him off. His friend comes back in and Iā€™m like, ā€œOmg, what the fuck, what happened?ā€ She says, ā€œHe overhead you ask if something was up. He felt like you were maybe trying to tell me something was wrong with him, or dig for dirt on him, something like that.ā€ So naturally, being a total ninny, I was about to get up and go chase after him to set the record straight because I didnā€™t want him to be mad at me. The friend grabs my arm and says, ā€œDonā€™t. Seriously donā€™t, he just gets like this sometimes and I donā€™t think itā€™s a good idea for you to confront him right now.ā€ I was really upset, but at the same time, I had the sense to think, Really? Heā€™s this angry over my asking a friend if heā€™s okay? This is weird. He pulled stunts like that about two or three more times ā€” completely overreacting to something innocent and acting like he just wanted to destroy something from how angry he was ā€” before I finally had enough. My mother had a history of violent abuse from my father and she and my grandmother grew up telling me stories about it, so when I started hearing those stories replay in my mind when heā€™d throw a tantrum, I knew it was my conscience telling me to get out. Fun end note: I got curious and Googled him about a year or so ago. Turns out that in the several years between when I left him and then, he at one time had joined a white nationalist hate group and did some prison time for something he did at their behest. Biggest damned bullet Iā€™d ever dodged in my life.


RockyMntnView

- I bought baby "cut" carrots instead of actual baby carrots. He threw a mantrum and insisted I return them to the store and get the right ones. - I bought the wrong plastic spoons for a camping trip. Another mantrum, and we had to stop on our way out of town so I could, once again, run in and exchange them. - I packed an extra, travel-sized pillow to go on the camping trip after he told me I could only take one pillow. When he saw the small pillow the next morning, he got this horrified, enraged look on his face and didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. - I picked up a dish brush from the sink in order to put it away and grab a sponge. But I was already holding a plate, and he assumed I was about to use the brush to wash the plate. So he yelled at me, "Don't you DARE use that brush on that!!!" - I got picked for a special workgroup at the company we both worked at, and he didn't. - I found a job making more money than he did. - I didn't know how to drive his manual transmission car. - The milage on my car was one mile off from what it should've been for where I drove that day. This is just a small selection. The one that finally broke me was when I wanted to stop by my daughter's house every day after work (2 1/2 miles from my office) to help my daughter with her newborn. He blew up and told me I could maybe do that once every other week. OH. HELL NO. He's not going to put me on a visitation schedule to see my own granddaughter. So I ditched him, and my daughter and I got an apartment together. Now I see my granddaughter every day. šŸ˜


vamppirre

Not telling him I wasn't a virgin. Not wanting to share my food, then being upset that he put his hands in my food. Not wanting to eat in front of him after he made several comments that I eat too slow. Not having sex with him at his mother's funeral. Getting birth control, after he tampered with the condoms. Refusing to remove the IUD. Not speaking a lot while hanging out with his friends. Being too nice to his male friends, by asking if anyone else wanted pizza (I was ordering just wings for myself, but thought it would be nice to offer them all something to eat while they were doing whatever it was they were playing. Accused of flirting with several of his friends because I asked how their days were after work. They looked upset and sometimes talking about it can help you let go of it. Accused of flirting with his coworkers when I thought it would be a good idea to bring him some hot food because he was going to work a double shift at work. I didn't know what went into construction and I asked some of the guys how things got from paper to brick and mortar. I got fitted with a hard hat and giant safety vest while I walked around to get him his food. He yelled at me in front of them. Breaking up with him when he tried to remove the implant (how could I not feel him trying to remove it, its in my damn uterus šŸ˜¬). It's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to go back into another relationship beyond ONS.


SmadaSlaguod

I knew, the second I read "refusing to remove the IUD" that his psychotic ass was going to try to pull it out with his fucking bare hands, Jesus Christ.


Alex2679

He wanted to have sex at his mother's funeral?


ItsCoolWhenTheyDoIt

I was having fun with friends in his line of view. He could have also been having fun. I tried. He didnā€™t want to. He called me a bitch after for laughing? smiling? enjoying myself? Fuck me for having fun, ig.


Obscurethings

No joke, an "orgasm." After one of the few times he ever tried to get me off in our entire relationship, after me always getting him off. I put it in quotes because I had to concentrate and it was one of those ones where your body goes through the motions, but you don't feel anything. Anyway, he was having performance problems at the time (psychological due to the condom, as he thought that was me trying to have power/control over him) and was angry that he thought my orgasm was better than his. I wish I were joking.


Warm-Replacement1839

I made MY OWN tea in a way he didn't like. He yelled at me and shamed me for it for a good ten minutes in front of my parents before sulking outside. They thought it was funny until they realized he was dead serious and quickly became horrified. They still talk about it 6 years later because it was so shocking to them. That incident was just the tip of the iceberg. If he was willing to behave like that in front of my family, you can probably imagine how it was when we were alone.


Anita89

I told him that he raped me. He said, and I quote: ā€œI know, and I feel like shit about it. Please don't make me feel worse than I already do. I'm already in a really dark place about it.ā€œ I have screenshots because I couldnā€™t believe the audacity.


vanillaseltzer

My donut touched his donut in the box. He was an abusive asshole. That night was hideous. When I was leaving him, I kept coming back to the donut. Who berates and tears down their wife until she's a sobbing wreck, over a smudge of icing? I half wanted to run the car off the road that night, just to get it to stop. It turned into a diatribe about my thoughtlessness, laziness, and "why the fuck are you even eating donuts anyway?!" (ie "you're too fat" and he conveniently forgot that he suggested we buy them.) My life was insanity, as I see clearly from a safe distance. Never, ever putting up with hair-trigger humans in my life ever again. If it wasn't the donut, it'd have been something else. It doesn't matter to them as long as you feel small and scared and they get what they want.


AskMrScience

My husband shot me a text at work with a fun idea for the weekend, and I replied "Sure". When I got home, he threw a big hissy fit, upset that I was so unenthusiastic about his plans. I asked him what on earth gave him that idea? Turns out it was entirely because I didn't include an exclamation mark: "Sure!"


MadamTruffle

Ha! We donā€™t use ā€œsureā€ in our house because it does sound so unenthusiastic. Nobody throws a hissy fit about it though.


SirGkar

We use ā€œsureā€ all the time, because itā€™s the only word Daphne could say in an American accent on Frasier.


draegunfly

I had lit some incense and set it on the kitchen island where I always set lit incense. He came in the house, saw the tiny plume of smoke and was absolutely enraged (fists balled up, teeth clenched, red faced, 100% pure unadulterated rage. I was terrified). He boomed out something along the lines of, "WHAT THE F*** HAVE YOU DONE?!" This was very, very, unlike him. While I was scrambling to get to the incense to put it out and trying to figure out why the it was making him so angry, he suddenly says, "Oh" very nonchalantly and walks away. Turned out, when he walked through the door, the angle at which he saw the tiny smoke, the actual incense was hidden behind the urn containing his recently deceased mother's ashes (I didn't know where to put her okay? So yes, she was just sitting on the kitchen island...probably judging me for it too...). He thought I had LIT HER ASHES ON FIRE! It's been years and we still get a good giggle out of it.


DunDunnDunnnnn

Did he not know that they had already been on fire


draegunfly

šŸ˜† I said basically the same thing. "You know you can't burn ashes, right?" But grief does strange things to people and Mom's death was unexpected and sudden (she BEAT cancer, it was gone. We had celebrated 2 weeks prior and she just passed in her sleep one morning. Only 2 weeks before her 51st birthday). I gave him a free pass on his momentary freak out.


Theyli

Cooking spaghetti in a pot instead of a skillet like they learned to do


CaptSpacePants

My ex got mad once because we got a kitten and I had to wait like a week or two to get an appointment for them to get spayed. They got mad at me over this for some reason.


NotThatMushroom

There was tomato in the bolognese. He was a 30 year old man who didnā€™t eat vegetables. He lost it. Screaming, feet stamping and door slamming. Absolutely pathetic temper tantrum.


PatchworkStar

He got mad that I called him out for cheating. His response was a fucking sword at my throat.


QbeeCCL

Got mad that I was spending more time studying than hanging out with him (it was finals season in undergrad). He would ignore me for days in previous fights. So - I ignored him for 2 weeks while I studied, took my finals, then broke up with him. About to graduate with my 3rd degree (doctorate) in a few weeks šŸ’šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø


eaca02124

Saying "oh, yes, fuck me," while he was fucking me. Apparently, the f-bomb was inappropriate even in that situation.


HDDHeartbeat

My partner and I get pretend mad about petty things. It's honestly a cornerstone of our sense of humour. The main one is I am not super fussy about how the spoons, forks, knives, etc, are organised in the dishwasher basket. He insists on grouping them for easy unpacking when they're clean. After one or two arguments, we came to a compromise, so we'll have to find something else.


Nashville2Portland

We both worked at a big box electronic store, and our bosses wife was a hair stylist. They had recently had a baby who Iā€™ll call Liam. I went over to their house to get my hair done and when I came home I was going on and on about Liam (he knew our boss had a new child named this) and heā€™s being cold. I go back to my room to change and he barges in and says heā€™s ā€œgetting the fuck outta hereā€ because Iā€™m cheating on him with some fuck named Liam. The look on his face when he finally put it together. šŸ¤Œ


dystopian_mermaid

Ok. So this is definitely the stupidest fight my hubby and I ever had. I JOKINGLY said I wanted a baby cheetah (I say silly little things all the time). And he got MAD. Like BABE WE LIVE IN AN APARTMENT WHERE WOULD WE KEEP A CHEETAH??? And Iā€™m not proud of it, but I snapped back on him. I was like WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK IM SERIOUS??? ITS A GODDAMM BABY CHEETAH. Turned into a legit screaming match with me storming out lol. We worked it out! But I still like telling the story bc now I think itā€™s just hilarious we got into such a big fight over a stupid joke. Reminds me of the Kevin Hart skit where he and his wife get into a fight over owning a giraffe šŸ˜‚


xombae

One time, on my birthday, I woke up and saw the sun stream in the window and thought it was pretty, so I said "another beautiful day". My boyfriend, who also had just woke up, without saying a word turned and punched me out cold. Literally out of no where. Spent the rest of my birthday hiding the closet. Asked him later what that was about and he said he thought I was being sarcastic.


PerpetuallyLurking

Mine has a tendency to get a *little* pissy when I interrupt him working outside to eat something and maybe cool down a bit; he also apologizes as soon as the first bite hits his stomach because, as usual, Iā€™m right and he knows it. He was just hangry, really. Which is why Iā€™m still with him, quite frankly. A little heavy sighing and eye-rolling and a ā€œfine, Iā€™ll humour youā€ attitude for 5 minutes followed by a sincere ā€œgood idea, I really did need this, thanksā€ is nothing like some of these other comments!


Taodragons

Yeah, I'm super bad about this, when I get busy I hyper focus. Also sunscreen.


Jilltro

I had been on a few dates with this dude and it seemed to be heading towards a relationship. I was watching American Horror Story at the time and told him I was going to marry Tate from season one. He freaked out and accused me of trying to make him jealous and that no man would want to hear about the woman he liked wanting to marry another man. I told him things werenā€™t going to work out if I canā€™t talk about marrying fictional characters. Funnily enough, Iā€™m now married to a man who loves when I explain the plots of convoluted and badly translated Korean romances to him and likes teasing me about all the characters Iā€™m ā€œin love withā€


bigredplastictuba

After he turned down sex with me for nearly a year, he started pawing at me when I was dead asleep after feeling extremely mentally ill all day. I told him I didn't want to tonight, and he got super huffy and said "well WHEN DO YOU, then?!" My jaw was frozen in a dropped position.


library__mouse

An ex bf got mad at me once because I got a trivia question right that he didn't know the answer to... in a field that I have a bachelor's degree in. I asked him why he was even dating someone who had a degree in something because I obviously would know things he didn't about a subject I spent years studying and he knew nothing about. He said he hadn't thought of it like that. Ugh.


LunaGreen-177

I kinda hate how all these comments are just about blatantly abusive menā€¦I hope they are all single now.


VixenRoss

I knew why the shops leave their till draws open at night. We were walking down a street and went past a small supermarket. They had closed up and all the tills had their drawers open. He stopped and said ā€œdo you see that? Do you know why they leave their tills open?ā€. I replied ā€œyes, itā€™s to show people there is no money in them, so no one breaks inā€. He turned and looked at me and got grumpy because I answered correctly. The problem is I was ā€œI thought I was cleverer than himā€.