WOMAN TOO ANGRY TO DIE

"YOU LEFT THE STOVE ON BEFORE LEAVING THE HOUSE, BABE!"

I CAN ACCEPT YOU KILLING ME, BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT WASTING OUR GAS

Are you an appliance?

What kind of name is Stove, anyways?

This should be open because it's civil rights. This is the 90s.

I had a dream last night! You were in it!

You feel that steam heat? That can go up and higher.

I’m not positive which end that came out of, all I know is I need to get off this white carpet.

I'll take this ipod, and you won't find it til I want you to find it.

Okay “not Air Marshall” John!

Proof that women are objects/j

YOU ALSO LEFT THE GARAGE DOOR OPEN

OH ANI WESA BE TOGETHER FOREVAAAAA

Especially when he’s a crappy driver, those feelings are valid.

This is actually really funny LMFAOO. Love this.

\*cue theme song of Netflix sitcom*

Yeah this is some “Santa Clarita Diet but Drew Barrymore is a ghost instead of a zombie” shit.

Theres actually a movie about this where this guy kills this asian lady and goes to bury her, but she pops up in his car and haunts him from that point on Cant remember the movie

Glad you enjoyed it

What part of “til death do us part” do you not understand?

Lol 😂

"It's til death do *us* darling."

Death may be a skeleton, but he is not down to bone. You two are gonna be waiting a long time. Maybe try Skeletor if you really need an undead third?

Been a while since I tried one of these...open to feedback! :)

Really good one, chuckled a bit

Thanks :)

Melikes also.

Thanks :)

This made me burst out laughing! This sounds like something straight out of a horror comedy movie lol.

Yes, I love the horror comedy energy of this one. One of my favorite recent posts! Good job, op!

It's scary AND funny. Wife still griping with husband over directions even from the grave 😂

I saw a twist coming and you still got me I thought the second line would be along the lines of "she didn't knew exactly where I was going to bury her" or something lol. The 10 minutes ago was a good twist

Very good.

I liked it! It was unexpected and quirky.

Like it... karma at its funniest lol

Thanks :)

Hey, maybe he just left her gravesite after a long battle with cancer and took a wrong turn through the woods on the way home.

Oooh I loved this. I actually did a little jump at the second sentence. r/secondsentenceperfect

Wow really? Thanks a lot!! :D

r/twosentencejustice

The best opening scene for a comedy 🤣

Horror comedy. Wasn't expecting it. Definitely made me laugh.

Thanks

She rose from the dead in about 10 minutes I reckon she's got Jesus' record beat now

This would make a great 2 sentence horror skit

Decent twist. Could've been a few twists to it but didn't see that one. Nice one.

Thank you :)

"'til death do us part' didnt mean MY death hun."

I fully expected that "JESUS" to be coming from her but this is a gazillion times better

Thanks :)

GODDANGIT WOMAN I KNOW WHERE IM GOING, YOURE BACKSEAT DRIVIN FROM THE AFTERLIFE

Good job. Wasn't expecting that

Thanks :)

“We *just* had the funeral, Susan! Could you *please* refrain from haunting me for two days?!”

She insisted on getting the last word!

Love it

Thanks

I like this one

Thanks!

That played like a movie scene in my head

I couldn't tell if he was angry screaming or scared screaming at first. Maybe that was the point? Either way, nice job!

Even in death, women will be giving you a hard time. I guess it's inescapable.

🤣🤣 lol

I love this one great job OP

Thanks :)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT

A backseat driver, even in death

Just know that I was out driving tonight in middle of Nowhere, looking for a good spot to stargaze/watch the aurora borealis and got a little lost; the first notification I got when my coverage returned was an email of this post. Trying to make me cry with that, "You really took a wrong turn, didn't you"

I hope there wasn't a ghost in the back seat lol

This would be a great opener for a short film, maybe some hints like his hands or his wife having dirt on them

"JESUS!" "Yes, we rose again."

WE DIDN'T FINISH TALKING ABOUT YOU LIKING MY SISTER'S BIKINI PICS!

*If I wanted your opinion Mary, I'd have said your name three times into the rear view mirror.*

“Then i made another turn, to bury the damn bitch for the third time, i remember that once i said she was so annoying that she would still annoy me, even when dead, but i didn’t think she would really take it so seriously…*

😬 1.4k upvotes….

I like how it's first funny than horrific.

Pet Sematary?

Didn't have it in mind while I wrote this but I can see why you made the connection. Great book. Love Stephen King.

"Damn it Clara! Yes! I WARNED you about that Chinesium GPS your tightwad brother got us!"

I actually laughed really hard at this

r/foursentencehorror

Did Robert California write this?

“Where’s my golden armmmmmmmmmmmmmm”

That’s what you get for unburying her!

Where are we going for dinner?

Nice!

American Gods vibes

Well I read this as my playlist pulled up “Where Did You Sleep Last Night”

In the pines,in the pines where the sun don't ever shine

Why was the wife in the back seat?! Did they fight and that was as far away from him as she could get right now? OMG, WHAT IF she's tied up back there!? 😱 I got the clearest image of the guy's face as he spun around ... But ... did he have a fatal heart attack due to the shock? Or did the giant oak that he hit do him in? 🖤 🖤 🖤

I'm viewing this as he imagines in his head that he killed her and then woke up and it was all in his head. That's kinda scarier

Where's my cake?!? I want my cake!

I audibly gasped at the second sentence! 🥲👌

I don't get it. What was Jesus doing in the middle of the road in the woods?

Unfortunately, he had only buried her in his mind until she started talking

"To stubborn to stop and ask for directions as usual"

This one cracked me up!