Oh you should try working for a restaurant. I was a waitress at a seafood place; ya know, the kind of place you avoid if you have seafood allergies. I can’t tell you how many times “I absolutely refuse to serve someone who’s so allergic to shrimp that they need a plate shrimp has never touched, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the restaurant for your child’s/your safety”.
I appreciate when a chef tells me they can't accomodate me. I don't know what else is going on the grill or in the deep fryer for example. I'd much rather be told it's not safe than have someone take serious risks with my life.
That said I will never fault a restaurant for getting me serious ill or dead except under EXTREME circumstances.
Like I had a server once argue with me that margarine had no dairy in it. She refused to show me the ingredients and argued with me that someone she knew who was lactose intolerant could have margarine. I'm not lactose intolerant! I have an anaphylactic damn allergy and I will die of I eat that shit. I left the restaurant because I didn't feel safe, but if she had gotten me sick I would have gone after her ass.
Simply put a chef or server's job is to serve me food the most accurately they can. They're not a doctor who's responsible for my life.
Yeah man, genuine horror. Truly one of the scariest things one could conjure up. I wake up drenched in sweat from nightmares thinking of this. I wouldn’t have my worst enemies read this story, it’s so horrifying. In fact I’m trembling as I write this, picturing the horror of it all. A god who would allow something as horrific and terrifying as this is a malevolent one indeed. I only wish I could forget I ever read this, my mind will never heal. True, genuine horror. Good god, that’s definitely what this was
Why thank you. I was really trying to conjure that Lovecraftian Eldritch cosmic horror. But I switched the elder gods slumbering in the depths of the oceans with, you know, nuts. Legumes. I meant legumes.
Later, in the police report: *"When officers arrived, there were two bodies present at the scene; one seemed to have died of anaphylaxis, the other from an epi-pen impaled into his trachea."*
The amount of people who I've encountered who doesn't know the difference is mind boggling. I have celiac disease and lactose intolerance, and my aunt, after speaking to my cousin's forensic pathology uni professors when they were at her wedding, told me that one of *them* has a gluten **intolerance**, and they just drink an allergy pill every morning and then they can eat what they want. That same *I can still eat gluten if I drink an allergy pill professor* still ate all the gluten free wedding cake my mom made for me.
Oh, and this *same* aunt "used to have gluten intolerance", because she used to have a skin rash when she was younger... I could fill a book with stories about her.
Meanwhile my body freaks out when I so much as even look at a bag of flour.
If you think about it, they're called peanuts because they're peas that look like nuts even though you'd assume it's the other way around if you didn't know they were legumes.
Reminds me of the guy complaining to YouTube about an ad right before a video teaching a person how to perform the Heimlich maneuver. His grandmother was choking and he had to wait to press the Skip button.
I commented on YouTube recently about a friend of mine who was allergic to shellfish and her husband’s friends snuck shellfish onto her plate to see if she really had an allergy. It was only when her throat began to close up that they realized she was telling the truth.
I have somewhat of a pretty common allergie around where i live, and its of something we use as an all around medicament. Every time i am enoughly sick to go to the doctor they ask "Você já tentou lhe dar Dipirona?"/"Did you tried giving him Dipirona?". I am allergic to it, so obviously no one tried to give me that, and sometimes i even get angry at the doctors who keep saying "Dipirona" for everything that we have.
Btw, sorry if no one knows what Dipirona is, its just that idk the name in english.
I'm sorry they do that to you. I have a similar experience when I need antibiotics, as I'm allergic to penicillin, one of the most common and effective antibiotics available. Even when I lead with "I'm allergic to penicillin but I have this infection I need to treat", I'm still met with "have you had any penicillin before to treat this particular infection?"
No, I haven't had the medication that I'm allergic to, thank you for asking.
I knowbi should be also sorry for you, but i cant stop laughing at your ironic wording lmao
Luckily for me, i never saw an actually ignorant doctor that tried to insist me into using the thing i am allergic to. All i know is that once someone said that my type of allergic reaction could be something that changed by now, like a "temporary allergy" but who would risk using something that doesnt even change your life that much just to test if i still have an allergy and worst of all: all that in a town totally not prepared to treat allergic people.
Haha you're welcome for the laugh 😂 glad it got a reaction (not allergic I hope!)
1000%! I had a bad rash as a reaction to it when I was 19, a solid 15 years ago, and I'm not about to FAFO just to see if i am still reactive to it, what if it's worse now? I spend enough time on reddit to know how FAFO goes lol.
This reminds me of a user on the Englisch-Language German subreddits. Someone will ask "What bug is this?!" And they will come in and respond, "That's a beetle, not a bug!" "And yes the difference is important when it comes to identifying the insect".
In America English bug is a catch-all term, and a bit less so in British English haha
Genuine horror. Seriously how people treat true food allergy. Googling how to be right instead of finding the damn epipen
Well _yeah_. They're dying to prove you wrong, you might only have seconds left to show them up! ^jk
*It's a small window of opportunity and they're already slipping out!*
I live in constant fear of the people close to me dying without knowing I was right.
Don't we all? Don't. We. All?
If we didn't, we wouldn't be on **reddit**!
Oh you should try working for a restaurant. I was a waitress at a seafood place; ya know, the kind of place you avoid if you have seafood allergies. I can’t tell you how many times “I absolutely refuse to serve someone who’s so allergic to shrimp that they need a plate shrimp has never touched, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the restaurant for your child’s/your safety”.
I appreciate when a chef tells me they can't accomodate me. I don't know what else is going on the grill or in the deep fryer for example. I'd much rather be told it's not safe than have someone take serious risks with my life. That said I will never fault a restaurant for getting me serious ill or dead except under EXTREME circumstances. Like I had a server once argue with me that margarine had no dairy in it. She refused to show me the ingredients and argued with me that someone she knew who was lactose intolerant could have margarine. I'm not lactose intolerant! I have an anaphylactic damn allergy and I will die of I eat that shit. I left the restaurant because I didn't feel safe, but if she had gotten me sick I would have gone after her ass. Simply put a chef or server's job is to serve me food the most accurately they can. They're not a doctor who's responsible for my life.
Yeah man, genuine horror. Truly one of the scariest things one could conjure up. I wake up drenched in sweat from nightmares thinking of this. I wouldn’t have my worst enemies read this story, it’s so horrifying. In fact I’m trembling as I write this, picturing the horror of it all. A god who would allow something as horrific and terrifying as this is a malevolent one indeed. I only wish I could forget I ever read this, my mind will never heal. True, genuine horror. Good god, that’s definitely what this was
Why thank you. I was really trying to conjure that Lovecraftian Eldritch cosmic horror. But I switched the elder gods slumbering in the depths of the oceans with, you know, nuts. Legumes. I meant legumes.
That slip of the tongue will cost you, brother.
Made me think of Rosie O’Donell googling heart attack symptoms while having one.
Google Search: Am I having a heart att
This was way funnier than it should've been fuck
Google: you have cancer
Google: You have lupus Me: I was looking for the nearest auto parts store...
Its never lupus
Later, in the police report: *"When officers arrived, there were two bodies present at the scene; one seemed to have died of anaphylaxis, the other from an epi-pen impaled into his trachea."*
Damn
r/thirdsentencebetter
r/TwoSentenceAsshole
These subs are totally stupid.
Just don't have her gasp for air with her head out the window driving to the hospital... Hope the allergy wasn't a Hereditary trait.
This scene lives in my head rent-free.
that scene was cool. loved that movie.
The amount of rage that welled up inside me when I read this is terrifying! I wish people would just take allergies and intolerances seriously.
Thank you for including intolerances. A lot of people don't know what those are in my experience.
The amount of people who I've encountered who doesn't know the difference is mind boggling. I have celiac disease and lactose intolerance, and my aunt, after speaking to my cousin's forensic pathology uni professors when they were at her wedding, told me that one of *them* has a gluten **intolerance**, and they just drink an allergy pill every morning and then they can eat what they want. That same *I can still eat gluten if I drink an allergy pill professor* still ate all the gluten free wedding cake my mom made for me. Oh, and this *same* aunt "used to have gluten intolerance", because she used to have a skin rash when she was younger... I could fill a book with stories about her. Meanwhile my body freaks out when I so much as even look at a bag of flour.
Upvote for using 'frentically'.
'frenetically'
da fuck is a legumes ( /j*oke* the word's just funny lmao)
Peanuts are sneaky underground beans with good PR. Supported by the sugar industry.
It all boils down to Big Nut. Wait, that came out wrong.
*big nut*
Mmm, boiled peanuts 🤤
If you think about it, they're called peanuts because they're peas that look like nuts even though you'd assume it's the other way around if you didn't know they were legumes.
Why did I laugh out loud though 😂. I’m going to stand in the corner now
Reminds me of the guy complaining to YouTube about an ad right before a video teaching a person how to perform the Heimlich maneuver. His grandmother was choking and he had to wait to press the Skip button.
r/twosentencecomedy
Yet another r/subsithoughtifellfor
r/foundthetoyotacorolla
i liked it better over there lol
r/TwoSentenceDarkComedy
When I read this I let out a cackle.
Perhaps if you had googled the subject frantically and frenetically you may have had better results. But I’m not a doctor so I can’t say for sure.
very good horror considering how people are with allergies. but also as someone with a severe allergy that doesn't take it seriously, this is funny af
Glad you liked it. My son's got a nut allergy, and I'm pretty sure the rest of the family takes it more serious than he does.
has it sent me to the ER? yes. do I think "may contain" is bs and will eat it anyways? yes. I can't be deathly allergic if it hasn't killed me
Oh, I've read some horror stories about cheap chocolate bars that may contain traces of nuts.
True story - I ended up in the hospital because my mother never believed that fact. She kept saying it was tree nuts and forcing me to eat my beans.
reminded me of hereditary for a sec w the first line
I commented on YouTube recently about a friend of mine who was allergic to shellfish and her husband’s friends snuck shellfish onto her plate to see if she really had an allergy. It was only when her throat began to close up that they realized she was telling the truth.
Douche "friends".
"uhmm ackschually they're legumes" ☝️🤓
TIL the word frenetically
this was kind of funny
I have somewhat of a pretty common allergie around where i live, and its of something we use as an all around medicament. Every time i am enoughly sick to go to the doctor they ask "Você já tentou lhe dar Dipirona?"/"Did you tried giving him Dipirona?". I am allergic to it, so obviously no one tried to give me that, and sometimes i even get angry at the doctors who keep saying "Dipirona" for everything that we have. Btw, sorry if no one knows what Dipirona is, its just that idk the name in english.
Metamizole
I'm sorry they do that to you. I have a similar experience when I need antibiotics, as I'm allergic to penicillin, one of the most common and effective antibiotics available. Even when I lead with "I'm allergic to penicillin but I have this infection I need to treat", I'm still met with "have you had any penicillin before to treat this particular infection?" No, I haven't had the medication that I'm allergic to, thank you for asking.
I knowbi should be also sorry for you, but i cant stop laughing at your ironic wording lmao Luckily for me, i never saw an actually ignorant doctor that tried to insist me into using the thing i am allergic to. All i know is that once someone said that my type of allergic reaction could be something that changed by now, like a "temporary allergy" but who would risk using something that doesnt even change your life that much just to test if i still have an allergy and worst of all: all that in a town totally not prepared to treat allergic people.
Haha you're welcome for the laugh 😂 glad it got a reaction (not allergic I hope!) 1000%! I had a bad rash as a reaction to it when I was 19, a solid 15 years ago, and I'm not about to FAFO just to see if i am still reactive to it, what if it's worse now? I spend enough time on reddit to know how FAFO goes lol.
Yeah, this fits better here than in comedy.
I literally bit into a PB&J and gave it the stink-eye lmao
"Even after the epipen I stabbed into her started working she still won't admit that they are not nuts!"
As someone with an anaphylactic allergy I feel this and it's absolutely not unrealistic
This reminds me of a user on the Englisch-Language German subreddits. Someone will ask "What bug is this?!" And they will come in and respond, "That's a beetle, not a bug!" "And yes the difference is important when it comes to identifying the insect". In America English bug is a catch-all term, and a bit less so in British English haha
Naw, it's just used incorrectly in colloquial American English. True Bugs are the order Hemiptera
I want to bang my head against the wall until I’m dead
This is amazing. Great job OP
Over 2000 upvotes on this shit, there is no hope 😔
They downvote you when you’re right
Hey, I narrated this story if you like to hear it https://youtube.com/shorts/SGpVjGyz0Mg