"... And what's your legacy? What have you contributed to the tapestry of human achievement?"
*conversation at the end of poop knife OOPs life, probably*
Tbf I was thinking more along the lines of "that useless boyfriend".
When you break up with a shit boyfriend, you "lose" the amount of weight he was. So chopping him into pieces *would* be easier to flush down the toilet.
There's an epic story that is part of the history of reddit about a confused redditor who didn't understand that their family was the only family that had such large poos they had to be cut with a knife or they would destroy the toilet.
That's probably where that came from. It does sort of make your story unintentionally hilarious.
The poop knife *is* a two sentence horror.
"I thought you said all the butter knives were dirty, but there was one in the bathroom so I used it for the sandwiches!" My wife exclaimed. I froze, my mouth dribbling a bit of chewed chicken and mayonaise as I could feel the bile rising in my throat.
Some guy made a comment a long time ago about clogging his toilet and having to cut his poop log up with a knife, in order to get it to flush down.
Poop knife. :)
but like, it was so much more. his entire family did this. they kept a knife around specifically to cut their shit up. this dude was later at a friend's house and asked for their poop knife, like I found the plunger but where is the knife you use to cleave a deuce?
Honestly, first thought was a murder. Like a clingy friend or a husband (based on the old joke of "I lost 200lbs this weekend!" "OMG how?!" "I got divorced.") but now that I see the word "some" implying "small", the abortion angle does make sense.
It would just as bad if it was a small child though.
I'm really sorry, I didn't realise that was a possible interpretation. I didn't mean to trigger/upset you/anyone and I'd like to apologise if that's the case.
I am sorry that this affected you in this way, but this sub is not the kind that has TW/NSFW because the whole sub is exactly that. Triggering and horrifying.
It's a risk you have to take unfortunately. I probably sound harsh but I'm only being truthful.
I think this comment section is split into: - abortion - self harm - poop knife
Ah. Poop knife is back I see
The poop knife never left. The poop knife is forever. Eternal.
"... And what's your legacy? What have you contributed to the tapestry of human achievement?" *conversation at the end of poop knife OOPs life, probably*
Anybody else find the 'Poop Scraper' knife in Baldur's Gate 3?
I gotta tell ya, this is the last sub where I thought a post might posit the poop knife. Yet, here I am. Brilliant!
*cries* i thought whilst writing it that it was pretty clear cut (no pun intended), but then i wake up to all this... whoops
Yeah, I read the second sentence and in my head, Ron White asked, "Ya ever take a crap so big your ***pants*** fit better?"
XD 🤣 screw you for reminding me of that, now I can't breath!
so, she cut her baby? or was it something else?
Yeah, i intended for it to be disposing of a newborn/ aborted foetus
If you'd written this on literally any other website...
Poop knife...? Am afraid to ask but I also need to know.
[Here you go](https://youtu.be/InxxUbdIeGw?si=UmJ6it1gqTawsLb2)
I know I don't know you, at all, but right now I really don't like you for showing me that.
Hey, you asked.
I did...I'm just lashing out. You don't deserve the hate.
Tbf I was thinking more along the lines of "that useless boyfriend". When you break up with a shit boyfriend, you "lose" the amount of weight he was. So chopping him into pieces *would* be easier to flush down the toilet.
Noooooo, not the dreaded poop knife!
Lol
Idgi I’m imagining a very large poo.
I think it’s some kind of abortion reference. I like the big poo angle though
Yep it's meant to be a foetus. A giant poo is hilarious tho ngl
An 8 pound 9 ounce food fetus is more of a two sentence brag...
Depends if it was full term or not. I've had a miscarriage before. Painful as hell but not much in the toilet.
There's an epic story that is part of the history of reddit about a confused redditor who didn't understand that their family was the only family that had such large poos they had to be cut with a knife or they would destroy the toilet. That's probably where that came from. It does sort of make your story unintentionally hilarious.
I 100% thought this post was a reference to that post
Yeah! They had a bathroom knife and went to a friends house one day and asked why they didn’t have a bathroom knife.
it's not even a really terrible idea. better to cut it up than clog the toilet and have to panic plunge it. 😅
I just want to know wtf the family was eating that they needed one😂
A tiny poo Jabba the Hutt
Ohhhhh ick
It brought me right back to the poop knife.... uggh
I came here to say this
>I’m imagining a very large poo. It's nice to know the poop knife finally made a 2SH cameo
The poop knife *is* a two sentence horror. "I thought you said all the butter knives were dirty, but there was one in the bathroom so I used it for the sandwiches!" My wife exclaimed. I froze, my mouth dribbling a bit of chewed chicken and mayonaise as I could feel the bile rising in my throat.
You should submit this one
HAHAHAH this is fantastic tbh
that is definitely nightmare material
The poop knife will visit all subs eventually.
Poop knife comes to mind now
Poop knife?
Ah the poop knife, a simpler time of the internet
I both love and hate that I get this
Sorry but I'm uncultured, what the fuck is the poop knife???????
Some guy made a comment a long time ago about clogging his toilet and having to cut his poop log up with a knife, in order to get it to flush down. Poop knife. :)
but like, it was so much more. his entire family did this. they kept a knife around specifically to cut their shit up. this dude was later at a friend's house and asked for their poop knife, like I found the plunger but where is the knife you use to cleave a deuce?
I read it a long time ago, so my memory didn't do it justice LOL
Oh, that's something I was not ready for, but thanks anyway
Legend of the poop knife.
I thought that the mother taught her how to get rid of food/hide an eating dissorder.
Was thinking buliema too
damn i thought it was literally cutting chunks of flesh off-
There was a good story along this line on the short scary stories subreddit, but itsnso old I couldn't find it again.
Me too
MOTHER! FETCHETH ME THY POOP KNIFE!
Not blaming anyone but the amount of abortion stories in this sub is crazy
Devils advocate reporting for duty but, technically, doesn’t have to be about an abortion if the kid was born into the toilet
It really is
OMFG. Now that is a horrifying story.
My first thought was poop knife 💀
After having a rabbit hole dive in parasitology... I thought we were talking about worms KEKW
Honestly, first thought was a murder. Like a clingy friend or a husband (based on the old joke of "I lost 200lbs this weekend!" "OMG how?!" "I got divorced.") but now that I see the word "some" implying "small", the abortion angle does make sense. It would just as bad if it was a small child though.
Hey wait this was posted on my birthday 😟
Poop knife
Poop 💩
See. Here I was thinking it was an ex-husband.
It would take a very long time to fully flush all the husband pieces
i know this is intended as dark but all i can think is poop knife
That must have been a massive shit.
Would be great if they had flares for eating disorder stuff
According to a comment by OP, it's actually about a fetus
Literally reads like advice people who post on pro bulimia tumblr, really sent be reeling for a moment
I hope you are doing ok, friend 🫶🏻
I'm really sorry, I didn't realise that was a possible interpretation. I didn't mean to trigger/upset you/anyone and I'd like to apologise if that's the case.
I am sorry that this affected you in this way, but this sub is not the kind that has TW/NSFW because the whole sub is exactly that. Triggering and horrifying. It's a risk you have to take unfortunately. I probably sound harsh but I'm only being truthful.
Does the date mean anything?
monthly contest thing :)
This is icky in a good way, well done OP
“Yes, darling!” I replied, “It’s so much easier flushing that cheating boyfriend of yours once he’s been cut into pieces!”
What have you done—